155 MMM: 10 Essential Speaking Lessons from STORY 2017

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking, because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful. That's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey Movers, it's Sally Koering Zimney, and oh my gosh, it's been a while since the two of us— because just me and you— pretty much just sitting down and chatting and processing some of the amazing experiences that I have had the privilege to be a part of over the last few weeks. Oh my, September, holy cow, has been amazing and a whirlwind and kind of crazy, but all kinds of really good stuff. So I am devoting this show to some of the key lessons that I took from my experience at Story 2017 this year. And if you've been listening to this show, then you know I'm a fan. I went to Story a year ago, and 2 years ago I was turned on to Story from a guest on my show, Lindsay O'Connor. And Lindsay brought me, like, read to me some of their marketing materials, and I was like, what? I have got to go to this. This sounds amazing. And when I went last year, I was not disappointed. It was inspiration, fuel for the creative soul. And the, the through line in this conference or event— it's really an event— the through line in this event is that it's all about story for storytellers. So that manifests itself in all kinds of different ways. There's photographers and writers and bloggers and social media people and advertisers and speakers and coaches. And I mean, it's kind of this really amazing array of people that they draw from all different walks of life, throw us in one room together in this gorgeous theater, and then put on a show and ask these brilliant minds and brilliant hearts to show up and kind of do their thing. And, uh, I was so thrilled to be a part of it this year. I did a breakout session, did some live coaching. Uh, it was really fun. Also, uh, yeah, it was— I mean, it was full of all kinds of adventures, which was great. But I, I distilled my time there into 10 lessons from Story that we as speakers and movers can be reminded of and take with us. So, uh, There's really no particular order in this, but these are just the— as, as they came to me, the 10 things that I thought I want to remember in terms of best practices, what we can be doing and be reminded of when we are putting out our work and putting ourselves up in front of an audience. So lesson number 1: treat your event like an experience for the senses. Because this is something that Story does incredibly well. They really invest in the experience, not just in the speakers and in, in that sort of exchange, but it's about from the moment you walk in the experience that you're having. So there were circus performers because the theme this year was a Carnival of Curiosities, so it had this circus theme to it, but the program book was beautiful. They had this whole circus mall that you could walk through. The event space was so beautiful. There were creative activities for us to do in between sessions. And like, at one point I walked out into the lobby and there was a woman dancing with a snake. I was like, what? What? Why is there a snake here? Oh my gosh, freaking out, freaking out. I was freaking out, but It was that sort of intentionality to the experience that we were all having in there, which I love. So that's number 1, treat your event like an experience for the senses. Number 2 is to make it interactive. And this is sort of building on the last one, but I loved how the spirit of interactivity really seeped in beyond just the event itself and sort of what Harris, the event producer was doing, but I loved how a lot of the speakers made it interactive. Brad Montague started the event and we, we sang a song for this sweet old woman who I cannot wait for this video to come out because it was so touching and sweet. We had photographers having us taking pictures of each other. We had us doing like art therapy in the middle of it. So even though we're in this giant theater, you know, there's 900 of us in there. It had this interactive feel to it. It was not just passive listening. And sometimes I like that. I like to just sit back and take it in, but it had a really nice balance of that. And so the spirit of interactivity and sort of connection and that we are like diving in and engaging in this stuff was throughout the entire thing. So that's number 2: make it interactive. Number 3 is that I think a really important mind reminder for us that your keynote speakers don't have to be quote-unquote speakers. So the best example of this was a woman who spoke on the final day. Her name is Miss Aniela, although I think that's just her art— artistic name. That's her professional name. She is this really unbelievable photographer who's done— it's like she takes artwork and photography and mashes them together, and she's done some really incredibly daring work. And she's this teeny tiny little woman, and she got up on stage, and I was kind of curious what was gonna happen because she's a photographer, she's not a speaker, that's not her thing. But I Harris saw something in her that he wanted to pull out and draw out for all of us regardless of her speaking experience. And what