249: What it really takes to create your Signature Talk (and why it's worth it)

Well, hello everybody, and today on the show we are talking with 3 of my students from the Signature Talk Studio program from this summer, and we are asking them the very important question, which is, what does it take to create a signature talk, and is it worth it? And as you will hear in this episode, they talk about how creating their signature talk has been life-changing, empowering, and my favorite word of the episode, catalytic. Ooh, so good. In other words, it was challenging and worth it. So listen in to hear about their powerful ahas, the ways in which that they are using their signature talk now to leverage speaking in their business, and some pivotal moments on their journey. Hey movers, it's Sally Koering Zimney with Be Moved.

Let's go create.

Create some talks that will move this world. We're gonna talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving you? Well, hello everybody. My name is Sally Koering Zimney, if you don't know me, and I am your virtual speaker coach. And I help purpose-driven entrepreneurs and changemakers like you leverage speaking in your business, step on stage with courage and clarity, and finally leave self-doubt and obscurity in the dust. And I am so excited that you are here because on the show today I have with me 3 amazing people that I have really had the privilege of getting to know so much over the last few months. These 3 people are 3 superstars, um, among other superstars, of course, but these are 3 of my superstars from the program this summer. And they are 3 people who consistently, bravely share their voice. They share their ideas. With the world. And today they're going to share a little bit of their journey with you. And as every interaction I've had with them, this conversation is so fun, it's hilarious, it's heartwarming, it's moving, and I can't wait for you to meet them. So let me introduce you really quickly to the 3 voices and the 3 people that you are about to meet. And the first is Jayla Rae. Now, Jayla Rae is a speaker focused on the personal development of military spouses, and she herself is a military spouse. And she is just the sweetest, loveliest, most heartwarming— she's got so much sass. I just think she is awesome. And what I think is so amazing about Jayla Rae is she brings all of this personality and depth and warmth and intellect, and she's just this beautiful writer. And she combines it with a lot of knowledge about how to bring yourself out into the world because she's also an online business expert, which is actually how we met. And because she herself is a military spouse, and as she was getting to know her life as a military spouse, what she realized was it's a journey. And, uh, military spouses deserve and need to focus on their own personal development. And so that is what she offers. And I have to tell you, it has been an absolute joy to work with Jayla Rae. So I can't wait for you to meet her and get to know her amazing heart. And next up, we have Jen Whitmer. Now, Jen, you've probably recognized because Jen was on the show with me just a few weeks ago, and she's brilliant. I wanted her to sit on the show and be with me on the show on her own a few weeks ago because of her knowledge of the Enneagram, and I think what we can all learn about that because Jenn is an Enneagram coach. She uses the Enneagram to help people deal with conflict and personality clashes so that they can live more peaceful lives, and I love her mission. I feel like, I'm like, oh, I need it all the time. I need a little Jenn Whitmer. So I'm so glad you get to hang out with her again today because as you have already experienced, she's a total delight. She's a gifted communicator, and she brings all of that with her so consistently to her audience every day. She's amazing. And last but absolutely not least is Coach Debbie Powell. Now, Debbie was a basketball, college basketball coach for a long time, and now she's transitioned off the court and is coaching people all about wellness. And Debbie's story is really powerful. How can I describe Debbie? Debbie, I think you're so amazing. Debbie is one of those people who really quietly sits and takes it all in, and then when Debbie steps out front, she is unbelievable. She has such needed power to her stories and her voice, and she's so funny. And I have been wowed by Debbie again and again and again, and I had the same experience in this episode with her again today. Debbie is just so deep and so true and so intentional. And whimsical. It's just a really amazing combination. I love these people so much, and that's the truth. I love these people so much, and I love, I really love all of my speakers. I do, because I see what they are doing. They are digging deep in order to share something meaningful that matters, that moves people, and I'm really so excited and honored always to walk with people as they do this. Now, here's something really special about these 3 people, okay? They are 3 of the 6 people that you can hear if you join us Thursday night for the Signature Talks Studio Showcase. I cannot wait for you to see their talks in action. We're gonna cheer them on Thursday night. We're gonna love them up, and you are gonna be moved. You're gonna be so inspired by their stories and their courage and Just the beautiful talks that they are creating. I just, I'm so excited. I will calm down, I promise. Right now I'm just so jazzed. So every talk that is created, it's a birthing of sorts. As somebody, I've had 3 kids, and what I can tell you is every birth is different. Some are easier than others, some are more harrowing, but it's a birthing. You are creating something from within. Because they can be so transformative. Not just because now you have this, this being in your life that you've created, but because it changes you when you do it. You can't help but be changed. And I think the same is true for us as speakers. Creating your signature talk can change you, especially if you go about it the way that I do with my speakers in the Signature Talk Studio. And once you have been changed, your audience will be changed. If you move, they'll be moved. So I'm so excited for you to hear from these 3 amazing people. Please help me welcome Jen Whitmer, Jayla Rae, and Coach Debbie Powell.

