Stress and Anxiety Don’t Have to Control You — Here’s What Works

If you're looking to fix your health and fix your life, then stay with us for a mental health changing session with Dr. Pat Bulong as she makes sense of complex and challenging situations affecting your mind by finding a simpler way to move you forward with measurable results. Welcome to Beyond Diagnosis, a podcast to raise your awareness. Decisions and voice for alternative practices so you can take back control of your health. I'm Rita De Michele, your host, a mindset and empowerment coach, and the founder of the Onus platform. Join me each week so you can create the health of your dreams. Welcome, Pat. Dr. Pat, how are you?

I am good, thank you so much. I appreciate being here, and we've been having so much fun at pre-talk. You know, it's just going to continue.

It is going to— we've had a great chat and finding more about what you do and how you help people. And on that note, as a certified functional medicine practitioner and coach, in your opinion, what's going on with mindset and mental health these days?

Well, I think a lot of it has to do with your gut. And, and they know that depression, they know that anxiety, you know, is driven by changes that happen in your gut. Most of your immune system is in your gut. So I always say, you know, gut-brain, gut-face connection, because you wear— like, for instance, on your face, you wear your emotions, you wear what food you're eating, you know, you wear like, you know, it's like people can look at you. That's why they go, are you okay? You know, because they can see it, you know. And so, you know, that, you know, today I just think, you know, our choices for food and the quality of the air that we breathe, the water we drink, the chemicals we use in our house, you got to read labels, you know. And the gardening, you've got to read labels, you know. And if you don't understand an ingredient, it doesn't matter if you can't say the name of it. What's more important is that you look at the side effects of it. And and then you need to get cleaner. You need to make that conscious choice that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for longevity, and I want I don't just want to live long. I want to live great. Forget about living long unless you like living great because it makes no sense to do it unless you have the both of those pieces of the puzzle together. So diet is the huge thing. I think diet is like the biggest culprit. You know, we have environmental toxins. You know, and some of us are in toxic. You know, even in you know. Personal and work environments that are toxic, that emotion we take on, and it's got to go someplace in our body. It isn't like it happens and you got to forget that it ever happened before, because a lot of people bury emotions like childhood traumas and other traumas that they have in their life. They'll store them in their body. And then you wonder, why did you get sick? There was a woman who was like the third Top-ranked OB-GYN in Boston that I used to refer patients to and also was my OB-GYN too. And my friend who went to go see her, this short story, you know, she's talking to her and talking to her and she said, she goes, so why do you hate your husband so much? And she never said, we never talked about my husband. And she goes, when she said that, I just realized that, oh my God. That This is the 20th time I've had a yeast infection. It isn't like I'm doing something different. And she said, it's an emotional connection. And she was so far ahead of her— for a medical doctor, she was so far ahead of her realm in that. And she always thought— she said to me one time, peace of mind is so valuable. It's just like I really bend over backwards so that my patients you know, her patients and for me too, you know, would have peace of mind. Because when you have peace of mind, then you feel better. You can look in the mirror and you can say, like, you know, I'm feeling pretty good today. I mean, you can see it on your face. You know that. Yes.

Right.

You know, and you know, like when you're 27, you know, you can get away with no sleep, you know, but when you're like over 35, you know, and you don't get sleep, you look haggard and you're thinking like, oh my God, You know, it's just like, is that, you know, and, and then you've got, you know, there's, there are things that you do, you know, to like buff that up, like eating, but it wears on you mentally.

It does. It does. That tiredness, that relentless fatigue really does play a, um, a real factor into how you walk through your day, you know, mentally, you know, how you react to people, how you accept situations. So is it just how, is it like more related to epigenetics or is there a genetic factor in, um, negativity and mental health?

Well, my mentor, you know, in functional medicine, um, always said you're not your DNA. And so, you know, we think that, oh, it's my, 'cause it's my family. Well, if you keep on eating the way your family's been eating for however, then you're gonna have the same type of, you know, problems that your family's had, you know, and, you know, and for like whether it's heart disease, where it's diabetes, kidney disease, whatever it is, if you keep on eating the same way, then that gene pool is going to play out in a very specific way. Plus, if you add in that environmental toxin that I've already talked about, you know, then you're like in a cesspool. So in order to change that, if you want to change your constitution, what you need to do is you need to choose better doing this, what goes into your mouth.

So what you put in your mouth is obviously going to have a huge impact on your mental health and the way you see life.

Sure. It's just like the gut-brain connection is huge. And it's like when— and then people have even when you're looking at things that you can do to improve that, like the cookware that you use. You know, what's it coated with? You know, you never cook anything that has Teflon. Prefer you never to use it, but you never use anything with Teflon on high heat because it leaches all those tetrachlorohydrocarbons— big word— into your food. You know, it's just like they used to say years ago, like, oh, aluminum would leach into your food. Well, especially if you cook spinach in it, you know, or kale. You know, or, you know, tomatoes, they are high in oxalates. So it leaches the, you know, the chemical, you know, like into your food. And everybody, you know, I would say, I don't know about Australia, I've never looked at the stats, but everybody in the United States has exposure to heavy metals.

Oh, same here. Same here. Yep. Especially I've heard, just touch on that with when you, because you mentioned cookware. I've read that now there's, you know, there's this big craze, and even I have one, the air fryers now, but they are all nonstick inside. And people are now saying, well, the air fryer goes up to such a high heat, up to 200 Celsius here. Right, right, right. You're leaching all the chemicals out of that coating and into your food. So, which, you know, it's such a shame because the air fryer is so handy, but if it's going to affect your health, It's not worth using.

Well, right. You have to ask yourself, are you, you know, what are you willing to do? Are you willing to invest in your health? Then you might have to do things like, you know, the old-fashioned way, you know, like the stovetop to like heat up your food, for instance, you know. And, um, you know, and then make sure you always use like BPA-free type things because BPA leaches into your system and it's an estrogen disruptor. You know, some people wonder why they have, you know, breast cancer, you know, or like, where was my exposure? Nobody in my family had it. But, you know, we wear bras that are toxic. You know, and so if you're not wearing cotton, you know, it's just like, you know, and who can get a good bra that's cotton? I mean, maybe there's one that exists. I really haven't run into it. But, you know, but you like, you know, those— what your clothes have on them, you know, goes into your system also. Yeah.

