340: How to Find a Story that Connects

Hey movers, it's Sally Z with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're going to talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving You. Today we are talking about how to figure out which story in your arsenal of stories will resonate and connect with your audience the most. So we've been talking a lot about stories and we are getting ready for the Story Impact. Oh my gosh, I just panicked for a second. I was like, is that what I'm calling my event? I spent the last several days writing about it. You'd think I would have it down cold, but no, that's not how the brain works. Yes. So the Story Impact event, which is October 6th, mark your calendars if you haven't yet. And I hope that you will come join us for that. But as we are getting ready for that, P.S., have you signed up yet? It's bmove.com. Sallykoeringzimney.com/storyimpact. So that's where I want you to come join us right here for this event on October 6th. It's gonna be super fun. It's just in the morning. It's free. It's virtual. And what we're gonna be doing is a deep dive around identifying the stories that will move your audience so that you can grow your impact. So we know that stories are important. We know that they're powerful, but they remain a mystery to a lot of people. And there's a reason for that. It's because we— they're about us as humans, and our own growth is reflected in our story adventure, our willingness to share stories, our own perspective about those stories. It is a growth process, and so Even when you think you're done, you're not done. Case in point, this past summer I got to go to a story deep dive experience with my coach and the mastermind that I belong in. And I kind of walked into it, I was like, I don't really need this. Like, I, this is what I do. I help people identify their stories. I've done all my story work. And I have to tell you, taking the time and the space to reflect, to ask bigger questions, to dig a little bit deeper revealed such good stuff. Stories and moments that I had forgotten about. I hadn't connected some dots that I was given the opportunity to, to do that. It was so, so powerful. And so even if right now you're like, I've done my story work, I wanna invite you to come participate in this event, the Story Impact event. I'm bringing in some awesome speakers to help enrich this conversation, to offer lots of perspective on how you can really leverage the power of story in your speaking so that when you step on stage, when you get out front, when you're on social media, when you're doing a podcast, you can lean into stories because they are so persuasively powerful. As we are getting ready for October 6th, we are today talking about resonance and connection because ultimately when people experience resonance, when they are sitting in the audience and they're hearing you tell a story, if we have found a story that resonates, that's when all the magic happens. That's absolutely necessary. If we don't create resonance, there isn't connection. There isn't, it doesn't turn on the persuasive power of stories. Stories are persuasive. They're beautiful, powerful. They do magical things all underneath the surface. But first we have to make sure that it resonates because if it doesn't resonate, we've missed the opportunity. Okay. So I wanna talk today about a few things that I think about that help me identify, is this story gonna work or isn't it? Okay. This is not like a 3-step process. These are 3 ideas that I have found helpful. For my own story discovery process, but also that I have used with my speakers over the last many, many years. So the first thing I would like you to remember as you're thinking about stories is that stories are first and foremost about empathy. Okay, so in order for our story to connect and to resonate, we really need to understand who it is we're talking to. So I'm talking something more than like your typical psychographic know your audience bit, right? We all know we need to know our audiences, audience, that like otherwise we're just monologuing and this is a, a solo experience and a navel-gazing exercise. Like, no, the whole point is that when we talk, we are connecting. With the people that we are talking to. So empathy. This is an exercise in empathy. So if you can walk into every moment with an open heart towards your audience, not just who are they, like age group, what are the things they read, what are the things that they're interested in, but let's ask ourselves some bigger deeper questions. Last week we were having a really fabulous conversation over in that group with Harris III and this Inner Circle group that I'm a part of about contextualizing our speaking. How do we essentially make it matter to the specific people that we're talking to? So I went through my sassy exercise. Have you Are you familiar? Do you guys all know about my S.A.S.S.I.E. framework? It stands for Speaker, Audience, Space, and Idea. It's a whole nother thing. I'm sure I have a podcast about it somewhere. Search online for it. You'll find it. But basically, the S.A.S.S.I.E. framework helps you empathize. It helps you get into the frame of mind where you're like, not just How can I write the best script, but how can I make this script matter to these people in this moment, given where we are right now, physically, but sort of metaphorically as well. And one of the things that we do in that is we spend some time thinking about audience in an empathetic exercise. Who are they? What are they struggling with right now? What are, what