381: Speaking Story Chapter 21 - Characteristics of a Good Story

I think I might have just broken ClickUp. Oh my gosh. Whoop whoop, team! Okay, now we're getting to some good stuff. I have been promising that we're not just going to talk ideas, but we're going to start getting to strategies and tactics and like, how do I actually do this, Sally? So as promised, you're going to get some of that. In this chapter and even more as we keep moving forward. Chapter 23 is really where we're gonna dive in, but here we are at chapter 21. And in this chapter, hi, welcome. P.S. pause. Take a step back, Sally. A little bit of context. Here we are. You are in the middle of hopefully moving through the whole book of Speaking Story, a book that I wrote. My name is Sally Koering Zimney, and a few years ago I published Speaking Story with amazing publishers here in the Twin Cities called Wise Ink. And this audiobook version took me a few years to get out the door, but here we are. And part of the reason it took me so long to get out the door is I really wanted to do something with it. I didn't just wanna be like, oh, P.S., it's over on Audible. You can get it if you want it. 'Cause I don't know. Great. If that's helpful, fantastic. You, p.s., it's over on Audible. You can go grab it if you want. But it was so important to me that nothing hold you back, that I get this in your hands because for whatever reason, speaking and storytelling is one of those things that, I mean, I feel like it's my life's work. To pull people into the metaphorical spotlight and to say, "Your voice matters. You can do this. We need you. Yes, at work, you can have the microphone, and there is a role that you have to play. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this." And even for people who do this for a living, who get paid money have resistance to their own storytelling and doing it in a way that feels real and vulnerable. And so wherever you're at on that spectrum, whether you're somebody who knows you need to step into this space more, or there's some opportunities knocking on your door, or you do this for a living and you're like, "There is more that I need to dig into here," You're here. You're here. And I just don't want anything holding anybody back. So it's free for that reason. Here, have it, share it. Ah, yeah. If I could walk around and just like, I should probably do that. It was like, if I could walk around and just hand everybody a QR code and say, here, go listen to this. This is it. And I should do that. Gosh, that's a great idea. Somebody write that down and then remind me. Text me later about it because I'll forget. Oh my gosh. And so we've been rolling through the book. We're on part 4, which is really about how to bring this to life. And now we're on chapter 21. And chapter 21 is about the characteristics of a good story. So a lot of people say like, what makes a good story? Well, I mean, it's a pretty subjective question and the answers I give might be different than the answers you would give. But I give some answers to this in the book, but there's some bits in here that I just wanna point your mind towards so that when you're listening to this, you listen for this. And there are two like magical things that people can do when they're telling a story that will absolutely turn on all of the brain science that we've been talking about. So if you're like, I missed the chapter on brain science, go back. I don't know, a few episodes, you can hear that. But just know stories are magical. They are magical, and they can turn on all kinds of stuff in our brain that brings us closer to our audience, that helps them feel what we're saying, and they will not be persuaded about something until they feel it. So it's part of the reason why stories are so essential to us as we persuade people about an idea. And persuasion is not a bad word. It's not a naughty thing. It's different than manipulation. Persuasion is about just perspective shaping and opening people's minds to a new idea. So right at the end of this chapter is it, is 2 simple strategies that make your story come alive, that makes them really come alive in the moment. I'm like literally jumping up and down as we're talking about this. So, These two things are gonna sound so dumb and so simple, but I promise you, if you just do either one of these, it makes all the difference in turning on the brain science and the magic of storytelling. So I can't wait. Yay. Are you ready? Let's do this. Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world with me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. This complimentary episode of the Speaking Story audiobook is brought to you in part by the Movers Collective. If you are listening to a book about speaking stories, I have a feeling you already know that you have a message worth sharing. Maybe you've been on a stage or two. Maybe it's still just a dream, kind of sitting in your chest waiting. Either way, I want you to know that there's a real path from where you are right now to a speaking career that actually pays, one that fits your life, your message, and the change that you want to make in the world. That path starts with two free resources I want to give you. The first is the Movers Roadmap. This is a clear-eyed look at what it It actually takes to build a career as a professional speaker. The second is an audio series that I recorded live, uh, and this developed with my own clients, and it's called The Power Pitching Push. And in this series, I walk you through exactly how to pitch yourself as a speaker so that you can get some gigs. You will get a real taste of what it's like to work with me. Both are free. Go grab them. Sally-z.com/path. Sally-z.com/path. And when you're ready to go all in, The Movers Collective is where we can take you from talented to professional. All right, now let's get into the show. Chapter 21: Characteristics of a Good Story. "Storytelling