184: Tony Loyd - On Becoming a Thought Leader

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. Episode 184, on becoming a thought leader. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking. Because a good talk can move the world. And it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful, that's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey Movers, it is Sally and welcome back Welcome to another episode here on This Moved Me, an interview episode today, which I'm super excited about. I know I say that about all of them, but honestly, I wouldn't bring them to you if I wasn't excited about them. And today I get to share with you Tony Lloyd, who is not just an author and a speaker and a fellow podcast host of the Social Entrepreneur Podcast, But he is and has become a good friend. And Tony and I met back at Ignite. We both spoke at Ignite and, and just, we connect about podcasts, but also just about bringing our ideas to the world because as a speaker, he's out there trying to do that very thing. So I've been really honored to be on his show and he has invited me to coach him a little bit, but he has really become a mentor of mine. You know, he's got this amazing background in business and leadership development. And so he's really been a great support of mine and has been somebody that I will throw ideas to and just get his feedback. And he's already given me such valuable insight and feedback. So I— and aside from that, he just— gosh, I can't wait for you to hear him. Like, he's just got so much humility, but also really powerful, important insights. And that's actually what we're talking about today is becoming a thought leader. What does that really mean? Because it is a journey of not just bringing our ideas forward, but how we as ourselves, our stories, our experiences, our insight, how that shapes meaning and how that can shape what the world is and what it becomes. That's what thought leadership is about. It's not just about the thoughts, but it's also about the leadership and that has to do with who we are. And so Tony shares his story of bringing that out more and kind of the journey as he and I work together of like how to bring your true self out in these moments because that's what leadership is really about. And what a heyday it is right now. As leaders and thought leaders, because whether you are an entrepreneur or you're in business or you are a stay-at-home mom, you know, it doesn't really matter. Thought leadership is about ideas first, idea forward, mission forward, people. And that's what the world is asking for right now. And so Tony and I had just had a really good time digging into this and talking about not just how timely it is, needed it is and what we can do to bring more of this out into the world and through his journey as he shared it. So we had a great conversation. It was a long conversation. I'm going to tell you guys, this is one of my longest episodes, but I just couldn't bear to cut anything. I really couldn't. And you'll hear at the end, we kind of might, we might call this the weepy episode. It might be known as the weepy episode because it just, you know, it was a moving conversation. We shared some moving moving, this moved me moments, which is really the whole point. So if you can hang in for that at the end, hopefully it will move you too. So I'm so excited to share this with you in hopes that we can all become better thought leaders. So here he is, Tony Lloyd. Right?

Yes, I have on my desktop. I just pulled it up so I could look at it. And this was the day after I left my corporate job. I did one of these things, you know, like, it's like a picture with some words on it. And I posted on social media and it says, today's to-do list: number 1, jump off cliff. Number 2, grow wings. Number 3, overcome fear of flying. Oh, and, and so that's, that's good. Yeah, that was right where I was the, the day I left my corporate job. I'm like, I have no idea. I have no idea what's happening right now, but I know that isn't what I can do right now. And like you said, you know, tick-tock, life doesn't go on forever. And so I have to go do something. And so this was the something I had to go do.

Yeah, I, I, Tony, I feel like it's the perfect entree and you jumped off a cliff, you grew some wings, you overcame your fear of flying.

Yeah, yeah.

So, so let's start there. Okay, Tony Lloyd, here you are, the host of the Social Entrepreneur Podcast, which I have been very honored to be on. And we are friends, we met speaking at an Ignite event. You are out speaking, sharing with the world your message. And it has been a real joy to connect and get to know you.

Thank you.

But will you give us a sense of what that leap was and what you have created?

