Sara Al Madani | How to Spot a Narcissist and Create Healthy Relationships

What's the most abusive relationship you've ever had?

Oh, my God. What are we talking about? Physical, emotional, financial?

You tell me. Like the most abusive one.

I mean, look, my relationships were always with narcissistic men. And I have full accountability because I was the one broken and I was attracting them. But. But narcissists don't come in one shape and form. Some are abusive mentally, some are physically. It depends on what level of narcissism they are. And some are even abusive financially. Like, they'll abuse you financially. So I'd say which is the worst of the three? The worst, actually. No, hold on. I had one that had almost three.

Of them, all three traits combined. Oh, wow.

And I feel like that relationship was my wake up call, right? Like, that was the slap to the face that told me, girl, you don't love yourself, you don't respect yourself, you don't do anything for yourself. You're like, literally selling yourself just to receive love. And that's what I did.

Wow. So what happened?

So the thing is, we can easily fall in this game of victimhood where I'd say, oh, they're toxic, they're a narcissist. And blame people and point fingers, right? But after a while, if you're conscious enough, you realize I'm not growing. If I blame people, I need to take that finger, point it back at me, and then look at why do I have this trait? Or why do I have this pattern of attracting similar partners? Like, I have an issue. Because narcissistic people, after a while, they show you who they are. And the. The question is, why? Why did you stay? So that was the question I asked myself. And then I realized I have a problem. You know, they've always shown me who they were. I stayed. I have a problem. So, yeah, it's just switching your mindset, putting your ego aside and telling it, listen, I need to look at myself. So step back, you know? And I feel like that's the hardest thing a lot of people cannot do. They cannot step out of their ego and say, okay, it's my fault, just because they were abused, you know? And I'm not saying people who were abused were not victims. I was abused. I was physically abused. I was mentally abused, financially abused. But for me to heal and grow, I need to speak the truth and say, listen, you are part of the problem. It takes two to tango. It takes two to clap. You don't clap with one hand. So that that wake up call was that guy who had all these traits and he Took me. He dragged me down the road, and I found myself. So there is, you know, one crazy thing. I always say that I love all my exes for everything they've done because they shaped me. They formed me, they were my teachers, and they were my mirrors for me to look at myself. And, you know, I sometimes sit to rob and I imagine. I say, what if my first marriage worked out or my second marriage? Like, what if things were perfect and, you know, in another world? I don't want that. I don't want. I never would go back and want things to be perfect because I would not be resilient, not be brave, not be strong, not be a lot of things. You know, these relationships have shaped me, informed me. Yeah.

So how do you spot a narcissist? What are the signs?

I mean, after the degree I have in narcissism.

Look, and a master's degree and a post bachelor's by the sound of it.

I mean, I. I've. You have no idea. I spent years and years and years and I promised myself, because I'm. I'm a light worker. I love people and. And I love educating people. And I feel like there is no meaning to life unless you're giving. And that's just who I am. I love the way I am. And I said, damn, I've been through a lot. And it was painful in every shape and form. And I said, I don't want anyone to go through this. Not just women, men. Because narcissistic women are extremely, like, toxic and evil as well. They're like. Some say they're worse than men, you know, in relationships. And I probably. You've heard stories of women taking everything from a man and leaving him, like, on the road with nothing, you know, so. So I promised myself that I don't want anyone to go through this, and I want to educate about this. And that's why, you know, when I'm on social media and I speak about a lot, people are like, we're sick of the topic. You know, change the topic. I'm not going to change the topic. I'm going to talk about healing, talk about narcissism. And if people can't relate to it, it's fine. Because how can a person who had a perfect life relate to me saying I'm with a guy that when he gets angry, he blacks out, his pupils dilate, he looks like he's possessed. The next morning, he doesn't remember anything he's done. It's crazy. So nobody believes it. And not a lot of people can relate to it. But it's my mission to wake up as much people as I can.

So what are like top three or five warning signs, red flags of narcissists?

I mean, are we talking about just taking a look at a person knowing.

From the outside, give us some warning signs? Okay, what are the flags?

I mean, the flags is obviously the typical things you see online. You know, they're grandiose, they're self observed, they don't care about anybody but them. They would do anything to steal the attention and the light. Even if you're talking about something about your life, they will make it about their life. You know, they're insecure, so they're always, you know, reminding you of who they are, what they do. But these are the typical things that you can learn online. But when I went deeper into this, there is physical signs that I can pick up from a person when they walk into the room. Like it's the way they walk, their hand movements, their eyes. Their eyes, I swear to God. And I know that I've actually posted a video about this and people started laughing, but people who went through narcissism, narcissistic abuse, they were like, oh my God, I know what you're talking about. It's that look in the eye, that, that, how do I put this? Like there's no soul. Like it's empty. And when you look at it, you feel it. You can come in dressed in all brands and act like a nice person and all that, but energy doesn't lie. Pick up the energy. You feel uncomfortable when they walk in, the way they talk, the way they walk, their hand movements, they're, they're uncomfortable. They look around a lot. So in my book I describe everything in details about that. But there are ways to pick it up, even from body language. You know, it's, it's easy. They give themselves away. You know, they're not that good of, of actors. Unless you're a person that has trauma. Unless you're an empath that doesn't know how to control their empathy. With no boundaries, you are their favorite meal on the menu. They'll skip dessert, they'll skip the, the, the, the, the, the appetizers. They'll go to the main course, which is you. They like to feed on that because you are basically a house with no door. Anybody can enter. You know, so yeah.

So what was broken about you that attracted narcissists?

I think it comes from childhood. It started, I remember because I've done the healing, I've Done the work. So I went back to these days and I relived them. When I was young, I really, really, really loved one of my teachers. I was I think five or four, four and a half. And I loved her so much. But she was extremely abusive and she used to hit us, she used to scream at us, she used to belittle us. And then some of the kids in class had her, had her attention already. And I would do anything to get her attention because I loved her. Like she was awesome to me. And I feel like that started training me to, okay, if you want someone's attention and love, you got to give up so much. And whatever she told us to do, I would do. Even if it's like carry these books, stand up the whole time in class I would do. And sometimes she would tell me, oh, you want me to like you? No eating and two breaks and I would not eat. And then that went on to like, I had relatives who were narcissistic, I had friends who were narcissistic. So it was basically me being pre programmed from, from when I was 4. But when you're older you realize that, Damn it, that 4 year old is riding this 30 something year old body and taking decisions for her. So I had to go back, relive it, acknowledge that child, wanted validation, wanted acknowledgment, had to go back and just revisit everything. And then, you know, when you find out what is that moment where the switch flipped and the trauma started. When you go back to that day, that time, oh my God, you feel like you're relieved. Although a lot of people told me this is wrong, you're doing this because of childhood trauma, People told me so many things and yeah, it makes a lot of sense. But when I went back to that memory, and I thank healing for that.

What was the memory?

The memory of the high school, the school, the teacher. When I was young, when I went back, I remember when I did the healing, I, I was in meditation and I went back and I saw her. I even remember her smell. I remembered her perfume, the class smell. And I was like, oh my God, this is where it all started. So when you go back to that, that moment where it all happened, it's like you can end everything that happened after that in just a moment. But you need to go to that place, you need to validate that child, you, that which is you, the younger version of you. You need to see her, you need to tell her, I see you. It's okay, you're safe now. You don't need to do this anymore. I have become a woman that can protect you and the woman that you didn't have that day to protect you. So it's like a conversation you have with your inner child.

Wow. Yeah, My therapist, she used to do that a lot. Yeah, I didn't really like it. I just want to talk to the younger Rob. He's safe here. Stop talking about that. Like, does that just not bring up a load more of the pain? Is. Is it an unnecessary excavation?

Okay, so there's a difference. You've done it with a therapist. I've done it spiritually, so it's completely different.

You sounded sort of slightly wanky when you said that.

So the thing is, I love therapy, but I feel like therapy shows you the problem, tells you what you have, and then you're left in the woods.

Right.

Either left with medication or medicine or, like, pills or like, hey.

Or an invoice to pay.

Yeah. Or like, invoice for the next visit, which. Bless their souls. Therapists are amazing. But there is one step ahead after therapy. Because I've done therapy for a while, and I was like, why is this slow? Why is it taking time? Okay. Why isn't this okay? I know what I have now. I know these are my issues. What do we do now? Come to me next week. Come to me next week. Come to me next week. And there's no insurance for these guys, so it was kind of tough. And then I'm a very rebellious, curious person, so I was like, there must be something else I could do. And then I tried hypnotherapy, which takes you directly to your subconscious. You relive. You relive the situation. But I was like, that's amazing. But I have to do a lot of hypnotherapy to visit every memory. And then I did spiritual healing, which is like quantum healing, where you go into deep meditation using your breath work and your imagination, and you're guided with, like, a healer, and they take you back to that memory. You don't go. You don't sit and say, I'm sorry for what I've done to you. No, it doesn't go like that. It's literally you live. You are in the moment. You're like, God damn it, what's happening? It's like somebody switched the screen on, and you're reliving everything in your head and you're seeing it all. So, yeah, it's. It's a little bit deeper. It's more of a soul level kind of Healing.

Yeah.

Because, you know, you're not just a body, you're a soul that's having a human experience. Right. We can't forget the energy part. Yeah.

This word healing. Yeah, Kind of. I can't really wrap my head around it because I'm not sure anyone's broken. You just are who you are. So why is there anything to fix? Because someone who had childhood abuse might end up starting a charity to protect other children from childhood abuse. Often our pain is what makes us who we are.

Yeah.

So there's a part of me, not a whole of me, but a part of me that thinks saying the word healing is like, I'm broken.

