202: Which Story Do I Share?

Hello, my movers! It's Sally Koering Zimney, and I'm so excited to be diving into some storytelling strategies and resources over the next few weeks because on September 4th, the cart opens to my Speaking Story course, new and improved, all about how we can speak the story behind our idea to better connect with, catalyze, convert our audience. Woo, woo, woo! Oh my gosh. I did this a year ago. I did this course a year ago. It went super well. And I learn a lot the first time you do anything, just like the first time we get a talk out into the world, we're like that, all the good stuff, keep. All the things that needed finessing and adjusting, you just keep working on it. And so, I'm super excited about all the changes and added bonuses and investment and better videos. It's better material. It's better everything, honestly. I'm super, super jazzed about it. So that's coming up in September, and between now and then, what I really want to do is talk about some of the things that came up in the course last time that I thought these need to be figured out before we get there, before we jump into the course. So whether or not you take the course, this is going to be really helpful for you. But if you are thinking about the course, this is all really good creative juice and time, uh, investment of your resources and creative resources to figure some of this stuff out so that you can really hit the ground running when hopefully you join the Speaking Story Course in September. So the question that kept coming up a lot with some of my students was, which is the right story for me to tell? And I think, uh, if we don't have an answer to that question, it can really hold us up in the process of it. So for some people The idea of telling what I call an origin story, or like the story that shares the beginning of your idea, the origin of your business, right? That's pretty simple. We, you know, if you think about your origin story for your idea, you can probably point to a certain moment. So that can be pretty clear for people. But for others, we have dozens of stories that that we tell to support our idea, our message, our business. And it really depends on the audience or the context or the point that we're trying to make. Or we might be unsure of which story to tell, which one should I invest time in? Which one should be kind of my key go-to story, which is gonna be the most engaging or most resonant or hold the most potential. For impact, which is really what we wanna be thinking about. And of course, let's be honest, not all stories are good stories, right? And we are made up of millions of stories. They happen every day all around us. And so it can feel like this daunting question, which is the one? Which one should I focus on? Which one's gonna support my idea? Which is the one that will really most authentically share not just about the brilliance of your business or your idea, but the brilliance of you, right? Who you are, so that the audience really feels connected to you and wants to learn more. Uh, it can feel like a lot of pressure. I know. So before we dive into this, I just wanna say a few things, some really important things that, that you've gotta understand and know. And these are really good generically applied concepts. And that is number 1: no one story has it all or can do it all. And if only one story in your business is doing all the heavy lifting, that story can get kind of bogged down with doing too much, right? We, we want ideally a story to make one single point. Now that story, in different contexts, you might use it to make different points, but you only want it at any one time to make one point. So it's really important that you don't feel like whatever story you choose has to do everything in your business because it can't, and it won't do that well if you try. So Think about it this way. If you find a story that doesn't really have it all, but it's what I call good enough, well, that's, that's great. That's good enough. Like, that is worth setting that story aside and maybe investing your time and energy in that story. The second thing I want you to think about is that we can always adjust things to make stories work better. And this gets into an idea that I call "story truth," and I'm using quotation marks that you can't see right now. Story truth. And what I mean by that is the story truth is true to the essence of the story, but some things have been changed that really don't work for a performance or an audience, a performance audience. So story truth's an idea that it's really important to think about because, let's be real, Well-crafted and delivered stories, they are not told exactly as they happened. They can't be. There's probably too many people involved for a listening audience, or, you know, there's no way that an audience gonna like remember all those people or all those details. And who knows, sometimes our stories take place over 3 weeks and we just, we have to shorten the timeline a bit to make the story work and to help elevate the truth of the message. So, you know, I mean, sometimes you, you like, you can't remember exactly what somebody said, and people torture themselves like, ah, I don't remember exactly what they said. And I'm like, listen, we are trying to take a human's memory, which is pretty fallible, and, and create it, create the story to do something, and And so sometimes there are adjustments that we need to make, and there is an integrity line in this conversation, and you know where it is. And I— it just has to be said, it's really important we don't cross that line, because if