Woo!

Yes!

In the house, in the house!

So cute!

Woo!

I'm so happy to see you all. Thank you for doing this. Do you really, do you have any idea what we're doing here?

No. Not much.

No.

I hope this part.

Sally said get on a Zoom and we're like, yeah, okay. Sure.

Thank you for your trust and your willingness.

I'm just happy to feel like we're in the same room.

We—

yeah, I've missed you guys.

No, I really miss you too.

You are—

you three aren't my only superstars in the course, but you're here because you are superstars. So just know that. So why don't we start by each going around and you introducing yourself, who you are, what you do, and why you wanted to create a signature talk to begin with. Okay, Jen Whitmer.

Awesome. Um, so yes, I'm Jen Whitmer. I am a speaker and a writer and a coach, and I help people with Conflict and Communication and Personality Clashes. And I have been speaking for a really, really, really long time. Just ask my mom. And then, but after being a teacher for a long time, I moved into the world of professional speaking. And even though I had so much public speaking experience and a lot of really great knowledge and practice, I needed some help with process and different types of creation. And so that's why I came to the Signature Talk Studio.

Okay, Debbie, how about you?

Hi, I'm Debbie Powell and I am a Coach specifically in wellness, but very holistically, body, mind, and soul. And I am just in the process of launching my business. And I joined Signature Talk Studio because I have several messages in me along with several courses, and I knew I needed help. I've, I'm a trained educator and I've coached athletics and I've done a lot of public speaking in various contexts. But I knew to get to the essence of what my signature talk was and to get through the process, I needed a coach. And I didn't know how much I needed other people in it with me, but I needed the other people in the course as well. So we'll talk more about that. But it's a little bit about who I am and how I got here.

Love it. Yes. And Jayla Rae.

Hey there. Hey, I'm Jayla Rae Ardolyn. I go by Jayla Rae. Very important, you guys. And I am a personal development coach for military spouses. I am very similar to Debbie in that I have just started my business. So I view having a Signature Talk in my possession as a very valuable asset in growing that business. And one of the reasons I found Signature Talk Studio to be kind of a right place, right time thing was mostly because Sally and of the human that she is, but Like Debbie, I also felt like I had a lot of messages inside of me and I just needed help with clarification and accountability. I know that I don't really get things done unless someone is asking me if I have done those things. So yeah, the course atmosphere was really intriguing to me.

Awesome. Yay! And I love these words that you all just said. You talked about process, community, and accountability. I love all those words. And you came at this really with differing levels of experience. So my question for you, when you think about the experience of creating that talk, and there's lots of different elements to it. What if you had to give it one word, you can be totally honest, what is the one word you would use to summarize like what is the experience like of creating a signature talk?

I can't do one word, ever.

I need a negative word and a positive word.

I need a hyphenated word if it's gonna be one.

Okay, how about a short phrase? Help?

There's too many writers in the room.

The one word of creating my signature talk. Okay, if I'm gonna do one word, I'm gonna say developing.

Mm-hmm.

But then I need to explain it.

Yeah, let's hear it. I like the explaining part too.

