New Podcast with Lisa Blaisdell- Love All Stages of Your Life

Parents, is your teen college ready? Are you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or excited about your teen applying to college? Do you know what colleges are looking for? And if your kid gets in, do you know what you'll pay for it? College admission has never been so competitive or expensive. Shellee Howard will take you on a journey to help you and your teen get college ready. Now here's your host, Shellee.

Hello, this is Shellee Howard with College Ready and Parents. It's your Teen College Ready podcast. Today I have an amazing guest, Lisa Blaisdell. Welcome to the show.

Oh, Shellee, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really— I'm excited. I'm excited to share.

So for our listeners, you have to know Lisa has been a friend and a client of mine, and I— hopefully she'll share a little bit of her daughter Sophie's story, but it is truly amazing. She's an empowering woman that I can't wait to share with you all. Without stealing her thunder, Lisa, can you share with our audience who you are and, uh, what you're doing?

I'm so honored to be here and to share, Shellee. So my name is Lisa Blaisdell. I am a mom of 2 grown daughters. My oldest will be 26 in about a week. She's also going to be having her first baby in about a week. So my role is going to go mom and grandma. I'm going to be saying, which is very surreal. My youngest is 22. She just graduated from the University of Washington up in Seattle. And we did partner with Shellee for well, 5 years ago now, which it's hard to believe. She's had an amazing experience and I'm so proud of her. She's moving to New York City at the end of the summer to start her career. And I have been an entrepreneur for over 20 years. I've been both in the PR world as a freelancer, and I locked arms with a network marketing company over 20 years ago. I spent 17 years building up a business there, left that company 3 years to move into more of a social selling model. Both businesses have been multimillion-dollar businesses. I love to help people get healthy. I love to help empower women. Um, in the last month or so, I've really been launching a coaching program for women because I personally have gone through so much personal change in the last couple of years, both leaving a company I had a long-term relationship, leaving a marriage that I was in for a very long time. Uh, and most recently I left the town that I was in for over 30 years, and I'm now living in Los Angeles. And it's been a lot of change and a lot of growth. And I just really love to help women become the best people that they can be. And I really do have a heart for women in our age group, Shellee, this midlife time. And I'm sure, you know, although your focus is with students, you know, just as a parent of a student that's about to embark in such a life-changing endeavor, it impacts us too. And as a mom that, you know, we wear hats and, and we're really defined by motherhood. The, the day that that baby's born, the minute that that baby is born, our whole life is defined in a different way. It can really present so many different challenges and opportunities for women when it's time for us to let our kids go and out into the real world. And I, I went through all of that. So I'm just really in a, in a place where I've had a lot of lessons, a lot of life, a lot of growth, and I'm so grateful to be on this side. And just have so much empathy for women and moms who are going through similar changes in their life.

Yeah. And that's why she's here.

Yes. And so I do live in Los Angeles. And yes. So that is me. That was a long intro.

Well, I think it's important, listeners, right? Parents, as you go through the different stages, I remember, right, Lisa, when our kids were toddlers and we're like, whoa, this is challenging.

Yep.

And then they go to school and you're like, wow, that went by fast. And then, then high school come and goes and you're like, what? That flew by.

Yes.

Now yours just graduated from college and once having a baby.

I know, I know. You know, there's a phrase, I'm sure you've heard this, the days are long but the years are short. And it's so true, especially when they're babies and they're little and the days are so long and you wonder how you're going to get through them. And but then you, you do, you blink and you're where we're at and it's like, oh my gosh, what just happened?

You know, for sure. So I always ask my guests, when you were in high school, take yourself, not your children.

Yeah, yourself.

When you were in high school, did you know that you wanted to be an entrepreneur?

No, no. I, I was modeled entrepreneurship because my dad was and still is. He has his own business. He's been an independent contractor, helping people remodel their homes and build their homes. He just turned 74 2 days ago. And he's, he's, he actually had an accident about a month ago. So he's slowly recovering from that. But he's working, he's not retired. And I just was really modeled a great work ethic and being your own boss. I mean, he was always home at the end of the day to take us to practices. He was always the coach for my brother's teams and even my sisters and my softball teams. He was present at everything. And we certainly weren't the wealthiest family in town, but we had— both my parents were present, and I always wanted that. And yet at the same time, we didn't have a lot when I was growing up, so I wanted to be able to provide more for my own family. And I knew that I wanted to be in business. I didn't exactly know what that was going to look like, but I knew that I wanted to you know, have more financial security than what I had when I was growing up, right?

