Put Down the Phone! (And Engage in the Moment)

I'm Shawn Ellis, and welcome to This Moment Matters. The title for today's installment is Put Down the Phone, and that's exactly what I'm going to do in just a moment here. We're— today we're going to be talking about Engaging in the moment and just— ah, so close! If you know how to get 3 stars on level 118 of Angry Birds, let me know. Okay, putting down the phone now. Back to our session here. Let me ask you, did it seem like I was in the moment just then? Hopefully you know I was just having a little fun trying to make a point. I wasn't actually playing Angry Birds, but Have you ever been talking with someone, or trying to talk with someone, and it seems like you just can't buy their attention because they keep looking back at their phone? Have we gotten to the point where a little electronic device is more interesting than human interaction? And by the way, I'm betting you've been guilty of this same offense. I know I have, and it's usually my wife who catches me, which is actually a rather sad statement that it's the people close to us who are usually on the receiving end of what you really just have to call rude behavior. But today's session is not about phone etiquette. Actually, I see this as a metaphor for how we live life. We're constantly distracted from what's most important by little things that are really insignificant. At least in that particular moment. Wouldn't you agree that being engaged with the person right in front of you is more important than anything that's on your phone or your computer screen or the TV or whatever is, is pulling your attention away from that person? Now, let's shift gears a little bit. What if you're in the middle of an important project, you're in the zone, and then all All of a sudden the computer dings, "New email!" Ah, better check it out, it might be important. You know, how many emails a day do you get that are so important that they require your immediate attention? I know for me it's, it's actually pretty rare that an email is that important. But what if you're about to sit down and finally start that blog that you've been wanting to write, but you think, "You know, let me just check my favorite entertainment site first." I see they're bringing Dallas back to TV. Let me just read that one article real quick. Can you relate to any of this? We're kind of like the dog that jerks his head around every time someone yells, "Squirrel!" Instead of embracing the philosophy of this moment matters, we're actually living as if this moment doesn't matter, as if we're just hoping that something better is right around the corner. And there are consequences. Just like the example with the phone, do you think that behaving like that is strengthening the relationship with the person you're in a conversation with? Do you think it makes them feel important? Do you think they might remember that in the future, especially if this becomes a repeated behavior? Or what about when you break out of your zone on that project and you let yourself get distracted by an email? Now, how long is it going to take to get back on track? Will you still be able to meet your deadline? Or even if you do, will the quality of your work suffer? Could that impact your future raises or promotions? And lastly, what about that blog you were going to start? Will you really read just that one article, or is there a chance you'll get lost chasing other rabbits? And then maybe, you know, maybe you won't start the blog today. Maybe you'll just put it off to tomorrow., and then you can get a fresh start on it. And by the way, I'm talking to myself here too. I have to say to myself several times each day, "This moment matters. This moment matters." And when I stay on track, I find that my interactions with friends and family and colleagues and clients are more meaningful. I make more progress toward achieving my goals, and I'm just more productive, period. Which is the way I want to live, and I'm betting you do too. That's the way to a rewarding, fulfilling, meaningful life. So the next time you're in a conversation with someone, remember, put down the phone. Don't even dare glance at it unless your child is about to be born or something like that, and then in that case, tell the other person so they understand and they can be in that moment with you. But remember, the phone is just a metaphor. Always focus on the moment at hand, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. Something will always try to grab your attention, but it can wait. This moment matters. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next time.