313: 3 Lessons on How to #BeVisible

Hey movers, it's Sally Koering Zimney with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're going to talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving giving you live training that we are doing this month in the Be Visible Challenge. But don't worry if you right now are like, shoot, I didn't do it the way I wanted to. And I count myself among those people. So don't worry about that. We just all did the best we could, but I don't want you to worry because we will do this again. Okay, I might change some things up, but this is where we start. This is how we begin to put ourselves out there, to show up and serve our audience. Okay, we baby step our way. So a lot of people, some people come to me and they're like, get me on stage, let's do this, let's go. And they see themselves as a speaker, even though there are some times where they're like, oh man, can I really do this? All the way along, we all deal with fear and that sense of imposter syndrome. Can I really do this? All the way along your journey as a speaker. But some of us are like, I don't know if I will ever get there, but I do know that I want to show up for my audience. And so we focus on all the steps along the way, whether you see yourself out on stage or not. And that is what we have done together. Over the last month, I'm super proud of you. I feel like I have seen you, you listening, okay? I've seen so many of you step out front to go live. I've seen some awesome reels show up. I have seen you telling stories. I have seen more of your faces. All of that matters. It really does. It is part of the process of getting more comfortable, getting more confident, showing up out front. Okay? That's what I want you to know. I want you to know that any progress you made this last month is progress. Baby steps will still get you there. It just may take a little bit longer, and that is okay. Let's not underestimate what we've had to tap into and what you have to tap into day in and day out. Okay? Even outside the context of a global pandemic that continues to sort of change under our feet, of the chaos in our daily lives, okay? Mm, right? Of unknowns and uncertainties of changing goals in our business, of the market changing. There's a lot that we are all sorting through. Then to put on top of that, this pressure that we sometimes feel to get out front and be visible. Okay. I think it's important. I think it's gotta be an essential part of your business, but let's not underestimate how hard it is, how challenging it is. But I hope one of the things that you have realized this last month is there's lots of simple ways for you to do it. Okay, so we have our final training, our final time here together. My hope is that you did a dance party or two in the last month. They are so good for us because they are not comfortable. That, that is the point. That is the entire point of the dance party is to get into our bodies and get used to again, once again, we've got to push ourselves beyond what is comfortable. And it is weird. It's an awkward thing to be like, I'm standing in my office. My husband's right there. My kids might be walking by. I'm just by myself. People are watching me. What are they thinking? All of those things are the things that we battle all the time when we are putting ourselves out there, when we are getting visible and getting out front. So it is, it has so many benefits. Feels good after you're done. Gets you off our butts. Gets me off my butt. Gets you off your butt. And it gets us into our bodies and practicing discomfort. So high fives, high fives to all of you if you actually did it. I hope that you did. Yes. Good, good, good, good. Greta, way to be here. Way to get on your feet and do some dancing. I'm proud of you. So what I wanna do in our time is to review some of the key things that we have done together this month. To remind ourselves of these important essential ahas so that as we're moving forward, we are bringing all of this with us. Okay? One of the things that I hope that you have built for yourself and done for yourself over the last month is to build a little bit more consistency, to find some ways that feel fun. To go live or feel fun to show up and get visible. That you realize like, okay, this works for me. I like this and this not as much for whatever reason. To find places in your schedule that work better for you going live and don't. It's not about doing this perfectly because that doesn't exist. And that is a pointless, pointless journey to be seeking that. That was not the goal. It was never the goal. Goal is truly to practice showing up and being visible. So what I would love to hear in the comments, and if you're here, say hello, put, say, you know, I'm here live or I'm watching on replay. I would love to see all of the comments rushing in. Because I want to know what is one thing that you learned over the last month? One thing that you are going to take with you as you move along and continue to show up and be visible for your audience. I can't wait. I can't wait to hear the lessons. It could absolutely be something that we talked about here in the live, or maybe it was just an aha that you had in your own life as you were bringing these ideas. To life? What was something that occurred to you? You thought, oh, hmm. So let's start by talking about what I have named the Four Horsemen of Visibility. Okay. Do you know the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? And there's like Gottman who does some really incredible research around marriage and relationships. He talks about the Four Horsemen of— what do they call it? I think— I can't remember. Anyway, the Four Horsemen is a thing. So I was realizing after we did our training, our first training where we were talking about four mindsets that we need, we were really talking about the Four Horsemen of Visibility. We talked about perfection. Raise your hand if that is a horseman. That has been tracking you down and taking you down. Ape. You are not a— we talked about fear. If the Horsemen of Fear have been tracking you down and it feels like it is coming after you and dragging you down and bringing you down. Yes. Maybe for you it was around ego or judgment. Hey, can I take up this much space? What will people think of me if I do that? There's some big stuff happening there. I feel all these, I feel all these. And imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome. So I wanna review