The Eight Relationships Every Ambitious Leader Needs

There are 8 connections that create legendary careers, and the combination of all 8 of those connections comprises your relationship capital. Relationship capital is the psychic reward bank account that you build with people who see your potential. They bet on your success, and they're gonna help you see what makes you different so that you can turn your skills into a legendary career. This show is powered by Others Over Self. Hit that subscribe button to keep training your brain. Well, hey friends, it's a beautiful summer day in Detroit, Michigan. It's the 15th of June. We're just cresting on halfway through the month. And I have to tell you, last night I was up pretty late. I was up until 11 PM. 11 PM. That's right. I know, 11 PM. It's been years since I've stayed up that late, but it was 100% worth it because last night was Freedom 250. It was the UFC fights on the White House South Lawn, and it was absolutely worth it. Now, I only made it through 4 of the 7 bouts that they had going on. There were 7 cage fights that were supposed to happen and they didn't end until like 2 in the morning, so I couldn't make that timeline, but I did stay up way past my bedtime because I am a huge UFC fan, that's Ultimate Fighting Championship, and UFC fighters combine mixed martial arts with wrestling. There's a lot of boxing, and a lot of grappling on the ground, and there's so much strategy that goes into the sport that I am glued to the screen every time a really good fight kicks off. Yesterday was an amazing experience for myself and my husband to be able to sit down in our home with our children asleep and be able to watch this incredibly fun patriotic primetime television broadcast. Every UFC fighter that came down the staircase to be introduced into the ring, they were flagged with a Medal of Honor recipient as well as a first responder. That is the level of reverence that I am talking about when we go to do things the right way. Now, at one point, I took the kids upstairs and put them to bed. Good night. I came back down and my husband goes, "Shelly, you gotta see this." He hits pause, pulls it back, hits play, and right there is my buddy Jim McLuhan. Jim is a Medal of Honor recipient here in the great state of Michigan. And to see him walking in the White House next to a UFC athlete brought such hope to my heart and just such pride for everything that I know that Jim stands for in his life. And what he's given to his community back home. So thank you so much to President Trump, Dana White, UFC, and all that go into that for making Freedom 250 happen. Now today's podcast is a bit separated from the norm. I am not doing a video feed right now because I just finished a 2-mile run. And I look like crap, but I don't wanna waste any time this week. I have a corporate retreat that my company is putting on next week, and as we're prepping and moving forward with putting on that event, it's very important that we stick to our timelines. And so I have committed for this podcast to happen every Tuesday morning. It's Tuesday morning and I'm right here. So let's go ahead and get into it. Today's subject is coming straight from the book Creator Capitalist, written by the Category Pirates. Discover your superpower, design your dream career, and get paid to be you. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Now, the authors Christopher Lockhead and Eddie Yoon have been incredible mentors for me, and they have given us permission to share their teachings in all that we do. So today's podcast, we are gonna focus specifically on one section, chapter 8, called Relationship Capital. The Pirates teach 4 different types of capital that every entrepreneur should have. They should have intellectual capital, financial capital, relationship capital, and reputation capital. And so today we're just gonna dig deep on relationship capital, and here's why. The event that we're hosting next month, our leadership retreat, goes deep into lessons specifically around relationship capital. It's the first time that I'm teaching these lessons to a live audience, so I need to make sure that I have my own understanding of the material down before I try to present it to others. And more than that, it's important that it's my voice teaching the material. I don't wanna just be holding a textbook up and saying, look what somebody else smarter than me wrote. I want to be the one teaching material that I know is proven and that I can stand behind. So today's podcast is a live exercise in me finding my own voice as I teach, with permission, someone else's proven material. Let's get into it. The beginning of Chapter 8, Relationship Capital, starts with the quote, "It's not personal, it's just business." And then it says, "We call BS." And I call BS too. Everything about business is personal. When I look back over the multiple careers that I've had in different industries, it is absolutely the personalities of the people that have either given me success or grief along the way. And what I've also felt is the limitations when somebody has not been willing to take things to the personal level. You see, when you do go personal, there's a level of respect and admiration and trust that can't be touched through transactions. That's the difference between a transaction and a relationship. So let's figure out how we can turn these transactions that we go through in our business lives into deep and meaningful relationships. The Category Pirates teach that there are 8 connections that create legendary careers, and the