You Are Still Not Fulfilled but You Know That You Are Successful Already

The episode of the Healing is Possible Experience with me, your host, Rebecca Silence, where you absolutely get to learn how to get more fulfilled. It is about damn time that you learn how to actually be fulfilled. Fulfillment is about being fulfilled, not about doing something you haven't already done yet, or that you think you need to do, or that you feel feel guilty about that you've done that you wish would go away and then you would get fulfilled. Chances are you already know that you have achieved some level of success in your life and there's still a part of you that if you're really honest with yourself, isn't feeling fulfilled. So today's episode of the Healing Is Possible Experience is for you. I still want to call it the Hot seat because in 2020 and 2021, we were calling this the hot seat. This is the Healing is Possible Experience. And I am your host, Rebecca Silence. And what this show is about is about guiding you on a journey that takes you into more life. I want you to get the most out of your life. I want you to feel fulfilled. I want you to know who you are, where your life is going, why that's important to you, and to have no different doubt that you're going to do the damn thing that you want to do with your life. If you've got doubt, if you're not fulfilled, if you are hurting, suffering in any way, shape or form, even when you do know you've achieved some success and you do have some things that you're proud of. This Healing Is Possible mission and movement. And this show, the Healing Is Possible Experience is for you and I am honored to be your guide. What we're doing with the Healing Is possible experience in 2022 is every Tuesday, I go live 10am Moun. And whether you're watching this on demand or on a replay or with me live, you have an opportunity to work with me, either by watching this show or I'm also offering free coaching. So if you want to be a guest on the Healing as Possible Experience, join me and we will do some live coaching and change your life in front of everyone so that you can see the difference you make in the world. Your work will help others. With that being said, so let's get back to talking survival mode. Let's get back to talking about fulfillment and success and how you actually have more power than you may realize right here, right now, in this moment, on this day that you're watching this to change your life forever from here on out. So the truth is people are suffering, right? People that are highly successful people that are feeling like they're not a success at all. Suffering happens. Suffering is happening. Especially now we're in year three of a pandemic. Year three of what's happening. The life I had isn't here anymore. When am I going to get it back? The good news is you're not. You're not going to get it back. The good news is you get to take what was working and rebuild it or keep it and. And let the rest go. I think the reason that we're not fulfilled is because we're putting a lot of pressure on ourselves. I do think it's that simple. I think we're putting a lot, a lot, a lot of pressure on ourselves. I think that we are scared to risk letting go of what we know hasn't worked for us, doesn't work for us. I think we're waiting for what we know on a soul level, deep down. Doesn't work for some household, you know, it to start to work. And it's not going to. There. There is no freaking rule book for how to get fulfilled. So I'm here to give you the roadmap that worked for me in an effort to support you in designing your own roadmap. What I know is you get to be successful, you get to be fulfilled, and you get to love your freaking life. And if you don't, you are the hero. You are the one you've been waiting for. You are the one that has what it takes to be the person it takes to. To get to a place of fulfillment and joy and freedom and a sense of just knowing that your life matters and that you're doing something with your life that matters. That if you are here with me is what I think you want, and man, is it what you deserve. I. Last night was listening to. This is going to sound so funny and this is so vulnerable, but I am just going to share it with you anyway. I listened last night about three times to the church hymn Be Not Afraid. I used to be an altar girl. I grew up Catholic. I, you know, like I do was all, you know, the way in as much leadership as I could be even as a little girl in the church. And I. I loved carrying that candle. And I never. I never thought about it this way until last night and this morning. I've been carrying a candle for a long time. I've been holding the space for light for a long time. But I didn't think it mattered for a long time too. And I didn't think it made A difference for a long time, too. And I used to think that unless people saw my light or honored it or acknowledged it the way I needed to, it wasn't happening. But. But the deal is this. Our light, it only always matters. And when we're not believing that, when we're not experiencing that or seeing that, we're going to suffer. And I've been carrying light for a long time. The light in me has been radiating out of me, whether I wanted it to or not, for a long time. And what I'm going to say to you is, the same is true for you. I'm not in this. I just. I'm seeing it very clearly right now. So what I realized last night and this morning, looking at my history, I've been carrying light, being light, spreading light, wanting to be with other people in their light my whole life. There's nothing wrong with that. And I've also been about quality of life my whole life. My early career was in first a psych hospital, then an adult drug and alcohol rehab facility that was also an inpatient adult psych facility. And from there I went into nursing homes. But in all of these positions, from the psych hospital to the rehab facility to the nursing homes, my literal job that I was hired for, first as a music therapist, then as an activities director, was to enhance the quality of life of the people in front of me and to design programs to enhance their quality of life. And that's always what I've wanted to do, was to get the most out of my life by helping people get the most out of theirs. That. That's it. And it. It makes me cry thinking about listening to