Is that mainly for new clothes? Does it ever wear off the clothes? You know, like you've had clothes, you've washed them, you've had them for a year or two, does it ever dissipate or is it always there?

Well, you know, I used to think that it did that, but, you know, and I had these like 3 favorite shirts of mine that had a lot of stretch in them.

Yes.

All of a sudden they started falling apart. You know, the stretch got stretched. You know, and then, you know, I'm thinking like, when did that happen? Because I've only hand washed them. You know, I never dried them in the dryer, and I never dry black in a dryer. But it's just like one of those things that I learned. If you want to keep your clothes black, you know, because you know how they have a tendency to bleed. Although Italian clothes don't have the tendency to do that that are black. But the you know, but I just found that you know, I just wash them inside out, and I don't. them in the dryer and I let them air dry. And, um, you know, so there's— but I think that, you know, um, ideally you have to really think about what you're using to wash them with.

Yeah. What I like about what you said about all of these toxins is it's not just a matter of reading the labels and realizing you've bought something with a name that you can't pronounce or numbers that you don't recognize, and you think, oh, maybe that's not good for me. It's about doing the research of what those names, you know, what are the effects that they're having on your body. A lot of people just look at the label, but they're not doing the research. That is such a good point, that really we need to go that one step further and take that ownership and responsibility of what we're putting into our body. Well, you know, that has, like you're saying, has the direct effect with our mental health.

For sure. What people can do is they can, you know, get a binder like this if they don't like using the computer, and they can write the word down and they can get online and they can look up the side effects of, you know, like sodium benzoate. And so sodium benzoate, we talked a little bit about this before, as sometimes you see it in natural products. There's nothing natural about sodium benzoate. It's a man-made product. It doesn't exist. without it being formulated by a man. And so that's one of the things to know. And also to know what things are in there that it's just like, okay, you can even put it in ChatGPT. Here's all the ingredients. Are any— what are the side effects of these?

Yes.

I mean, that might be the fast way to do it, and then you can copy and paste it and print it out. But I think if you actually read through each one of them, there's some things that you would never use.

Yes.

Cellulose that they put in, like, you know, Parmesan cheese, it's sawdust. Who eats sawdust? You know, and it's just like, my, you know, it's just like, I don't have any Italian relatives, but I'm sure if I did, they'd be rolling over in their grave. It's like, who, like, you know, that having that fresh grated cheese, like, means a lot. So if you have, so, like, if you see cellulose on something, at least in the States, Because the States doesn't have— there's a lot of— there's like 42, I think, or 142 chemicals that are used in the States freely that, you know, are banned in Europe. So I always go by the European list. It's like, you know, if it's banned there, I'm not eating that.

Yes.

And it's just like, and why is it that it's not— it's okay to use here?

Yeah, they're a lot stricter. They're a lot stricter there. With what they allow to go into their food.

Like, your digestion, right? You know, they're eating— you're eating foods that, you know, are aggravating your system and destroying. You only have one cell layer. And, you know, it isn't a tube that goes from here and comes out the end, the bottom. There's like— it's convoluted, and it's convoluted for a good reason. Because, you know, your— the foods that you eat should churn, and they should be absorbed in certain places. Some foods should never be absorbed until the end of the intestinal tract. And some of them are absorbed beforehand. But because people's guts get damaged, they absorb these micronutrients and macronutrients through the wall, and the wall gets damaged. And it's only one layer thick. So it separates and the food goes through. And then it gets in the blood system, and then it has to go to the liver. This is the scary part. It goes to the liver. And then in the liver, what the liver does to it, its job is to detoxify. It's not— you never detoxify a liver. You tonify liver and so that the liver can detoxify better. So when you get to that point in that, for the liver, if it starts to get overwhelmed, then it starts to store it in blood, brain, bone, and fat. That's why if you eat something that's not great for you, it isn't like all of a sudden you got, oh my God, I have this exotoxin in my body. You know, it's like it builds up and it finds your weakest link. You know, so if your weakest link is usually first fatty tissue and then it goes, you know, blood, brain, bone, and fat, you know, and it's like, that's where toxins are stored in your system. So, and the problem and the reason, one of the reasons why it happens is the gut's damaged, then those toxins go back into the gut because ideally they're supposed to end up in the toilet.

Yes.

And so when they don't and they keep on recycling again and again, and the liver gets overwhelmed, the liver does store them in blood, brain, bone, and fat. And, you know, blood and brain, that's deep.

Yes.

And so, you know, and a lot of times people, you know, like, they don't, like, don't understand it. Or they, you know, they like, oh, you know, I've always eaten this. And it's like, well, like, you know, keep on eating it. It's early death because, you know, it's not the one-time exposure. It's the accumulation of the That makes so much sense.

And you can— from what you're saying, you can hear that those chemicals, like you say, in the cumulative effect, that when they go into the brain, do they cause inflammation? And inflammation can contribute to those mental health issues, to feeling low mood, which leads to negativity. So when someone's trying to deal with a negative attitude or a negative outlook on life, and somebody's saying to them, just think positive, just think positive. That's like saying to someone, just don't be depressed.

Right, it's just like, get over yourself.

Yeah, get over yourself. Well, how can you if you've got this flood of toxicity going to your brain, causing like, I would assume, a chemical imbalance?

