What is the mystery behind successfully quitting an addiction?

Michael Mann.

Hello. So yeah, how, how, yeah, Doha is amazing. I mean, I left Europe, it was -1 degrees, it was like weather was like, oh my goodness. And then because I'm temporarily, uh, going from London to Holland, Holland, London, Belgium, and, uh, and then all of a sudden you, you, you have a hoodie and another hoodie, and then you arrive in Doha and you get a hoodie out, hoodie out. Because the weather is very warm here. It's a personal business here that I'm taking care of. Very positive business. And it's been quite a journey so far. So yeah, but each year I let you know like, hey man, I'm so grateful, grateful, grateful for what happened that specific day, February 8th in 2013, 14, 14. Yeah, was, um, yeah, it was amazing, was amazing. So I'm super grateful for that.

Unbelievable. Let me share this with the audience and speak to the Instagram because I'm going to turn off the Instagram in a couple seconds. Malta, no Instagram, YouTube. Ricardo Mendoza. So Rene, uh, I'm going to promise the audience that we're going to share what happened uh, after more than 30 years, I believe, of a big challenge that you have with a very, very strong addiction, uh, but most of all in the 11 last years that you are a free man. And we, we will try to connect this as best as you can to the body language, to the change habit, because I think people, they really want about to know about this and, um, and personal transformation, because I'm very curious as well, because 11 years You are a big example, not only for the man you are, but for the decision you take in that day, in the conversation we have. And, uh, people, they probably need to know, need to at least start to know the story, what happened 11 years ago. And then you go to the turning point as well, to the, the power of the body language. You go step by step. So in your version, because I remember arriving to the, to the Brussels in Belgium was my first speaking in Belgium. I left Portugal in the morning and then I arrived there. It was really freezing. Same sensation as you today in Qatar, but only reverse. And it was an unbelievable presentation in that hotel. And you stay until the end. And you come, I remember at the door, you come by the side and you, Ricardo, can I ask you something? And then we start to talk. And then I remember you share with me that you have a big challenge in your health and you want to know if I can help you on a decision that you need to take to turn around some challenge, some addiction that you have. So share from your side what, what, what you remember from 11 years. 11 years, brother, it's crazy.

It's crazy how it, how it went. So how did it start? In fact, I was bullied in school like, like crazy. And when you, when you get bullied in school, you want to prove yourself to the world. And one of the things young people do, they smoke or they do drugs or they do something that, uh, so they get more attention. And in my case, it was smoking, and I smoked for more than 30 years. And, uh, but I had issues with going up the stairs. I had to cough in the morning. The first thing I did, cough. The first thing I did, put a cigarette in my mouth. You know, all of these things. And, uh, it was going from, from bad to worse to, you know, very bad. And I really had to change something. So I went for the first time to, to Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within with the firewalk and all these things. And it was an amazing experience. The first minute I came in that room, I was like, what the heck is wrong with all these people? They're jumping and dancing and singing. And I mean, you know how it goes, right? And but after an hour, I was as crazy as everybody else. And it was an amazing experience.. And then they had the Yes group that was representing, like, to keep that momentum high all over Belgium and England. And I was invited to come to Brussels where I met you, and then I shared with you my issues. And I do know that— I think I remember it well— I shared some of my story about the Armed Forces and stuff, and then Um, what else? Um, I think you asked me how long. So you said to me, can I ask you a personal question? And I said yes. He says, how long have you been smoking? And I said, plus 30 whatever years. And you were like, what? And I said, how do you know? Because that day I didn't smoke. Because when you among trainers and coaches and, and you know, when people smell your smoke, your credit goes down. And in those days, that was my way of thinking, that is. And then you said, well, I can see it at your skin. I can see it in your, you know, your movements. And so I don't know what you just exactly said, but something you could recognize it. And then you asked me a question like, how long have you been trying to quit? And I said, how do you freaking know? Because that was true. I was starting to— I was trying to quit already 6 months. And I thought like, hey man, I think the universe— 6 months already I was trying to quit, but I couldn't quit. And I think I said to you something in the area of, I think God has a different plan for me. I probably will be a smoker for the rest of my days. And you answered to that like, that's the biggest BS I ever heard in my entire life. So I remember that very well.

Let me recap here a bit, and then I'm going to turn off the, the, the Instagram. So yeah, Listen, everyone, listen to this. This guy is a very smart guy. He's on human development, very well trained, and he decided to quit smoking. For more than 30 years he's smoking, and now he's trying to quit for 6 months. He come to me and I see several patterns, not only the smiling, the, the eyes, the expression, the skin, and I challenge him, what happened in your life? So I start to increase the pain on this guy that I know that he wants to improve his life. So this is what happened. First of all, Rene already shared with you guys the number one trigger for him to smoking, and he did share with me in the same time. He needs significant, uh, at that time he went to school and wants to look great to the other guys. So I, I picked that the tip and I use her. So I show how much significance he can be in the future, good significance, if he take the really decision. Because he told me that he take the decision, but he did not. He needs something stronger. So I start to create a compelling future without smoking. So significance without smoking to disappear the other significance, to be as good as the others that are smoking. And we started right there. And, and we're gonna go step by step. I think I have a very good question here for you because even I don't know this and I, I want to know this. I'm very curious. What was your relationship with smoking like before you decide to quit?