I love is that she did it exactly the way she should do it. It was— her photography is really poetry and kind of this mystery. It's got this mystical nature to it and it's art sort of all baked in there. And that's exactly how she approached this moment as a speaker. She read what to me sounded like poetry. It was prose, it was so beautifully done, but she read it off of pieces of paper, which is unusual. You don't see that very often. But it was timed perfectly to her slides that had this like Ken Burns effect as they were moving in and out of her paintings as she told the story. So it was just a reminder to me again that we get to create the moment. And especially if you have the support of the event producers, like obviously they do here at Story, that you can do what is exactly right for you. And that is what makes it moving and interesting. She was not like, okay, since I'm getting up in front of 900 people and they expect me to talk, I'm gonna do it like how you would expect. I loved that. I love that she didn't do what we expected. It was so great. So your keynote speakers don't have to be speakers. All right, lesson 4 is that brave is compelling. And we know this, we know this, of course we know this, but it is so cool to see it. So there's a woman named Mackenzie Hewne from Pinterest. And she's the creative lead there. And she got up to speak, and you could tell she was being cautious, right, and controlled. She stood behind her podium, and she talked about her internal critic who she's named Amber. I love this. This is one of my biggest takeaways. She had this moment where she's talking about what Amber says to her when she's creating. And Amber says something really mean, and she just goes, "Ouch, Amber." So now every time something internal, that my internal critic speaks up, I just say, "Ouch, Amber. Back off, Amber," right? So she was being really honest about her vulnerability and her journey. And then she told us, about 3/4 of the way through her talk, she told us that this was her first public talk and that she had been really nervous about it. And everybody applauded. Actually, I think I started that applause because I was like, "Yeah! Oh my gosh, amazing!" But everybody jumped in right away because we were wowed. It was so good anyway. And what's interesting to me, somebody later as I was doing my workshop came up to me and said, you know, I'm curious what you think about admitting, like Mackenzie did, admitting that you're nervous. I said, well, I don't like recommend it necessarily, but because it doesn't seem wise. Well, it worked for Mackenzie, and here's why, is that her nerves were not an excuse for things going badly. So a lot of times when people reveal, they'll be like, I'm sorry, I'm so nervous. She wasn't saying, I'm sorry, I'm nervous. She was just revealing it in the midst of her being brave. And the difference is when you say, I'm so sorry, I'm nervous, right? All of a sudden, like, oh my gosh, you're nervous. Then I start feeling nervous and awkward for you and worried about you a little bit. We weren't worried about Mackenzie because she was being so brave. And so you could see that she was really owning that moment, and that allows us to cheer her on. She was being brave, so we could cheer, rather than really letting her nervousness be the entire story and using that as an excuse for why it's not going well. And there's a really big difference there, even though we're saying the same words. I hope that makes sense. Because brave is compelling, it draws us in, and we see your humanness and we cheer that on. And we want to cheer on your humanness, but if you yourself are hiding from it, are hiding from your own humanness and not walking into it and embracing it, then we start getting nervous for you and start feeling a little awkward about the situation, like, "Uh-oh, she's freaking out up there." like, oh man, this is gonna be bad. I never once had that thought. And it's not like Mackenzie is a, you know, polished prolific speaker and then revealed to us that she was nervous. You could see like she was working through it, but that's the thing— she was working through it. She didn't run away from it. This was really cool. Brave is compelling. All right, the 5th lesson is about music. I think events need more music in them because it like dials right into our feels, right? And last year, the music at Story was like really truly some of my most favorite moments in it, which I think is interesting because as a speaker and a speaking coach, I get really pulled into those speaking moments too, but the music is just another way in. For us, to moving people. And so I feel so enveloped by the music. It's like soothing for me and so transformative. And Liz Weiss, who was sort of this highlight musician— oh my gosh, she's a powerhouse, man. And I— she walked out on stage and she was barefoot, and I was like, yeah! And that's how she came across as this really grounded powerful singer whose goal was to absolutely just reach out and touch us. It was so amazing. So music, don't forget music. It's another way in. Lesson number 6 is closing with the start. So if you can, if you have the ability to bookend your speakers or to bookend the