A short talk by Rich Bello explaining how to interpret and use emotions as adaptive signals. He advises identifying whether an emotional trigger is real, naming the emotion category (fear, anger, frustration), asking what the emotion typically means in context, and reframing meanings into positive, action-oriented interpretations that serve long-term interests.
Chapters
Once you're ready to take on the analysis the actual emotion, so you can respond in a way that ultimately serves your best long term interest, it's a good idea to give some appreciation to this emotional guidance system itself. Remember, we were provided with emotions to keep us alive. That's their purpose. We're very fortunate to have them. Positive emotions tell us we're on the right track. Negative emotions tell us we're on the wrong track and give us the resources we need to get back on track. The only reason we have to go through this process because our environment has changed so quickly. So we need to utilize our prefrontal cortex to adapt to the new environment. This exercise of feeling gratitude also serves to put you in the right mindset to tackle this challenge. Now, it's really important to understand the meaning of our emotions so we can understand the message, because that's what emotions are. They're messengers. They're messages or signals to take some sort of action. So the first step in understanding the meaning of the emotion is to decide if the trigger itself is real or imagined. Right. Does the stimulus warrant the type of emotion that has been sent up from the amygdala to the old brain to the prefrontal cortex in the new brain? For example, the rope example that we used. Is the rope real or is it a snake? Oh, it was just a rope. False alarm. Let the emotion go. You're done. Right there. Now next, if it was real. Snake. Right. What category of emotion is it? Is it fear? Is it anger? Perhaps it's frustration. Give the emotion a name. Understand the category. And that's important because we can ask then what's the meaning for that particular category? Different categories of general meanings. For instance, the typical meaning of fear is potential harm. Is that true for this particular situation? I. Are you in actual danger? If so, proceed to what the appropriate reaction is in this circumstance. That'll be the next step. For now, we want to get the meaning right, though. For example, for fear, the usual action is that the action you take is to prepare. Prepare to fight or play. Usually it's some derivation of this. For instance, if you have a fear of public speaking, the meaning is potential harm. In this instance, your reputation, maybe not physical harm. And the message is to prepare. That's exactly what you should do. You give a public speech, you should prepare. That'll give you confidence to deliver a great speech. If the meaning of the emotion is not correct after your analysis. Right. Then reframe the meaning, or in other words, change the meaning to something that will serve your best interest. Always ask, what else could this mean? Or how do I want to feel? For instance, if you're feeling frustrated and believe the initial meaning is that you won't achieve your goal, ask yourself, what else can this mean? You may come up with something like usually when I'm frustrated, I use that energy to break through and achieve my goals. I'm very close to my goal. When I'm frustrated, what happens? You're usually almost at your goal, so in fact I'm close. Or say you're lonely. Instead of that meaning, nobody wants to spend time with me. Change the meaning to something that will serve you like a I'm going to use this pain to motivate me to come up with a plan to meet somebody and fall in love. Use your creativity. I don't know. Right? Use the energy of emotion to get what you want. A much better way to deal with emotions. The key here is to decide on a positive meaning. That's the bottom line, really. This is the crux of the message behind my book, Christ of Tune.
