How to send you teen to college without losing your mind or your money!

Okay, I think we're live here. So it's a little bit of a problem getting here. So hello everyone, this is Dale Troy and I'm here with a friend of mine, Shellee Howard. As you know, I like bringing on people who can help you in ways that I can't. I don't have the expertise, and this group is really about everything related to college. So today we have Shellee Howard again, who, um, is a certified independent college strategist and counselor. I'm reading from her bio. She helps middle and high school students, and of course their parents, by preparing them for the college admissions process. So we're all— we're talking about college admissions, and she helps them create a standout strategy and gets them into their best fit college without going into debt. So the focus of why I wanted to bring Shellee here is that there are many, many, as you know, many college consultants, plenty of good ones. But Shellee has a particular focus that not all of them do have, and she's even written a book about how not to go into debt, how to graduate debt-free. Did you see that? And I think that's awesome because I've noticed recently in particular that when people are coming into the group, a lot of people, and I'm, you know, this may apply to you if you're listening, are super concerned about how are they going to pay for college. The cost of college is enormous. And how, you know, you want to send your child to the best college, but if you go into tremendous debt, is that really a good trade-off? So, um, welcome, Shellee. I'm glad to have you here.

Thank you so much. I look forward to our conversation.

Okay, great. So, um, as I said, what makes you really stand out to me is that you want to help families not go into debt. So tell us what happens when a family isn't thinking about that aspect, the financial aspect, and they're just kind of going along with the admissions process, like what can happen toward the end?

So typically, well, I get, I get families calling me, you know, from pregnancy all the way on to college transfer. But really where it gets very important, and if I can just have people really land on this, the financial part of college actually happens the second semester of the sophomore year and the first semester of the junior year. That is when your financial house needs to be in order. What does that mean? Many people think, oh, I make too much money, there's no way I'm gonna get anything. I'm here to tell you that I have multimillion dollar clients who still get money. There's so much money that goes unclaimed every single year. And there's not a— you make this amount and one penny over, you're out of luck. That's not how it works. There's— it's so much more. Think about it like this. You could do your own taxes or you can pay a CPA and they find you all this tax code, right? They are like, whoa, I didn't even know you could take that deduction. That's what I do. So I hope people understand it's not that we're not being ethical. It's not that we're trying to beat the system. Not— they lay it all out, but nobody wants to read the FAFSA code. It's like this deep, dark hole. And so I bring it to light and I tell people it's not just your gross and your net, it's where your assets are held. So if people could get their mind wrapped around that for a moment, and that happens earlier than people think. So if people start to plan for college their senior year, I just spoke to a mom about 5 minutes ago, and at that point your financial house is set. The, the foundation's been poured, the everything's done. Now you got a beautiful front door. The problem is now you're stuck. So how do you not get in that position? The first thing you do is you start understanding what your expected family contribution is going to be. Understand what the FAFSA looks at and what they don't look at. Okay, that is the foundation. If you can start there, The second piece is having a discussion with your teenager about return on investment. A lot of parents don't really want to have this conversation with their teenager because one, it's not easy. Two, they find out how really unprepared high school has made them for the financial world of literacy, and that's a bit terrifying as you launch your child off into the world. But it's better to know now, and it's better to have that conversation. So I help families start that conversation about what is the return on investment, and I'll explain just a little bit more. When we talk about return on investment, it doesn't make sense for your child who wants to be a social worker to go and pay $77,000 a year for a USC degree. I'm not saying yes or no. I'm saying think about that for a moment. How long will that social worker have to work for free? That's what I'm talking about. I'm not saying it's a good choice or a bad choice. I'm just saying it is a choice. But what's happened or happening is families are like, you know what, let's just wait and see where Johnny gets in. And then we'll figure it out. That is called debt. And then they marry somebody and now they're double debt. And now, right now, they can't buy a house, they can't buy a car. They're so frustrated that the college degree did it to them. But if you really unwind it, is they allowed that to happen. And so I try really hard. My mission is to help a million families understand that if you have this conversation early and often and, and allow your child to say, yes, go get the merit scholarship, go get the extra scholarship, do everything you can, but let's also be realistic about what that's going to look like for now and for your future. So it is more than just having a conversation. It's really having something where the child, the student understands what's at risk. Because if you ask a teenager who's maybe 16, and I play this game all the time with them, and I say, if I give you $1 million cash and you have to spend it all in 24 hours or you have to give it back to me, they'll either say, well, first I'd buy a jet and then I'd buy 2 yachts and then I'd take all my friends to Hawaii And it goes bigger and bigger and bigger. And you're like, no, $1 million. And they're like, yeah, what? So the idea, the concept of, you know, colleges could be $200,000, right? They have no idea how much that is. Most of them, not all, but most. That is where our problem lies. And that is where my mission is. To say there's a ton of great colleges who have very deep pockets. If you can get in, they're very generous. It's getting in that's the tough part. So that is our focus of how we balance the wants, the needs, and the reality.