the lyrics of Be Not Afraid. And I don't know if you're religious or not. To me, I had, like, a spiritual experience last night. It's not so much about God for me, it's about connecting to divine guidance. And I think when we are connected to our own internal guidance system, and when we are connected to the guidance that is bigger than us, that is always available to us and only every single moment, we won't suffer. I really think it is that simple. And I think we can be successful with our families, with money, with our careers, with our health and wellness, with our bodies, with, you know, our community service and volunteerism, and with our families, and, you know, the list goes on and on and on and still not feel fulfilled. And I think that's because somewhere, somehow, whether it's on a whisper level or a louder, more obvious level, we've betrayed ourselves and Gone against our internal guidance system and our, our divine guidance that's again only always and always and always and always in every single freakin moment available to us. You know. And as I was listening to Be Not Afraid, I thought about I have survived childhood trauma that's unimaginable. I have survived being in a domestic violence marriage, having zero self worth, getting my kid and I out of that situation, working three jobs and finding coaches and therapists and seminars and a way to get my life how I wanted it. And then I built a business and then I got married again. And then I got cancer with a very, very, very small percent chance that I would. With severe, severe, severe physical limitations as a result of the cancer that I was told even if I didn't die from the cancer, these physical limitations were going to be there for the rest of my life. To going from being a coach in a small town to taking my mission and my message national. And now in 2022, I'm taking it global. Because healing is possible. Emotional healing is possible and manifest. Have there been more days than I can even count that I have felt crazy? That I have felt like something is wrong with me, that I have felt like nobody's going to get it or care? That I have heard the words that I also heard in my childhood playing in my head. Who do you think you are, Rebecca? Who do you think you are, Rebecca? Who do you think you are, Rebecca? And the deal is I am sharing this with you because I think on some level you can relate to my story. I don't want to just talk about me. I want to talk about me. To help you, connect to you, to who you really are, to what you really want, to the difference you want to make, to the ultimate, most fulfilled experience that you can have in your lifetime. I freaking want that for you. And these lyrics to be not afraid, they're so beautiful. And it talks about that you can, you know, stand in the most painful, excruciating circumstances and not be harmed and not be threatened. And I think that we suffer because we still feel threatened. We suffer because we're afraid to really fucking go for it, to really risk letting ourselves be who we really are, letting ourselves get as honest as we possibly can about how we want to live our lives, what we do want, what we don't want, what we want to keep, what it's time to let go of, whether it served us or not. And I think it's all served us, all of it. Cancer served me my first marriage, served me all of the Most painful, scary, terrifying, excruciatingly painful moments that I've been through in my life. And there's a lot of them. They served me not because they got me to this point and all that cliche bullshit. They served me because they demanded more of me, not demanded more for me to do those most painful, horrible, terrifying, whatever it is. The list goes on. Adjectives that I could describe. They made me decide to be better in the face of those circumstances in order to survive them and to get beyond surviving them. And I did that. So if you are sitting at home going, how much longer? How much longer do I have to feel this way? How much longer do I have to go through the day to day grind and feel like Groundhog Day and feel this experience of being in the hamster wheel and question is how hard I am working at my life even worth it? How much longer? I am going to say right here, right now, you can be done with all that. Right here, right now, you can make some new choices. It is about no longer being willing to betray yourself. And here is an assignment for you today. I want you to write down the top five ways you're betraying yourself in your life right here, right now. If you're really honest, it could be with the way you're eating. It could be with the way you're lying to the people closest to you about how okay you are or not. It could be tolerating a salary at work that you know doesn't honor the value you're bringing to the table. I don't care what it is. But what are the top five ways you're betraying yourself in your life right here, right now? And what are you going to do about it? That's the what are you going to do about it? That we should be talking about. And then the way you do something about it is you be different. You don't need it to be different, them to be different. You decide who you're going to be, that's different, and start with that. Now, is it easy? No. You're going to feel like a freak show, at least in my experience. And I think the moments that you feel like a freak show, those are the moments that you know you're actually doing your life right. Because when you feel like a freak show, all that means is that you don't want to settle anymore. You don't want to betray yourself anymore. You don't want to cave on you and your life and the people around you anymore, right? And you're not actually a freak. Show you're just in unchartered waters. You're just scared. You're just not used to being all of you yet, all of you the way you want to be. I say it a million times, but I'm going to say it again. Your life isn't happening for you. Your life isn't happening to you. Your life is just happening. And in the most difficult moments, those are the moments that are gold. Those are the moments that demand that you be more. That you rise to the occasion of your life, that you meet yourself on a level you haven't met yourself at, so you can be proud and fulfilled and go to sleep at night with no regrets, no resentment, no wondering