334: 3 Things to Do When You Face Discomfort in Speaking

Hey movers, it's Sally Z with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're gonna talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving You. I wanna start with, on the show this week, we've been talking about trusting the process and let's just be real. The process is uncomfortable. The process is, can be brutal. It brings up every self-doubt that we have. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. It's all these kinds of things that nobody wants to willingly experience for themselves, but that is what it takes to get to the other side and show up in that big moment out front, really grounded in your authenticity and your voice and your experience. We put ourselves through the process because that's how we discover so many ahas and moments of clarity and our own perspective as a leader and an influencer and a mover. So we can't avoid the process. So I wanted to offer a few ideas besides just trusting the process and acknowledging that it's difficult. What can we do in those moments where we feel that deep sense of like, what am I doing? I don't belong here. What was I thinking? This sucks. It's horrible. I hear everything from people. I've heard them from you. Like, is this the worst thing ever? And maybe this is horrible and I suck and you suck and I hate you, Sally Koering Zimney. And like all of it. I hear all of it. I swear. And it doesn't bother me when I hear that stuff because I know that it's just a part of the process. But for those of you who face those moments and are like, it must mean something that I'm this uncomfortable or that it's this awkward, or that I am suddenly wondering if I know anything, that that means something. It doesn't actually, it's just a part of the process. So I wanna share with you 3 really simple things that you can do when you face that moment of discomfort that shows up in all kinds of different ways. Okay. The first thing that you can do is to own it, right? And just speak, speak what it is. Like, I'm afraid that this sucks. I'm afraid that I don't actually know what I'm talking about because I thought I did and I keep getting wrapped up in all these things and now I don't even know what I'm saying. Right? We've gotta just say it out loud. Yes? Are you with me? Have you been in that moment? That is first step, to own it. Own what is happening. Okay? Versus avoiding it and kind of plowing through it anyway. Like we just need to just take a moment and pause and own it. And we're not gonna, we're not gonna spend a lot of time in this space cuz it's not very productive. But what a lot of people do that isn't helpful is they kind of shove down all their fears about it. And instead of kind of bringing them up into the light so that we can swat 'em away a little bit more easily. All right, so we're gonna bring it up and be like, I'm afraid that this sucks. Then I say something like, okay, guess what? It doesn't. It's not there yet. We're just not there yet. It's part of the process. Don't worry about it. This— you're exactly where you need to be, but we have to have that conversation. Okay? So we own it. That's number one. Own the awkward. The second thing that I want you to do is I want you to take an intentional break. Okay? Which is different than like running away from it. I've had, I've had one client in my 20 years that got to this part in the process and she quit. She was like, ah, this is too hard. I don't believe that I can get there. And that part of that is a failing on my part, like that I didn't bring her self-belief along and help her understand that We'll get there. But yes, an intentional break for 24 hours. You're just gonna walk away from it. And we need that. Our brain needs that to have time to synthesize new ideas, to put things back together, to find connections, to make sense of things, and to get a clearer head on it. So we have to walk away and not not obsess over it and not kind of force our way through it. Okay. We will get through it, but you gotta give yourself a little bit of a break, but not too long. Okay. That's the difference between running away and saying, I'm gonna put this aside for 1 day or 2 days, and then I'll come back to it. And when you come back, which is step 3, you have to come back to it. You come back with new eyes and refreshed energy and new things come up. You might read through it again and say, actually, now I see I don't actually need that whole part. I was really obsessed over trying to make it work, and now I see, like, I can go from here to down here and it's gonna be better. I'll save that little bit for something else, like a different talk or a different experience, right? Okay, so we own it, we take a an intentional break, and then come back. And it sounds super, super simple, but what a lot of people do is they either ignore it and let those fears kind of fester inside. They, they attach meaning to it and then they don't come back to it and, and they, they kind of run away from it. Instead of acknowledging that it's part of the process and it's helping you get to where you need to go. If we don't have a bumpy process, yeah, I think we can sort of feel it in the result. Okay. Because we show up differently because we've been through something to get there, that we've pulled something a little more raw and real out in that final moment. Does that all make sense? My friends, so we're gonna own the awkward. We're gonna sit with the discomfort and not let it mean anything other than this is where we are in the process. We're at the hard part and we just keep showing up, take breaks when we need to, and let the ahas work their magic. They'll, they'll find us. We gotta trust the process. Okay. Thanks, friends. See you soon.