I did it unconsciously. It was a habit. It was a, it It was a habit in the sense of you got nervous, you get nervous. What do you do? You put a cigarette in your mouth because it calms you down. You're in like having a beer or a glass of champagne or whatever, because in those days I used to drink alcohol too. And today more than ever it's— but the thing is, once you start to drink something, then you automatically you smoke. Another reason is that all of my friends were smokers, uh, so it was completely normal you smoked. And, um, for me, smoking was like a normal thing. It was like my reality. And, uh, until I started having these medical issues— not really, I didn't really have medical issues, but I started like feeling things like, uh-uh, if I continue, this is going to go completely wrong. And that was for me, I mean, I think the universe or God or whoever you want to name it, send me to the Yes Group in Brussels to have that talk with you. That there's no other reason. I mean, and coincidence doesn't exist. We all know that, right? So the reason I ended up in Brussels with you is certainly not a coincidence.

Not a coincidence, brother, especially because it was a very nice evening. We have a long chat. We stay until long hours. It was my first time in, not in Brussels, but speaking in Belgium was my first international speaking in Belgium 11 years ago. Wow, so fast. And then on this turning point, it's very easy if the people know the human needs from Tony Robbins. I teach this in a different level. I call it the paradox of the grace, human graces. And then you already shared the second trigger, like Certainty need. So first you started by significance and then you had certainty, security. You can control your life because this is part of my life. This gives me certainty. So it's very hard when you get two needs, strong needs attached within one addiction. If you have three, you are screwed up. So I figured out in the conversation, I remember that I figured out you are a very good remember, very good memory on this. So this was the turning point. So In Rene's story, if you can pick it, he's sharing with us what happened in that season, and, um, he's using this, probably making transformation in his clients.

I use this.

So listen pretty well these turning points until we go to the body language, because he's giving everything that we need to understand how to change any addiction, any addiction. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna jump to you to a second question here. How was your first day Before that, what you decide on that conversation with me that made you decide to change? What was this decision? What was the point?

Yeah, you asked me, I shared with you my story about the armed forces and I have a history in the forces. I was 7 years in the armed forces and you asked me something in the area of, yeah, can you handle weapons? Can you handle people? And I said, uh, yeah, of course. I mean, and he says, okay, I have a very special opportunity for you. Uh, there's only 8 people on the planet who have that opportunity. Today we are 7, and, um, if you want to, you could be number 8, uh, because we are looking for somebody like you. And I remember me saying, yeah, what is it? What do you have? Because, you know, you're sharing something, but I want to know what it is. And then you said, I can't tell you because it's for nonsmokers only. And that was for me the big turning point. I was like, what the heck? He has something. I can feel it in my bones. It is special. It is something out of the normal. And but then you were triggering me like it's for nonsmokers only. I was like, I was so nervous that night. I went home smoking like a chimney. I was so nervous. Because I knew you had something. And for me, that was a trigger to take the decision later on to really quit because I wanted to know what you had. And I remember me calling you on February 8th. I called you and I said, hey, man, just want to let you know. And you went like, hey, brother, how you doing, brother? I said, stop that brother thing, man. I just want to let you know I quit smoking. And then you said, I remember that super well. I don't believe you. And I was like, what? Because when I take a decision, there's no way back. So I took that decision, and that was the beginning of an amazing journey. The beginning was I went through hell. Honestly, I went through hell. That's what it is. But thank God I did, because today I'm so grateful for you, for that day. But the thing relating to body language then is that body language is based on how you feel. And when you are nervous, you don't feel well, but then you smoke to get to calm yourself down, but you're making things worse, right? It's like speakers drinking alcohol before they go on stage because they have to calm themselves down. It's the worst thing you can do, right? We meditate, we, you know, we ask for guidance. And but what happened is that my body language changed tremendously when I stopped smoking, when I really went for that healthy lifestyle, because body language is based on how you feel. And what changed tremendously is that I started attracting the right people and pushing the wrong people away from me just by that state and being a nonsmoker. That's why I encourage everybody who wants to quit smoking, please, please, please. I can only say freaking do it. Yeah.

Wow. That's a brilliant, brilliant sharing. I'm gonna share with you what I did. You, because you start to activate my memory. Uh, I know this is a process. I read this in a book long years because you know me, I'm not a coach, I'm not a presenter. I mix all the strategies to make sure I, I reach the results that people desire, even the big dreams that they don't believe that they will desire. Is what I do. So I knew that you want more. You want to, you want to get in, in this team. You want to get in, in this environment. You love Tony Robbins. So I challenge you. Like, how do we say this in English? It's like, it is the power of the variable, variable reward. So it's like, like when you go to the casino and you keep going even if you know that you're gonna lose money. So this is what I do to you. I do a seduction game. So I tell you, oh, I'm not pretty sure if I believe in you. So I pull by your balls, your guts, your courage. Um, and maybe this is not for you because this is only for people that are no smokers, healthy people. So in that moment you feel really pain. However, at the same time, really desire. So the pain of dropping smoking was not as bigger than the pain I'm going to get out of this. No fucking shit, I'm on it. I need to know more. Why this guy share this with me? So I create a new strong point on you, and you hold it. And then you do the strongest part, is take the really decision. Because Tony Robbins says this to everyone: decision makes the shape of your destiny. When you take the decision, your destiny is shaping for you. So the first one, you, you, you shared with the guys what was before smoking. The second, um, what was the trigger for, for, for the decision and how, how was the first day? Because the people that I shared to not smoke again, you know, the people that I, that I work with, they never touch the smoke again. Never. And just like at this point, 10 minutes, I can do it. However, The first day and the first week, they all share that there is a lot of different emotions. And before I go to the body language, what was the emotions? Well, sharing 1-2 minutes, how was the first day for you, brother?