Because you don't feel good. You know, so if you don't feel good, then, you know, like, you're not gonna digest your food well, you know, and you're gonna come across as being very iffy or edgy, as they say in Boston. So you want to, you know, it's just like when you, you have that, you're thinking like, you know, and someone goes like, why would it feel like I've got a black cloud goes everywhere with me? And it's just like, well, because, you know, you, you've gotta be You have to have that one day that you've had it and just say, I'm not doing this anymore. So when you start to think that negative thought, you're going, cancel. You've got to talk. You've got to get control of the lizard brain. There's 3 brains: the lizard brain, the mammalian brain, and the conscious brain. The lizard brain is the, you know, the 7 Fs or the 5 Fs, you know, like, you know, fornication, food, fighting, you know, and that type of thing. It's the one that you want to work. When a car pulls in front of you and you slam on the brakes, you don't want to go like, oh, look at that car pulling in front of me. Bang. You know, it's like you don't do that immediately. That's the lizard brain. But the lizard brain is also one that derails you because it talks to the mammalian brain, which stores everything that's ever happened to you in your life, all your emotions, everything. Like the bad date that I had when I was 15 years old. You know, it's just like it's there. And so when things get— if you have a similar experience, your body will react chemically in the same way it did when it had the trauma.

Yeah.

You know, so you've gotta have command. If you can command the lizard brain or the primitive brain, you know, to the conversation that you're having with it, then you can control other things. 'Cause you have to think like it needs to be a win-win. You know, and then the mammalian brain also is, I always say it's the holy grail of marketing for business because what it does is it talks to your pain point and then talks to you how to get to your good point. And then the conscious brain, which we're talking with right now, it's just like, that's the one that does the affirmations, you know, or the, you know, the things. There's a, there's a name for it. I can't think right now. But even instead of saying, say, like, you know, I am healthy, vital, active, successful human being, you would say, why is it that I'm healthy, vital, active, successful human being? And then all of a sudden your mammalian brain goes, oh yes, I know why. And it goes to answer that positive question.

That's an interesting point. So, so ask it as in curious. You're curious. Why is that? Why is it that I'm healthy, happy, and vibrant?

Like, why is it that I always attract, you know, like, you know, a lot of abundance and I'm always around people who are a lot of fun? Why is it, you know, that, you know, that I like, like, you know, get all these deals for traveling? It's because I love to travel, you know? And but that conscious brain saying that to the mammalian brain makes the mammalian brain ante up to be more positive.

Mm-hmm.

So with— if you want to even have better results, do it just when you get up in the morning and do it when you go to bed at night. Because the lizard brain's already sleeping.

Yes.

And so we don't want him to chitchat, you know. Anyway, he starts going like, oh, yeah, you know, it's just like, you know, what would you ever want to like? You know, a girlfriend of mine just decided that she was going to start dating again, you know, after like 8 years. I said, what was it after 8 years? Like, why wasn't it a month or something like that? She said, I don't know. I just got up and just said, I'm ready to go date again. And she said, and then I said that every morning as like, why is it that dating for me is so easy? And she spent like 5 or 6 guys in a very short period of time. And I'm thinking, I go, you should teach people how to do that. And also for things like manifesting money, manifesting a job, manifesting better relationships. Because when you're in that mode and thinking, then you're thinking win-win. How can we all do this together? We're all one for all, all for one.

Yes.

You know, and then, you know, if someone's really bothering you, you know, the best thing to do is just bless them for their highest good and be gone.

Yes. What about someone who's actually a little bit— like any listener listening to this who's further along, maybe a bit deeper into depression or mental health issues, and just don't have that ability to have that— it's almost like that dialectic conversation with themselves to try and lift themselves out just by even doing what you're saying, what's possible for them?

Well, I would tell them to move.

That's a good point.

You know, it's just like, you know, if you don't eat sugar ever, put it in your mouth, um, you know, and take the things out. Just like, do you really want to be healthy? Because if you really want to be healthy, you know, even though you say, like, I'm struggling and I can't do that, you can always do something one day. There's always something that you can do to improve your life every day.

Mm-hmm.

So if somebody has, you know, just like if you got this, you know, um, I'm at this Airbnb right now. This woman loves sugar, you know. And, you know, it's just like she also has all the signs of— signs and symptoms of prediabetes, you know. And I just like, I've had these conversations, like, only have it once, you know. But the thing is, is that people know that, but they still do that because their need to satisfy the inner child is bigger than their need to survive.

Wow, that's a really good point.

And so if you feed, it's just like, so if you want to feed the inner child, if you had a child, you wouldn't poison them.

Yes.

So why are you poisoning yourself? You know, and like, you know, and sugar was originally a drug. I mean, it's like, it's even more addictive than they say cocaine. But I wouldn't No, I personally have any— I never had any personal experience. I never asked anybody those kind of questions in my office. It just wasn't the time and space to do that. And but I think that people have to look at, like, you know, they have to reframe how they look at themselves. I had a person in my office who was very depressed. I mean, when she talked, she talked really slowly and very softly. You know, and so, um, I started letting her husband come into the room when she got adjusted.

Wow.

You know, and I'm going— and I said to her, I go, so tell me what's really going on. Like, why do you sit on the couch all day long? You know, and so, and I said, do you feel like your husband's— has— you're not in control of yourself anymore? So you just gave in to it? I'm just curious. I said, you can say anything. Whatever you say to me, he says to me. I said, I just don't want him in the room when I'm adjusting you because I want it to be your time in your space. So if you wanted to lay on the table and go like this, you know, I could— you could do that. And she started laughing.

Yes.

I asked her, I said, so anytime that you're feeling depressed, think about me doing that. I said, it'll make you laugh all the time. You know, and, and she just said, you know, she says, and he told me that, you know, when he says, you know, we got an appointment at Dr. Pat's, she goes, she's like up and moving around to get ready to come. You know, so I go, if you ever want to just like— because she lived close— if you ever want to just like get out of your house and you can walk over here and get exercise, I've got all these really cool magazines in my waiting room and you can sit in there and read magazines if you want. I don't care. It's fine. You can hang out. I have a nice office. You can, you know, go do that.

Yes.

And I said, you can't stay here at lunch. And I said, or when I close, you know, but I go, but you can be here when it's open anytime. It's fine, you know, and it's always good to have someone in the waiting room. It looks like I'm busy. And so she's like, you know, and she just chuckles. She goes, oh, you're so funny, you know, Dr. Pat. And she goes, I wish I had your sense of humor. I said, you do. Because if you didn't have my sense of humor, you wouldn't laugh.

