194: Discovering Your Speaking Superpower

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. Episode 194, Discovering Your Speaking Superpower. Let's do this. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking. Because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful, that's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so waiting for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Hey movers, it's It is Sally. Welcome back to another episode here on This Moved Me. It's episode now, really it's episode 194. Today we are going to discover your speaking superpower. Woo woo! And the reason we do this is so that we can bring ourselves fully and authentically to the moment on stage. Now, as a coach for the last 20+ years, it has been my delight that authenticity has become a buzzword. And I know that there's a lot of kind of mixed up ideas about what authenticity is, and it's really difficult to define, and all kinds of stuff. But essentially, I think it's really good because it means that we've shifted our focus a little bit as an industry away from trying to do it so perfectly to really opening the doors to all kinds of different people who have something to say, who are willing to be brave and take the risk and step into that space. So ultimately, my friends, my speakers, my movers, I think this is a wonderful thing, even though I still think people are challenged by this and they don't necessarily get what it means. I think it's a really good thing that this continues to be our focus, that audiences continue to really appreciate the idea of authenticity. We recognize it as an audience, we see it, we applaud it, even when it's, uh, unexpected, even when it's messy, even when it's imperfect. There's room for all kinds of people who can manage to bring the real true voice to the moment despite what is happening internally for us in those moments, which is fighting against authenticity. So I love that audiences want more authenticity, and it means that they want Real, they want brave, they want you. It's really, really good news, but it means for us that we as speakers have to dig a little deeper. We are in the process as we're creating a talk of leading, speaking, daring, and whoo, in that moment, sometimes we cannot pull that out. It's kind of like we just end up not really feeling comfortable in our own skin in that moment. It can sometimes feel like we're playing a role or being a character of a speaker. So do you become someone else on stage? And hopefully not. Hopefully we can stay true to that, that voice inside us, because your best friend should be able to recognize you on stage as the best and most daring version of yourself. That's where things get tricky, and that's what I want to talk about today, because sometimes it can feel like we have to become someone else in that moment, but we don't. Need to. There is something about you, essential about you, that is true regardless of the context, regardless of the quote-unquote role we play. If you're mom, worker, leader, friend, sister, daughter, whatever, all these different roles kind of bring out different sides of ourselves, but there is something true about you, whatever you're doing, whoever you are, an energy that flows from you straight out into the world. And that energy is your speaking superpower. Defining that, knowing it, utilizing it can help you own that moment and bring your most free and authentic voice to the stage. So today's episode, I'm going to walk you through a process by which you can begin in to discover your speaking superpower. I have been doing this in my workshops lately, and it has been a huge hit. I've gotten tons of feedback on it because it really helps us do something tangible with this idea of authenticity, right? Because it's a big beast to figure out, to wrap our heads around. We all get that it's good, we want more of it, but what does that mean for us? So let's try and get more tangible and figure out the thing that you bring to the stage that is unique to you, essential to you, that the world is getting from you. So this idea of your speaking superpower comes from the story of the pearl button. In the '90s, my friend Jane was this aspiring actor in LA, and she's amazingly talented, but as it goes in LA, she was struggling to make it big, like like she dreamed that she would. So as many young actors do, she took a class hoping to find the secret to landing more gigs and more roles. And so she signed up for the Discovering Your Pearl Button course. So in this course, she and her classmates would go to LAX Airport, and this is back in the days before 9/11, you could walk right up to the gates without a boarding pass, do this experiment that would reveal for her what her quote-unquote pearl button is. Essentially, the way I think about it, it's kind of like right in the oyster, you open up the oyster and there is that like special little thing about you, that pearl within. So the way this would work is Jane would show up to LAX with 3 very different character outfits. Her classmates would bring sheets of paper with dozens of descriptive characteristics listed on the sheets, and they would begin Jane and her classmates would walk into a gate where people were sitting waiting to board their plane. Jane would be dressed as a character. So for instance, character number 1, preppy lady wearing a golf skirt, tennis, and a polo shirt. And Jane would stand around looking preppy while her classmates would hand around the characteristic sheets and say to these strangers waiting to get on their plane, you see that woman over there? Would you mind circling 3 characteristics that you think apply to her just based on, you know, how she looks? There she is standing there judging. They're judging her, right? And because they're in LA and they're used to such shenanigans, they totally would. They're like, all right, fine. Well, those travelers would fill out their sheets, board their planes. The class would collect those sheets and Jane would go and change for character number 2. Hippie yoga mom wearing this long flowy skirt, peasant top, her hair free-flowing. And there she walks up to the gate. New travelers, same