It was hell. It was real hell. I mean, but I created a pattern of whenever I wanted to have a smoke I drank a glass of water. So a full glass of water in one go. And we have to drink water anyway, right? Water is— it has to become a lifestyle, drinking water daily. And each time I wanted to smoke a cigarette, I took a glass of water, glass of water, and it helped tremendously. And I know it takes about 6 to 8 weeks to, to change a habit. But one thing I didn't share yet is another thing that I was pretty annoyed with, with you. If you allow me saying this, is that you said you had something very special for me. And when I called you and you said— I said, I quit smoking. You said, I don't believe you. And I said, you know what, when I take a decision, there's no way back. That was the first thing. But the second thing is that I was going to ask you, what do you have? And you did put the phone down. You didn't answer my question. And it took you 14 freaking days to send me that email. I was like, you know what, he's playing with me, forget about him. And, uh, and 14 days later that email came in, application, uh, Tony Robbins, etc., etc. And for me, that was a very— that was a dream come true. And that's what I want to share as well, is that if you quit smoking, it's not just a thought of quitting smoking or having that healthy lifestyle. It's also having that goal why you stop smoking or why you stop a certain habit and have that goal. It can be your children. It can be like in my case, it was with Tony Robbins and with you, but it can be your children, can be your family. It could be, it could be anything, but make sure it is something big enough that makes you move to do it and to take that decision and to continue doing it. For sure. And then the, the fact that you held me, like, you didn't tell me what it was, I was so— I'm gonna keep it nice and, and beautiful here, I'm not going to use certain words, but I was pretty—

um, so sharing the, the true story on this is unbelievable because you keep remembering. So what, what we make in our relationship there I knew that if you were not strong enough to listen my words, you'll not be strong enough to listen yourself. So on the challenge, you keep your mind in a bigger thing, in something better. You are curious, you are more younger than ever in your strength, inner strength. So this is what you really keep going, you holding on it. And actually, you are at this point one of the reference in Europe on the body language. And you talk about drinking one glass of water. Uh, what is amazing, I recommend to everyone because the, the body will work better when you drink, you break your state. So I, I will, I will jump the conversation to the power of body language in, in changing people's lives because you are one of the number ones in the world on this. And I will take these advances to talk with you. So how, how do you believe body language can influence an addiction like smoking?

Um, body language is based on how you feel, and you have to realize that 93% of all communication is nonverbal. So I ask people sometimes, how many of you— like, in rooms, um, I was all over the planet last time. I was in Tehran in Iran again. I was in Australia. And I asked the question, how many of you pay attention to your body language when you speak to somebody? And then most of the people say, oh, I don't know, not really. I said, second question, how many of you pay attention to your tonality when you speak to somebody? And I go like, huh? I said, because those two together, 55% is body language, 38% is tonality, together is 93% of all communication. Is nonverbal. People have discussions with me where I don't think it's 93, I think it's only 80. The biggest part of conversations are nonverbal, okay? No matter what percentage you want to put on, but it is nonverbal— tonality and body language. And when you are in a— to come back to the smoking part— when you are not at your full potential because of smoking or alcohol or drugs, you know, you're missing out a big part of life and communication. Especially in body language. So when you, when you're in a peak state, when you are full of energy and you know, hey, tonality and secondly, body language plays a major role in my communication. I will look with my left eye into your left eye because I want to connect my right brain with your right brain because I'm going to ask you an emotional question. Yeah, look at that. So these things, if you start understanding how that works, you'll be surprised with the results you will get. And it's that body language that will give you so much more results in whatever you do. If it's in your business, if it's in your relation with your kids, if it's in your relationship with your partner, it doesn't matter which part you think. But once you start understanding how it works and you are in a peak state because you didn't smoke anymore, you don't— I mean, nothing wrong with a glass of champagne, but the thing is, when you are changing your body, the state of your body by certain habits or products, you're not acting on a peak state. You're not acting at your fullest potential. And when you act on your fullest of your potential and you know how body language works, your results will go through the roof. I had a lunch with, uh, Jack Canfield from Chicken Soup for the Soul in London. We had lunch together and we were talking about levels of consciousness. And levels of consciousness is that the higher you go in levels of consciousness, the less people However, the higher the quality of the questions and higher the quality of the responses, other of the answers, and those people who are— and with all due respect for people in the survival mode, but they can't reach you anymore because you're at such a high level of consciousness. And once you start using that body language, the knowledge of high levels of consciousness, you start combining all of that, you put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I guarantee you, you're going to have results that go through the roof. If it wasn't for that, I would never be here in Doha and Qatar at this very moment. I would never have been in Tehran. I would never have been in Australia, in Bangkok, in Dallas last year. Because if you want to have results, high-end results, you have to have a high-end potential energy. And it's that energy that you can create yourself. But if you lower your energy by alcohol, drugs, tobacco, whatever, I mean, yeah, I don't know if that answers your question.