What's wrong with being broken?

But maybe we're not broken.

But what's wrong with being broken?

Well, that assumes that you need fixing.

What's wrong with fixing?

It assumes that you're broken.

There's nothing wrong with that. The thing is, I've seen a lot of people say, no one's broken. No one needs fixing. No one. To me, these are very egoistic conversations. Like, what do you mean? Nobody's broken, Nobody needs fixing, nobody's healing. Like, there's a lot of people that are broken around the world, you know? And yes, a person who has been sexually abused when they're young, when they grow up, they're going to protect people who are sexually abused. But it's. That doesn't mean the person has healed. It means the person learned something and they want to help others because they've been through something. When you're. When you're broken or when you need healing, it's more of, you are your own enemy. Because I do a lot of charity work. I help people. I do so many things before my healing. I've done so much. And I remember I sat one day and I said, but I'm such a good person. Why do I need healing? Because I was not hurting people. I was hurting myself. How was I hurting myself? By the choices I made. It's as simple as that. You become your own worst enemy. And I've seen people who are empaths, but because they were broken when they were younger and they never worked on it, they assumed because I'm a good person that I'm okay. No, I wasn't okay. I'm a good person. I wasn't okay because the decisions I took were not to hurt others. I was not malicious. I didn't bleed on the people who didn't cut me. I didn't go out there with a sword. Like, I'm A screw everyone who screwed me over. No, that's bitterness. I'm a better person, not bitter. But what I was choosing for myself was completely wrong in terms of relationship, in terms of decision. I'll give you a very simple example. In business and all the companies that I ran in my life, I'll tell you where my trauma showed up. And I thought, back then I was fine. And these are just entrepreneur, entrepreneurial hard hardships that are. That came across the. The path of entrepreneurship, but they weren't. For example, I would have a problem at work and I would avoid confrontation. I don't want to. I was like, okay, I'll go to the CEO of the company or my manager in the company. I was like, listen, you go deal with it. I don't want to talk to anybody. And I thought, this is what entrepreneurs do. They stay back and somebody handles it. I could not do any sort of confrontation in life because I had trauma. So it crawls and creeps on you in certain situations, decisions you take in life, moments. So many things for me, I'm. If you ask my friends, they'll tell you, oh, my God, she's the sweetest, the kindest. She's always there for everybody. But I was not there for me. So how does that make sense? I'm a hypocrite. How am I there for everybody, but not. I'm not there for myself. How am I loving everybody but not loving myself? And I thought loving myself was going to the gym, traveling, going to places. I'm like, oh, my God, look at how much I love myself. I'm. Look at my life. That's not. That's not self love. That is taking care of the physical experience of life, the 3D experience of life. This is traveling, okay, is great. But when I come back from that destination, guess what? I'm sitting with my traumas again. Buying things is great, but when I come back home and I'm bored of them and I don't want to use them anymore, the car, the house and everything, I am that broken person still. So there is nothing wrong with being broken. Healing means I love myself enough to close a chapter and start a new one. I honor myself enough to actually not just save and help everyone, not start a charity and foundation to help people. Because if I'm not starting with me, how am I pouring from an empty cup? It doesn't make sense. So there's nothing wrong with healing, but I do understand how the word healing became such a, like, abused word. It's everywhere on Instagram. It's in everyone's bio. It's everyone's tattoo. But it's way deeper than these superficial things. And there's nothing wrong with being broken. Everything that's broken can be fixed and still beautiful. Your car breaks down, you fix it. You know, when you. When you're having a surgery, you're broken, you fix it. There's nothing wrong with being broken. And I really want people to, like, not be scared of saying I'm broken. Not to be scared to say I need fixing. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not what happens to you, it's what you do after it that counts. That's it. As simple as that.

So how do you love yourself?

How do I love myself? By having boundaries, by having self respect, by. I think the biggest part of self love is trusting your intuition. Because if I. If I close my eyes and I go back to every business partner that stole my money, to every relationship that I got screwed over, beaten, harassed, abused, and all that, I felt it day one. I knew it. And you know, that feeling doesn't come as like. As like a warning or a voice in your head saying, hey, stop right now. No, it comes in subtle kicks. It comes in, like, discomforts, you know, in the stomach you're feeling weird, even feeling uncomfortable with someone over dinner and feeling like you have nothing to say. Red flag, you know, not for you. It's fine. So I feel like trusting my intuition and honoring my intuition, because that's my soul, my higher self. Speaking through my physical body is the best way to love yourself. Even if the intuition was wrong, at least I trusted it. I trust myself. You trust your friends. You pick up the phone, call your friends for advice. No, I am. I am my best friend. And actually, you know, can I give you something?

Sure.

There's something that I, you know, as a public speaker that I do, because when I speak, I always speak about, like, how healing and how being spiritual and connecting to your soul can make you better at business. I can. I train CEOs to be better at business by making them spiritual, by taking them back to back home. Back home is your soul, right? And what people forget is that, yes, we're souls having a human experience. We're in energy. Right? Can energy touch? Can energy eat? Can energy smell? No, it cannot. Energy is just energy. It's flawless, it expands, it's beautiful, it's powerful, it's endless, it's eternal. But it cannot eat, it cannot taste, it cannot hug, it cannot kiss, it cannot give birth, it cannot do Anything. So how beautiful it is that we have this opportunity to experience 3D, to touch and feel through this body, you know? But what people forget is that you are a soul given a human to. To take care of. People don't know that we come here, we want to do everything for a man. We want to do everything for our children. We sacrifice, we compromise, we give up everything, and we're like, oh, life is about being there for others. No. Just like any PlayStation game. What do you do in PlayStation? You take care of your avatar. You feed him when he's wounded. You. You do this for them, whatever is needed to get the power higher. So your job is to take care of the avatar in the game so you can win the game, right? So I'm gonna give you this, and I give it to everyone when I do public speaking. So this is a small human in a capsule, okay? Take it.

Thank you.

So you are the higher self. You were given this to take care of him. All right? And the. The rules of the game is you can't tell them the truth. You can't tell them who you are. You have to just send them signs every now and then, try to guide them back home. And if you can't, game over. You know? So that's you. That's the human you need to take care of. And I wish. I wish people would understand that. You were given a human to take care of when we were kids. Remember, when we were kids, we. There was this game we had to feed. Remember the. The Chinese, Japanese game?

Yes.

Yeah. We had to feed him. And if he dies, you can't get him back. You know, you have to throw the game away. This is exactly what we're doing here, as simple as that. You're here to become the best version of you. You're here to experience life as an energy, but you can't. So you need a body. You need a meat suit. That. That's the whole story. You were given a human to take care of, Right? But we tend to forget that. We. We forget it. We abandon ourselves. We give ourselves away. I can't live without love, live without a woman. I cannot live without a man. I cannot live without having kids. No, that's not the game of life. You're here to explore, to have fun, to enjoy. And a lot of people tell me, like, a couple of days ago, I was on a cruise, and I was doing karaoke, and I have a good karaoke voice. I don't have a good voice. I have a good karaoke voice. So I Posted it online. And somebody wrote a comment to my story saying, okay, public speaker, entrepreneur, author. Now you sing. They're like, what the hell is this? You're not focused in life. You know, go choose one thing and stick to it. And usually I don't respond to negativity because I don't know you. You don't have my number. You can't text me, you can't call me. So whatever you say about me is not personal. So it doesn't bother me. And if you want to ruin my date, go play somewhere else. It doesn't work here. But I decided to reply and I said, I feel sorry for you that you think you were made for one thing. You know, you're either, you know, you're either black or white. You know, life is a rainbow. There's so many colors. If you want to be a singer, go be a singer. If you want to be an actor, go be an actor. You can be all of this at once. Why limit your human experience to one thing? It doesn't make sense to me. And then people ask me, what's the recipe to success? This. That I allow myself to do whatever, whenever, however I can be. I have the right to change my mind. Today I might like something. Tomorrow I might not. I'm not ashamed. I have no guilt. I have nothing to carry. I can do whatever I want. And people don't do that. They just want to be a lawyer. They just want to be an accountant. They just want to have a 9 to 5 job. That's not the human experience that the. That's the rat race. You're stuck in the rat race.

But maybe that's their human experience. I mean, we're all different.

Yes, totally. We're all different, but we were not made to experience one thing. Not at all. Does it make sense. And that's why that person feels like their life is never complete. That's why they're.

Is life ever complete, though?

No, it's not. I mean, it's complete. When you free yourself, that's it. It's as simple as that. When you're free yourself from expectation of society, the stereotype, what people think of you, how people respond to you, what people think of. I don't. I don't need any external validation. And therefore I'm free. My desires don't control me, therefore I'm free. When. When you have these.

That's a natural human urge, isn't it? It keeps you safe to be concerned about what other people think, think about you. It's not Well, I mean, if I didn't give a what anyone thought about me, I'd probably be dead pretty quick.

No, but you do have common sense. I mean, you can't go kill somebody and say, I don't care what people think about me. There's common sense. You touch fire, your fingers burn. You know, there is common sense. You have to have, like, some logic in your mind to understand what's okay and what's not based on you. Yeah, Some women dress very provocative in a provocative way. To them that's okay.

Yeah.

Some women don't. And to them that's not okay.

Yeah.

The truth is, she's not right. She's not wrong. She's not right. She's not wrong.

Right.

