New program! CR Future Now

Okay, we're here live. It's Dale Troy, the owner of this group, and I'm here again to talk to you about something that I know nothing about. So I've, I've invited one of my friends. She's been on here before, Shellee Howard, and we are going to talk about college majors and a career destination, what your child can be thinking about now. Before, you know, before it's like at the end of college. So let me tell you a little bit about Shellee, and then we're going to get going. And as Shellee knows, there are people here at all levels or all aspects of college admissions, some in high school, some who are already in college. So this conversation can be helpful for anybody, really. So I encourage you to, to listen to us. So Shellee Howard is a certified independent college strategist and counselor. And her company is called College Ready. She helps middle and high school students as well as their parents, of course, by preparing them for the college admissions process and all aspects of the college admissions process. She helps them create a standout strategy, get into their best fit college without going into debt. So, in fact, last time I had Shellee here, we talked about the financial aspect and how important that is to think about that. Before you're even deciding where to apply. So this conversation is kind of similar. We're going to talk about like what you should be doing, thinking about in terms of choosing colleges based on college major and career. So welcome, Shellee Howard, again.

Thank you so much for having me.

You're very welcome. I'm glad to have you here because this is really important. I've noticed recently, actually in the last probably 2 years, that more people are talking about the importance of really knowing what your college major is. And before that, I mean, it seemed like it was okay for kids to just go undecided. And in, in fact, my 3 daughters who've graduated from college, you know, they, they didn't— we didn't really make a big deal about thinking about the college major. It was just like, well, what do you feel like doing? Um, so tell me, first of all, for everyone listening here, why is it important? And why, like, what, what has changed? Why, why is it so important for kids really have more of a direction before they start college?

That is a very deep and wide subject, but I will try to top-line it.

Okay.

I always like to start with my why. My why is I have been getting so many students post-COVID that are stressed out, overwhelmed, a little bit anxious, a little bit depressed because they're feeling they lost a year. What does that feel like to lose a year? They feel really behind, like they should know everything. The sad part is, is we know they don't need to know everything, but in their mind they just feel like they're, they're really spinning in this cyclone. And so I, I started to notice it every single call as one of their, their big pain points. And as a parent of 5, young adults, I know that each one of my kids had a different path. My first knew exactly what he wanted to do in 8th grade. It was a miracle, and he's doing it. He's now an orthopedic surgeon. My second, she knew about 9th, almost 10th grade, and she is living her dream. She didn't change her major. She's a registered nurse working in the pediatric emergency room. So I'm thinking, how in the world did they know that? Like, and then I started looking at our conversations. I started looking at my parenting style in how I help them to explore their gifts, their talents, their core values, and the things to start to bring them closer to what is that look like for them. My second two are my stepkids, and so I got them later in life, and so they didn't have the benefit of me raising them. And so I, I realized, wow, different parenting style, different situation. So I had to fast forward on those two young adults. And my, um, stepson, he just really fell in love with the whole news and broadcasting. And, but he's like, I have no idea, what does that look like? Do I want to write? Do I want to be in front of the camera? Like, he was just spinning. That's when it got real for me that I needed some techniques and some tools and some focus. Then his sister, a year later, the baby of the family, is like, well, I have an orthopedic surgeon, I've got a nurse, and I've got a— I don't want to do any of that. And I'm like, uh-oh. That's when it— and she was part of the COVID generation. And so I saw her go through a year and a half of really spinning out of control, not knowing how to navigate this. That's when I said, this is a real thing. Like, it— I'm starting to see this every single conversation. How do I help them? And just like how I started College Ready, it was helping my son navigate how to get into the top-tier schools. So I'm like, okay, I've got to do something. So I went and I got certified through two career programs. Then I started like, okay, here's some tools, but I still need to have the element of they're a person, they're not just fill in the bubble. And so I actually got to use my major, which was interpersonal communication in college, to help them get really clear on their values, their gifts, their talents, their annoyances, like Who are they? And so between my background and my certifications, I started seeing a pattern that it comes down to financial awareness. These kids are graduating from high school, most of them not knowing how much it's going to cost to live on their own. This was a common denominator across every student I was talking to. So they're thinking, I want to be an artist because I want to follow my passion. And I would ask them, great, how much money do artists make? And how much— how long will you have to work for free till you get your first job? And they're like, I don't want to work for free. And I'm like, well, let's talk about that career in a 5-year plan and a 10-year plan and taking on a loan. And all of a sudden I realized there's this massive ravine between what students are learning in high school and what we're expecting them to graduate with. And all of a sudden it's like, if the parent's not talking about it, and it is a hard subject to talk about, woo! Do you see? It's wide open. So that is how we got started.