Well, that's a good point. It's just that it's buried under a whole lot of, um, you know, and the way that they're obviously, um, viewing life. And for anybody who doesn't understand why Dr. Pat said, um, adjust, is because I didn't actually introduce that part, that you are actually a chiropractor as well.

Yes.

Otherwise people think, what's she talking about? Yes.

You know, when I work with trauma with people, or of like whatever trauma is, like as a general term, um, you know, I had a girl who, um, I was at a working in an event, um, to about a year and a half ago and, um, near, um, Orlando. And so, you know, when she was there, when she opened her mouth, everybody cringed. I mean, literally, it was like this because her— she was so— instead of being depressed, she was aggressive, you know. And but that was, to me, is a form of depression. So, um, and she was— I don't— I was thinking, I can't listen to this girl for the whole weekend, you know. I go, I gotta have a conversation with her. So I walked up to her and asked her if I could help her out, and I wanted to give her a compliment. She goes, what do you want to do that for? You know, I said, well, and I said, the reason I want to do that is because I love your tenacity, and I just wanted to tell you that if you used it in a more positive way, you could get anything you wanted. I said, would that interest you? Because I can help you do that. And so she said, sure. And she— and, um, and I said to her, so why are you so angry? And so she said— and then she told me, and she had a breakup with somebody that was really bad who lied who made a very, very, very significant lie to her. And so I said to her, okay. And I said, so I go, let's find out who you're really mad at. And so I asked where I could go work with her. This is funny. I asked where I go work with her. Not that what she had going on was funny, but the circumstance. And so we walked. They said, you know, you can use the closet. Now, Florida, you know, most places there, their walk-in closets are the size of a small bedroom. And so we walked in the closet and we closed the door and I'm talking to her and We didn't have a lot of time, so I just thought I would just cut to the chase and do this technique that I know for helping people rid those emotions so that she could go live her life, you know, full out and, you know, and live up to her full human potential. Because that's my goal when I'm working with people, no matter what I'm doing, the facial exercises, whatever I'm doing. And so, you know, I just said to her, and I thought about it, and I said, what happened when you were 7 years old? And it's just a number that came to me, and I don't know where it came from, but it's just like— and so when I have that intuition, I just follow it. And she goes, my mother left. And I said, she ever come back? You know? And she said, no. And, um, are you— do you talk to your mother now? She goes, yes. I said, how's your relationship with her? She said, sucks. It was just like bang. I said, I go, Okay. You know, and, um, so with a little bit of deep diving, as she went in there, she said she had neck pain. If you look on my LinkedIn profile, you can see her testimonial that's on there. And, um, she had back pain and like neck pain. And so when we went through this process of identifying a person, place, thing, or an event that happened and who it was and where in your body it's stored. all these acupuncture points that are on the body, and some of them relate specifically to an organ system. And then in her case, I said to her, we did this program, we have this conversation, and she's crying profusely. And I said, keep on crying. And I said, it's good for you. Doesn't it feel good? Except that really screws your makeup up. I said, but other than that, and I said, you might have to go back down too, because this was the For models and actresses, you know. And so she just said, you know, when she got done and we got done, and I said, so how do you feel? She goes, I have no neck pain and I have no back pain. I can't believe I've carried that around for so many years.

Mm-hmm.

And I just felt like, isn't that cool? I said, I love this stuff. So when we went to walk back in the room, because it was like a big family room, there was now about 40 people in there. And I said, when I came out, I said, we're coming out of the closet. You know, and, you know, and she started laughing. But the thing was, is that all these people who were there who know her, they just looked at her and they're like, oh my God, you look so relaxed.

Wow.

You know, it's just like that whole emotional trauma that she's carried on and other things that happened in relationship to that, you know. And then, you know, she— I saw her later on at a We had a big cast party that night, and she comes running up to me. She goes, you are my new best friend. I said, I'm not your best friend. And I said, I go, I just helped you. And she goes, you can be my new best friend. It's okay. I know you're fighting it. Everything she said was so negative before. Now she's being funny.

Yes.

And it was such a pleasure to see that with her. And she wasn't in a good place in her life at that time. She got to a point where she was homeless, living out of her car. She now has an apartment. She's got income, and she's got furniture, and she has buying power. And she just said, like, I just don't know what would have happened if I didn't see you that day. She goes, I was on the spiral, and I couldn't figure out how to get out of it. But when we look at, like, why is it that I keep on hitting the wall? Why do I keep on sabotaging myself? And if you can find out what that reason and where that's buried at, then you can go through a process that helps release that. It isn't like it's going to go away. It isn't like, oh, I'm going to forget about the whole thing. But at least when you think about it, your body's not responding to it like the mammalian brain does and make you sicker and sicker and sicker. And so it's just a very cool technique. I had my mentors in San Diego who taught me that. And I just like when I've opened Pandora's box many times in my office when I started to do that technique on somebody. And like, you never know what you're going to get. So I had to really stop doing it when I was actually trying to do work during the daytime. Because if somebody has a— I'm always like, honey, we're doing this. Like, you're not going anyplace. We're going to fix this. We're going to figure this out and we're going to get this handled. And I'd walk in my waiting room going, if anybody wants to reschedule, you can reschedule or come back. And they're always curious, like, Who do you got back there? None of your business. You know, I would let them out the back door so they didn't have to go out the front door and get, get grooved. But it was, it was such a pleasure to see, you know. And, um, and it was like, you know, even, you know, I've had husbands come in and say like, thank you very much for giving me my wife back. I mean, but I'm thinking, who are you?

Yeah.