what could have been. You know, a lot of people care about making a lot of money. I think that's great. I do, too. I want to make a lot of money, but I really care more about how did I live my life? How did I use my time? Time. That's the resource. That's the resource in your back pocket that you and only you get to determine how you're spending, how you're using, and how you're honoring it. How you spend your time, I believe, is a direct reflection of how you will become fulfilled and how you ultimately will achieve success. And then money's frosting and, you know, I think we have it backwards. We think we've got to do, do, do, do to get, get, get, get. And it's really about being that gets us our lives and gives us our lives, right? It's not about doing and getting. It's about being and giving. And when we give, we also receive. It's. It's. Giving is about reciprocity. Giving is about that, you know, karma, right? That universal law that what I give, I get back. And the thing is, if you're. If you're waiting to give, to see what you get back from other people or for your life again, it's backwards. It's bass acords. I want you to give so that you can get back to yourself. You give to receive more of you. You. You're it. You're divine. You're beautiful. You're amazing. And I was crying last night listening to Be Not Afraid. And I don't hear it as God being with you always. Maybe if that brings you comfort, that is a beautiful interpretation. But for me, my. My ability to connect to the best of me, the highest version of me and God and the divine and the guidance that's always available for me, I. I genuinely have arrived at a place in my life where I don't really try to figure anything out anymore. I just. I just ask for guidance from my internal guidance and from the divine moment to moment to moment to moment. And I know that guidance is all I need. One moment to another, one right next step for me to another. And I don't think anyone but me has access to my next right step. I have a ton of beautiful support. I have an army of support in my life that helps me connect to me. And that's what I do for my clients and for those that I care about. I help them connect back to their next right steps and their next right answers because they're the only ones that have it. And my story hopefully connects people to theirs. And my path and my roadmap and my curriculums and teachings help people connect to what would work for them. And that's the goal. If you're not fulfilled, you're betraying yourself somehow in that absolutely. Could be you asking other people to tell you what to do or how to live, telling you the wrong way or the right way to live your life. And there is no wrong way or right way to live your life. And life is always just being life. And then you get to decide the right way for you. And when you're not doing that, you're just going to feel like shit. Like it's that simple. No matter how much money you have in the bank, no matter how many goals you've slayed, I want you to slay the dragons. Instead of goals that are in the way of you feeling how you want to feel in your own lifetime. And today, I want to invite you to consider that that's the only success that matters, that you've slayed the dragons in the way of you feeling free and fantastic and getting the most out of your one life. We don't know what's next and we don't know when the clock is going to run out. And you know, I was thinking about as I was listening to Be Not Afraid, this gorgeous woman that was. I think I heard it. Not just Miss usa, but also Miss Universe and also Teen usa, I think all in the same year or something. She jumped off a building days ago. And I hear from people that are scared and suffering regularly and it breaks my heart. And I. I don't want us afraid to go for it, to really go for the lives we want and to give up before we've even tried. I want us to know that the best of ourselves is there in every moment to connect to our own guidance and guidance that is bigger than us in all moments, so we can make even more of a difference. And I think that's why we're here, to get the most out of our lives, to give as much of the best of ourselves as we possibly can and to risk really going for it, so we can serve humanity at the highest level and ourselves at the highest level. And we owe that to ourselves in this song. Be not afraid. I go before you always come follow me and I will give you rest. It's you with you and you can cross the barren desert but you shall not die of thirst. I mean, I know you've been through hell and I know it hurts and I know you're scared and I know you don't trust that there's life beyond survival mode in some moments, or maybe even it feels like all the time. But I want you to remember those are just moments. Those are just moments that have a beginning and a middle and an end. And at the end is an opportunity for a rebirth. And in every opportunity for a rebirth is more life for you to live and for you to rise to the occasion of and for you to embrace and lean into and surrender in. Not just the moments that feel good, not just the moments that are going your way or feel like they make sense. I want you to be even more of you in the moments that don't make sense, that hurt and know you've got you, always you, to follow you, to connect to you, to lean into you, to be whatever the moments in front of you are. And if you're watching, I'm so grateful because it means you care about your life and a new version of success in a new version of fulfillment. And it means that on some level you recognize that suffering isn't that interesting or useful anymore. And when we are suffering, it is always because we haven't been the version of ourselves yet we know we could be. And I know that might sound harsh because I know shit has happened and I know it might even be happening right now. I spoke to a woman last week who is in an abusive marriage with an addict spouse. And she was horrified because of her abusive reaction to her abusive husband and she actually stabbed him in like the arm. Superficially, it wasn't. It wasn't life threatening, but man, did she scare herself. And man, did that moment change her life forever. Because she's going to get help and no longer be responsible for allowing herself to dumb it down and not be the best of her surviving her way