In this solo podcast episode, speaking coach Sally Koering Zimney explores the pervasive fear of rejection that speakers face. She frames rejection as an inevitable part of putting one’s voice and story out into the world and argues that embracing it is essential for authentic, impactful speaking. Sally shares a personal backstage theater anecdote that illustrates how personal stakes heighten the sting of rejection, and she recounts advice from a friend, John, who reminds her that a speaker’s job is simply to show up, speak the truth, and detach from audience reactions. She emphasizes that talks need “teeth”—they must be truthful and bold, even if that invites criticism—because diluted, overly‑moderated talks become mediocre. Throughout, she encourages listeners to join her email list, reflect on what moves them, and share their own experiences, positioning the conversation as both a personal reflection and a practical guide for speakers seeking courage and authenticity.
Chapters
Hey movers, it's Sally Koering Zimney with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're gonna talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving I'm so glad that you are here. We are gonna talk for a moment about rejection. Oh, that's a fun topic, isn't it? Rejection is not a fun topic typically. And I find myself as a speaking coach, we talk a lot about rejection, fear of rejection. What will people think of me? That worry that people, an audience is sitting there going, who do you think you are? Sometimes we ourselves think, who do I think I am to be doing this? The truth is we are risking rejection all the time, every day, as we put our face and our voice and our stories out into the world. It is just part of it. And so along with making friends with our fear, we're gonna very specifically make friends with rejection. So if you are not on my email list and you didn't see this story come through via email, let me know if you wanna make sure that you get in on these emails. In this week's email, I share a story with you about where my fear of rejection really comes from. We all, we all have a fear of rejection. We all do. Kind of human nature. We want to belong. We wanna be connected. And so it's part of what makes speaking a thing that we think only rare unicorns do. Their speaking is not just, it's not the special unicorn thing. Anybody can do it. It can be learned. But one of the things that we learn in the process of becoming a speaker, becoming a more skilled speaker, is we learn to trust ourselves. We learn to acknowledge that rejection is just a part of it and to let go of that. There was a moment when I used to do theater and I remember standing backstage of this show that we were about to do, and I was so kind of nervous about this show because we had created this show. It wasn't a script from somebody else. We had kind of collaboratively created it. There was kind of the lead writer, Alex, who was brilliant and amazing, but this show felt a little more personal. In other words, when we go out front and we do the show on stage, if they don't like it, it's gonna hurt a little bit more than you go out front and you do Shakespeare or you do, you know, a, a well-known screenwriter or playwright or whatever, as we're sharing. Stuff, if we can distance ourselves to some degree from that, not totally, of course, but to some degree. This felt very, very personal. And so we were standing backstage kind of getting ourselves pumped up. We'd done our warmups and we're all gathering around in a circle. And my very wise friend John said, okay, bring it in. Here's, here's what I wanna remind you all of. I want to remind you that our only job right now is to show up, speak the truth, and not get attached to the results. And I was like, ooh, but the results, that is why we are doing this. Are you kidding me, John? Like, part of the reason I like speaking and part of the reason I like is because I do it well and people tell me I do it well and it's feedback and affirmation and, uh, And he was like, it is not our job. We cannot control what other people think. We cannot control their reactions to this. Our job is to show up, speak the truth, and not get attached to the results. So that refrain goes through my head sometimes. Our job as speakers, if we wanna do it well, We're gonna walk headfirst into the possibility of rejection. Yay! That is truly just a part of this gift. As you become more public, as you become more out front, as you become more of a thought leader, as you build your authority, rejection is gonna come right along with you. There's that moment that we have sometimes where when Somebody puts a nasty comment on your video or a live or your post that you posted. Okay? That's a moment and it sucks. Rejection sucks. But it's also a sign that you are saying something true and real for you. We don't wanna be so moderated and mild, then it becomes mediocre, cuz that's what happens. I want, and I'm always telling my speakers, I want your talk to have teeth. I want it to bite a little bit, and not in a mean or disrespectful way, but in a truth-telling way. We want it to have teeth. And so if that is true, if you want to speak something that is real and that has teeth and that will make an impact and do something, and of course you do, then we also are going to bring rejection right along with us in that. So we're going to show up, we're going to speak the truth, and we are going to let go of the results. The story I told today is not the story that I shared in my email. The one I shared in my email, it's one of my all-time favorite stories. And it did really, it does really epitomize, that was the word I was looking for. It does really epitomize this tension that we feel as speakers, this feeling of, of course we're doing this because we want people to respond positively to it. We want, we want people to say, yes, I like that and more of that. And I loved it. And. We put ourselves out there in hopes of that. And if we lean too heavily into that, into that desire, into that wish and hope, we risk losing teeth. We risk losing our courage. We risk saying something real. And that's not worth it to me. And I know it's not worth it to you. Okay, friends. This moved me. I'm curious what is moving you. Let me know.
