Masterclass: Raising College Ready Teens Building Character for College Success with Jeff Nelligan

Welcome everybody. We are gonna go ahead and start right at the top of the hour, and it's so good to see— oh, welcome Carrie, welcome Maria, um, Scott, welcome. Great to have you, uh, so excited you're here. Hey Lori, good to see you. Awesome. Um, Kari is also on the call. Kari, can you hear okay?

Yes.

Excellent. So listeners, Kari is going to be in the chat answering questions. So feel free to, as we're presenting, just go ahead and start asking your questions. And for housekeeping, we will start on time and we will end at the hour or earlier. So you have an idea of the amount of time for those of you who are multitasking at the gym, making dinner, whatever that is. Thank you for tuning in. I remember the day having 4 kids juggling the, the back and the forth, right? And so we're just so thankful that you're here. We are. Let's see, what time are we? We have about 2 more minutes while we're waiting. If I could please have you put in the chat where you're located and the age of your students. I think that will help me especially speak directly to your needs. So if you can go ahead and put in the chat where you're from and the age of your children. So I will put that in here. Where are you from? And the age? Okay, perfect. All right, we have Orange County, 18, Lori. Awesome. She's got some good questions, I'm sure. I'm navigating this at this time. What about everybody else? Where are you from? What age are your students? Love to know. We have about just another minute and we're gonna jump in. I have so much to share tonight. All right. New Jersey. I do not have young kids, but I have known Jeff for 50 years. I love that. Good job, Scott. Way to be there to support. I'm sure you do know a teenager somewhere. So thank you for being on, and I'm gonna go ahead and jump in. People will come as they find time, but you are here, and we want to honor that. So without further ado, I am excited to partner with Mr. Jeff Nelligan and just welcome you, Jeff. Thanks for being with me.

Hey, it's a pleasure and a privilege, and I'm so excited to talk to all the people on, on the webinar. It's gonna be great.

