EP 89 - 7 Mindset Reminders I Got From My 7-Week Vacation in Europe

Are you daydreaming about a life on your own terms? Then this episode is for you. I am going to show you how I am living my dream life, all the way from a small Turkish town to the gorgeous Brickell, Miami. Let's begin.

Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one.

You got this. My dear shiny mind, you who's watching, may I invite you to hit that subscribe button? This way, you and I are going to become partners in shine and elevate the consciousness in the world. Thank you so much in advance, and I'll see you inside. Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show with Dr. Shiny. I am Dr. Shiny Burcu Unsal, the proud creator of the Academy of Neuroshine Technology, this Shiny Minds Show, and of course, your Neuroshine coach. Today, I am finally back From my seven weeks of vacation in Europe, my goodness shininess! That was a long time, and I have takeaways, and I want to share my takeaways with you because there are a ton of takeaways. I felt the integration of all my subatomic particles after I came back. I cannot wait to share with you. So if you're ready. I will share 7 takeaways that I reminded myself. Those are my mindset reminders, and I'm going to break down why they're important, especially if you want to create a life on your own terms. So let's begin. Number 1, design a life that you never need a vacation from. It's obvious, right? I was gone for 7 weeks, And then I miss home so much. Then I ask myself, why did I come here for this long? Because I literally miss my office, my daily life here in Brickell, Miami. I worked my life to create my life. I worked for my entire life to design the life that I never want to take a vacation from. So the reason I took that vacation for so long, for 7 weeks, is because Miami is hot and humid and rainy during the summer. Okay, July, August, and even September, although I am back right now, it's, it's just hot and humid. Those are the only months that you may feel a little bit too hot in Miami, and that's also why I, I was gone for 7 weeks. And I will tell you, I decided not to be away for this long. From now on.

Why?