Yes, it really a lot. And you bring here the connections between the conscious mind and unconscious mind. And body language, what I believe, is the communication from the unconscious mind. For those who are listening to us, remember, The conscious mind, they have a potential of absorbing the information from outside of the world in the ratio of 100 to 200 bytes per second. So this is a lot of information because it's what we keep in our mind. Oh, if I tell you, watch my finger, you are watching my finger. However, the unconscious mind is watching the other fingers, is taking care of our temperature, body. He's taking care about our beating heart, of the heart. He's taking care about the noise that you listen from outside, how the brain works, how all the organs work. So he has a huge potential. And the neuroscience and the neuroprolongation program, they share that the right side of the brain is a huge potential of 2 to 4 million bytes of information a second. So what I believe, and we did this on our conversation, I challenge you, you keep yourself so focused on the What is he giving me? I don't even know if you remember that I programmed you. I'm recapping some stuff. I programmed you to have a me image in your brain. So I ask you, do you know what color is your lungs when you smoke? And you were like, oh, 30 years or— I told you gray, as rude as I can be, gray. Gray. So the dad is inside of you. Can you see the image? To increase the image. So today we have studies that they show that 80% of the brain functions become from image. So when I increase the image, you really started to see it. And I told you, we can turn it around. And then I leave seconds, his body language as well, because those seconds of silence that I don't say anything, you start to fight with yourself. I remember your face all along. You keep fighting equal. You have a fierce view, you keep the same yourself. And that is that something happened from inside. So when you activate the connection between the left brain and the right brain and you give the right questions, as you are saying, and you pick the right habits, it's impossible you do not change. The change started already. However, we are educated in our schools. I see the kids. I see my young kids, your kids. You have a lot of kids as well. Thank the world for us because we still do kids.

Pretty active, yeah.

Teach anything to them. They just— you need to memorize this, and there is no relationship, there is no communication skills, there is no speaking about the brains, both hemispheres, coaching, NLP, emotional intelligence. This is not being teachable on the schools. So we have a huge opportunity here to change. So keep yourselves on the track of changing, because this is what it is, is something that you cannot change is the— is living in the jail for 30 years and plus And then you start to be free. First day, really challenge, but I keep myself committed, consistent. One week, one month, one year. Hey Ricardo, one year no smoking. I'm alive. You were right. I can't even believe alive. Second year, 11 years. You keep reading me every year. This, this year I was prepared because I told my daughter, we were traveling around Europe and I told my daughter, hey, you're gonna make birthday. Well, what is the gift that you want? And she told me that, you know, I will have a gift if when you make your birthday every year Rene will call me and say 11 years. And she was serious. So I use the same that I use with you with my daughter to keep her like curious because she's through some silence. And I told her, no, this guy really changed an habit. 30 years of jail. And he did it, just a conversation. And she was like, what was the conversation? So this is people asking us to change, not you pushing them to change, because it's their will, is on their brain, there is something changing. So this is really powerful, powerful.

Rene, what you just, what you just mentioned about, what you just mentioned about 40 million bits of, of data is, is so true.

2, 4 millions. 2, 4 millions.

Well, the thing is, so we got 4 million and 40 million in the sense that right brain is true until 4 million bytes of information per second.

The left brain is just 100 until 200. Most of the studies saying 138 bytes of information.

You're talking about left or right? I'm talking about when I communicate with somebody. So when I communicate with somebody, my verbal is 4 million bits of data. My nonverbal is 40 million bits of data.

Got it. Got it. Got it. Yes.

No, I mean, so I'm not talking about left or right. I'm talking just about having a conversation with somebody. So when I talk to you, my verbal is 40 million, is 4 million bits of data per second we transfer. And then my subconscious mind, which is the body language and my tonality, is 40 million bits of data that will go into your brain. It will be processed and come back to me with an answer based on what I told you, or my statement, or my question.

True.

That's why it's been said that your outside world is in fact a reflection of yourself. And that's why it's so important to remember the words of Jim Rohn: watch out the 5 people you surround yourself with on a daily basis, because if your 5 people are smokers you're going to end up smoking, period. And that's why I changed my environment completely. I lost 99% of my friends, so-called friends. And they made space for other people, better people, higher quality people. I mean, that's what Les Brown says.

My killing friends.

Yeah. Les Brown says— Yeah, with high QP. No, high quality people only. HQP people only. And that's what I did. But in terms of body language, you know, I can only say the moment you start understanding how body language works and the moment you understand that when you don't change your body with all kinds of addictions, right, you are going to function on the highest of your potential. And that is so, so important to understand. And yeah, and body language is being used worldwide. I mean, I was in Dallas in a hair salon summit. With people who are in the hair salon, you know, hairdressers. And I said, why would a body language trainer come to a summit with hairdressers? And I said, listen, if you are a hairdresser and you listen to people, what they say in the salon, the only thing they do is complain. Did you hear about my uncle? Did you hear in the news? Did you hear in the radio? And the hairdresser is touching the body of that person, so they get the energy inside of them as well. If you know a little bit about energies and frequencies and vibrations. So all of that negativity plus these vibrations get into the hairdresser, and at the end of the day, where do they go with their big bucket of all negativity from all these people? And it's not only one day, it's day in, day out. I said, if you change your body language— because when you're with the hairdresser, you're looking in the mirror to the hairdresser. You're sitting, you're looking in the mirror. Who do you see? The hairdresser. I said, you as being the hairdresser, if you change your body language, you can turn around a conversation from negative to positive. Let me show you how. And the rest is history. And that's what I did at that summit. It's so important to understand that nonverbal communication and being at your highest of your potential You are going to have some rock and roll days, man. You won't believe it.