Yeah, so great question. And I always tell the story differently. So it just depends on how I'm framing it in my mind. At the time. But, you know, I was, I was a corporate dude. I, you know, I had an independent consulting job for a long time, and then I was recruited by John Deere. And I came into Deere and Company, great, amazing bunch of human beings, just salt-of-the-earth kind of, you know, people, good company, all that. Enjoyed a good run there. I was recruited out of there. S.E. Johnson spun up a company called Diversea, and I went over there and worked with with them. We sold the company, and then I came up to the Twin Cities, tada! And I worked with companies like Medtronic and Buffalo Wild Wings. And so all the way along the line, I'm going from manager, director, you know, EVP, vice president, that kind of stuff. So, so I did that, and it was cool. And, and a big part of that was leadership development. So I loved being in the room with leaderships, while they, with leaders, as they go through these sort of breakthrough experiences, right. And so that was all, you know, great, fun, cool. But eventually, I sort of got promoted above that activity. And I really missed it. And, and so, at some point, I just, you know, I, I wasn't in the right role. And honestly, the company knew I wasn't in the right role. And so it was just, you know, it was just time to go do something else. And, and so I, you know, I call my wife on the way home and said, the stuff is in the boxes, it's in the car, I'm coming home. And she's like, okay, come home. Let's, let's figure this out. So, so I, you know, I did a few things. I hung out my shingle as a, as a consultant, as one would do. And nobody cared. Like 10,000 consultants out there. Yeah. And Eventually, I came across this whole concept about social entrepreneurship. And so I, I ended up mentoring some social entrepreneurs. And then eventually, that became a podcast called Social Entrepreneur. And then about a year ago, I had an opportunity to also do a radio program. So in order to do that, I ran a crowdfunding campaign. And in order to do that, I wrote a book. And so the weird thing was the crowdfunding campaign was successful. All that stuff worked. But then after the crowdfunding campaign, we released, we released the book on Amazon and it became a bestseller. So, so then, you know, all these speaking opportunities came up. So not all these, I don't want to make it sound like, you know, people are running at me throwing speaking opportunities, but it led to some things. And when I speak, then I have opportunities from people who are hearing me to say, hey, I'd like you to come speak at my place. And so, you know, it's like this sort of daisy chain of events. And, you know, you helped me work on this TEDx thing I did recently. And one of the things that came up as we were talking about how you described this, I said, I'm like the Forrest Gump of business. You know, something cool happened and then something else cool happened and then something else cool happened. It's like, Dude, here I am.

I love that. Forrest Gump of business. Yeah. But Tony, why social entrepreneurship? Like, because you were a business corporate guy. So what was that for you? What was the draw to that aspect?

Yeah. So, you know, I, I think I've always been sort of socially conscious, right? And, and always thought about our environmental impact or our social impact. And then, you know, I have in the past participated in charity activities or charitable giving. But it sort of seemed to me like this was a broken cycle that, you know, that there are people who are hungry. And so I reach in my pocket from my job, right? I had to have a job and I had to be working and I earned money to reach in my pocket then and to give that to people so that they could be fed. And, you know, I'm happy to do that. I'll continue to do that. But there has to be a better way. Yeah, right. And so the whole concept of teach a person to fish, right? And, and how do you, how do you create value while creating a social impact at the same time? And it was around December of 2010, I read an article in the New York Times, and it was about a company called Barefoot Power. And they tell the story about, you know, there's this woman and she's in this rural Kenyan village, and the power grid is never going to get They're never going to build the lines out there fast enough for her to get power. So in the meantime, she's trying to use technology and she has a mobile phone, uh, but she has to get on the back of a motorcycle and go a day's ride away, leave the phone, come back on a motorcycle, go back another day, pick up that, that cell phone that's now been charged and bring it back to her village so that she can use it. But along comes somebody from Barefoot Power, and they, they not only are able to give her power for her cell phone with a little solar panel, but she also gets light. Her children study later at night. She pays for it with 3 months worth of kerosene that she would have paid for. No longer do they have bad fumes from the kerosene inside of the hut. There was a burn hazard with the kerosene. So it was like when, when, when, when, when, when, all these social and environmental impacts with a business model. I was just like, my head exploded. I am just thinking that this is something. I didn't know at the time it was called social entrepreneurship. Yeah, but, but that's what it was. And so I had this bug in my head for a long time. And when I found out University of Minnesota, they have a program called ACARA, and they— it's sort of like an incubator and accelerator for college students with social businesses. And so I got involved with them and I did a little bit of mentoring and, you know, Fred Rose and the team over there at ACARA, they're just amazing. And so they kind of gave me a path in and that's how I started down that path.

I love it. Oh my gosh. Because I feel like the idea of social entrepreneurship really has opened up that it is no longer just a narrow lane. It's not just nonprofits that are essentially now for-profits, right? It's any business. If they are smart, they are reading the, the airwaves and they're like, people want impact-driven, mission-driven companies. So it's, it's a— it's really exciting to me that the millennials Thank you to the millennials. I know they get a lot of crap for, for being millennials, but they are the ones who have pushed the demand for this, that we cannot just be greedy, bottom-line business people. We can and need to also do good. So I feel really excited about, about this. And it's interesting. So from a speaking aspect, of course, like my passion and my focus is on idea-driven, mission-driven talks. And I have to tell you, I have in the last 6 months even had all these corporate clients come to me and they want idea-driven, mission-driven talks. They are not out there, uh, talking about their business per se, although they are, but they are talking about their mission, their values, what they stand for there, because it's all mixed up together. So I, I personally feel really grateful for that kind of movement and excited about what that means for us as me, like my job, but also just for the world. And I think TEDx Talks have had a huge impact on that.