I don't know who it was. Who's your wife? And so it's just when I was in active practice and I was doing that, I didn't realize how much power that really had for people and how forgiving that was. Because even when in the girl in the closet thing, I said, so what are you going to do about forgiving yourself? Every person's different that I work with with that. So it's just like you never know what alley you're gonna go down. You know, I had a girl had a splotch on her leg that was about maybe 2 and a half, 3 inches wide at the widest part of it, and it's kind of tailored out. So how long have you had that? She goes, oh, like maybe like 15 years. She's 40. Like 15 years. I go, you didn't have it when you were born? You know, she says, no. So it's not a birthmark? No. What do you think? I go, When did it start? I go, how old were you? And I was working in somebody else's office to cover for them for a vacation. I said, I go, are you open to finding out where that comes from? Because this affects your mental health. And when you look in the mirror and you kind of go and you keep on seeing something you don't like on your face, it makes you feel insecure. It's just like, so how do I camouflage it? What do I do about that?

Yes.

And so in her case, when we went through that process, You know, I was working with her virtually, and I just, you know, at some point in time, she was so irritated. You know, I thought she—I was in front of her; she'd strangle me. And and she was so irritated, and I said, "I don't care if you hate me," and I said, "But I want to know who do I remind you of right now? Your mother or your father?" And she was like, "There was no sound. You could have heard a pin drop three states away," and she just said. To me? She goes, my father. And so I said, let's talk about your father. Let's take that edge off. Let's take the hold that he has on you off so that you can be around in that situation and it doesn't affect you.

Yes.

And people have that all the time. So I sometimes think when people have those situations that their mental wellness You know, it's just like they've been letting the lizard brain chat too much, you know, and then, like, and which makes the mammalian brain, oh, yes, I remember that. Yes. And that happened too. And then that happened too, you know. So when something good happens, your mammalian brain's going like, and the lizard brain's going, oh, no, we know what that is. You know, it's just like, we don't want to interact. We don't want to be a big mouth and open our mouth and say something because we don't want— we're going to get yelled at. And we get yelled at, we feel bad. So I just think you should do the yelling. You don't have to worry about feeling bad. And so being able to say things. And so I used to help patients come up with and advocate for them for, what do you want to ask your doctor? Because people are intimidated by their doctors.

They are. They are.

And it's just like, this is what you ask them. You know, you go, how many minutes do we have? You know, and so you go in with your list, you know, and just say, you know, um, I want— this is what I want to tell you. They interrupt you, excuse me, I'm talking now. I'm paying for the session, you know. And it's just like— and then you tell them, it's like, I need to know this, this, this, and this and this.

What are some of the good questions? I'm very much about this podcast and everything that I do is very much about empowering people to advocate for themselves. That this— those doctor's appointments are for you. They are your appointment. You're paying for them, and you shouldn't really walk away without an answer because you don't pay for a service somewhere else and accept that you don't get an answer. What are some questions that you can, um, tell our listeners, uh, that would be good ones to ask a doctor about? Just general ones. We don't get specific because you don't know what someone's dealing with. But What are some of the general questions to go deeper and have them so they can advocate for themselves?

Well, you first have to make your presence known. You're either an alpha or you're a follower. So if you're going to, if you're going to have a conversation with a medical doctor, you want to let him know that he needs to speak to you on your level. And if he can't speak to you on your level, then he needs to get an interpreter, even if you speak the same language. Because you have to be able to walk away with the understanding of what he said. And so many people, you know, who— and I'm sure your, you know, people can relate to this— they get home, their wives go, so what did he say? Just like, he said, I'm all right.

Absolutely. You get that all the time.

$100 to go see this guy and he's all right. You know, it's like, that's what he said. So, you know, and, you know, and then educate yourself on, you know, it's just like when you go in there and just say, I just want to let you know, because You know, you have Google, right?

Yes.

And so you say, here's my symptoms, you know, that I have. And when you do a differential diagnosis, you know, what are the possibilities based upon my symptoms here? And you can even put those in Google. You know, it's just like, I have the following symptoms. What are my possibilities? Because if you buy the Merck's Manual, which has all the symptoms and diseases, etc., in it, You will see the same thing again and again and again and again. That's why it's called a differential diagnosis. It's a working diagnosis of what they come with first. So, you know, I was in a doctor's office and I was paying for cash out of pocket for the op, that visit. And I, because I wanted to get a second opinion about something. And this guy, you know, when he was in there, I just asked him where he was from. I mean, it's just, just something friendly. And he turned around, you know, um, and, uh, he told me he's from Albania. And I said, oh, I've never been to Albania. He goes, what do you want to go there for? I mean, he went off on a tangent. And, um, I just said, got up and I said, well, you know, I don't think this is going to be a good fit today. And I'm sorry that, you know, that I wasted the time here, you know, for you, or you wasted the time because you just didn't ask me a real question. And I said, so I'm going to leave. And he goes, wait a minute, what are you going to leave? You know, so when I said, I'm leaving, I'm not having a conversation with you. This, this meeting's over. And, you know, and because I'm thinking I'm paying for it, I'm dictating it. And so when I went up to the front desk to let her know that I'm not paying for it, she goes, but, you know, you owe us $400. I said, I don't owe you anything. You know, and I said, I didn't have an exam. I started to have a conversation and the doctor got rude, crude, and totally unattractive. I'm not talking to them, you know.

That's the confidence that people need to develop. So especially when you have, um, negativity, or you feel that you, you have negativity, or you have depression or low mood, those conversations can be difficult for someone to feel that they've got the courage and self-esteem to have with their doctor.

For sure.

So how can they start making a paradigm shift With them, with their mindset?

Go in with questions that are already written down, you know, and just say, you know, it's like when, you know, I went into— I needed a new, like, general doctor, and I went in to go meet her. And so I just, you know, I went in and she's, you know, asking me these questions. And she goes, well, when's the last time that, you know, you had a mammogram? I said, I don't get mammograms, I get thermograms. And she said, well, you know, they're like— and I just said, I already read the research. Next question. And, you know, because you have to be your voice. You have to. It's like if it was your child that the doc— and like, and like, you know, doctors, like, they're human beings too. So if you like imagine them with mustard all over their bodies, you know, it's just like then you're talking to somebody who's like your, like, you know, your friend, you know, or ask them to take their white coat off. You're only having a conversation. It isn't like you're breathing germs all over the place. There's germs everywhere in there anyway. You know, one of the most toxic places to be is a hospital, you know.

