367: Speaking Story Chapter 7 - Yes, You Have A Story To Speak

This me post— I don't even know. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the free audiobook version of Speaking Story by Sally Zimney, which happens to be me. So as you know, we are rolling right on through this book episode by episode, chapter by chapter, and every week we drop another part of the book. So we are in part 1 of this speaking story adventure. And next week, or if you're listening to this a little later and you're rolling down the line of episodes, you will— part 2 will come out, and all of those episodes will be out next week. It's really fun. And it is— what's so special about this is, yes, you can get the ad-free version over on Audible anytime that you want, uh, for a small fee, Or you can follow me through with this free version here on the podcast feed and over on YouTube for free with a little added context. I get to add just a little introduction to each chapter. And I— this is a really important chapter to me because I hear this all the time. This idea of, "Yeah, yeah, I know story's important, but I don't live a story-worthy life. My life isn't just that interesting. I don't have a story to tell." That question, "Do I have a story that anybody will care about?" It is so central to the hesitation and the resistance and the delays in stepping into your role as a speaker or a presenter that speaks your story. And I just find it to be complete BS. It is a human fear. I totally get it. I have the same thing. Like, who cares? I live a pretty regular, normal life. Who cares? I think we're selling our own leadership perspective short when we say that. Funny story, a friend of mine, dear, dear friend of mine, was reading the book. And what's so fun about it, she doesn't really know this life, you know, like the entrepreneurial life and the— I've known her since I was 11, you know? So in her mind and my mind, we're just like, college roommates and goofy friends who've known each other forever. And, you know, knowing each other's professional life is not always center, you know? That's not— we talk about it a little bit, but that's not why we are friends or why we're connected. So it meant so much to me that she was reading the book, and she would just send me these little notes as she's reading it. And she said when she turned to chapter 7, and let's see the first line, I'm gonna just open it up. It says that the title of chapter 7, "Yes, You Have a Story to Speak." She was like, "Sally, you literally responded to what I was thinking in my head." "Which is, 'Yeah, but I don't have a story.'" And she turns the page and it says, "Yes, you have a story to speak." And that meant a lot to me. And she said, like, she presents for work, she travels to conferences and is out sharing her own insights and expertise in her work. And she says, I've been thinking about you. You're in my head. I know I need to start with the story. And it doesn't mean that she doesn't have that question from time to time, like, "Do I really? Should I really?" There's a lot of fear around whether or not we should even use stories, even though there's a gazillion reasons that I can give you about why, how to make our ideas more valuable and meaningful. But there's understandable fear around it. So if you are feeling that, if you're feeling any resistance, if you're like, "Well, but I wouldn't hear, I don't want to waste people's time," or, "I don't want to blah blah blah blah blah blah." Okay? There's a lot of reasons why not to. I just want you to spend this time stepping into your role as speaker and storyteller and getting through that resistance. And instead of looking for reasons why not to do it, I want you to start looking for reasons why you can, because I'm here to tell you with full conviction that it is never true that you do not have a story to tell. And if you're thinking that right now, this chapter is for you. Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world. With me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. This complimentary episode of the Speaking Story audiobook is brought to you in part by the Movers Collective. If you are listening to a book about speaking stories, I have a feeling You already know that you have a message worth sharing. Maybe you've been on a stage or two. Maybe it's still just a dream kind of sitting in your chest waiting. Either way, I want you to know that there's a real path from where you are right now to a speaking career that actually pays, one that fits your life, your message, and the change that you wanna make in the world. That path starts with 2 free resources I wanna give you. The first is the Movers Roadmap. This is a clear-eyed look at what it actually takes to build a career as a professional speaker. The second is an audio series that I recorded live, and this developed with my own clients, and it's called the Power Pitching Push. And in this series, I walk you through exactly how to pitch yourself as a speaker so that you can get some gigs. You will get a real taste of what it's like to work with me. Both are free. Go grab them and figure out your sally-z.com/path. sally-z.com/path. Www.moverspath.com. And when you're ready to go all in, The Movers Collective is where we can take you from talented to professional. All right, now let's get into the show. Chapter 7. Yes. You have a story to speak. If you were sitting in the fundraising event I spoke about during the introduction, it'd be really easy to write off that powerful story moment as only something that that speaker could do. Clearly, he had some experience and he was quite skilled. He knew what he was doing. And that's exactly what most people think. Well, they can do it because they're a speaker. I'm just a facilitator. I speak every once in a while or just when I have to. They can do that because they have a natural gift and capability. I'm not good at speaking. I'm an introvert. I'm not a performer. I'm not fill in the blank. They can do that because they have led an interesting life. My life has been boring. In other words, most people, including most of the people I work with, believe that those moments and the capability to move your audience with a story are only for those