the key mindsets that help us tackle these these Four Horsemen because they are there. And like I said at the beginning of this, they, they don't just exist for those of us who are starting, for those of us who are getting going. They exist all the way along in the journey, which is kind of like, people will be like, oh great, so I'll always feel this way. Importantly, what I want you to know is that if you feel this way, it doesn't have any significance. In terms of you belonging out front, you being able to do this, you having an impact in this way. You can still do it. In fact, in some ways, I feel like all the, the acknowledgement of these things is just pulling you out front, just bringing you out front anyway. Okay, so let's talk about remind ourselves about perfection because that was a major refrain happening here in the group. How many of you watching went live on a BeLive Tuesday? Perfection can keep us from showing up even if we are just not feeling our best in whatever way, which I get it. I get it. But you know what we tell ourselves? When we are dealing with the Horseman of Perfection, we tell ourselves to show up anyway. That's right. We're gonna show up anyway. Because we're not going for perfect. We are going for connected. And perfection kills connection. So you being you, you showing up as you, that actually is the superpower. You don't have to do it perfectly. I don't want you to do it perfectly. Perfect gets in the way. We're going to show up anyway. Maybe for some of you, it's the fear. And fear is tracking you down. It's like, ooh, I just, I don't know if I can do this. Maybe there's a fear of really like your adrenaline takes over and fear can feel overwhelming for you. That's okay. Fear is a part of it. Fear does not mean that you can't do this. It's just a part of it. So we have to change our relationship with fear. Fear doesn't get to hold you back. You just— it gets to come along for the ride. And we change our relationship because the truth is fear— what's happening in your body when you're afraid Isn't that different from what's happening in your body when you're excited? We just think about it differently. So what we are going to do is we are going to lower the bar and just remind ourselves, like, everybody's afraid. It doesn't have to be here. It can be here. And fear gets to come along for the ride. And instead of telling ourselves, I'm nervous. We're going to say, I'm excited, and see how that feels. Play with that. Because eventually we start to see the evidence of us being able to do this, and we start to believe ourselves when we say, I'm actually really excited right now, even though it's like my body's freaking out. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay. So perfection. Maybe it's your horseman, maybe it's fear, maybe it is about judgment from other people. The tall poppy cutters that we are afraid to put ourselves out there and for somebody to say, wow, who does she think she is? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And just chop off your head as you set yourself to a different level. Right? It can be really, mm. It's going to tap into other people's fears when you start stepping into a new level. And the, the poppy cutters can make us doubt whether or not we belong out front, but I want you to take up space anyway. I belong out front. I get to hold as much space as I bring into this world. I have a voice. I have ideas. My story is needed. And we ignore the tall poppy cutters. Maybe that's you. If that's you, give me a little shout out in the comments. But many of us, many of us all the way along are battling imposter syndrome. The fourth horseman. The fourth horseman is telling us that only the elite special people get to be speakers. Like, oh, you have to have a book, you have to have a large audience in order to really do something with the moment that you have out front. And that is just not true. Because there's plenty of people with books, with large audiences, who waste the moment that they have out front because they haven't shown up with courage and authenticity. With a focus on connection. That's what we do as movers. And so it's really important for me that you understand that there are no special unicorns in speaking. There's not like some special people operating up here, right? I can tell you there's plenty of people who are out on the big stages not making use of those moments, and people up there on the big stages who are working through their own stuff, their own fears, their own Four Horsemen in order to show up and do something real with the moment that they have. That is part of the journey and it gets to come along with us. So we embrace that we show up anyway. We embrace that we're gonna lower the bar. We belong out front. You belong out front. And there are no special unicorns. And speaking. Woo! Yes. Okay. I'm jazzed about this. I hope you are too. I see a lot of thumbs up, thumbs up. Fabulous. Okay. The next big thing that we tackled here in the group, which is so, so important, is stories. Because one of the simplest things that we can do to show up out front, to be visible, is to share a story. Now, I could, I, in fact, I gave a keynote yesterday all about the power of stories and why they are so persuasive and so powerful. They are such an incredible tool. I'm not going to go into all of that right now, but you know this, you know this. In fact, we all know this, but it doesn't make showing up and doing it necessarily any easier. We just know it's something we need to do. So one of the things that we did together in the challenge is we talked about 3 different types of stories that are right here. They are all, they already exist in your life. We just need to notice them and bring them to life. So we talked about 3 different types. We talked about the customer story, the story of the people who are, have already worked with you, who are making progress in their journey, telling, uh, about how you work with them and what that looks like. It's an impact story. So even if you are just starting out, you can share your customer's journey and other people will recognize their journey in your customer's story. So are you sharing your customer stories? Are you sharing customer or client, uh, student, what, whatever word you use for the people that you work with, your audience. It's really your audience's story. Can tell their story with permission and in integrity. I'm assuming we are all on board with that. Yes. The second kind of story that we can share, so powerful, and we underestimate it, and we kind of think that it's nothing, is the everyday story. How many of you have the thought to yourself, like, I don't have any stories and my life's kind of boring. I ain't really doing anything. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're sure that our life is not story worthy. But it is because if we are looking with the right kind of story eyes, in other words, with an openness and a presence of mind, we're paying attention and we are bringing that sense of wonder. Greta, I know you love that word, with good reason. If we bring a sense of wonder to our everyday, we actually see that there are stories happening all the time. The time. If we notice them, if we can find them, what we'll notice and what we'll start to do is see that our message is a filter to see all of these everyday stories around us. And it is our job then to turn around and share our everyday stories with our audience. Okay? The things that happen to us all the time. That moment with one of your kids. When you were at the grocery store, what did you see? What did you notice? You're in the car. What's happening around you? One of, I'm gonna point you to one of our speakers here in the group. Her name is Tiffany Maddock. Tiff, if you're there, also known as There She Grows. So Tiff is really good at sharing the everyday story. And she calls it, and I've borrowed this phrase, she calls it seeing with story eyes. Are you seeing with story eyes in your everyday? And what she does is she's experiencing a story and she has a response to it. She feels moved in the moment and is like, pays attention to that and captures it in some way. She's so good about remembering those moments, capturing it, and then turning around and sharing it. As a nugget of perspective for your audience. They're around us all the time. If we can make space for them, see with story eyes, and be sure to capture them so that we don't, we don't lose that opportunity when we share with our audience. Now, this last story, this last type of story is the big one. It is the one. That will help you establish yourself as the authority in your industry. It will help bring people into you, into your programs. And this is the origin story, or what I call your signature story. Your signature story is the one that is feels the heaviest, like, oh, I don't know what that is. And how do I find one story to encapsulate me and my idea? Right? The origin story is where the moment that the idea for what you're doing originated. Where did it originate? Every story begins with an aha moment. Every aha moment you have, there's a story there. And every idea begins with an aha moment. So what's the idea of your business and what is your origin story? Now, the process of finding your signature story or your origin story, it takes a little bit, friends. It is a process of self-discovery. Discovery, a process of getting clear, and some experimentation. And I think it's really important to note that your signature story can change. We have several— every idea has an origin story, so you may have several signature stories happening in your business and in your message as you're showing up and getting visible. And one of the things, like, as we have been traveling together through this challenge over the last month, what I'm doing is I'm preparing you for the next step. And the next step that we are taking together is this right here. It's called the Find Your Signature Story Workshop. It is a workshop where we are going to dive in together. It's a workshop. We will workshop some things together. It's a very limited enrollment opportunity. And together we will take 2 hours in this, in a small group, and we are going to find your signature story. What is that story? So we're gonna do some work together. Okay? All you need is your brain and a piece of paper to be able to do this. I'm gonna ask you a lot of questions. You're gonna be thinking. What is my signature story? Now, knowing your signature story, once you know your signature story, then you position yourself as an authority out front. It is the building block of your key message, aka your signature talk. That is one of the things that I help entrepreneurs do. These big-hearted entrepreneurs who are like, I just want to show up and serve my audience. I want to grow my business. I've got big ambitions. I've got big ideas, but like getting there feels like, whoo, how do I get there? These are the building blocks. We show up consistently and get visible. We get clear on what that signature story is so that I can show up and share that. And there's resonance and connection and my audience goes, Oh, wow, that sounds a lot like my journey, and I'm ready to show up. I'm ready to step in and connect with you on that. And then you pull them into your world. And once you've identified, once you've found your signature story, then we can build it together in the context of a signature talk. But first, you have to know your story. We can get lost in that place. Maybe you've done that work where you're like, okay, I want to build a signature talk. I want to, I want to keynote. You're like, what is the story? What is the story I have to share? If we get lost there, then that's a problem. I was doing a workshop yesterday with a group where we were identifying the story that they wanted to share. We were identifying their signature story. And one of the ways that we can get mixed up in this process is we might have the story that we wanna share, but we don't have the point that we wanna make, or we have the point that we wanna make and we don't know what story to tell that will illustrate that point. Those two pieces have to work hand in hand because your story illustrates your point. So let me help you get there. Right? What this is, this link right here, that bmoove.com/fyss, that link will take you to a waitlist page because here's the deal. I'm only opening registration for a week for this, and it will have limited enrollment because I wanna be able to dig in with you. Enrollment will open on the 17th. And we will do the workshop on February 24th, Thursday. We will do this workshop together. It's 2 hours and it's going to be a pivotal, important next step for you in this journey. All right. Reach out if you have questions. I can't wait to see you all on the list. See you soon. Okay, questions, my friends. I will see you on the waitlist.