Absolutely.

Right. And, you know, so, you know, having them just like, you know, go in with— and if they don't, if they're having a hard time talking, just go in with your, your, like, your message, right? And just hand it to them. And all you have to say in the beginning of it, I need these questions answered before I leave this office.

That's a good suggestion. Yes. It's like I'm not interested.

I'm not interested. And you know, they like talking to say, can we? You know, I'll just say politely, excuse me, can we stay on topic? Yes. Yes. You know, assess in and then when you go like, and if they say, you know, it's like it's. A lot. Like, you know, they'll go like, how are you doing? You know, how are you doing is such a vague conversation. You know, it's like asking you like, well, it's sunny outside and you can look outside. Yep, it's sunny. You can both agree it's sunny. But it's just like, I don't need to talk about it.

Mm-hmm.

You know, it's just like I'm going in with a specific problem. I have stomachaches. You know, I don't feel good. You know, I'm mentally fatigued all the time. You know, and like, I hate my job, I hate my husband, I don't want to be a mother, you know, I hate all these things. It's just like, you know, and then having them give you a medication doesn't necessarily resolve the problem. You know, you would be better off, you know, talking to somebody who could adjust your food intake, you know, and, and that type of thing. And, you know, and also, like, you know, but if you got it, you just have to do your research before you go in.

Yes.

If you have access to AI, use AI. Just, I'm going into the doctor, these are my symptoms, what questions should I ask them?

Yep. We're so much more fortunate now that we have all of that. And in regards to, in regards to somebody who, you know, may have, um, lower self-esteem or anything like that, how can our audience listening today learn to start building resilience? Because we kind of, you kind of need resilience to move forward. Sorry.

You know, do things that you like. You know, do what makes you happy. If making you happy is like cooking dinner, cook dinner. If making you happy, you know, is like, you know, playing with your dog, you know, then play with your dog. You know, if making you happy— if you do what makes you happy, you know, then, you know, for instance, You know, if you like to write or you like to draw, draw, get a piece of paper out, you know, and write down one word. It doesn't matter if you like to write and you can't. I mean, I have writer's block. I mean, I wrote 4 books. It's like I write, I have writer's block. It's like I have when, you know, I've actually, they've been, when they're published, I'm thinking, God, did I write that? I'm like going back and reading that. I can't believe I wrote that. And You know, and then, you know, award yourself. Celebrate everything that's positive in your life. You know, a baby smile, celebrate it. It's like, oh my God, doesn't that make me feel so good? And someone goes, why is that? You go, because it does. You don't have to explain yourself to anybody.

I suppose gratitude sort of, um, goes hand in hand with that. Like gratitude, being grateful for things Helps build your resilience. Is that right?

It will, you know, because, you know, even if you go— I have people walk. So if you can only do 10 minutes walk, then the first minute you're doing your breathing, you know, and I have you— I have people pinch their fingers while they're walking, you know, so they're breathing like, breathe in and touch your fingertips. These are all the points for your acupuncture points for your heart, for your small intestine, for your pericardium, for your heart, for your circulation, for your lungs and your large intestine. You know, it's just like first thing in the morning, you want to stimulate those points. And that's an easy way.

So you're actually touching— for the listeners, you're actually touching the tips of your fingers, your fingertips.

And they're called Jing Well points. And in Chinese, they're important, you know, because Either the meridian ends there or it starts there. And so the meridians from the hands go up and go to the neck and to the face, and then they go from the face down to the feet, and from the feet they come back up and go to the chest, and from the chest they go out to your hands. It's a very, very— it's like my big realization about Chinese medicine and why it's all connected like that. I'm going like, wow, that's just so cool when you realize that.

Yeah.

But your finger, your toes, the tips of your toes, and also your fingers. But when you're walking and you just do 1 minute of breathing like that, you just— for me, what I tell people to do, if you're walking and you see a stop sign halfway down the block, just walk till you see the stop sign in doing that. And then you can go into, what am I grateful for? And so I'm grateful for being on the show with you and our great conversation we had before we started. You know, I'm grateful for, you know, my kids, you know, for— I'm grateful for, you know, like, all these things. And it's like, the more that you're grateful, the more it elevates your energy.

Yes.

So when something off happens, go take a shower, get those electrons off of you, you know. And if you go take a shower, then you can get, like, you know, wash up, you know, and you can start your day all over again, you know. And you can say, like, wow, I feel so good. And the more you say, I feel good, you know, there's songs out like, you know, I feel good, you know. And when you say that and you talk to yourself, that's the part of the lizard brain. Because now I'm not— I'm in that— well, it's my conscious brain right now. But if I'm saying I feel good, then I have only the opportunity to live up to that moment, you know. And the more I say that I feel good, the more you'll feel good. And then you can elevate it even more. and say, I feel great.

Yes.

You know, especially on days that you don't— you know, when I first started learning to do that, there's days that I kind of went— I was in chiropractic school and I was so overwhelmed with how much stuff I had to study. I many times I just told somebody, I'm gonna, I'm gonna quit. I'm just not gonna do this anymore. And they went like, let's go get a taco over at Taco Max, this place that was around school, and just like So, you know, I was like, what are you going to— I'm going to have a tostada. It's like, so you're eating a tostada. You're going like, isn't this food make you happy? That's what a friend said to me one time. Isn't this food making you happy? You know? And it's like— and I was like, well, yeah, it does. So you're going to quit? No, it does. And because you just figure it out, there's always— if there's a will, there's a way.

Yes.

And then if you honor that, you know, like, I feel good. If you start every day off because you have in control what happens in the rest of the day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, everything's up to you. You know, it's not a big burden. It's a blessing. You know, so if you say my day is a blessing, I feel good, I feel happy, I feel terrific. You know, when someone comes up to you and say, like, what do you got this sweater on for? And just like, whoop, thanks for sharing that with me. And you just, and you just move on. And you could actually either mentally or physically just take your hand up and push their energy back. It's just like, you know, that negative energy doesn't have a hold on you unless you let it. And just like, you just push it back, you know.