Yeah. So, you know, fast forward, um, you, you're out of high school. At what point did you make it the decision that entrepreneurship is it for me and this is the path I'm going to take?

Well, I had a great career after I graduated from college. I went to a very expensive private school in Boston, Emerson College, that I really had no business going to if you looked mathematically at equation. But I'm very headstrong and I know what I want. And when I decide I want something, I pursue it with all that I have. And I wanted to go to that school. And I was really fortunate that I, you know, was able to land a really, you know, a good job out of college in New York City, even though it didn't pay me anything. It was, it was good for my career. And I, I had a great career in PR and I loved it and I thrived. And even though I was in very much a man's world in the tech industry, I was you know, it was— I was— my profession, public relations, was very women-dominated and driven. And so I had a lot of, you know, support. But it was— is like all of us, you know, that are women, and it's when I became a mom that I thought, okay, I can't keep this pace up, you know. I can't keep going on press tours back east, and I can't keep being at my clients' beck and call. And, you know, I really needed to design a life that had more flexibility, that had more really more flexibility so that I could work at the pace that worked for me. But at the same time, I had created a great income. We built a lifestyle around my income in Southern California. We owned a home at that time, and my husband at the time was looking at me like, well, you're not really— you can't really be a stay-at-home mom. We kind of need your income. So like so many women, I was really kind of at a crossroads as to how I was going to do this. And for a while, I did work full-time, and we had a nanny, and it was okay. And I was able to get myself into a work-from-home environment, which back in the late '90s was very unique. You know what I mean? It's like now our kids are working at home and hardly anyone's going to the office. But back in the day, there was a lot of fear around letting employees work from home. So I mixed up my status and I actually became a contractor so that I could have that flexibility. But it was really— I still wanted more. And I'm really proud of the fact that I didn't give up on the vision that I had for myself in terms of having a career, a thriving career that I felt fulfilled with, you know, having the income to continue to, you know, support my family and being present for, you know, both my girls. It was just one at the time, but both of them. And it wasn't like I needed to be with them 24/7. I knew that being a stay-at-home mom wasn't going to be enough for me. I did want to have a career of some kind, but I also knew that it just, it had to be able to work for me. And I just think that, you know, as I look at my daughter who's launching a career, like, I really hope that she hangs on to— and I think it's a lot, it's not easy, but it's, you know, having a flexible work schedule is a little bit easier now than it was, you know, almost 30 years ago. But I'm proud of the fact that I kind of dug in. I wasn't, you know, I wasn't willing to compromise. I'm like, no, I'm good enough so that I can continue to show up, add value to the marketplace, get paid for what I'm worth. And, and still be an active and present mom. And, and it just worked out. I mean, and I, and I was open, you know, and that was the thing too. And I know there's so many more opportunities now than there ever was for women, but at the time I fell into the network marketing industry and I'm so grateful that I didn't have a mis— I didn't have any perception of what it was, good or bad. I know that, you know, people have their opinions about it. And for me, I just fell into it. I wasn't really paying attention to it. I didn't know anything about it. I just fell in love with the product and I I just wanted to share it with my friends, and it ended up becoming a really successful career for me. So it wasn't for everyone, but for me, that was the path that allowed me to have the lifestyle that I wanted as a mom.

That's such a great story, and I'm hoping the listeners can lean in because the balance is something we talk about all the time. So now let's fast forward. You have two daughters. They're in high school, you're trying to help set them up for that life, and then you launch. What was that like for you?