Awesome. So with that, I am going to hit record. We are going to jump right in. And, uh, like I mentioned, we will, uh, definitely have time at the end. I am gonna speak fast, parents, because I have so much that I wanna share. So just know that it is recorded. You can always go back and listen to it. And let's do this. Okay, so we're gonna talk a little bit tonight about maximizing your child's potential, right? We all know that every child has potential. But what helps them to stand out? What makes them uniquely them on a college application? That's what I'm here to share tonight. So let's go ahead and jump right in. As I mentioned, welcome. This is a master class, which means that we are going to give you a ton of free information in hopes that you will be able to navigate this path a little bit easier. I am Shellee Howard. I'm the founder and CEO of CollegeReady. I've been helping families just like yours for the past 17 years. And last 2 years or 3 years— gosh, it goes by so fast— our students have earned well over $23 million. Just last year, $9.2 million in scholarships. What I love to do is support families with college admission. All right, so we're going to jump in. The— our mission is to empower families, maximize your child's potential, and secure admission to the best fit college. My personal journey actually started with my firstborn, and when he was in middle school, he came home and he said, Mom, I know exactly what I want to do, and I want to be a surgeon. And he said brain surgeon at the time, and I want to go to an Ivy League school. And I was like, Okay. And he said, will you help me? And I said, okay. So I took him to his high school counselor, and unfortunately, that was not where we were going to get the help. So I went back to school, and I really started thinking about how can I get him his dream? There was no medicine in our family, and he had big hopes. So I went back to school, and I became a Certified Independent College Consultant. I reverse engineered his successful strategy. I built a comprehensive plan, and then I invested about 33 hours a week helping him implement. What was his result? He got into Harvard, uh, pre-med biology degree, graduated debt-free, had multiple full-ride offers, and he was able to balance high school and all of life's achievements. Fast forward, that young man just turned 30 and he is now an orthopedic surgeon. He went to Harvard, UC San Diego Medical School, and he is now a, a final resident at UCLA. And so it is not about me. It is about what you can do to help your child. So your child can succeed way higher than even mine did. It's all about having a strategic plan and supporting their hopes and their dreams while relieving the financial strain and securing scholarships at top institutions. Your family success story starts with you. You're in charge of that roadmap. How are you going to drive? So what we're going to cover today is I'm going to talk about how do you discover your child's unique strengths? How do you help them with a Passion with Purpose project? How do you navigate admissions with confidence? How do you implement financial strategies for peace of mind? When I tell people that all 4 of my kids got into their dream school and graduated without debt, they think I've lost my mind. And then when I say to them, I'm a middle class family, they think that's no way possible. Tonight I want to show you it totally is possible. So the first thing we want to talk about is what activities light up your child? You know, the one, the, the, the thing they wake up early for, the thing they can't wait to start. What does that look like? How will you help them find their passion? How will you help them stand out in a very crowded, very crowded college admissions process? So why is it even important to have unique strengths? Well, Everybody's got a good test score. Everybody's got a good GPA. Everybody is competing for the limited spots. So the more your student understands their strengths, the more colleges will understand their diverse contributions. Your child is so unique, but they don't know how to highlight what they bring to the business of college admissions. So how have they made an impact? If I was to ask them, tell me about something you did for somebody else that did not benefit yourself, what would they say? Would they even know? Uncovering your child's strengths, it's not always as easy. If you have an athlete, a little easier. If you have a gifted student, a little easier. But what if you have A student who loves everything, who's good at all subjects. How will you help them uncover their strengths? So what problems do they want to solve? You know, every student advocates for something, and if they don't, it's time that they start to stand up for what they believe in. But first, we have to help them find their beliefs outside of their cell phone. So they're finding their identity in their cell phone, and we need them to step back and get rid of the cell phone and go back to the day of figuring out who they are and what matters. What moments are they most proud of? You know, the ones when mom or dad or grandparents talk about and they kind of cower and they get embarrassed. We have to teach them how to be excited and, and show colleges how amazing they are, or they'll never know. Let me tell you about my second child. My firstborn was the one who had big hopes and dreams for the Ivy Leagues. Well, my second went to visit him at Harvard, and she goes, oh, heck no, Mom, this is so not where I want to go. And I said, awesome, where do you want to go? And she goes, I don't know. Excuse me. And I said, what do you mean you don't know? She goes, Yeah, I just know I don't want to go to the Ivy thing. I get too excited. So I said, so what do you want to do? And she said, I want to change people's lives. I said, what does that mean? She said, I want to give them hope. That's what I want to do. And I said, well, how are you going to do that? She says, well, when my brother went to Kenya, Africa, I saw that there were these children who had no pretty little dresses, no sign of hope. And I want to give them their first dress. I want to give them the confidence. I want to, I want to take my passion for fashion and empathy And I want to serve underserved children. So what did she do? First, she taught herself how to sew. Then she taught her friends how to sew. Then she had a pillowcase drive, and then they had Friday night pizza parties, and they sewed thousands of pretty little dresses. The next problem is they couldn't figure out how they were going to get them to these people in need. They sure knew they didn't want