In this episode of the College Ready podcast, host Shellee Howard interviews Dale Troy, a college and success coach and certified health coach, about how parents can prepare their teens for the transition to college. Dale shares that 30% of students drop out before sophomore year, largely due to anxiety, depression, and a lack of essential life skills that are not taught in high school or college. He outlines his "College Success Formula," which focuses on four pillars: academic habits (time management, prioritization, asking for help), social skills (making friends, roommate relations), physical health (sleep, nutrition, exercise), and mental health (stress management, positive self‑talk, growth mindset). Dale emphasizes proactive summer conversations between parents and students covering communication frequency, expectations, finances, and peer‑pressure topics. He offers concrete strategies for socially anxious freshmen, such as viewing freshman year as a friend‑making opportunity and using simple gestures like smiling and saying hello. For high‑achieving students, he advises a mindset shift toward effort over grades and blinders against peer comparison. Time‑management advice includes using a physical planner, time‑blocking, and scheduling all activities to create free time and accountability. Nutrition guidance involves filling plates with colorful foods, starting at the salad bar, and understanding the impact of diet on focus and energy. Dale describes his ideal client as a student in the summer before college who is motivated to adopt holistic habits, and he provides contact information via talkwithdale.com and a Facebook group called College Parent Support Community. The conversation blends practical coaching tips with parental concerns, aiming to equip families with the tools to ensure a smoother, healthier college transition.
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Parents, is your teen college ready? Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or excited about your teen applying to college? Do you know what colleges are looking for? And if your kid gets in, do you know what you'll pay for it? College admission has never been so competitive or expensive. Shellee Howard will take you on a journey to help you and your teen get college ready. Now here's your host, Shellee.
Hello, this is Shellee Howard with College Ready, and I'm super excited to share I have a wonderful guest this morning. Dale Troy is with us, and she's a college and success coach and a certified health coach. Parents hire her to help their children develop confidence in their ability to function well on a college campus. Dale's experience in helping college students started with her own 3 daughters. All 3 of her daughters graduated from Yale College, and she is a graduate from Yale College and Yale Law School. Dale helps students get good grades, make great friends, and stay healthy, but both physically and mentally. And boy, can we all use somebody like Dale on our side. So welcome, Dale.
Thank you. I'm really happy to be here and have this conversation with you. This is a great topic.
Excellent. So, you know, many of my listeners, um, they start with us, we get them into a wonderful college, and then the reality hits right about this time. For those students who are leaving in the fall, their parents are having those, "Now what?" Like, "We worked so hard to get here, and now what?" So maybe you could speak to what that is like and how to best prepare your child for that transition.
That is a wonderful topic, and actually, you know, that's really what I'm all about because I, I agree with you. There's so much emphasis placed on getting our kids into the college, the right fit, getting excited. Oh my goodness, the graduation parties, all of that. But nobody's really thinking about what is it going to be like for, for the student to be on a college campus without their parents. And because of that, I mean, we're seeing rising rates of anxiety and depression on college campuses and kids just feeling overwhelmed when they get there. Not everyone, but, you know, too many. I don't even know if you realize that 30% of kids drop out before sophomore year.
That is so sad. Is that— you know, we talk about that all the time. We plan, plan, plan to get them there, and then all of a sudden we're like, okay, they're ready to adult. But I remember dropping off my son at Harvard, and parents were crying, and they were so distraught. And I was so happy. And I remember a parent asking me, like, aren't you sad? I'm like, sad? Why would I be sad? They're at Harvard. Like, come on. So, but maybe, maybe, you know, a parent is having a tough time adjusting. What does that look like in a healthy leaving the student at college? What is a great way to prepare for that mentally? In getting ready for that time?