combination of all 8 of those connections comprises your relationship capital. Relationship capital is the psychic reward bank account that you build with people who see your potential. They bet on your success, and they're gonna help you see what makes you different so that you can turn your skills into a legendary career. Think about your most important career moments. They're probably not hitting some revenue goal that you got a bonus for, and it might not be winning that award, even though that was kind of cool. They might be something like taking a phone call that changed what path you were on, or a meeting that went in a totally positive direction that you weren't planning on it going. Maybe it's a mentor that saw something in you before you were able to see it yourself. Maybe it was a time that you even failed and you really needed that lesson. I've had a few of those. And what about those career moments that involve these teams that can be difficult, struggling teams, failing teams, but in the end you end up pulling through? That's what makes a career legendary. And so if the work is meaningful to you, then the people that you work with will also be meaningful to you. Now, if you're listening to this podcast, I'm sure you've been in the business world for a hot minute here. And so your career can be divided into these inflection points of before success and after success. Whatever these moments are for you, before and after, think about that person who gave you a shot or the person that partnered with you and changed your landscape. I'm not talking about who's showing up in your LinkedIn profile and dropping you messages now and then. Today's conversation is about people that you can't buy, people that you can't jump in front of without really giving a lot of your personal time, effort, and energy. When we talk about relationship capital, we're considering people who see a future in you that's worth betting on. They see you as a person worth investing in. They see the difference that you could make in the world, and they see who you could become, not necessarily who you were or who you even are today. It's all about opportunity, an opportunity to make money and a difference together. And I say money because on this podcast, you're watching me grow my business out loud. And yes, money is important. Money is important. It's a gift from God. It's a resource that we are given, and we are watched as we steward it. As we do so, relationship capital, it isn't just nice to have it. It's the key to designing a legendary career. That's what Eddie and Christopher say. They say that no one creates a category-defining outcome alone. The most exponential opportunities come through relationships that you couldn't have planned.

Mm-hmm.

—people who see possibilities and that open doors that you didn't even know were there. That's how I feel when I jump on Ask Me Anything calls with Christopher Lockhead. He says things and references stories that blow my mind and expose me to this higher level of success and meaningfulness that exists out there, that I know is out there, but I just don't have it quite in my inner circle. Relationship capital is also necessary because relationships are a compounding flywheel. What do I mean by that? It doesn't just go and then keep going. It keeps going and grows as it keeps going. Now, as somebody who's been through 2 marriages, I know this firsthand. The first marriage that ended in divorce was extremely difficult because it wasn't a 6-month fling. It was nearly a decade of building a life together, that had to end, and then I had to restart. And so now that I'm approaching that decade mark with my now husband, it's quite impossible for me to think if all this were to come crashing down right now, because every month, every year that we spend together, what we build compounds. Spring after spring, we're adding to the garden, the maintenance of our home, the improvements of our home. Just like a marriage, every relationship compounds. And so when you have all 8 types working together, man, you've got the trajectory for something really amazing in your life. And one more thing here on relationship capital as a must-have: the higher you climb, the more you need people who will tell you the truth. These people are the ones who are honest when everyone else starts to pander to your success. They see potential in you before you even see it in yourself, and they bet on your future instead of just your past. Now, these are the relationships that are gonna help keep you grounded while you grow. Building relationship capital isn't about building a massive network. We are surrounding ourselves with legendary people. Like, let's think crazy big people. The people that I love to create with, Somebody calls and says, Shelly, how about a woman veteran adult coloring book? Yes, absolutely. Somebody else says, Shelly, how about a book on this? Yes, absolutely. I love these next level players that are in my life. That's what makes relationship capital both powerful and mysterious. There's no way to measure the people in your life. You can't count on what they're gonna bring to you or what you're gonna bring to them. It's not money in a bank account, and you can't track it like your followers on social media. You can only grow it through deep investments of time, energy, and care. And these are the people that will transform your trajectory. Now that you know what relationship capital is, we're gonna get into the 8 types of relationships that we need to be having, because all we can do to help you grow