I We've talked about this in our community, but I think the thing about doing a signature talk is because I had to really dig deeper for some stories, and that led to my own personal development. And some— so developing the stories and developing the talk was really developing me. And we in our group had talked about vulnerability and authenticity and telling vulnerable stories. Stories and talking about what genuine vulnerability is versus just telling a story that sounds vulnerable. And that development for me was really part of a healing process because we were telling some stories that were devastating. I mean, each of our talks had components of, of tears and pain that we had experienced that we wanted to bring to an audience that said that you can overcome that and connect with them in these ways. So there we go. One word is development with a couple paragraphs explaining why.

Great, with the asterisk.

Love it.

Good. Okay, Jaylaray.

I didn't want to talk over Debbie if she was ready to go.

I'm air high-fiving you. Go ahead.

Yeah. I would say, if I did just have to choose one word, I would say that the process for me was very empowering. I came into it, you know, with a writing background, having done some speaking, at least enough to know that I wanted to be on stages and in front of people, but I really, really struggled with the mindset and getting over my own BS and just writing the dang talk and feeling confident in what I was already writing and knowing that that was the right path for me because it felt, it felt natural as it was happening. But I tend to kind of second-guess and like, you know, the brain kicks in and then it overpowers what the heart is doing and like that's never good. So there was a lot of that throughout the process for me, but it felt very empowering because it was more than just putting the talk together. It was a physical representation of stepping into a space for me. So I thank you so much for giving me that space and for everybody in the course too who provided that space. Because it was very like, it was, it was empowering. That's the impact that it had. But the process to get to that was a little challenging.

Yes, it is, isn't it? Was it harder than you thought it was going to be or easier?

Um, it was just the right amount. I knew, I knew where my challenges were going to come in. I feel like I had enough. Enough self-awareness with my own writing process and how I viewed that in the past to know that like, this is not— just because I do have that accountability and I have the group, that makes things more fun. It doesn't necessarily make things easier, but it makes it more enjoyable. So it was, it was, it was the amount I was expecting of difficulty.

Well, that's good because sometimes I struggle with how to communicate, but it's a journey. It is a process. It is like an exploration and kind of like Jen was saying, we are becoming something else as we are writing this talk because it is an embodiment of that becoming. So, it is going to challenge people and I don't want to scare people too much because it is also, like you are saying, Jaylen Rae, super empowering and we have to go through that process. You 3 are Coaches. That is how it works.

It's a very meta experience for me.

Oh, totally.

Which I'm obsessed with, so that's great. That's great. Anything meta, I'm into it.

So meta. I deal in meta of meta all the time.

Amazing.

Okay, Debbie, how about you? What if you had to give it one word? To summarize the experience?

It's tough to give it one word, but I think I would pick the word catalytic. It, like, there was some, like, unearthing going on, like deep excavating work kind of, and then, like, building, and then tearing that down, and then building again, and introspection, and, you know, there's a lot of things all of us could say, but to— I mean, I came into it like, Signature Talk Studio, that's what I wanted. And I think I thought I was more prepared to do it or find it, and not true. That's a big fat no.

But it was there.

So, each of the modules and the course and Jay Loray and Jen and of course, your coaching, Sally, I mean, all of it helped and everyone else too because there were other rock stars in our group. But it helped be the catalyst. It lit something and it is not just about my talk. It is about the broader thing that I do and what I bring and the impact that I have in the world and it is like my life. So that's what I wanted. And that's kind of where I'm finding myself. And I will just say, I'm not done yet. Sally thinks I'm done. I feel like I'm not quite done. I haven't finished the module, but that's okay. But I like, but like everything I get, I'm like, it's just adding on. Like, it feels like bonus right now. Bonus, bonus, bonus. Because of the work I mean, I had— it was tough. And more hiking and more getting out and more getting out of my head and then trying to write, talking to my Apple Watch, ideas while I was on the move, all of it was catalytic for how I'll do a lot of things going forward, not just creating this talk.

Beautiful. Oh my gosh, you guys.