Creating boundaries, I guess creating boundaries really helps. And it sounds like to shift Into a more positive and energetic mood or vibe or change, or it's just small steps.

Yeah, you didn't have to be huge just to— and for sure there's a rule that I have called the rule of one. And the rule of one is like, you know, start your day with, you know, like, you know, walk, you know, if you're gonna go walk, you know, walk, you know, like 2 steps if you have to, turn around and come back. Next day, walk 3 steps. Next day, walk 4 steps. And start your day off, make sure you drink enough hydration. You know, have your water in your BPA container and a straw so you can drink more water because you should be drinking 50% of your body weight in ounces. And I know that we figured that out, that 16 ounces was 450 milliliters earlier.

Yes.

According to my bottle. It's not because I know it. And, you know, so if you have that and you're going, oh, God, I'm supposed to have, you know, like, I weigh 150 pounds, I need 75 ounces of water a day. You know, it's just like, so, you know, you don't want to go out and suddenly start drinking 70 ounces when you've only been drinking 10.

Yes.

Go out and just, like, you know, decided, like, you know, you can, if you use a straw, then you're able to, you will trust me. Be able to drink more water, and your body will like it. You'll sleep better, you'll think better, you'll feel better, you'll move better, you'll make better decisions just from that one thing for hydration, because you need it for your joints, your muscles. You need it so that your brain can detox and stay away from sugar.

Yes.

I mean, just say, you know, just say thank you, but no thank you. It's like your friends who like Well, let's go and let's order dessert. They go, oh, just have one spoonful. No, you don't understand. I don't eat sugar, and I don't want sugar in my life because it makes me feel lethargic. It makes me feel spacey. It gives me ADHD, and it gives me pimples. It isn't good for your skin. I can't think of anything that it's good for. Because there's sugar already in other things. Yes. And it's just like added sugar, even in meat. Like if you get turkey, processed. You've got to read labels. That's the big thing.

Yes.

But start small. Just start with the rule of one. I'm going to walk. I'm going to do exercise. It's raining outside. Well, I'm going to walk up my steps going up to my second floor, and I'm going to walk back down. That's one. Next day, do 2. And it's like when you start doing an exercise. I recently decided I wanted to do a backbend. Remember doing backbends?

Yes.

You know, those gymnastic people who are like, when they do them, I was going, oh my God, how do they do them now? So the other day I decided I was going to try to do one again. I haven't done one in like 40 years. And so I went like, oh my God, I have no upper body strength. You know, so I've done a modified one because I want to get my arms strong enough so that when I press and push, I actually am pressing and pushing from power. So it's just like I'm taking that baby step. I didn't try to do 20 of them, you know. I just did one. You know, and the next I'm going like, oh my God. And I work out, I work my shoulders, you know, and I walk, you know, a minimum. of 2.5 miles every day.

Fantastic.

So my watch, so my, my little thing tells me, you know, and I know, and so it's those things like that, you know, and, you know, and I can see the change, you know, in doing, you know, what the things feel like. Because sometimes we get used to our life so much that all of a sudden you realize, well, I used to take niacinamide as a supplement, you know, when I was 45. You know, it's like you'll just wake up and thinking, why did I stop doing that? And you don't really have a good reason. You might have went on a trip, you know, or, you know, you go on a trip, you're doing really good on your diet. You go on a trip and because you're on a diet, you say to yourself, I can— I owe this to myself. Yeah. You know, I had a client one time, the same person that had the spot on her leg, and eventually, by the way, ended up going to be small.

Yes.

You know, after she got her emotional stuff connected and she did, you know, we changed her diet a little bit. She calls me up and said, someone gave me a free ticket to go to Costa Rica. You know, they won this prize. It was 2 for 1. And they asked me if I wanted to go. And she said, do you think I can drink when I'm there? And I just said to her, you can do whatever you want to do. You're an adult woman. You know, I'm not your mother and I'm not your father. And I said, I know you think I'm your father sometimes. I said, but I'm not your father. But, you know, and I said, so you put so much time and energy into self-care and loving yourself. I mean, look at the spot on your leg. You know, it's much smaller. You know, and I said, and look at where you're at. You know, you paid me a lot of money to go from point A to point Z. You know, and, and I said, so if you want to take a couple steps back or maybe have to start back at ground zero again, you know, then, you know, then drink, you know. And I said, but know why you're drinking.

Yes. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? It's actually being conscious of what we do, take responsibility for what we do, own what we're doing. And, you know, you can see why when we're carrying all this emotional baggage We do develop dis-ease or conditions in our body, including mental health issues. So what are— to end the conversation, what are your favorite, just a couple of your very favorite lifestyle solutions that anyone can do for their mental health starting immediately?

Drink more water. Just don't drink it from the tap, you know. Drink really good filtered water and make sure that you're getting enough hydration. You know, if you want to lose weight, it's a great way to do that also. And it's very supportive of that. You know, and I always— I must— I sound like a, you know, like a broken record. Drink, drink, drink more water.

It is.

Yeah. You know, put lemon in if you don't like the taste of water. But, you know, and the other thing is to move. You've got to move. One of the things I always see when I had my office, you know, when I was seeing patients, you know, very regularly, And even clients is that when they get depressed, they don't move. They shut down and they go in their cave. So make your cave the world.

Yeah. Fantastic. I love that.

And just give yourself a goal. Like when you first start exercising, you don't go out and run 5 miles. And it's just like, that's why you have a coach. by you have somebody that you can be accountable with. Like, find somebody who wants to walk with you. You know, if no one wants to walk with you, then pretend you have— like, remember when you were 5 years old? You remember you had an imaginary friend? So you can have an imaginary friend. It's like, it's even better if you're walking in the city and you're talking to that imaginary friend because no one will come by you. It's a good way to get rid of people, by the way. You know, and but you know that, you know, that, you know, like, you know what the joke is. And so, you know, but just go out and do things like you want to move, you know, and if you want to sleep well, you know, these are my 5 pillars of health. So if you want to sleep well, then you need to make your room dark as possible.