theme or the ideas, that is so important and Luckily, which I thought was so powerful, Brad Montague started— he was the first speaker in the morning of day 1 and the last speaker in the afternoon of day 2, closing this loop on what really was an emotional ride, these 2 intense days. And it's really comforting for people. It feels like so intentional and finished, right? So it leaves your audience with this warm, cared-for feeling, and especially the way that they did it was so incredible and beautiful. And most of the time, of course, you don't have that luxury because a lot of times at these conferences, if you're hired to speak, you're in and then you're out, right? Not— it's rare for speakers to really stay and want to dig into the experience. And I think You can feel that. And you could sense that the people involved on the whole at Story were there from beginning to end. Not everybody, of course, because lives are busy and there's other stuff going on. But when you can do that, it says something about like, we're all in this together, kind of, and that we all rode the same journey. And so they can bring the reality of that with them on stage. So I just thought it was really beautiful and powerful. It was a good reminder of bookending and the, and the kind of emotional safety of that, which I really liked. All right, the 7th lesson is a reminder that we are still all thinking too small. And thanks to Jason Jagard, who's reminding me again and again and again that we are capable of so much more than we think. Which we know, I know this, but man, when it comes to it, comes down to it, the— there's so many things that get in the way of us really doing what we are capable of because there's of course fear on the other side of that too. Afraid of how awesome it could be. And Jason, I had him on the show in this past year because I was blown away by him last year at Story, and so I'm hoping to bring him on the show again. Because if I could, I would just follow Jason around and listen to him challenge people because he is so good at it. And some of the things that he said this year that really stuck out for me, uh, is he said, of course, what is the thing that you would do that, that would make failing worth it? Like, yes, I'm going to fail and I'm going to do it anyway. It is worth it anyway. Not just what would you do if you knew you could not fail, but what would you do if you knew you were gonna fail but you're gonna do it anyway? Like, that's what we need to be leaning into and thinking. He talks about how comfort is insidious. I was like, oh, I like that word. But yes, you're right. And that often we're, we're choosing between two legitimate values: comfort and challenge. And if we want to be extraordinary, we really have to focus on challenge rather than comfort. Mm-hmm, speak it, Jason. Okay, so yes, thank you, Jason, once again for challenging me and reminding all of us as creators that we are still thinking too small. We still don't even have a sense of what we're really capable of. And so go big, keep going, go big. All right, lesson number 8 is to keep your audience wondering. And this is really a shout out to Harris, who created this event. And I just can't tell you enough, as a theater person or a former theater person who's done some acting, I so appreciate like the thoughtful transition, the well-timed lights up up and lights down, the intentional flow from piece to piece. It's really a show as much as anything else, and I personally love that. Like, it's lights down, it's, you know, we're being wooed and moved through the process of one thing to the next. It's, you know, if you've heard me talking about— talk about controlling the khan, or who has the khan, like who's controlling the ship, it was always clear who's got the khan in and the sort of intentional shift of like one thing to the next, interview to a talk to a video to, you know, a circus act to another talk to— I mean, it just, it kept me on my toes and just enough that I felt comfortable, like I was in good hands. I knew that, but also curious about what is next, and finding that balance is really hard. And Harris did an awesome job of that. So huge kudos to you, Harris, for continually pushing the creative boundaries, for your thoughtful interviewing of people on stage, for pulling together a really diverse group of minds and mission and hearts and people, and pouring so much of yourself into this event because you could feel it. You could really feel it. And, and when you walked out, Harris, at the end of the event and just sat down, and people, like, just started applauding. Nobody started it, um, you know, like it wasn't cued or anything. It just really came from people because we know how much you've put— you can feel it— how much you would put into this event. And so It was thanks and love to you for everything that you did. So I'm so glad you just sat in that moment and took it in because you deserve it. And I really mean that. I really mean that. I know how much work this is. Actually, I don't know how much work this is. I know how much work other events are, and I can imagine this is even more, even more. Just really incredible. So yes, thank you for your intentional