through that situation. She got herself into a better situation after that moment. And what I want. What I want. The reason I'm sharing all of this today is because I want you to know that it doesn't have to get worse before it gets better. And if you're sitting there questioning and wondering and hopeless, you know, it's just a decision away to start to actually live and rise to the occasion of your life. It doesn't have to be life threatening or critical or you blowing everything up to give yourself permission to rebuild life the way you want to actually experience it. And it's all about how we're experiencing life. And it's all about our emotions that have us feeling how we want to feel like we think. It's mindset and strategy and doing, and it's just fucking not. Mindset isn't enough. Strategy isn't enough. Right? And doing isn't enough to feel how you want to feel. It will produce results for you, no question. But I'm here to be the voice that says, but are you feeling how you want to feel? Are you feeling how you want to feel? Are you loving every drop, every breath, every moment that you are blessed to have while you still have it? And if you're not, all I'm here to say is you're not doing anything wrong. But you could be. Be you could be. It's not about doing that gets us fulfillment. And it isn't about once you have the money in the bank, once you have that body, once you have that relationship, once you have, you know, that ring on your finger, that you know, promotion at work, whatever it is, then you can start to know your worth and you can start to get your life. No. Start from where you are, with what you have and be not afraid. Because possibility exists for you. That is the truth. But it's going to require more of you. It's going to require a version of you that's no longer committed to your suffering. And I know this might sound harsh, but if you're suffering, you're committed to it. You're committed to creating evidence to support that somehow, some way, you don't deserve fulfillment. And of course you do. And not as long as, or until right here, right now, you deserve fulfillment. Right here, right now. You deserve to value and respect and honor yourself in your life. And only once you've done that can you be that for others. And I am here to say nothing is wrong with you. You are not crazy. You have done enough. And now you get to choose who you're going to be. But it's very scary because we don't know who's going to stick with us, who's going to stand by us or what potentially is going to fall away if we make these big risks and these big leaps and get this courageous and brave. But, I mean, I am an example of a woman who has been willing to risk anything and everything, a way that wasn't actually going to support and honor me living my life the most authentically that I possibly could. I'm a mess still. You know, to this day, I. I just don't suffer anymore. And I just want to pause and let that sink in. I get to be a mess. I get to make mistakes. I get to, you know, screw up left and right, and I do. But I don't suffer like I used to. And I used to suffer. I mean, I held on so tight for so long to the way I thought it should be, and then to the way I thought I should be, and then to the way I thought others should be, and none of it works. If you want fulfillment in a real difference in this lifetime where your light, no matter what else happens, you know, you were connected to and you radiated out into the world, regardless of how it was received, that is available. I remember in college, I really scared myself because I had a year, at least, where I would start crying, and I couldn't. I literally couldn't stop. If I started to cry, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. So I would hold on really tight and try not to start crying. And then I would start to cry, and it was literally out of control. And then I started to time it, and it was five hours, typically, where I would cry and I would cry and I would cry. And I am talking ugly crying. I am talking like the floodgates open, the dam burst, and there was nothing I could do about it, or so I thought. What I didn't understand was that there wasn't even a trauma happening right then. It was just. I had a lot of stuck emotion and pain that I had buried down that I didn't want to face, that I wanted to do anything but face. And my body was just like, rebecca, you've got some healing to do. Are you going to do it or not? And I did my best, but I still didn't trust myself or life or my emotions. So it took years and years and years and years and years and years and years for me and hundreds of thousands of dollars and tons of different coaches and mentors and a master's in counseling and therapists and bosses and failed relationships and great relationships and a couple of kids and cancer and, you know, I could go on and on and on to get to the place where I realized my emotions are absolutely never hurting me. And we think that there is a threat outside of us and we think that somehow, some way, we need to protect ourselves. What if we don't? What if you gave up self protection with me right now? I'd be so honored. I'd be so honored to be the space to be with you in breaking up with self protection and breaking up with survival mode and suffering for good. Because again, suffering is always the result of self protection and survival mode. Or said another way, suffering is always the result of not being able to be with an emotion that is a human emotion that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, that's really real for you in a moment that you just don't know how to be with. There's nothing to do with our emotions except be with them. Committed to life beyond that moment. What are we doing with our lives? Who do we want to be? We don't wake up and know who we are someday or spend tons of money with a coach or a therapist or a mentor to figure out who we are. It doesn't work like that. It's way, way, way easier to go, who do I want to be now? I've been who I was. I can see the beauty in that. I can see the innocence in that. I can see that was my best in the moment and know that some of it maybe still works, but some of it maybe doesn't. So I don't need to take it with me into who I'm being anymore. This is how you break up with survival and self protection. I'm walking