Podcast-Guiding Teens to Career Readiness: Insights with Traci Bakenhaster from Adulting University

Hello, this is Shellee Howard, the founder and CEO of College Ready, and today we're going to talk on parents, is your teen college ready? We have an amazing guest. She comes with a lot of skills, parents, that you're going to want to listen. So welcome to the show, Tracy Bacon Haster. Okay, got it. All right, can you go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, first, thank you so much, Shellee Howard, for having me. I am so excited to, to be able to be on your podcast and be able to just help parents, right? That's what we'd like to do. So I am Tracy Bacon Haster. I own Adulting University, which basically is a place that supports homeschooled preteens and teenagers and their families on all things career, college, life skills. Not the level of college that, uh, Shellee Howard does, but we do have some curriculum to help students that are in that space that are looking for some just kind of exposure to it. But really, our bread and butter is definitely the life skills and the career exploration, career readiness. We love that space and just getting help students figure out what they want to do and helping them be prepared for life after high school, whichever way they go.

So the question then I ask is, did you know you would be doing this when you were in high school?

Nope. I always tell people, if you would have told me even as a young adult, like if you look at, you know, 10 years ago would ask me if I would own my own business, I would have probably laughed and been like, you're funny. Like, no, I'm going to just make my career in higher ed and just be, you, you know, a director or eventually, you know, VP maybe. And that would be, that would be it. And the whole reason the business even came into picture was because I was working with a ton of students in higher education, was spending a lot of time in the high schools with teenagers and realized, man, they're going down the very same route I did where I had no clue what I wanted to do. I changed my major 100 times. I took out all the college debt because I didn't know any better, made a lot of poor financial decisions, like just all the things that you're not supposed to do, but nobody told me that.. And I didn't know how to learn those things cuz they didn't teach in school, you know? And seeing that there really frustrated me and I was like, well, why don't I just help? I mean, I've been doing this stuff, I've been a resume writer for years. I've worked in the careers and industries. And so that's kind of how it came into play. And it wasn't something I was planning on making a thing like, oh, just help some students here on the side. And now it's just like this full-blown company, which is awesome.

Yeah, there, there's a huge need. Right? Like, these kids had 2 years where their lives were put on pause. So we're finally seeing the repercussions of what pause can do to teenagers and younger. And so as a parent of 4, I actually— my kids were graduating during the pandemic. So we had just sailed, just finished up solid. But obviously, after 17 years, I've seen different struggles over the years, and this one is definitely something that I'm seeing every single call. So what is that struggle? What do I want to do for the rest of my life? And the hard part is colleges are going to force them to make a decision, not all the time, but a good portion of the time. So my question to you is, I'm listening, parent, and I want to know, how do you do this? How do you get them to figure it out?

Yes, and I get— I do get that question a lot of like, hey, how the heck? I just see it, a lot of parents just asking like, how do I help my kid figure out what they want to do? And my methodology with everything we do, we go by a pillar system. We have like our 4 pillars that make up our business. One of them is career exploration. And when I look at career exploration, there are 4 primary areas of that, right? We have our self-awareness piece, which is the foundation. Your kiddo You got to know who they are, what their strengths are, what their passions are, their values, you know, the things that make them them. Because if they don't understand that, then how are they ever going to find the right career path, right? So that foundational piece, then going into the goals. What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? What kind of, you know, career goals do you have? Do you want to work your way up a ladder? Do you want to own a business? Or are you cool with just working in the background? Like helping them really identify those things. And then that's when you start to actually explore careers because now you have a place to go instead of looking at millions of careers like, what the heck, where do we even start with this? Now you've been able to take what you've learned as a, you know, that self-awareness and then start to explore careers from it. And that's when you go into the research piece, getting hands-on internships and all those things. But so many people skip over all of that and they're like, well, I, I, or they just pick one piece. Well, I'm really passionate about video games, so I think I'm gonna be a video game designer. And it's like, but is that really the best option? I mean, it's great you like video games and that's, you're going the right direction, but that's not all the pieces. And so I think just helping your kiddo really find find who they are, what they love, what they're good at, and where do all those kind of overlap, and then start to look at careers that have those skill sets.

So again, my mom, my mom mindset pops up, and I'm thinking, that sounds really great, Tracy, but when I talk to my children about their gifts, their talents, and all of the stuff you just said, they just say, I don't know, and they shrug their shoulders, and they're off and running. So Help me understand, what is your magic secret sauce that I'm completely missing out as a mom?

