193: Six Rookie Storytelling Mistakes (and what to do instead)

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. Episode 193, 6 Rookie Storytelling Mistakes. You might be making these. We should listen up. Let's do this. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney, together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation conversation about the art of public speaking, because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful, that's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, just waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey Movers, it is Sally. Welcome Welcome back to another episode here on This Moved Me. It is episode 193. We're getting up there. What should I do for my 200th episode? I don't know. I really, I don't know. I gotta think about that. I should be planning that. I should probably have that planned, but I don't yet. So if you have an idea, throw it out there. Um, I did kind of, I was thinking maybe it would be fun to have Andy interview me. He did that on the 100th episode. Oh my gosh, it was 200 episodes. That's crazy. It's a lot of episodes, people. Oh my gosh. But you maybe have noticed— did I say 194? Because it's 193 today. Oh my gosh. Well, part of the reason I'm mixed up is because last week I was supposed to put an episode out, and you may have noticed that I never got one out there. Hmm, it happens. I am trying not to beat myself up too much about it. So I have been, I have been doing shows consistently since January. So it was the first week where I just could not make it happen, which is amazing because I somehow published something, like, while I was moving and doing a website and redoing my website and all kinds of stuff. Maybe you can hear my voice. I've been kind of sick, and man, traveling took a lot out of me. And I'm— it's, it's just life is really full. And at some point last week, I realized it's not going to happen, and I just had to let it go. Hmm. Maybe you've been there where you just thought, this, this is not This is not going to happen. So I let it go. But I'm excited about— actually, I was really close to publishing something. I'm really excited about that episode. It's gonna come out in a few weeks because right now what I'm focusing on is getting you all ready for my storytelling course. So you've heard me talk about it as an origin story course. You've heard me talk about it as a Maybe you've heard me talk about it as like a signature story course. It's about storytelling. So I've had to do a lot of work to get clear on what on earth this thing is, who it's for, what it's gonna be about. And so as I step into that space, I wanted to bring to you some really essential ideas that whether or not you join me for this course in a few weeks, Everybody needs to have this in their back pocket and have this as a part of their storytelling foundation. And as you guys know, a few weeks ago I got back from the amazing Story Conference in Nashville. And if you've been listening to the show, you know I'm a huge fan of what they do and what they create. It's produced so beautifully, and it was such a joy to meet so many people who were there. And, and that conference in particular just fuels me up, and I know that it fuels a lot of you up too. It's such an honor to be a part of it, but it got me back into my storytelling roots, which I love, and it helped me reframe some of the things that I'm going to be talking about, uh, over the next few months on my Speaking Stories course. So when I first started coaching professionally which literally was almost 20 years ago. Before I coached professionally, I was coaching speech teams and high school students and basically anybody who would let me, a lot of high school speech kids. But as I stepped out into the professional world, what really oriented my work as a professional coach was story. I stepped into an organization that was really story-focused because we were talking to kids, and story Story is really a powerful tool to be able to talk about an idea about something without having to spend all the time talking about the idea. You know, story is the thing that emotively connects people, that's create— creates empathy, that helps people build a bridge to an idea that they wouldn't otherwise care about. So it became really a core focus for me as a coach. And the 10 years that I worked there, I coached 20+ speakers there every year, all of whom, each of whom would give anywhere between 2 and 7 talks apiece. So that's a lot of talks, and I learned so much about how to make a story engaging, how to write a story so that it translates across a broad spectrum of audience and people, how to take what's kind of a fuzzy memory and make it sticky, to find what really matters in those stories, to up the ante, to edit well. I mean, on and on and on. And truly, by the time that I walked out of those doors and was coaching full-time, I've never really framed it this way, but I was a storytelling coach. How to write and tell a story so that it moves your audience, opens them up, gets them to take action. So as I have been thinking about my course and planning for it, I I am now calling this course Speaking Stories, and I can't help but think about some of the key rookie mistakes that people make when they are working on their stories. This is one of those questions that I get again and again. What's the biggest mistakes that speakers make? Like, what's the biggest advice that you