you through it right now. Who you've been was the best you freaking had and honor the shit out of that. Who you are now moving forward, that's a choice you get to make. And you're the only one that can make that choice for you again. You're it. You're the one you've been waiting for and you're so beautiful and you're so deserving. But you don't need me to tell you that. You need to tell yourself that. And your emotions can't hurt you. And. And again, I've shared enough of my story in this episode. Whether you know me already or you're just meeting me now, you get the point. I. I have been through some shit and I don't wear that as a badge of honor. I just see it as my ultimate credibility statement. I'm not here going, my life's been easy. I'm an idealist that's saying, you can do it. Go, go, go. Rah, rah, rah. If I can do it, you can too. I am here saying, I fucking know what hell is. I know what terror is. I know what it is like to be ultimately more willing to kill myself than I am to live. And then I beat it. I beat the moments where I'd rather die than live so I could live. And so I'm here to say that you've got what it takes, but it is going to require more of you than you've been. It's going to require more of you choosing to be the version of yourself that you love, like respect, expect and want to be, regardless of circumstances. We need the circumstances to be better and we need our difficult, darker, harder emotions to not be there. And then we think somehow, some way, it's going to be okay for us to step into more. But that's, again, it's just backwards. The emotions are your guidance system. The emotions aren't there to hurt you or harm you or threaten you. And I know depression is real and I know anxiety is real. And I know life has been, in moments, a gut punch that's brought you to your knees. And I know you have heartbreak. And if you don't think you do, come on, let's stop lying, ok? We've all had heartbreak. And it's the heartbreak that has us stop being who we genuinely actually are. I didn't think about that. My mission was light, even as a little girl, until I was singing and listening to Not Afraid last night. I was a freaking altar girl carrying around a candle that was bigger than me. I've always been short. That candle was as big as me and I was carrying it step by step by step by step. And I was carrying it for the whole congregation, even as a little girl. And I'm not going to be fearful of owning that. I'm a lightworker and I don't want you to be fearful of your mission either. But if you're only going to own it, if it's going to be received, you're going to wait, you're going to hesitate, you're going to miss opportunities to be as successful as you could really be. And again, that success, that's because you are, all of you, and you don't have regrets and you feel fulfilled no matter how it shook up. And there are. There are moments that are messy. There are moments that you know you're going to be like, yeah, I'm not that proud of how I handled that, okay. Or I fell on my face and maybe you fell on your face and people were watching. Maybe you fell on your face and you're afraid people are going to find out. I don't, I don. Care what the scenarios are. I just want you to know all that's normal, all that's fine. None of that's a problem. And you're not a problem. It's survival mode and self protection that are a problem. Because when you're in survival mode trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again, you're looking for evidence that you're going to get hurt again. And then that fear of getting hurt again has you dim it down, dumb it down, wait, hesitate. And then we wonder why we're not fulfilled. I'm just very clear it is this simple. I'm also very clear it's not easy. I'm also very clear that it's a process in a journey and risky as hell. I want to invite you to take the risk. And it starts with just choosing what do I want to do in my life? And I hope you'll journal about that. So the first thing was I want you to write down the top five ways you are absolutely betraying yourself right now. And then I want you to write about what do I actually want to do with my life. And chances are the only reason you're betraying yourself is because you don't have a big enough mission statement for your life yet. That inspires and excites you and energizes and motivates you. When you know what you want to do with your life and it's genuinely what you want to do with your life. And again, that's really the only thing that matters as far as doing goes. You know, do the work to get intentional and then be the person that delivers on that intention. Like that's it again. Yeah, it is the simple, easy, not at all this simple. Absolutely right. So top of the ways you're betraying yourself, then what do you want to do with your life? Journal it. Another great exercise. If you don't actually want to get out a pen and paper and journal it, the only real goal is to find some way to get this truth out of your body and into energetically time and space and into the world. So if you don't want to write it down, you can voice text and listen. Later you can go on zoom and hit record and just talk to yourself and put that video away for a day that you are in your shit so deep that you can't see your way out of it. And especially when you're putting yourself out there big time, that's when we need support the most. Again, we don't need support to tell us what to do. We need support to, you know, support us in remembering what we said we were about and what we said was important and what we said we wanted to do with our lives. And then from there it's accountability about, okay, so who are you going to be? Because this is what you're up to. So either change what you're up to or up your game with who you're going to be like. That's the type of support that I crave and want and have been so blessed to experience and create for myself over the years. And it's available to you, too. So I don't care how you get your truth out of you in terms of getting really freaking honest about right here, right now. And don't think that this mission or what you want to do with your life, you know, already let yourself surprise yourself. Maybe it's different than you thought it would be. I've got someone on my team that's been in hospitality for decades and decades