140: MMM - Thoughts on that amazing BBC video: What Would You Do?

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking, because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful. That's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so we're waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey everybody, it is so good to be back with you this week. And Kyle, I'm There's been some really exciting things coming down the pipeline, and next up, next week, I'm so pumped and excited to share with you my interview with Brad Montague from Kid President. He's the creator of Kid President, and I got to see him speak last year at Story, and, and that was just whimsical and wonderful and fun, just like him. So I'm really excited for that interview next week, but this week I had to kind of jump into this because I'm sure you have all seen the BBC interview of this, this, this like serious professor dude. He has a name, he has a real name. It's Robert Kelly, Professor Robert Kelly, and he's in his office doing an interview with the BBC, right? So this is not like a small-time thing, and then by Behind him, real life comes just like tumbling into his room, and it is truly one of the best comedic videos I have ever seen. And I have watched it probably a dozen times, and every time I watch it, I'm like, laugh so hard that I'm crying. I, I think it may be— it's like my most favorite thing ever. But I realized that there's actually something there for us to talk about and to think about because What would you do? What would you do in that situation? And we watch what, um, Professor Kelly does. And, and I really— I don't want to change a thing about this video. And it's really— what I want to talk about is not really about, um, what he should have done, but I think there's— there— this gives us a chance, um, to peel this apart a little bit because I think there's a reason why so many people, like 23 million and counting, have enjoyed this video and shared it and have laughed like I have just continuously. Because, uh, real life just rams up against, just slams through this serious facade. And I love that these two worlds just come crashing into each other because we spend a lot of time creating these facades of seriousness. So I mean, for this guy, real life just came barreling into his super serious credibility-building moment in the form of this adorable pigtailed toddler and this zooming baby stroller and the panicking wife. Oh my god, I love the panicking wife. She is amazing. The moves. Okay, so stop right now. If if you have not watched this video, go watch it right now. Um, if you click on the link on in the show notes, it'll take you right to that video. You've got to watch it and, and then come back and listen to this, because I'm guessing this is— this is— that video is not how Professor Kelly wanted to be put on the map, but this is the thing that is putting him on the map. And to To his credit and his wife's credit, they are, they're really embracing this and with humor and grace, and I love these people for it. But it kind of had me thinking, like, okay, that has happened to me. Not— I mean, I've, I've not been interviewing with the BBC when it happened, but I've been on lots of podcast conversations and my kids come just kind of rambling into the room. But if it was more of a high-stakes situation, like, what would I have done? Would I have like palmed my kid in the face in the hopes that the camera was, was only getting me from the shoulders up? Um, probably. Would I have like just scooped my little one up and kept right on going like we've seen some of those spoofs do? Um, probably not. I'm not that talented. Would I have made a joke about it and tried to really deal with the situation head-on and, and acknowledge it? I, I hope so. But it's not an easy situation, of course, because what we're dealing with in that moment in particular are some really strong norms and expectations. The TV interview in particular, especially with something like the BBC, has some very strong norms that do not include toddlers and panicking partners barreling into the room and dragging out your kids while you are trying to talk about affairs of state. I mean, these two worlds don't normally come together. Like, what do we do when real life comes barreling in to a situation that normally doesn't tolerate it? And I can't help but think about us as speakers when we are doing— giving a keynote or up on stage. These are like the credibility-building serious moments that we want to sort of protect from the hilarity and the chaos of real life. But sometimes they come crashing into us. And so if you find yourself in a situation where real life is barreling its way into your carefully planned moment, here's what I think you should do. One, acknowledge it. So in this video, the interviewer gave this gift to the dad— we'll just call him that for simplicity's sake— by pointing out, um, he kind of pointed out and said, uh, basically like, uh, hi, there's your kid. We can all see that your child has just walked into the shot. Well, that was the dad's chance to say, oh wow, excuse me for a minute, and, you know, turn around, kindly deal with that adorable little girl, and walk her back out of the room. And I love this little girl. I have to tell you, I love her. She is amazing. I want to approach all of life like this little girl approaches life, just walking her