Alex Butusov: Unlock Creativity in Kids with Open-Ended Play!

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, I have to say there are those moments that you are just so happy that you did the thing and this is one of those moments because I got to meet my next guest through the do the Thing community. She joined the find your voice challenge and she's now in the do the Thing audience accelerator program and have gotten to just see her grow and gotten to hear her story through her participating in the stuff that we're doing. And I cannot wait to share her with you and have you learn what she's doing for the community and for parents and for kids and things that are going to really change the game for so many people because she's tapped into something that is unique and different, that's going to help people actually live their lives instead of just consuming their lives through technology and just all the things that can come from that. So I'm so excited to welcome Alex to the show. Hi, Alex.

Hi guys. It's so great to be here.

Yay, you're here.

Hi, I'm, I'm so glad I, I found you and I joined you. I just can't wait to see what the story, how it unveils.

I know, I can't wait. Well, why don't you start off and share with the listeners all about you and your story.

So I became a mom about five years ago now and not knowing why or what the reason was behind it, but I was very anti screen at first. I didn't want my kid watching, looking at TV or phone screens. Maybe I did it too much. As you know, any first time parent, it's just you go to certain extremes. But as we started doing that, we started playing, but we started playing in a different way. The toys that even he was picking were the toys that kind of brought us together. We sat down together, we started building blocks and it's just, it made me think about how do these little minds process everything? How did they learn and that's how I started looking into open ended toys.

And I love what you just said with toys that brought us together. What did that look like for you?

To us it was mainly blocks. It was cars where we could just create different place. He's a boy and he is very passionate about cars. So even if he gets asked a personal question, he's like, what's your favorite car? What's your favorite truck? So we just started using blocks and cars and we just started building garages, we started building racetracks. And it was just always, I think, the imagination that he was tapping into his interests and that was very interesting to follow. And at some point I actually came across Montessori and it just told you about how to follow their passions and their interests and that kind of started clicking into place.

Okay, I can't wait to hear. So tell us how this has evolved now that this happened where you got to notice that he was playing with the toys that brought you together and you're seeing it expand with the race cars and all these different things. So what does that look like for you now?

So right now we continue this thing. We do allow a little bit of screen, but very little. It's not an easy task because now that he's at school, he's being told about different cartoons and even video games, believe it or not, at four and a half years old. But we're still very much into just being and spending the time together. So what I started doing is when we were choosing the toys or if we were asked what kind of toys we want, we started looking into something that we can create out of it so we can play it in various ways. So that's how I came across this whole basically opportunity and to me, an idea of what I can do, how I can create things to spark their creativity, imagination, and how to keep them busy without really the need of tv.

Okay, so this is a perfect do the thing moment, right? Because you're observing something with you and your kid and how that is kind of evolving. Even your relationship where you're playing toys together versus just having him on a screen. And then all of a sudden this idea sparked with you wanting to do it for business. I think there's a lot of people that that could happen to and then they just kind of keep going along their day. Right, Because I think you were working full time still. And so. So how did it go from that idea? And then all of a sudden kind of like, oh, this would actually be kind of cool to you actually doing it.

Yes, and, and a really cute story. I was already pregnant with my second one and I noticed how much these type of activities my older enjoyed because I was just so heavy and it was so hard for me to move around. By the end. He would take a little pillow off the couch, he would put it on the floor for me next to the couch so I can sit on it. And then he would bring a whole box of these blocks so I can sit and play with him. It just meant the world to him. Like not only that, he's taking care of him, mom. He knows I'm not feeling well, but he knows how much we enjoy this whole time together. So it was so special. And it all started evolving when I realized that okay, with two, it's going to be hard to keep the full time job. And I'm not going to lie in between the doctors and schools and days off of school, I knew I had to think for the future. I enjoyed spending time with them tremendously and I didn't want this to be cut short by 9 to 5. And that's how I started thinking about my next act. Because I enjoy and I celebrate mom's that are home, that are completely divided. I was never that type of a person that could sit still for five minutes. I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just be at home. So that kind of gave me not only an idea but a way to combine work and life balance.

And so when you had that, how do you get beyond that? This is something new and do I really want to do this? Am I capable of it? Did you go through that at all? What was that like for you?

