In a Mental Wellness Wednesday segment on Mix 102.5, host Big Papa interviews love and emotional healing coach Rebeccah Silence. The conversation opens with a story about Grandma B mistakenly thinking she was blocked on Facebook, illustrating how social‑media misunderstandings can spark strong emotions. Rebeccah explains that taking others’ online actions personally and constantly comparing ourselves to others are two major sources of drama, especially on social platforms. She shares personal anecdotes: a past divorce where a coach reminded her not to personalize outcomes, and a recent experience of seeing cancer‑related memories on Facebook while noticing that several people had unfriended her over the years. She reframes unfriending as a mutual choice, viewing it as the other person’s loss rather than hers, and emphasizes the importance of not chasing people. Rebeccah urges listeners to face truth, accept that they can handle it, and stop pursuing relationships that aren’t reciprocated. She promotes her Own Your Voice Society, a community focused on learning not to take things personally, and encourages listeners to adopt these mindsets for emotional resilience.
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We're live and local. It's Mix 102.5 with Big Papa in the Morning on a Mental Wellness Wednesday, welcoming the world's leading love and emotional healing coach, the Unsilent Woman herself, Rebeccah Silence, unsilentwoman.com. Uh, Rebeccah, good morning, how are you?
Hey everybody, let's go! What we got?
Let's talk social media drama. Okay, um, I'm bringing it up because I got a phone call from Grandma B recently, and she normally is cool as the other side of the pillow, but she was flustered And she, but like, she almost made me come and pick her up and take her to somebody, to somebody's house. And, and because she thought somebody had blocked her on Facebook. Turned to find out it was just user error and she was using the app wrong. So no one had blocked her, but the emotions that came out from that, I forget that people can get really sucked in and have lots of drama when it comes to social media.
Right. And so there's two reasons. Because A, we're taking things so personally, and B, we're comparing constantly, whether we realize it or not, to, you know, other people and how much this person cares about that person but not me. Inside the Own Your Voice Society this month in March— Own Your Voice Society is my community, is my membership. The topic is taking things personally this month because it is so intense and so real. And one of the number one places we take it personally is social media.
Sure. Well, and a lot of people, um, and I've learned this, especially with doing this segment with you for so long, is sometimes just taking a step back and realizing whatever so-and-so is doing or has done isn't necessarily because of me or has anything to do with me. But because we're the main character of our own story, we forget that we're not the main character of somebody else's story.
Well, and what nobody else is going to tell you is they're just showing you how they are. I'll never forget when I first got divorced, my coach saying, it's not personal. I remember saying, like, if there had been more nookie, if I had been skinnier— I was 110 pounds, there was plenty of nookie— like, could have changed the outcome. And the coach said to me, watch, watch over the next 10, 20 years. It's not you. This will be the pattern that keeps playing out. So back to Grandma Bee and the social media devastation that she temporarily experienced. In this case, it was user error. But what about the cases where it wasn't and you actually find yourself realizing you've been unfriended? Just this morning At 6 AM, I'm on my phone, which I don't recommend early in the morning being on your phone like that every day, but I was. And I was looking at my Facebook memories, and there was a memory from the moment I had realized cancer had actually spread. And I went from thinking I had stage 1 cancer to it was the most aggressive melanoma, and now it's really intense. And I was reading through the comments, and there were several people that have evidently over the past 11 years unfriended me. How do I know? Because it says add friend. Now, almost all of them were still my friends. We're talking hundreds of comments. So if like, I think I counted like 4 people have unfriended me since that time, what am I going to make that mean about me? Well, I'm going to tell you what I make it mean, and then you feel free to adopt this if you like it as well. I make it mean I only have people close to me that actually want to be close to me. What a concept. If you don't want a relationship with me that's mutual, that's reciprocal, we both give equally, if you don't want me fully expressed and free and do what I do, then it isn't a loss if you fall away from my life. And if you powerfully chose that, I don't lose. I actually think about it. This is just full transparency. Like it's their loss, not mine. I'm a great person to have in your corner. I'm a great friend. If there's something about me that's triggering you, activating you, not a vibe, not a fit, I don't want to do harm in your life or inflict my will on you. And I don't chase people. Like, literally say it out loud with me right now: I don't chase people.
Once I learned that, once I learned not to chase people, things got so much easier in my life.
Well, for real. And I'm not saying it isn't actually sad or that there won't be moments of human grief. And you have to feel your way through letting go, facing the reality and not trying to change it. But the next most important thing I have to say to all of you is, first, we're stopping chasing people, okay? And second, it's not your loss, it's theirs. And third, you can handle the truth. Nobody else is going to tell you that either. You act like you can't handle the truth, and you always can, and you always do, and you land on your feet. I'd rather know if someone doesn't want to be in my life than think they do, and then behind my back there's all this crap going down. And right They don't actually want to be in my life. I'd rather know the truth. And I want you to get, you can handle the truth, whatever it is, social media or not, you can handle it. And anybody that would casually leave your life without even talking to you about it first, anybody that wouldn't even try to reinvent or get closer or make it better because they don't care enough, how can you think you just lost out if that's how they show up? That emotionally immature, that disconnected, And then sometimes, like with Grandma Bee, it wasn't actually true, right?
It is a Mental Wellness Wednesday. To learn more about Rebeccah and everything and just to get a wealth of information, you go to theunsilentwoman.com. The world's leading love and emotional healing coach, Rebeccah Silence, on a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Great stuff as always. Talk to you next week.
Love you all. Join Own Your Voice Society at unsilentwoman.com for a free trial and take the How to Not Take It Personally Masterclass on me. That's your homework. Bye, everyone.