And heard. Like, I wanted to say the word heard, but I am catalytic is more accurate.

I thought you said heard, like it is great to be heard.

No, but that would be amazing. If you would like me to talk about that, I sure can.

I know. I don't want to put words on you, but I, OK, fabulous. Oh my gosh, you guys, catalytic, developing, empowering. We do, we cry a lot here in the STS and talk about the Enneagram a lot. Let's just take a moment.

And sometimes we cry while we're talking about the Enneagram, so it's just a lot of what happens, a double whammy.

You just happen to be, and you three, my rock stars, the three rock stars I'm talking to right now, uh, all dabble in the Enneagram to some degree or another, some of you more than others, and I just find that fascinating. What is your analysis of that? Why do you think I have 3 rockstar Enneagram Coaches who took the Signature TACA Studio? What do you make of it? Jaela Rae?

We all have a thought. Jen, I want you to go first.

I wanna hear from Debbie.

Well, I will receive it since it went from Jayla Rae to Jen to me. My thought is the Enneagram is the best self-development tool that I have ever discovered and team development tool that I've ever discovered and used. So I think it makes sense that those of us who are interested in growth and personal development, but also in developing others would also find a niche in the Enneagram, or at least dabble in it, like you said.

Yeah, I would agree with Debbie because I have used, as a faculty leader, I have used StrengthsFinders, I have used Myers-Briggs, I have used other tools, but discovering the Enneagram and doing work and getting certified like Debbie, and, and so as certified coaches, we just, like, you do a lot of work to get that level of certification, and you don't just, like, not use it. Because A, you wouldn't do it to begin with, and then B, the reason I think I went through this process, I think Debbie agree, is to be to help other people. And that's why we use it. Like, and so the developing aspect for ourselves, or for me, was so deep, and there's so much self-awareness in this tool that it— and then we want to help other people, it makes then sense that we want to communicate that out. And And so coming together as people who are already, I would say, cultivated in self-awareness, we now have some seeds to then, to continue the analogy, to put in it in this signature talk that just is a part of, I mean, to get really cheesy, the garden of our life that is part of what we give. And so I think that's why it makes a lot of sense for us who have done work with the Enneagram to come into a space that is developing, that is empowering, that is changing, catalytic, I love that word, and want to learn more. Because you can't sit with the Enneagram and study it for any amount of time and not want to learn more. Because you see it's this cycle of growth and freedom that comes, so.

Well, and as Coaches, you willingly walk into a process knowing even if it was harder than you thought it was going to be, or you are like, you know, intuitively that you will develop in a process like this. So, I think there is an openness and a determination and a vulnerability that comes with my coaching students. So, the people I coach who are Coaches, like all of you, there is this beautiful awareness of the process and an openness to the process that I think makes it possible for you to create big results for yourself because you are You, you know that that's how change happens. That's how we grow. That's how we become better and show up differently and create bigger results for our, for our audiences, for ourselves. So, um, I think that, I don't think it's a coincidence. I mean, it is a coincidence, but it makes sense.

Okay.

So my next question for you is about community, and you all talked about how important it was to not just get coaching and not just have the process and the videos and the, you know, get the step-by-step, here's how you do it, and then do this, then do that, but also to witness each other and to support each other in that process. And that has been a dream of mine. Because I love to coach, but I wanted to coach more people. And, and I, I think there's something so beautiful about witnessing each other take risks and discover things. And so I'd love to know from each of you, what was it that the community part of this has given you and how, how did that part benefit you?

I mean, how long you got, Sally?

Right?

How about J. Lauré? Why don't you start?

Well, I spoke to this a little bit already, that definitely having the community makes a challenging process more enjoyable. I don't know that it makes it easier, but it makes it more enjoyable. And I think what happened with, with our group in particular is we had so many people at different varying stages of the process. And while Sally, that may not have been like ideal for you as the leader, I think for us as the group, it was immensely helpful to see someone who was two steps ahead of us, someone who was nearing the same step as us, and someone who was two steps behind us as well. So that we could see our progress and then we could also see where we were headed. So I don't think we could have like gotten— I don't think we could have like lucked out with a better group in that way, that we were all sort of in different places. And I just found that to be so much more valuable than I could have predicted.

