320: Journey from Invisible to Visible with Tiffany Mattick

Hey movers, it's Sally Koering Zimney with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're going to talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved.

This moved me.

What is moving You. Hello, hello, hello. We are going to be going live here with one of my amazing speakers, Cindy Maddock from There She Grows. So she will be popping in here in a moment, and we're going to be talking about visibility and what holds us back from visibility because We all have that.

Okay?

I don't care who you are, how experienced you are, and how much you love even being visible. Speaking from experience, I love being out front. And yet, there are times when I'm like, I don't have it in me today. I don't have it in me today. Hello, Tiff. You're here. And let's bring her in. About is her visibility journey. I live down the street. Tip and I are neighbors. Good. And very good friends.

See her often. Awesome. I love it.

It's like the whole fam hanging out. Family affair.

I love it. Family affair.

Thank you for hopping in with us and talking about your visibility journey. It's a journey.

It has been a journey.

Okay. I was just talking about how even for me, like, this is my job. Getting out front is literally my job and I enjoy it. And yet it's still something I have to push myself to do from time to time. Does that resonate at all with you?

So when you, let's just make sure we're all on the same page about what it even means to be out front. Front. Yeah. So when you say that, and when you ask your students to do that, what exactly are you asking them to do? Because that can mean a couple of different things, right?

It is people seeing your face and hearing your voice at the same time. Okay. Because that is kind of the vulnerability combo that makes it powerful. And also feel especially risky, right? So there's some safety in doing our, like, a podcast recording. There's, there's some safety there. Now, it's still important and it's still part of, like, getting out there, but really my push for entrepreneurs and changemakers like you is for people to fast-track that, like, know, like, and trust factor And the way we do that is by helping them see you and hear you.

Yeah.

Does that make sense?

Yes. And so sometimes, sometimes those things can be actually planned, right? So you could plan something and actually think about what you're gonna say.

Right.

Or not. And I, I think it's interesting to think about the, or not. Because sometimes I feel like when it's not prepared, not polished, and it's just more casual, informal, conversational, relatable, that actually gets more attention. It's— I don't know if attention is the right word, but just more feedback from the audience when things aren't quite as realness, right?

It's like, oh, we're just catching you on your way to do something. And social media gives us So many opportunities to just press go and show up and kind of respond and be in the moment. And I love that. And yet, I mean, again and again, and this is, this is why I wanted to bring you on to talk about this, because even though this is like a passion of yours and you, you know, you, you do a ton of like the the kind of speaking where it's like, okay, I've got something planned, I've got it scheduled. You're working with lots of companies and showing up and sharing your voice out there. And I've been really pushing you on, on social media because you share a lot of other people's stuff. And I was like, I wanna see your face. I wanna hear your voice. And you've been doing an awesome job of that.

Yeah. This last week I've been doing it.

That's how we start.

But the other, the other thing I think, especially for speakers, is that when you're in the room and you actually have live bodies, that brings out a different energy out of my body than to stand in front of my phone by myself and talk to the screen. So there's like a, there's a dynamic there that you have to, if you can somehow get yourself to believe that there are people on the other side, which there are, right? I mean, we know there's people on the other side. They may not be listening to it right now, maybe later, but like, can you find the connection even though those people aren't in front of you?

But they're out there, you know, like 200 people will watch this. 200-person audience. That's, that's nothing to sneeze at.

Right.

That's a lot of people.

Right. Think about that.

Or, right. If we think about that too much. And it keeps us from just showing up and sharing our everyday, like, man, life that we think nobody cares about. And so I love— right.

And I think that's an interesting comment though, because I struggle with that. It's like, who cares? Like yesterday I was talking about my makeup. Like, who cares? Nobody, you know? And I always think that, like, when I see certain things, I'm like, who cares? But I think you can. In those moments where you think it's a who cares thing, it is an opportunity to show personality, life, build trust, what, do all the things because you're just on the same time.

Yes. I like to think of these visibility moments, right? And it's the everyday stuff. So it's not the, we're, we're kind of building up to, okay, now I've got the clarity and the confidence to put something formal together. I don't mean formal, like fancy. I just mean. Intentional, like a presentation or a talk or a workshop or whatever, but the, the more casual everyday stuff, that's how you build relationship and connection because what the experience we're offering our audience is, I feel like I know you. So you sharing your thing is resonant. It's relatable. Like, oh yeah.

Right.

I had that moment too, where I'm like, I'm just standing in the mirror and I think my makeup's great. And then I go out into the daylight, the real life. I'm like, what?