way into any room whose door has been closed to her. Yeah, she is full of sass. I just think she's amazing. And some of you, like, as we've talked about this, we're like, well, he couldn't, he couldn't deal with it because he probably wasn't wearing pants. Well, there is a good lesson for you, my friends. Always wear your pants unless you want people to see your undies or deal with the consequences. All right, so first, acknowledge it. Second, this is an opportunity for you to turn it into a light moment, to joke about it in some way. It doesn't have to be like funny funny haha, you know, like ba dum bum joke, but a light moment to help defuse the situation. He could have said, "Haha, perils of working from home," right? Or, "Good thing she's so cute, huh?" Or I'm sure you guys are gonna totally take me seriously now. I mean, just being able to joke about the thing that just happened and bring lightness to that moment. And honestly, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you speak directly to it and let people know that you are controlling that moment and and you're okay with it. What it does is it relieves the audience of any embarrassment that they might be feeling for you, and everybody laughs and you kind of move on. So, um, Mr. Kelly in the video, he— when he started sort of laughing and enjoying it, it made the whole thing that much funnier because I wasn't mortified for him. And, uh, You don't ever want your audience to be mortified for you. So if you can sort of enjoy the chaos and hilarity that's happening, that is helpful, that is powerful, and then you can move on. But the last piece is this, because I say moving on like it's so easy. What probably will happen after that is there will be some sense of— and this is a strong word— but shame that is just gonna come coursing through you because, oh my gosh, what you're going to be doing is reliving it in your head and going, oh, what just happened? I can't believe that just happened. I'm on the BBC. Like, whoo, it's gonna bring up some stuff. Um, and obviously your situation and any other situation is going to be different than the one that happened on YouTube. I'm thinking about again, I can't stop laughing, it's so funny. But what just happened, whatever just happened, is you being a human, a real human. And whatever happened, however you handled it or didn't handle it, you did your best. You can't go back and you can't change it, and now you can only control how you deal with it. And so we try and laugh it off and get really grounded in in the reality that our humanness is what connects us, and that is no small thing. And that is exactly what this beautiful family has done. I read this wonderful article about how they've embraced this moment. They've owned their humanity. They've held up the lightness and the joy and the chaos of being a parent and also trying to be a serious expert out into the world. And so now I'm a fan for life because I so respect how they have acknowledged it, that they've tried to bring lightness to it, and they are just owning it and, and fighting against the instinct that we have too often to try and show the perfectness because they I hope, are seeing and experiencing that their humanness and that unbelievable moment caught on camera, um, is what connects us to them. It is why I feel so attached to these beautiful people. So next time, if you find yourself in a situation where you do not want the messiness of life to creep in and it creeps in anyway, um, just first acknowledge it Second, try and bring some lightness and joy to it. And third and lastly, breathe through any feelings of shame that might course through you and remember that your humanness is what connects. And if you haven't seen this video yet, go watch it right now. But I'm guessing you have because like 23, 24 million people have watched it at this point. So, you know, that's not the entire world, but If you think about— oh my God, just please go watch this video. It's so fantastic and wonderful, and I included a few fun links and GIFs that have been going around, and I really spent a lot of time last week just laughing my head off thanks to these people and the life that was just brought to the BBC. I've never enjoyed the BBC so much in my whole life. Oh my gosh. Okay, it was so great. All right, that's it for me. I'll see you next week with Brad Montague. You do not want to miss it. It's going to be great. It actually kind of kicks off a whole series of some amazing interviews that I've got lined up that I'm super excited about. And I want to let you know, uh, on my website I've got a new series that I would love to sort of tease for you if you're interested in it. And what I'm talking about are speaking truths. And, and I'm actually going to bring the series onto the show in the next month, maybe even sooner than that, um, but to talk about the ideas— I think the core ideas of what we need to embrace as speakers if we really want to do transformative work, and these are ideas that if, if we don't fully embrace them, then we're not really realizing our true capacity. So I'm really excited to share those with you, and if you want, you can find them over on my website. I've got a free email course that walks through them as well. Thismovedme.com. Okay, that's it. Check you later. Bye. Ah, this song is gonna get into your head and it's never gonna leave. You're gonna be so happy.