Mm-hmm.

Because I'm light sensitive, you know, so it's just like if there's light coming through, you know, but when I lived in a big city, the people that lived across from me had this stupid spotlight that always came into my bedroom. And I went and knocked on their door in the other building. Can you turn that light in a different direction? It's coming directly right in. How about the parking lot? You can point it that direction. And they did. But it's just like, you have to get your sleep. And if you can't— and also another way to fall asleep is just give your permission itself to do it.

That's a good point.

A lot of times people— and also I say to people, people, I said like, oh, I'm really worried about this. I go, you have to ask yourself, is there anything in God's green earth that I can do about that right now to resolve that? And if there is, get up and do it. If it's not, dictate it on a phone, write it on a piece of paper, keywords, so you won't forget it the next day, because then it's there. It isn't going to get up and walk out of the room in the middle of the night.

Yes.

Unless you have dice. But it's just, but, you know, it's just that you have those pieces of the puzzle and then you can look at it the next day and it'll also give you a much fresher perspective, you know? And if you go to sleep, you can also say like, oh, I've got this issue and this problem going on. If you close your eyes and think about and write it like you have it on the chalkboard in front of you and just say, I'm going to have a solution to that when I get up in the morning. And then give yourself permission to go to sleep. Play binaural beats. That will help you sleep too. But you want to play like delta— not delta, alpha, because delta is when you're up and beta is when you're up. And so you want something that gives your brain to rejuvenate it and it's relaxful. I mean, that's why Beethoven and Mozart and all the music is a certain frequency. frequency, you know, and everything is frequency, you know. So there's a lot of— you see these sound beds that people are laying in, all of a sudden they became famous, you know. And, you know, where, like, you know, like 8 years ago, if you told somebody that you're gonna go jump in, you know, cryobath— that's something for someone to try to do. I haven't done it for my face yet, but when you go into a cryobath where you're going into, like, ice cold water, you know, you're thinking, I can't believe I'm doing this. And then you get used to it, and then you kind of like it. You're only in there for like 3 minutes, then you get out, you know, and you're going. And then all of a sudden, because what it does when you get out, your pores open and you're suddenly warm, the circulation goes up. People have told me that have gone into the booths that they have gone in and they have pain-free, you know, and then they also sleep the best night's sleep they've ever had. So I haven't tried that, but I have done the bath part.

I heard it's fabulous for your health.

And you can do it for your face too. Like, you just put ice and water in a bowl, like a big bowl, clearly, and then put your face in it and let it see how long you do it. I haven't done that one either, but I'd like to do it because it's supposed to really rejuvenate and excite the, um, the fascia around the muscle to tighten up, you know. And then you also have, you know, like the collagen. When that happens, then it stimulates collagen production too. Fantastic. Cool. So I've got like a bunch of those tips. And, you know, positive mental attitude, you know. When someone says you can't, just say, watch me. You don't have to—

That's the key, isn't it? Don't let people— don't let people govern The way you're going to live your life and put their negativity onto you or their limitations onto you.

That's why you put your hand and you push it back. You go, thanks for sharing it with me. You know, that's what I used to say when I— before I was getting divorced from my husband. Thanks for sharing it with me.

You know, Dr. Pat, you were— you are the author of the book Why Are You Sick, Fat, and Tired? So I'm sure that all our listeners can race out and grab that book because it will have everything that we've been talking about today, I assume.

Primarily, it's a workbook that's a lot— it's a workbook guidebook and advocating tool. So if you take that, like for instance, we're talking about what could you ask the doctor, right? If you take that book and you do the questionnaire in there, it will have a chart and you can chart out your— it has 11 organ systems. There's 12 chapters. There's one for male, one for female. That's why it's 11 organ systems. And when you answer that, you can see the pattern of your health, of what's going on with you right now. I recommend getting the book in paper, not on digital, because I can tell you I have a lot of digital books on this telephone, and it's just like I haven't got to them yet. And some of my books are like maybe like 45 hours, things like that. So I try to travel as much as possible so I can just listen to them while I'm driving. You know, but the— it's a workbook, guidebook, and advocating tool so that you can ask better questions, you know, and because— and then it looks at your organ system so you can see where your weakest link is and where your strongest link. You want to know. It's not just good enough to know what's not happening. You want to know what's happening for you because you need that. You need that as your foundation, and it helps you know what your bottom line is. You know, and then you fortify what's high, and you so it balances out. You know, and that's the big part of that. You know, the and then I coach from that book for people are in my bigger coaching programs. We go through that book, and we look at like you know what is your weakest link? You know, it's just like why is it your weakest link? I'm always the that's the why are you sick, fat, and tired? You know, because a lot of people have those. symptoms and they just don't know why. But if you look in the 11 organ systems, somebody asked me one time and said, well, what do you do for myofibroblasts? And I just said, well, and I said, you didn't read the book. And she said, go read the book. And I said, I go and then get back to me. Then she said, what do you do for chronic fatigue? I said, you didn't read the book. Because all disease processes have one thing in common. You know, as that's— that is inflammation. Yes. You got to find out where the inflammation's buried, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or social. You've got to know where that is, because if you do that, it releases that, and then you can have financial freedom.

That's amazing. Dr. Pat, thank you so much for coming on the show. You have a wealth of information in so many areas. And for our audience, really get the book, have a read, book in if you feel that you have, you know, any health or mental health issues. Please book in with Dr. Pat because she has so many solutions for you with a good dose of sense of humor to go along with it. And you do, you do yourself a favor. Please, all of Dr. Pat's Uh, details will be in the show notes where you can contact, book in with her, or learn more about what she does. Really, it's, it's worth the investment. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you.

I would love to know what was the biggest insight or aha moment you got from this interview so you can now Speak up, take action, and make informed decisions for your health. And if you like this episode, get instant access to your free ebook, Alternative Wisdom: Taking Back Control of Your Health, at life-onus.com.