are, what's like the greatest concern to them right now? Because if we cannot make what we're talking about more important than their greatest concern, it's not going to reach them. That is our job. Is to know what that is and to be able to articulate what we're talking about in a way that taps into a need that they have. That's about empathy. One of the questions Harris suggested that I was like, ooh, that is great. I haven't heard that before in terms of how can we empathize with the audience is he likes to ask, his audience before he speaks or ask the organizer at the event, he likes to ask them, what, what is this group most afraid of right now? Ooh, that is a good one. That is a good one. I personally feel like that is like, write that down, take that with you. Okay. What is this group most afraid of right now? Because that is going to get to the heart. Of what's really going on with people, what their greatest concerns are, what they're struggling with. Okay? And that's typically how I've approached it in the past. I'm like, what are, what is this group struggling with right now? Well, what are they most afraid of? That gets to the heart of it even faster. So I want you to emotionally empathize with your audience. Now, of course, even within an audience, there's lots of different kinds of people, and not everybody is in one big glob. There's going to be differences across any audience, even a homogeneous one. But we can start to get a sense of generically where their understanding is, where the gaps are in their understanding, and how, how we as speakers can help bridge that gap so that there's resonance and connection. We wanna understand that going in. So we start with empathy. Have you taken some time to really feel their feelings? That's what empathy is. Empathy is, break it down, you know, and we're gonna like get all Latiny. Pathos is in the word empathy. Pathos is feeling. So we're going to feel with them. We're going to feel with them, step into their shoes and say, ah, yes, I recognize that feeling, that universal feeling. And when we can tap into the universality of another person's experience, We can bring that universality with us in our stories, and that's where we find connection. So empathy leads us to universality, which leads us to connection. Okay, not that they're all the same, but that in our heart of hearts, everybody's faced rejection sometimes. In our heart of hearts, everybody is afraid. In our heart of hearts, we've all failed from time to time. In our heart of hearts, we've all had our hearts broken. In our heart of hearts, we've all risked and felt dumb. Like, these universal human experiences that have nothing to do with the divisions that exist in our lives, like tapping into that helps you get into a place where you're walking in already connected. To them. And so your story cannot help, right, but, but be offered to them with that level of love and connection, and that's when they will feel resonance. So we really start with empathy. Then what we do is we look at what's called your moving message. So this is another approach to this. You just heard me talk about the Sassy Framework and really honing in on the empathetic connection with your audience. Another way of thinking about how to make sure that your message resonates is to think of, okay, am I hitting on a message that doesn't just serve my audience, but also P.S. Is going to hold up your business and make sure that it's a real reflection of you as well. Because sometimes we come in and, and we're so focused on, okay, I want to tell a story that will delight this audience, but it doesn't ultimately serve your audience. So ideally, it's not just about empathizing with them, but we're also putting it in the context of you and your business. Of what I call your purpose. Okay? Because your business is your purpose in action. So where do those three places meet? Where you, as a human being, not just you in your role, but you, your stories, your experiences, where does that meet with your audience, what they where they are at. So there's that empathy moment, but then we want to add in this little piece right here, your purpose, your business in action, where those 3 pieces meet right there. I call that your moving message. And if you have articulated that, right, if you can really understand and say, oh my gosh, the thing that I in particular am really good at. And that can bring based on my life, and it meets a need for my audience and it serves my business. That right there is a really powerful moving message. So if it is within that moving message, you can walk in and know, okay, if I'm clear about who my audience is and, and I'm able to serve them, this is the audience that I serve, your story will connect. Okay, so it's like a little check. Is this within my moving message? Is this something that I in particular can talk about and that's going to also uphold my business? That's going to serve these people in an empathetic way. If you could find that little magic place, that is really, really powerful. My third thing for you. Let's go back. We've got our empathy exercise. We can identify a moving message that will help keep you on track and make sure that what you're, what you're speaking about will resonate. But you can also do what I call now connecting your Ms. So this is another framework, the Simple Story Framework, 3 Ms: moment, meaning, move. You guys know this, right? I know you've already grabbed your Simple Story Framework. Moment, meaning, and move. When you put your— and connect your M's, in other words, you