EP 61: It All Begins in the Mind — The Mindset That Prevents Wars, Division & Disconnection

If you are tired about the problems, the divisions and the frictions in the world, looking for a solution, I got your back. That's exactly what we're going to talk about today. Let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's a shiny one. You got. My dear shiny mind you who is watching, may I invite you to hit that subscribe button. This way, you and I are going to become partners in SHINE and elevate the consciousness in the world. Thank you so much in advance and I'll see you inside. Welcome to the Shiny minds show with Dr. Shiny. I am Dr. Shiny Bourdain. Sal. I am the founder of the Academy of Neuroshine Technology, the proud creator of my transformational consciousness curriculum, Neuroshine Technology, and I am the producer of this Shiny Mind show. I'm super excited today. I just had my birthday and I want to talk about something that has been bothering me so much. And that's why I'm coming to you very direct today. I'm usually very high energy, very positive, smiling to the roof and back. Today I want to get serious. Today I want to mention something that I don't mention enough. The mindset. Although I am a licensed NLP trainer, NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. For those of you who are not familiar with it. NLP taught me the mindset. I started my whole journey of entrepreneurship with the mindset. I teach mindset, I share mindset tools and principles. And still yet when it comes to my episodes, I don't think I talk enough about the mindset and the importance of it. And today I want to talk about a mindset where we can merge different disciplines, where we can see both sides of the equation when we can disagree and still respect the other person, where we can see where they are coming from, although we don't necessarily feel like that. We are open and curious and respectful enough to be able to sit down and appreciate different perspectives and different ways of processing life. Why is it important to me right now? It's important because I see it everywhere in the world. I see it on the street when people talk about their issues. I see it when I watch podcasts, when interviewers are trying to interview their guests, and yet they actually are not doing a good job by being open. And it's. It just hits me, you know? And then I want to talk about this. If we come from, this is the only perspective. This is my perspective and I am right and you are wrong, then that's the vision. That's not what we want. If you have a podcast and if you have a guest that you are interviewing and if they are sharing their opinions, then you are to respect and open and receive with curiosity. You are to show different perspectives to your audience. When it happens at another level like this, then we are not doing a good job. We are not educating our audience. We are not sharing the high level frequencies with the people who want to hear from us. The same situation. If you have a friend that you keep disagreeing and then you keep trying to win over, as if that's an argument that then you're not doing it right. That's not the point. The point of life is not to be right. Like, look at the world history. That's where we always struggle. We always want to win over. We always want to turn this life into an argument to be won. Nobody is winning. Everybody is winning. Everybody needs to win. I want to live in a world where we don't divide everything, we unite. That's the point. I'm getting chills as I talk about this because this is literally like over here. I see it everywhere. I sit at a table and then I pay attention to the conversation right next to me. And then there is always this argument. One part is complaining, the other one is defending. One part is complaining and then the other one is justifying with a ton of excuses. I don't watch tv. I watch the podcast and interviews of people. And I very, I am very selective because I have my own podcast show, right? My own Shiny Minds show. And this is obviously my own show. I don't have guests yet other than my faculty trainers that I have invited to my show yet. And I'm probably going to have at some point. My perspective is that when we are limited with our own way of doing things and when we are not open to receiving, perceive and to process what it would be like to live life from their perspective, then we are staying limited. That's not the point of life. Life is infinite possibilities. Photons and electrons and light has wave function and particle function all at the same time until you observe it to your own reality. And then it localizes before then everything is just potentiality in the univers, just like the thoughts, just like the way of doing things and being things. And this, this is what I want to see in the world. I don't want to see problems in the world, although it's a part of it. I want to invite us to stretch our thinking. I want us to see all is a part of the system. The system. We are the creators of it. We started it and we can stop it. We created it and then we can recreate it. We can unite, we can join our forces. We can make this place a better place. This world can be a better place. The world is inviting us to unite, to see what is unseen, to see what is in our blind spot. How many of you have ever experienced something like so dear to your heart? And you're sharing it. You want to share it in that moment. But in that moment, the person you are in conversation with does not understand you. And on top of not understanding you, they come back to you with some sort of a reaction that shocks all the neurons out of you. You know what I'm talking about. I know I'm not the only one. We all have those situations. We've had them. We experience like we are so joyful, we are so almost innocent in my language, sharing our truth with are people. And yet they don't get us. They don't get us. They judge us. Being judged is the problem. Being judged is the root of all the divisions, all the frictions and all the problems. We should, we must. We have to stop judging. We have to stop judging. We have to stop judging to an extent that does become our own pure mirror. Because if you judge yourself, you're going to judge somebody else. It's easier said than done. It's not really easy to do. It takes years of unlearning the conditioning that we had from our childhood, from our society. We have been conditioned to see either or. We have been conditioned to choose either or. We have been forced to. To go with either or. No, it's not the way to do it. I'm telling you. The way to go about life is to do both. How can we do this and a little bit of this, this, and a little bit of this, this, and a little bit of everything. That is the mindset. That is the perspective. If we do not have this mindset, we are going to keep having all these problems and frictions and divisions in the world. And I, as I see and shows and conversations that I keep hearing from, from everyone, it just. It just breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. I really