You know, and that's why there's a quote that I love by Rumi. It says, between what's right and wrong, there's a garden. I'll meet you there. It means we don't have to all be right. We don't have to all be wrong. Let's meet in the middle. Let's meet in that garden where everything is okay. And I feel like I've sat and I've trained over 3,000 people in my whole entire life, right? More than 3,000, I think 319 or something. And all of the people that were doing one thing in life and they were doing it perfectly. Like, I met this lawyer and I was training her and I was like sitting with her like once a week. And she's like, look, I make over. Her salary is Dh100,000amonth, okay? And that's a lot of money. You can live as a king with that amount of money. So. And she's like, I'm not happy. I love my job. I'm the best at it. This is everything I ever wanted to. She's like, I'm not happy. And I told her, is it relationship? She's like, no, I don't need a man. So what is it? What is it? Is that every time she looks at me, she's like, you can travel wherever you want. You can leave whenever you want. You can get whatever you want. She's like, look at you. Like your culture doesn't even accept tattoos. And look at you. She's like, you have allowed yourself. You gave yourself a signed permission slip from you to you. She's like, me? My permission slip has to be signed from so many people. She's like, that's why I'm not happy. And it makes a lot of sense. It's. It's Very simple. It's. And it's very logical. But people can't step into that logic because we've been pre programmed by society.

Right. So I'll come back to the society part in a minute.

Yeah.

How many tattoos have you got right now? Yeah. Not including all future tattoos that you're.

Going to, because I just got like five more. I think I've crossed 100 tattoos, 110.

Did you start having tattoos as therapy from your pain?

No, when I was young, my first tattoo, I got it when I was 14 or 15. I think I did it behind my parents back. And by the way, that, that question you just asked me is what my parents still believe. They think that the reason I do tattoos is because I'm rebelling to my parents. I'm rebelling to society and I want to show them that I'm strong and I can do whatever I want. It's not true.

Well, yeah, I just wondered if there's some pain. Not, not. I didn't.

There is.

I didn't think rebellion. I just thought. I just wonder if sometimes people, if they get a lot of tattoos, it's a way to express pain inwardly.

No.

And maybe outwardly. I mean, I know there's no hurt or pain or anything involved in getting any of those.

No. I'll tell you what. What, what, what is there? What? My tattoos are basically my blessings and my lessons. So basically it's everything. Great.

And you're gonna have any body left to tattoo on soon, Are you?

You're kidding me. Rob, there's so much things.

I mean, I mean, life's going to give a lot of blessings and a lot of lessons, isn't it?

And I'll tell you why the lessons. Because we as humans, because we, our language is love. If you look at children when they're born, they love everybody. You know, they have, they don't look at culture, a race, a color, a religion. They love everybody. They meet someone, they just smile and there's love, you know, and if a baby is born and nobody touches a baby for 24 hours or 48 hours, the baby can die. It needs human touch, you know, that's why the doctors touch it and the mom touched and all that. So our language were born with a universal language. It's love. It's as simple as that. So because we are love, you know, and we are all part of one source, you know, we tend to forget our lessons sometimes. Like, oh, I've been through a toxic relationship, I learned this. But we tend to forget because you Want to love everybody and we want to, you know, be there for everyone and everything. So just in case, you know, one day I forget my lessons, I put them on my body. And when I look at my lessons, I don't remember pain, because if I remember the pain, that means I still need healing. I'm indifferent to the memory, but I am very close to the teaching. Like, I love the teaching of that experience.

Yeah.

But I'm indifferent to the memory. Like, I can speak about anything that I've been through in life and make a joke about it, you know, Even the hard parts that I've been through.

Even the abuse.

Even the abuse. I can laugh.

The worst abuse.

I can laugh about it, you know, the physical abuse.

Yes, you can laugh about the physical.

Abuse because I'm indifferent to the person that did it. I'm indifferent to the pain that they caused. I'm. Look at me as a woman right now. I'm grateful. I'm so beautiful as a person right now. Inside out, you know, all because of that experience. So I feel no animosity to the person. I never seek revenge because that's God's job, not mine. And that's karma. There's an algorithm. I don't mess with the algorithm of the universe. So, yeah, I'm just. I feel nothing. Zero. Because even feeling anger and hate is still emotions. I don't want emotions. Healing is zero. Emotions to negative things. Nada.

I mean, negative emotions, they have a purpose, don't they?

Yeah, you pick up the purpose, you dump the negative feelings. You don't need to carry that. That's heavy. It tastes bad. And it's like, you know, when you're angry at somebody, it's like I am drinking the poison, hoping they would die. I'm dying. I'm the one releasing cortisol in my body. I'm the one carrying that anger. I'm the one. It's heavy, you know, and like, for example, shame and guilt and anger, where does it sit? On the chest. And. And if it's manifest and stays there for a while and I don't acknowledge it and I don't talk about it, I suppress it. My body will express it through illness. It's as simple as that. What you don't. What you suppress, the body will express. Any illness in the body is a sign of the body telling you, I'm tired. Take a look at me. Pay attention to me. Love me. I'm your friend. We're together. Why are you doing this to me? So anything like I remember, I'LL give you an example. Like, I. I had an autoimmune disease. I don't have it anymore. And the books, doctors tell you nobody can get rid of an autoimmune disease. Well, I did, and I. Healing.

Because when you say healing, though, what did you do?

Just working, internal work on my mental health and all that. Spiritual healing. I've done hypnotherapy, as I told you, and all that. But I swear to God, I remember that day. I. When I was sitting in healing, I went back to the memory that caused my autoimmune disease. I'm like, oh, my God, this is it. And I was like, no, we need to undo this. So I. I remember leaving the healing ceremony and going back to the. To Dubai. Went to the doctor. I just felt like I needed to do the test again to check my. My. How is the immunology response and do I have any antibodies? And my doctor was like, what did you do? And my doctor and I, like, go back, like, 10 years together, because I've had it for so many years. Autoimmune disease. He's like, what did you do? I need to write a book about you. I need to research you. I need to run tests on you. I'm like, bro, I did healing. He's like, no, no. What did you eat? What medication were you on? What? I'm like, oh, my God. I swear to God, I just did healing. And nobody wants to believe it. And sadly, a lot of doctors don't believe in that. They just believe in big pharma. They believe in all that, which is great because there are situations where you're ill, you need medication, you know, to help you, but you don't leave it there. I. I remember when I was healing from my autoimmune disease, I was taking my medication because I needed to stay alive. And then at the same time, I was doing the healing, and now I don't take the medication. So everything you feel, everything, and, you know, it all comes from the liver. And I always tell people, whatever you're feeling, like my autoimmune disease was not a disease. It was a sign of something else. And then I got hypothyroid. My hypothyroid was not a disease. It was a sign of something else. And if you want to go to the bottom of it all, where do emotions get processed? Liver. So the liver was tired. That's why my digestion got messed up. That's why I got the autoimmune disease. That's why I got all of that. And then went. And I healed the emotions. The liver is functioning perfect. Now I have nothing. Every. I had hair loss. Rob. If I show you a picture, I have a picture on my phone. Remind me to. I'll send it to you as well. If I show you how I looked like you, you'd cry because I had hives all over my body. And I. I went to doctors. Nobody knew what was wrong. Everybody told me, it's in your head. You're imagining these things. How am I imagining these things? I know myself. And nobody. Nobody wanted to believe until I was like, you know what? Screw them all. I'm gonna go on a journey. I'm gonna listen to everything my body says. I'm gonna find out everything. And I did. And it took me two years. Not even 10, not 15, not. Not three. Two years of dedication. I left my work behind. I left my. My child with my mom. And I said, mom, I need to come back as a better person. And if I want to be a better mom, if I want to be a better daughter, a better friend, I need to go do this. And it's funny, because when I went to do it, I invited a couple of friends who needed it as well. And, you know, my friend was like, oh, no, I can't. I have my friend's wedding. And the other friend's like, oh, no, I have a birthday that I know. I'm going on this Ibiza trip. And I'm going. I'm going. And I was sitting there, and I was like, I can see what's happening. They think it's self love, that they're going to the wedding in Paris, they're flying to Ibiza for a party. They think it's self love. But actually, if we're all sitting in a room, the person who was doing the self love the most was me. Because I left everything. And I want to do something for me. And that, you know, ripples in everything around me. I became a better mom because of healing, you know, because a lot of women, when they're abused or, like, married to the wrong person, and then they have a child later on in life, sometimes they feel like regret, like, oh, my God, I have a kid with someone. Like, it's not what I felt the whole time, but it did kick in. I'm gonna be honest with you, completely emotionally naked. Sometimes I would. I would feel like, oh, my God, I had a kid with someone that wasn't right, that wasn't good. And. And what do I do now? I have a kid from Him. I'm forever connected to him. I don't want to be connected. But then with healing, I realized my child is innocent. My child is the best gift that God ever gave me. You know, and that negative emotion I had towards my kid, I had to cut the cord of that emotion because my kid has nothing to do with that. You know, it's all the ex husband and me and I had to do the work. So, yeah, heal. So you cannot carry this from generation to generation because we do come from generations of denial. My family never spoke to me about the negative things that happened in their life or their grand. Their parents life. My grandparents never told me anybody got abused or anything like that. So nobody talks about. Everybody comes from generations and generations of denial and passing the trauma genetically to the kids and even illnesses, by the way, my aunts, all of them have. Have autoimmune diseases, the same one I have. And I knew when I was doing the spiritual healing that my ancestors harbored these things because they never dealt with them and passed it on through genes to our genetics. It's simple, you know, have you ever seen any science shows where they tell you, okay, we're gonna create a hybrid goat of this. This. Let's say this kind of goat with this color of hair, with this, they can control genetically everything, even the color of the eye. So how do you think trauma passes through genetics? Same way, if I am a person that never dealt with my. I'll pass it to my kid. And then you look at your kid and like, I never taught him that. How is he acting like that? How is he acting like my mom? Because we're genetically passing everything, passing garbage to our. Our kids. So until somebody decides to say no, I will stand up for everyone, and I'm gonna take the pain, I'm gonna feel everything for everyone in my lineage, and I'm gonna create the new ancestors. I'm gonna create the new. I'm the new generation. I'm not passing to anybody anymore. Someone has to stand up and do it. And usually that's the black sheep in the family. It's the odd person, the weird one that acts different, that doesn't want to apply the rules, that doesn't want to do and be contained. It's that person that's chosen to heal it all. But, you know, it's not easy. A lot of people drop the job, of course. Yeah. Not knowing how. How beautiful the results could be.