relationship capital is to help you recognize it when it does come your way. Now, before we get into the 8 types of relationships, let's talk about the 3 pillars of the relationship capital. Because in the military, we love to say that herding cats is a hard day. When people are going all over the place, there's just no easy way to get incredible things done. So the first pillar of relationship capital is to recognize a sense of shared purpose. Shared purpose. A mission matters more than individual gain. The second pillar of relationship capital is shared principles. What are the values that are driving you and the person standing next to you? If those are off, things will crumble. And the third pillar is a shared risk profile. Now this one I'm leaning into. It's the willingness to be vulnerable and take bold action together. You two are going to play a game, especially if you're in business together, and the risk needs to be equal. It's a shared risk profile on both sides. Too often I find myself undercutting my own abilities and my own value because I feel honored or flattered by somebody deciding that they would like to work with me. And the more of those phone calls that I receive, The less the effects of flattery is landing in my heart. So I'm leaning into this shared risk profile really, really hard in today's lesson. All right, so now it's time to get into the 8 types of relationships because recognizing these relationships is really where it starts. So the first one is a sensei with a sense of humor. It's easy to find people teaching stuff all over the internet, on LinkedIn, You've got motivational posts flying on everybody's wall. What we are talking about with a sensei with a sense of humor is somebody who sees something in you that other people miss. There's a lot of senseis who take this approach of humor, of just throwing you in the deep end and watching you, and they maybe they'll save you, but they wanna see how you do. And so think about showing up at the gym on a normal training day, like all our UFC fighters over there at Freedom 250. Yeah. Only to find out when you get there that you're gonna spar with a pro. And what you do in that moment is gonna change how you approach that octagon. You see, many senseis aren't looking for much in return. What they want is your respect and your effort and maybe even a little bit of friendship. Now, as soon as I'm done recording this, I'm gonna tune in to Christopher Lockhead's podcast because he has an episode where he talks with Rickson Gracie, one of the most legendary Brazilian jiu-jitsu and MMA champs. And he goes through the mindset of a sensei. You see, a lot of these proven fighters, they're successful enough. What they want is just to be able to place their bets on people that they find interesting. And so hopefully someday a sensei will place their bet on you, and your career can change overnight. The second type of relationship that we wanna make sure to cultivate is known as a battlefield promotion boss. These are people that are willing to risk their reputation in order for you to build yours, not managers who promote you because you put in your time. These are the leaders that actually throw you in the deep end and set a project right in your lap. Mm-hmm. Just to see how you do with it. And no, I'm not talking about the ones that do it so that you can fail. The Battlefield Promotion bosses, yes, they hand you these things that make you feel like you're in over your head, but they also throw you a lifeline. They're right there on the sidelines watching you to make sure that if you fail that meeting or if you start to stumble in your product demo. They have the script and they're happy to stand in and save the day if necessary. Now the pirates use an incredible quote here from Iron Mike Stedman, one of my favorite veteran entrepreneurs. We lift as we climb. We lift as we climb. The third type of relationship to lean into is business bandmates who love to jam. This is what I'm talking about today. Because I have a leadership team of 11 women veterans, and my favorite times throughout the month are when we jump on our leadership training calls. We turn that microphone on, we talk about hot-button topics, and I get to hear all of their voices. The Pirates like to call this jamming, jam sessions. They are in bands, and so to them, jamming feels natural. To me, it just feels like this open-hearted, safe conversation. And you know how veterans can be when we really get into conversation. Yeah. Conversation. It gets a little crazy, gets definitely not PG-13, and a whole lot of fun. And if you're not having relationships where you feel like you can just love to jam or get into those creative conversations that you know hold third-party value, that might be something that you're missing in life. After every one of my training calls, I always take a moment to reflect and just think, wow, It's so cool that we're creating this abundance of knowledge together. Now, the fourth type of relationship you wanna look for: loved ones who won't lie to you. I just snapped a photo of this chapter and sent it to my husband because we've been talking about exactly this, this type of relationship, a loved one who won't lie to you. The category pirates use the example of Charles Barkley. You know him, he's the NBA Hall of Famer. I, yes, I used to have a Charles Barkley poster on my wall when I was in high school. And the story that they share here is that Charles Barkley owes his career to Moses Malone. He's another Hall of Fame basketball player. You see, Moses was a star player