What did I do? But I think the other, when I think of, I've just come out of a, what I would call kind of a very quiet, I think when you and I were drawing it out, it was like this invisible period. And it's been a while. It's been 6 weeks, if not even more than that. And it's really, really, really easy to go dark, to not be seen. It's really easy. Like, I don't have to work that hard to not be seen. So when I think of being visible, there's energy. Like, it, you, it requires energy to actually think about turning on the camera and what am I gonna say? And I'm, I'm of course a critic. You know, when I hear back what I'm saying and the amount of times I use the word like, you know, and I'm like horrified. I'm like, I need to stop doing these like RIP moments cuz like the word like, okay, let me just comment on that.

Okay. Because you're not alone in watching. We, we are always going to be our most critical when we are watching ourselves, but just like how You're not gonna look at somebody else with that same lens. I've never watched you and thought, we gotta work on Tiff's likes, right? That's how human beings talk. We use filler words. We think for a moment, but I don't like wanna be a valley girl.

I don't wanna bring out my 19-point.

I like, like, like, you do have to work on some of those things. But you're not at that point. It's the bar is, is it distracting? Is it taking people away from really hearing your message because they're going, oh, she's got this thing that she does or whatever.

Right.

And so she's got this thing she does, those sorts of things can really hold us back from just showing up and being a real human with filler words. Mistakes and challenges and a messy house and no makeup or all the things. And that is, it's a process of showing up and inviting people in to be in relationship with you. I hear. So, okay.

Right, right. And I, and I think all that perfection, all that making sure that everything's all buttoned up, is everything picked up? Is my lighting right? Is my makeup on? You know, what am I wearing? All, all all that noisiness actually keeps you invisible as opposed to just do the damn thing, you know, just like, it's like lower the bar, lower them back to what I was saying before.

Yeah, do this because you have done— yeah, you, you were in this quiet phase, which sometimes we need, you know, it's like we need some fallow time sometimes to go get clarity about our approach. Or sometimes you just need to restore and there's energy that you've gotta fill up before you can push yourself out. So I'm not saying you show up at all costs, but knowing when we need to show up anyway, in other words, when we need to push through that resistance that isn't meaningful, that isn't worth keeping you from your audience, whoever that is. Making that distinction is really important. So my question for you is, what has helped you go from quiet and feeling kind of invisible to, I'm gonna push myself through this discomfort, and you're doing it. So tell me about what has helped you in that process.

For sure. I mean, obviously coaching and being surrounded by people who are encouraging and, you know, just want to, uh, see more of it. I think it's easy to forget about the people who are on the other side and that they actually do wanna hear what you have to say. I do a lot of written work and that's a big, another big form of communication for me. But I think to be able to come and do it and bring more of the, the actual body, the live, the self, all those things to the words, I think has an extra layer of possibility. But so for me coming out off this dark period, it has felt really good actually. Because you lose practice. Like you lose, you, you lose it if you don't do it. And once you're in the flow and like now I can, I can just feel that I'm back in it. I'll be, I'll get little prompts to go talk about something or I'll think about ideas that I could go just do a 2-second video on. But I think the second it, I make it complicated, that's when I, that's when I step back from it again. So if I start thinking, okay, I need to tell everybody I'm going to go on live at 4. I need to schedule this or I need to record it first and then I'll put like, it can get super noisy. And so my step 1 of coming out of my invisible period here is just to use Instagram story for now, which goes to my business Facebook story as well. And just let that be the starting point. Have I gone live in my Facebook group yet? No, not yet, but it's coming. Like I am. I'm coming, I'm trying to make a comeback and now I just did some listening to my clients and pulled in a bunch of data, which is just fuel for me to know what to talk about. It's like, okay, now I know what they're thinking. I think COVID has been so quiet as far as like being able to hear what is going on with my clients. So to be able to get that feedback from them, when I see their words, I'm just like, oh my gosh, I could talk about that. I could do a session on that. You know, it's just like fuel. Fueling me with ideas. So I think I was also feeling in that invisible period. Yeah. Un— uninspired.

If, if we don't, that's part of the reason why I named my podcast This Moved Me. Originally, the idea was to just get on and talk about what moves us because that is the, the, the heart of our ability to show up and move other people. Like we have to be fueled, we have to be inspired. If we want to turn around, do the same thing for other people. I still truly believe that. And so it is like, what's the pipeline of inspiration that you have that you can draw on to talk about? Because the most valuable thing that you can offer is your perspective. How do we get perspective? How do we get perspective? Like, we've got to be super in touch with our people.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Their lives. For reflection and clarity. Because when we're running around like crazy people, and I'm super guilty of this, then I don't have anything to offer. I was like, I feel like I'm supposed to show up and do a thing, but I, I've got nothing to offer you. And that, that's a, that's like a leadership problem, right?