Well, and I can tell you this as a mom too, the secret sauce is your mom. At the end of the day, I mean, I can get students to open up and answer those questions by asking the right questions, because that's what I'm trained to do, right? I'm a coach. I know how to ask questions to get students to open up, to have those kind of conversations, and have them just start having those realizations that mom may not be able to have. And even if mom knows the right questions to ask, sometimes kiddos don't like to talk to mom about this stuff. And I think that's one of the biggest struggles. Like, parents are like, I want to help my kid.

Cool.

But we've all been there. We've all been teenagers. And even when we had great relationships with our parents, we didn't always listen. And I've seen so many parents where they're like, well, I can't even tell my teen that I think this career would be good for them because then they're going to immediately go the opposite direction. Like, yeah, so it's just sometimes it is that an outside person that's not you that is working with them or teaching them this stuff or asking those questions. But sometimes it is just learning, okay, how do I be a coach? How do I ask questions that are open-ended and not so broad? Like, what career do you like? Oh, they're gonna have no clue. But it's like, hey, what's your favorite class? What's your favorite subject? Well, why is that class your favorite? And like, just start to ask them, or, hey, I've really noticed you do spend a lot of time doing this. Can you tell me more about it? Like, what gets you excited about that? You have to know the right questions to ask. And I think that can be challenging as parents because we're not career coaches if we haven't been trained in it.

Absolutely. And I love that explanation. I get a lot of times where, um, a student may think they want to do something. An example would be, uh, they're good at math, they used to play Legos, so, you know, I'm going to be an engineer. And how do you help that young adult navigate they think they know based on somebody telling them, you're good at math, and, or, you know, you like Legos when you were little, maybe you should be an engineer. Like, that's a whole nother challenge.

Yep. And that's where part of it is teaching our kids to be their own person, have their own voice of, okay, cool, I appreciate somebody told me that because I don't have that direction. But now teaching them to do their own due diligence to go look into that career and saying, okay, That's great. And that might be the best career, but how do you know? So how do you know is by going and like learning about it, but then going and talking to people, going and doing a summer camp where you can try out engineering because you might be like, this isn't for me now that I've actually done it, which is, I'm sure as you know, why you see so many students go into college, change their major because they finally tried it out and saw it and they were like, oh, this isn't for me. And now they're lost and confused and overwhelmed and stressed out and all these things. 'Cause now they feel like a failure or they screwed up. Or they keep pushing through even though it's— they know it's not right for them because of their pride and they don't want to disappoint mom and dad. So figuring this stuff out in the beginning and having students, if they have some careers of interest, that is awesome. Have them go learn about it because it'll be very eye-opening when they learn how much money they're going to make coming out. Do they need a college degree? Like what? What's going to get them to that job? And then what does that job actually look like? And seeing people in the field or talking to people in the field is very eye-opening for students. I mean, even like manufacturing. I love to use this as an example because when I was in higher ed, I did a lot with the manufacturers and we would take students on tours and their eyes are just like mind blown. Like they didn't realize because the picture they had in their head was not at all what they were seeing. And that's what every student experiences. They might have this little picture in their head of what a career looks like, but until they go see it, talk about it, all the things, they really don't know.

So you touched on a hotspot. At College Ready, we really focus on the financial return of an education.. And we want to make sure that if a student is going to take on any kind of debt, how long will it take to repay? Is it good debt or is it not good debt? And the financial literacy piece. So let's talk a second. I had a student the other day who we were talking, um, I think her parents told me she wanted to be a botanist and they said, can you please stop her? And I'm like, I can't really stop her, but let me help her with perspective. And so I showed her how much a botanist would make, and she's like, $20,000, that's awesome! And then I, I could see Dad sitting next to me like, do you see my problem? And I simply said to her, why do you want to be a botanist? She goes, oh, I care a lot about the environment. And all of a sudden we went a totally different direction. How often does that happen to you?