can give people? Well, if we're talking about delivery or preparation or content development or mindset, I would have a different answer for each one of those, but today I want to answer that in the context of story, the 6 biggest rookie storytelling mistakes so that you don't make them too. So let's dive in. Okay. Number 1, one of the biggest mistakes I see speakers make is that they talk about the story rather than tell the story. And here's what I mean by that. Most people, when asked to tell a story, actually end up talking about something. They kind of summarize it or give more like an anecdote rather than bring us into a moment. And this seems like a no-duh kind of shift, but if you listen carefully, you're going to notice now how often people keep sort of a distance from the story and they are summarizing what happened rather than bringing us into the moment as if it's happening now. And real storytelling brings us into a moment. It's not a summary of what happened. It's not an anecdote. It isn't about something. It is something. It is about a specific moment in time. So watch yourself, make sure that that you are not talking about what happened, but you tell us what happened. All right, that's number 1. Number 2, the preamble. So many people, before they get into their story, say something like, I'd like to share a story with you about blah blah blah, or I want to start with a story. Let's start by telling you about a moment that happened with my mom, or whatever. We think we're kind of warming audience up or transitioning. And really, it's fine, you can do it, people do it all the time, but we can do better. That is rookie to me. We can be more engaging, interesting, it's more artistic even. So cut the preamble and just start with the story. The audience is going— it's going to pique their curiosity a whole lot more rather than being like, oh, now they're going to tell me a story. That's Rookie mistake number 2, the preamble. Just cut it. Start with the story. All right, number 3 rookie mistake is not making it specific enough. We as speakers, we need to see the story in our heads, and there is a danger of getting too specific in terms of like the arc of the narrative, but when you home into that specific moment that you've decided to focus on. That's when you want to get really specific and think about keeping it visual. When you can add some elements in it that spark the imagination of the audience, like what it smelled like, what you saw, what they were wearing, like the look on their face. It's like it— for us as an audience member, it takes a picture for us. It pauses in a moment of time and snaps a picture. And when you can do that, it creates this imaginative connection that your audience is much more likely to remember. So the generalities, kind of keeping us above what's happening, does not help us remember this story. It doesn't give us anything to hang on to and for our imagination to lock into. And so if you're making that mistake, you've got to get more specific. Okay, and if you want to know more about the neuroscience behind this, which is so fascinating, uh, go listen to episode 187 with Carmen Simon, who is a neuroscientist and brilliant and amazing. And she really talks about what's happening in the brain and why it is that we as speakers need to use specifics in order for our audience to remember what we're talking about. Okay. Number 4 is making it too specific. So yeah, there's a danger of not making it specific enough, and there is a danger of making it too specific. But when I say this, I'm not talking about that moment that you're bringing us into. I'm talking about the overall narrative arc. Too many characters, too many places. We end up losing the point and then you will lose your audience. So editing is your storytelling friend. Um, speaking of friends, my friend Rita Borzma, if you remember Rita, she's been on the show a few times. She is this incredibly talented speaker. She's an improviser. She's a video editor. She's a coach, like, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And she's amazing. And many years ago, I brought Rita in to do a workshop with some of my speakers about this idea of story truth. In other words, where is the truth in a story when we change it up in order to help us make a point? And there's a really interesting ethical line that we tiptoe around as speakers, and Rita really believes that, that we need to be able to move that line in order to do our point justice. Now, the line's gonna be a little different for everybody, and I think it's a super worthwhile, interesting conversation to have and to make sure that you feel settled with yourself on, on where that line is. But here's the deal: speakers are leaders and leaders are speakers. So what we say really matters. We are shaping the future. And so I'm gonna bring Rita in again to talk about this because honestly she was an expert, a guest on my show on my very first episode, episode 001, baby! Oh my gosh. And so I want you to go listen to that conversation. You'll probably get a kick out of like the old school Sally. I don't know, that might be kind of fun to listen to. But again, it's episode 001 with Rita Borzma on StoryTruth. But in it, we really talk about how if we do not edit well, we don't do our message and our idea and that story justice. And so we need to make friends with editing. And, um, make sure that we don't make it too specific in the wrong ways. Okay. So