it's true, quote unquote, without being factually accurate, you're probably still in the realm of integrity. I say probably because everybody's line is a little somewhere else. But if you can't really say that it's true to the story, well, now you might be having a little bit of a fiction moment, which is okay unless people think that you are offering them non-fiction. So there's kind of a gray area here, and everybody's got to spend a little time thinking about story truth when they're considering which story they should tell. So I mean, I could do a whole thing on story truth, and I think it's really powerful and really important. In fact, my very first podcast here on This Moved Me was about story truth with my brilliant friend Rita Borzma, who is an improviser, this creative guru. She's a performing Genius. Hope you're listening, Rita. Hi, Rita. I just think you're amazing. And we talked about story truth, you know, emotional truth. Sometimes in order to get the feeling of what really happened across to our audience, we have to adjust the factors of the story so that actually it rings more true. The truth rings more fully, if that makes sense. And that's where the artistry and our own integrity and authenticity comes into play. Rita is super brilliant, so if you want to, I'll put over on the show notes a link to that particular episode, but you could just go back to number 1 on the podcast list because that was me and Rita talking about this very thing. So that's just another resource for you there if you want to, if you're kind of curious about this topic and want to Think More About It, that's a good one to listen to. But okay, so story truth, right? We can adjust the factors to make the stories work better and no story has it all, okay? So keep those things in mind. But that brings us back to this place where we're thinking about developing a few different stories and we're just not sure which one to work on, which one to focus on. So I have created a freebie for you to help you assess a story that you're thinking about. I'm going to go over the essentials here with you on the show, but if you head over to thismovedme.com/202download, you can get this checklist and kind of keep it in front of you to help take these takeaways with you. Okay, so thismovedme.com/202download, and you can go get the goodie right over there, a nice little PDF that lists all of these things out that I'm going to be talking about right now. Okay, so let's dive in. Here are some really important questions to ask yourself as you're thinking about, hmm, should I talk about this moment or this moment or this moment or this moment? Okay, so number 1, could the story take place in one moment in time? And whenever I say that, I just, I really, really want Whitney Houston's song to just come floating in there, but not working on that right now. So could the story take place in one moment in time? You want to make sure the story is situated in one specific moment and it's not talking about something more generally, or it's a summary of something that happened. So it's the difference between saying For instance, I used to play lacrosse with the neighbors, and we always got ice cream after every practice. Okay, so that's one example. Compare that to saying, one especially hot day, after my neighbors and I were done playing lacrosse, we were walking home and we heard the music of the ice cream truck from a few blocks away. So They're talking about the same thing, but one is located in a specific day and time. And that one shift from a more generic talking to something more specific in one moment, it opens the door to all kinds of things that I'm going to be talking about in this list. So number 1, could the story take place in one moment in time? Could you situate it in a specific moment? Because if 10, that's really good. But that brings us to number 2: could the story ignite the visual imagination? Once the details of your story are out there, they can really help the audience see the story in their own heads. So once you can share those kinds of details, that— what happens is it does ignite the brain in a really particular way, and you and the audience end up co-creating the story together because you're talking and and they're imagining it. And as soon as an audience member can see it in their heads, they are much more likely to remember you and your story and most importantly, your idea or the point of your story. So if we take the example that I just made, we could add some more details to ignite the imagination a bit more. Okay. So we're back to lacrosse and ice cream. Okay. So one especially hot day after my buddies and I, or neighbors and I were just done playing lacrosse. We were walking home and we heard the music of the ice cream truck from a few blocks away. My friend turned to me with a gleam in her eye. She said, "Oh yeah, the ice cream truck." Now that little bit there, the gleam in her eye, that little detail, all of a sudden I have a sense of who this character is in the story. And I can almost see her in my head, see her looking at me. And bam! That is so powerful and just ignited my brain in the story. So when you can find opportunities for that, if you think your story has potential for, for moments like that that could come alive with the visual and the visual details, that can be a really powerful story. So number 3, could the story resonate with my audience? Now, this is kind of a no-duh, but, um, it's really, really important. So might your audience connect with or find themselves in a situation like the one you're sharing? A hot summer day, the ice cream truck, hanging