Rich Bello (YouTube, July 5, 2020) explains how to move from identifying an emotion to choosing and executing an appropriate action. He emphasizes using reasoning (prefrontal cortex) to decide whether to act or let an emotion pass, clarifying long-term goals before choosing behavior, and avoiding short-term comfort that undermines outcomes (example: negotiation). He gives category-to-action mappings (e.g., fear → prepare; overwhelm → prioritize) and points listeners to downloadable lists and a course on his website.
Chapters
So once you have a solid meaning behind the emotion, it's now time to decide what action to take or not take. And then of course, to take that action. The action is usually in the form of some behavior modification or communication modification, or it may be just to let that. Let go of the emotion. Just let it go. If you're wrong about the trigger, for instance, here too, we're going to need to use the reasoning abilities of our prefrontal cortex to decide what. What action to take. The action we take should be appropriate under the circumstances. Many times we take actions that are disproportionate to the meaning, and therefore we don't get our desired outcome. Before deciding what action to take, get very clear on what the long term outcome is that you want to achieve. Most people make the mistake of thinking short term when dealing with emotions. They just want the negative emotion to go away. They want the feeling to go away. So they go for the short term gratification solution instead. Lots of problems happen here. I was just coaching somebody today, he was in a negotiation. Negotiations are so uncomfortable for people that they just want to give in rather than hold out for what they want long term. So I encourage them, stick in there, go for the long term goal here, don't go for the comfort, because then you'll just give in on the negotiation. Now, once you're clear on what it is that you want, what your objective is, then decide what the best course of action is they can take to achieve it. Again, categories of emotions have typical default actions. The default action for fear is to prepare, right? Because the meaning is potential harm, you better prepare. The default action for overwhelm is to prioritize. Because the meaning of overwhelm is that you're overloaded with things. You got too many things on your plate, so prioritize. I like that one. I teach a whole course on that, right. I have the full list of these meanings and actions on our website. So you can take a look at them, you can download them, you can download them for free. Now, once you decide what the appropriate action is, get your outcome, take that action. Don't look back. You put hard work in. You've made the best decision you could with the information that you had available to you at the time. Go do that, take that action.