Well, I will tell you, and this is really being— you say that I'm always open and honest and everything. It was really hard because my firstborn could be sitting right next to me and she would agree with me. My firstborn really wasn't ready to go to college when she was a senior in high school. She really wasn't. She's young for her grade. She was was barely 18 when she graduated from high school. You know, she did okay in school, but she really didn't know what she wanted in any direction at all. She was young and she just, she needed more time. But because I was in a culture that you just go to school, you know, I really was, I'm like, let's go, we're going down this road. And it really You know, if there's one thing that I could redo as a parent, I mean, that would probably be it. And it doesn't mean that she would never go to school, but it just wasn't the right time for her. Maybe junior college would have been a better option, having her stay home for a year, work and try to figure it out. But I did take her down that road and she was very reluctant. And so if, you know, and I know I want to promote you, Shellee, because you're so wonderful, but I had such a totally different experience with my second that I would just say to parents, you know, really pay attention to what your kids are, you know, what they're saying to you, because it's no small undertaking and it's a lot for everyone. It's not just the kids, it's the whole family is going through this undertaking of launching, you know, someone potentially off to college. And, you know, it did make her senior year a lot more stressful, which in hindsight I wish, you know, would have been a little different for all of us because it was stressful for her, it was stressful for me. She did do it, she did get off. It didn't, you know, it didn't stick, it take. And that's okay too, because it just, you know, she really taught me so much through those few years that she was away. And, you know, I always say our kids really are our greatest teachers. And I learned so much about her. And I'm so proud of her now because, I mean, I've always been proud of her, but I'm proud of what she's doing now because she's truly doing what she wants to do. And she's happy and she's fulfilled and you know, even though she's going down a road that you and I know is very challenging to become a parent, it doesn't matter how old you are. Um, she's ready and this is really what she wants to do. And I'm— and she's so much happier than when I was trying to take her down a road that just really, it was like a square peg in a round hole. It just wasn't a fit for her. And so it was— it can be bumpy, you know. I guess my message to your listeners is that it can be bumpy and You know, I'm a very headstrong mom. You know, I want what's best for my kids like everyone else. And, you know, I really did think that this would be best for her, but I was wrong. And, you know, I'm not, you know, too good to say that, to say that I was wrong and that I, you know, probably should have allowed her to take a different path. I mean, she didn't hardfast say no either because she knew that it was probably a good idea to do it. And I think there was a part of her that wanted to do it, but it wasn't a big enough part of her that wanted to do it.

I remember I met you right after this had been going on with your first.

Yeah.

And, um, and for your second, you're like, okay, different child. I remember you saying different child, different wines. What was that like parenting a child that was different from your first? Like, how did that play into it?

Well, it was, it was so different, and I don't want to say it was easier because it wasn't. Um, they're, they're all the same, but I think it's really when I realized, like, just because they're both the same sex, they're both girls, they were raised in the same house with the same parents, with the same values. You know, we basically did the same things. I mean, and I know everyone knows this as a parent, they're so different. You know, they're so different in how they show up. And my youngest was just, she knew what she wanted. You know, she was a, she was a stronger student academically. It, it's not that she's smarter, it just, it came easier to her. She was able to kind of, get on the grid of what her particular high school wanted from her, junior high and high school wanted from her. She was able to memorize and, you know, show up in that way. And she knew that she wanted a 4-year experience. She really did. And she wanted it from an early age. So, you know, it was like where I felt like I was dragging my firstborn. I really, I kind of had to hold on to the reins with, with Sophie because she was running the show and she was like, no, Mom, I want to do this and I want to You know, I want to do this. So, you know, it was a much, much different experience because she knew what she wanted. And, you know, again, I think that as a mom now that's a little bit older and just has watched, you know, both of my daughters bloom and grow and become who they really are, it just— they're so different. And I just want to, like, say less and listen more, you know, talk less, preach less, and just listen to what their needs are because they had at the end of the day have to stand on their own two feet and navigate their own lives. We really just have to get out of the way. I was a very strong, headstrong young woman at the time and just really wanted to kind of control the whole process. They both taught me in their own way that I just had to really let go and let them guide the way because it's their life. It really is their life. What they decide they want to do with it is totally up to them. You know, I mean, obviously there's the financial piece with going to school and stuff like that, and not every kid can have a choice in the matter. But I, because my school was so expensive when I went to college, and I did, I came from nothing, you know, and my parents flat out said, we cannot afford to send you to this school. So I took out loans, I worked a ton, I really, you know, I made a lot of sacrifices that the day my firstborn, I mean, literally like within the week I had set up a 529 college account for both of them because I thought, we're not going to do this the way that I did it. I want them to be able to go to school and have it paid for. And I'm proud. My husband and I both, you know, we were devoted to that. And it was a— it was a value for him, too. And so we decided as a family that that's what we were going to do. And we did.