thing. See that woman over there? What 3 characteristics do you think apply to her? Fill out the sheet if you would. And they do. Travelers board the plane, classmates collect the sheets, and Jane changes into character number 3. Same thing, but now she's a power work woman. She's got her suit, her briefcase, her heels. She's She's looking busy and serious. They hand out the sheet, same spiel to a new group of people. What 3 characteristics apply to that woman over there? And finally, after 3 very different characters, 3 very different sets of travelers, they collect all the surveys and look for the most common characteristics across the experience. What seemed to be emanating from Jane? What were they getting from her regardless of what character she played? And that is her pearl button. It turns out Jane is sunny, which is so true, by the way. So true. And knowing that as an actor, she would look for sunny characters to audition for. If that's what people are getting from her, regardless of the role that she's playing, she might as well lean into it. Now, when Jane told me this pearl button story, it was one of those aha moments for me as a coach. I was like, Jane, this is so true for speakers too. We need to know the energy that audiences get from us too, because that characteristic that is so essential to who we are that despite our efforts to hide it, despite our efforts to become something else, what context or role that this requires from us, they're still getting it from us. So we need to embrace it, free it, create a clearer and more authentic connection with our audiences. Because our audiences want to feel like they know us. So So let's stop hiding what is essential to us and instead discover it, know it, utilize it. And when we can do that, this little pearl button idea becomes our speaking superpower. So are you ready to figure out what your superpower is? I know you are, and I can't wait to do this with you. So here's what I've done. I have created a worksheet that you can follow along so that you can figure out what your speaking superpower is. It's kind of like we're going to be sitting in a workshop together as you do this. Okay. So I'm going to send you to a website where you can download this workbook and walk it through. Okay. It's not a complicated process, but there are lots of steps to it. So we'll do it together. Okay, so before I leave you, I want, I want you to go right now, if you are interested in doing this project with me and this process with me, go to speakingsuperpower.com, and there you can download the freebie to help get to a place where you have a little more clarity on what that thing is that is unique to you that the world is getting from you that is your speaking superpower that we want to hone in on, that we want to utilize, and we want to strengthen. Okay? So go get that right now, speakingsuperpower.com, because this is going to be really cool and really fun. And it's lit up and got so many people really excited about what they have to bring to the stage. And so I'm really jazzed to bring it to more people. I kind of was like, "Oh, this does not just have to live in my workshop." workshops. I can bring this to all of you who listen to the show. So I'm super jazzed about it. Okay? speakingsuperpower.com. But before you go do that, I want you to just keep in mind a few things as you head into this process. Number 1, words will fail us in this process. Nothing's gonna feel quite exactly right, and that's okay. Right? The goal of this process is to get into the ballpark of what seems right. We're just going for the ballpark on this, all right? Because it's— words, words just don't really do the human complexity justice, but we're gonna try, all right? We're gonna try and get close enough, all right? That's all we're going for. Number 2 is that this is gonna evolve. So as you evolve, so does your superpower, okay? So keeping in tune with where you're at with it and who you are and how it's changing is part of your job as a speaker. It is a necessity that we are in tune with who we are and where we're at and what we're bringing to the moment. So words will fail us, this will evolve, and I just want to answer a question that I get a lot, which is, "In what context do you want me to answer this?" in the context of work or home? Like, what do you mean? Well, the awesome thing about your speaking superpower is that it should be present regardless of role or context. So if you're kind of thinking like, well, I bring something different to the moment when I'm at home and a mom or a dad than I do at work when I'm being boss bossy person. Well, mm, what I would say is there is something deeper than that that is true about you in both places. And if it's not, we are gonna change that, because a leader should be bringing that piece of them that is true for them at home into the moment at work. That's my belief in terms of how we lead each other and how we bring ourselves fully to the moment. So I want you to keep that in mind. Words will fail us. It's gonna evolve and it should be present regardless of role or context. Okay. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Okay. Right now, here's what I want you to do. Go to speakingsuperpower.com. Go download this little workbook. A work-along, uh, packet that will help you walk through this process of discovering your speaking superpower. We're gonna do it together. And then here's what I want you to do. I want you to come join me over on Instagram and share with me what your speaking superpower is, okay? I want to know. I want you to find a picture that represents that word for you. And why you ultimately chose what your superpower is. I want you to tag This Moved Me, so @thismovedme, and then hashtag it #SpeakingSuperpower. This is gonna be so cool. I cannot wait to hear what your speaking superpowers are. It's gonna be awesome. And yes, at some point I will share with you what my speaking superpower is over on Instagram. Come find me over there, and I can't wait for Cannot wait. Movers, let's do this. Woop woop. It was like, Marin, it's like, it's like you were Um, getting ice next to my head. Oh my gosh. Sorry. It's okay. It was amazing.