to go to a third world country. What they ended up doing is they found that Doctors Without Borders— those doctors are happy to take their pretty little dresses and deliver them to the children, and they'll videotape them and photograph them. And guess what? She saw little girls transforming into pretty little princesses before her eyes. This gave her the desire to do what really impacted others. She is now a pediatric registered nurse in an emergency room, making sure that little people have hope. These are the things that colleges are looking for and things that students need to experience to know what it's going to be like to jump into adulthood. Turning strengths into standout applications is what we're trying to help you understand, right? Somebody's always gonna have a better GPA or a worse one, a better test score or a worse one. So now what? Now it's about crafting their story, but not just checking boxes. I did this and this and this, or my parents made me do this and I really didn't wanna do this. That's not what it's about. It's about helping them figure out their core values, their gifts, their talents, all those things that will help them stand out, and then telling their story in an essay, telling their story on their resume. Did you know that on the Common App there's a place for 10 activities on honors and awards, and on the University of California app there are 20? If that doesn't freak you out a little bit, parents, it did me. And I was thinking, my son doesn't even sleep. How is he possibly going to get that done? Well, if they're doing things they love to do with their friends, it's just part of growing up and it can be done. It just has to be strategic. Another case story. I had a student, Daniel Parker. He was so insanely passionate about the sky. He was fascinated with astronomy. He loved to talk for hours to me about the deep universe, and his dream was to go to space with NASA. What did he do? He created space backpacks for underprivileged children. He really wanted to ignite the theme of space with them. He organized stargazing nights. He created black hole research project. He even got it published. This young man could talk about the universe. The impact he made got him in to many colleges, including Brown University. Where he's on his way to prepare for NASA. So just know it is possible, and I want you to be able to help your child. So keeping an eye on the time. Your child's unique strengths have to be theirs. What makes their eyes light up? Have you ever asked your child, what do you want to do for community service? And you get super excited. You're like, Do you want to feed the homeless? Do you want to tutor? Do you want to, you know, volunteer at a summer camp? And they're like, ah, heck no, that doesn't sound fun at all. And you just get frustrated and exhausted trying to get them super motivated, and they're just like, eh. Well, it's because you're sharing your passion. The goal is to bring out their passion. So that's what we do. We want to showcase what that looks like. So we develop what's called passion projects, and that's the second most important piece. You want to demonstrate initiative and leadership. I'll give you an example. I was— I've been to Africa 4 times, and on my 3rd time while I was there, I met a gentleman who was telling me about some of the problems he's faced with. He's an attorney in Africa. And he's a women's advocate, and he went on to share all of the, the needs in that, in that place. Uganda is an incredible place, but there's a lot of need. And I came back and I told my students, one in particular, and Henry and I, we created this thing called EmpowerEducation.World. You can look it up, www. Kerry, can you put it in the chat? I encourage you to look it up, and I encourage you to have your middle or high schooler join it. There's no cost. It's my passion, actually my purpose, Henry's passion, and together it is now 53 students internationally where these students are earning national awards. So how do you start one of these? Well, first you need to identify the cause they care about, then define their role, then set clear goals, engage others, reflect, and document. So colleges are looking for students who are proactive and contribute to their community. Remember, college is a business. They are not looking for your student to come sit in a classroom and leave. That's not what they want. They want your student to come, get fired up, be passionate about things, lead others to create change, have an experience that they will graduate and tell the world about, because that is the best marketing for a business. A passion project needs to align to your child's interest.. It needs to be their project, their intention. As a 16, 17, it's kind of hard to come up with that on their own, but we do it with them and we support them as they go through the process. As I mentioned, Henry and I, we were super excited about the opportunity to build schools in Uganda and support orphans in Oaxaca. We are now leading— well, now it's up to 53, just in the last, probably, month, and we've raised well over $29,000. We're now educating over 850 children who walk 3 hours to school, 3 hours home, and have one meal a day. We are on fire to make a difference. And now Henry is a senior, and he is enjoying the fruits of his labor. We are so excited about this group. They— these students can earn 10 national awards, actually, yeah, 10 national awards, 4 leadership certifications, and have international recognition. We encourage students to raise their hand, to get excited, to lead a project. Maybe it's the first time they've had an opportunity to think big. Maybe it's leadership without a popularity contest involved, but leading an international project, that's what colleges are looking for. What's the cause that would inspire your child to raise their hand, step up and lead? Step 3: Navigate the admissions confidently. When your child has done all of this really cool stuff, writing an essay is super simple. So first they have to overcome the myths and the misconceptions. Empowering your child through this process is really about helping them think bigger than they're used to. Utilizing tools and experts to help in this process is critical because if your child's not an entrepreneur thinker, they're going to get stuck along the way. The mission statement alone has stopped many students in their tracks, so we help them with that process. Now let's talk about what are some big-time myths that students may get caught up in. So the first one is believing that only perfect students get into top college. That is simply not true. I know students