So Sophie had a really successful application season. She worked hard. I mean, you were pulling back the reins on her and I was just right there beside her cheering her on and Yeah, we really talk about some of her gifts, her talents, her passions, and I didn't have that with your first. So I— not that I don't value both daughters, but I speak to one. So for, for parents who are listening, what advice would you give them, um, as it applies to preparing your child for college or applications or picking the right school or How do you navigate that, or how did you?

And I mean, I'm so thankful, Shellee Howard, that I met you and that I had you. I mean, you really were awesome in terms of just helping us navigate this massive— it really is, it's a big undertaking. And I would just say what I, what I just mentioned before, and just, I listened, you know. I did a better job the second time around because I was like, oh, I gotta, like, you know, the poor firstborns. I mean, we ruin our firstborn. Like, we just, you know, we do. We, like, we, we do all the things, we make all the mistakes, we realize what we did wrong, and then we're like, We gotta, we gotta do this better the second time. Um, and I only had two. I can imagine if I had three or four, then like by the fourth it would have just been like, you know, raise yourself, you know, whatever. But, um, no, I mean, I just, I, my advice would be just to listen to your kids and, you know, and, you know, you and I both raised our kids in a very upper middle class, very, you know, everyone's doing something great. It can be super easy to get caught up with what what your circle of friends are doing, what your neighbors are doing, and just, you know, put your blinders on. Your life is gonna be so much better when you don't care about what everyone else is doing. And the sooner, you know, we can teach our kids that just to, just to run their own race and to not look around at what everyone else is doing. Like, who cares what the name of the school is? I mean, it really, like, now, like, Sophie went to a wonderful, you know, school that has a great reputation, but she already has her first job. No one's going to care for the rest of her life what her degree is in, where her school is at. Like, none of it matters because now it's all about her resume and her work experience. Like, no one cares where I went to school. No one cares. You know, my ex-husband had also a very different path. He went to junior college for a long time and he ended up, you know, graduating from a state school. No one cares. He's had a really successful career and was a great provider for our family. And it doesn't matter. So, I mean, I know that's probably, you know, sometimes parents can get really caught up in that. Like, it's just about finding the right fit for your child and where they're going to thrive and be their best. And it's not always where you went to school. It's not always what your family legacy is. You know, it's maybe something that's really different. And, you know, I am really thankful that I didn't have any attachment to anything like that. I just wanted— but, you know, especially Sophie, I wanted what she wanted. And, you know, it just kind of all falls into place and whatever is meant to be will be. You know, whatever is meant to be will be.

So let's talk about the drop-off and the graduation, because those are two of like those deep, take a deep breath parent kind of moment. When you dropped off Sophie at college, what was your experience and what can you share?