with a friend. I mean, these are all pretty wonderfully universal, right? They're generic enough that it likely sparks a memory or experience from our audience's life, right, that they can probably relate to. Now, sometimes our stories don't have this sort of universal basis to it, and sometimes that is the point. It does not make the story less valuable in any way, but it does let you know as a speaker that you've got to surmount that obvious gap between you, your experience as the speaker, and your audience's general experience. Now we're making a lot of assumptions, of course, and a whole group of people doesn't all have the same experience in life, duh, but we're making some assumptions in order to make pathways of connection. Because then your job becomes taking your story and making it matter to your audience, and that is essential. We call it finding the universal idea that lives underneath the very specific stories that we have. And they typically sound like— universal ideas typically sound like basic human themes and emotions, like rejection and failure and grief and hope and belief. And I mean, those ideas we can connect to and resonate with even through Very different, very personal stories. So the pathway to resonance could be super easy and obvious, or it might be very, very different. And then the pathway to connection, you've got to create that for your audience. Okay, so number 1 was, could the story take place in one moment in time? Number 2, could the story ignite the visual imagination. Number 3, could the story resonate with my audience? And that brings us to number 4, could this story humanize me and my idea? The power of stories is that it can take this abstract concept and make it matter because it exists within the real life of a human, right? So, so what that means is then it has to feel like a real human experience, a 3D experience, imperfect and messy like life, right? So if we think back to our lacrosse ice cream story— I love, I just made that up and now we get to riff on it— um, what might help humanize you and your idea would be maybe bringing your reaction and feelings or a specific perception right into that moment as well. So as an idea. Maybe you find your enthusiastic friend kind of annoying, or maybe you're lactose intolerant. Maybe an ice cream is just like the worst idea ever. Maybe the last time you guys got ice cream together, something terrible happened and it was an awkward moment, and you're— and now you're like already sweating thinking about it. All of a sudden, the, uh, the picture of what it is to be a human being comes to life. So a lot of times we want to tell the very best stories, right? The stories that just reflect the very best of us, and frankly, those stories are boring. So we want you to be human, which will create a pathway of connection to you and your idea. It's a part of resonance for sure. Number 5, could the story be crafted and edited well? So in other words, you cannot just wing stories. Great memorable stories, stories that really move people, they are developed with an intention and a moment in mind. They are leading somewhere, doing something intentionally. So They're— I'm not saying that like they're overly scripted or robotic in their approach, but they are intentional. And most of the time, we as speakers do not utilize a really critical edit and craft our stories the way that they could. And I think we miss out on impact because of it. Your story right now, when you're thinking about it, it's not crafted or edited at all, right? You're just going, hmm, could I make create that story or this story or maybe a story about that. So really the question becomes, are you willing to craft and edit your story? And I think we sometimes have a gut instinct about how difficult or easy that will be. So, but one way or the other, great stories are crafted and edited well. Okay, number 6: Could the story have varying levels? Does this story take the audience on a journey? We as an audience want to experience and see and feel an emotional journey that doesn't just hit one note. We want varying levels of energy, tone, emotion, um, and of course we can't just create that kind of thing if it doesn't exist in the story itself. Or that'll come across as really fake because it is. So there are plenty of levels in each and every day, but we don't often notice it or give them their due moment. So you've got to look for the levels, dig deeper into the levels, and sometimes push and pull them a little bit to create varying levels in your story. All right, number— I've got 2 more for you. Number 7: Could the story feel relived to the audience? And what I mean by that is, are we, me and you, the audience and the speaker, co-creating this story together with your brain and mine? So I'm thinking right now of the amazing Jill Bolte Taylor and her famous TED Talk. Oh my gosh, I love that talk. And it is 85% story. I mean, it's so much story. And as she was telling that story, she was reliving that experience. I mean, not actually, of course, right? She was standing on the TED stage years after the actual moment that she was talking about, but it felt like we were there. Because of the way that she delivered it, her physical manifestation and embodiment of the moments, her willingness to be emotive and vulnerable, her ability to shape what we were envisioning in our own brains with her. Whew! It's such a powerful talk. Now, not all of us are gonna go all Jill Bolte Taylor and walk through every moment of a story like she did and in that way, because that was all her. And I don't think you have to. I think that's a