Because I created a life I never want to take a vacation from. Okay, I work from my home, and then I have an entirely online business. I have incredibly beautifully golden-hearted people that I get to work with. They are in my faculty, and they are in my everyday life. I love my life. I do. When I was a little girl, I knew that I was going to be a part of something very big. I just didn't know what. All I knew was that I was not supposed to stay where I was born. That was my hometown. I'll tell you what, this time after 12 years, I got to visit my hometown and got to reconnect with my childhood friends. It was such a beautiful experience. I I cannot tell you how I felt. I was not expecting this. I was so emotional. I cried that night. I told Ken to cut this part where I get emotional, but I'm still emotional, and it's okay. The reason I am so emotional is because I left home when I was 16, and I left home with a decision to never go back. Of course, I visited here and there, especially when I was in college studying my university. But my childhood friends that I reconnected, some of them I haven't even seen for 2 decades or even 3 decades. Sitting at a table with them, talking about our memories, what we used to do, how much fun we used to have. For my childhood friends who are watching, These tears are for you. Because I truly missed you. I missed all of you. And it meant the world to me to sit down, reconnect, talk about our childhood memories, talk about life, talk about the future. And that was, I can tell, the most profound part of my 7-week trip in Europe. And of course, there was another friend who was not in my hometown, Anamur, who came to visit me later on in Istanbul. And I also had a profoundly deepening reconnection with her. And these 2 experiences alone were absolutely super meaningful for me. And of course, reconnecting means getting to know those people again because they They are not the same. You're not the same person as you were even yesterday. So we spent a lot of time talking about introducing ourselves to each other. And of course, having those conversations made me realize how grateful I am with my life and the freedom, the fulfillment, the purpose, the abundance that I was able to create for myself. And I wish the same for Everyone, starting with my childhood friends, starting with my dear friends, starting with you, my dear Shiny Minds. So do whatever you can in your power to create a life on your own terms that you love so much that you don't feel like you're missing something, you're missing anything, because you love your life so much and you feel so full inside of yourself. That makes you feel Peaceful. Number 2, clarify your why and keep going. This sounded like the Joni Walker tagline, but I really mean it. Just clarify your why and keep walking. Keep going. If you need to take some time away, take that 7-week vacation that I took just to clarify yourself. I cannot tell you how much space it gave me to be away from my life, how much wider perspective I was able to gain when I was gone for 7 weeks and how many more different perspectives I was able to collect because I was talking to different people. I was traveling to different places like Turkish cities and also European cities, and I was able to connect with some foreigners at the hotels that I was staying, and it was literally widening and perspective opening experience. And if you ever feel like your current life is not helping you, if your current life is not where you want to be, you don't have to stay there. There is a better version of you out there. There is a better version of the life that you can experience out there. But if you never look for it, you're never going to get it. Okay, it's guaranteed. If you don't look for it, it's guaranteed that you won't get it. But if you look for it, then you might as well get it. Okay, so that's why I will encourage you, take that sabbatical, take that month off, take that week off, go stay alone, sit with yourself, ask yourself some questions. I am going to give you some questions that you can ask yourself so that you can clarify your why. Question number 1, what is my life purpose in this lifetime? Number 2, why did I come to this planet Earth? Number 3, if everything was taken away from me, what would I still choose to do with my time? Because your time is limited, clock is ticking, and you want to answer that question sooner than later. Question number 4, I'll just give you one more. What is my superpower that is so unique to me, that comes to me so naturally, that everybody keeps asking me how I do it, but to me, it's the easiest thing? That can be your purpose. You can monetize that superpower. And if you clarify that and create a life around it, you're good. You just keep walking. Hello, Shiny Minds. Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to tell you that this Shiny Minds show is sponsored by my Academy of Neuroshine Technology, where myself as the founder and my hand-selected amazing elite ICF accredited coach educators are here to support you, to make you feel safe, seen, heard, appreciated, free to become whoever you want to be, and also transformed forever inside out. We are here to hold your hands and to support your growth. If you feel it in your heart to become more and achieve more, then go to shinyunsal.com, grab that PDF, and we will see you inside. Number 3, I also reminded myself and felt The need to say this, that my NeuroShine technology is way more than coaching. I promote it as a coaching program right now. I have a product, an offer that is offered to you as a coaching education program. I packaged what I have under the package of an ICF-accredited coaching certification program. And it also comes with the world-class Richard Bandler NLP certificate, the founder of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. You look at it and then you say, oh, okay, this is a certification program. I'm not interested, therefore it's not for me. Guess what? My NeuroShine technology is way more than that. I created my NeuroShine technology to help me first, to help me with my questions, because I didn't feel that I belonged. I didn't feel that I was functioning well in society. Everybody was okay with everything and I was not. I needed answers and that's why I kept searching and I together all the practical tools that helped me thinking and believing that it would help others too. And then I got the ICF accreditation. So it wasn't the other way around, but because I am now offering it to you as an ICF accredited coaching certification program. You don't understand what it does. And guess what? It's on me. As I sat down and had conversations with people again and again and again, I was reminded the importance of what I created. My Neuroshine technology is truly transformational. It's absolutely like electricity. It's a utility. It's a mindset utility, just like electricity. I want my Neuroshine technology in every single house, literally, because we all need that thinking technology. I got reminded of that, and I realized that life is hidden in labels, and the way that I label it, you will try to understand it. So it is my responsibility to change the label, to, to change the packaging, and to offer it to you in a way that You would take advantage of it. You would learn more from it. It's on me. I'll do it. I got reminded. That's one of my biggest takeaways. Number 4, friendships are just not social nice-to-haves. They are structural needs that we have. What do I mean by that? When I took the time off and reconnected with dearest friends, of my life. One person I met when I was 3 years old. I know she's watching. And how special is that? I mean, think about it. Somebody you met when you were just 3 years old, when you were a baby. I got to see her again. We cried. We were on the phone and we cried again. How special is that? That's not a nice to have. That's a, that's a need we all have. It's a human need. It's oxytocin. It's a brain necessity.

Okay.

So important. I got to meet my friends that I have not seen for 3 decades, and I got to reconnect with my teenager alpha matter. Okay. And we spent beautiful time together. I just was reminded the importance of friendships. I got to have a yacht party with the closest friend from my college in Istanbul. Oh my God, we had such an amazing time in Istanbul. If you want to visit Istanbul, make sure you organize a yacht party for yourself and the Bosphorus. I also got to meet another dear friend of mine that I met in LA, but she was also in Istanbul, and then we had amazing time together.

And guess what?

I also built new friendships and new relationships. That was soul nourishment. I so loved every moment of it. Friendships are not social nice-to-haves. Those are the human needs that we all have. Number 5, not everyone will understand you, and that's the whole point. What do I mean by that? When I sat down with conversations for 7 weeks in, I believe, more than 7 cities in the European side of the world, you know what I was also reminded I was reminded the importance of knowing yourself, understanding yourself, and then giving the approval, the encouragement, and the motivation to yourself instead of seeking it outside of yourself. Because people are not going to understand you.

