STOP WEAPONIZING ME!!

Hello, you absolutely amazing person you today. I have a question for you, a simple question. I just want you to pay attention to the first thing that pops into your head. So the question is, when I say the word healing, what do you think of now? For many, they're going to think of a smudging ceremony or they're going to think of a sweat lodge, or they're going to think of going to church, or they're going to think of sitting with an elder. They're going to think of the things we do to heal and all of those are beautiful and amazing and thank Creator they exist. But I want you to think of someone actually going through a healing process now. Because if there's one thing I have learned in my years of doing this work, of trying to empower and remind indigenous people of the strength of our teachings, of our resilience, of our beauty, of our the seven grandfather teachings and how incredibly valuable they are. If there's one thing I've learned through all the years of doing that is healing is ugly to the people watching it. And we have to remember that and not become a stick. Let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And today I want to talk about healing or more what we have to be careful not to do. So as a little background, a little context here for those who have followed my work for any length of time, you know that I have said on many stages in many videos to many audiences that non indigenous people cannot and should not use the success of some Indigenous people to be the stick they beat the less fortunate Indigenous people with. Do not use our success against our own. And I hear it. I hear it all the time. Well, if you got out, why can't they? If you found a way past, why can't they? That's what I'm talking about when I say that they weaponize us against our own, using our hard fought for success against those that haven't made it out yet. And that is heartbreaking. That is not why we fought to get out. That is not why we enjoy our success. And yes, I can only speak for me, but I was so fortunate to have so many amazing elders in my world, including my mother, to have been raised to know that the textbooks in the school, I was not the target market for them. They were not speaking to me. But that didn't mean I couldn't learn from Them as I, if I always remembered the phrase I always use is to translate it, to apply it to an Indigenous reality, not to dismiss it, not to find it suspicious. Take what you need, leave the rest. As my mom would say, what I want to do today is attempt to balance the feather like always. And yes, I have notes on my screen. That's why I'm glancing off into the distance. I am totally focused and committed to you. I'm not daydreaming. So first and foremost, I want to speak to fellow successful indigenous people, whether they're it's professional success, academic success, or often both. And what breaks my heart, and we're going to use social media as an example. When I see these people that yes, they worked hard, yes they faced barriers, I guarantee they faced judgment and racism, but Creator had gifted them the resilience and the determination and they made it out. And nothing breaks my heart more than to see them post on social media their criticism of their community or their fellow Indigenous people or their leadership. That's colonization. That's assimilation. That's lateral violence. Are you really proud of the fact that all your education taught you to judge your own? The residential schools taught us that. Every piece of legislation taught us that you didn't need all those years of education. What are you doing? What I want you to do is make sure you don't judge, make sure you don't condemn. You need to decolonize that bs. You got to understand what colonialism and racism and oppression does to Indigenous people. The violence, natural human reaction, the acquiescence, the complete and total giving up, that's a natural human reaction to oppression, well studied by mainstream. And then there's nonviolent resistance, people like you and I who fought and got out. But you know what? We got to love the others back. We got to pay forward to payback. We have to open the door and hold it open for the people that come next. We don't slam it shut and judge them so that we can be more accepted by mainstream. Because guess what? If you're doing that, if you're judging your own, condemning your own, happy that you fit in now with mainstream, then I want you to take all of those blog posts and all those speeches you wrote about decolonization and file them away somewhere because your behavior is proving you're still colonized. Because all Canada ever wanted us to do was judge and condemn our own so we'd self destruct. And I'm sorry, I'm not playing along. I am so fortunate and so lucky to have Enjoyed the success. I know it's been a long, beautiful career. And I've made a career of paying forward to pay back. It's humility teaching. It's our own teaching. We got out. That doesn't make us better. That means we now carry the responsibility to help others do same. So don't you dare judge those who didn't. And there's a few of you that are so colonized that you're now at the point that you worship mainstream education more than traditional teachings and our forms of education. I'm not saying mainstream education doesn't have value. I'm saying they're equal. Don't forget who you are because, well, then the assimilation is complete, right? Yeah. So that's for the successful Indigenous. That goes the same for the non indigenous. Be careful what or who you're judging. Right. Judgment burns bridges. Humility builds them. You know what is missing in so many conversations? Why that person has completely and totally given up on life. Why that person is really hesitant to apply for that job. Why that person never speaks up even when something is bothering them. Why? And if your answer is some horrible negative judgment, they're lazy. They're not. They just want us to feel sorry for them. They're playing the victim card. They're playing the race card. They're pulling their status card. They're. Then you're the problem because you're not interested in understanding. You're interested in judging. And that's the bridge burning that we've been dealing with since the settlers got here. So don't judge us for what healing looks like. Healing is emotional. Healing is 10 steps forward and 15 back on some days. It is frustrating. It is heartbreaking. I know I have to be really careful who I hang around with because the people I get to work with fill my heart with so much hope and joy. And I'm talking about the non indigenous people now, the fact that they want to listen to me when one generation ago, no one cared what my mom had to say outside of us, her family, so much has changed. But when I hear Indigenous attacking their own or Indigenous attacking another marginalized group, I don't judge and just acknowledge that the assimilation has worked really, really well. That the goal of getting us to turn on our own and destroy our community so Canada didn't have to worry about us anymore is still in effect and is still very effective. So back to the Indigenous. Watching this successful Indigenous. I want you to take all that judgment and put it in your pipe and smoke it. And if that's Too traditional. Well, then put it on the end of your cigarette and burn it. I don't care how educated you are. I don't care how successful you are, if you're judging your own. All you have proven is you bought the mainstream message because they have been telling us for years, education is the answer. Education is the answer. And education is an incredible thing. But if you haven't also taken the time to heal, you are now just an incredibly successful person with a lot of baggage. And that makes you a prime candidate to be the source of lateral violence in your career, in your job or business or university or college. Because again, I don't care how many degrees you have, how much healing have you done, how much time have you put into closing those words, wounds, forgiving those people, and learning how to communicate with love, Lead with love. Another of our seven grandfather teachings. Respect. Where is the respect for your fellow community members? When you attack, when you become the enemy? Don't. Just don't. We need bridges. And that means we have to stop burning them. We? Whether you're Canadian, non indigenous, indigenous or whomever, stop judging. Get better at asking why. Get better at what? My mom used to say that when you see someone doing something that you would never imagine yourself doing, their making a decision, they're doing something that you would never do. Instead of judging them, ask yourself, how scared would you have to be? How overwhelmed would you have to be? How isolated and alone would you have to feel to make you think that that action is a good one? When you figure out that answer, you're actually so much closer to building the bridge than you were before. I hope that made sense. I'm not a stick. Don't weaponize me against my own. Not when I'm trying so hard to help people get through the door I'm holding open for them. Until next time. I love you. Take care. Bye Bye.