who have very average GPAs but amazing passion projects. Or super, super impressive test scores with leadership that would blow your mind. So it is not just one thing. Thinking that standardized test scores are all that matter— as I mentioned before, that's one of 7 things. Assuming that the process, process of applying to college is just way too complicated— it is actually very simple when you know what to do. I often tell students, think about it like the first time they tried a sport or an instrument. It was really hard and very overwhelming, but as soon as somebody took the time to tell them the rules of the game, it was actually quite enjoyable, is what my students have told me. So let's talk about it. Supporting your child, right? You're going to have some of your children are going to be like, yes, my parents are amazing and I'll do everything they say. And then, of course, you're gonna have students that say, my parents don't know anything, and I don't wanna follow their advice. So let them take ownership, but just know they have no idea how to do any of this, and their high school is not gonna help them. So they need a personalized roadmap. They don't know what they're supposed to be doing. And then also incorporating If your child wants scholarships, the FAFSA looks at the second semester of the sophomore year and the first semester of the junior year. So if you want scholarships, guess what? Your timeline just got really pushed up. Providing resources and tools, checklists, calendars, you know, time blocking, teaching them how to do this is going to be so important because you have to ask yourself, if you don't help them and they don't know how to do it, what is the plan? Of course, there's companies like College Ready. I'm going to give you a ton of free resources. If you're still like, Shellee, I, I don't, I don't want to spend 33 hours a week figuring this out, can you help? Of course we can help. We are here to support your family. If you hire somebody, I will tell you If they are good, you will save— you and your child will save time, money, resources, and a ton of fighting and stress. It's super important that everything is custom to your child. Do not do what their best friend is doing. Do not do what the average student on the average timeline is doing. Here's another case study. This is strictly getting into the admissions process. So I have a student, or had a student, Caitlin Kohlberg. Her family came to me and they were the first to go to college in the US, or she was. They went to college in another country and they were just feeling super overwhelmed and super frustrated. So what I had to do is I had to demystify the process for them, providing them personalized planning through a roadmap, really simplifying what needed to be done. The result was Caitlin got accepted into several top-tier schools. She's actually finishing up right now. Ah, she's graduating this year from UC Berkeley, and she will graduate debt-free. That's huge, and that is our goal for all students. So now let's talk about how do we navigate it. Shellee Howard, how do we do this? So if you want to be confident in doing this, Do not wait. We start working with students as young as 7th and 8th grade. Okay, but it's not too late if you're a freshman, sophomore, junior. If you're a senior, I'm sorry, it is too late at this point. We cannot help 12th grade students, and it breaks my heart because I'm still getting those phone calls. Now, we can help them with a gap year. We can help them if they want to work on a college transfer program. But as far as all of the other stuff, it's just a little bit too late. Would having expert advice ease your concerns? Oh yeah, because we implement financial strategies. We want you to understand that the cost on the, the website for a school, that's not the real cost. It's like comparing the cost on a, on a car or on a for sale sign for a home. That's not the real cost. You need to maximize financial opportunities. We use schools against each other. We do financial negotiations, financial reconsiderations. We want you to understand what is your student aid index. How are we going to lower your student aid index so you can get bigger scholarships? The big myth here is you make too much money. That is simply not the truth. I have multimillionaires and their students are still receiving scholarships. So it's just you don't know how, but it is possible. So consider extracurricular activities. How much do you spend? How much time on clubs, sports, sororities, fraternities, all of that? Well, guess what? It's going to cost you a lot more when they get into college. So those are going to be important. Traveling back and forth, right? If they are not living at your house, there's costs, personal expenses. So the strategies to reduce costs is where I'm going to end. And here's the number one: maximize financial aid and scholarships. You need to understand what does the FAFSA look at, what do they not. What does the CSS profile look at? What do they not? Please complete the FAFSA regardless how much money you make or don't make, because it feels really good for your child to get a scholarship. When their friends are getting scholarships because their families completed the FAFSA and yours does not, it doesn't feel good. So in order to get scholarships, the first step is completing the FAFSA. There are a ton of merit-based scholarships. There are very generous schools, and there are insanely stingy schools, and I can tell you which ones are which. Need-based aid is strictly for the families who truly do not have the money to live. If you live in a home, the chances are you won't qualify for need-based, but sometimes there are opportunities. And then the biggest, biggest, biggest money is the money from the university. Harvard has $53 billion to give away. Yes, if your child gets in, there is a boatload of money. Now, not every child should go to an Ivy. Maybe they don't even want to go to an Ivy. But this plays out in all levels where the Big misconception here is I want my child to go to a local state school because it's cheaper. That is simply not the truth. There are many private schools that are cheaper than RUC schools. There are many, many opportunities at the California state schools right now. The average student is taking 6 years to get a 4-year degree. That is not cheaper. That is opportunity costs. So these are the things that I want you to realize. The keys to success are starting early, building a strong profile, and researching generous colleges. Alright, at this time, I'm gonna go ahead and turn the stage over. Mr. Jeff, go ahead and take it away.