Wow. Okay. I just too, um, so when, so given all of that and given your parenting style that really helped your kids kind of figure it out, almost figure it out on their own, it sounds like, like what, when is the ideal time to really start talking about, are we, are we talking about middle school, high school? And you know, how much do you you know, how do you guide them?

So a couple of thoughts on that. Since every child matures at a different age, I don't really want to put in a number on it, but when your child starts showing signs of, right, I'm really fast, or I'm not afraid of heights, or they start to differentiate themselves from the crowd, And they start to recognize. So I always take my students back to the day that I— or the era I grew up where we would play on the streets until the lights turned on. And we would figure out, am I fast or slow? Do I like to braid hair? Do I like, you know, to ride bikes? Like, you just kind of like, you just played. And there were no cell phones and there was no need for TV in the daytime. So you really got clear that I'm good at some stuff and I'm not good at some stuff. And so it just came very natural to us. The other thing is it was acceptable to fail. Like, it was okay in my generation to not be good at everything. This generation, with social media and the bar being so socially high, these kids think they have to be perfect, and they're scared of failing. So they don't really know what they're not good at because they don't want to try it because they might fail. So I hate to put a number on it because I've met some kids in 5th grade who knew they were spelling bee champion.

Woo!

They just had a memory like no tomorrow. That's a gift. That is a true skill and a talent that they can use for the rest of their life. So does it come with a certain number? No, it comes with a certain level of maturity.

Okay, okay. So if I'm, if I'm a parent listening, what, um, you know, where, where do I begin? So say I, I agree with everything that you're saying. Are the, you know, you said, you mentioned tools. Are there some basic tools to kind of give your child some direction if they really if they say, you know, I really don't know what I want to do with myself in the future, and I don't even know where to start. I don't— I only know like what my dad does and what my grandfather does, and I don't, I don't know anything. Like, how do you help them understand the world better?

So we have a conversation. It's not a test, it's just a conversation. And what I tell them is, I'm like your baseball coach, I'm like your piano teacher, I'm like I'm your acting school. I'm here to help you. That's it. So we start there. So a parent's got to be in that same position. The other thing is it's a non-judgment zone. I'm very clear. It does not matter to me if you want to be a ballerina or fly to the space. Like, I really— it doesn't matter. So you have to set that foundation. It's a little harder as a parent because they think you are not telling them the truth. They think you have an ulterior motive, and you might, but you know, those are foundations. From there, I simply ask them, if you woke up on Saturday morning and you could do anything in the entire world, what would it be? Hmm.

Wow. I don't even know what I would do.

Yeah. So If they don't know, it's time to start putting them in little situations. Do they wanna do community service? Do they want to do a sport, play music? Little things, right? Remember when they were 3 and 4 and we're like, "Oh, do you wanna do ballet or baseball or soccer?" And we're like, "Try, try, try, try." And then all of a sudden we kind of pull back and now they're like, "Ah, I still don't know what I wanna do." So there are things, you know, spend a day with mom or dad at work. Whoa, you'll learn a lot. I like this and I don't like that. And as soon as they can say, I don't like that, we're making progress, right? A lot of times how my children did it is we started volunteering when they were 3. As soon as they could communicate and they could understand giving, we started volunteering together. What I would talk about at the end is I would like, what did you like about that? Oh, I love playing with that puppy. And that was not even part of the volunteer experience, right? But that's what they liked. Or I really didn't like how we stood around a lot. It was boring. Those are key indicators of their personality, who they are, the things they value. So it's really just putting them gently in situations that they can find out, do I like to lead or follow? That's kind of an important thing to figure out. Am I a quiet leader or do I just like to follow? Because those are different. So as soon as I can guide the student through this visual of— I don't say, what do you want to do when you grow up? Because they'll go, I don't know. 9 out of 10, I don't know. And then they'll say, oh, I want to be an engineer. And I'm like, awesome, why? I don't know. So you have to be careful of if they just say something, to not just let it be, but to ask, "That's really exciting. Why do you want to do that?" Is it something that a math teacher might have said, "Oh, you would be a great engineer," but they still have no idea? Is that chemical or mechanical? Or somebody will say, "Oh, you like Legos? You should be an engineer." So we have to be careful, right? Like, is it something that somebody told them and they still don't know why? Or is it truly something that they have figured out they like or they don't like? That could start at any age. Yeah, that's true.