Yeah, well, you kind of asked me two questions, so there are— sorry. So I mean, let me just go back to the, the first part, which is that there are basic life skills that we really haven't taught our kids, and they're not learning in high school, and they're not really learning in college except by doing. So my, my focus when I work with students is being proactive and really helping them learn those skills and habits that are going to be helpful when they get to college. So that's everything around academics, things like time management and how to prioritize, how to ask for help when you really need it. And then there's, um, the social part— how to make friends, how to be friendly, uh, getting along with a roommate, those kinds of things. And in addition, then there's the physical part, which is Are they getting enough sleep? Do they realize how important it is to eat healthy food and get exercise every day? And then finally, the mental health part, which is really knowing how to keep stress at a normal level and how to really take care of yourself on an emotional basis, like positive self-talk and believing in yourself that you can can change so that you can have a growth mindset. All of those things are, are just really kind of basic life habits that are going to help them throughout life. But if they're missing some pieces of that, it becomes very hard when they get to college. So that's, so that's really just so to be clear, that's what I focus on and I call it College Success Formula, my, my program. Yeah, so, but going back to the other question, um, so I think one of the most important things that families can do is start having these conversations over the summer before they, they get to the campus. Things like communication— how often are we going to communicate and how, what, what, what should that look like? I mean, I really believe in having some kind of face-to-face communication once a week. Because that's really the best way to tell how your child's doing. You can probably look at, look at your child's eyes and know if they're just, they're thriving or not, right? So that's one thing. Have a conversation about what, what your expectations are, you know. Do you, are you expecting them to, to just really be focused on their academics and grades are the most important, or, or do you want them to have a more balanced life in college, and you want them to spend a lot of time meeting people and participating in activities. So you both, you just both need to be on the same page. There are all sorts of those kinds of conversations. There can be conversations about finances, you know, and are you going to give them an allowance, you know, what, how much should they be spending, uh, you know. Then there's also conversations about things like drugs and alcohol. Do you realize that there's going to be a lot of peer pressure and how are you going to handle it? And, you know, what, uh, maybe, maybe talk through some ideas if your child doesn't want to, you know, overindulge in that. So, um, it's really being open about this is, this is a new experience for you. We need to really talk about what it's going to be like so that you are prepared.
That is so helpful. Now, do you speak with the parent? Do you speak with the student? Do you speak with both? Because I know they could be on different pages, right? And what the parent wants and what the student wants don't always match. So how do you handle those dynamics?
Well, um, I speak to both parties, but I really speak to parents in my Facebook group. Which is called College Parents Support Community. So we're having those conversations alone. And then I work with students directly when I'm coaching them in my program. So, you know, I— every family is going to be different and everyone, every family is going to have different values and different expectations. So it really is a family conversation, but just knowing what those conversations are is like the first step and getting your child to really be open to having the conversations.
Absolutely, right? Yeah, I think that's the, the challenge if maybe, um, there's not that open communication or there hasn't been that open communication and now that parent is maybe concerned that when they get to school they're not going to call them at all That, that could be a reality. What about for the student who is anxious, is maybe socially— I don't want to say awkward, but just struggles a little bit more in social circles. Is there something you can do to help that type of child?
Yeah, I like to tell that type of child, and I've worked with many, that They should really view freshman year as like a gift to them because everyone is looking for friends in freshman year. So it's not like they're going into a situation where everybody knows each other and they're the one on the outside. It's really the opposite. Every person that they meet is a potential friend. So all they really need to do is smile, say hello, say hello to the person next to you in a classroom. Go to the dorm activities, go to all the orientation, and, and just be as friendly as you can and just be open to talking about whatever. So it, it shouldn't feel like a big pressure because everybody's nervous. This person who has social anxiety or some level of that may think that they're the only one who feels that way, but that's not true. You know, everything like that.
I, I do, you know, having 4 of my own and so many hundreds of other people's children go through the process. I have seen people adjust, or young adults adjust very quickly, and then I've seen some of them really struggle. And what's interesting is the students who've always gotten all A's and maybe didn't have to work as hard. Work hard for it also have their own struggles, right? So what do you do for a student who is now among all the other brilliant students from every other high school fighting for that A? How do you address that? And, and how do you help them to cope with, you know, is this something that you're willing to fight for, or are you going to be okay to get your first B? I mean, that's another struggle.
Yeah, it is. I mean, that they, they really need to realize what you're saying, that all of a sudden they're in, they're being, they're in an environment where everybody is top of their class or at a selective school especially, and they need to change their viewpoint about themselves. They need to start to, to realize that all they can do is do their best. They, they have to kind of have blinders on. Don't worry about what everybody else is doing. Let's just focus on why am I here, what are my goals, you know, how much effort am I willing to put in. And whether that ends up with a B or B+ instead of an A, I mean, in the long run it's probably not going to make any difference. But they have to be comfortable with the fact that they put in the effort and that they're happy with what they, what they accomplished.
And it is a mindset, right? Because they have been that competitive valedictorian, salutatorian, top 5%, whatever that might be. When they get to the top-tier schools and have the reality check that, wait a minute, these people are going to study 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I kind of want to enjoy a little bit of college. So how do you help with time management? These kids you know, maybe they're a little gifted and maybe they get to college and all of a sudden, um, it's less time in the class and more time to figure it out on their own. That— I remember for me, that was like, well, wait a minute, it's— I have to be accountable to me. How, how can you help that type of student?