have a moment, you have a story that you want to share. If you can connect that moment to meaning in a way, right, so that your meaning highlights the story. Okay, those two pieces, when they are connected, your audience, right? What, because what you're doing is you're saying, I'm serving up this meaning to you, to you, beautiful audience. I'm serving it up to you. And I, it's not just about me. It's not just about my story, but I have taken the time now to say, what does my story have to do with you. That translation right there is where the magic is. Okay? Some people are just like, I'm just telling the story and I'm hoping, I'm just hoping that they take from it what is helpful. But you're leaving a lot up to chance when you do that. We really need to connect those ends. So it's not just about finding a story that has a universality to it that connects with with your audience, but then you have the job of articulating that connection. You get to translate this story for them. So Rob Bell, who is just a phenomenal speaker, I admire him so much. I think he's incredible. He talks about the power of what we do as speakers. We are translators. Of ideas, right? And so that's what you're doing. You are translating a story into something that is understandable, meaningful, that helps shape ideas, that helps shape understanding. It helps people see differently. That's what we get to do. So if you do not connect your Ms, your story is not gonna resonate. Okay, so it doesn't matter if it, if you have a powerful story that, that might move people, but they aren't necessarily going to take it to the next level of transformation that can happen when we translate our stories well. So any of these will help you make sure that your story is resonating and connected. We have to do some of all of this. We have to bring empathy into the moment. Okay? Empathy is required for us to do any of these. Empathy is required to really identify your moving message. You have to understand your audience. Okay? And empathy is required for you to connect your meaning to your audience, to take your story and make meaning out of it. You've got to have empathy, right? So that part is absolutely essential for all of this. These are all really exercises in empathy. There's little different frameworks for getting at it, and I hope, I hope this was helpful for you because To be, to be honest, the more you know your audience, the more you feel with them and that you empathize with them and you are connected to them in a really natural way, all of this becomes super easy because you'll know, you'll say, oh my gosh, yes. And I've heard enough stories from my audience to understand really where they're at. And chances are where they're at is where you have been at, because we tend to serve ourselves, but like an earlier version of ourselves. And that's true for a lot of us in here. A lot of people say, okay, Sally is where I would like to go, and she's maybe a little farther along in the process. And so I'm saying, Here's where I've gone. Here, here's where I've been, and here's where you can go as well. And the way I recognize my own stories that will connect and resonate is something inside me goes, hmm, I've been there. I've been there. But we want to use, make sure we're using a filter to make sure that when we show up and tell a story. It is truly in service to the audience, to an audience, whoever it is that you are there to serve. All right. I hope this is helpful for you as you are doing this work of showing up, speaking your stories, connecting with your audience in real powerful ways, sharing your voice. So that your expertise is not hidden anymore. People buy from people. You are the embodiment of your ideas and they want to hear them from your face. They want to hear them come out of your mouth and feel connected to not just the intellect of it, but also the being of it, the three-dimensional experience of you, which is why speaking is so, so powerful. All right, my friends, thank you for being here. We will be back next week. I will also be over the next month, along with doing our weekly Movers Live, I will be over on Instagram going live once a week over there as well. And that's less a training. Over on Instagram, I'll be doing some Instagram Live interviews with people, some of the speakers who you might see see at the event on the 6th and just some fun stuff over there. I'm going to be doing what I'm calling a moving moment, the speaker dance party. Just wasn't feeling it anymore, team. You might have noticed. I was like, yeah, I don't want to do that anymore. I personally love to dance to get into my body, but that doesn't work for everybody. But being in our bodies is so, so important. So I'm approaching that a little bit differently. We're gonna be doing these moving moments as just a way to like pause and get into our bodies. It's really good practice for me, and if it's a good practice for me, it's a good practice for you. So I'll be doing that Wednesdays on Instagram along with the Instagram Live will be Wednesdays as well. So be on the lookout for that stuff. Lots of fun things coming your way. If you haven't yet, let me just remind you to come join us. At theeventbemoved.com/storyimpact. It's free. It's a 4-hour event. It's going to be so much fun. And I promise that you will get just nuggets of wisdom out of this and will help you find the clarity and the courage to speak your story, whether that is on in the free stages or the biggest stages that you are dreaming about. Great. Thanks for being here, team. Talk soon. Bye-bye.