Well, I tell you, Shellee Howard, I don't know how anyone can follow that. That was powerful. And have been through the college process 3 separate times, I'm telling you, you hit on all cylinders exactly what happens when parents and kids go through this. And, you know, there's several items— you saw me probably taking notes or nodding vehemently during your presentation because, um, it really tracks with what I encountered. You know, you have to have a strategy. Yes, and you have to have a strategy for raising your kid. And this is where I'll take a parallel path to what you're talking about. A kid's identity in the phone, you know, the leadership showing that and always having your hand up volunteering. But I'm going to start just with the way you kind of put this in the promotional materials, developing those qualities, personal conduct, confidence. Ambition and resilience and adversity and how that can help a kid thrive in college. Well, it can start even earlier, and I'll just begin with two numbers for the parents listening. And the first one is an average kid between the ages of 8 and 18 spends 8 hours and 17 minutes on their phone or on a screen every day, and that doesn't include schoolwork. The second number is Your time with your kid, 75% of your time with your kid is over by the time that kid turns age 12, and 90% of that time is over by, is over by the time that the child turns 18, the child that now an adolescent. And so those two numbers frame everything, kind of what you've been talking about. And just moving it back a few years because those two numbers provide kind of the ethos, ethos for my way and the way I parented my kid, my three sons, um, that our, our job as parents is not just to build a relationship with our child, it's to really teach that kid to learn and develop a relationship with the whole real world that's right outside the front door. The people at school, in the neighborhood, in the hardware store, at the supermarket, on the athletic fields, the drama club, Boy Scouts, the robotics club, everywhere where there's people, because that is where that kid is going to spend the majority of his or her life. And building these qualities is essential to not only them getting into the school of their choice, as you put it, their best fit school, but also thriving once they get there. And so, you know, when I started the whole parenting route, and college was always a distant goal, it was always in the picture, you know, I wanted to kind of really develop hard and young in my kids 4 qualities. And we— I listed them at the top: that personal conduct, that confidence, that resilience in adversity, and that ambition, all of which builds that kid, as you kind of went through in your presentation, that is going to be that kid that can not only get into the school of their choice but thrive there. And, um, I did this just 3 simple ways. Number 1, I took my kids out, my sons, my 3 sons, in the real world all the time.. And in that real world, I judged it, which may not, which may not seem too easygoing, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Judge the world, the good, the bad, the inspirational. And you know, that would come down to if you see a man or a woman holding a door open for a senior, that's good behavior. If you see a very effusive parent talking to a shy parent, to bring him out or her out. That's the good behavior. If you see bad behavior, you point that out too. I recall, and I use this example all the time, attending a middle school football game and leaving it and watching across the parking lot a mom with a helmet, a dad with a huge equipment bag, and the kid 10 feet ahead texting furiously on his phone. And I pointed to the guy and I said, not whispering, that you don't want to be like that jerk. And every parent and every kid around me started laughing because it was obvious this is the way you don't want a kid to come up. And so those examples provided a real template for how those kids should behave and not behave. The second thing I did is always gave them tests. And when you talk about When you were talking earlier about all the kids that went through your program and how they kind of met that test, whether it be in Africa or making the dresses, a test in which they're challenged and they have to perform. And so always tests. And the first test I gave when they were 7, 6, and 4 was we were in a shopping mall in Washington, D.C., big indoor shopping mall bustling on a Saturday.. And I gave each kid a $5 bill out of my wallet. I said, go get the old man change. This is not a race, you know, but don't— you might strike out at some stores, but don't come back unless you have change. And off they went, just the kind of Lenore Skenazy independence of Let Grow and her examples in New York. And ultimately they all came back. One kid had struck out at a couple stores. Another kid had 20 quarters in his pocket. But it was a test that they had met, and the test just got harder and harder as they grew older. You know, we're at a restaurant, I point to one kid who's, you know, 6 and say, "Memorize our entire order and tell the waitress." Or we're at an airport and I hand an 8-year-old all the paperwork and said, "You get our boarding passes and find out where we need to go." And so these tests and these challenges, they embolden somebody. And at the same time, they bring satisfaction to the kid as well. Because in this world, no adult, Shellee Howard, and you know this as well as I do, and no kid gets a free ride. There's always going to be tests every day of the week or every 3 days. And the obstacles that are there, you have to get over or get around. Because the sooner the kid becomes enabled and is kind of, you know, protected by the snowplow parent. If that happens again and again and again, that 7-year-old enabled becomes the 24-year-old living in the basement playing Call of Duty, and then there's no hope. I guess the third thing is you always model the behavior. I tried to model behavior that I wanted them to, to embrace and encapsulate, and Every time, you know, I did this even when I was, you know, it was a failure of mine and the behavior I had to show. I had to put kind of a, you know, a tough but, you know, got to understand, guys, this is going to happen. If I get fired from a job, you know, we'll be able to afford the donuts. But if it gets too, you know, too long in time, I'm not. And so those kinds of things also built that resilience in the children. I guess the last thing I'd say is, and you know, it's encapsulated in the stories you were giving, this kind of behavior and these kind of attitudes focused on those 4 qualities, over time, if they're repeated and repeated, they become a reflex, what we call in athletics muscle memory. And so by the time they get to the point where you're talking about these parents and these children come— kids coming to you about colleges, they've amassed a record of good decisions, and the good decisions will be, you know, reflected in their academic standing or their athletic or their social poise and their confidence, and that's what's going to be appealing. You know, I'll repeat what you kind of earlier went over— the leadership and the initiative, the keyest words to a kid who's, you know, 5 or 15, you know, showing that drive to take charge of something because they want to, because in your word, they have a passion for it. And the second thing you were talking about was the volunteering. Always have your hand up. That was a constant refrain on my part for kids who, you know, would always kind of rise to that challenge of saying, hey, I'll do that. I don't know what it is, and it may be awful, but I want a new experience. I want to meet new people. I'm not afraid of what's going to be thrown at me because I have confidence I'm going to succeed at it. So, um, you know, and to draw the last parallel with you, when you get these, you know, your clients and the people that you bring in and their parents, you know, That behavior and those attitudes are reflected in a record, an overall record that you ultimately have to write about in that all-important essay. As well as, like you say, yeah, everybody gets good test, you know, AP scores and ACTs and SATs, and everyone has good grades. How do you stand out? Well, the kid that stands out is the one that has kind of embraced those qualities and has a record and, you know, the poise to really sit down with an admissions officer or with different, you know, adults and really make their case for a school. So, you know, I began with the numbers. 75% of your life is over by 12, by the time the kid is age 12. And all that screen time— you mentioned the screen time too, identity and a screen— but the overall The overall result you can see now, two of my kids went to military academies and one of the other one, the eldest, went to a pretty well-known school in New England. And they got there because of those qualities and the qualities paid off like you were speaking about when it came time to the, you know, the hard road of applying to colleges and thriving in college. Yeah, the same qualities that got them there allowed them to thrive in college. And now, of course, they're older than some of your, some of your clients, but they're thriving in their endeavors today. Two are military officers, another one's about— plays professional rugby and is about to go back in the Army. He got a waiver. So those behaviors then, as people you've talked about and the kids and parents you've talked about, That's what allows a kid to thrive in college and beyond. So with that, I, you know, I'm just, I'm glad to be here just to listen, you know, kind of the, the building blocks of what you've, you put together there. They're phenomenal.