That was a great answer. Thank you so much for the detail. But you know what I'm thinking to myself? There may be parents here who have 9th and 10th graders and are, you know, loving this conversation. They don't know what the FAFSA— I can't even say that— FAFSA is. Sure. Briefly explain and why that's so important. And I mean, now I'm really understanding why you need to work on that sooner rather than later.

Absolutely. So the FAFSA is a way It's a free government form that— and it's free. If anybody charges you for it, it's not legit, okay? It's, it's not the real thing. This form is free. What it does is it allows the student to get connected to the parent who, by the way, is paying the taxes for that child, and then get connected to the schools. So say your child wants to apply to 5 schools. They first sign up the student, they get a student ID for the FAFSA, then they get a parent FAFSA ID that's connected. They then connect that to their taxes, which is 2 years prior. Then they will get scholarship offerings—Cal Grants, Pell Grants, all kinds of grants, work-study. There's all kinds of different free money, but it all starts with this one form. Even merit scholarships have been connected to this form. And a lot of people are like, well, why? I make too much money, or why do I have to do it? And one thing is you don't have to do it. You have a choice to pay full price, completely your choice. But if you would like any kind of reduced or free education, The FAFSA is the first step to get you there. It's not the last step, it's the first step.

Okay. All right. That's great. So where, where does other money come from? I mean, there's a lot of talk about applying for scholarships and, and you said, mentioned merit aid. Can you explain what those two things are?

And absolutely. Yeah. So the important thing to understand is colleges have a lot of money, and college is a business. So just for a moment, everybody listening, tell yourself college is a business because people get so emotionally wrapped up in the name of a school that they sometimes forget, does that make a lot of sense? So as you're thinking business, if you were the owner and I came to you with an itty-bitty resume, one or two things on it, and I said, I really, really want to work for you. And you're like, oh, you're so sweet. Okay, we'll see. And then the next person comes and they have this beautiful resume, deep with thought and proof, and, and they say, I would really like to work for you, Dale. And you're like, not only will I take you, I'm going to pay you extra, right? Is that not business? Yeah. Yes. Business concept. That is college. You bring what they want, they will pay you. I know it sounds too good to be true, but that is what brings in the big money. So if you are barely— if you're just getting into a dream school, the chances of you getting money are this, because you have the little resume compared to all the other students there, and they're going to give the money to them. So it's in the most basic sense, think of it like a resume and a business. The bigger, the better the resume, the more money you will receive. That's why we help the student to be the best they can be. We help the parent to get their financial house in order. Therefore, you match them together. That is how our students got over $17.6 million in scholarships in the last 2 years.

That's amazing. Fantastic.

Yeah, there's a ton of money. People just want to believe it's not there. And then of course, after you have picked the best college list to get you the best offerings, then there's the other scholarships. I highly recommend imaginescholarships.com. They are a very legit organization. Going Merry is another legit organization. I don't get anything for, for saying that, but what I will tell you is my child who got into Harvard and cost me nothing. I wanted more. I wanted book money. I wanted travel money. Like, I wanted more money. And I made him apply to 33 different little scholarships and he made $300. So just be mindful. If it doesn't have an essay, don't apply. It's a bait and switch. They're just trying to find out, do you own a home? Do you own a car? Because they want to refinance it for you. So be very careful. I tell my students all the time, if you're going to go down that path, think about hourly wage. Again, return on investment. Would you be better off going and getting a job and being able to have that experience, or would you be better off writing essays and applying for scholarships?

Depends on the dollar amount. Okay. Wow, fantastic. Um, so I'm glad I'm done with this, by the way. My 3 daughters have graduated, although I have one in law school now. Um, so if— so I understand the financial part a little bit better, which is great. So how, how does the person's resume look strong? What are, what are colleges really looking for? How can people—

right, so the most important thing a student can do is be them. Don't be what their friend, don't be what the other person next to them is. They need to be uniquely them. So what I specialize in is a standout strategy. What does that mean? I, I simply tell the student the facts. Somebody will have a higher GPA and a lower GPA, higher test score, lower test score, more service hours, less service hours. Like, this is just a given. So if they are gonna go and, and tutor like 90% of my other smart students, that is not gonna help them stand out. There's not gonna be an admissions person going, look, check this out, they're tutoring, this is ama— no, that is not it. What they wanna know is what do you wanna do? How do you wanna spend your time? What gets you up in the morning? I always start with my students and help them get really clear. Be the change you wish to see in the world. What is that? If you don't know that, we need to first figure that out. Then when we understand who you are, why it matters, your core values, it's very easy to help an admissions department just get to know you. The challenges we teach our kids— don't brag, don't boast, don't do any of that. And that is part of the problem. Now we're telling the student, right, brag like your life depends on it, tell them how amazing you are, and they're like, what? I don't even know how to do that. That's terrible. Those are the challenges that we're faced with.

Okay. All right. So I've heard— I actually, I think I may have seen on your— somewhere in your information about like a passion project. Is that kind of what you're talking about, like figuring out what their passion is and how to show that it's real?