And that was not— that was not how I imagined it. Yeah, I'm sure you imagined everyone Yeah, I was like, I wanted everybody to come about at the same place so we could all move together. But truthfully, I think one of the benefits of showing up and Jen was always had all of her stuff done was we couldn't even see her.

We were like, where's Jen?

Except wait, who's the person on the call who's 100% finished with her coursework?

That's right, Jaela Rae.

I'm finished with my coursework, but I am not finished with my talk.

All right, well, I'll give you that.

Oh, we're never done with the talk.

Never done. 80% done, but never done.

There you go. So, but having Jen be this kind of the person who, like Jayla was saying, was just a few steps ahead, was like, oh, I can do it, we can do it, and I see what I'm moving towards. So I feel like, Jen, you were, you were so invaluable to have coming in doing that because it is one thing for me to say, you can do it and here is what it looks like. You know, it is kind of like, well, yeah, yeah, but I am in the trenches here. So, for Jen to be in the trenches and be pulling, essentially pulling the rest of you along and showing what is just around the corner and doing it so, so well that I think it was really a motivating factor. So, thanks, Jen.

That was kind. I mean, I, I could say so so much about Community in this group. I, and I will try to use my words.

Is it because we are all social subtypes?

But also, I, what I loved about what J-LaRae was saying about the person who is with you and two steps behind, because I think it could be misconstrued, well, why would I be the person out front? How does that help me grow? Um, well, first of all, Sally's in front of me, so there's the Coach, there's that. But also too is you're never done with this process. So, Jayla Rae discovering something about her story and having to cut the running, we love you, but you like go through that process reminded me I have to cut some things and remember, like, that was really important for me. Or Amanda discovering this talk or this moment of this story reminded me, I'm like, oh, I could use that in another signature talk following this process. So it was really helpful for me. It wasn't like, I'm so far ahead, why am I here? It wasn't that at all. It was so— and then just to have a— I mean, this is the second step, and I promised I wouldn't cry because this has been a day, but having a community of people to understand what I'm doing and why, and not saying, why do you want to do that? Why do you want to stand up in front of a stage and talk? Why do you— aren't you just afraid of that? Like, that's dumb, you shouldn't want that. Like, having a group of people just cheering, like, yes, that's so good, and oh, your message is important, and what you're saying touched me today, even in just a fun rehearsal or was so meaningful to me in my stage. And then really lastly, I have done another course that was great. I am not knocking the other course, but the Community that you built, and I had said this one time, I am like a Coach who built a team. That is what you did for us and That is the difference. Like I can, I can go back and review those lessons from the other course and it's fine. And there's a Facebook group and whatever, but I'm not calling them when I'm like, you guys, look what just happened. Or I can't believe this is going on. Will you help? I'm not, I'm not calling them. I know that I can reach out to them, but this is my team. And that community that you built was so valuable to me.

Love it. Okay, I did it without crying.

You did it.

Close.

The rest of us are getting a little verklempt.

Exactly.

A little misty.

It means so much to me that you all came into this so open, and because you had to show up for each other, and you didn't have to. You can go through this course and kind of sort of do it, but you were just like, all 3 of you in particular, were like full, full on board, 110%, both feet in, diving into the deep end. That takes courage and vulnerability and trust with each other and your willingness to show up.

It takes time.

So, I'm so glad that you got so much out of it with each other because that was, that's the part that I can't control. That's the part that I can try and foster, but it really was dependent on you all to show up, not just for yourself, but really show up for each other. And that's a beautiful thing that really makes me happy. Love it. Debbie, how about you? What, what What benefit was Community for you in this process?