creation of the flow of that show that kept me wondering All right, and here we are, number 9, the people and their— oh, that's number 10. Is that number 10? Hmm, I think I lost track of my numbers. Oh, here it is. I can count. All right, lesson number 9 is about the privilege that I felt and experienced as, as being a part of it. It's just a reminder for us as event people to make every single person feel a part. So I just had this tiny little breakout session that actually I was so happy so many people came and joined in. I was like crossing my fingers that maybe 10 people would show up. I was like, oh, at least 10. Could there please just be 10 people who showed up, please? But then the room was packed. I was so happy. It was great. And I did some live coaching and it went, it went well. It wasn't perfect, but it went well. But I felt so welcomed into the family at Story, even though I was just like little old me doing my thing. And that is no small thing, because when we want people to really show up and do big work and to take it seriously, we have to take them seriously. And so I really appreciated all of the details that made this an experience where I felt I could really contribute as an artist and as a coach and a speaker. And that's what we want. We want to create the conditions for people to really contribute their full self. So it was really great. And when you're surrounded by other incredibly talented people, it ups your game. And I felt that pressure in the best possible way. It really challenged me in the best of ways. So Thank you again for letting me be a part of it. All right, and we are on to the final lesson, lesson 10. And this is a shout out to the people and their passions. All right, and listen to this diverse group of people and their passions, right? So we had Brad Montague, creator of KidPresent, as we know, who brought a song to life for a sweet old lady whose dream it was to sing at the orchestra. And we did that for her. We sang her song at the orchestra. So sing on, little birds, right? From Matt Luhn, the story consultant of many of Pixar's best stories, who reminded us that our job as creators is to make people feel something, which I loved. That's totally up my alley, of course. And also to quote, "Be wrong as fast as you can." I love that. I'm gonna work on being wrong as fast as I can. All right, there's Jon Booker. He's the writer, a futurist who laid out this bold vision for all storytellers to wake up and befriend the monsters. And later, Jon was the one who joined me at my workshop and let me coach him live. And so now I love him forever because that was courage and he did it after knowing me for about 30 seconds. So Awesome. Thank you, John. You're awesome. And Amber Rae, who's this author and coach, reminded us to choose wonder over worry, and I love that sentiment. And Gillian Farabee of Cirque du Soleil, and she's done lots of theater work, and her comfort on stage was a breath of fresh air. Like, she was so comfortable and fully herself on stage and, and was so unabashedly herself in that moment. And So I loved that and just noticed that as a coach, and that's what I want all of us to feel, that sense of comfort. And then she went on to wow us with all this practical advice about how to conquer our fears. I got to meet Brendan Harvey, the creator of Good Newspaper and host of a podcast called Sounds Good. Brendan, so cool, and his quest to bring more good news and positivity to the world. It was very cool. He reminded us that if we can find time to celebrate for 10 seconds. It can change our outlook on the world. I love that. That is so cool. I got to sit next to a woman named Amina Brown at dinner after being blown away by her poetry and her talk earlier in the day. This woman is power and elegance. All I wrote down in my notes, which is saying something because I write a lot of notes, was wow. So that's Amina. I was inspired by a woman named AJ Hassan The woman behind the Like a Girl campaign, right? Oh my gosh, we all know that commercial and how it just went viral all over the world. And she, in her talk, really knocked down the myth that if we want to sell things, we can't also be really excellent storytellers. She has done both, and she's done it really, really well. We got to see poetry come alive by the talented Danielle Bennett, and I I got to have a sit-down chat with one of the— I didn't get to have a sit-down chat, but Harris had a sit-down chat with one of the producers of my favorite show, Madam Secretary, which was so cool. She hangs out with the Morgan Freeman all the time, you know, like you do. But her, her advice for us was really about the story of how, how Persistence is how you get anywhere, and the story of how something comes to life is sometimes a really, really long one. Louie Richardson, the chief storyteller, which I found out was a thing, which is totally awesome, from IBM, he reminded us of this hairy furball of the corporate world and how we as creatives have to orbit around it. We gotta orbit around that mess rather than get sucked into it, and I really like this talk. He did such a great job. He was so simple and clear. It was really well done, and I remember the orbiting hairball