and decades and decades and decided that, you know what? I don't actually want to serve anybody ever again. I'll run a team that serves people, but I'm all done serving. She was shocked. Let yourself surprise yourself. Your life is fucking waiting for you to go after it and to live it and to get the most out of it. And it's got to be you. It's got to be you that delivers. So again, I don't care how you get your truth out, but get your truth out, right? What do you want to do with your life? And then step three, okay, step three is about what are the next three ways I would need to be to get closer to making my difference? What are your next three steps? Who are you going to be? What are you going to decide? And then who are you going to be? Because it's not about doing more to make it happen. The reason I want you to write down the top five ways you betray yourself first is because I want to make this as gross as I possibly can. I want to lower, lower the value of waiting for your life and dimming down your light and dumbing down your greatness because of whatever fears you're facing, as much as I possibly can from there. I don't care if it's as simple as I just want to feel good. That's what I want to do with my life, or I just want to be able to breathe again, or I just want to enjoy my family, or I just want to be the best I can for the team that I lead, or I, you know, have a big dream. And I just am afraid I don't have what it takes. I'm not the person that can do it. All that fear, it is real. But again, be not afraid. You can. You can face it. And you have already faced so much. And you have already faced, conquered, and moved through so much. You're just either frozen or fighting or running from this possibility of getting the most out of your life. If there is any part of you ever that's still suffering or unfulfilled, regardless of how successful on paper, you already are. And I don't want to be successful on paper. I want to be successful with me at night when I go to sleep, and with me when I wake up in the morning. And I was talking to Mark this morning, my husband, and we're a mess. We're a shit show sometimes, but we want everything for each other, and we demand more of each other and more of ourselves in the most difficult and painful moments. And that is why we work. And it is so funny because we've both never committed fully to anybody before each other, but we before each other, we committed to ourselves first, and that was what that allowed us to commit to each other. And, you know, I don't want to be morbid, but I do. I do want you to go to bed at night knowing that whatever happens, you did this damn thing called your life in a way that you can be proud of. And I don't want you to give up on yourself or on life or on hope or on possibility. And we get addicted to our suffering. And that's easy. It sucks, but it's easy. And we don't have to. And I know people have done things and said things, and life is, you know, and how it was. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve more. And the only way to get more is to be. Be more in your emotions. They're just emotions. Anger doesn't hurt anybody unless you won't be with your healthy anger and you lash out. Sadness doesn't hurt anybody. And you will eventually stop crying like I did. But then I'm not afraid to cry when I need to. You should see me last night in my bed, in my pajamas, just listening on my phone to this song, even Getting ready this morning, I listened to it again and I just, I let myself cry because it was beautiful. And we can have tears that aren't always pain too. Like let yourself cry. It's energy and trauma and stuck literally releasing. You can do that through sweat, you can do it through tears. Anger never hurt anybody. Violence does. Lashing out does. That's not anger. There's a lot to be angry about right now in the world. People betraying themselves and each other left and right. That is not cool or okay. And let's get angry or it's not going to change. But let's not take our anger out on each other and be sad as you let go of what was to make room for more. That's how you do it. And yeah, I get it's scary, but just keep going. One foot in front of the other and shake it out and breathe it out so that you can experience joy. That is your right. No matter how messy you've been, no matter how messy it is right now, no matter how afraid you are, you get to have joy. Not until and unless right now. And then you get to be excited about life and possibility. But we don't want to get excited because what if it doesn't work out? Well, if you don't get excited, it won't work out. Get excited about your life because if you won't get excited, it won't work out. Whatever it is that you want to work out, it just won't. When you're willing to face and be with those darker emotions of anger, grief and fear, only then do you get joy and excitement. And only then do you actually get fulfillment. And you don't need to suffer and you don't need to commit to stuck and you don't need to protect yourself anymore. You're a goddamn adult that has the ability to rise to the occasion of your life. And I want that for you. And if you're here, you want that too. You, the best of you, the highest, wisest, most gorgeous version of you is always there, always with you. And like Be Not Afraid says, you can stand before the powers of hell and still be by your side and know that you're more powerful. That's a hard truth. That is a universal truth that I would love for you to consider that whatever hell you feel like you're faced, you don't have to be in it. You can be with it as the more powerful force. That's how, that's how you break up with suffering and survival and self protection. Getting nothing is Bigger or more powerful or scarier or hairier or uglier or whatever it is, then your power in you has to beat it. And we're not trying to do a better than when I say beat it. I'm just saying, like, you turn the lights on, the big shadow on the wall suddenly looks like a little tiny mouse. That wasn't so scary. We got a face and touch the thing we don't think we can touch. We got to feel it and then feel the power in ourselves to get to the other side. And there is life on the other side of survival and self. And you get to be the person that experiences that by getting really unwilling to keep