It is everything. I mean, it is why I am not done with the modules and I might be done with my talk. I mean, I am not. No, really. I could have said everything JaLeray and Jen said and there is no way to explain the impact of the Community, especially, I mean, those of us who just showed up. Is like you have got my back and you believe in me even where, like, if I believe in myself 99%, you guys believe in me 110%, you know, and without a doubt, and I can just come in. Yeah, thank you. I receive it, and it is massive. Like, I didn't want to miss a salon and I didn't want to miss a call because I wanted to be I did. Like you said, I wanted to be there for somebody else. And even if I didn't necessarily have anything to bring or a question to bring, I knew just being together really mattered and being in the process. And like Jen said, this is— it's an isolating thing to do that internal work and excavate. And like I said, and build and tear down and redesign and try it again. It is lonely and our team, I love, Jen, that you use that term, like our team didn't make it feel that way. It made it feel like we were going along and I knew at a moment's notice I could reach out and just say, hey, here is the thing. You know, with Amanda and with Kevin and with Michael, I mean, Michael and I have like chatted back and forth and like by sharing part of my response to her talk, she is like, I think you gave me my my title. I am like, I didn't give you anything but go get it, you know? We make each other better. I mean, that is true in life. I mean, this is not the first time I have experienced that, and I think that was the gift, is that we came in knowing that was possible and we just went for it. So, I say thank you to all of you, but Sally, you really set the tone and you made it possible for it to happen from the very— I remember the very first call and I was like, Who in the world knows what I am getting into? But I am jumping off the high dive. Let's go. And there you are sitting in the backyard. I had no idea if that was the first one or whatever, but I am like, COVID is crazy and we are here and we are advancing. It just, it felt that way from the very beginning and we are doing it together in different ways, but connected for life now. I mean, we're a team.

And I really, really, really, really want to meet in person sometime. It's crazy to me that we haven't.

It is, it is. We need to wait until we can hug one another.

Yeah, let's please.

And there needs to be karaoke. Not everyone needs to sing, but there needs to be some sort of—

I, I am down for that.

There needs to be a setting for all of us to like just have a blast.

Yes, I do have a dream of— I do have a dream of us all gathering at my parents' cabin.

Tell us where it is. We're coming. Road trip 2021, come on.

Ready.

Basically doing a retreat, a 3-day get up on your feet. We'll workshop each other's stuff. And we'll have lots of fun.

Yes.

Yes. Yes. I know.

3 enthusiastic yeses.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay. What I would love to hear from each of you now, one more big question, and that is what is one of the big ahas that you learned in this process? Maybe it was about the process itself or about you as a speaker or about how you show up or delivery, who knows? It could be anything. But what's one of those moments that you had that you were like, oh my gosh, this is big. And I'm going to remember that. I want to take that with me.

I feel like I was one of the people who was having an aha on like every call. I was like, oh my goodness, I never thought about it this way, you guys. And then I would just get So excited.

Well, that's why you're so fun to have on the calls, J'Laray, because you, you have those moments and we get to watch the whole thing happen. It's amazing.

So, so I had many, but if I'm going to choose, if I'm going to choose one, it's funny that this happened because that portion of the talk is the portion of the talk that needed to be removed. And it was the discussion of running. But the realization I had was that as someone who is very feelings and thinking based, feelings first, thinking second, and then, woo, they just like overlap, overlap, overlap, and then zero action can sometimes come from that process. It made sense to me that my personal development journey actually began with a physical activity like running because I needed to get inside of my body and step outside of these other spheres that felt more natural to me. It was Debbie's talk that put that into perspective for me. So, even if I didn't get to share that aha, like in the talk, it doesn't matter because now I know I have a process going forward. Like if I am ready to undergo another big personal development journey in whatever way I want to do that, I now know that it has to begin physically. Otherwise, it's not going to make as big of an impact. Yeah. So it's also not a surprise that I was resistant to actually putting this, The Talk, into my body for all of those, all of those reasons. I was like, no, I can still feel it while I'm sitting.

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, okay, but not quite what we're going for.

Yeah, but you did it, but you did it.