So are there— I mean, there's so much stuff online. So are there places where you can go to, like, to learn more about different careers? Even because, you know, you can't possibly go visit 20 different businesses with somebody tagging along. And so it— are there some easy ways to kind of get started on that, in that aspect?

So, um, what I tell students is when they go to the dentist, watch what the assistant does, watch what the desk clerk does, watch what the dentist does. Do you like any of that? When you go to the grocery store, You see the person stalking? You see the person ringing? Do you like any of that? So you're actually out seeing things more than you think you are. It's just being aware of their surrounding and having those open-ended conversations. You know, that lady was nice. Well, what was nice about her? And let the— it's not a yes or a no. It's having them to self-evaluation. You know, there are probably a zillion tools out there, and I've read every book on this subject. And what I will tell you is the most important thing is open-ended communication with your child is really the key here. I mean, there's so many— I have so many assessments I could put these kids through, but I will tell you a very quick story. My son, who's an orthopedic surgeon, when I, when I was figuring this out, I had him do 4 assessments, and one of them said he should be a grape farmer. Oh, and he hates dirt. So we just got a good chuckle out of it, and we're like, oh, that's kind of funny. But if you think about it, he loves to use his hands, he loves to create. There's certain things you can take from each thing, but on the surface it was like, I'm not gonna be a great farmer. So evaluations can be helpful, but it's not the end-all because if nobody explains the evaluation to the child, now they just know that I'm labeled as something, but I don't know what to do with the label. So that's really where parents tend to get frustrated is, okay, great, they've been labeled an IFT TP or whatever that, you know, 4-letter word is, and they don't know what to do with it. So what we do in our program is we first, we talk about their core values, their gifts, their talents, their annoyances, what they like, what they don't like, like a conversation. We use 2 assessments that I absolutely love, and then we meet and we talk about what did you learn from doing the assessment? What did you learn because of the assessment? And what major and career would ultimately be the best fit for you? And bonus, how much money will that career make? And can you live the lifestyle you're used to? That is how we're able to wrap it up where it's useful. So many times an evaluation is not useful. It's just more information that makes them more confused.

Right. So how do I guess what I'm wondering is how do you go from understanding your values and what you like and don't like to actually coming up with a major? Like, that seems like a leap.

So when you get really clear on who you are and why it matters, I'll give you an example. Do you, do you name any core value? I don't want this to be something like I've pre-thought up. Okay, any core value, and I can help you understand how the process works.

I'd say, um, being honest and, and, you know, very straightforward and honest.

Okay, so honest and integrity, they go pretty much hand in hand. And so a student who has a deep core value of honesty struggles in sales, absolutely struggles. So we can pretty much knock that little layer off. Then we look at, you know, who uses that. Lawyers tend to really focus on, you know, I want to do justice because they were not, or they were. So we, we then put them in, have you tried peer court? Have you been able to advocate with your integrity and your honesty to create change? Well, no. Well, let's, let's explore that. So you can take a core value, and any of them— I have done it with students, any core value— and really help them to start peeling back the layers. It's just the, the first step in the process. It's not the go from here to here, but it's the first time that the students really started thinking about What is important to me? When I ask students what core values are, most don't know what a core value is. Okay, so we have to really go down to the foundations. Then I take every core value and I go through a process where they get down to their top 5. Then we rank them from 1 to 5. Well, if their number 1, right, is family, that's going to lead them a very different direction than if it was fun. So that is how we start them. It's really self-analysis, but nobody's ever done it with these kids. It's not taught in school. Most families, that's not something they talk about at the dinner table. So where would they learn this unless they've been to therapy? Yeah, probably not very often talked about, and that's why I think this is so incredibly valuable for this particular generation because they spend so much time on the computer and on their cell phone. They're not testing what do I like, what do I don't like. They just spend that time scrolling and seeing what people want them to see.

That's so true. And also, I think they're trying to fit in so much, but they're not really being true to themselves.