rare, special, elite-level speakers, not for the average person who's just trying to figure out how to get through the day. Will you believe me when I tell you that's simply not true? It's not. You do have stories to share, even if you think your life is boring. Your voice matters. You don't need any special qualifications to share a needed story. In fact, the people you are trying to influence are hungry for you to share your stories. Sure, there are skills and approaches you can learn that will help. You've got this book, so you've already got a fantastic start. And yes, some people have a natural inclination towards speaking.. But the skill, the captivating story, the capability to create a moment with your audience, whoever they may be, no matter how big or small that group is, it can be learned. You can become a powerful storyteller. Let me tell you about Dave. Dave was one of the very first speakers I coached way back when I was in my mid-20s. We both worked at the nonprofit organization where we got to go speak to teenagers in schools about big ideas like kindness, Courage and Respect. It was a dream job for me, and because I came into the job with some experience already as a coach and speaker, I got tapped early on to not just speak but also coach the other speakers in the organization. Dave was maybe the best youth worker I've ever had the privilege of working alongside. He's incredibly compassionate, generous, intuitive, and loving. He was a gifted teacher who had wanted a break from the classroom and was recruited into this motivational speaker type role. It didn't come naturally to him. He loved long-term relationships with his students. He wanted to know their stories, learn about their families, and walk with them in their struggles and development. The events we delivered were day-long experiences, so we didn't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with the kids we were speaking with because We were only there for a few hours and then never saw them again. To make our experiences work, we had to know how to show up, build rapport and resonance quickly. We didn't have time to build a deep relationship, so stories were the most effective and powerful tool we had, if we could tell them well. All of this set Dave up to be an incredible classroom teacher but not necessarily a dynamic and effective motivational youth speaker. He wasn't naturally funny. He didn't understand comedic timing or stage dynamics well. He had powerful stories, but he didn't know how to tell them in a way that quickly engaged a large audience or kept them interested in topics that cause most teenagers to roll their eyes. Dave and I traveled and spoke a lot together. Typically, I would give one talk and he would give the other, and afterward we would give each other feedback. Let me say this: it takes courage to show up and do something you don't feel especially confident about in front of 150+ teenagers who let you know when you're not really making the cut. And yet, there Dave was, showing up every day in front of harsh critics who didn't know him at all, trying to win them over and keep them engaged when they had no reason to care. There is nothing like speaking to teenagers to quickly teach you the ropes. You have a rough showing one day, stumbling and tripping over the stories or not landing the point very well, and you still have to get up and do the same thing the next day. Work like this is like getting a masterclass in storytelling and speaking because every day you get to refine and learn and try again. If you can manage to refine and learn and try again, if you are open to learning and working hard, if you pay attention and adjust, if you do that, you can get better fast. And that's exactly what Dave did. He and I would bring our heads together after each event and talk about tweaks he and I could make and ideas for how we could make that story and talk flow better. He experimented, and he consistently asked me for advice and ideas. I'd see him pacing the hallways before each talk going over the changes. Dave knew the power and potential of this art form, even if he didn't feel confident about it yet. He wanted to be excellent at it. On day 1 of our work together, I had pegged Dave as an awesome youth worker but not a speaker. However, I will never forget the moment when I finally thought, "Wow. Dave is a speaker." I was standing in the back of the room, and Dave launched into this powerful story about a student from one of his classes who'd been struggling with self-respect. He dropped into his body and into the present moment. He gave the big moment space to breathe so that everyone in the room could be drawn into it as well. He was authentic, comfortable, and present. It was powerful. I almost burst into tears. Dave showed up bravely every day and asked for my feedback nearly as often. He took that feedback to heart, working on the little and big things, and he got better at speaking. If you have the heart for your message and the willingness to take risks and to try and improve, You will get there, and it might not take the blood, sweat, and tears Dave had to shed to get there. Know this: there are #nospecialunicorns in speaking and storytelling. You, as you are right now, are enough to show up and speak your story, and you can cultivate the tools to do it well. Now that we understand the core foundations of story and why they're so critical for our leadership and impact, We need to do a few things. We need to become a version of you who tells stories, part 2, find the stories to tell that will move your audience, part 3, craft a story, part 4, learn from other speakers to help you find your approach, part 5, and tell your stories well, part 6, which is exactly what we'll do in this book. So, are you ready? That's the end of this chapter of Speaking Story. If you want to keep listening ad-free, you can find the full audiobook on Audible or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube. And if this chapter stirred something in you, if it, shall we say, moved you, let me suggest that you start with the Unspeaker Simple Storytelling Audio Mini Course. At Sally-Koering Zimney.com/unspeaker. All right, movers. This moved me. What is moving you? See you next time.