Agreed.

Don't you think?

Yeah. And you know, here's, here's the thing. Nielsen did a study a couple of years ago where they said, you know, if you think about— well, let me back up. If you think about a business, what do they want? Right. So they want customers and they want customers who are willing to pay a premium for their product. They want talent to help them to grow their company and they want investment. And so between those three things, the Nielsen companies did the survey and they said 67% of all consumers say I would pay a little extra for a product or service that has a social or environmental impact. Um, 66% of people said, um, I want to work for a company that has a social or, uh, environmental impact. And then, uh, 60% of investors said I not only want a capital return, but I want a social return on my investment. And so you have— you have—

for the world. Yay for the world!

So you have customers, you have talent, and you have investors who are all putting pressures on these companies. Now, I said all that— that survey is more than 2 years old, and new surveys are coming out, and the percentages are only growing. They're now going into the 80s, in 80% range, saying I want to buy from a company that has a social mission. I want to work for a company that has a social mission. And I want to invest in a company that has a social mission. Now, these CEOs, they read the same surveys that I do. And they know that this is the trend of the future. And, and here's what's interesting. We have for-profit companies that are saying, you know what, I get it. We need to focus on purpose and mission and something bigger than ourselves. We have to focus on society and the environment.

Environment.

At the same time, nonprofits are saying, you know what, giving in a traditional sense is shrinking. We used to be able to do government services and we could count on the government to pay us for some of these services. And now that's shrinking. So we're already socially and environmentally conscious. What we need to do is grow revenue. We need a way to earn revenue. And so somewhere— and I know podcasters can't see my hands, but like there are these two circles that are sort of pushing towards one another, where businesses are saying, I must do more social good, and nonprofits are saying, I must generate revenue. And so profit and purpose are sort of merging together into one unit. And that is a trend that is not going to abate for a very long time.

I know, and I'm happy about that. I really am, because I think you and I have talked about Dan Pallotta. And I've had him on the show and his TEDx talk, I'll link to it in the show notes, his TEDx talk blew my mind. It was that moment that you're talking about with barefoot energy where I was— because I grew up in the nonprofit sector and I felt like if we were making money, we weren't doing good for the world. And it's such a messed up mindset. And Dan Pallotta's talk blew that wide open for me, right? And it's part of the reason I'm doing what I'm doing, because I realized I can do good and I can make a living. Like, oh my gosh, like, why is that so astounding? But it really was. And I think there's a lot of people in the world who seperate these ideas and profit and purpose. Not only can they be connected, I think they need to be.

Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, we can do well and do good at the same time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that I really wanted to establish that basis because I do think it is really integral to the kinds of talks that people want to hear and the kinds of talks we should be developing as entrepreneurs and changemakers and leaders, if it is an idea forward or mission forward, then it's self-serving. And an audience doesn't have any room for that. Don't you think? I mean, what do you see as that— as we're talking about social entrepreneurship, what does that have to do with speaking?

Right.

Yeah.

Well, it's a great question. I think for me, so I'll just take this personally. For me, it's like, what is your message for the world? Right? Why would anyone care to hear me say anything? And honestly, this is, you know, I was raised in the South and I have this very sort of, you know, don't think too much of yourself kind of thing. You know, you must be humble and all this. At the same time, I have to say to myself, Tony, this is a message that you're almost sick of hearing because you've said it so much. But there are people who are hearing these things for the first time. And, and, you know, if you think about kind of the better angels of our nature, if you think about the higher calling, the higher purpose, something that is uplifting, there are plenty of things to be outraged about. There are plenty of things for us to scream and shout about. But these messages about doing well and doing good at the same time, they're filled with hope. They're filled with optimism. They are solution-oriented. And, and so I think that's why it's important to focus on these things. I mean, you know, any old mule can kick down the barn, right? And so it's, it's easy for all of us to go, oh my God, the world is awful. It's tragic. It's terrible. But at the same time, there are people who are taking on some of the biggest, most intractable issues in the world. They're doing it with a business model that sustains them over time. And they're focused on solutions. They're not just focused on focused on problems. And here's the other piece of that. A lot of these solutions are coming from underserved voices. And so they're coming up out of communities, you know, and you could probably name right now, Sally, from North Minneapolis, which has had a long tradition of struggle. And yet some of the greatest, most brightest burning solutions in the world are coming out of that community and they're stepping forward with their solutions. And so it's like, you know, who could not talk about that?