I'm glad you are talking about that because those are the people who are more in love by the psychology, by psychiatrists. They study a lot. Uh, a man most of you probably know, the Swiss guy Carl Gustav Jung. And Jung already was talking about this that Rene Deceuninck does. The quality, collective unconscious. So for me, it's like a place where, where we all talk. So we have trillions of millions of atoms getting in and out every breathing. So we are part of everyone. So there is a force, an energy, or whatever you want to talk, where everyone can feel, can, can have some knowledge, some information from the others. So this is really strong, and I'm glad that you shared the millions of information that we can spare between the others. However, I'm pretty sure the biggest information for you was the information that you're sharing yourself, the inner dialogue, the internal one. Because something happened in you when probably you were like, I'm gonna quit smoking. And the voice was like, very glad, quit smoking, be healthy. And another voice, what, you don't have the guts. Keep smoking. This is really— this is radical. Oh, this is giving you certainty. You cannot get attached. Look, your peer group. Let's connect with the other smoking. So whatever was the inner dialogue, this is what you really change. So I will ask you, if you have someone that you are working with or a friend or whatever, that's— what can you share with him, like a practical technique to reinforce the decision and avoid relapses? Because there is some people that they quit for a couple of months and then they become to the old habit. So what do you think, Rene Deceuninck, in a short share, what will be the best strategy, the best technique that you know to turn around the person to that transformation?

In 1995, when I started my business, I bought my very first book, and me and books were not best friends in those days. Today I read a lot of books, and my very first book was a book from Tony Robbins called Notes from a Friend. It's a very tiny book. You can read it in less than 2 hours. I think I have it. I think you have it too, man. I would be surprised if you wouldn't.

I have it somewhere here. Yeah, I'm not pretty sure if he's— I'm in the North House, so I'm not pretty sure if he's here. He's Simon, Tony.

Yeah, but the thing, the thing, there's a couple of question— a couple of stories. I'm only going to share two of the stories. The first story is that when my dad died in 2002, um, before they closed the coffin, I said to my dad, I'm gonna, um, achieve all my dreams and my goals in life, and I will see you on the other side. And I left. And one of the goals was because when I was 11 years old, I received a book from my mom and dad about the Tao Te Ching. Now, who gives a kid who is 11 years old a book about the Tao Te Ching? I mean, today they will fight over an iPhone 16. In those days, you received a bike or a football or whatever, and they gave me a book. I said, what the heck? But then years later, I start reading more and more books about Tao Te Ching, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra. And all of these leaders, and also the Dalai Lama. And I am not really connected to Buddhism or Islam or Christianity or whatever, but what I found fascinating in Buddhism is the way they speak, the way they act. And I was like, you know what, one day I want to meet that Dalai Lama. And everybody in my family said, you are crazy. I said, don't worry about it, I know. And I started meditating on it. I started really, you know, there's a story from Wayne Dyer that says when you start synchronizing things, you know, things will happen. But when you start synchronizing and manifesting, the craziest things start to happen. I'm going to spare you the details because this is not— this is a different story. But the thing is, I started synchronizing, manifesting through meditation. I want to meet the Dalai Lama. Meditated about it 2 years in a row, from 2002 to 2004. And in 2004, I say, you know what, this is probably not going to happen because I manifest— I started manifesting, I want to meet him and I want to meet him in Belgium. Hello, the Dalai Lama. And in 2004, I stopped that synchronizing and manifesting. I say, you know what, let it go. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Don't worry about it. And 2 years later, in 2006, at Father's Day, one of my daughters, she approached me and she said, hey, Dad, I got a little gift for you for Father's Day. And she gave me an envelope. And in the envelope, there were 2 tickets. Guess what? For a meeting with the Dalai Lama. In Belgium. I said, whoa, that— and they didn't know it, they were not aware of it. And I said, that is crazy. That's how the universe works. And in 1995, to come back to Tony Robbins, that book, I mean, I read the book and I said, you know what, there will be a day I will end up with the guy backstage, have a conversation with him. Okay. And everybody in my neighborhood says, Rene, 'You are nuts. This is not going to happen. He's a multimillionaire. He lives in America. Who do you think you are? He's going to make time for you.' I say, 'You're probably right, but I don't know. I have a feeling, and it's going to happen anyway.' So I started synchronizing, manifesting, and finally ended up when the time was right. When you take decisions and you go for it, and the time was really right, the moment I stopped smoking through you, by the way, right? I want to accentuate that. And, and then I ended up with Tony Robbins. And in terms of, of the, the security detail, I didn't want to become a security detail. I wanted to get as close as possible to my mentor. I couldn't get any closer, you know. And for me, that was an amazing experience. And after 2 years, you know, being as so close with him, I said, you know what, was an amazing journey, and I left, ending up representing him through the company SR from Singapore, right? And for me, it's about that drive. It's about you keep going, you keep going. To come back to your question, what advice would you give somebody that wants to change a habit is make sure you got a dream so big that there's no alternative. No alternative. And that might sound a little bit black and white, but that's how it works. There's no alternative. And if you want to really have a system, what I would do is like, hey, if you would think about, um, I'm going back, punish yourself with something you don't like to do. Is if it's cutting the grass in the garden, if it's cleaning, if it's— but you have to punish yourself with something. However, if you stay clean for a week, you have to reward yourself with something, and then you build it up bit by bit by bit by bit. I didn't do it that way because my dream was big enough. And when the dream is big enough— there was another guy in the US, a coach, that said, when the dream is big enough, the facts don't count. But you have to have that big dream, that goal, and then write it down and have a notebook and take notes about it. And then reread your notes on a constant basis. That is so, um, it has such a powerful effect on you when you reread your notes because a lot of people take notes but they never reread them, which is a shame, right? When you reread your notes, you go like, oh, oh wow. And then, and you start realizing like, okay, and then you go back to the dream. When the dream is big enough, facts don't count. What is my dream? Why would I do it? You know, RPM, results-oriented purpose-driven massive action plan, Tony Robbins. If you know what you want, amazing. But why do you want it? Which is 80% of everything. And that is my advice to people who want to change a habit. Make sure to have a dream that big. And then people got— I got people saying, but I don't know what my dream is. I say, you do know. The moment you don't know is the moment you know. Write it down. Take a piece of paper, write 10 things down that might be a big goal for you that you think you can't achieve. And I know you can, because if I can become a pilot in the forces based on a hotel school diploma, everybody can do it, if that makes sense. But the main thing is to have a big goal or dream, make a plan, then work the plan. And know why you want it. I think that is my advice for people.

