354: How to Partner Before You Pitch
21 Dec 2022 · 17 min
In this solo episode of the Be Moved podcast, host Sally Z explains why pitching without first establishing a partnership feels off‑putting and often backfires. She argues that speakers should shift from short‑term, transactional outreach to a long‑term, mutual‑benefit mindset. Sally outlines three practical ways to warm up a relationship before making a pitch: (1) engage authentically by commenting, connecting, and showing genuine interest in the other person’s work; (2) provide value first, such as sharing relevant articles or resources without asking for anything in return; and (3) attend events, conferences, or live sessions to become a familiar, trusted presence. Throughout, she stresses the importance of staying true to one’s personal brand and communication style, so that prospects see an authentic representation of the speaker. The episode concludes with a reminder that building a network of trust and authority is an ongoing process that ultimately leads to higher‑quality, more loyal opportunities, even if immediate results aren’t guaranteed.
Chapters
Hey movers, it's Sally Z with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're gonna talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving Hello everybody. How are you doing? I hope great. It is a beautiful snowy day here in Minnesota. We are talking today about how to partner before you pitch. And this might sound like a no duh thing, but let's just take a moment and think about the last time. You were pitched something before there was any partnership. It feels icky. It feels icky. I get pitches all the time for my podcast, and I don't know these people. Now, sometimes cold pitching is exactly how you get started. So there's a lot about this that is, is about the way in which you do this. But I want you to think about, as we are in this time of year, I want you to think about this as something that we are always doing. We, we sometimes think of like pitching, we go through seasons of pitching where it's like, I'm really focused on pitching right now. And you're sending out a ton of submissions or connections or requests, or you're just sending messages. Like we might go through those sprints. But truth be told, this is something we need to be doing at an ongoing basis. It is so, so important. So let's think about what doesn't work. Okay, when, when you have been pitched or what hasn't worked for you when you are pitching, I can tell you for myself. I know it's not good when I'm thinking of a person and I'm like, ooh, I think they might be great for this. Or a long time ago, I feel like they expressed some interest in something and I get into my DMs, like on Instagram or on LinkedIn, and I notice that there has been no back and forth conversation. Literally the last time I see, the last thing I see in that message is me pitching something. That is a huge red flag to me for myself, that I am not partnering before I'm pitching. Okay? My relationships with my audience cannot be dependent on whether or not they pay me money and whether or not They are a client of mine. So for yourself, I want you to think about that. What is the cost of engagement for you? Now, true, not everybody gets everything, right? Some, sometimes I show up here free every week. This is, to me, my service to all of you. Now, do I hope that eventually you might raise your hand and come join a program? Absolutely. Because I want you to trust me. I want you to know that I have expertise, that I understand where you're at. This is my way of partnering with you before I pitch. But when you get to the pitch moment, we wanna be really, we wanna make sure that we are not just focused on getting the thing that we want, but we are focused on a long-term relationship. So these are the big ideas I want you to be thinking about. And then I'm gonna share with you 3 ways that you can warm up your partnership before you pitch. This is all about partnership. It's really not about the pitching. It's about what happens before that. Okay? So I want you to keep a few things in mind. This is about long term. This is not about immediacy. This is not about turning something around really quickly because we can feel that, right? When somebody is reaching out to you and you're like, oh, they've got a webinar next week. I know why they're reaching out. It can feel really transactional versus long term thinking. And if we are really in long-term thinking, it's not about any one thing. It's about ongoing relationship, ongoing conversations, ongoing support. It's not just about this one thing. Okay? They say no to you or can't make a thing, your relationship doesn't suffer because of that. Does that make sense? So it's a long-term relationship. That's the first thing I want you to keep in mind. And secondly, partnership. Partnership connotes mutual benefit. Okay? It is not just a one-sided, you only show up when you need something, but you are there also offering something of value to all of them. All of them, whoever it is that you are pitching to. Okay. Now, before I Those make sense? Okay. Now, before I get into the hows, okay, I just want you to imagine a scenario. Okay. And we've, people have used this metaphor before when we talk about pitching. You think about this in terms of your website and anytime you are trying to get something from somebody, it's all about how warm that relationship is. So if you went on a first date and they asked you to marry you on the first date, you'd be like, you are insane. Buh-bye. It's a major red flag. Well, pitching without partnership can feel that way. There's a lot happening on LinkedIn DMs right now that is, can feel a little slimy, in my opinion. Eh. Not so into that, those folks are not partnering before they're pitching. We're gonna do things differently. We're gonna partner before we pitch. It doesn't have necessarily the most immediate results, necessarily. Sometimes it does, but it has longer term, higher quality, more engaged loyalty. And what you're doing when we are focused on the long-term and we're focused on mutual benefit, you are building your network more than you are getting an immediate yes. And that is more valuable. It's more valuable financially. It's more valuable for your community. It's more valuable for your business. Okay. So those are the big ideas. Long-term, we're long-term thinking, and we're thinking about mutual benefit. Okay, so some ideas for what it might look like to warm up that conversation so you're not the creepy person asking someone to marry you on the first date. We're really trying to just warm up that relationship. Here are some ideas for you as you're doing this. None of these are rocket science, but I want you to really check in with yourself. Are you