I love it. Can you give the title of the, your book?

Oh, sure. It's called Four Lessons from My Three Sons: How You Can Raise a Resilient Kid.

It sounds awesome. So for those of you who are in that stage of enjoying your teenagers, that is a wonderful resource. So what I'm going to do now is I'd like to open it up for questions. And then I was just going to give you some, some resources that will make this process a little bit easier. Kerry, are there any questions in the chat, or should I keep going? I don't see any questions yet. A shy group we have tonight. Okay, excellent. So I think at this point it'd be really helpful. Great work. I love it. At this point, I think it'd be really helpful if you do have any questions. I think that helping your child prepare, I often tell families, think of it like this. We're not just— our end goal is not the name of a school. It's not once they get in, we're done, it's over. It really is how do we set them up for success in life. And college is a stepping stone, or military, or whatever that may be, is a stepping stone to success. So often it's in— oh, we have a question. Often parents are asking their child, where do you want to go to college? What do you want to study? And I would encourage you to think more about, let's volunteer doing something you're passionate about and leading others to create that change, because you'll learn a lot more about them. And their core values and their gifts and their talents, and it'll be a fun process versus one in which they shrug and they are like, I don't know what I want to do. Yeah, they, they really, if they could tell you, they would. Um, awesome. We have, uh, let's see, Scott, what about a child who doesn't want to go to college but is thinking of a trade? These schools are often costly. You know, that's a great point, Scott. Um, it really comes down to the return on investment. Um, it— that's what I always tell families. A trade school can be great, and you're right, it can be a bit expensive, but if they're going to get out— I'll give you an example. My nephew is a race car welder. Very unique, but he's living his dream. He welds race cars. Race car frames, and he didn't want to do the typical 4-year plan. He was more with his hands, and he was more, um, uh, not a book person. And there, there are many trades, right? But what I tried to help him understand is, yes, you want to use your hands right now, and your back is super strong, and your knees feel great. But what happens when you do this in 30 years? Are you still gonna want to do that trade, or do you want to get a business degree and open up many of these opportunities? So just looking at it a little bit different. And then, you know, if, if they don't want to go to college. I would encourage you to give them the same advice my dad gave me because I was born to two entrepreneurs who said, we didn't go to college and we're doing fine. And my dad told me very simply, he said, you know, why are you in such a hurry to adult? You're going to be working for the rest of your life. You have a lot of growing up to do. And doing it while getting educated is not a bad thing, and that degree will never hurt you, but don't go into debt. And that was it. That was it, right? If— can you— you can go through the military. I have 10 colleges in my book, in my first book, that are tuition-free. And so you say, I can't afford school. That simply means you're not willing to work for that education. So that's what I'm trying to help people understand is what is the driving force and how can you get that student in to wherever they want to go with a return on investment? Jeff, did you want to add something to that?