Yep. So what I'm taking away right here in this moment is this whole idea of having the pipeline of inspiration so that you don't end up having to go dark. So are you collecting, and maybe it is something intentional where I'm actually keeping, keeping ideas in a place where it's like, these are all great talking points that I could do in a really short clip. I could do them in a reel, you know, even what we're doing right here and now, it's like, why don't I call someone and ask them to meet me online and chat about something?

I said a few other things. That I think are so important and I just wanna underline them for everybody. Okay. You talked about how one of the things that has helped you get over any resistance after you were kind of invisible for a while and you went dark, whatever, we have these seasons. Mm-hmm. Part of the way that you got over that hump and got back out front and got visible was focusing on your audience. Focusing on the people who need to hear what you have to say, who are looking for you, they're waiting for you, even if they don't know it yet. Like you have, as one of our fellow speakers, Kevin Jennings, says, is you have medicine for people, right? So if somebody was like needing medicine that you had, You wouldn't hold that back. Don't hold that back. They need that.

Mm-hmm.

Right? So that's the purpose-driven is, is a beautiful way to step out from those. Mm-hmm. I think that's important.

Which I, I think that's critically important, but it's also, I wouldn't say I don't wake up thinking like that. Like that's a lens. That has a whole, a whole bunch of other, like, you know, the whole, the whole, uh, imposter syndrome thing. Like, who do I think I am? You know, I have the medicine for these people, you know? I mean, that can get a little snobby, you know?

I just posted in the Facebook group, the Emerging Speaker Society Facebook group, we were talking about, like, I asked, what are the things that hold you back? And imposter syndrome was like, ree! That's the best. It's a, it's totally natural. It's totally a part of it. But if you can bring one person to mind, not like I'm gonna change the world, right? But if it's like, who is that one person that you can bring to mind and kind of place them on the other side of your camera, like in your mind, that's who I'm talking to.

Mm-hmm.

And it's just a conversation. Again, we're just trying to lower the bar a little bit and, and, you know, and yet pull, like, let that purpose lead the way. It's about your audience ultimately. It's not about you. It's about them. Okay. So that was the first thing you said that I was like, brilliant.

But it, but it feels, but it can feel very much though, like this is all about me. I gotta do all these things. It can be, you can switch that baby outta 2 seconds and make it really hard.

It's really easy to throw that at other people and it can feel like a vanity exercise. And we're like, I'm feeling up out front and here's my face. Like, I can't tell you, I showed up at baseball meeting last night and people were like, it's so fun to see you in person. I've been watching all your videos. And I'm like, oh my gosh.

Okay.

You know, it could feel a little like a little weird, but if you can, like we were talking about, just put one person. That needs your medicine behind the camera. It can help. Okay. So I thought that was absolutely on point. Um, I love how, but in terms of you're talking about like the pipeline of content for you, you come to clarity by writing. Like, here's the message that I'm feeling, like you're synthesizing the conversations you're having, noticing themes. And you write something and you're a beautiful writer. P.S., sign up for Tiff's newsletter. I love, I, I don't love feeding a lot of people, but I love people. They're so good. They really are.

Oh, good. Thank you for that, Shonda.

But you can take that theme and use it as you show up all week like that. You, you, once you write that, it's like, okay, this is what I'm talking about. This is it.

So how much, how much is enough? How much is too much? Like when you say all week, I'm like, crap, I gotta go do this every day. But, well, I know I don't have to do anything, but like if you're building a business, you're a speaker, you're trying to get speaking gigs, you're coaching, like you're doing all these things because there's things happening to me in conversation every day that I could, if you get, if I want to create way, like I could be like, Professing every day, but that might be overkill.

Confusing if you're doing too many varying themes or ideas. So I like to kind of pull people up to a high level and think about where you're trying to move people on their journey. So, so there's some intention to it, but also, yeah, it might be an of-the-moment thing that you really wanna say, like, Follow your instinct on it. There's really no hard and fast rules on this, but, you know, we don't want willy-nilly and we don't want so structured that you're afraid to veer from it. It's kind of the thing.