very clearly. Antoinette Carroll from Creative Reaction Lab, she's an activist and storyteller. She compelled us, of course, to use our voice and said to start with really defining for yourself what your mission is, getting really personal about that. What is your particular mission? And then do something about it. And it was this wonderful combo because next up was this man named Rich Correll. He's the creator and director of basically every awesome childhood family show that you've ever watched. He had something to do with— he's really an incredible storyteller. And that's what he did. He sat there for 20 minutes and told these unbelievable stories. Of growing up in Hollywood, like living next door to Judy Garland. And, and, you know, he had some great advice for us as creatives and how to keep stepping into our work. It's pretty cool, my gosh. And Steve Spiegel from Disney Imagineering, my favorite line of his, he said, "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." Like, oh, I love that attitude. Yes, it is kind of fun to do the impossible. And then he sat in an impromptu writers' room experience up on stage with Jim Krueger from Marvel Entertainment. So Jim has done some really unbelievable things in the comic book world. And so Jim and Steve were thrown ideas from Harris that were collected from the audience and had themselves their very own little writers' room. It was really cool. Oh my gosh, there is And more. Those are kind of the highlight little nuggets of wisdom that I took from the experience of Story. My hope is that if you were not able to join us at Story 2017 this past year and, and are looking ahead and getting to Nashville or getting to wherever Story 2018 is gonna be is not in the cards for you, because I totally get that, my hope is that this can help bring you just some of the nuggets of wisdom that I took with me from being a part of this incredible experience. It was, it was a joy to be a part of. I'm really grateful for it. All right, that's it for me. 10 lessons from Story 2017. I hope that you have been following along because not only is this podcast out in the world, but I am over on Facebook doing a This Moved Me Live So live workshopping happens on Thursdays at about noon, not every Thursday but most Thursdays when I can, when life sort of aligns, when the stars align. But most Thursdays I'm over there at noon and I'd love to see you over there. So head over to Facebook, facebook.com/thismovedme and connect in with my This Moved Me page and we will stay in touch about that. Or, and, and, it's an and, it's an and, you should head over to my website. I've got a whole bunch of new freebies up and going there and I'm super excited about them. I think they're really cool. In fact, I wanna tell you about a few of them right now. Woo-hoo! All right, so, here's some of the exciting things that are happening over on my website. The first is that soon, I don't have an exact date yet, but soon I'm going to be launching my Moving Presentations online course. All right, it's a start-to-finish prep course to take you from idea to impact. All right, it's walking you through all the little bitty baby steps from creation, content development, to memorizing and integrating it, to delivery practice, to mindset prep. It is gonna be so cool. I'm really, really pumped about it. So if you are interested interested in that, if you sign up now, you can be in the first month, in my launch phase, you can get 50% off the course. I know, it's super exciting. Go check that out. That is on my homepage right at the top. Then if you scroll down, you can see I've got two other really awesome things for you. One is a short on time 3 talk development hacks to get you started faster. Okay, so that's always the biggest crunch is we're short on time. There's some few hacks for you to go check that. Go do that, please. And then I've got my Speaking Truth, the Speaker's Mindset, 7 Speaking Truths email course. It's just a little bit of inspiration for you every day for 7 days. We've got our Speaking Truths there. So, and it's free. So check out those email courses. Okay. And then There's a quiz! You want to find out what kind of speaker you are? I bet you do! Go check that out, alright? I've got a really cool quiz. What kind of speaker are you? Go check that out. Oh my gosh, I'm so tired. Those are so many cool things for you to do. Have you been to my website lately? Okay, let me say this too. If something's not working, let me know because it's totally possible. I do this stuff on my own, and I am not a website person, but I make it work. Unless it doesn't work, in which case I didn't. So if something doesn't work right, please let me know. Just shoot me an email, info@thismovedme.com, and let me know, and I'll get you whatever you need. Okay, cool. That's it for me. Totally pumped to be talking. Check you later. Bye! It's great to be back. I haven't done this in a while. It's really fun. I don't know, in Jason Jagert's words. Get your butt out there. No, he didn't really say that, actually. I don't know. Um, let's see. Wake up, John Booker, right? Wake up and befriend your monsters and go create the impossible because it might be kind of fun. Love it.