Yeah, I mean, I, I think Scott's question is good because you made the point earlier. Couldn't be made better. You said there's, you know, the average time span at a UC for a 4-year degree is 6 years. You know, you're, you're burying that kid and that family in debt. And what, what might have been the other outcome is a kid who says, look, I want to wait a year, just like you were talking about gap year earlier. And, you know, I mean, I know guys that I grew up with who didn't go to college and went into HVAC. And went into insurance, and they're doing much, much better than I am at this stage of life. But the, the, you know, I think that fear kind of that you, you, you know, alluded to of 6 years in for a 4-year degree and I'm under a mountain of debt and what, what am I going to do? So I think that's kind of the animus too for the question. Sure.

Yeah, so Scott, the, the most important thing that I would recommend that you do is one, really get clear on what is that child's gifts, talents, core values, and advocacy. Do they not want to go to college because they don't want to learn, or do they not want to go to college because the cost? Like, there's so many underlying things My niece wants to be a chef. That is why I'm asking. How awesome. So again, I want that— that young person— cooking may be a passion, but standing on their feet all day in a hot kitchen may not be what they want to do for very long. Maybe they want to open a restaurant or multiple restaurants. Well, understanding how marketing works and business works and contract works and all of that is going to be really important unless the student just wants to cook. So there's nothing wrong with being a chef. It's just I don't think that young people are looking at how long do I want to be doing what I'm signed up for. I'll give you an example. The number 1 most unemployed major right now in college is called psychology. And even though it is a wonderful thing to understand how people think, how they act, all of that, when a student graduates in 4 years, there is no job called psychology. So they graduate and then they're looking for a job and they're like, there's no job. And that's a huge problem. And if they go into debt, it's a bigger problem. So I guess my point in sharing this is it's better what we do. If you go to www.see— Carrie, can you put in See Our Future Now, please? I encourage you to go to this website and, and sit down and talk to your young adult and help them to figure out how to answer the questions on this website, because I created it with you in mind, the parent, So you can nurture your child to answer these questions. Just think, if you were 18, you're— when you were 18 years old, if somebody sat down with you and said, what are your core values, your gifts, your talents, your advocacy? What are the things you want to see changed in the world? And how are you going to do it? Or if every 18-year-old did 200 community service hours, how different would our world be? When you're serving another human being, you let your guard down. You're not worried about being— that you fail, because guess what? Way better off than they've ever been. So I encourage you to really— if your child does not know— here's an example: the chef. I love it. That chef should be cooking for a lot of people right now. They need to feel it. They need to understand the cost of groceries, the cost of eggs. They need to understand all of the stuff that goes into it. It's not just getting them there, it's helping them using that step to ultimately graduate without debt, with a career path in mind, and a vision of what that's going to look like. Any other questions that we could answer for you? Those were wonderful. Okay, awesome. So Jeff, if they wanted to, uh, get in touch with you or your book, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Certainly, Shellee Howard. It's W— I have a website where the book is and blogs and podcasts on parenting. Called— it's at www.nelliganbooks.com. And I'm on Twitter @ResilientSons and Instagram @NelliganBooks and Facebook. And so you can reach out to the website and then it will give you a way to contact me.

