19 Sept 2018 · 11 min
Sally Koering Zimney argues that obsessing over credibility stops speakers from sharing real failures and vulnerabilities. A CEO client avoids discussing his mistakes, creating distance from his audience. She says credibility is just showing up; what actually connects people is the messy, human truth.
Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. Episode 191, on the problem with credibility in sharing your story. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking. Because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful, that's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey movers, welcome back to another episode of This Moved Me. This week We are on to the fourth part in the series on the origin story. So today we're gonna talk about credibility, and I'm gonna get right into it because here's the deal. It's gonna be short and sweet. Credibility is getting in the way of you sharing your story, right? What will they think of me if I share that one experience doesn't really put me in the best light? What if I talk about how I failed? What if I share my biggest mistake? Will they still respect and admire me? Ooh, man, credibility. I see it again and again and again with my speakers. It is crippling us from standing up and doing something that is a little bit brave, that is authentic, right? That is different from the way it has been done. And even though we are told again and again, Queen Brené, you are preaching this, and if you don't know who I'm talking about, Brené Brown, look her up right now, like stat, go look her up and watch her talks because she is the North Star on this stuff. And she reminds us, and I find myself reminding my speakers again and again, People appreciate and admire the bravery of vulnerability, and we admire it in other people, but when it comes to our own moment, we tend to sit back from that. And especially in a work context, too many of us, we are protecting ourselves and protecting our credibility, and we are stopping short from doing something that really matters. And I get it, sometimes there is a reputation to uphold. But if our connection is to really connect with an audience, and I believe that that is the point, then we have to get our focus on credibility out of the way because it's not helping us, right? In most cases, it's really not helping us get to someplace where we're moving our audience. It's keeping us from really showing up, from being real, from sharing our true stories, from finding is finding the humanity in our ideas and our work and making that real. We have to help our audience understand the journey that we've been on and that it's not just about where you are. So I remember one of my clients, this really wise, accomplished CEO, was writing this talk for parents and he, he is awesome. He's a great speaker. He's a really good man. He's hilarious and goofy, uh, along with being wise. And I would use that word. He's incredibly wise. And more often than not, when he was showing up publicly, it was all wisdom and less that other side, that other side where you fall on your face sometimes. He wasn't showing that part, and he was so hesitant in sharing what he might term failures, right? And he would say, "I don't want to look stupid, right? People like trust me. I don't want to lose their trust." And I get that. You don't want to look less capable or unaccomplished in some way. But the result was that he was like operating way up here in this untouchable space where it's like, wow, way to be awesome, but the audience, the rest of us, are down here struggling with the reality of parenthood and felt like, "Oh man, we are too different. You don't know how hard it is for me, so there's nothing for me to get from you." Or worse, the audience ends up feeling extra, extra crappy because they're nowhere near that flawless approach. So I told them, as an audience, Listen, I want to know at a basic level— here's where credibility plays a part— I want to know at a basic level that you generally know your stuff and you are a, you know, credible human in that sense. Like, check, you have done what you need to do in order to be standing up here and sharing something with me. But that bar is lower than what we think. It really is. Just by you being up on that stage, you get credibility. It's not totally fair how that works, but it's true. By being up in front, you automatically get some credibility. And take that, okay? And then you get my trust, okay? You've got to do some basic things to get my trust, right? You have basic level of knowledge, you show up on time, right? You look like you have your stuff generally together, right? Not looking for perfection, but just like general credibility and trust, okay? But that bar is a little bit lower than we think. And once you've met that bar, well, now I want to connect with you. I want to believe that maybe After I watch you, I can change something. I can get through to a different side, which means that you as a speaker, you have to share the journey that you've been on and maybe the journey that you're still on, which means throwing a little bit of that credibility concern out the window. Trust that your humanness is a really powerful connector. Origin stories are grounded in our humanness. The good ones, right, are real, messy, beautiful stories that we have learned something from, that we have survived, that took us in a different direction. So those are the stories that we want to hear. And if credibility, if that concern is getting in your way, maybe what you need to do is trust that your humanness is a really powerful connector, to lower that threshold a little bit because we want to connect with you. That is way more important. All right, now if you want to talk more about this stuff, to dig in a little bit deeper on this stuff, I want you to go to bit.ly/moversu U-originstory, bit.ly/moversu-originstory, and sign up for the waitlist because here's the deal, doors are gonna open October 9th. I put a date on it. I'm kind of freaked out. I'm really excited, but I want to see you in there. I'm gonna open up the doors a few days in advance. I don't know, I don't quite have all those details figured out yet, but I will. But I will. And I want you to be the first to know when the doors are open because I'm going to try and keep the class small. So if you want to be in the know on that, you've got to go sign up. So see you over there. bit.ly/moversu-originstory. I always like to end with a little bit of singsong. Cool. Really excited. So what's happening right now today on this Wednesday, I am doing a workshop today at the Story Conference. So if you're listening to this right now, you might be seeing me at the Story Conference. If you're there, I'd love to connect. I'm super jazzed to be spending the day with a small group of people who really want to dig in on how to move their audience. So I'm really jazzed about it. And then in a few days, I head off to San Diego for the presentation Summit, and that is where I will be next Wednesday when you next hear from me, and we're going to talk about how we know when we're ready to tell our origin story. Hmm, intriguing question. It's a little more complicated than you'd think. All right, friends, movers, see you next week. Until then, what is moving you? Right? A lot's moving me. Right now. No doubt, I'm at the Story Conference. I'm being moved like crazy. What is moving you? I'd love to hear from you. Hey everybody and welcome to This Moved Me, an episode about— what? An episode? That's wrong.