I think, I think mine is, uh, it's similar. I mean, it was such an aha moment to like stop trying to write this thing in a chair and just stop trying to write it at my computer, although I've written many a talk at my computer, but I had to just break out and get outside and, or get literally on the, it's ridiculous, the mini trampoline, like just walk for an hour inside at 1:00 AM and go, oh, those are 3 good thoughts I never would have had if I stayed just hovering over my computer. I mean, that's such an aha. I mean, you just kept telling me to move and I was like, okay. I am going to move. I actually think the biggest aha is that for me, I am serving Clients that they are afraid and like part of my morning prayer is like, I want to serve the broken and the betrayed and the brave and the becoming. Like, I am for all of you because I am you, you know, like that. I, that's who I am and I have to be those things in my talk. Like that you just said, fear and bravery in that one module. I mean, it was just like, it wasn't just a nugget for me. It was like, I have to show up even when I'm afraid. You know, I'm going to put this talk out there. Even where there's fear, like that's where bravery comes in and That's what it requires for change. I mean, my whole talk is that it's kind of nuts. My life is that, my business is that, my talk is that, my clients are going through that. So that I can just be vulnerable and authentic in the midst of that space and step forward, I think, is the biggest aha that I'm taking away. Like, I'm doing what I'm asking them to do.

And that is not easy because it's all theoretical until we do. And so it is so inspiring to see you just kind of grab it and say, I am going to do this. Because that's how, that's how it felt, is it was just like, okay, here I go. I don't know. I don't know exactly what's going to happen here. But here I go. I'm gonna do it.

Yeah, it's like the top of the roller coaster. I feel like I'm like creeping over the hill. I love roller coasters. I love that. I don't mind going up, but like the exhilaration of down is so awesome. And I'm like, can we just go back up that big hill again? You know, the rest of the ride is great, but I'm like, big hill, I love it. So I feel like I'm coming over the top and you've like allowed me to know that It takes courage, but the fear is okay. That is just part of it.

Fear is okay. I love that.

It is.

It is just part of it. Awesome. Thanks, Debbie.

Sure. Thank you.

All right, Jen, how about you? Oh, aha.

There are so many. I think having followed you a little bit before coming in and listening to your podcast and just some of those regular things, I had started to pick up this idea of movement and in my body being so important. And I am not feeling first. I'm actually thinking about it and I'm wanting it, but I'm using— I know, I'm using my body in the chair. So like, I didn't necessarily need to get up, but I did. And so that was all really helpful when we talked about the body things and I think for me, I echo all of those things. There was such big aha as well as the rest of the group. I think the different one for me was I knew my stories had power when I would connect with people. I knew that I have a gift of making complicated information simple. I knew those things, but I kind of relied on that a little bit of charm and a little bit of gift to get it across. Like, I could do that. If somebody said, I need you to talk for 20 minutes about one of these 5 topics, I'm like, awesome, give me the mic. I don't have— like, that wasn't a component of my issue. But getting it to where it actually was super meaningful and powerful for the audience that I was crafting a place of welcome in my message for them, that it wasn't like, "It's gonna be different tomorrow and good luck if you showed up yet." But really creating something in a process that was consistently providing a welcoming space for people to connect with my story that could change them and give them tools to go off into their life and live whole and peaceful lives. I needed that because I have my starburst mind is like, oh, we could do this idea and this idea and this idea and this idea. But finding that process to, I don't know, channel my laser energy, I guess, was super helpful for me, um, because I could talk and I could teach But the signature talk that changes people needed a structure and a process, and I didn't have that before. So, and I didn't know that I needed it. So I think that's the aha, that I didn't know that I needed the process, 'cause I'm like, oh, I just do this. So I think that, to add to the others, was helpful for me.

So good, so good. Yeah, I mean, for me, I felt like every time we connected, whether it was just doing our weekly Q&As or at the salons or just even in the group, I loved, I loved that, that every single one of you had a moment that I can think of right now where something big happened, where you showed up and offered up a challenge like, I am struggling with this, or, or even just stood up and tried something bravely and were really open to my nudging, suggestions, you know, pushing, adjustments. That is a Coach's dream because if people, people can do this stuff, but If they are not open to your coaching, it doesn't really, you know, and that is fine because sometimes, sometimes it is not a match. But it was really fun because you guys were like, oh, OK, that sounds hard, but all right, let me think about it. OK, we were doing it anyway.