on the Philadelphia 76ers, and Charles was drafted there out of Auburn. Charles wasn't getting playing time when he was a rookie, and so he asked Moses for advice. Why am I not getting more playing time? Moses' response: Because you're fat and lazy. As the story goes, Charles went home and cried that night, but then he did something important and he actually listened to what was said to him. He humbled himself, accepted the feedback, dropped at least 50 pounds, and he became a starter that made a notable difference in the league. Fast forward to when Moses passed away. Charles gave his eulogy and even called him dad. So should we not be mixing business and personal? I feel like when we take that stance, we're just missing a lot on how to build a legendary career. We need people who love us enough to tell us the brutal truth about our lives. The fifth type of relationship to lean into: mentors on a quest. Mentors on a quest. I love this type of relationship because it's highly smart, highly capable people that are moving forward and achieving incredible things in life. Pirate Eddie takes the opportunity here to tell a story about when he was in consulting. Jeff Ackerberg was the vice president of sales and marketing at Swingline, you know, the staplers, and Pirate Eddie had a PowerPoint presentation that he was giving. Well, apparently there was a slide that was just hidden away in the back of the deck that recommended that they sort of flip upside down the stylings of the office supply stores so that instead of the cheap staples being at eye level, the more expensive ones would be there because Pirate Eddie truly believed that people just wanted a stapler that didn't jam, period. That one particular insight caught Jeff's attention so much so that when he started a different project, he reached back out to Eddie and asked Eddie to join the team. You see, Jeff wasn't looking for expertise. What he saw— Jeff himself was on a quest to follow the consumer and to let that quest lead him to becoming a CEO. What Jeff saw in Eddie was that Eddie had this insight that could help fuel the journey. So they took action on that new retail strategy and it grew Swingline's business over 19% in just 9 months. Jeff eventually started off on a new quest as the CEO of Rust-Oleum. You see, mentors on a quest, they don't care about your credentials. What they care about is that you're obsessed with the same mission that they are. This right here is the reason that I have any measure of success. In the woman veteran care space. It is not about Shelly. It is not about Shelly's time in the military or what she did when she served. It is 100% about having a shared mission with others. Now, in order to connect with relationship type number 5, mentors on a quest, you don't need to impress everyone. What you really need are two key relationships here. The first key relationship is your Archimedes. Archimedes is the person in your life that gives you leverage to move your world. Or as Archimedes said, "Give me a lever and a place to stand, and I will move the world." And so your client or your senior mentor, somebody who hires you into a new role, somebody who sees who you could become and not just who you are today. That's your Archimedes. Think of somebody who gave you that opportunity or views you in that light, and think of them as your Archimedes. And the second key relationship under mentors on a quest is to have your auctioneer. Your auctioneer is a person who helps set your value in the marketplace. This is so important, especially as we struggle to define our own monetary values. And if you're a business person like me and your family relies on your income for their food and their clothing and their shelter, knowing your value and having an auctioneer is not a nice have, it's a must have. So let's say that you're stuck at a salary that you're not thrilled with, maybe $50K a year. Your auctioneer is gonna be the former colleague that goes out on your behalf and tells potential employers You're crazy if you think that he'll work for you for less than $100K. He's valued at $150K. He's turning down other jobs to be able to work for you at the higher rate. Somebody who speaks on your behalf to others and raises the value of who you are and what you bring to the table. Truthfully, they do this with honesty. They do this because they love you and they see the value of you. Now, as I was trying to come up with my own auctioneer, I actually was thinking of how many times I've been an auctioneer for others. How many times people have said, "Shelly, I'll give you a copy of my book," and I've said, "No, please let me buy it." How many times others have said, "Let me just do this class for your women veterans for free," and it's a fellow woman veteran, and I say, "Absolutely not. We have grant dollars. I'm going to pay you your value." You see, you don't need the whole world's approval to make a legendary career move. You just need one Archimedes, and one auctioneer, and together they're gonna help you worth your value. Sometimes having this great mentor on a quest can be both of those key relationships. Comedies and your auctioneer can be the same person. For me, it's two different people. But when you find these people, the one who sees your potential and the one who helps you monetize it, those are the relationships that can transform your trajectory. And right here, I'm gonna jump into a quick break, and when we come back, we're gonna finish out with the final 3 types of relationships that you need to have as an entrepreneur. Stay with us.