All the time. All the time. Because like you said, it's that perspective too of, well, you're thinking this just because you like this, but did you know there's also 50 other careers out there that because you like nature could make you more money or be a better fit for you? So yes, I get that all the time. And honestly, what I love to do with students too with that is kind of show them financially, because I'm a financial coach and we teach a lot of financial literacy in our programs. And so I'll have students make a budget, but I won't have them put salary in first. I'll let them pick all their expenses. Like, do you want to rent? Do you want to own? Like, here's a list of the average expenses for these in the US. Granted, my list is just in the last 6 months, needs updating because of inflation, but I'll have them pick all that and they'll fill out their budget. And I'm like, cool, okay, so what career do you want to go into? Okay, awesome. Well, let's go look it up. What's your starting salary? I have them take out taxes, benefits, all the things. And then I'm like, cool, put your monthly up in the top. What's the bottom say? And more times than not, they're they're like $500 to $2,000 over budget. And then it just clicks because now they're seeing it like, oh, oh. And I'm like, yeah, and then you throw in college debt on top of that if you aren't smart about it, or, you know, and you're not doing the right things with scholarships or going to the colleges that you can realistically afford. And like you said, taking out a little student debt that's going to have a good return makes sense, but if you're taking out $100,000, you're gonna make $20,000, it doesn't make sense.. And so having them just simply just figure it out on their own by just walking through those steps sometimes is the game changer where they're like, oh, didn't realize things were so expensive. I had one girl actually who was, she was a junior going into her senior year and she was like, I had no idea how much my parents actually pay for stuff. I have a whole new perspective and respect for them when I ask for stuff now because I didn't even have any realization before.

Yeah, so we obviously, we deal with a similar type of client, similar, similar student. Do you ever get the situation where the student is so good at a lot of things that's part of the problem, right? It, it's not like they're just good at one thing so they can rule out all this other stuff. How do you help that kind of student?

So I love those kinds of students because that was me. I was the unicorn student that I had. I mean, even when you people look at my resume now, or what I do on my business, and I also coach for other companies, and I do all these different things. And people are just like, you're so strange. Like, usually this is not normal to be logical and analytical and creative and all. I'm like, I know, but this is just how I was created. So, and a lot of the time it's almost easier in a sense when you look at it at a perspective of they're not picky, they could go in a lot of different directions. And when they're open to it and they're good at it, they could just kind of transfer around. And they, they have now the opportunity to explore a lot of different things and get a lot more well-rounded skill set. Um, then saying, no, I don't like this one, don't like this one, don't like this, you know, where they're narrowing, narrowing, narrowing so much that then they pigeonhole themselves and there's still no guarantee they'll get into that career field. So I actually love working with those students, and I think it's just helping them look at it more from a skill development versus a career path. It's okay, what are your favorite skills? Like, what do you love to do, and can we create something? And sometimes it's creating something. Sometimes those are your entrepreneur kids who are like, I just need to own my own business and I don't need to do this other thing, or they need a job that does wear a lot of different hats, like project management or something. So it's sometimes more specific roles or job sets versus an actual career path, which is kind of a little bit of a different take sometimes.

So let's switch gears now. I had a student, uh, this morning, and when I got on the call, I always have fun with it. I'm like, so do you want to go to college? And she says, No. And I'm like, wait, do you know what I do? Did your parents like make you come here? And she was like, I'm an influencer and I'm just going to keep being an influencer and I make more money than my parents make. And how many influencers do you get? Because this morning I was like in shock. I did not know what to say.

So here's the, here's the thing. How many do I get that are successful? I would say none. How many have I gotten that want to be influencers or YouTubers? A lot, especially the younger kiddos, like the middle school age, junior high, early high school. That is like a big thing for them. Like, I want to be— my son, I mean, he's 11. He's like, I'm going to be a YouTuber, a professional soccer player. I'm like, awesome, buddy. And you know, here's what you got to do to get to those things. What are some other plans just in case? And I think that sometimes as parents, what we get, we struggle of we want to shoot down that dream because we don't think it's very realistic and it very well might not be. And it's not— you're encouraging false dreams per se. You're encouraging their desire to do that. And it's saying, okay, cool, you want to be an influencer? What does it take to be an influencer? Like, what do you need to do? Do you know? And they're going to probably be like, I don't know, I have to get on social media and get lots of views. Okay, cool. How do you do that? And you just start asking the questions and they'll either talk themselves out of it. They'll start to be kind of like, oh, you know, it's going to be a lot harder than I thought. And it's like, hey, if you really want this, go for it, but you're going to have to do all these things. And if you're not committed to doing these things, it's not going to happen because that's the reality of it. And it's just bringing that into perspective and saying, oh, you can't do this. Like, that's not going to happen because our kids are going to, of course, try to prove us wrong and we don't want to do that either. So I think it's just helping them see, okay, well, what does that look like? What are the numbers? What are the steps you have to take? Because you can say all day long, only this small percentage succeeds, and they're going to be like, yeah, but I could be that small percentage, right? So that's not going to do anything.

It's more showing them what goes in.

