Rebeccah Silence argues that assuming your partner isn't trying to hurt you, even when they do, creates space for real conversation. Use "I" statements and requests instead of accusations. She notes this only works in non-abusive relationships.
When you're communicating, when you're being honest, really do your best to see the other person is innocent. They're not trying to hurt you. And they're also just a product of their programming, their environment, their past, and their history of evidence around whether or not they get their needs met. So give people a chance to grow with you. Tell the truth. They're innocent. They're not trying to hurt you. Now, if it's an abusive dynamic, please get help, please. But I am speaking to non abusive relationships right now where you're just frustrated. You're just frustrated. You're just frustrated. Talk in terms of I statements. I want to let you know how much you mean to me. And I'm struggling a little bit. This is scary to ask, but will you have a hard conversation with me so that we can be closer and so there's nothing between us.
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