What a long story and great distinctions in the middle. Dalai Lama, Tony Robbins, big examples. Um, I'm going to take, I'm going to take the advantage on this. Sometimes for those who are trying to— I have here, give me a second— who are trying to change and they are limited, sometimes it's hard. We are just use what Rene gives to here to you. Use the pain and the pleasure, the reward and something you don't like. For example, I want to quit smoking, so I'm going to put a wrist here. Oh, I'm thinking about smoking. Bam! Really strong. So you got to stop your association. Pablo, it works. I, I can assure you. It works. And if you stay all day with no smoking, go at the end and offer you a massage or offer you something that you really like and is useful, is healthy for you or whatever. Because the body, the brain will start to adopt a new system, new habits, as simple as this. Coach yourself, train yourself on this to, to, to keep the change. Rene Deceuninck, the time flies and I want to keep this on.

Can I give one more? Can I give one more example?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, please.

Very short one. When we were flying, you know, the shape of wing is like this, right? So the wind goes like this. So it pushes the wing up because of the relative wind, right? But once you start changing the angle against the wind, so it doesn't push anymore. Your plane falls like a rock. Now, as a student pilot, you have to do that exercise to know what to do, how to react when that happens, when the plane is falling. So you're flying, you're flying, you change, you change, and then you start falling. And then the recovery is that you have to rock the nose and then dive. And then once you dive, you get momentum, and then you level it again and you put it on the ground. And I have that pain-pleasure— what you just mentioned is that when you are in shit and you start falling, people push the brake even more and they fall more instead of diving through the problems, diving through the challenge, diving to what you go through and then get momentum. And that is so an important distinction, distinction that diving through your challenges. I was with Tom Bilyeu's wife, Lisa Bilyeu, in Dallas. She said the same thing. When, when shit hits the fence, wear goggles. So that is— that's just to add that little story I wanted to add. Like, once, when stuff happens, just, just dive through it and then look for a solution. And, and because once challenge is, is, is solved, there will be another challenge waiting for you. That's, that's life, right? So, and as long as you don't solve that first one, you're going to keep getting it until you solve it.

You use the Indian wisdom with the airplanes. They always saying that in the poison is the best solution. So the antidote is in the poison. So if you are falling down, go deep and coming up. Very, very curious, very powerful, very powerful. So Let's, let's recap a bit before we close. We start to do our opening. We share our story 11 years ago, um, and then I challenge you to, to ask you what was the turning point, then the power of body language in the personal transformation. And now we are talking about impact, inspiration, some say experience. And then definitely this is one of the things that I like mostly on, on the, on the world. Um, I have testimonials for, for all over countries in the world. And I have people like you, uh, you are very consistent every year. Hey, Ricardo, 11 years. But people that I see after 10 years, after 20 years, I mean, for me, there is no grateful thing that crossing with someone. Like last week, a couple crossed by me, say, are you Ricardo? Oh, let's hug you, change our life. And I was like, where? I don't know you guys. Can you remember me? Oh, was 14 years ago. He give us a training of NLP and emotional intelligence in a city far away. And will you still remember me? Yes, you change because we're with some challenge on the relationship and the tools you share with us, the conversations we have, they really impact us. So thank you so much. And they hug me and I told him, how long are you together, guys? And they told me more than 30 years. And I told them, wow, do it because I want to learn with you guys, because there is not too many people with 30 years together. So beautiful lunch we have. And then this is what we're talking about, the, the people, the 5 people around. I don't believe on the 5 people. I believe on the 2 people that are around you. Your wife, neither your husband. What is the 2 people that you have mostly on your daily routines a day, because they are the people that will guide you. On that moment, I choose that guy to be my pilot and co-pilot. Let's sit together and share me, well, what are you doing in your relationship? What do you do when you fight? What are you doing, have, um, when you are tired of, of something, when you lose the passion, when you, you dismiss the, the polarity, whatever? And it was an unbelievable conversation. We can do this about business. We can do this about success. We can do this about health. We can do this about traveling, whatever is the goal. So desire really big.

Your finances, even your finances. I was the one that was in, what was it? I think Las Vegas. I had people coming towards me. She said, Rene, you know, because of what I saw in your seminar, we started applying this and now our finances are like skyrocketing because of certain systems that we utilize now that you showed us. And I said, wow. Awesome. So yeah.

So now to, to engage here the audience, I will share everyone. I will challenge everyone who are live here. If you want to share, most of the people, I don't know if you have good English or not, but you can even share in Portuguese. Podem partilhar em português. Share in the, the, in, in the comments. What habits do you want to change? What is the addiction, the negative habit that you have in your life that you want to share? Can be smoking, can be drinking, can be drugs, can be yelling with someone, can be trading. When you are with someone and you don't trust, and then you fool the people, for example, and you repeat, that is a pattern as well. What is the habit? What is making you lose? Is procrastination when something happened that you have the opportunity and you let it for tomorrow, every tomorrow? What is the habit that you want to change? And then see if me and Rene can help you, because I will be delighted. And I know Rene enough to know that he will be delighted as well. Finishing here before they wrote, because there is some delay to the YouTube. Rene, to finish here, I'm I will challenge you to give one piece of advice to someone that really wants to quit a bad habit and change, change their life. What, what will be the, the, the number one piece of advice that you can give to someone on this?