Absolutely. I moved here in my early 20s. I moved here from a different country. I didn't know the language, I didn't know the traditions. I didn't know anything. It was moving and doing everything on the fly. So the mindset was huge. How do you switch where you're coming from? A country that they tell you, I was like, okay, you gotta stay in this job for 30, 40 years. That's your only job you're gonna ever have. You should be happy with what you have. And which, not that I wasn't, but it's a mindset. It's. It really dives into the fact that you are created to do only this one thing. But now trying to actually get out of this and think about it from a perspective, was it even going to work? Is it going to be worth the effort and the time put into it? Because when you have family, when you have responsibilities, Then you have different ways of looking at different aspects of life.

And I'd love to talk more about the early 20s part because I feel like people listening, it could still be hard for them to imagine having this moment like you did of courage and saying, okay, I'm going to try this and I'm going to see how it goes. And so I'm imagining, as you know, we kind of talk about this through the audience accelerator program having life assets and how those skills then help us do these other things. So I'd love to just maybe talk about that process of when you moved here and what that was like for you and explore that a little bit more.

It was shocking. I'm not going to say I landed in Los Angeles out of little town in Poland, Southern Poland, where 99.9 people are Catholic. I am ending up just a few miles from Hollywood. So it just tells you a difference as far as values and personalities. I mean, it's just a show. It's one show in Los Angeles when you live through it. So I definitely went through a big shock. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was definitely my faith. That was like my. My dad was going to a Polish church, we had a Polish community there. So I would say for the first two years I really hung on tied to what I knew. It was definitely extremely difficult because I had to leave my entire life behind me. That's where I had my friends, my family, everything I knew so far. So it was. First years are very, very challenging. At some point we had a death in family and I told my dad, I was like, I'm buying one way ticket, I'm going back. He was just so shocked because he didn't realize it until we got to the airport. And he's like, you're not going anywhere. Because it was just his way of telling me. I was like, no, I'm loving this time. But I came to my senses, I came back and that's when everything started changing. I had to learn how to be more outgoing and started reaching out to people that I never knew. So the job that I lended to was kind of got me in, into that mindset and it just started evolving from there.

So what was the hardest part during that time?

I would say not being able to have my friends, to have family. I have two older sisters that I am extremely tied with. We still talk on almost daily basis. So that was the hardest part. And for people that live in us, it doesn't seem like much of a difference. But to me, within three months I was able to get not only a driver license, buy a new car and get a job. I was just so ecstatic. I was like, I would never be able to accomplish that because the economy was just so bad at that time. And I came home and I wanted to cry. And the reason why, I was like, great things that happened, but I don't have anybody to share it with. Mm. And that's when I started realizing it's not about the funds, it's not about the financial wellbeing if you don't have anybody to share your greatness, your accomplishments with. And that's when I started tapping into. I was like, okay, so what is really important, is it their relationships that we have, or is it our things that we accomplish that give us better, Better life, I guess, in a sense of financial status. Yeah.

Did you meet your husband soon after that or.

So right after that, I met my husband and the world changed. We connected immediately. A few months later, we flew back to Poland and for my sister's wedding. And I am so glad nobody spoke English at that time because I was the only one left without a husband. So everybody just wanted to ask them, so when's your wedding? And I was just. It was great, but I'm very grateful that he couldn't understand. But it was great because it's just such a different tradition that seat outs, like you start at 2pm at a church, starting with the wedding, and it ends the following day at 6 in the morning. So it's a huge celebration. And after that, he told me, he's like, if I ever get married, I want to have a Polish wedding. Yes. Better than awesome.

I love that. How did you get through that part when you didn't have anyone and before you met him, what was that like for you?