It took like 4 times for me to really like drop her off. So she went away to a, at UW, it's a very different system. And they as freshmen are able to rush. First of all, it's the quarter system. So they start a lot later than a lot of the kids, you know, that, that your child might be graduating with. So, you know, UCLA, UW, there's a handful of the kids that are on the quarter system, and they're hanging around when all the kids have gone to school in August. So we put Sophie in— UW offers an early fall EFS, early fall start program where she took a class, it was like 4 credits or something like that. She was able to live in the dorm and she was able to go away and just kind of start college, meet some people. And then she was able to rush. Whether you agree with the Greek system or not, whether you agree with, you know, how it's done, that's just how UW does it. So she knew she wanted to rush and be in a sorority. So that's what we did. So we had that drop-off. Then I went up for rush and bid day because I wanted to help her move. I felt like I was going up there like a lot at the beginning. And I am very close to her. We're very close. And she was very active in high school. So she was a dancer. She was a competitive dancer. She was on the song team for high school. She was in National Charity League. We had a ton of events. She was just a really active kid. She made the most of all those years. And I was really by her side. I used to call myself her momager, like I was her mom and her manager. So there was a huge void when she left. And it was hard for me. I mean, I was excited for her and I had every confidence in her. I knew she was going to be fine. But it was a real void for me. And I had a lot of tears, a lot of, a lot of teary-eyed, you know, flights back to Orange County. And, you know, I think now about how much she's grown and how much I've grown. And, you know, our whole world changed, you know, her spring of her freshman year is when COVID hit. But as soon as she could get back up there, I wanted her back up there. And, you know, for her to have as much of an experience as she could, even though it was very dysfunctional for a while, just doing, you know, classes online and all of that. And, you know, thank goodness, that's all all behind us. Um, but graduation this time was very different. Our family looks very different now. You know, my, my— I went through a divorce during her time away at school, which was very hard, and she navigated it really well. I was really proud of her. And, uh, but yet we, you know, I have a really good relationship with my ex-husband. We're very amicable. And so we all got together as a family, and here my daughter's 8 months pregnant, my older one. She went up and it was really great, you know. And it was just really a wonderful kind of full circle moment where we could just celebrate how far we've all time as a family. And obviously Sophie worked so hard through college and having to do it through COVID was just really, really tough. I mean, she's a bio major, and she was doing like labs online. And, you know, it was just, it was just tough. And, but the good thing that came out of that was that she bonded, and this is what you just can't know as a parent, you know, we're just thinking academics, and what's the school going to do for my child's life and career. And, you know, really, and I think Sophie would agree with me that the the greatest gift she got out of her experience at UW was the women that she met, the girls that are her sorority sisters and are truly like her friends for life. And it was emotional for me watching them. It's kind of like, you know, us as parents having to say goodbye at the beginning. And they knew that they were going to have to say goodbye at the end. And it was hard because we've, you know, I love these girls. I've gotten to know them through the years and know their parents. And, and it was really special. And I feel really— I know she feels so grateful that she had this experience with these young women. And, you know, she's going to New York with a couple of them. A couple are staying in Seattle and just going their own ways. And it is, you know, it's its own little bubble. You know, college is its own little bubble in life, and some kids are more ready to leave it than others. And it's not that these girls weren't ready, but they were gypped of some time. And I think if I look at them, I'm like, gosh, I was so ready to be done and just get on with my life. And they, they could have— they could have handled another quarter or two, maybe, just because, you know, they really didn't have that. So You know, there was just so much growth that they had to experience and they all had to grow up really quickly through these 4 years. And, you know, I'm proud of all of the kids, the kids I don't know, the kids all over the country, you know, that really had to go through this. And I think everyone had their own journey and experience. And I really have faith that they're going to be a really strong generation of, you know, people. And of course, I'm biased because I have, I have young women and I'm really hopeful that these girls will just go in and, you know, really pave the way for women in our culture and continue to raise the glass ceiling and demand, you know, equality and just stick up for themselves in a way that maybe I didn't or couldn't at, you know, my young age, because they've had to go through a lot. You know, they've really had to go through a lot.

So fast forward now to now.

To now.

What are you doing now? I know you're going to be a grandma, and I know you're Shellee's mom. But what have you said? Let's talk about what are you up to now?