Most events ask you to show up. Radio on the River asks you to remember why you belong. You arrive at Freedom River on October 11th, and the first thing that hits you is the music. They're veteran musicians, people who understand on the difference between playing and playing with purpose. Jim Dale and Shelly, the co-hosts of Veterans Radio, are standing there among the crowd. The voices you know, now in person. They're telling the veteran stories nobody else knows how to tell. There's food, a raffle, and joy happening around you. And then you hear it.

Huey!

The sound of a Huey cutting through the air above the river. It sounds like home. By the time you leave, you're proud of yourself. You stood there with your people. That's what Radio on the River is, Veteran Radio's annual fundraising event. We need you there Sunday, October 11th, 1 to 4 at Freedom River in Brighton, Michigan. Open to the public. Seating is limited, so claim your complimentary ticket to Radio on the River now at veteransradio.org.

Welcome back, friends. Thanks so much for sticking around. In the first part of this episode, we covered the 4 different types of capital that every entrepreneur needs. You have financial capital, intellectual capital, reputation capital, and the one that we're really leaning into today, relationship capital. In the first part of our podcast episode, we went through the first 5 types of relationships that every person needs to have and foster in order to have a legendary career. So now we're picking back up here with relationship number 6, Trusted leaders who drive outcomes. What does it mean to be and to know a trusted leader? I got a text message the other day and she said, "I'm working on something coming up. Do you want in?" It's vague. I don't even know what she's talking about, but I do know the person and I love what she does in the business world. And so without hesitation, my answer is yes.

Yes.

Absolutely, I'm in. Tell me what you got going on. That's what we're talking about with relationship number 6: trusted leaders who repeatedly drive outcomes. This particular business contact, we'll call her Susie. She is known in her field for getting strategies and products up and out the door, very quick turnaround and very high revenue. That's exactly who I need to be partnering with today. And so yes, I do view it as a God wink when I get a text message from her, "Got something new coming up. Are you in?" Yes, 100% I'm in. Do you have anybody like that, that you know is someone that you can trust because they have already built and proven themselves? That is a very, very special relationship. And those types of people, they want to be a part of something legendary with people who can help take them there. She reached out to me for a reason, and so it is a reciprocal relationship between the two of us. Another way to look at this are employees that keep working for you. They might leave or they might start off on their own ventures, but they stay in touch with you. They know that when they reach certain spaces of life, They can come back around and lean into you. That means that you, my friend, might just be that trusted leader that repeatedly drives outcomes, because if you didn't drive outcomes, they wouldn't be returning back to you. Now, relationship number 7 digs deep into finances, and it's investors looking for unicorn. In 2012, investor Gary Tan wrote 3 checks to a little-known startup called Coinbase. At the time, Bitcoin was worth $20. Today, Bitcoin is worth $100,000 and Coinbase is worth $73 billion. Now, Tan's stake was nearly $1.9 billion, which is a $6,000 return on his initial investment. You see, unicorn investors don't bet on what is, they bet on what could be. A very interesting side note, if you've been listening to all of the controversy over AI and the data centers that are required, pay attention to what SpaceX is doing. I just wanna plant a seed for you. Since it's getting so difficult to have these necessary data centers on Earth, why don't we just build 'em in space? Seems like a pretty viable solution to me. I'm pretty sure there's other smart people out there with that same idea. What we're talking about is unicorn investors who don't bet on what is, they bet on what could be. To spot a unicorn investor, look for somebody who offers support beyond the money. That's what I love about working with the Category Pirates. I get to have genuine business mentorship conversations with both Eddie Yoon and Christopher Lockhead on an ongoing basis. I even have access to their bots. So when I'm putting together a project or a session outline, like what I've got coming up for next week's retreat, I can literally send my file of that outline into Eddie's bot and get Eddie's feedback. And then when I see Eddie in person a week later, I show him the final product and he can make a couple of tweaks, but it's light years ahead of Shelly just sitting down on her own trying to come up with a session. And not only does a unicorn investor offer support beyond money, they derive genuine joy from watching others grow. My team and I have been able to be on calls with Christopher Lockhead and Eddie Yoon, and they have shown a level of genuine interest in our lives and in our experiences. And the value of that is so much higher than you could ever guess. Because for women like us, being seen and being appreciated goes a long way. A unicorn investor also has a history of betting early on different futures. They don't just see one way that things could go, they see multiple ways. They also get excited about possibilities that other people might say is crazy. And a really good unicorn investor They ask you about your