Yeah. Okay, so how do you defeat an escape from a narcissist?

How do you defeat an escape From a narcissist? Well, it depends. What kind of narcissist are you with? Because there's so many types. If in my case I was with a malignant narcissist, at the worst type, like the top tier narcissist, he wins it all.

Tears of narcissism.

Oh, yeah.

Malignant narciss.

Yeah.

Have you got these tears in your book?

Yeah, yeah, I broke it down.

You've got different levels.

Yeah.

Okay, so let's go. God. Tier narcissist. Would you call it a malignant one? How do you defeat and escape one of those?

That's the. He's the. The worst or she's the worst type of narcissist Because.

And you've been with one like that because they're abusive. Were you married to them?

No, no, no, no, no.

But you've been in a relationship.

Yeah, relationship.

Because it must be quite hard to get out of those relationships, surely.

Of course.

So how do you defeat an escape?

The thing is not only that it's dangerous to leave because they can hurt you, to keep you and manipulate you and whatever and pull you back. What a lot of people who are going through narcissistic abuse don't know is that narcissists don't just. They're not on autopilot and they're doing things without knowing. There are master planners. Which means that if you look at all narcissists, if you ask, okay, if we pick 10 women that have been with the worst type of narcissist, like the top tier narcissist, the malignant one, right. If. If we sit with all of them. If you look at their whole stor. You. You tell me, Sarah, why the hell. A woman from Africa, a woman from. From. From Dubai, a woman from America, a woman from London. Why do they all have the same patterns? Because all narcissists have the same patterns. And it's. It's crazy. It's sometimes you.

So you're saying a narcissist will attract a certain type of person?

100%. And they will act like the. The patrons of narcissist are the same. They don't change from case to case.

Wow.

They're the same. So how do you escape from. It is a number one. Sometimes they're abusive. They don't let you go. They'll stalk you, they'll hurt you physically, even to the extent they are the malignant ones. They're sociopaths. They can kill. They're that dangerous. You know, every. There. You know and there's a doctor that I love, everything she teaches about narcissism, Dr. Ramani, she says, I think she once said every sociopath is a narcissist. But not every narcissist is a sociopath. Yeah, but in the malignant type, the top one, they're all crazy to that extent.

Right. So how'd you get out?

First of all, get. Seek professional help. As in, like, tell a police. Tell the police. Tell someone who is high ranked in authority. Because narcissists are scared of authority. They have a God complex. You know, this God syndrome. They think they're God. They think they're the best. They think they're unstoppable. So they think there's no authority above them. So when you call the police on them or get a lawyer or put them in court, they die. They shake. You see that big grandiose monster become just like a whiny baby who's scared. So my advice to a lot of people is if you want to leave and they're dangerous, seek authority because authority scares them.

Right.

100%. They're all scared of authority because they believe that there's nothing above them. Number two is that if you start thinking like one, because a lot of people are like, I'm good. I can't think the way he thinks. I'm not like him. Think like him. Because only when you think like him, you can protect yourself from him. So what I did is. I can't believe I'm saying this. This is the first time I say that. So he used to document everything. Like, he used to, like, record and document everything so he can use it against me. All right? And then I realized that only if I thought like him, I will defeat him. So I started documenting everything as well. The thing is, what he was documenting was things to hurt me with. What I was documenting was how he was hurting me. So if we both use what we documented, I win the case. He does not win the case. But his. His documentation keeps me as a hostage, you know, because he has something against me.

Wow.

So. So that's what they do. Think like them so you can win them. That number two. Number three, you need to understand that when a lot of people think that I'm addicted, I don't know what to do, Rob. I'm addicted to him. I can't live a day without him. If I leave, I can't breathe. And honestly, when somebody tells you they're addicted, believe them. Because what narcissists do is they hormonally manipulate you. What they do is that they take you on an extreme high so fast. A lot of dopamine is released, a lot of serotonin is released. And then in the phase of, like, they call it, like, disowning you or, like, leaving you, okay, when they want to, when they feel like they need to drop you suddenly, and they drop you, what happens is cortisol gets released in your body, so you're stressing a lot, and then you're dying for that high again. What happens is the same thing that happens when you're addicted to cocaine or heroin or everything. They play with your hormones. Take you up, drop you down. Take you up, drop you down. It's called the love bombing and devaluation. That's what they do. They love bomb you. They give you the world. You feel like you found your Prince Charming. They study you. Everything you want, you like, you think, you breathe, you take. They become that because they study you. And you feel like, I found Prince Charming. And then they devaluate you because they play this game. They know that they're doing that to you hormonally. They know that they. They test you in every way possible. And then what happens is you end up feeling like you're addicted to them. No, you're not addicted, babe. You're hormonally imbalanced. You know, just like any addiction around you. And you can easily break the addiction if you go, fix your hormones, fix. Fix your lifestyle, take care of your mental health. And there's so many other ways you can escape a narcissist.

Like.

Like, for example, in the book, I teach you how to prep your mind in a way to, like. Okay, so let me put it this way. The book was written in a very quantum way, which means I use a language and I use. And I use it. I use this a lot in my public speaking. And that's my gift. And I don't shy away from my gift. Like, I know that a lot of people might think, oh, look at her. She's, like, boasting about her gift. No, I am. Yes. Because I've never seen an interview with a singer where the singer, they tell them, your voice is amazing. He goes like, no, it's not really. No, no. Own your shit. Own your gifts. Otherwise they'll disappear. So I'm owning my gift. My gift is the way I speak and the way I simplify information. So in the book, I use a quantum way of speaking where I enter your head and I embed ideas in your subconscious and the exercises you do in the book, I'm literally rewiring your mind without you even knowing it by showing you the truth. Raw, real, unfiltered. So I would say that I will teach you everything in the book, but I'll slap you with the truth, but I'll hold your hand at the same time. And this is, this is. This is actually this phrase I'm using. Someone said it to me recently, a friend of mine. They said the way you speak, the way you. You wrote the book is the way you are. As Sarah, basically, you. I don't like when people sit and. And complain about life to me. I go like, oh, screw this. You're the problem. You did this. You thought of this. You did this. So I'm a kind of person that will slap you with the truth, but I hold your hand through the journey as well. So the book teaches you everything in that way. And I prep your mind for. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, I prep your mind for that. And then I prep you to leave and I prep you to heal. After that, I teach you the whole thing in the most simplest way ever. And you can read the book in literally, rob, two hours.

Wow.

Because I don't. I don't believe that if I'm. It's not a story. If it's a novel, it takes you six months to read. I tell you, great, because you need to imagine, you need to drop into your feelings and go through that journey. But this is not a novel. This is like straight up teaching. Like, I learned this. I. This is my. The wisdom that I earned with my blood, sweat, and tears. And I went through so much, and I studied so much, and I went. I met so many people who are experts in narcissism to actually write this book. So I wrote it with everything I have, everything I am. But I also wrote it in a way that a dyslexic person would want to understand things because I'm dyslexic. And it's written in a way where if I close my eyes and I want to understand something you're teaching me, my mind immediately will break it to me into like, okay, I need information simplified. Don't go too much. Don't give me too much. Get straight to the point, okay? Truth, raw, no bs. Then give me an example so my brain can stick to what the information and make sure that I understand it. Then give me, I'd say, like a method or like a test or like a workshop or anything I can do so I can like, put my energy into it so it can stay. That's how my dyslexia works. And this is how I wrote the book. I tell you the truth. I give you real life examples, and then I give you, like, a thing, a sheet, a test sheet to do or worksheet to do where you can do things and it sticks to your mind. It's all quantum. It's all quantum healing way. So, yeah. And it's very simple, very easy. And I don't feel like if I'm trying to teach you, it should not take you more than 3 hours to read a book to learn. If I'm edge, if I'm educating you about something, a topic, and you're gonna drop the book and read it, like every once or three, three times a month or once a week, you're gonna forget everything I taught you. This book is meant to be read fast because the information sticks fast, right? Yeah.

So what's one piece of relationship? What's one area of relationships no one's really talking about?

What do you mean?

Well, is there an area in human interaction, in relationships, whether it's dealing with narcissists that no one's really addressing?

Yeah, I mean, I think it's really needed. I mean, I've heard people talk about this. It's starting now, but it's not spoken enough about. Everybody is looking for the right person, right? What is the right person to you? It can be an educated man, a businessman, someone who's high up there. Whatever it is, like, whatever I want before I go out there and put it out there and ask the universe for it or try to attract it. Am I these things? I cannot attract something if I'm not that thing. So before you go out there and say, hi, I want this, I want that, I want that. Are you all these things? Are you healed? Because a lot of women say, I want a healed man. Okay. Are you healed, babe? Babe? Have you. I want a man who's done the work.

People say that. I want a healed man, Babe.

Yeah. No, that's my response to her. So, like, if a guy says, I want a healed woman. Are you a healed man? I want a woman who takes care of her body, goes to the gym. Do you take care of your body and go to the gym? I want a woman that is kind. Are you kind? I want a woman that's successful. Are you successful? I want a woman that has good mental health and dealt with her childhood trauma. Have you dealt with your childhood trauma? So before you go out there, deal with your shit. First, be the right person so you can attract the right person. And to be honest, I'mma say it as blunt as I can. If you think that you've done all the work and you're amazing and you're still attracting toxic partners, these partners are still telling you what parts of you you need to still work on. You know, it's as simple as that.

