When is the best time to make a significant change? - Mental Wellness Wednesday with Gary Spears.

Mix 102.5. The best mix from the 90s to now, it's Big Papa in the Afternoon. It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Life coach Rebecca Silence, Tougher Together, a breakthrough podcast and the upcoming book Coming Back to Life comes out this October. Rebecca, how are you?

I am very well. Thank you so much for having me. And to all of you listening, I just love our Mental Wellness Wednesdays every week.

So it seems like with the spring comes new opportunities for lots of people. I want to talk about when is the right time to make a major change, Whether it be changing jobs or whether it be moving to a new city. When is a good time to do something like that?

Oh my gosh, this is such a great question. And I think, you know, spring definitely opens us up to remembering and that there are possibilities and opportunities in front of us, but there's really never a second where there aren't opportunities and choices and possibilities available to us. So let's just put that out there and then in terms of like, when is a good time to make a major life decision? It's never a good time, but what I can give you is a few ideas of bases you can cover first. Right. Because it doesn't matter, really. Like, the timing is never going to sync up. There's never going to be enough time, enough money. Everybody is like perfectly got their ducks in a row and lightning has struck and now we feel good about a major life decision. It's always going to be, you know, shaky in some way, shape or form because you're now swimming in unchartered waters that you don't actually know you can swim in yet. Sure. Right. So when it comes to making major life decisions, I want to give you three things to avoid and three things to step into powerfully. So the first thing to avoid is make sure you're not running away. If you're making a decision to run from a physical or literal circumstance or from an emotional experience. It's cheesy, but it's true. You will end up in the same experience experience with a different cast of characters or within yourself once the fresh love honeymoon phase fades when you find yourself in the new scenario. So make sure you're not running number two, make sure you're not seeking revenge because karma is a real biatch and it'll bite you. So what I mean by that is maybe you're just doing a, you know, a little bit of a words I can't say on air because you're mad at somebody. So now you're going to give them the old mm, but it's actually you hurting you more than that. So if you're going to, you know, spend all your money in the account to prove something to your spouse that cheated on you, this is a revenge based decision that isn't going to help you in the long run. Okay, so running revenge and then the, the third thing, avoiding. Right. Like it might sound counterintuitive. If you're making a big decision, how could you be avoiding. But maybe you're, maybe you're making a big decision to distract yourself from something you really need to deal with, like a health issue or like a lie in your marriage or whatever it is. So what I want you to consider will be kind of step one, step two, step three, to powerfully step into before you make a big life decision is you, you want to make sure you've prepared yourself to be free and clear and proud of this decision, no matter how it shakes up. So for example, so I want you to be proud of your decision and.

Before you get, before you get before, before you start moving ahead and whatnot. So to, so to recap the things, the things that you want to avoid when making the big decision is real quick. It is running away. Running away and avoidance.

Right. Otherwise known as a distraction. So like we're making a big decision to distract ourselves from the real issues that we have to face.

Okay, so now what are three things that people should have when they're making a big decision?

I love it. So the first is you've got to be willing to be proud of your decision and stand behind your decision no matter how it shakes out. So for example, when Mark and I were moving to Colorado, I said, you know, if your business and industry literally goes up in smoke, is, you know, in agriculture and the marijuana industry, so if that, you know, falls apart and, you know, my business, you know, is struggling to rebuild, moving to another state, are we willing to sell the house, get a crappy apartment and wait tables and rebuild? So I wanted us so proud of and so standing behind our decision that we were willing to deal with the consequences of whatever might happen as a result. And to have thought about that ahead of time. So the first thing is be proud of your decision, stand by your decision and think about ahead of time. You know, is this something I'm really willing to stand in no matter what? Same thing. When I moved from Las Vegas to New York to be with Mark, I asked myself, if it doesn't work out with Mark, am I still wanting to move to New York with my daughter after I had moved to Las Vegas with a different guy. Right. Like, I'm just modeling vulnerably for everyone right now. You know, how I think ahead. But that's not fear based, it's possibility based. And so that's. The next thing is when you're making a big decision. No. All right. If it doesn't work out the way that I want it to do, I understand that I have the power within me to create new possibilities, even if the way I thought it was going to go doesn't happen. When I moved to Las Vegas with my daughter, the job that I thought I had, it didn't work out. So I ended up starting a private practice and became a school counseling coordinator for a charter school district. That was not the plan. I was already in Vegas. But the job I thought I had, it wasn't going to pay me what I thought, and we wouldn't make it. So I had to be willing to pivot. Right. So stand in your decision, be proud of it, and then remember that you have possibility and the ability to pivot no matter how things shake out. And then the third thing is you can't care about other people's opinions and factor and weigh those in. As you're making the decision, you have to be certain about your opinion and why this is a good decision for you. Care about the people, care. Don't care about their opinions, care about yours and know why this is so important to you.

And I would imagine that most people, they're going to give their opinion and they're going to be happy for you. But at the same time, a lot of people will respond selfishly because. Because you're, you're leaving them or they're scared for you or something along those lines.

Well, and I'm glad you said that. They're scared for you because their opinion is based on, you know, their ability to see what they think is possible. And there's so much possible. You know, when I started inspired results, nobody told me this was a good idea. When I was about to pitch the radio, nobody told me that was a good idea. When I quit chemo in the middle of cancer, nobody told me that was a good idea, but it was the right decision for me. So what I want when you're making big decisions is for you to make the right decisions for you and be willing to. For life to shake out how it does and know how resilient and powerful you are, because there will never be a moment where you can't continue to create. But don't be afraid to do that. Free fall into new possibility just because you don't actually know you can survive there yet. Prove it to yourself because you can.

It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday with life coach Rebecca Silence. The book coming out in October is coming back to life. You can pre order it now. The podcast Tougher A Breakthrough Podcasts and all the details at rebeccasilence. Com. Rebecca, thank you so much. We'll talk to you next time.

Love you all. Bye.