vision beyond your vision. They don't just ask you about your track record. If you're stuck in conversations with people who are asking you for your resume, you are in the wrong room. It's time to surround yourself with potential unicorn investors so that you can raise your own value and start to change what's ahead on your landscape. And finally, the last relationship that we should be building as entrepreneurs, relationship number 8, Friends who will walk through the fire. Sometimes the strongest relationships are those forged in the flames of adversity. Nobody knows better than I, former military, what it means to go through hard stuff and to have people at your side. When hard things happen to us, people can either freeze or they can flee, they can run away. I needed somebody to stand in a court with me and provide testimony. And when I asked a handful of my friends, quote unquote friends, they said, "No thank you," and walked away. Man, talk about a lens to be able to judge who your real friends are. That was that moment. You see, relationship number 8, friends who walk through the fire. I submit to you that this is one of the hardest types of relationships to cultivate because ambitious people like you and I can be very you're with me or you're against me in our mindset. And that is not how to build friends who walk through the fire. It's not a with me or against me mindset. It's a we are in this together mindset. The ones who you fight alongside, they become your brothers and your sisters forever. They're not just colleagues and they're not just business partners. These are the people who run into you and help you through the tough things. I know COVID taught my husband and I a lot. Mm-hmm. About who we could lean on and who we could depend on. We had a newborn in the hospital. We had a 10-year-old at home that needed childcare so that we could go be with our newborn. And that was a lot harder to find than it should have been. It gave us solid perspective on who our true and deepest friends are because of that moment of fire. You see, these relationships are built on shared principles, not just interests, These are not your bar buddies. This is what's happening across the veteran landscape. We've got too many of these private social clubs that everybody's drinking at and they can't get a ride to the doctor's appointment. That is a true story of one of our women. We'll call her Rebecca, but she has been an incredible mentor and friend to so many. But the majority of her adult time has been spent at this veteran social club. Mm-hmm. And as she ages and her medical needs increase, she doesn't have a spouse and she doesn't have children. So she has a genuine community need for help and assistance to get to her medical appointments. And she faced a very harsh reality with us a couple of years ago when she called and said, "Shelly, I just need a ride. I don't have anybody that I can call." For her, it was a moment of reconciliation with herself. That where she had been investing her time had been a waste of time. And here we are years later, and we've gotten her around some much better, more caring women, better veterans who aren't just existing in the landscape of veteran care. We are providing the landscape of veteran care. We are the friends who will walk through the fire. So that's the 8 types. I'm gonna run through them real quick for you. One more time. We kicked off this chapter talking about the three pillars of relationship capital. You should think about each of these eight types. Do they have shared purpose? Does the person have shared principles? And what about your shared risk profile? If you can say yes to two out of the three for each of these relationship types, then that means that you're building with them and that's a good thing. And pay attention to where you've got 3 out of 3: shared purpose, principles, and a shared risk profile. Man, the two of you are gonna do amazing things together. So do you have your 8 friends? Do you have number 1, your sensei with a sense of humor? Number 2, your battlefield promotion boss? Number 3, business bandmates who love to jam? Number 4, loved ones who won't lie to you? Number 5, mentors on a quest, and that includes both your Archimedes and your auctioneer. Number 6, trusted leaders who repeatedly drive outcomes. Number 7, investors looking for unicorns. And number 8, friends who will walk through the fire. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am daring you to be different. Let's stop thinking about business personal as two separate things. Because in a world obsessed with networking algorithms and surface-level connections, remember that real relationships form between people who are willing to serve a bigger purpose than themselves. Others over self. We stand on a principle when it matters, and we take meaningful risks together. When you can find these types of relationships, Grab it, cherish it, foster it. This is how legends build lifelong relationships. I'm your host, Shelly Rood. It's been a joy and an honor to spend today with you. I'm with you every Tuesday with encouraging words for our entrepreneurs and our ambitious people. Next week, I'll be back with an incredible guest. And until then, I want to encourage you to pick up Pick up your copy of Creator Capitalist written by the Category Pirates so that you can discover your superpower, design your dream career, and get paid to be you. Until next Tuesday, I hope that you have a wonderful, wonderful middle of June. Get some sunshine and above all, stay hardcore, be at ease, and trust the process. You're listening to Hardcore and At Ease.

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