So you're getting feedback 100% from your relationships in real time.

1. Rob. I was introduced recently to a guy through my friends, you know, so just.

Let me just gland this quickly. Any flaw you see in someone else, that's a mirror feeding back 100 brutal, 100%. And as what's going on with you right now, I won't. I won't put Harry's business on this podcast. But he's going through something.

Are you?

It's. No, no, no. You don't have to say it. It's not relationship, it's business.

Got it.

But, you know, he's like, why is this happening to me? Why now?

And by the way, hello, even business. It's a reflection of you, something you need to work on.

Yeah, yeah. But if you're big enough, you're going to get sued. The end.

No, being. Being sued is not an issue. But for.

It's not an issue being sued.

No, it's not your issue. Haters can sue you. People who are in competition with you can sue you. People can fake to sue you to make money. Yeah, being sued is not a reflection of who you are. No. But, for example, let's say if I start a business, and I've been in the past robbed from a lot of money, and my lesson to learn was to pay attention to the finances and to be more involved, and I still attract someone that stole money from me.

It means you're not getting the lesson.

I'm not getting the freaking lesson. I need to go back and work on it again. So people are your mirrors. And I. I was telling you recently, I was introduced to a guy, the old me. If I met a toxic guy, I would run to him. Oh, my God, my savior, my Prince Charming. Toxicity is my thing. I loved it. You know, and my mom's like, you know, and every time we used to sit with people and people would ask my mom, what, you know, what scares you in life? She's like, my daughter's taste of men. That scares me in life. And she's right. I had shitty taste. Because internally, my. My traumas were shitty. I had to work on them. My State was exactly the person I attracted.

But you're never going to attract a perfect person. So there's always going to be.

No one's perfect. Nobody's perfect. I just want the right look, Rob, when you do that.

But what is the right is. Is right the same, the opposite.

What's right to you?

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It'S. It's you.

Do you know what's right for me?

I know what's right for me.

Right. So are you in a relationship right now?

No. No, I'm single. I'm single af. Okay, but I swear. No, but the thing is. Okay, the thing is, like you said, what's right. Right? But I'll tell you what. Healing teach you. Healing doesn't only teach you. Yeah. Healing doesn't teach you. Healing doesn't teach you what? You're not old. Healing doesn't teach you what's right or what you want. It teaches you something more valuable than that. It teaches you what you don't want. So now I know exactly what I don't want in a man.

You know, maybe that's why you haven't Got one?

No, the thing is, my, my, my expectations are realistic. I'm not asking for like freaking something impossible that can be created in a factory. No, I'm asking for a man who's done the work. A best friend, a man who's successful because I'm successful. And whoever is going to call me a gold digger, it's okay. Because when a man wants a successful woman, it's okay. But when a woman wants a successful man, she's a gold digger. Right? I need someone who is like success as the same level of success as me, so we don't have issues in the relationship. Because a man is logical, a woman is emotional. And if a woman is doing better than a man, no matter how good a man is, he will feel left out, he will feel belittled, he will feel small, his masculinity will be hurt. And then when that happens, the result is ugly. You know, the relationship gets ugly and we, then they. They both don't understand what went wrong. What went wrong is that you did not choose right. And, and it doesn't mean he's wrong. It just means look at what you want, look at what you need, look at what you don't want as well. So when I meet a man, the first thing I say is, let me tell you what I don't want.

Because you literally say that on a date. Let me tell you what I don't want.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, Rob, I haven't dated since like 1911. So. So you're telling me you're on a date and you're like, right, Let me just tell you what I don't want.

Do you want me to take you through a date?

Fucking damn right. Yeah. Let's do this.

Okay. We. The first thing is I would. If I sit with you.

Yeah.

And I already feel the energy is off. I would get up and tell you, for example, listen, I'm not feeling this. And I don't want to order food. I don't want you to pay. I don't want you to do anything. I'm saving you and saving my time. I'm not feeling this. I leave. I actually, I respect my, my gut feeling that if I enter and we're two minutes into a date, I feel off. I leave. Because if I sit, I'm people pleasing. I'm pleasing you because I don't want you to think I'm bad. I don't make you feel bad? No, I don't. People, please. I take care of this human. Remember the pill I gave you? This is I'm taking care of this human.

But we need other humans for connection and community, don't we? It feeds us.

Totally.

So if you just do whatever you want and put yourself first, isn't that quite selfish and disrespectful to us?

Not at all. It's selfless.

It's selfless to put yourself first. But isn't it selfish to put yourself.

The thing is, how are you putting yourself first? You're not. I'm not saying, oh, screw all of you, I'm leaving. I'm better than everybody. No. Then I'm an right. But for me to sit down and to tune in, because we, as humans, we have an antenna. If you don't believe in energy, you know, guys, we're all made out of energy. It's been scientifically proven. It's not just woo woo language.

So, so sorry I interrupted you. So, yeah, you're two minutes into a date. You're not feeling the energy. You're just going to say, look, I'm going to save us. Respectfully, it's just feeling off. Nothing against you. See you later. Yeah, I'll save you the bill.

I've done it. I've done.

Can you imagine that?

And the guy. And the guy thanked me for it, I swear to God. He's like, you know what? I respect you. At least you're honest. He's like, I've been on dates where girls would drag me and then never pick up the phone and ghost me. I hate. I think it's very not masculine when a man just runs away and ghosts like bro just sit and say the truth. What's wrong with that? But when you're, when you care about.

What people think, but a lot, and a lot of people can't accept the truth, are you triggered by over everything?

That's not your problem.

Okay.

How they perceive you is not your problem.

So you, you don't own their reaction at all?

No, I don't. I own the truth. But listen, let me tell you something.

I mean, there is no truth. Truth is subjective. My truth, your perception, your opinion.

My opinion? No, the thing is, okay, there is. There's perception, there is opinion, but there's also energy. Energy doesn't lie, Rob. I don't know.

I've heard that saying. But maybe you're not so great at reading it.

No, I was not. You.

I'm not putting. But like energy doesn't lie. But man, it takes a lot to figure out what it all is and what it all means and all these emotions and Feelings?

Yes. When you haven't done the inner work, there's no alignment. You don't feel, you don't pick up stuff. And for example, I'll tell you, if I wasn't healed, the old me would sit. Would feel awkward. And you know what I tell myself? Maybe he's just cute. I'm nervous. I don't know what to say. I'll convince myself with. To stay, but the truth is that's not it. Energy does not lie. And there's a field of energy surrounding me. Surrounding you. When they clash, I can feel it. But. But I'm not saying get up and leave. I am. Respectfully, with empathy, with sympathy, with full human respect and integrity.

Yeah.

You walk away, right? You treat him as a human being. You don't disrespect anybody because if you disrespect someone, that is trauma. You have trauma. Why? Why are you being mean to people? I don't believe in that. No, I've done that.

So let's say we've got past the. You haven't left after two minutes.

So let's say I like you.

Yeah. So now I'm getting the list, am I?

Yeah.

Well, you can't be this. You can't do that.

I don't say you can't.

Okay, how do you do it?

It's very simple. Like we get into a bit of conversation and I say, listen, do you want to have nine dates? And then we fall in love and then realize we're not meant for each other and then realize we're not aligned, our ethics and morals are not the same and. But then we're in love and it's too late now. There's emotions involved. I say, or do you want us to have an honest conversation from the beginning where I can save the, save us the heartache, the pain, respect each other and what we want and let's just have an honest conversation.

But, but what about the fun, the organic nature, the mystery of dating?

And no, I don't waste time on that. No. Yeah. I mean, yes, I've done. I've gone on so many dates, but if I don't feel it, I'll tell the guy I don't feel it and I leave. I'm honest. What? Since when has. Okay, since when is lying to people and pretending to like a dinner and enjoying. Hahaha, I'm enjoying the day. Since when has this been our reality? Since when is lying to ourselves and to people acceptable?

But sometimes you cannot enjoy something and it's not their fault. It's your fault. You know, you're stressed. You've got a lot of things going on. You're.

You have to have discernment. You have. You have to know yourself. Rob. The thing is. Yeah, sometimes I. I've been on a date where I was tired, but I knew I was tired. I knew it wasn't him.

Yeah.

I have to have discernment. I can't just dump my shit on people all the time. Right?

But also, it takes time to get to know someone. You can't really. You can't, like, force that all out on the first day.

Have you tried?

I haven't dated since 1911. So this is like. You're. You're the master, I'm the student. Like, at least with me there would be no gains.

I tell you. I tell you, this. This. This method is a bullshit eliminator, okay? Because I've sat with guys and they told me they're amazing, or my friends are hooking us up and all that. And I've said that. I said in the beginning, I'll save you time. Let's be honest each other. He's like, what the hell is this, a therapy session?

Well, there's your red flag, I guess.

Toxic masculine. It's okay. He's ego. It's okay. And I say, you know what? It's fine. And I leave. And you know what I do in the end?

That. That phrase. Sorry, I'm just jumping. Yeah, that phrase, toxic masculine. I mean, that was a bit quick of a quick label you threw out.

It is toxic masculinity. Because a real man who's within his masculine. He's comfortable with himself. He's okay to have an open conversation from day one. He's a man. He doesn't. He's not threatened. He's not scared. He's honest. He does not have to run away. He doesn't have to enjoy. And no, Rob, it's okay.

So you carry on. On.

You.

You were just going to say something.