Yep. And I don't know if we've used the word yet, vulnerability, but I'm usually very willing to share my own, you know, dark spots or moments. And I think one of the things I'm gonna take away from this conversation is just to not forget to share my own growth so I can encourage a lot of growth and insight for others. But I'm over here doing the same thing. It's not like I get to be done. You're never done, you know? So I think that gets meaningful too, is when I can share my own vulnerability. Absolutely.

You know, you know, because the root of that story of whatever challenge you're facing is resonance for your, for your audience, whoever that is, that magical, magical recipe of connection. Yeah. Beautiful. Okay. Yep. One last thing you talked about. Well, you talked about, I've written down like 7 things, but one more thing I wanna point to, which is you talked about the hardest part is the starting. Because once you get in the swing of it, it's like, this is not that big of a deal. And you start to learn, you show up and you're, ah, I kind of fell on my face there, or I wasn't as clear as I wanted to be. And you realize none of these things are credibility killers the way we imagine them to be. None of, none of those moments are, um, destroying what you're trying to build. It's truly a practice that the more you do it, the better you get at it, the more comfortable you feel about it, and the easier it becomes. But that first one is the, is the tough. So like, it's the same thing as going to the gym.

If you decide to take a long pause. So my son called me yesterday and said, I'm so sore. I started, you know, getting back to the gym. And the reason I never stop doing my workouts, cuz I never wanna be back at the point where I have to start over and experience the pain and the discomfort of being new again. Mm-hmm. Well, it's the same thing with this, right? So I took this long and it's probably longer than what I, it's probably longer than 6 weeks. It's probably more like 6 months if I'm being real. But it's like going back to the gym. It's like you just gotta get back on the horse. You just gotta keep going and trying it and, you know, it might be uncomfortable and it might be a little. You know, not so smooth at the beginning, but to stay— stay— stay confident getting back at it. Right.

If you think about, okay, this is like me going to the gym. At first it, it feels like this big hurdle, like this big thing, like, uh, we're sort of forecasting into the future. This is gonna be hard. This is gonna be, um, uncomfortable. This is gonna like test me and challenge me. Like we'll kind of forecast those things into the future. If we can use the same strategies we use to get ourselves to the gym and apply them to being visible, I think that's a, a really helpful way to do this. So like finding accountability, finding a program or some structure, right? So you're not just like, I don't know what to do today. And then it just, right. That sort of looseness.

Right.

May not get you to where you want to go. So find accountability, find structure, and it's ultimately about discipline and commitment, which is not so fun to talk about, but that is how it goes. Yes. So I feel like that is a perfect setup for how I can help with that. So I am doing a I've got two options that will help with accountability, structure, and discipline. Okay. The first is a bingo sheet. Okay. And this bingo sheet just has lots of different ideas for how you can go live, right? Like how to show up and be visible. It's going to give you a prompt or a spark or one of those content moments. Okay. So you can get that at bmoove.com/bingo for bingo sheet.

Okay.

Simple, quick win. If you just need ideas and you're like, I'll do it, but I just, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. It's kind of a fun way of doing that. The second thing, if you want more handholding and you're like, I need more accountability, I need somebody to push me. It feels like a bigger ask for you. Then I would invite you to join the Be Visible Challenge, and that is a 7-day, one prompt every day, one simple challenge that you've gotta do by the end of the day. It should take less than 15 minutes, and it's just meant to build your consistency and your confidence in your ability to get out front. Because if you do those 7 days, by the end of the 7 days, you're past that initial hurdle. And you're making it happen. So if you want to do the challenge, that's at bemoved.com/bvisible. One word, be visible. And that, that will help. That will help. I love it too. I'm so glad you— you and I have worked together for a really long time.

We live down the street. We're best friends.

I love it. Tell people if they're curious and they're here and they haven't met you before, tell them obviously they can connect with you on your Instagram. That'll be very clear here, but also how else could they work with you or connect with you?

Yeah, TiffanyMaddock.com. So my full name, first and last with .com. And then there is an opportunity to set up a 30-minute call with me to talk. I work on things, everything from women's leadership development to career transformation. And just the opportunity to transform. So if you need, if you're looking for that kind of next place, whether it's at work, in your life, that's the work I do. And those are the products I have is to really help people shine and really come into that full, full expression of self. So be you is my big, it's my big thing. That's what I tell anybody every day. What does it mean to be you?

That is where our work sort of overlaps, cuz 'Cause if you really wanna move your audience, that's what you have to do. And you do it, you do such a beautiful job. And sweet stuff out front. I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

Okay. Thanks for being here.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.