Right, right. Totally. And of course, it's not just good for the world, right? But, but it's interesting for the audience. And we're giving them a reason to hope and to care and something to believe in. And like you said, they're solution-oriented, and that is really exciting for people. And of course, our stories are embedded in this. These are about life experiences and pulling out some of the most, as you said, underrepresented stories in the world and giving them light, which kind of reminds me of your TEDx talk. Heyo! Heyo! See how you sort of did that?

You just brought it right back around.

Yeah, so actually I wanna, I wanna talk about your TEDx experience a little bit because we had the chance to work together for one of your TEDx talks.

Yes, yes, right.

So you've done two.

Yes.

And I want to talk about what that experience was like for you because a lot of people listening, if they haven't done a TEDx talk, I guarantee you it's on their list. Yes, because because it is, you know, just as we've talked about, it's a way to bring your message to the world in an idea-forward, mission-forward way, um, and that has the potential, right, to help you connect with people and have a greater impact. So let's start with this, um, how would you describe the difference in experiences between your your first TEDx talk and your second TEDx talk? Because not many people have the chance to do it twice.

Yeah, and I did it twice within just a little more than a month.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, well, with the first one, you know, I went through the, the thing that one would imagine. I, you know, I found out about this TEDx talk, I applied, we did a screening, you know, there was a long time to develop develop the talk. They provided me with 2 students that worked with me on the message. We shaped the message over a period of time because I started off in a direction. And they're going, that's really cool if you're talking to a business audience, but we're students. And let me just give you our perspective. And so that was really helpful. And we spent a ton of time on this, shaped the message. It was fairly well locked in a week or 2, probably 2 weeks at least ahead, where I just said, OK, that's it. I have to stop tweaking. Now I'm terrible about this and we could talk about that too. But, but, you know, okay. So then I had enough time to really get it in my body and really sort of work through it. And just, it was just, you know, I felt like when I stepped up on the stage, I knew exactly where I was going. I knew, you know, I mean, if the PowerPoint would have died, I didn't need the slides. You know, I'm, I'm there. I'm in the message. In fact, even before, two days before I sat down with a blank piece of paper, and I handwrote out verbatim exactly what I was going to say. Yeah, based on what was in my body, because it helped me to get that back down on paper.

Yeah, now that's a powerful little trick that you just talked about there. So I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I just want to underline that, because if you can, after you, you, you've created your content and it's in you, and then you re-physicalize it in some way, like bring it out of your body, and that specific way, for me it locks it in. So there are a lot of times where right before a talk where I'm like, I need to just cement this, I need to make sure it's confirmed, I will go back and write out by hand— not typing it, by hand— I will write, you know, like chunk it out and underline the big points, and it just like re-cements it in your head.

It's a really cool little trick, so thanks for mentioning Yeah, so, so that, that was done. Now, you know, I mean, at the end I was like, why? You know, it was, it was good, but it wasn't great. You know, I'd love to be able to do another one of these. And so I, you know, looked around and I found one that was in Des Moines, Iowa, which is not far south of us. It's a reasonable drive. And it was at Drake University. The first one was at Duke University. And I, you know, it was It was good. It wasn't my best ever, but it was good. Yeah. And so there's this opportunity at Drake University, and so I just reached out to them on their Facebook page because it was about 3, 4 weeks out, you know, at the most. And I, I just reached out to my Facebook page. I said, I assume you have all your speakers, but I just wanted you to know I'm in the area if you needed me to come down. And so they, they wrote back to me right away and they said we had a speaker who dropped out. And we're looking around and we, we know who you are. And so, you know, would you like to come?

That's amazing. That was a gift from the universe right there.

My— I am the Forrest Gump of business. I just fall forward into blessings. I don't know what that's about. Yeah. So, but here's the bad news. I had no idea what I was going to talk about. You know, when they said, oh great, what will you talk about? I basically took I took the description of this talk I had just given, and I wrote it in and just said, here's approximately what I would be doing. But I didn't want to do the exact same thing. And there's no reason to do that. And so they were like, yes, we're in. Then I started mapping it out. And I had this one point I really wanted to make. And I was driving home, driving home. And then I had these three different stories I was weaving in. Reached out to you because, you know, I knew you, I knew that you were, you know, you were good at this. And I was like, okay, you know, big red flag. I, I am in trouble here. I'm in over my head. I don't have enough time to prepare. And you're like, okay, it's not the way I like to usually work with people. This is not an ideal situation, but a little bit of a scrunch timeline. But yeah, yeah. So let's, let's leap, right? We'll jump off the cliff, the, the wings will appear, and we'll overcome our fear of flying, right?