doing? These things when you think about growing your network and pitching people. Okay. The first thing is, are you really truly engaged? Do you show up for them as much as you are asking for them as well? So tons of ways that you can do this. Comments on their posts on social media, connections to other people. Who might benefit from what they're doing, or who may have a connection for you. Noticing things, even when you reach out in conversation. Have you really listened to the show before you pitch to be on it? What did you notice about the guests? What did you appreciate? Offering affirmation. It's really, you have to take a little time. To engage and really warm up that relationship. Okay. It's very simple, but not a lot of people are really taking the time to do that. But if you're thinking about long-term engagement and the long-term ROI of somebody who's really invested in your, your speaking and say, oh my gosh, this person was amazing and I'm going to Not only am I going to bring her in and pay her a lot of money to do this, then I'm going to refer her because she, I have a sense of who she is. She showed up authentically. It's an authentic engagement from moment one. It's not just about the moment where you get what you need. Mutual benefit, long-term engagement. And we do that in the little things, the little ways that we engage. Okay. The second thing I want you to think about is how you can help them. Okay. So you may offer a, you know, an, I, let's say you came across an article. You're like, oh my gosh, this would be great for this group. Let's say you're a leadership speaker. And you're out and you're, you're working in corporate, you're speaking to corporate groups or corporate events, and it's around leadership. And you've noticed online because you've been engaging, you notice that there is a topic of conversation happening with this group that you would really like to speak at. Let's say you come across an article that speaks to that. Wow. Wouldn't it? Be a really cool thing to say, hey, I just read this article. It made me think of the conversation that you're having over there. I thought this might be helpful for you. Hope it is. Hope you're having a great day. And so appreciate everything that you're doing. You're not asking for anything in that moment. You are being of value and helpful for them in a relevant way, and you're not getting anything out of that, but you are showing yourself to be engaged in what they're doing, topically relevant, trustworthy, right? Resourceful, helpful, all these things that we're like, hmm. So the next time that they're going, I need a speaker on so-and-so, and I remember I had this great connection. With blah, blah, blah, I might reach out to her. Okay, so it all helps to build this network of authority and trust, and it warms up that relationship. So how can you be of more help to the people and the places that you want to connect with? Let's say that there's a big conference that you would really like to speak at. Before you send in your big keynote pitch, what are the ways that you can be of help to them or engage? Are you following them on social? Are you commenting? Are you in conversation? Are you in showing up when they do their lives? Like, make yourself known. Which really brings us to this last one. Which has been the most powerful tool that I have had to warm up relationships. And that is to just attend things, to be live and in person, to experience your energy, your ideas, the way in which you communicate and connect. All of that brings the idea of you to life. To life and it will shorten the length of your on-ramp as you're thinking about your sales process. So as you're thinking about 2023 and the conferences you'd like to speak at, is there a way that you can attend, right? To be there, to be a part of the community. Is there a way that you can offer help? And be of service without asking for anything in return yet? Is there a way— the simplest things that you can do is to engage in what they're doing, to pay attention, to take a little time, to take a moment to reach out and comment and let them know what you appreciate. What that does is it just brings you to the front of their mind. It builds trust. And connection, and it warms up that relationship so that when you get to the time and space where it's right, where you understand a little bit more about who they are, maybe what they're struggling with and how you specifically can help, it makes that so much easier. You've warmed up that relationship in a beautiful, powerful way. Way. Doesn't guarantee anything, but I can't tell you how many times where I've been focused on like, okay, that's a relationship I want to develop. I want to build my network in this arena. And there's all these other benefits that come out of me attending, helping, and engaging. So we go in with one goal that we want to get out of it, and you might get something else. Out of that as well, because when you're engaging, when you're helping, when you're attending, it's not just about that one person. It's typically in community, or you're connecting two people together, right? So, uh, I hope this is helpful for you. And as we leave, I just want to make sure that the way in which you do this is the key. And what that means is that my ideas and how I, how I do things might be super different than how you do them. And that's okay. It, we want the experience of you to be authentically on brand, okay? Because especially as speakers. Any experience they have with you is how they imagine you being on stage. And so the way in which you engage and reach out, your language, the casual nature of it, the conversational nature of it, that gives us a sense of who you are. If you're super formal in these moments, but you're not a formal person, it— they're gonna not get a sense really of who you are and maybe misunderstand even what you offer. But if you can show up fully as you in these moments, that helps them know you, trust you, like you, or not, which is okay too. They're like, this is not our person. Great. And you can focus on other people. And those people who really need what you have to offer. So bring yourself authentically into these relationships. It's mutual benefit. It's long-term relationship and network building. That is the work of building a speaking business. We think it's like, oh, if I get this right and that right and that right, then da da dum. That's how it'll happen. But the truth is there's this ongoing work of building the web of connections and network and engagement so that you can be seen as an authority, a resource, a go-to expert, someone they can trust to hand over their audience to you. Love it. Love it. Okay. I hope that was helpful, friends. Thank you so much for being here. See you soon. Bye-bye.