No, so the thing is, like, what was I saying? The. The. The part like, I've sat with a guy where he was toxic masculine.

Yeah.

And he's like, oh, can we just have fun? Can we just eat? You're weird, bro. And. And you know what? And I was like, okay, I can see the toxic masculinity. The thing is, when you do the inner work, you can pick up on people's traumas. So I say, you know what? I think the date is done. But I said, you know, you're awesome. My friends Told me great things about you. Maybe in another life. And I get up and what I.

Do when I leave another life.

Do you know what I do when I leave? I pay the freaking bill.

Yeah.

Without him knowing, I go and I paid. Because he tried to insult me by saying, oh, what are you not. You're your. Your minds. That you're a healer. What do you think? Now, the therapy session, he's indirectly belittling me. So respectfully, I'll pay the bill to belittle him when I leave. You know, that's it. As simple as that. So it. But I've been in. In dates where I was like, listen, this is how it goes. Like, let's say a good man. Okay, hey, how are you? All that. Listen, so let's cut to the chase. We can. We can go through something and end up in a heartbreak. And I've been through a lot of heartaches and I have a child, so I'm a responsible, conscious parent. I cannot just drag men into my life because I have a baby, you know, and I'm. And I'm trying to set an example and all that. At the same time, I've been through a lot, so I don't have time for. Can we cut through the. I've met men who said, please do. What do you need? And I said, okay, so I am looking for a serious relationship which ends in marriage. It doesn't mean I want to marry you. I just met you. I don't want to scare you. It means my end goal is marriage. As your end goal, marriage, it can be to another man in the future. It can be to anyone, but that's my end goal. Does it. Is that your angle? And if he says yes, great. We move on to the next conversation because I don't want to waste time. I don't want to go on dates, have dinners and all that. Rob. I don't want to. I don't have the energy to do that. I cannot drag my soul and my heart into things, in and out, in and out, that are unstable. I cannot do that to myself because I love and respect myself so much. I respect my energy, I respect my human experience so much that I'm not willing to do that anymore. I've done it. Not anymore. I love myself enough not to do that. And you've asked me in the beginning what self love is. This is self love. And as much as it sounds unrealistic in the real world because people date differently, but this is the right way to date. It's respecting each Other. And then I ask him, what do you want in a relationship? We might not even work as a relationship, but we're having a conversation. It doesn't mean I want to marry you. It doesn't mean you are the one. I don't want to put that pressure on him. No, it means end goal. It's like saying, I want to be a famous author and I haven't written a book yet. What's wrong with that? There's not. That doesn't mean I want to be it right now. No, it means in my end goal.

Right.

So. And then I say I have a kid. Are you okay with children? Yeah, maybe. No, no, no, no. Not yeah, maybe. I have a child. My child is my number one. And I will never put anyone above my child. Are you okay with that? Because if you had a child, I would do the same for you. I respect that for you. And I'll never want to be above your kids, you know, so we have that and it becomes such a beautiful conversations, Rob, because you drop your armor, you drop your walls, you drop everything and you just reel. And then after that, you decide whether you want to go on a second date and you just have fun with each other because now everything is out of the way. You got it out of the way before feelings are built. Because if we love each other and then I realize that you are a piece of shit, or are your ethics are different, or you love to club and get drunk till 4am with your boys and. And I'm at home waiting. No, I don't want to find out this. When we're in love with each other, then it's harder to leave. I want to leave now when it's easier.

Right?

You know?

And who pays for the bill on the first date?

A man.

A man.

A man. A man. A man is a provider and a protector. As simple as that. If I have to pay for a date, I'm not going on that date. I used to. I used to always pay for dates. Not anymore? No.

What about if you asked me on a date? Yeah.

Well, the thing is, it's not about equality. It's about a man. Look, the thing is the role of a man and the role of a woman, spiritually, physically, is different. You guys built our roads. You guys. You guys can carry more weights than we do. You guys can swim faster than we do. I don't argue with that. I don't. It's like you're telling me, okay, what if.

But. So you're saying a man was built to pay the first day, every time.

A man was built to provide. Provide means give. Put the necessaries for a family, for a woman. Provider. It doesn't mean. It doesn't mean a mansion on the beach, Rolls Royce, Rolex watches. No, that if he wants to do that, it's up to him. Provide. Provide means safety, food, shelter and all that for a family. Because a woman.

Aren't there a lot of women, though, looking to abuse that?

Oh, yeah.

I. E. I just want to find someone who can finance everything for me and I'll just take it. Thanks. And what are you giving in return?

So there are a lot of toxic women like that who are looking for just like a bait, a man to pay for their life.

Yeah. You know, and so surely a great filter. So you've done the qualify. You. You don't qualify. What about just sitting there and waiting on the reaction? Because surely a good qualifier for a gold digger is to see how she responds to when the bill comes out. If she's got no willingness to even talk about who's paying.

Ah, so you're telling me, what if a man is testing me to see if I'm a gold digger?

I mean, like. Well, you're just. I. You and I. Yeah, but you're putting me through the test.

I'm not testing you. I'm having an honest conversation. It's not a test.

Okay, so then in that case, we need to have an honest conversation about the bill. Would you expect me to pay the bill every single time we went out?

Not every single time. If we're in a relationship, we can. I don't mind.

But you want someone on my level of success. We've already. Yeah, because we're, you know, the date the bill comes at the end of the day.

Yeah.

So, like, you want someone on the equal level of success. Great. Shouldn't we be splitting the bills?

No. 50. No.

But we're on an equal level of success. But now you want me to pay for.

Would you. Would you want your daughter to pay for her dates? Dinner?

Well, I mean, the good thing is probably give her a bit of control. I mean, she's 10, so hopefully she's not dating. Otherwise I don't go from Peterborough. But that's bad.

You wouldn't want that. Would you allow a woman to pay on a first date?

I absolutely would allow. I mean, don't forget, I haven't dated since 1911.

I know.

Okay, so I am not an expert in dating. I personally, I would not want someone to come to me for my money. No, only. And I've had that quite a lot and I'm married and I've had that. Yeah, that, that happens to me.

Oh, I, I feel you.

So I, I, I need that not to be in my life.

Easy.

Yeah.

Have the right conversation.

Well, that's what I'm just saying. So, so how would you expect. That's what we're talking about now.

Have you. Okay, let me, how would I mean? You know, simple. I'll, I'll break it down for you very easily. You said, let's go, we're in a date right now. And the bill comes and you want to test if I'm a gold digger. So you want to see if I'm going to pay or not, right? It's not, it's okay. You're a man, you want to test, right?

Well, you've been testing me the whole time.

I have been having an honest conversation.

All right, filter qualification process.

But, but same thing. If, if you think it's right to test me in this way, then I will go to the club and I'm gonna grind on every man in the club to see if you're jealous or not. Is that okay?

It's different. It's the first date and we're just like. That is not the same.

No one should test anyone.

You're testing me the whole time. I know you say an honest conversation, but it's like test is a semantic word. So let's use check. If there's a good fit, is that better? Better language.

So the bill will show you if I'm a good fit. What if I'm a high valued woman that knows her worth and doesn't want to pay it, but I'm not a gold digger. You lose me for that. Rob, it doesn't work like that.

Well, I mean, look, you've got more experience dating than me, so believe it.

Or not, people, okay. You know how many I've had in my whole, and I'm 39 years old, I've been with five people in total. That's it. And I've been as in two married and three relationships.

Okay?

Okay. And I went on like dates. Okay. In the Arab world, date means relationship, but in your world it means dinner and stuff like that, Right?

Initial.

Got it. Yeah. So dating, I'd say I've been on four or five men don't approach me.

Right.

And I'm glad because I, I don't give you that energy. I'm real. I, if, if you can't keep up with this, you're Not. The thing is. Look. Yeah, the thing is, a lot of men told me you're very intimidating. I like it. If you're not masculine enough and in.

Into your masculinity, I don't think you're intimidating.

But a lot of weak men think that. That I'm intimidating.

Yeah. So maybe that's a good filter for you.

Of course it's a good filter. A lot of women.

I want to come back to this paying thing, though. I think.

Okay, let's go back.

I think you've got. I think you've judged me a bit.

No, I didn't judge you. Yeah, No, I didn't judge you.

Like, I. I would want to find a filter to know and like.

Can I teach you?

You can in a moment. I'd love you to teach me. So I was talking to Andrew yesterday, Andrew Tate. We were here, but upstairs. And he's like, you know, relationships are transactional. Everything's a transaction, you know, and he wasn't being as cold as that. But it's like, you know, yeah, there's a transaction and he didn't really think that anyone. You don't love people for who they are. You love people for what you can get from them. And it made me think a bit, because in a way, you're saying, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. So, yeah, I'm sure you're going to give love, but I'm sure you want things in return. I would never want someone who only wants me for my money. I want someone who likes who I am as a person and a soul and an energy and, you know, maybe, you know, my wife says she likes my ambition, she likes my drive, all of these things. So I'd want to find a way of just like, you want to get up after two minutes.

Easy. Yeah, very easy. I don't believe relationship are transactional. I mean, everything in life is trans. Is given.

It's an exchange.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's the law of the universe.

Yeah.

The universe gives and takes. Yeah. God gives and takes.

It's an exchange.

Everyone gives and takes.

Yeah. So transaction sounds like a cold word. Let's use exchange.

The thing. The thing is, I don't want the man for his money. There are so many rich men around, I can easily just put my hand up and get a rich man right now. I don't want that. Boring af.

But you expect me to pay for everything.

I know I don't expect you to pay for everything. This is a first date, right?

So I should Pay for the first day. Okay. Who pays for the second date?