Into it. All right, cool. Do you realize they spend all day every day editing videos and doing this and doing that and all these things? And they're gonna be like, oh my gosh, that's exhausting. Well, why don't you try it? Start it as a side hustle and go try to build up your influencer following and feel like, see how that goes for you. And that's great if it's successful, like the girl you had today, or the individual will be like, this is awesome, but let's have a backup plan because what happens if social media goes down? What happens if your channel gets deleted? What happens if it's helping them just think ahead of like, oh, I never thought about that. And just helping them see, okay, cool. What's our backup that we can fall back on in case this doesn't stick or stay long or work out at all? Because you're gonna get that, especially with this generation, cuz that's all they see, right? When they pull up TikTok, it's like all the kids and all the influencers and it's like, yeah. And just cuz they look like an influencer and they get all the following doesn't mean they're making all the money though either.

Yeah, then I have another student, um, the scholar athlete, the one who dreams of playing whatever sport in college, but yet they haven't made varsity by their junior year. And you're starting to see, that's so great you love your sport that much. I'm an encourager just like you. We need a backup plan, not because you're not going to do it, because what if you get injured? Let's just kind of like throw it that direction, right? Because I don't want to shoot them down. So how do you handle the scholar athlete?

I, I love the scholar athletes. I had an experience like that as well, but it cracked me up. We— I was speaking in a high school and a young man came up to me. He was a 9th grader and he said he's going to be a professional basketball player, I think it was. And I was like, oh, awesome, cool. So, you know, what position do you play? He's like, oh, I don't play. And I was like, Wait a minute. I was like, I thought you were going to be a professional. He's like, I am. I'm just going to try out for this. You know, I play on that like for fun all the time. I know I just don't play on the school's team. And I'm like, okay, all right, cool. Well, I mean, kudos and good luck to you because I couldn't— you know, we were just talking in the hallway, but it was just cracked me up. And I think student athletes are hard because it is a really, really hard thing to get to play college sports. And even if you get college sports, a lot of times students expect they're going to get a scholarship with that and they don't. And I think, again, a lot of that is just showing them the numbers, showing them the data, having those conversations and showing them experiences like having them watch TED Talks or YouTube videos on athletes who have gotten injuries and their careers were over and all those kinds of things. Because that does happen and helping them understand if this falls through, What do you— what's going to— what are you going to fall back on? And even looking at the bankruptcy numbers, I mean, NFL players, huge percentage go bankrupt, like huge percentage because they don't know how to manage the money to begin with. So it's kind of understanding, hey, yeah, you want to do this, that's great. Like, here's again what it's going to take to get there. And there's still no guarantee. But what's your backup plan if this doesn't happen? And even if it does happen, athletes retire at what age? You know how you're— you're going to be 30 years old. Are you going to sit there the rest of your years doing nothing? Probably not. Not, especially if you didn't pay yet, make a lot of money. You're, you know, you're not the star quarterback of the Cowboys making bukus of money. Your, your paycheck's not going to look like that. So it's just, again, those conversations and just helping them see things from different perspectives and helping coach them to see and make their own decisions on those things. At the end of the day, some kids are just going to stick to their guns no matter what you do. And at that point, sometimes the life biggest lesson is, is failing and falling on their face. And it's okay to let them do that Yes. Hard as it is.

So true. So true. So many people spend so much money on private coaches, on club teams, on this and that. And I'm not discouraging anybody. That's not my point. It's just what if? And I don't like to what if to the point that the student starts to doubt themselves, but just to be just like any other big decision. We like to have a conversation. Well, what if she's no longer your girlfriend? Or what if that doesn't work out? So I love that perspective. Now, as a parent coach, what does that mean? Is that like a baseball coach? I mean, I know obviously from what I do, what you do, but maybe my listeners going, I don't understand what you can actually do to help my child. Can you jump into that?

Yeah, yes, absolutely. So with coaching, and I like to use a sports analysis because everybody, even if they didn't play a sport, they know what a coach is, right? We've all seen coaches on the sports teams, whether it's football or basketball or whatever. And the coach, more times than not, I mean, pretty much every coach, if you're looking at professional level, they've been there, right? They played the sport, they played at an advanced rate. They now basically taking their knowledge and their skill set and helping the players, right? I always tell that as a coach. We've walked through this stuff and now we get to partner along you or your child and help them navigate what they're going through. But we're not doing it for them, right? We're not running on the field making the play for them, but we're coaching them and saying, hey, here's, here's the pieces to do. Here's the puzzle pieces to put in place to get the outcome, to get the win, to get to where you want to go. A lot of people always ask with coaching, compare it to counseling, like, you know, and it's like they're very different because coaching is always forward thinking. It's saying, hey, what can we do now to get us where we want to go? You know, what are the pieces we're putting into place for them? Well, a lot of counseling is more past or trauma and those types of things. So I love coaching for that reason because it is forward thinking. It's very supportive and it's giving you actual tools, not just, oh, let's talk about your feelings. So let's talk about that. But those are bad, right? And sometimes we do that stuff, but it's more like, cool, what are we going to do about it? Let's put the plan into place. Let's figure out what actions do we need to take, and then help them stay accountable to it, which is so powerful.