Awesome. I'm just going to share a little bit of free resources for those of you who are still trying to figure out this, this craziness that we call your child's future. And so, um, College Ready Plan is the, the program that I've been talking about. It's been, well, 17 years we've been doing this, and it's a comprehensive personalized program where we maximize your child's potential and minimize the stress and the cost. And this is what it looks like. So we do all of this with our students. So if you're going to do this on your own, just know this is going to be your responsibility. There are a lot of things that need to happen. It can be, and it should be fun. If you take nothing else away, you want to remember these 7 key concepts. You need to prepare an academic strategy. How many AP, IB, dual enrollment classes? You want to have a test strategy. Should they take the SAT, ACT, PSAT, AP? They need a plan. Community service. What are they passionate about? Who will they serve? Leadership. How many places will they serve? How will they get the leadership opportunity? Extracurricular activities. What they do will tell more about them to a university than what they say. Having a letter of recommendation from an adult who really knows them, especially if you're going into military, that's a critical piece. And then the essay strategy. How will they tell their story? So I'm going to leave you with this thought, families. Who will be responsible for completing— check the boxes. Who will complete the academic strategy? Will it be you, the parent, the child, or do you need professional assistance? The financial strategy, the test strategy, the leadership strategy, extracurricular strategy, recommender strategy, essay strategy, passion with purpose strategy, and strength and career assessments. And I want to be totally transparent. If you do not do— if these are not covered, your child will have a hard time getting into their dream school. I'm not saying they won't go to college because most people have the opportunity to go to a college, but not everybody has an opportunity to go to the college of their dreams. And to do it without going into massive debt.

So can I add something here, Shellee Howard?

Of course.

Yeah, those, those bullet points, there's another, there's another great benefit behind them that forces a kid and a parent, all those points, each one individually, to really find out who that kid is. And by having to go through that rote list, each each item of which is essential. That gets a parent and a kid closer. It also focuses the parent and the kid on what are we up to and what do we want. Because without that kind of discipline, the kid's, the kid's never going to form in his own mind, his or her mind, what he wants to do. So that's another super benefit from that list.

Thank you. We took lots of time making that simplified list. We would like to offer you a complimentary discovery call so you can ask your specific questions. We know it's not always easy in a large group. To do that, you can go to www— let me give it to you— college-ready-plan.info, and we help you see Is your child ready? If they're not, where are the holes and how can you support them? So without— oh, any— did we get some more? Yes. Um, let's see. I am a school counselor and I am a regular fan of your webinars. Thank you so much for all your resources. Maria, you are so welcome. We are so happy. Our mission is to help a million families get into college and graduate debt-free. And so the fact that you are a school counselor and you are learning the importance of this whole process, I thank you for, for being on our webinars. And then Scott, not everyone is motivated at a young age. Yeah, that's the truth. I will tell you that I have known Jeff since I was 15. He is and is the most motivated person I know. His children are extremely motivated as well. Way to shout out!

Oh man, the hometown crowd, baby.

Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you, families, for being on, and we look forward to supporting you. Thank you, Jeff, for your wisdom, and, um, have a wonderful evening.