want to cry when that happens. There is a part of me that goes very emotional about it. That's not the world we want to create. You guys, my shiny minds. If you're watching this episode and if you are a shiny mind, a soul who is on its journey for enlightenment, a being that is here for a purpose, to make this world a better place, listen to me. We need to make wiser decisions. We need to become the sovereign creators of our life. We need to become role models. We need to show up with full integrity. I'll give you an example. Somebody just did not show up to a Zoom call that they booked with me. You know how precious my time is. If you are going to book a call and not going to show up, I'm done. I'm not going to tolerate that. That is. That's gone. Those behaviors are gone. We have to show up with the integrity that we represent as human beings. No more excuses. Instead of trying to win over arguments that you have with other people, how about you win your own. Own arguments inside of show up with integrity and own what you don't have? How about that? How about we own it? I'll give you another example. A friend of mine is feeling like she is totally okay by being late, because that's kind of like who she is, right? And she even has this excuse, oh, you know, I'm always late. Guess what? I'm not going to tolerate that. If you want to live with that kind of identity, I'm always late. Or I find myself going to places and waiting for you for 20, 30, sometimes even like more than 30 minutes. I'm done. I'm. I'm not tolerating that. That is not going to happen. How about you win that argument? How about you own your own shortcomings and try to win your integrity over your other excuses? How about that? How about I hold you to a higher level of accountability? How about I just demand more from us as human beings? How about we do that? How about we say it's not. Either we are late or we are always on time. How about we do both? And then we choose the integrity. And whenever there is something that is causing us to be late, we feel guilty. So guilty about it that we take immediate action. That has to be the behavior. If the behavior keeps repeating itself when it is not respecting the other person, when it is not uplifting the other person, if you still keep repeating that same behavior, no, that's gotta be gone. That's. That's gotta be left behind as an old pattern not serving you, because that's not acceptable. If I ever make somebody wait even, like, for five minutes, I'm gonna feel terrible about it. Are you? I hope you are. If you make somebody wait for five minutes, 10 minutes, like, okay, perhaps like 15 minutes, like, then you should be very, very, like, feeling guilty. That's what guilt is for. Emotions are navigational tools for us as human Beings. That's what we need to use. We need to tap into the guilt inside of us. And then we need to say, oh, my God, that was really unacceptable because I am a person of integrity. My apologies, this will never happen again. And then you're just going to do course correction. You're going to correct your behavior. You're not going to go ahead and tell people, oh, I'm always late. Sorry. If you're always late and if you choose that identity, I don't tolerate that. Sorry. We are not at the same frequency. It's just not going to happen. I'm realizing as we step more into the year of the great reset that we are in 2020, I'm getting even more clear about boundaries and how we need to show up in the world. I believe we sugarcoat a little bit too much. I believe render is this behavior. It is actually not an appropriate behavior. We tend to forgive that a little bit too much. Forgiveness is great as long as it is not repeated. If it is a repeated behavior that should not be forgiven because it is costing you, it is costing you. To unsee that. It is costing you and creating the conflict inside of you, creating the division inside of you. Then you go into, wait a minute. Why am I not tolerating that? Because I'm tolerating my own behaviors, right? You want to, you want to be in alignment with yourself because you have all these behaviors within yourself that you keep tolerating and you keep forgiven. You know, I'll do better next time, but that next time never comes. Why? Because you, you keep tolerating it. You keep making it. Okay, we have to stop that. We need to show up with the A class behaviors. The A class behavior is something that I learned from Tony Robbins. Thank you, Tony, for teaching me that back in 2011. And a class behavior is something that you enjoy doing, something that is good for you, something that is good for the other person you are interacting with, and something that is good for the greater good. It's all checking all the boxes. It's good for you, good for the others, good for the world, and you enjoy doing it. That's an A class behavior. If you have B class behaviors, then the world is going to show up as a B class world. How? Because you're not going to enjoy. It's still good for you and good for the other person and good for the greater good. But you don't enjoy it. That's how Tony Robbins goes about it. You don't enjoy it. And then I loved that framework. I Literally loved that framework so much because it then forces you to enjoy showing up with full integrity, showing up with class. A class, right. It's a class behavior. When you show up with class, show up with elegance, integrity and power and responsibility, you just. You just own yourself. You own every behavior, every part of you. You just integrate them all. And then you have the secret, delicious sauce to show up in the world. And that's what we want. We don't want arguments and conflicts and trying to win the perspectives. That's why we have wars in the world. When this division, this argument, this either or perspective becomes international between countries, then you get wars. Like, how do we prevent wars? It all begins in the mind. That's why I am passionate about the mindset. It all begins in the mind. It's that moment. It's that millisecond when you have the thought and then you do something about it. It's just so abstract. It's. It looks like we don't have control over it, but we do have control over it. You are in control of where your mind goes, where your attention goes. And when you're able to catch your mind, your attention, like again and again and again. That's how you rewire. You rewire your entire nervous system, starting with your brain, and it goes down to your entire nervous system. And that's why you keep telling your own inner parts, your own system to say it's not either or. It is the solution. How can we create the solution? That's the perspective. That's the perspective we want to own. That's the perspective we want to live by. That's how we can prevent wars. That's how we can prevent arguments and heartbreaks. That's how we can just become better human beings. That's what I wanted to share today. That's all. Thank you for allowing me to share my light with you today. Until next time. Keep shining your light. Then you're in the right place. Let's go. Let's go.