isn't talking about something, it is something." Sally Koering Zimney. That's me. What makes a good story? That's a great question. And a subjective one. So I'm gonna narrow our focus to 5 characteristics. If we brainstorm together, I'm sure we could come up with way more than 5, and we might even debate some of these, but I wanna offer these 5 for you right now. Characteristic number 1: Stories exist in one specific moment. Specificity is critical in good storytelling. In other words, a good story is not a generic summary. When we enter into one specific moment, it helps the audience see the scene play out in their heads, which ignites the powerful mirror neurons in the brain. When I shared my scuba diving story, my hope was that you would see it happening in your brain. Building that visual imagery from the specific details makes imagining it so much more possible. When we do this, it ignites the mirror neurons in the brain and creates what I call an imaginative connection. The moment when an audience member starts to see your story in their head, that is connection, and this will make it much more likely that your audience will remember your story and the point you're working so hard to make clear. There are a lot of really interesting studies about the brain, memory, and story because story is so brain-friendly. It sparks all kinds of different and powerful activity in the brain. I am not a neuroscientist, but I interviewed neuroscientist Carmen Simon on my This Moved Me podcast, and she had some powerful advice on how to make our talks more memorable. The stories you remember are in visual images so that your visual imagination comes alive through the specifics in one moment. That connection is the basis for a personal relationship with the audience. For instance, if I talk about being a first grader chasing my friend Matt around the playground, stomping through the crunchy pebbles, throwing myself on the tire swing, and scrambling up the slide, all the while, Miss Judy was blowing her whistle at us to slow down. What do you see in your head? My guess is you're seeing your elementary school playground. Maybe you're hearing how the pebbles sounded underneath your feet. Maybe you're even imagining an adult who might have been in your life at that time blowing their whistle. When we put the story into one specific moment and we bring that moment to life with lots of specific details, That story is co-created with the audience. It makes the story come alive. Characteristic number 2: Great stories create connection, and perfection kills that connection. "The more specific you are, the more relatable you are." Janine Garofalo. If you're familiar with my podcast, This Moved Me, you know I talk a lot about connection. Connection is the way we move our audiences, and connection is only possible when we can show up fully as our imperfect, authentic selves. From an audience perspective, authenticity feels like, "I see you. I know you. I have a sense of who you are, and your human experience connects to my human experience." When we create that authentic connection, human to human, we can break through the apathy that sometimes exists between speaker and audience. Take, for example, Robert Kelly, a professor and expert on North Korea. He was being interviewed for the BBC, which was an objectively big moment for him or anyone. In the middle of this big interview, his daughter comes stomping into the room. The joys of working from home. And this moment was pre-pandemic. Now we all live in this reality way more than when this happened to poor Robert. To watch this amazing scene in action, check out the video in the Speaking Story Toolkit at speakingstory.com or just Google Robert Kelly. Watching your kids stomp their way into your very credible and serious BBC moment could be a career-ending moment. Instead, Robert's daughter Taking the spotlight for a moment turned this expert, who we might admire and appreciate intellectually, into this fully dimensional person who has a daughter and whose daughter doesn't always follow the rules but is highly entertaining and oh-so relatable. There's a life behind this expert. All of a sudden, Robert became a human being. I would never have cared a moment about that interview. But now I care about Robert Kelly and his precocious toddler who stomped her way into this serious credibility-building high-stakes moment and won our hearts. And I love how the world responded. It was another example that shows how even above admiration, we want to be connected. We want to be humans to one another. If you are wondering about the impact this toddler moment had on Robert Kelly's career, he wondered the same thing. In an interview with The Guardian about a year after his fateful foible, he said, "We both"—he and his wife—"assumed that was the end of my career as a talking head. I thought I'd blown it in front of the whole world." I can only imagine. I feel that way sometimes when my dog barks in the middle of a Facebook Live for 12 people. And yet the interview requests kept coming. Even more importantly, The requests came with excitement and good-natured reminders from the segment producer for him to lock his door. They wanted to hear from the expert with the very real life behind the brain. I can tell you that when I think of an expert on North Korea, I think of Robert Kelly. And did I even know of an expert on North Korea before this? I did not. Your credibility isn't built on perfection. It's built on connection. Our real human selves create that connection. Plus, it makes for a much better, more memorable story. So remember that your mistakes, your humanness, are what connect us. Characteristic number 3: Great stories are crafted. Great stories don't happen by winging it. When you watch the masterful storytellers and they seem to be so in the moment, it's because they have practiced it so much that they can be fully present and not because