Well, I actually believe that time management is the key to doing well. In all aspects of college, because if you don't have that skill, it is very overwhelming. And I teach students to use a physical planner, the old-fashioned way, and, and to time block and to really plan out their schedule for a week at a time so that they, they're scheduling in their study time, they're scheduling in their meal time, their activities, really everything. And when they do that, it helps them in many ways. First of all, it keeps them on track so they don't forget anything. It also helps them realize, you know, where is that free time? I mean, there will be some blocks that are empty and they know that, oh, I can do whatever I want then because nothing's scheduled. So it gives them some feeling of, oh, I still do get to do some things for myself and relax and just enjoy myself. And it, and it's just, as you said, it keeps them accountable to themselves because there's no parent there reminding them about the homework and the classes and all of that. So they really have to become totally responsible for themselves, and without some kind of planner, whether it's physical or virtual, it's going to be really hard to do that.
Yeah, you know, listening to your wise advice, I do have to smile and think, you know what, college is so much more than an education, right? Listening to what you're saying, they're learning how to adult. They're learning about how to be a productive citizen. It's not just about the education books that they're going to take away. They're, they're learning how to be a grown-up, right?
Absolutely. Actually, when you think about it, like, if they— if someone didn't go to college, then they're immediately having to do that in the workplace, right? So in a way, we're actually helping our kids by giving them this 4-year period of time to really become an adult and really become responsible and know how to handle themselves in life before they go out and totally unprotected territory, right?
I can't help but think about the nutrition piece of this. You know, they say it's the Freshman Ten or whatever you want to call it. I remember when my daughter went to University of Alabama and they had Fried Friday. Oh, every Friday in her sorority house they fried everything, and then they wore leggings and big t-shirts, and she came home at break and I'm like, I didn't say anything, of course, and I'm like, whoa, what happened? And then if you put alcohol on top of that, all of a sudden these kids are like changing before your eyes. Do you address that with, with students?
I do. I have a section about what healthy food is and why it's important, how it affects your mind and your focus and your energy and all of that. And so it's not just about the pounds. It's more about how you feel and how, how you'll— how productive you're going to be otherwise. Um, the interesting thing is when I start talking about that, especially with boys, I will say a lot of them don't even know what a fruit and a vegetable are.
Okay, this is getting interesting.
So I came up with this idea of saying What I would like you to try to do is put as many colors on your plate as possible. Fill your plate with as many colors as you, as you can. And the easy way to do that is to go to the salad bar first. So I have them going to the salad bar, picking out all the colors that they are willing to eat, and then they can go to the hot food line and, you know, get a hamburger or pizza or whatever. Um, but I think the first step is really having them understand why it's important. It's not because your mom always told you to eat more fruits and vegetables. There's a reason for it, and it's gonna— you're gonna feel much better and, and do better academically and in every other way if you're eating healthier.
So who is the ideal person to be successful in your program?
Ah, that's a good question. Um, my, my ideal person would be someone like right now in the summer before they go to college so that they get this whole kind of holistic, uh, set of habits and skills before they get to campus. Because once they get to campus, there's so much going on, and really I think most kids are really focused on making friends. Making sure they fit in, and they're not, you know, and all these other things can kind of just go by the wayside. But if they know it ahead of time, like, I really need to worry, think about how much sleep I'm getting, and I really need to plan my day— if they know all of that ahead of time and they practiced it before they got to college, they're just going to be ahead of the game. So that's— so one thing is the timing. And then the second thing is the student has to want to do it. I mean, I've had many parents love what they hear when they talk to me, but then their child is like, ah, I don't think I need it, or I just don't want to do it. And, uh, which is fine, but you know, then I— it saddens me when they come back to me later after their first semester of freshman year when they did poorly and they don't feel good about themselves. So yeah, I, so I really— whoever is listening here, I really love being proactive, and I think it, it's helpful for you. It's helpful for you and for your child because it gives you peace of mind. It gives your child a jump start on what to expect in college and makes them ready for it.
So beautiful. If you think about, we prepare them all the way through for 18 years, right? We— everything And then all of a sudden they turn 18, and what I've seen many a parent go, I'm done. And you're like, no, no, no, not yet, because we're approaching some very critical timing for sure. Well, Dale, it has been such a pleasure. Now, if there's people listening who want to get in touch with you and they're like, yes, I— that is my child, I really think they need a little bit of something something, how can they reach out to you? How can they get in touch?
The simple way to talk to me is to go on my calendar, and my, um, my link is talkwithdale.com. Okay, so hopefully that was easy to remember. And then I mentioned my Facebook group where we're talking about all these topics all the time. Anything related to college is going on in my Facebook group, and it's College Parent Support Community. And it's for you to join.
What parent doesn't need a little support when your kid's going to school? No doubt about it. Well, Dale, thank you so much for being with us. It's always a pleasure, and we just hope that every person out there considers what it's going to be like when their student leaves for college.