So it has been a lot of change in the last 2 years, especially. I moved out on my own for the first time since— I mean, I was trying to think, like, you know, when we were young and growing up and getting started, like, I couldn't live by myself. I couldn't afford to. I really didn't ever. And then I had roommates, and then I went from a roommate to living with my husband and, you know, raising a family. So I moved out on my own for the first time in 2021, the fall of 2021. And, you know, really went through a lot of growth, a lot of heartache, just leaving the family structure that I knew. And I had to really work hard on myself. I decided I was going to work hard on myself. I was going to take advantage of this time and just really figure out who am I in this next chapter and who do I want to be. I really poured into my business. I really focused on building my business and building my financial security. Because, you know, I'm on my own financially for the first time in almost 30 years. And, um, and just really showing up and just deciding, you know, what it is that I want. And, you know, reconnecting with old friends. And, you know, everything changes when you— as you know, if you go through a divorce, everything changes. And, you know, I was, I was prepared for that, like, not maybe as fully as I really, like, experienced, but I was prepared for that. I'm very, very fortunate that I have a very supportive family and, you know, really wonderful friends who were wonderful, but I just really took that season for me. And then a little over a year ago, I decided, all right, everyone, you know, the thing about divorce is that everyone wants you to just couple up again. I mean, I think we do live in a couple society and, you know, no one was saying, oh, Lisa, go enjoy and be single and take trips and everything. Everybody was like, when are you going to date? When are you going to date? When are you going to date? And like, I was like, you know, I wasn't ready until I was ready. I really just, I knew myself. I just needed to heal. I needed to get through my own stuff because I didn't want to bring anything into a new— into anything that was new, you know. But I also wasn't looking for anything at all. And I'm a big believer that when you just like kind of, you know, low— not lower your expectations, but just don't have expectations, when you just trust God, the universe, whatever you believe, and you just kind of take steps and you're like, all right, I'm going to try this, then it's just amazing what can happen. Because I did put myself on a dating app. I was very naive, and I was very— I had no expectations. I certainly did not want a relationship, but I went out with a guy that turns out to be my soulmate in every way. And it is kind of a crazy story because he was literally the first person that I went out on a date with, and I live with him now in Los Angeles. And I have the kind of love in my life that I didn't think was ever going to be possible. And, you know, it's not like I didn't have a wonderful chapter part 1, um, but this chapter is very different because, you know, neither one of us have young kids anymore. Our kids are grown. And yes, I'm going to have this grandbaby, but it's not my baby, it's my daughter's baby. And we're just so, you know, we're just really happy. And yet with that though, there's always things to learn, there's always things to, to grow and work through. And I am definitely adjusting to living in a very different place, even though I'm only 55 miles north of where I used to live. There's a lot that I miss, and, you know, just really digging in and looking for new women friends and connections and stuff. And in a lot of ways, it's, it's like I'm starting over, but I get to decide what I want it to look like. Even though I am in a relationship, I mean, he's wonderful and gives me so much freedom and flexibility to do, you know, whatever it is that I need to do to be happy. But I went into this already very happy with myself and very content and very much willing to be alone for whatever, however long. I had no expectations. And I think that's why it kind of happened easily for me, because I just didn't have any expectations. And I also had really high standards. I knew what I wanted and what I didn't, what I wasn't going to tolerate. And it just kind of showed up. So I'm still running my online Modere business. And I also, because I had so many women that have come to me, especially in the last, like, I'd say like 9, 10 months since they've seen me, you know, kind of get to the other side and be happy and, you know, just, just really be my— the most authentic I've ever been. You know, they've asked me for support. And so I do. I want to— I really want to help coach women and help them get through a lot of the transitions that I think women our age go through, whether it's with their career or relationships. And, you know, certainly I'm, I'm I'm not like pro-divorce at all. I, I admire my friends that can really reinvent themselves and, you know, reconnect after so many years and have that part 2 when the kids are older. Um, I really do. I think that's amazing. But I think those women still have their own set of like, okay, now what am I going to do for me? You know, what am I going to do for me? And I just really want to help empower women to be able to make the decisions that they want for themselves, have the finances to do it, you know, to be able to be independent, say, I'm going to live my life exactly how I choose to. I'm very fortunate that because I didn't give up my career, I was able to walk away and still have a career and still have a good income. But I really do want to help women just really just be the most authentic that they can be. Because when we are, then we just— this world is better. I mean, when women are happy and moms and wives and all women are empowered and feeling like they can really be themselves, then I just think this world is a lot better off. And we can do a lot more.

Wow, that is a great summary for our show.

You're so cute.

If, um, if somebody just needs to reach you, something struck a chord, they're like, she gets me, how can they reach you?

So I'm on all the social platforms, Lisa Blaisdell on Instagram, Lisa Blaisdell on Facebook. Lisa Beth Blaisdell on TikTok. They can email me, Lisa, lisa@blaisdell.com. My name is kind of everywhere. Um, and I do, I love to connect with women. I, I really do. I really have a lot of empathy for women, and I've had a lot of women, you know, like I said, reach out to me. And, um, so yeah, I would love to, to connect with any of your listeners that want to talk to me about anything, especially how wonderful you are, Shellee, because because I, I'm so grateful that we've been able to maintain our friendship. And, you know, I love supporting you. I know how hard you work for families. I know how much you care about kids and helping them get to the right place post-high school. And you just did such a great job for our family. You made the process so great. And, um, I just, I just think that what you're doing is, is really important because it's a, it's a huge, it's a huge deal. It's the biggest decision that parents will make with their up into that point, you know.

So, yeah, well, thank you, Lisa, and thank you, listeners. And remember, plan now so you don't have to worry later. Thank you so much.

Have a wonderful— thank you.