Because if I paid on the first date, I would never see you again. If you allowed a woman, a stranger that you went to get to know to pay for you, I feel like I'm on a date with a princess.

If someone paid for a day, I'd be like, oh, okay. I wouldn't be like, but if we.

Are in a relationship, oh, I would pay to fix your car. If you're down, I'll lift you up. If you're my partner.

Yeah.

Yes. I would do whatever it takes for my partner. But, bro, I just met you. But it's a date. No, it's a date. And this is.

So you're saying the rules of engagement, of the date is that the man pays for the day?

Of course.

It's, it's so you say, of course. Fine. And then the second date, he pays. And then the third date, I would.

Pay because there wouldn't be a third date unless he's awesome.

Right? Okay.

I don't mind paying. Third date, you will see me pull out my card. Fourth date, you see me pull up. Try. I will always try. And I will also sneak to pay sometimes because if. Look, I, I believe in this. If my man gets me a ring, I get him a suit. If my man gives me something, I give him something. I, I, I, I, I love love.

And I love so many people that aren't like that, though. Isn't there in this?

But let me teach you how to filter that. Okay, Rob, it's easy. Have you ever entered a room and sat with a gold digger and did not know she's a gold digger? Energetically?

No. It's pretty. I suppose it's pretty obvious.

Pretty obvious, right?

Yeah.

And trust me, they can come dressed in suits, they can come covered up, they can come not covered up, they can come dressed in anything. But then it's energy.

Yeah.

Doesn't lie.

So then if that, if you've got that energy of someone who's a gold digger, the most fun thing in the world is to just sit there when the bill comes out and just watch them sweat.

Yeah, but that'd be hilarious. It would be fun. I would love to see something like that. Right, but on tv, not in real life. I'll tell you why.

Right?

Because karma is a.

But that's not unkind. And I'm not saying I'm not going to pay. I'm just going to watch what happens.

But you know why? It's why it's unkind. The The. The whole shebang you did is funny. The intention is unkind. That's where the karma happened. Karma doesn't happen based on action. Your intentions.

Yeah, but their intentions are unkind.

Yeah, but why did you have to do that? Just leave?

Why'd you just pay and leave?

Why did you have to fill the table with food and make her pay? What if she can't afford it?

I'm not gonna make anyone pay. Don't misunderstand me.

What you're testing?

Well, you just said if. Let's. I'm getting the energy of a gold digger, and I don't want a gold digger. What am I gonna. So you're saying I should say, look, the energy's off here. I just don't think we're going to work. I'm gonna take the.

You missed the twist, the plot.

Remember, I haven't dated since 9. 11. This is like. Everyone watching you should just see this as, like, me learning. And clearly, I'm a. I'm a good beginner student.

No. So you said if I was out with a gold digger, it'd be fun to watch the bill come in the end. So you already. Yeah, like, so you already knew she was a gold digger. Why'd you stay? Respect yourself enough to get up.

But, like, you might answer a question wrong on this show that I don't want. I'm not going to get up and leave. It's fun, you know, it's fun to have a bit.

There's nobody.

A bit of awkwardness and weirdness and, you know, interaction and see how people are.

You. You can have a narcissist sit in this show. You're not having a relationship with them, you're not eating with them, you're not friends with them. It's. It's just a transactional show. I leave, then I'm gone. Right? It's an episode.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. It is different.

See?

Okay, so you teach me then.

I swear. I swear to God. I cannot emphasize on this. If you want to pick up. See, the thing is, think of us as computers, right? We have codes, right? Our codes are in our frequency and it's surrounding us in a radius. Right? Whatever you think you feel inside, you don't have to speak it, you don't have to act it. It's coded in your energy. That's why when you walk in a room, somebody's smiling, but you're like, oh, my God, babe, are you okay? I feel like you're not okay. And she's smiling. It's because Energy doesn't lie. Her body language can lie. Her dressing can lie. His dressing can lie. Energy doesn't lie. When someone's feeling down, you know it, even if they don't say it, because energy guys tune into your freaking energy. But when you do the inner work, there's more alignment and the antenna is out more. When, when you're not done the work, the antennas inside, and it's pings you every now and then. But when you do the inner work, the antennas out, and you pick up on every single thing energetically and you don't have to disrespect anyone when you walk away from something because you don't need to disrespect someone to feel good respectfully, with love, with empathy, leave. That's it. As simple as that. The advice you give your friend. For example, your friend tells you, rob, I was on a date. A girl tells you, and the guy made me pay the first day. What are you going to tell her?

Well, but let's just be clear. If I ever get dating ever again, I'm not going make anyone pay.

I know I'll probably.

I probably pay.

I know that you're the type of guy that will always pay. Yeah, for a day. I know that. But I know where you're taking me with those questions. I get it. So if your friend came up to your best friend, a female, and tells you, listen, I was on a date with this guy and I was trying to have an honest conversation because I've been through a lot in my life, he wouldn't speak about it. In the end, I paid the bill. What would you say? Don't go on that date again. Don't ever think of going on that date again.

Yeah, I probably would.

Were you sitting in that room?

No.

With them? No.

No.

Could you pick up on the bullshit?

Yeah, but remember, someone's going to tell you a story in their version, they're not going to give you the other side.

Well, I hope your friends are honest to you because. Yeah, because look, the thing is, when you do the inner work, even your friends change. You should see my friends two years ago, and my friends now. My friends now are like very like conscious human beings. We uplift each other, we love each other. There's no agenda. We travel together, we live together, we do everything together. I love it. We're tribe, you know, and this came after healing. Before that, oh, my God, the leeches, the, the, the gold diggers. Okay, let me put it this way. Every relationship I had in my life, I financially Provided for men. I never. I was never with a man that paid for me, really, Ever. In my. And I swear to God, in my whole entire life, ever. Only on dates. Like.

So all these men got you, and now I have to pay on the first date?

Yeah, babe, it's not going to work anymore. Just playing, Been there, done that, wear a T shirt shirt.

So. So in your. With your two divorces, you walked away with nothing?

No, not nothing. Are you kidding me? Nothing? Nothing. Nothing.

Well, you just said you paid for everything.

Nothing, I paid for everything. And one of my exes stole a lot of money as well, so. Nothing. I walked away with nothing. I. I was paying for, like. Okay, not. Not just paying for dinner, groceries, dinner, their travel with their male friends, their tire breaks, their car, the house rent.

And so you were obviously attracting people like that.

I. Yeah.

That's why you don't want. Yeah, that's why you're not paying the first.

No, no, no, no. It's just that I didn't know the reason I was doing it back then is because I will do anything for you to love me. Choose me. I wanted love. I was hungry for love.

Yeah. Yeah.

And. And there's a saying that I love so much. It says that if you. If you didn't. If you were not fed love on a silver spoon when you're young, you'll learn how to lick it off a knife. It's as simple as that. I was licking love of a knife all my life, begging to be loved. Not anymore. I love myself. To be honest, I don't care. Rob, I swear to God, if I die single and never have kids again, I'm content.

Yeah, but what about your, like, sexual urges? I mean, they can.

The sexual urges are not there unless I'm in a relationship.

So you could have no relationship for three years and not have any sexual urges?

No, because I'll tell you why. If your desires control you, you're not free. My desires don't control me. I don't think of anything. If I'm not in a relationship, why am I lusting over something that I don't have around? This has all been programmed to us or. You need to have sexual things. You need to be. You can't. You men can get it on with themselves. Women, I mean. I mean, it's. It's. It's. I don't need any sexual activities unless I'm married or in a relationship. Yeah, that's it. I don't need anything.

So you're saying when you let me get this. Right. Are you saying when you love yourself, you don't need to seek love from others? You don't need to.

Zero.

You don't need any love from others when you love yourself.

Zero.

Oh, so then I must. I must not love myself, then zero.

And I. And my kid is raised that way. I am not like me and my child.

But isn't it core human need, connection.

I have connection. I have my kid. I have my friends. They love me.

So you do need love.

No, I need love, of course, to survive this world, obviously. But do I. A relationship love? I don't need it. It's not a need. It's a want. And if it's a need, it's transactional. That's what you were talking about. So let's say I need you. Don't leave me. I need you. I'm gonna die without you. Without you, I'm not happy. Which means, Rob, I don't love who you are. I love what you give me, how you make me feel. I love the gap you fill in me because I can't feel in myself. So I want you. It's transactional. It's. It's conditional. But if I am content, I don't need anything, Rob, but I love you for who you are. It's beautiful.

Okay, so need.

Need means lack, right? Want means I have abundance. I just want you. I don't need you. I have abundance. I don't need anybody. I'm good. I swear to God, I. You have no idea how much I love solitude. Sometimes I love sitting alone for, like, days and days and days because I cannot think. I cannot, let's say, look at. Like, I do this every night where I sit down and I look at my whole day, and I. I do accountability, practice. What did I do wrong today that I don't want to repeat tomorrow? Was I mean to anybody? Do I need to apologize? Did I overreact to something? And I go and pick up the phone and I call everyone and fix up everything. I. And then the next day, I'm better than the person I was yesterday. So, you know when people ask me the question, like, what's your plans for the future? I don't know where life takes me. I'll go business wise, life wise, I don't care. I'm going with the flow. But I can promise you one thing, that I'll be better than the Sarah you met yesterday. That is something I'm working on every. That's my goal in life, to be the best version of me. That's it? And by doing that, by loving myself like that, I have the capacity to love everyone else. Else. And this is why, you know, Rob, you know, I've never understood why on the plane, okay, I kind of understood when they tell you put your mask on first before you help others. And I was like, yeah, but I love helping others. I don't get it. Why can't I help the one next to me? Then put it on? And then, you know, my healer told me this. He said, do you love helping people? I said, yeah. You love helping a lot of people? I said, yeah. He says, well, on a plane, the reason why they tell you put your mask on first is because if your mask on first, you're alive, you can save more people. If you're dead and you save two people next to you, it's gone. What did you do? You saved two. But you can save more by loving yourself. So the concept of self. Love is selfless. It's not selfish at all. It's as simple as that. It's as simple as the. The concept of put your mask on first. The breathing, the thing on first on the plane. It's as simple as that. Because if I do, because if I'm okay, I can take care of so many other, so many more people. If I put it on the two next to me on the plane, they're alive, I die. So I can't save any. So it's as simple as that.

