195: Outing the Story Behind My Speaking Superpower

Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. Episode 195, Outing the Story Behind My Speaking Superpower, and I can't wait to hear yours. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. Together with some fabulous guests, we will have a casual conversation about the art of public speaking. Public speaking, because a good talk can move the world, and it'll be fun. Yeah, I would think making alien cows meaningful, that's not a small task. I love your giggle. Wow. Oh my gosh, so wait for everybody to figure out the alphabet. Good morning, movers! Is it morning? Where you are. It is morning where I am. Oh man, there has been some big stuff happening and I'm pretty jazzed about it because that's kind of my MO. It's just generally jazzed. There's a lot to be jazzed about on Monday. I mean, you, you might be listening to this and you don't care what day it is because you're just listening to your podcast and oh my gosh, How cool is it that I'm one of them? That means a lot to me, it really does. But okay, if we're being specific, okay, today is Wednesday, and on Monday I shared with you something I'm super excited about, and that is helping you discover your speaking superpower. Okay, so if you have not listened to that show yet, you gotta go back and listen to it because in it, I explain what on earth that is and why it matters, and then I send all of you to go to speakingsuperpower.com and download this workbook so that you can figure it out for yourself. Okay, so somebody asked me, like, where did this come from? Aside from my story about Jane, which I shared about on Monday's show, they're for my own superpower. Because people are like, "What is your superpower?" I'm like, "Oh man, that's a tough one." It shouldn't be a tough one. I've just wrestled with it for a long time, and here's why. I want to share with you the story about why I have wrestled with it for so long. So many years ago, like a long time ago, I'm old. So many years ago when I was in high school, I was on the speech team, and I was on a team that always did well nationally. They just happened to be an incredible group of coaches and know what they're doing, and it's truly why I'm doing what I'm doing right now. But I remember vividly before my teammates and I, who were all competing in the same category, before we were heading off into some rounds at a national speech tournament, one of my amazing coaches pulled us aside and, and Sally Koering Zimney spent a moment with each of us telling us what our personal gift was that we brought to our speeches. In other words, what is your speaking superpower? And I remember she started with my teammate Brian, and she said, oh, Brian, Brian, you are so intelligent. Your intelligence comes through. And he is, Brian. 'we had these really sophisticated ideas, but he knew how to make them meaningful and powerful.' And I was like, 'Yes, Brian, he is so smart. That's true, his intelligence.' And then she turned to my teammate Missy and she said, 'Missy, you are passionate. You are so vivacious and people are just drawn to you.' And I was like, 'Oh my gosh, that is so true. She is. She's just like got this fire in her and it is inspiring.' And I was like, oh my gosh, what is she going to say about me? Oh my gosh, I was really excited. And she turned to me and she kind of shrugged and she said, well, Sally, people just like you. I was like, what? Um, they like me? That's not a thing. What do you mean? What? That's not something inherent in me. That's— oh man. And I remember being like, okay, I guess that's good. And off we went to do our rounds. But I remember just feeling a little bit like, man, my thing isn't really a thing. What is that? That's not a thing. And I'm feeling a little bit like I just won a popularity contest or something that means nothing, right? There's no substance there. There's no meat. But something's happened that has kind of made me go, "Hmm, maybe there's something there." So I, later that spring, I went on to win the national championship of original oratory. That was a big deal. A few years later, I found myself working at an organization where I every year would give hundreds of talks in front of squirrely 7th graders. And I walked into auditions for shows and gave pitches for fundraising events and did sales presentations. And I think what may have helped in every one of those examples is this thing that my coach was kind of calling, like ability. Okay, now there's kind of a risk in sharing this because the moment that somebody says, "People like me," is the same moment that people stop liking you, right? Which to me feels very true. So I say this as an example and and to help everybody understand that this is an evolving process. It grows with us. And I talked last week about how words fail us. They do, they fail us in this. And we are trying to just get into the ballpark of this. And I also want to push us and have pushed myself to own what that thing is, what your speaking superpower is, and to stop kind of bashfully apologizing about it. So I need to say this: I completely recognize now that it is a gift to be able to walk into most rooms and connect easily with most people. And I don't take it for granted. I'm super grateful for it. It is a huge asset, but it has also been a bit of a tripping point for me, both personally and professionally, because when someone doesn't like me, which, uh, hello, that happens, that is real, it hurts more than it should. Because when likability is your thing, or you think it's your thing, and you've been told it's your thing, not being liked feels scary. And that has held me back sometimes from taking risks and doing what I need to do. So it has taken me years to not see this concept of likability, uh, not as some silly, shallow, flimsy thing, but to really understand that people feel connected to me, and that is a gift. So I want to talk a little bit about how I've come to my speaking superpower. So my high school speech coach called it likable. She didn't use that phrase, but that was basically what she was saying. But for a long time, I would say positive or relatable. People used to tell me bright or real. And, you know, we try on these different words and we feel them out, and for a while you're kind of like, yeah, I think think that's it, but it keeps evolving and changing. And so today, because since we are— my hope is that today all of you are going to go download your own Speaking Superpower Workbook and go through the experience of figuring out for yourself what your speaking superpower is. And then I want you to out it. Okay, people, out it. And I'm gonna out mine to you right now, and then I'm gonna go post it over on Instagram so you can all see. My speaking superpower today, I feel, is connection. That people feel a connection to me and I connect with them. So that wall that often exists between the speaker and the audience, it melts away for whatever reason between me and them. People just feel a sense of connection for me. So my hope is that if they they saw me from across the room, there is something that helps them feel connected to me. Hmm, yeah, I know. And leaning into connection for me, what that means and how I try to utilize that as a speaker is that I continue to just stay really focused on the people who are sitting in front of me, right? And how this experience together that we get to have, me up in front and and you taking this in, it is a two-way street, and it open up this pathway between us because I get really fueled by that, and I believe that people can feel that. Okay, so now it is your turn. I want you to out your speaking superpower. Okay, go to speakingsuperpower.com, download the workbook, It takes about 15 minutes to go through the exercise. You're gonna need one other person around, you know, feel free to call them up on the phone if there's nobody around you at the moment, and then you're gonna put a stake in the ground and choose something. Remember, words fail us, it will evolve, and this is just a draft, so don't worry too much about it. And then you're going to out yourself with it. Come over to Instagram, tag me, #thismovedme, @thismovedme, sharing why you chose what you did. And my hope is that there is a story in there. Why did you choose the word that you chose? And I cannot wait to hear those stories. You can also use the hashtag #SpeakingSuperpower so that we can all find each other, which I would love. Let's go root each other on. We are outing ourselves Own it. This is the first step in you bringing it out into the world more. Okay, so we're making it public, people. I want to see you over on Instagram today at @thismovedme, hashtag #SpeakingSuperpower. Let's do it. I can't wait. See you over there.