Totally.

So, so that's what we did. And the first thing that working with you came to light for me was I had one point and three stories with the same point. I was making one point three times. There's just no reason to do that. And then once we sort of backed up and looked at what are the three main things that we're really trying to drive home here— so, you know, a simple five-point outline: what's your intro, What, what are the 3 things you're trying to say? And then how do you land this thing? How do you really call them to action, call them forth from this? So, so that's what we did. I, and then in working on it, I'm, you know, 2, 2 things that are bad habits for me. One is I tend to lean too heavily on my improv skills. I feel like I have improv skills. You know, if I'm in the middle of giving, you know, the most serious, just, you know, scripted speech in the world, and suddenly the fire alarm goes off and somebody gets scared and they drop a tray of dishes and somebody screams, they're so afraid of it. Somehow just I have this ability. It's not meant as a brag. It's just sort of like an innate thing. To grab all 3 of those pieces of energy together, to ball them up and to just present them back to the audience in a way that it pulls the attention from that back to where we're going and goes on.

Yeah.

And so, but I tend to lean on those improv skills too heavily. I, I, you know, was not taking the preparation seriously enough. The second thing is I tend to change things until the 11th hour. And I, you know, because a new thought, or I had this new piece of information, or I talked to somebody at the event and I got this new piece of insight. And so I just want to push it up to the edge of the cliff. And I'd say, like, a third problem I have: 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5-pound sack. I, I want to give them everything, right? So those 3 things, sort of leaning too heavily on my improv skills, changing things into the 11th hour, and then packing too much in. And you, you kind of worked with me to help unpack all that, those bad habits, and to really get locked in sooner, to start getting it in my body sooner, to go with excellence and not perfection, right? And to just all that. Now, if there is one, one other thing I do have to my favor though, I would say it's just this deep, burning, abiding caring about the audience.

Yeah.

And, and so our, our, our light is our shadow side, right? So because I have this deep, abiding, burning caring for the audience and about their experience, I want it to be better. I want to give them more. I want to, I want to give them this sort of improvisational experience, etc. So, so So that's it. It's like our strengths become our weakness when our strength gets out of control.

Yeah, it's so true. But I will say that first conversation we had, Tony, was amazing to me because you walked in with this openness that sometimes takes a while to get to it. And so I think The upside of a crammed timeline was you were just like, here we go, right? You, you know, it's that leaping thing again. I think when you jump off the cliff, you're like, help me, what did I— you know? So you were so moldable, it was amazing. And I felt like in that first 2 hours, I walked away, I was like, holy Holy crap, that was awesome, Tony. Just, you took everything that I said and you had, you had like 12 ahas in those 2 hours. I mean, it was one of the most fun coaching sessions I've had in so long because you were all in. And that sort of vulnerability and courage and openness and determination to, to go for it. What you can't teach that, and you can't force it. And so I'm grateful for you because I could come in and make lots of suggestions and say, what about this? Or I'm thinking about that, or here's my response to that. If you're not open to it, doesn't really matter, you know. And you were.

Yeah, you know, the thing that surprised me about working with you as a coach, the thing that surprised me is, um, it's not about the speech The speech, those are words and slides and what, that's the stuff, right? But, but it is about, well, first it's about the, the audience, right? What is the thing that, that is trying to come through to them? So that's the thing. And I, and I think I walked in with a knowing about that. But the thing that surprised me is that you not only were about, you know, what's the mechanics of the speech, speech, but you were both a psychologist and a spiritual guide. Whoa. Because, because, you know, one of the things that I ended up doing in this second speech was I ended up talking about myself.

Yeah.

And I always enter the room thinking, I, you know, I am the least interesting person in this room, not because of false humility, but because I'm here to serve, right? This is a moment and there is a spirit and a message that is trying to come through. And I just need to stay out of the way. And I'm a much better facilitator than a presenter. And, and so, you know, then you had to help me to overcome the— that, because that is a strength, right? But it became a weakness because I wasn't willing to talk about myself. I wasn't willing to tell my story. And I wasn't willing to put myself out as an example to other people because I know all my baggage, right? I know every bad story that could ever be told about you. I could tell it twice. And so, so you helped me to overcome that. So I think that's an important thing for anyone. And I would encourage anybody who's doing any kind of talk. I mean, there is an opportunity here to do something bigger. Than yourself. And I would encourage anyone to find a coach, find somebody like you who would facilitate that moment.