Why?

Because it's even illogical for them to understand you completely. They are not you. They cannot understand you. They are Incapable of understanding you fully. What we can perhaps expect is a little bit of verbal understanding, something like, I hear you, I understand what you're saying. That's it. More than that, they will not understand you. They will not understand me, and that's okay. And that's the whole point, because the game of life that we are playing is the game. To win with self-love, you gotta give yourself the love, the priority, the understanding, the hug that you give to everybody else. You gotta give it to yourself. You gotta give it to yourself. That's the whole point. That is the whole point. And then we are missing the whole point. I see it everywhere. People are seeking approval from outside. People are asking each other how to do things. That's just not the point.

Stop asking. Stop asking.

You have the answer. You are the whole point. Self-love. Self-acknowledgment. Stop rejecting yourself. Stop prioritizing others over yourself. Stop denying yourself and start loving yourself. Which brings me to number 6: stop seeking and start remembering. It is in alignment with what I was saying. Because not everyone will understand you, and if you keep trying to make people understand you, you're not going to win in life. You're going to keep chasing. I have this phrase in my curriculum that I call the OPOs—other people's opinions—and those OPOs are what I am referring to. Other people's opinions are what. Unfortunately, create a lot of trouble for us. All the traumas and the dramas and troubles and all the issues. Think about it. It's all who said, she said, he said, we said, I said, you said. Who cares? Who cares? Stop seeking external validation. Stop it and start remembering your own worth, your authority. There is something In the hierarchy of consciousness, when you look at all the consciousness spectrum, you will see that authenticity actually is at the top. You know why? Authenticity comes from the word authorship, like authoring, author, right? If you are the author, you are the authority. Then when you are the authority, then you have the authenticity. That's the whole point. Give yourself the authority, not somebody else. And last but not least, number 7 is for you to be firm with your boundaries. Your boundaries are almost like your terms and conditions paper that you verbally sign in your relationships. Perhaps you are not aware, but everything is energy, so what comes out of your mouth is going to lock in that verbal agreement and you are going to build everything upon it. We don't live in a world where we are supposed to sign a physical paper and say, okay, this is our relationship and this is how we are going to behave in this relationship. We don't necessarily form relationships, especially social friendships, with that kind of foundation. We don't get to experience the relationships in the way that we experience in business, because when you are in business, terms and conditions are everywhere. It's obvious you don't start a business relationship without signing an agreement, without clarifying terms and conditions. That would be very unprofessional. So I'm inviting you, all of us, to start every new relationship with your terms and conditions, which is a label called boundaries. And guess what you need? You need clarity to know what your boundaries are so that you can create that verbal agreement with others. Those terms and conditions with others, and the reason you don't have them is because you never sat with yourself and you never ask yourself the questions: What is okay? What is not okay? What am I willing to do? What am I not willing to do? Who am I going to be? Who I will never be in this relationship? When we don't have the clarity around these questions, then we don't have clarity about who we are. And no wonder why you cannot create agreements, because you don't know who you are. You don't know your own boundaries. When you look at the world map, what do you see? Countries. What do they have? Boundaries. Need I say more? We need boundaries in The map of social relationships. You need to become a sovereign country. You need to have your flag. You need to have your mission, vision, values statements, and your operational standards, your SOPs as a human. How about we work on that? How about we turn you into a plan? How about we help you a life plan that you look at it as a business plan? Because this is the most important business we don't get to look at. So that is my 7th reminder that I got from my 7-week vacation in Europe. So I hope these points helped you. I really truly hope that you are going to have a spark, some electricity in your mind, and you are going to pause and create a life on your own terms. Based on your boundaries, your relationships, your friendships, the everyday habit that you can all put together, and you call it your dream life. In my next video, I'm going to talk about the importance of having those nourishing moments of truth that I talk about, because when I was in Belgrade in Serbia, I got to visit. The Museum of Tesla, and I have so many takeaways that I want to share with you. And of course, I'm going to turn those into some nuggets that you can apply into your life because those are neuron shining moments. It's all electricity. So we're going to talk about the importance of electricity, how your electric mind is also going to help you design your dream life. Life. Thank you for watching, and until next time, keep shining your light.

Go galactic, go galactic, go galactic. Then you're in the right place. Let's go, let's go.