Yeah, so that's where we start our foundation. A lot of students sadly can't tell you 10 things they're passionate about. I even had one gentleman ask Siri, Siri, what am I passionate about? Like really struggling. You know, back in the day, my kids call it the caveman days. Back in the day, we would play outside. We would know, are you fast? Are you slow? Are you good at this? Now there's so much technology time that these kids are not really failing, so they don't know if they're really good or if they're not good. So I, I'm teaching this, these students, it's okay to fail. Whoa, what a big concept. There's questions on the, the Common App. Tell us the time that you weren't successful and how did you handle it? That's actually the hardest question for most of our students. So we go with what's called a Passion with Purpose project. So it has a foundation. We recommend that every student do a minimum of 200 service hours before they apply. Why? Well, it's my belief that if every 17-year-old did 200 service hours, our world would be a very different place. That's my own philosophy. And two, they think they're serving somebody, but what they're really figuring out is, I'm good at this and I'm not good at that. I like this, but I don't like that. And all of a sudden they're testing out these new skills and getting clear on, wow, I really don't wanna be in a lab. I really want a different— and this is all comes through Passion with Purpose. So again, we're doing something nice for somebody. We're leading others to create change, and I guide each student through their own. So it's not just sign up, show up, fill in the blank, boring. It's, I can't wait to tell you my essay because this just happened. That is what is making the difference. Wow.

So when does a family need to start working with you in order to be able to do all of these different things and really pull it all together?

So if a, if a family is proactive and they want to do it very slow and gentle, we will bring on a student in 7th or 8th grade depending on their maturity level. I have a 7th grader right now, maturity level of a 9th grader. Like, mind-blowing, so far ahead of himself, so mature. But I, I'm honest with families. I'm like, maybe next year. So that is the first thing I will say. I am happy to gift any of your listeners a free discovery call to see when it's right for them. In a perfect world, it's the summer going into 9th grade because that is the most wasted summer of all. That counts for college, but nobody's doing anything with it. So if I can give that student a jump start into their passions, into doing something to figure out, do I want to go into medicine? Do I want to go into law? Do I want to go into engineering? What do— who am I? What do I want? You think they're young, but if you start early, they can start building that foundation to get to, I know exactly where I want to go when they're a senior. Now I will tell you, when people find me, I bring them on. So it could be sophomore, junior, senior. I— last year I had somebody 2 weeks before applications were due. It's, it's simply a drip or a fire hose and hope they're mature enough to hold on. Um, I prefer the drip. It's a lot more fun for me and the student, but not everybody knows that I'm I'm here, you know, I've been on Fox 5 News, I've been all over the world, and still people are like, gosh, I wish I would've known you. That is the challenge that we're faced with. So the best time is right now. That's the best time.

Okay. Whenever you're ready, when you feel—

Whenever you're ready. Yeah. It doesn't hurt. And, and to be honest, my cost is the same if you start the freshman year or the senior year. Wow. So is that incentive enough? Definitely, yes.

I would be there. I, I'm your proactive person. Yeah, I make every—

I give them every opportunity to, to try to do it gently and do it slowly, and we have so much fun that the student doesn't even know we're applying to college. They're mystified when we start applications, and they're like, what is everybody complaining about? That is a beautiful way to do it. Yeah.

Oh, if I could go back, I would— yes, I would love, I would love that. Yes, because junior and senior year are so stressful for these kids, right? Just like impossible to, to get through. Absolutely. Yeah, because they're doing their EPs and they're doing everything all at once. Yeah, especially the IB students.

Nobody tells the IB student what their senior year is going to be like with that IB project. They are just slammed, and if they are not proactive with this, it has sunk a few ships. So the sooner the better. Right, right.

Wow. So I, I think you've given us fantastic information. I'm going to put your contact information in the comments, but is there anything that maybe we didn't touch on that you'd like to say before we say goodbye?

So two things. One, I would love to gift your listeners a free copy of my bestselling book, How to Send Your Student to College Without Losing Your Mind or Your Money. So if they go to freebook.collegereadyplan.com, they can get a free book. And then secondly, if they would love to get on a discovery call with me, I will give that to your listeners complimentary. So all they have to do is go to my website, college-ready-plan.com, click on discovery calls, say they heard me on your show, and they will get it for free.

Oh, that's awesome. Thank you so much. And I will put those links below as well. So don't worry, whoever's listening, if you didn't write it down. I really appreciate that. I'm sure everyone listening appreciates it. And, you know, if you can help some of them really get going on this, it will be really— it will be wonderful because It is— this is a stressful time for people who are thinking about, um, you know, my child's going to be applying in a year or 2 years or 3 years, um, and if you can make it simpler, that is great.

And I also like to tell parents it's never too late. It really— until applications are in, there's still something. They can work with our essay editor. There's always something we can do to support them. So please Don't beat yourself up, parents. I, I hear a lot of those pleas right now from parents on the phone. We've got you wherever you're at. We can get you through there to the finish line. So please know, don't be embarrassed, reach out to us. We can help.

Okay, that's a good point. So even if your child's a senior now, don't think it's too late. It's not too late. Shellee will get you going in the right direction. So thank you so much, Shellee, for being here, and, um, look forward to talking to you again. And again, I will put everything below, so don't worry, I have you covered. Thank you so much.

Have a great day. You too. Bye-bye.