Yeah. And I'm so glad you brought that up. And thank you. That was very kind. I'm shocked again and again at how much psychological coaching I do. Like, I am not a therapist. I'm not a trainer. And it's not therapy. But we're talking about the stuff that's getting in the way of connection. Yeah. And that is the goal in these moments, that we want the audience to feel like they know us, that they know you. And so you have to bring some of yourself to that moment. And there are those talks that become about the person, and that's not what we're going for. Show up and bring part of yourself there, but it's not about you. It is in service to an idea, in service to this audience. So it's, it's a balance. But many, many people hide behind other people's stories and other people's insights. I've done that for years, and I still do that to some extent. So, you know, we we, we teach what we have to work on. So these are all my own— these are all my own challenges, uh, so that's part of the reason why I get it and why I think I can help pull people out of it. Because it just is so powerful when you realize that you do have something to offer, and because you offer it so humbly and with so much gratitude for what got you there and the way in which you believe it can be insightful and helpful to other people. That's what makes it powerful and moving, that you're not like, check out what I did, I'm awesome, I know so much. Yeah, you're welcome. You know, that's not exactly the spirit.

Yeah, yeah. Aren't you lucky to spend so much time with me? Yeah, yeah.

You are Welcome.

I never want to be that person.

Well, you know, when sometimes people end a talk, the way they say thank you, they're really saying you're welcome. It's like, um, I think you missed it. I think, I think you're a little off there. No, thank you. Thank you for listening.

Thank you.

Oh my gosh, that's funny. I— so you, you've articulated a few takeaways from your TEDx experience that you kind of— your lessons learned— that you leaned in a little too much on your experience, like your, um, how would you say that? Your, your—

you said your improv experience to be improvisational, right?

You leaned a little too heavily into that and depended on those those skills. Yeah. Uh, instead of, uh, really planning and being intentional. Okay. Uh, you learned that you tend to give them a little too much, right? It's a little heavy-handed and jamming too much in there, right?

Right.

And then you learned that you are a last-minute tweaker, last-minute changer.

Yeah, yeah. And by the way, tweaking is not the same as twerking, by the way. So if you're not a twerker, you're a tweaker.

That's, it's a really important distinction. And then I would add a fourth lesson, and that was that you, as we just talked about, that we, we have to bring ourselves ourselves to the moment so that we can create that connection. Is there any other little lessons?

I think that last one is the hardest one for me, you know, to, to, to be the person at the center of the stage that people are looking at. You know, I, I'll tell you this quick story. The first time I got up and did a formal presentation at work work, I was a trainer, and so I had developed a bunch of material. And I had done public speaking outside of work, and I'd done religious things and all this kind of stuff, but I'd never really stood up in front of my peers and done a presentation. And so, I was hired as a trainer. I developed a ton of training material for this group, and then I was asked to present.. And I didn't know I was going to be presenting it. I thought my job was to prepare the material and that there were these professional trainers that were going to do it. And they just said, Tony, will you do this? And so I got up in front of the room. And first of all, my boss is in the back of the room because he's going to fill out an evaluation on my presentation skills. Sure. Yeah. First time out.

Yay.

Thanks. And as I looked around the room, I looked around and I thought, that person could teach this lesson in their sleep. That person used to be— I was working in a commercial nuclear power plant. And I go, that person used to be the chief aboard a Navy vessel that was a nuclear power vessel. That person is an engineer. That person knows, you know, and I looked around the room and I realized that almost everyone in the room was an expert at this material that I was about to present.

Yikes.

And I, but, but it was a requirement, you know, it was a regular regulated environment. So we all had to go through the training material and take the assessment and go on. So So I froze. I started in the lesson plan. I had the lesson plan on the podium in front of me, and I just started reading. And then I just started flipping pages. And in about 5 minutes, I'm 50 pages deep into this lesson plan. And people— I look up finally, and people are just sort of looking at one another, and they're looking around and sort of shrugging, like, what is this? And I said, we're going to take a break. And so I walk outside and my boss goes out with me and he's like, it's okay, happens to people. It's all right. I go back in the room and the same thing happens. Now I'll save a little time here to say I did it 3 times.

Oh no, no.