betraying yourself on any level. And from there getting super intentional about who you want to be in this life you have. And then from there, you know, you look at, okay, what's next? How do I align my beingness with my intentions for my life? It is this simple. It does require support. I've had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women go through my women's retreats over the years. We do in June of this year have a all gender retreat coming and happening for the first time ever, which I'm very excited about. The Healing is Possible weekend for all genders in June. We I will get dates up soon. It will be in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I can't wait. But historically, the dozens and dozens of retreats I've done with my company, inspired results have been for women. And I get a lot of like, oh my gosh, that was magic, but it's not actually real. I can't have that in my life. That experience of love and sacred support and just safety and security that's created there. And the thing is, it's not magic. And I'm not like doing Kumbaya, my retreats. We are facing the dark. We are leaning into the dark. And we do that so we can get more free. Every moment is an opportunity for you to be more free, be more free, be more free, be more free. Every single moment is an opportunity for you to be more free and more alive. But we just aren't taught that. We aren't modeled that we think I can't have that, or who am I to think I can have that when so many people in the world are suffering? But here's the thing. If you won't be that when so many people are suffering, how do the people that are suffering know it's possible for them? We got to let go of guilt too. And that's another Oprah for Another day. But the point is, when I'm talking to these women that had such a profound, life changing, magical experience with me for three days in a weekend and then they go home and they're right back where they started. It's because they weren't committed to keeping it going for themselves. But we can. So I've got a program for you in February, March and April of this year that offers this support. Now, whether you choose to hire me, work with me, join my community or not, I hope that you took some gold for yourself out of this broadcast. I hope if you want some coaching that you want to do with me live on the healing as possible experience on a Tuesday sometime this year, you will reach out to me. I hope if you have a message that you feel is so important, that is your life purpose, work that you want to share with as many people as possible, you reach out to me so I can see if you are a good fit and interview you on this show. I want to help you get the most out of your life and make your difference fully however I can. But I do have a program that is the best of everything I have got that I can give you for 12 straight weeks. February, March and April called the Difference Makers that starts this week will be accepting enrollments and I will be doing interviews through next Monday. I'm not sure exactly what that date is. I think it's February 6th. So we're going to close enrollment for the difference makers February 6th. We have tons of time to get you on a 30 minute call with me to talk about whether or not the program is a good fit for you, whether or not you're a good fit for the program. But I just, I want to say to you if you've liked what you've heard today or if any of this has resonated with you or if you're going, this is awesome, but how the actual do I get there do this Sounds great, but Jesus, that's a lot, right? If you're there at all, just get on a free call with me and we'll talk about it. The Difference Makers offers you daily one on one support with me. It offers you monthly intensive coaching with me and it offers you group training and group coaching weekly along with a partner assignment every week for you to take into any relationship in your life. We're not partnering just with other people in the different Difference Makers. We're partnering with the people in our lives and learning how to do that in a new way from a space of leadership as the best of you risking how it goes. And then we have support to talk about how it went to help you get up when you fall down, dust yourself off, shake off all the fear, go through the grief, whatever it is, go through the anger so that you can have joy and excitement and make your difference. But 12 weeks, three months, kick ass program. Best of everything, I've got fun, Fantastic, free. We make healing light and fun. We make life light and fun because we're committed to being the light and the best of ourselves, moment to moment, no matter what happened. And we're committed to officially fucking breaking up with and moving past self protection and survival mode because there's no benefit to self protection and survival mode anymore if you've gotten this far. Unless you just want to suffer. And I don't think we do. I just think we suffer because we don't know what else to do. And I've got it. I've got a roadmap for you. Not that my way is the way, but my way helps you create your roadmap, which is the point. There is a way you want to live your life, there is a way you want to experience life and there is a difference that you want to make. And I've got the difference makers February through April 2022 and. And I want to be here for you. And if you're watching this replay, you know, after February of 2022, just go to rebeccasilence.com and see what I'm up to now. Because I'm always up to something and all I want to do is get the most out of my life by helping people get the most out of theirs. And I'm so grateful to be so clear on that. And if you're not clear on what you're wanting, we'll get you there. And it just starts with commitment to life and to fully living it. And what I know for sure is there's nothing to be afraid of that actually is more powerful than you are. You can be afraid all you want, you can be afraid and with that truth, moment to moment, as long as that's your truth. But just know you're probably only afraid because you're betraying yourself and forgetting that nothing out there matters more or is as important or is as powerful as you and the best of you that's always there in running the show and that has access to divine guidance. And you know, all I know for sure