Yes. And just think of if you were to get really clear on who you are and why you matter, and what does that look like for your future? And then you get to your future and you're actually living your core values. Life would be so much fuller, so much richer. My students who've gone through this program go in with their, their first major and graduate with their first major. It is absolutely foolproof. Do students change? Yes, absolutely. And if you start this when they're 3, it's going to change when they're 5 and when they're 9, and absolutely. But it gives them a sense of foundation and then opportunity to go and explore other things. And I always told parents especially, allow them those gentle failures so they learn how to pick themselves up and to be tenacious and to learn that, that resiliency that they're going to need in the world, right? And so that's part of what we're trying to help the students understand is They're like, well, I've never done that. I'm like, that's okay. And they're like, oh, but I might fail. Well, that's okay. And so a lot of times they don't wanna try things. I'm telling them, try it. Hmm.

Okay. No, and that makes so much sense to me. And I, and I suppose also say somebody did like sales and they decided to major in business marketing or something like that. They could pivot a little and still be in that arena. But, you know, maybe they decide, well, I want to use my creativity and I want to do advertising. Um, so yeah, at least they've narrowed it down quite a bit, right?

Instead of, I have no idea. I have one student, I've had her since she was a freshman, and she is a professional opera singer. She's young, she's a— she's this little tiny thing, and her voice is so huge, but yet she is passionate about the environment.

Yeah.

So she's struggling with her career, right? She's like, I love the environment, but I'm really gifted at opera. And we're, we're having to spend a lot of time evaluating what does that look? Will one of them turn into a hobby and one of them be a career? Mm-hmm. Right? So that we're not trying to like force them down one path. We're like, let's, let's explore. If you like botany, what can you do? What are your options?

Right?

It's not telling them no, don't, don't be a botany— botanist.

So yeah, so when you get to that point with a student, do you have them like research what does a botanist do and learn more about it?

I actually, I do that for them.

Okay.

So I bring it to them. As you know, if you go on Google and you have a sore thumb, you have thumb cancer. So I'm really cautious not to send them into the deep, dark hole. So what I do is I take the things that they're open to and they're leaning towards. And then I bring them to them and I'm like, here are the statistics. One, in 5 and 10 years, will this still be a job or career? That's important to know, right? Two, is there a job called that major? An example, psychology, great major, no job if you just graduate. So I want them to know that it takes more school And then finally, what is the short-term pay and the long-term pay? And what does that mean to them? Do they want to buy a car every year, or do they not even care about possessions? Whoa, that's a very interesting conversation that every parent should listen to.

Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so, wow, I've learned a lot, and I'm sure everybody else has as well. So I know we've kind of indicated that you, you know, about your program, but we haven't really been very specific. So what is, what is it called? And if somebody wants to learn more about it, what would they, what would they do?

Absolutely. So the program is called CR Future Now, and it really stems from starting to think, I'm getting ready for college. Am I college ready? But I need to know right now who I am and why I matter so my essays will be amazing, so my major, my top 3 picks will actually be at the school I'm applying to. Yesterday I spoke to a student, looked at their list, and there was no— his major was not on his colleges. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is, this is a tragedy. So the program is really the precursor to planning for college because it's going to make that process so much easier. And so that program, I'm happy to help any parent who's trying to figure that out. Um, there's a great quiz, it's totally free, that I created so you can see if your student could, could benefit from understanding this, and it's college-ready-plan.com/quiz. So if you go there, totally free, it will help you to get clarity. Would this help my child? The other way to get clarity is when you ask them, what do you want to do? And they go, I don't know, or they get frustrated. I want to talk about it. That's the other response. That is the student that does the best through the program. So feel free, uh, the website is college-ready-plan.com. It is a subdivision of our, our program for college, and we would be happy to give you a free discovery call to see if this would be a good fit for your student.

Okay, that's awesome, and I will put the link to the quiz in the, in the comments so nobody has to worry about that. Um, well, this has been fantastic, Shellee. As always, you're full of great information. And yeah, if I had to do it over, I definitely would have my kids think about this ahead of time before they even applied, because this is not what we did at all.

It saves a lot of heartache and tears and frustration when they know what they want. They're confident. Woo! For all those kids that are, are anxious or depressed, it's like a deer in headlights. They see this car coming at them and they're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do, and they panic. This is the opposite of panic. It is giving them a sight into what the future brings, and they're in charge, right?

And it just makes it much more exciting rather than scary.

Absolutely.

But they have a direction that makes everyone feel much better, for sure.

Absolutely.

So thank you again, and Lou, I'm sure we'll talk to you soon. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye-bye.