And on the 3rd time, I went outside to my boss and I said, I quit. I quit. I cannot do this. And he said, well, first, yes, you can. You know, he started asking me questions about the material. I knew the answers to the question of the material. And he said, you know this stuff. You know the stuff. It's in your bones. And he said, would it help if I didn't go back in the room? I was like, yes, that might help. And so he goes, you know this. Go, go, go. Go. So when I went back into the room now for the fourth time, and people are starting to look at me like, you know, this, this is weird, I, instead of saying something, I asked a question. And when I did, they started talking, and then I facilitated the discussion so that they were the ones doing the talking. It came from them instead of from me. But I just took each one of the objectives for the lesson, and I walk through it, and I just ask them questions about it. And I, you know, I was sort of adjusted a little bit where I needed to, to land someplace. But it was the moment where I stopped being a presenter and I started being a facilitator. And I figured out that I kind of have a gift for that, to facilitate. And, and so when I think about my role in the room. Even if I'm the person doing the talking, it feels like my role is to facilitate something that's happening. There's something bigger than me. There are people in the room that have the need. It's not about me. And so I think that is the light and shadow of me as a presenter. I want to hide behind other people's stories. I want I want to talk about quotes and other things that come from other places so I can give attribution and all that, because it's about them. And so the hardest thing for me, the thing that you had to work with me on the most, was to show up as myself with my story and to just be fully present with that in the moment. And that, that was probably the hardest hurdle for me to overcome.

Right. But you did it. I mean, I was not there when you gave your final performance, but I feel like, gosh, Tony, in like a week and a half, I was really excited for the kind of transformation that I saw and the shift, um, the approach that you made. And so it was really cool to be a part of it. So thanks for asking me to be a part of it. And, uh, you know, I will say, um, you know, facilitating insight and bringing in the gems from— that exist in this world from other people's stories, that's beautiful and important. And like I said, it cannot all be about us, but we to find our connection to those things. What is the thing within us that makes meaning? Like, what— how is our story and our experience and our insight, how do those things connect? Because that's you as speaker. You are creating the new insight. You're creating the meaning. You are not just messenger. You are a filter, you are a creator, you're meaning maker, and that's the magic of it. Because, and then the audience comes in and co-creates, so it's, I don't know, it's really cool. I love it. It's awesome. So thanks for being such a willing participant.

Thank you.

And thoughtful and engaged. And we did do a practice session in a hallway once. It was great. We showed up—

it should become part of your regular thing. Oh my gosh, we showed up at an office and then we ended up in the hallway just doing the whole thing.

Yeah, I forgot to bring the keys to the office. That was, that was not a high moment in my coaching career, but Tony was like, that's cool, let's just do it in the hallway.

It's memorable though, right?

Memorable. Never forget it. I did take a picture. In fact, I'll put a picture, I'll put the picture in the show notes so people can see. It was so great.

There you go.

Well, Tony, I, you know, it's time for This Moved Me moment, and I'm gonna hand it over to you and let you do a This Moved Me moment because they are my favorite things ever.

So, um, in, um, recently it's been coming back up that, you know, it's like the 50th anniversary, uh, Martin Luther King was killed, and then Robert Kennedy was killed. And so those anniversary dates were coming by. And in that, somewhere between last April and now, I went back and looked at the video of Robert F. Kennedy on April 8th, 1968, when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. And he— Robert F. Kennedy was in Indianapolis at the moment. And he stepped up on the back of a flatbed truck, and they had a microphone for him. He was there for a campaign rally. He's running for president. And you can hear him in the background ask somebody, do they know about Dr. King? And the answer is no. And he steps up to the microphone to deliver the news. Everyone is there for campaign rally, and they have signs held up, and they're cheering. And he steps up to the microphone. The first thing he says is, let's lower the signs. Let's lower the signs. And then he says, I have tragic news. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated today in Memphis, Tennessee. Still chokes me up to think about this. And now here is Robert F. Kennedy. His brother John was assassinated. This second major assassination. And I'm sure there are many others in that timeline. But second, that was sort of like a major milestone. Now here's another assassination. And Robert F. Kennedy himself, he's 63 days away from himself. He is going to be assassinated. And in this moment, he gives this 4-minute speech. And you just have to go find that. And watch it. And he lays out to this crowd the choices in front of them. And he says, we could become violent. We could now, in the face of this tragedy, just the worst part of ourselves could come out. We could be violent. We could burn. We could loot. We could pillage. Or we could follow Dr. King's example of love and hope. And the thing about this speech that I think sort of shocked me the most— so that in and of itself, he said that is, you know, violence and outrage is a choice that we could make. And he laid it out like a great debater and just said, this is a choice. But is it really the choice we want to make? And so he gave them another way and talked about love and peace. But what shocked me was he said, and it reminds me of a quote by my favorite poet, Aeschylus. And I'm going, OK, he's in Indianapolis. He's talking to this crowd. And he's quoting Aeschylus, this Greek poet from 400 years BC.