Okay? Do you think it's really important for a woman to be financially independent?

Yes. 100. Because if.

But you just said a man to provide.

See, the thing is, what does provide mean, Rob? What does. What does provide mean to you? Provide means a shelter, a house. Okay.

Which is expensive. The most expensive thing.

Why you cannot live in an apartment. Two bedroom, one bedroom.

Yeah, but if you look at most people's overheads, expenses, the houses, the living is the most expensive.

Yeah. So the man, you can still rent.

But it's still expensive. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, but. But why. Why would I rent something that my man can't afford? It's. It's. Why are you marrying or dating a woman that wants more than you can afford that what, likes to chew more than she can eat? It's a simple concept, Rob. It's very simple. So. So I'll tell you what providing is. A man should provide what a woman needs. What does a woman need? Shelter, food. That's it. Protection. That's it. Protect her and provide for her.

A lot of emotional conversations I've learned over, but But.

And this is what my father.

To her child.

Exactly. So. So. And you asked me, you said something in the beginning. You said, okay, I will pay. I'll pay, I'll pay. What is she giving me? A woman is a multiplier. You give her a semen, she makes a baby. You give her ingredients, she makes food, you give her a house, she makes it a home. And, and you, you know, a woman takes things and she amplifies it for you, but you need to give it to her, Right? And how am I supposed to raise your kids, take care of myself and do everything while I'm providing for. No, that's a man's job. I will take care of everything else for you. I will take care of your mental health, I will take care of your spirituality. I'll take care of your heart, I'll take care of everything. Just take care of me. So now the needs of one woman to another is different. One woman needs a house, a mansion on the beach. One woman needs just a house with you both in it. Even if it's a tent, she doesn't care. Choose your partners wisely. It's as simple as that. And the thing is, I'm Muslim, right? So from my religion, this is what God says. God says, give a woman what she needs, Provide what she needs, what she wants. She has a salary to get it. So, for example, let's say, babe, you're providing everything I need, but I want an LV bag that's for like $30,000 or Birkin. I work, I'm independent, I go get what I want.

Yeah.

And if a man gives me what I want, great. But if he can't provide it, I go get what I want.

But it's difficult if you're raising a child as well. And you're like being a great. Can you be a great mum? Give the time that your child needs and run loads of businesses? Yes, you can.

Yes. Don't.

How.

Please don't limit women like that.

I don't know. I asked a question. I'm not limiting anyone.

A lot of women think like that. Because. Yeah. So I'll tell you why I don't believe. Okay, let me put it this way. We are. Women are the power of creation. We have a portal. We bring life into this world. Right? Very sacred. The sacred exchange. So the way we are attached to our children is completely wrong. I have no attachment to my child. Child at all. Zero.

How do you mean?

Me and my son, we have no attachment to each other. Attachment is unhealthy.

How do you mean?

We love each other. We are connected, not attached. It means I don't die without him, he doesn't die without me. That's not. We're not attached to each other, but we love each other a lot and we're connected. Because attachment means I have something missing and I'm attached to you and I need it. Mom, I cannot live without you. Then it becomes a mama's way. Then I become a overprotective mother in law in the future. I have no attachment in life. Zero. Nothing owns me. I own nothing. I'm here on an experience. Even that kid, My, my son that I love to pieces when I die. He's not my kid up there. He's an energy. It's a human experience. But we get attached so much of this experience. We think this is what life is about. It's not. We're here for a short period of time experiencing something. So women are not made to produce children and raise them and forget about their dreams? No. I run nine companies. I have a kid and my kid, if you meet him, beautiful soul, very mature boy, nine year old, very independent, very fun, very charismatic and old soul. You. I feel like my son is older than me energetically. He teaches me so much, like it's crazy. Our children are our teachers. So the point is that I. Women were not made to just disconnect from life and do this. That's not fair. So the man goes out there and lives his life and enjoys and I'm giving up everything to raise a kid that's going to one day leave me and go with another woman and forget about me, that I'm too old to live life. This is society conditioning. No women can give birth, bring children, take care of them at the same time, live their dreams and. And by the way, by doing this, you're teaching your kids not to give up on their dreams. If I'm giving up everything for my kid, what am I showing my kids daughter one day give it all up for somebody. No, I want to show him how his mom is a hustler. How his mom is creating, how his mom is changing the world and raise him at the same time. What's wrong with that?

There's some power energy coming out there. My energy's in tune. Power energy.

Yeah.

And.

And by the way, does the mommy guilt hit? Of course. And guess what? When the mommy guilt hits, it's great because it means you're not a sociopath, you have feelings.

Yeah.

So reality check. She. She's normal, right?

Yeah.

And it's okay to feel guilt, but it's not okay to operate on guilt. So I could. Which means, like, for example, if I travel for work for 10 days, I'm giving a speech somewhere. I feel guilty for being away from my son, but doesn't mean I'm going to cut my trip short and come back. No way. On the weekends, I have a day where I leave my kid. I don't have a kid. He doesn't have a mom. He has his friends. And I have my life. And we enjoy our life, each one alone.

Yeah.

It doesn't mean the mommy guilt kicks in. It doesn't mean I'm going to leave my friends and go back.

No. Yeah.

Mommy guilt is just a check for you to understand that. You're not a narcissist. You're normal. You're not a sociopath. You have feelings. It's normal. Yeah, but don't act on that guilt.

Okay?

It's normal. Go out there, work. Live your dreams. Live your life. And for men to expect women to just produce and sit. We're not DHL packages dropping stuff to you. No, it doesn't work that way. It is not Aramx, bro. No, it doesn't. We don't come with stuff. And no, it doesn't work like that. So I really genuinely feel like women have the right to live even. Even like another. You asked me that question earlier. You said topics about relationships that are not spoken about a lot, you know, And I told you one of them is being the right one instead of finding the right one. And then you can attract the right one.

Right.

Another thing that. That you know, that people don't talk a lot. A lot about is toxic masculinity. And it's picking up right now. Right? Toxic masculinity is expecting the woman to sit at home and do this and do nothing and have no life but to raise your kids. That's toxic masculinity because you're out there living. She's not. How is that fair? We're both having a human experience, but.

There'S also a lot of men out there slaving.

Of course I'm not saying that. I'm not saying. I'm not. I. I love men. I love everything men did for us. Without men, we would not have tunnels, roads, bridges, nothing.

Yeah.

And trust me, I'm not a. I'm not a 2025 feminist. I hate that. No, no, I'm. No, I don't want to make this a woman's world. Yeah, not at all. And I'll say something that a lot of women might hate me for saying it. The reason it's a man's world is because of women. We raise these men, we produce these men, we create these men. When we raise them, what do we tell them? What do we. What do women tell their kids? Babe, you're gonna grow up and become a businessman. You're going to meet a woman, she's going to sit home, she's going to take care of your kids. You, she's going to listen to you. You're going to be a great man. You're going to be. Going to be. And then her daughter gets married to a man that does the same thing she was teaching her son to do to women. She gets upset. She asked her daughter to get a divorce. Why doesn't he allow my daughter to work? Why doesn't he allow my daughter to go out with her friends? Wait, Karen, isn't that what you taught your son to do to women? I just. I just don't understand. So the reason it's a man's world is because we train these men to become. Become like that. We created that space for men to be like that. We made them like that towards women because we are selfish, because we operate from trauma, because generations of unhealed people are raising unhealed people, producing unhealed children. And it's enough for me. It was enough. We don't do that in our household at all.

All right, well, like, I don't know if you know what the time is, but I do. And I know that I don't want to make you well or you make you mega late.

Yeah.

So, dear narcissist. You.

Yeah.

That's the name of your book?

Yeah.

Wow. So no, there's some energy in that title.

Oh, yeah. I. I earned that title. I freaking earned that title. Blood and sweat and tears.

So can people get that book now?

Yeah. So I self published the book on Amazon. Amazon.com?

Yeah.

And we are working on putting it in a couple of countries, but right now it's just on Amazon and it's doing great. It was when it first dropped, it became like bestseller and it's became like choice of Amazon and all that. So I'm so grateful to have done.

It this way and thank you for my big box set.

Yeah. Yeah. Check out the kit it has. Cool stuff.

Yeah.

I kept you this inside.

Oh, thank you.

So do you know what this is?

Is it a crystal?

A black obsidian.

Okay. Yeah.

So this protects you from dark energies and like dark entities. In the spiritual world and in 3D. And it works like. It's really strong.

Yeah. Well, thank you. So. And where. Where can people follow you if they don't know much of your work already?

Social media. Sarah Al Madani. That's it. Everywhere. Yeah.

All right. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

This was fun.

It was. I love it because you challenge me. A lot of podcasters don't, but you did. Thank you for that.

Thank you. This episode was brought to you by Disruptive Media, helping bold entrepreneurs stand out through podcasting, video and social content. Visit disruptivemedia.co.uk to learn more. This episode was brought to you by Disruptive Media, helping bold entrepreneurs stand out through podcasting, video and social content. Visit disruptivemedia.co.uk to learn more.