is that your life is worth it and that you're worth it and that the people in your life need you healed so you can make your difference. You get to make your difference. We need you actually to make your difference. And we need you knowing who you are and messy or not risking being all of who you are, to show other people that that's possible for them too. We wait for evidence that it's going to be okay, and it already is okay, and you are okay and life is okay. And there are sticky moments, there are painful moments, but those are the ones I think that matter the most. Because when life is going our way, it is easy to be great. It is easy to be who we said we were going to be. It is easy to be the best of us when it is easy. But what about when it sucks? I had to spend last Saturday in the emergency room. I had this weird cramp in my leg. It wasn't going away. And my naturopath thought it potentially was a blood clot. Small chance, but just in case, we don't want to mess with that. Well, I've been through so much physically, and I'm like another freaking issue. And my internal guidance was saying to me, you're fine, you're fine. It's not a blood clot. But I thought, why risk it? You know, let me be the best of me, get it checked out. Shaky, upset, confronted, triggered all that was happening. Just handle it and go. And rule out this so you don't have to be paralyzed or worried or beating yourself up or any of that. Anxious. I was fine, but I did it, I dealt with it. And as the best of me and the best of me, that day wasn't necessarily, you know, the best of me right now or tomorrow. And the thing about being the best of you is it's just your best in the moment. It's not like you've got to be better than you actually are. I'm just saying be the best of you in terms of. Be the best that you're capable of being. Come from light, come from love, come from possibility, and be your best. And that's it. And then tomorrow it might look different, you know? And there have been days when I was depressed and suicidal that the best I could do was breathe. There were days that the best I could do was feed my kid. There were days that the best I could do was just get through a workday. But then, you know, it evolved and it changed. And the best of you will evolve and change, and you're the only one that can gauge honestly with yourself. Are you letting yourself off the hook? Are you betraying yourself? Are you settling? Are you caving Are you dumbing it down? Are you dimming your light? You know, the list goes on. But I want you really freaking honest with you today, this week, this month, I want you with me in the difference makers community. It is new. My coaching clientele and community that I have been working with for 15 years don't quite know what the heck I am about to do and deliver. I am really excited about it. I think it is the best I have ever been able to offer people because it is ongoing support to help them keep. Keep what they've learned they could have in terms of life experience long term. We don't get to keep it unless we nurture it. We don't get to keep it unless we believe that we can. We don't get to keep it unless we're healing with community and leading and living in a community that gets it too. So that's what the difference makers is. And I really hope that you'll message me to set up a discovery call this week to talk about you and the program and how it can support you in making your difference in the world. And again, even if this isn't calling to you, I just want to hear what you got from this broadcast today. This is me putting me on the line for you, for me, for life, for humanity. So I would love to hear what you get. What are your takeaways even what are your questions or concerns? Because you are not alone. I am here. But more importantly, I want you to experience what it is like for you, to have you. And for me it required being stuck in a cancer bed, dying and battling suicidal ideation, battling my body breaking down, battling being a brand new mom because I was pregnant when I got diagnosed, diagnosed, had the baby and I had a baby I couldn't even hold or take care of. I missed that whole first year and I had to. I had to be with that. I couldn't change it. And I just. I just don't want it to be as hard for you as it was for me. I didn't know it didn't have to be so hard. And I didn't know that I wasn't crazy and that nothing was wrong with me. And I don't want it to require a crisis to wake you up to getting the most out of your life. It doesn't have to be a crisis. And then you decide it can just be enough. Enough. Surviving enough, protecting myself from the pain of life and being human enough. It's time to live. It's time to live fully now, not later, now, in the world does need you healed so that you can make your difference. The healing is possible. Experience is here for you Every Tuesday live 10am Mountain. And then you can access it in the Healing as Possible Facebook group or on my Rebecca Silence YouTube channel. And you can visit RebeccaSilence.com anytime you want to see what I'm up to. There's free goodies there. There's courses there. But there's more. There's more for you. There's more of you that we need. There's more life for you to live and experience. And you're the one. You're it that can make it happen. No one can do it for you. So what I like to say is the darkness is real, but so is the light in you. And the mission is healing. And the cure is self responsibility. And I'm Rebecca Silence here to tell you that healing is possible for you, for me, for us, for the world. And there's so much tragedy and there's so much heartache and there's so much pain and it's all real. But it doesn't have to win and it doesn't have to run the show. And when we get that and create that for ourselves, that is the success that I'm talking about. That is the success that you deserve. That I deserve. That we all deserve. And not everybody is going to get it. And that's okay. But if you're still here watching, you do get it. So let's go make some magic happen. Healing is possible. And it starts with you. Thank you for watching. I love you and I can't wait to see you soon in whatever capacity that looks like one more time. Healing is possible. Say it out loud with me. Healing is possible. Possible. And your life is waiting. Talk to you soon.