So that accountability, right? You have a preteen, you're getting there. For the parents who are listening, they're going, well, that would be great to hold them accountable, but how do you do that?

Yes, that is the question, right? I just did a mini training in my Facebook group a couple weeks ago on how to motivate your teenager and how to get them to do their schoolwork and do the things, especially for homeschool families, because I know that's who I primarily work with. And at the end of the day, the accountability, it's helping them be accountable for themselves and letting them fail. Sometimes accountability, the lesson is failure. I mean, that's where sometimes we learn the best things is because, okay, well, you know, we tried to help you come out. We reminded you the paper was due. We reminded you this thing was happening or coming up. You didn't do it. That's on you. And here was the consequence from that. Like, it sucks as parents and we feel bad for our kids when that happens and we want to bubble them up and like protect them from all the things. But like, you think of college, okay, you want to get this scholarship. Cool. Mom, Dad better not be writing the essay for you. You need to do it. And if you're not willing to do it and put that effort in, then you're not getting the scholarship. And guess what? We're not paying for it for you. And that's really hard. But honestly, it's the best thing for our kiddos when it comes to accountability is teaching them how to be accountable to themselves and understand that when you're not accountable and you don't follow through, there are consequences to that and stuff does happen.

Yeah, in our program we, we, we call them soft skills, the skills they're going to need once they get into college. Because Mom and Dad, I don't know if you know this, but when they turn 18, you're nobody anymore. And at school you can't check their grades, you can't check to see if they've gone to the doctor unless you have them legally allow you to. I learned this the hard way with my firstborn. So it's important that I totally agree, Tracy. What we do is when we review something with a student, we ask them to set the deadline and they look at us like, what do you mean? Like, everybody sets it at me. I'm like, no, no, no. When are— when would you like to have this done? And the look on their face is so amazing. They're, they're just stuck. And so, and then We don't chase them down. We send them a text and then another one, and we say, should we call your parent? It gets done immediately.

Uh-huh.

Giving them a chance, like you say, to fail forward, right? And, and learn that life skill that we don't want to have to involve your parent, but we can if we have to. And so I love that you're doing that in your program as well. That's fantastic.

Yep, it's so needed because you're going to get a job someday and nobody's going to be sitting there making sure you get out of bed and get to work on time, and your boss isn't going to be calling you, where are you at? Like, all right, don't forget to come in today. Like, that's not going to happen. And I mean, even like with my son, I mean, and like you said, that autonomy, and I think is so important. Like, every summer me and him sit down together and we build out his summer schedule. Like, all right, what does our schedule look like for the summertime? You know, what do we do? And we time block everything because he just needs that structure. But I let him have a voice in that and we work through it together so that he's learning that skill and learning how to do it. And then he knows, okay, it's this time, this time we use timers, we use other things, and I have him set all of it. I'm like, all right, you're supposed to be reading for 30 minutes and he'll go set his timer for 30 minutes and do that. So it's giving them the options and the ability to make those decisions for themselves. Like you said, choosing their deadlines. I mean, that is so good instead of us doing it for them all the time.

So if I'm a parent and I'm listening, I'm like, wow, do I need you, Tracy? How can a parent find you?

Yes. So Facebook is where I am primarily hanging out these days because of my Facebook group and everything. And it is just Tracy Bacon Haster. You can just look me up that way. I'm pretty sure I'm the only Tracy Bacon Haster that exists on the planet at the moment, or at least in the US. So that's a great place to find me because then we can get connected from there. I have my group, I have all kinds of great freebies, do weekly trainings. We're doing a fabulous back-to-school thing right now for August. So just so much going on. And I'm actually launching a book, which I'm really excited about. Yeah, so lots of good things. I would say find me on social, send me a message, say hi, and I can get you connected to all the, all the goodies for sure. And then you can always visit our website as well, which is just adulting-university.com.

Wow, so much great information. And parents, I know that your workout's just about done, so we're going to sign off for now. Thank you so much, Tracy, for your wisdom.

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. Goodbye, everybody.