pretty overt example, but the audience does need to feel those emotions with us just enough that they can begin to see it for themselves. Because when that story feels relived, it comes alive and you just don't forget stories like that. You don't. Which brings us to our last one, number 8, and this is the most important one. Does this story, or could it, reveal the harm if your idea doesn't come to fruition, or the possibility of what happens when it does? In other words, is it clear The stakes. Do we have a tangible, powerful sense of what is possible when this idea comes to life? And do we feel the harm if it doesn't? So when I studied persuasion, what it often came down to was the speaker's ability to make the harm clear, to understand it, to feel it, to make it meaningful and resonant to the people in the audience. So We don't often think about making the harm clear, but that is an essential step. Okay, so if you are thinking about a story, you want to be asking yourself these 8 questions. Number 1: Could this story be one moment in time? 2: Could the story ignite the visual imagination of the audience? 3: Could the story resonate with my audience? Could this story humanize me and my idea? Could the story be crafted and edited well? Could the story have varying levels within it? Could the story feel relived to the audience? And finally, could this story reveal the harm or the possibility of this idea? So the harm of the idea not happening and the possibility of it Actually happening, just to clarify that. Okay, so there's a ton in here, and I feel I'm skimming the surface of some really important ideas. So this is something you're going to want to keep with you, uh, because I think there's just a— it's a really great easy way to assess for yourself how your story is, um, and if it's gonna pass muster, if it has the potential, the ingredients within it to, to be powerful. So, um, what I want you to do is go get this checklist. It's over on thismovedme.com/202-download. And here's kind of the way I would think about it. If you can say yes to at least 5 of the 8 of those questions, you, you have yourself a really good story. Notice I didn't say 8 of 8. I think 5 of 8 gives you a good starting point. And then it is our job to make it great, powerful, memorable, persuasive. Captivating, which we can do together in September, starting on September 4th with the Speaking Story course. Oh yeah, which brings me to some really exciting updates. All right, as I've mentioned, September 4th is when my updated and awesome course Speaking Story goes live, and I'm super jazzed about it. Um, in the fall, we had a full house of people who took it. And I just want to share with you what one of my students said about it, Laura, Laura Gminder. And she said, and I quote, "Thank you for an amazing program. It was an honor to work with you. I shared my story Thursday. It was by far my best received talk yet. Your tips helped me get more comfortable with my story, so comfortable in fact that I was moved to spontaneously reenact my firewalk Oh, I can't thank you enough, Sally. You've helped me take my speaking to a whole new level, and I'm so very grateful. Oh, Laura, that is awesome. Your fire walk. I want to hear this story. That's so great. And I'm really grateful you decided to join the course and share your story with the world. That is what it's all about, and that just makes me so happy. So if y'all want to know more about the Speaking Story course, you can head over to speakingstory.com. Right now it is a waitlist. I've got some different levels of experience that you can participate in this year in the course, and there are going to be caps for the different experiences that I'm offering over there. So you definitely want to go get on the waitlist. Everything goes live September 4th, so be on the lookout. Boop, boop, boop. Which, oh my gosh, another update. This is crazy. If you found this episode helpful and you want to dive into more resources like this in preparation to the course in September, I want you to check out my new free training. It's called the 5-Minute Story Makeover. It's this very short, sweet video series that shares some of the important secrets to unlock your capacity as a storyteller, to help connect with and catalyze your audience. That's right, we're gonna catalyze them. They're gonna get moving because of your story. So if you want to take part in that, you can head over to speakingstorymakeover.com, access the free video series. I would love to have you join me over there. Speaking Story Makeover com. Oh my gosh, okay, my movers. That is it for me this week. That was a huge one. Huge week. Well, it's been a few weeks and all the stuff has been building up and I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta get this out to the world. So here it is for you. Next week, oh my gosh, more things are coming, but that's next week. I think this is enough for this week. What do you guys think? It's like, geez, Sally. Gives a chance to breathe. Oh, I'm with you. Okay, super exciting. All right, let me just review because I have 3 things for you this week: the story assessment freebie, thismoveme.com/202-download, the 5-minute speaking story makeover video series, speakingstorymakeover.com, And then, if you want to, get on the waitlist for Speaking Story now. Reserve your spot. No obligation if you're not sure yet, but it'll get you on the list. Um, yeah, speakingstory.com. Check it out. Okay, that's it for me. Can't wait to dive in with you on your stories over the next month, especially because I really do believe they can move the world. Talk soon!