We were trusting and doing it anyway.

On mute, you couldn't hear us. We would sigh really deeply first. We would go, oh, and then we would go, Didn't hear that part. You didn't hear that part. You saw her face, but you didn't hear it all.

I knew it was happening. I know how this works. Okay, so really quickly, we have just 2 minutes left. Really quickly, I would love to know how you are using speaking in your business. Okay, so how is it showing up for you? What are the ways that this is coming to life for you? Even as it is still in development, because it is, it is an always in development thing. But what are the ways that you're like, now, oh my gosh, I'm gonna, I'm doing this, or I'm trying to show up here, I'm using it in this way. How are you using it in your business now?

Go ahead.

I have a hope. I have a hope for how I would, how I would use it. But again, I'm building, so But I see having the talk and being a speaker in tandem with being a writer. So maybe eventually the talk is actually not the signature talk anymore, it's the talk based on the book. But that part doesn't really matter to me because it's really, you know, coming up with the process and like the, the how to do this going forward for every kind of talk. Um, so eventually that's where I see it. Um, right now as we are online, um, I see it as a lead generation opportunity. I like the more experience I have as a speaker in front of the camera, et cetera. Um, the better, the more, the more authority I'm building. So.

Love it.

Jen, how about you?

I think the business that I'm in, and the topic that I talk about, when you talk about conflict and communication and relationships and personality, requires a lot of trust. And so when I'm talking, when I'm using speaking, that is one of the most effective ways to connect with my audience. I love writing, but a little bit of my panache is lost in the written word. I mean, I, I, I can do it, and I I definitely write the way I speak. And I think people who read my writing hear me in it until they've heard me and then they really hear me in it. And so I think the speaking helps connect me to people in a way that builds the trust that is required for them to do the work that I want to help them with. Yeah. Like they have to do the work. I'm a coach, does— I can't do it for you. A speaker doesn't do it for you. I give you the tools and the inspiration to go do. And I want to cheer you on, but that requires trust in somebody to do the work. So I think that the speaking does that. And so I have booked a few speaking gigs, which has been really fun. And being— showing up online. Yay!

See, my cheer squad rocking it, rocking it.

You know, showing up online in video form over— and I used to hate video. Hated it. Do not put me on screen. But now we're just all so used to it. And now it's just so much easier. And people are like, how do you rewatch your lives and use them again? I'm like, it doesn't, doesn't bother me anymore. So that growth of being able to just do these things has mostly been a way to really connect with people and build trust. And in all those different ways.

Beautiful. Yeah, you're rocking it. Way to show up, Jen, again and again. So good. Debbie, how about you? I know your, your, your business is just starting.

Yeah, I'm kind of in the— I'm not in the hope camp. I mean, I, I would describe it more as that, but, um, I feel like it's in the works. Like, it's really a lead generation tool. Um, also, um, from my perspective, it's a networking thing. So I'm actually actively making lists and like getting materials together to just offer my talk, you know, offer it out there. So that is happening. Yeah. But I'm also, you know, I'm putting a coaching package together that would go with it. So that's— I mean, the whole blend and all of it right now feels like everything's coming together. Which is great, but it really, it is central on this talk. That is what has helped me. That is why I feel like it has been so catalytic.

I am so glad to hear that. So glad to hear that, you guys. You are, all 3 of you are amazing and dear to me. I love you and I will love you forever for trusting me and for jumping in with me in the inaugural STS and I'm so excited to bring in a new crew of people, and I hope that you three in particular will help lead the way as alums, because there's a new crew coming in and they will now be looking to you. You are, you are the Jen Whitmer of— It's rec time! So I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for your time today. Thanks for hopping in with me. Love you guys, and we'll be in touch again soon. Bye!

Great, we'll see you.