Have a big dream. Have a big dream, have a big goal, and then just go for it. Um, The reason I'm in Qatar is for a complete different reason than the body language. And we are negotiating now on a super high level, on a royalty level. And that's one of my big dreams. And we're getting there bit by bit. It took me a couple of years, but bit by bit we're getting there. And have a big dream. Have a big dream. Have a big dream and dream big. I will keep saying it and I will keep repeating it. Dream big. And once you have a decided, is there's no way back. You took the decision, you go for that dream, you create a plan. So again, RPM, Robbins, you know, results-oriented, purpose-driven, massive action plan. Know what you want, write it down, write down why you want it, and then create massive action and make sure it's a dream that is non-negotiable. For me, smoking, if a partner would, if a potential partner would you know, approach me, smoking, non-negotiable, non-negotiable. I'm sorry. And that is what the dream is, the same thing. If you have a dream, non-negotiable, you go for it and that's it. And there's enough tools out there and you, Ricardo, you can help people with that. I can help people with that as well, how to do that. And that's a different Zoom call, I guess. But it is, it is have a dream, have a dream that's big enough that is influencing you emotionally, rationally, your family, your kids, um, and make sure, you know, to just go for it. Just go for it.

Life—

I mean, the song that Robbins uses a lot, Life Will Never Be the Same Again, but my life has never been the same again. It's, it's, it's, it turned my life upside down. That's why I call you every year. That's why I'm so grateful that I met you. That's why I'm so grateful that you showed me a way to do it. Because my life changed for the better tremendously, 1,000%. So yeah, that's my advice to somebody that really say, hey, wow, just do it. That's it.

Beautiful, brother.

Very simple. You know, you don't have to make it complicated.

You already been in Portugal for a couple of times. Some of those trips was my pleasure. One of those you come to as my guest to speak in called me. We are going to the 25th edition, so the longest event in Portugal on the human development, 25th edition. And then you remember one of the times you come here, you meet Thor, my dog, and we were talking about big dream and he come to here. I was doing some with my hand on his head and here, but he was saying yes. You remember him?

I do, I do, I do, I do.

He's still alive. Wow.

I remember having—

I mean, I remember when we went to that fish restaurant as well, north of Portugal, near from Porto, eating fish and seafood with your kids and my kids. It was unbelievable that day.

Amazing. It was amazing. Yeah.

Wow. Those who do not know Rene, please follow him. On social. Rene already been here in Portugal, was one of the best guests I ever been in my stage. He was with Atilio, the world champion of kickboxing as well, was the two guests that I have on that event, and he rocked the house. Everyone loves him. Uh, there is still people after— I don't know, I think was in 2017, that year that you come, and there is still people asking, when do you bring Rene again? So we were talking to do something in the near future. Just so recap all the neuro strategies that Rene bring to here, they are unbelievable. How to change an habit? First, be aware, work your conscience, watch what happened, see the good things, bad things, the people in environment, the people around you, wherever. After that, take the fucking decision. Not I decide 6 months I cannot do it. Or do you do it or you don't do it. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. With love and beliefs, you will take the decision. Once you take the decision, the first step is done, and then it's much more easy to give in the second step, the third step. And then use the strategy we share here— power of intention. Set intention, and suddenly you are with the Dalai Lama, with Tony Robbins, with Ricardo, with the sheikhs in Qatar. Or whatever, and how to do it. So you know the, the, the gold circle from Simon Sinek, we're sharing here why Tony is using in his way, Simon Sinek in his own way, why, how, and who. Rene shares his magic formula to you guys. Work your why, make sure you know why you got to do it, then set a plan, an action plan. But never, never, never, never, never, ever, never, never, ever forget to dream big and go for it. So this is what I learned on this call we do, brother. And I gotta call Thor and see— he's sleeping, brother. I know if he's coming here just to show you that he's alive. What really motivates me, I will increase something to this, is the gratitude. Because every year you call me just with gratitude. Recommend the— give him the recommendations for, for helping you to change your life. And it was just a conversation, brother. I do this every day, and I'm very grateful because it's such a huge gratitude from your heart and touch my heart that we at this point we are, we are sending the message to touch the heart of the other persons. Yeah, is the fool for everyone that really wants to change their life.

And I mentioned you a couple times in my book as well, isn't it?

I was like Can you share here where the people can buy your books as well? In Amazon or—

Oh, um, very simple. If you go to myname.com, ReneDeceuninck.com, you'll land on the website, and then there's a— you can go /training, /shop, /um, maybe when, when we— is he there?

He's there. He's sleeping.

Oh my goodness.

He jumped to the sofa. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

No, can't be bothered. No, when people, when, when people go to my name, ReneDeceuninck.com, um, but I'll share a link in, um, in the comments as well once we post it on YouTube or on, on Instagram or whatever. I'll share the link and it's my name.com slash slash slash shop. And in the shop, there's different things that you can look into. We are in Lebanon, in Beirut, end of the month. Then later on, I'll be in Paris. And in between, I'll be in Budapest. And then from there, I mean, I got a whole tour going on afterwards. Jamaica, Jamaica to Ibiza. So yeah, and there's all kinds of information on that.

