In a Mental Wellness Wednesday segment on Mix 102.5, host Speaker A interviews Rebeccah Silence, a self‑described love and emotional healing coach, about the often‑overlooked transition that occurs when college‑aged children return home for the summer. Rebeccah frames the situation as a shift from a parent‑child power dynamic to an adult‑adult relationship, emphasizing that parents must stop “adulting” in a way that feels unattractive and instead create space for mutual respect. She proposes a concrete challenge for families: use the summer to practice long‑term adult‑to‑adult connections through intentional listening, questioning, and clear agreements (e.g., set dinner nights, sleep‑in times, work schedules). The conversation outlines how parents can initiate supportive dialogues, what specific requests a college graduate might make (e.g., freedom after 10 am, weekly family dinner), and why establishing these agreements is essential for both parties to feel held, safe, and respected. Rebeccah also highlights that the same parent‑child dynamic can persist into later adulthood, underscoring the broader relevance of redefining family roles. The segment blends humor, personal anecdotes, and practical coaching tips to guide families through this seasonal transition.
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We're live and local. It's Mix 102.5 on a Mental Wellness Wednesday. Uh, we would like to welcome the world's leading love and emotional healing coach. She is theunsilentwoman.com. She is Rebeccah Silence. Rebeccah, good morning.
Well, hello. Thank you for the dramatic introduction.
I, yeah, you know what? Every once in a while you just got, you gotta, gotta build up the suspense. You know what I'm saying? So this is the time of the year when college lets out for the summer and college graduations happen, and a lot of college-age, uh, people are going back and living at their parents' house.
Yeah.
And the— just the change in dynamic, because you went from under the thumb to being able to do whatever you wanted to do, and then coming back and trying to find You know, you know, are you under the thumb back again, or is it— does it change? Like, it's a whole— it's, it's almost like a, like a power dynamic struggle. Can we talk about that a little bit?
Yes. So we've talked about on this show multiple times over the years that so often adults don't make look adulting very attractive, right? It's stressful, it's pressure, and that's because we're all dumpster fires, Rebeccah Silence.
That's all.
I mean, that's one way of looking at it, but it's also— that's just what we're shown, right? And then with parenting, there is a transition that doesn't get talked about enough, going from a parent-child dynamic to an adult-adult dynamic. So what I want for your family, if you choose to accept my challenge, is for you to make this the summer of learning how to have a long-term adult relationship with your college grad that is temporarily under your roof. And there is gonna be a time, there is gonna be a season where you wish you had them under your roof again, where you wish you had the amount of opportunity for quality time that you could have this summer if this is what's going on with you. So how do you break through and how do you transition from parent-child to adult, adult. It really is about more listening, more questions. And here's the good news about it: the pressure's off. Your kid is baked. You, you did it. They're now grown.
I don't necessarily know that I would use that particular—
well, I know, here's me in Boulder, Colorado using that terminology.
They are now an adult.
We mean like a baked cookie, like it's done, you did your job. Not baked like they're stoned out of their minds, even if that might be the case. But what I'm saying is your job is done. Get to know your kid. There are so many families— I have long-term clients, clients that come in for a season— and they are so upset that their family of origin still treats them like a little kid, right? And they're in their 50s, right? For example. So get to know who your child is. Beyond who you know them to be. Have conversations about what do you need to feel really supported and respected while you're home this summer? What a question to ask your college grad. I want you to feel held. I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel supported. How can I be the best support to you while you're home this summer? What does it look like? What are you wanting?
So that's awesome if the parents, you know, kickstart the conversation, but what if the parents don't? And, you know, I say the child, but, you know, the college person.
Yeah.
If feels like they're being treated like a child, how can they get— I don't want to say get their parents to hear them, but really just kind of help them understand the point of view.
I love this. Okay, so we've talked about from the parent's perspective, my ideal challenge and coaching for you for conversations. Now, if you are the college grad, you let your parent know, I love you, I appreciate you, I'm so excited to come home this summer, and here's what I need. I don't wanna be woken up before 10:00 AM. I will be working, and I want to know that we have dinner once a week, but that it's okay if the rest of the nights I do what I want and do my own thing. I'm going to be safe. I'm going to be responsible. And I want dinner with you once a week, but it's really important to me this summer that I have freedom. And I don't want that to be a problem. Is it going to be a problem?
I think that, um, having, uh, being on the same page as far as expectations go is huge.
I call it agreements. You've got to have agreements, right? Like if we're agreeing to dinner once a week. And if we're agreeing to, this is my schedule, like, for work, and then the rest of it I'm gonna come and go, and that's not a surprise, and it's not me abandoning you, it's not me not caring about you, it's me being in my early 20s, alive and free, and preparing myself for my next season. It's agreements. Get on the same page and agree. But the number one agreement is we need to transition you into an adult-adult relationship because the parent-child dynamics won't work. And again, I have clients in their 40s, in their 50s, in their 60s, and their parents are still treating them like children, and they still feel like a child around their parents. And oh my God, stop the freaking madness. That is no way to live.
Well, I just— for the record, every time I'm out in public with my mother, Grandma B, she puts me up for adoption.
So there's that.
It's a Mental Wellness Wednesday. She is the, uh, world's leading love and emotional healing coach, Rebeccah Silence. All everything Rebeccah Silence available online right now, theunsilentwoman.com.
