In this Mental Wellness Wednesday interview, love and emotional healing coach Rebeccah Silence discusses the recent death of her 16‑year‑old rescue dog, Black Beauty. She explains that grief is an inevitable part of loving, describing how grief feels like a wave of uncertainty about survival. Rebeccah emphasizes that isolating oneself during grief is harmful; instead, being witnessed and sharing vulnerability is essential for healing. She shares the story of rescuing Black Beauty, the dog’s transformation from a fearful, aggressive animal to a gentle, loving companion, and how that journey mirrored her own emotional growth. Rebeccah outlines three categories of tears—victim tears, grieving tears, and tears of joy—arguing that expressing all of them is a fountain of youth that restores vitality. She also details the practical, painful decision to euthanize Black Beauty, describing home IV treatments, kidney failure, and the importance of choosing a humane end. Throughout, she reinforces that love, even when accompanied by grief, is worth the pain and that embracing grief makes us fully human.
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Foreign. We're live and local. It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Big pop in the morning, welcoming the world's leading love and emotional healing coach. She is Rebecca. Silence. Rebecca, good morning. How are you?
Hello, everyone. I love you and I'm so grateful to be here.
And of course, you can check her out@theunsilentwoman.com so. Well, unfortunately, you've had someone very near and dear pass away over this past week. And I figure, let's talk about it because if you're going through it, other people have either have gone through it or will go through it in the future. You lost your puppy.
Yeah.
So let's, let's, you know, and I'm not trying to, not trying to rub salt in any way, shape or form, but you're going through it. So, you know, if, so if, you know, if the unsilent woman is going through it, that means everyone else is going to be going through it too. So.
Yeah. Yes. So Black Beauty, she's right here, was 16 and looked like a puppy her whole life. And I feel like I grew up with her. And the thing about grief is it's not guaranteed that just because you love, you're going to get your heart broken, but it actually is guaranteed that just because you love, you will grieve. And here's what I mean by that. Grief just means letting go of what was that's never coming back the way it was. And my 11 year old, she just turned 11 last week and she was saying, mommy, I've never had to grieve before. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm going to survive this. And I was so proud of her because that's how we all feel when we're grieving. We don't know if we're actually going to survive it. And it feels like we might not. And I don't think we talk about that enough.
No, we definitely don't. And as much as over the last five, 10 years, safe space and mental health and being able to talk about our feelings has come up more and more and is more commonplace. Not really. When you're grieving, it's a very internal situation. So much so that it could be almost toxic for people.
Well, it's interesting, right, because the natural response is we want to isolate and we want to do it alone. It's very scary for people to be witnessed in their vulnerability, which is a whole other Mental Wellness Wednesday because vulnerability, we're taught it's weak and it could mean that love goes away. But what I want us to all understand is that love is worth it. And when I rescued Black Beauty when I lived in Las Vegas, she was born on the Las Vegas Strip. And it was so funny, because I went into this rescue shelter and I said, I don't want a Chihuahua, but I'm looking for a small dog. And the guy's like, it's Beverly Hills Chihuahua. They're all Chihuahuas. But there's one that doesn't look like a Chihuahua that's only been up for adoption for 20 minutes. And this little tiny animal, I mean, she was like five pounds, maybe, fell in love with me right away. And if you were a man, she hated you. She was born on the Strip, abused.
Oh, no, she hated me. That dog hated me.
Well, it's because you are a male. And he did not trust men. And this dog, I mean, I just want us to all recognize, A, the love is worth it, and B, healed love is incredible. This dog went from. Because Gary knew Black Beauty, I had only had her less than a year, I think, at the time that you met her, or just around a year. And she went from being a vicious little thing. So scared. I used to say, she's just crying out for love, to being the sweetest, gentlest, most healed, loving animal. And I feel like I healed and grew up with her. And we just went through so many seasons together. And the love is worth it. But isolating when you're grieving isn't the answer. One of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make was putting her down and scheduling the day. I wanted her to go on her own or to really tell us, but she stopped eating. She had kidney failure. Mark and I were literally doing IV fluid treatments at home daily towards the end, and she was incontinent. So every day she'd wake up in her feces and we'd have to bathe her, scrub out her crate. Then she'd be good for the day. But when she stopped eating, we knew it was time. And she died, held in with all of us, with her. And we grieved together. And there's so much medicine and magic if you're brave enough to be witnessed and not alone, even though your head is going to say, don't let anybody see this, the grief won't kill you, and being witnessed in your grief won't kill you. And the grief won't last forever. And you've got to go all the way through it. As cliche as that is, the only way is through through. And so many shut down, lash out, or run away, and then they never get to actually fully grieve. And I say there are three different types of tears. Tears that are victim tears. Poor me. And my body won't let me get away with that. I am puffy and gnarly if I'm crying victim tears. And it's human, so I have those, too. But then there are grieving tears. And I say the practice of emotional healing is like the fountain of youth, because when you just get it out, you glow, and then there are tears of joy. So the tears of joy, I really want you to understand, even if you're grieving, those tears of joy can be with you every day. And you can cry them every day. I do. And the grief is worth it. And all day, every day. The past few days since Black Beauty passed, I'm expecting her to be around the corner. I'm feeling her, I'm seeing her, and there's no going back. So the waves, whether it's a grieving tears moment or a tears of joy moment, they come, and I'm equally crying both. And I welcome the tears. And I want you to embrace the grief makes you human, and the love is worth it. And it's not going to kill you. And don't be alone in it.
So again, we're talking to the world's leading love and emotional healing coach, Rebecca. Silence on a Mental wellness Wednesday. I never give you the heads up on what we're going to talk about, and I really, I legit sprung this on you. So thank you very much for showing your vulnerability today. So thank you so much for that. If you want to learn more about Rebecca and everything that she does, you can go to theunsilentwoman.com.