Shop.

So rene-deceuninck.com/shop. And then you can find the book there. Yeah. And I would say, hey, if you have questions, feel free. I'm not going to invoice you. If you have questions, hey, man, I got an issue with this, I issue with that. Just shoot. I'll respond to the questions. I respond normally within 24, 48 hours because I'm pretty busy. But I try to respond to every single question myself. I don't have an IT guy doing it in my place. I do it myself.

Or an AI. No, no, I don't use it. You don't use it? I'm sorry. Because if you don't use it, you're going to lose it. This, I believe, is an extension of the human being, of our potential. If you use it in the right way, can be very useful. You cannot be fear about this.

It can be very useful for sure. I mean, I was with Mo Gawdat. Mo Gawdat is one of the key people in AI, in the world of AI. If you don't know him, Mo Gawdat, and he's very well known in AI. And he said as well, I asked the question, when is this going to stop? He says it is unstoppable. AI is here to stay and it's going to expand tremendously. So if you don't use it, Yeah, you have to. I mean, in the long run, you'll use it.

You can make a comparison, Rene Deceuninck, is if you remember on the first 2 years, you asked the people what was Google, 10%, 20% of the people knew. At this point, you ask to the people, for example, ChatGPT, everyone knows. Everyone remembers that. Not everyone using regularly, but everyone knows in just 2 years. 2 years. So this is gonna that is going to increase on the accelerator. The companies, the biggest companies at this point, they have in their budget, they use at least 5-20% of their budget to the AI. So we need to be aware of this and open eyes with this as well. Well, let me see if there is any question. Oh, there is a question. When are you coming to Portugal? We're going to set this.

That's a question for Ricardo.

We want to meet soon in Algarve. We are talking about this before pandemic, before COVID but we will make a manager to make it happen. I'm gonna record this, I'm gonna put it in social nets. Rene, you are my guest. You ring me, you challenge me, we did this. Leave a message for the world, leave a message for the people who will listen this. And if was your last moment in life, What will you share with us?

Before, before I do that, I am looking into a place called Carvoeiro, which is in between Portimão and Albufeira.

Yes, it's a very beautiful place. It's a small village and, um, very beautiful place. Some of the places are very expensive for Portuguese, for the area that it is. However, it's an international, very beautiful community. It's 10-15 minutes away from my house. I used to go there cycling from my house, cycling until there. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful place. It's one of the best places in Algarve. So you are looking well.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to— yeah, I'm not going to say it out loud because when you do that, sometimes you have to pay attention to the law of attraction, right?

So anyway, if Ana is listening to this, she will send you a text, hey Rene, come, you buy me the dinner and I'll show you the best restaurants.

Deal. Last message I really want to share with the world in this conversation is a bit of a funny thing. I used to drive from where I lived in London to Belgium to visit the family by car. So I had to go through the ferry, right? The ferry from Dover in England to Calais in France. And each time I went to the ferry, you have to go through customs. You have to show your passport. Et cetera, et cetera. So once I was pulled over, they want to check my luggage, they want to check everything. And the guy says to me, um, what, where are you from? I said, I'm from there. He says, okay, and where are you heading? I said, you know, normal questions in customs. And then he says, what do you do for a, for a living? And I look at him, I said, well, I teach body language. Oh, he says, so what does my body language tell you right now? And there's two police officers behind him. And I said, sir, you don't want to know. And those police officers, they start laughing and they said, here, take your passport, go. He was so frustrated. The thing is, I said to him, sir, one more thing. It doesn't matter what your body language is, but be you. And if you are you, that is the best body language you can produce. Don't fake it, just be yourself. And if people have a hard time with that, you being yourself, that's their problem but definitely not yours. And he looked at me like, wow, that's great advice. I said, no worries. So the biggest advice I can give to people is be yourself, educate yourself. If you want to change, take some decisions, make a plan, work a plan, and just freaking do it. That's all. It's as simple as that.

Be yourself, be authentic.

That's—

I gotta give a good recommendation, everyone. Uh, text Rene, make your questions, more than your questions, share with him. If you are around Europe, go and do a course with him because it's really useful. I use body language a lot on my work, on myself, on, on the communication with my kids, with my wife. I use body language everywhere. He knows me, Rene, you know me. When I've traveled around the world alone, I like a lot because I'm reading, but especially because I'm learning with the people. I watch their moves, I'm trying to understand what is the meaning, and put all together, you can speak without speaking. You can know even without having the information. And this is the magic of body language. I learned a lot with Rene Deceuninck. I still remember the exercise we did in the cold meat. Very funny to connect in conscience, the meetings process, the love process. Unbelievable, is well worth it. So, and as a human being, Rene Deceuninck is an unbelievable human being with a lot of knowledge, experience around the world. He lives several places and he's a master on body language communication. So connect with him, follow him and make sure you are in contact. And let's see if we bring him near to Portugal. So this is my recommendation to him. Rene, big help from your friend from Portugal. You already give me a very good passport here when you told me that I changed your life. But the best you are always giving to me is every year share your gratitude in the message, in a call, or whatever. And I'm always laughing like, this fucking bastard, he will keep until the end. I knew that you will change forever. Thank you, brother. If you want to—

the 8th of February is our anniversary. 8th of February.

He as a dad and you as a free man.

Yeah, awesome, brother.

Stay strong.

And you, if there's any questions for the people, they are free to ask questions as much as they want. I will respond within 24-48, right?

We are here for more than 1 hour. We told 30 minutes. Love you, brother. Stay strong. Good dinner for you. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.