they are creating in the moment. Real authenticity and that wonderful present feeling of being ourselves fully in the moment don't happen easily or automatically. They happen with practice. The masterful storytellers have crafted their stories. We need to do the same thing. This means taking the time to think intentionally about where you're going with that story, and where you're taking the audience. It means being disciplined in your approach and thoughtfully editing your content. We want to intentionally create moments, levels, and powerful points. We craft—we don't just write—and then we open up and go for it in the moment. When I worked at the youth organization, we would spend years crafting a story in Ed's talk. Most of us don't have that kind of luxury or that kind of time, but you could and you can. What it allowed me to do is get into the nuances of every moment of my and my speakers' stories and how to craft and create those experiences. It's probably overkill for most of us, but it was our job, so that's what we did. Lucky us. It was a masterclass in storytelling technique and strategy. Most of us undercraft our stories and underappreciate the powerful role of editing. Editing is a discipline. It allows us to hone our voice and intentionally create an experience for our audience members. Our stories can take people on a journey if we are intentional about the journey we're taking them on. Characteristic number 4. Great stories are relived in the moment. Have you ever experienced a story where it felt like it was happening in front of you and you could see the scene? Whenever I think about this question, I think back to one of the most watched TED Talks of all time, Jill Bolte Taylor's My Stroke of Insight, which is about living through and observing her own stroke as a neuroscientist who studies strokes. Watching her relive that moment step by step on stage is incredibly moving. Even though I watched that talk over a decade ago, I can visually remember certain moments from that experience. I wasn't even in the room, but it almost feels like I was. Maybe you've experienced a moment like that as an audience member before. You saw the person who is retelling the story experience it again in some small way. Not so much that you start to worry about the person, but they manage to put themselves back into the moment enough that it feels real. When we as speakers can bring the moment alive and it feels almost as if it is happening in front of us, it fast-tracks the imaginative connection. It sparks pathos. If you as the speaker feel it, That helps the audience feel it too. You can't expect them to feel excited about something if you can't feel excited about it either. When you relive the experience, even in some small way as a speaker, it turns on the brain's storytelling superjuice. It creates empathy, pathos, mirroring, and resonance. Let's pause for a pro tip, because as with all things, be thoughtful about your boundaries. The world doesn't automatically get access to all of your pain and every moment of your life. Each context and audience deserves a different level from you. Consider your own sense of safety as your top priority, then determine what level of reliving you can bring into the moment. As Brené Brown once said, "We share from our scars, not our scabs." But when you have gotten to a place of scars and you as a speaker can live in that moment together with your audience, It can be transformative for both you and the audience when you share it. 2 simple strategies to make your story come alive in the moment. One of the fastest ways you can create emotion and make the story feel like it's happening in the moment is to number 1, use dialogue. Dialogue is a powerful way to help your story come to life. It is like a superhighway to empathy, to specificity, to reliving the moment. Into emotion, and it doesn't take much. One line of dialogue can bring a story to life and shift it from abstract to alive. The second strategy to help a story come alive is to use the present tense instead of the past tense. This simple shift helps the story feel as if it's happening now versus a retelling of something that happened in the past. When you slip into present tense in the middle of your story, it's magic. All of a sudden, it's like it's really happening right there in front of you. The fifth characteristic for great stories is to reveal the harm. What I mean by this is, what's at stake in the story? Great stories create drama. Sometimes people don't want to think about it in the negative, so if you'd prefer, make it about the positive possibility. Why does this matter? If what's at stake or why it matters isn't in your story, the story will lack a sense of engagement. I once heard Nick Morgan from Public Words speak, and he said something that articulates this well. He said that if our audience doesn't learn within the first moments why this is more important than their current greatest worry, they will not be fully with us. This makes sense. We have a limited supply of energy and attention to give, and as busy humans, there are only so many things we can what we worry about and give our attention to. So if you can't reveal the harm and what's truly at stake in your story, you will lose the attention of your audience. This is where the meaning part of your story comes into play. And truth be told, all of those other characteristics won't matter if you haven't created and revealed the harm. That's the end of this chapter of Speaking Story. If you want to keep listening ad-free, you can find the full audiobook on Audible or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube. And if this chapter stirred something in you, if it, shall we say, moved you, let me suggest that you start with the Unspeaker Simple Storytelling Audio Mini Course at sally-zimney.com. Www.moving.com/unspeaker. All right, Movers. This moved me. What is moving you? See you next time.