that is mistake number 4. We're on to number 5, mistake number 5, and that is not understanding the power of present/past tense. So when people hear a story, if it's a visual story, a specific and visual story, like we talked about earlier, the brain will imagine it for itself. So that's That's really important, powerful. But one of the best ways to make a story emotive is to make it feel present tense, make it feel like it's happening again in the moment, that the words of the speaker, uh, really kind of trigger our own brains. And it's like it is happening again. Like it, that is empathy, that mirror neuron ignites. And the emotions that we experience are almost like it's happening to us. Like, man, this is powerful. It's incredibly powerful stuff. And many, many speakers miss out on the simplest way to shift it into feeling more now, even if it's something that happened in the past. And rather than talking about it as if it happened in some distant Past. So we have to play with this past and present tenses and how they can bring a moment to life and make it feel very now. So here's just a simple little tip and a trick for you. When a character is speaking in a story, like bringing to life some dialogue, which is a really powerful way to do this, you simply shift that dialogue into present tense. And all of the sudden it's like it's happening. So I want you to try that. It will really level up the emotive power of your stories. So not only using dialogue, but using it in present tense. So check that out. Okay, that is mistake number 5, not understanding the power of present, past tense. Okay, mistake number 6, the biggest rookie mistake is not using your story to connect to a larger idea and audience. So this is a biggie. We as leaders, we don't just tell stories to entertain ourselves. And I mean, sometimes we do, and that's awesome. Entertainment is an awesome, beautiful thing. Just making people laugh is fabulous. But in our context as thought leaders and changemakers and people who want to move the world with our talks, well, We bring our stories to life to do something, to make a point, to underline the impact of something, to create empathy or a connection or entice people into action. So our job as speakers isn't just to craft a beautiful story, it's to use that story to connect to something larger that makes us think, pulls people in. And too many speakers out there tell the story and then back away from the moment of challenge. They may even, they may have a point in mind, but they walk away from it. And oftentimes I hear speakers say to me, "Well, I'm afraid that I'll be too pedantic or too directive or too challenging," which is fair to keep in mind, but I think we're relinquishing our job as speakers to step into that moment and to do something with the So Josh Shipp, who is a speaker that I've worked with before and who's actually gonna be on the show in a few weeks, talks about this framework that he wrote up for the blog over at This Moved Me, and I think it's a really powerful way to find that balance between too challenging and not challenging enough. And he calls it me plus we plus you. And you can read more about that framework over on the blog. Just search up Josh Shipp, and you can also see his awesome TEDx talk while you're over there. But it is our job to do something with these stories. And I know that that is why you are here. You have an idea, you have a mission that you're driven by, you want to make the most of these moments, and I am here to help you step into these moments with more confidence and clarity and to avoid these rookie storytelling mistakes because they're happening. They're happening a lot out there and I know we can do better. So let me summarize them really quickly. Number 1, talking about the story instead of telling the story. Number 2, using a preamble. Don't just get to it. Number 3, not making it specific enough. Number 4, making it too specific. Number 5, not understanding the power of past, past. Number 5, not understanding the power of the present-past tense. And number 6, not using your story to connect to a larger idea and audience. Speakers are leaders, leaders are speakers. Let's do this. Okay, you guys, thank you so much for joining me on the show this week and for being a part of the movement here on This Moved Me. If you haven't yet, go check out MoversU where, uh, you are gonna see lots of courses show up on there in just a few weeks. It is Speaking Storytime, and that's what we're gonna be doing. We're gonna be bringing your stories to life. These rookie mistakes connected with you and you think, "Ah, I do that. I want to hear more about this," I would love to have you join me for this course. And you can go check it out right now if you go to speakingstory.com. You will see a little bit more about the course, what it's gonna be all about, and that is where you can sign up for the waitlist. Because here's the deal, it's gonna have a very limited enrollment. I'm gonna open the cart for just 5 days. 5 days, that's it, and it's coming up really quickly, October 30th. Oh my gosh, it's coming! We're gonna do it! So if you are not yet on that waitlist and just even want to know when it goes live and want to make sure you don't miss out as you consider whether or not you want to do this online course, then go get on the waitlist so that you can be in the know. SpeakingStory.com. I'd love to see you over there. Thanks, guys. See you next week.