Yeah.

Only Robert F. Kennedy is going to pull out an Aeschylus quote in the middle of all this.

And it'll work.

I mean— And it worked.

And it worked.

And he said, "And even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom." Ooh. And he just dropped that on them and then just appealed to their better angels. And people are cheering by the end and they're clapping. In 4 minutes, he takes the— he delivers the worst news that's ever been delivered. He turns it into a message of hope, and then he appeals to our better angels and sends us off in this direction. Now, that night, April 8th, 1968, there was rioting all over the country, but not in Indianapolis, Indiana, where Robert F. Kennedy delivered that speech. And talk about a moment that moved me. I mean, I went back and rewatched that speech. And it's, you know, it's available all over the internet. It's just such a powerful moment. So that was, that was my moment that moved me.

I love that. Thank you for sharing that. I can't wait to go back. I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen that. So I will put the video in the show notes so people can go watch it. And, uh, thank you for bringing that up. I'm gonna really quickly share mine. Uh, this is a little note that my kids' preschool teacher posted on Facebook as she retires. And she was— this is the last week of school for my kids when we're recording this, and teachers everywhere are wrapping up school and heading out in summer.

And I got—

as a parent, I'm just like hanging in there until summer comes and then like next week I'll be like, when school start again? But, but for right now, I'm just thinking about teachers and this teacher in particular created magic for my kids and I know her leaving was a really difficult thing, but it, it was time and I love her spirit in this. So I just want to share this with you. She says, my last Last day at Mack Plymouth. I have to be honest, the last week in Room Zoo, which is what she called it, was incredibly difficult for me. Keeping such big emotions in check was so hard. Leaving this place and these people I love, I don't think I can even put it into words. But then I got into my car and turned on the Room Zoo CD. I fully expected to be overwhelmed by sadness sadness, but it didn't happen. Instead, I felt deeply satisfied. I was able to do something I loved for almost 30 years. Oh my gosh, she was so awesome. Uh, I was able to do it my way. I was able to do it with people I love, and there was never a day that I didn't want to be there. I hope that my teachings of kindness, joy, and tolerance for differences will stay with the children I've and that these children will in turn spread these teachings to others. I would like that. So now I turn it over to Pemley and her staff. They will be amazing. Sending my love to all of you. XO. I know, I just love that she felt deeply satisfied, and that is my hope for teachers, that at the end of this year, even if it's not the end of your career, but at the end of this year, you feel satisfied because you are doing the work of the world in your classrooms every day. So it's just an ode to teachers in general, but especially to Ms. Sue. I love you, Ms. Sue. There we go.

This shall be known from this day forward as the weepy episode.

Sally couldn't hold it together.

I'm choking up over here.

Okay, well, Tony, this has been awesome. I love you. I love this. I feel like we should just get together and do this and just record shows every once in a while. There you go.

Well, you have an open invitation from me. Let's just do it. Okay.

Hey guys, thanks for listening and hanging in there. I hope that you enjoyed that episode with Tony. These next few weeks, you guys, we are about to embark into the new adventures. Movers, you, it is coming. I've got a new website. We are T-minus 2 weeks from this, and I've been saying that for a while. There's been some unforeseen circumstances that, that pushed this out farther than than I think anybody expected, but that is where we are. But I'm so excited to share it with you. And there's going to be some courses that you can check out and more on the way. Woo! Tony pointed out to me once that I tend to sing when I get nervous. I turn what I'm saying into a sing-songy thing when I get nervous. So every time I feel like I'm talking about these courses, that's, that's what I'm doing, going, oh my gosh, here we go. So yeah, I am nervous. I'm nervous, but so excited because what I'm doing here and what this shift means is this moved me is going from becoming what, you know, you, where you can learn about me and my work to a resource, a better bolder, braver resource for you as speakers, as thought leaders, as entrepreneurs, as people who want to create talks that move the world, as movers. Okay, so that is my goal, that this website will become a place where you can go to to find the support, the resources, the inspiration, the training that you need to do what you're doing even better so that we can bring those ideas out and shape and change and move the world. So it is of course a work in progress, but I'm so thrilled to be sharing with it with you, and there is more of that to come. So be on the lookout, go check out my website as it is now, and if you sign up to get on the Mover course launch list. So you want to know when it's coming, just put your name and email in there and I will be in touch with you as it launches. So excited! See, I'm singing. Alright guys, thanks so much for listening and hanging with me here at This Moved Me, and I'm super excited for all that's to come. Talk soon. Have a great week. This moved me. What is moving you?