It was very hard because the situation that we were in, my. My dad had to be in LA. My mom passed when I was 10 years old. He came back to be with us, to continue the life because we were in the process of moving to the United States, but my mom got sick. And the outcome was the way that it was, we couldn't really go with him. I mean, imagine a single dad with three daughters, and from ages 10 to 18, there was just no way that we could have survived. Not only physically, but I think that the dangers for teenagers and young adults. So he tried to stay. He stayed with us for quite a while. But at that point, the economy was at 22% unemployment. People over 40 did not find any jobs. So he was forced to come Back, and we stayed with my grandma, so that's how we were separated. So when I first moved here, I didn't really know him. It's like he. He moved to us when I was 4. And when I moved in my early 20s, I was so excited because I wanted to be here, and I wanted to be with him. I wanted to have the parent with me. I wanted to have that protection that every child wants. And I was so extremely happy to have him and shared so much life with him again. But, you know, it's still. It's your father. It's different than having, let's say, a sister to talk to or a friend to talk to. So as soon as I kind of got around it and I started just reaching out to people at the Polish community, and that's how I started making more friends, and I started to have somewhat of an adult life again.

Yeah, I love that you reach out to the Polish community first. That's something I work on with the dating group. With the singles group, it's like, get out the dating app and actually go to the place with the people that you want to meet. So it becomes easier to actually get outside.

Absolutely. I really do believe in that. I was like, I had a job where I had to go and greet people and a person that doesn't speak the full language yet. I was like, I'm still learning, but it just. It really gets you out of your comfort zone, and you start thriving before you know it.

How did you even go through that learning process in terms of the language and all that? And everything was so new. Well, how did you get through that kind of tone?

Like, I don't even know, to be honest with you. I started with. There's a program called esl, English as a Second Language. And they teach it especially in California. They teach it at almost every school. So that's how I started. I was just learning the basic grammar, But I think that the reason why I really learned it, because I was immersed in it. I heard it on the tv, I heard it on the street and the stores. I was surrounded by the language. And first step to learning a language is to understand it. And then it was funny that you asked, because I was answering phones, and I was like, how can I direct a phone call correctly if I don't know the language? But I guess I, by that time, already understood everything. I was writing one sentence at a time, and that's how I started memorizing it.

Wow.

And then one of the bosses said the reason why he learned was like you need to switch your mind into thinking in the language that you want to speak.

Whoa.

And that switched everything. Even though I didn't know how to say certain things. But then I was like, okay, so how do I say it? That was before Internet, really, so you couldn't look anything up. So I was just gathering and listening to other people and I just kept on repeating it in my head until I learned it.

I actually like that for another reason too. I talk a lot about mental baggage that gets in people's way from doing the things they want. And there are sometimes people will be positive on the outside, but on the inside be negative and self defeating and self deprecating. And I feel like what you said, I have to pull up the exact thing. But thinking in the language that you want to speak, I feel like that's really powerful from that layer too.

It's incredible. And I think it's with anything you want to do, you have to switch into that mindset because otherwise how are you going to get from point A to B if you're so stuck in your very sometimes critical self? Thoughts.

I'd love to talk about your business that you're building now. And I'm imagining that things from your childhood could be coming back up for you as you're now creating this for pretty much your kids, and then everyone else is going to be able to benefit from it. Has there been any of that synergistic stuff that's been happening for you?

Possibly. And because I had to be very creative, I was the youngest out of three. So as you can imagine, firstborn gets all the new toys and the shiny toys. Second one comes around, destroys it all. By the time I arrived, there was nothing left. So I had to use my creativity. We spend a lot of time outside. Poland's not as cold, but it's still. It's got a lot of elements, it's got a lot of rain, a lot of moisture. So the funnest part that I still remember, and we actually left with my neighbor because he was only like a week older than I was. Our favorite activity was to make mud pies. Oh, yeah. Because there was nothing to do. There was nowhere to go. So we would just go outside and just create a play out of anything.

Let's talk more about the company. So tell us the company name and what your hopes are for it. And especially because now you're building a community, so all kinds of things are going to be coming alive soon.

Yeah. So the name that we came up with was Bunny Mae. We are very attracted to little bunnies. My kids are loving it. And the reason I wanted to create it is because I seen an opportunity in creating the open ended games. And to me that was so beneficial, seeing how they were playing and how they were using it and how they included us in it. So coming up with ideas, tapping into the creative side of an account, which almost I didn't know that it existed, was a really fun way. I was like, once I started looking into ideas and what's possible, it's just opened a different mindset for me. So that's how I'm creating my activities. I'm looking to what they like to do, how they like to play with things. And one of the things that I wanted to create that I found a benefit in is having templates of play. Because I was in the position once where you were working and then once you stopped working, you had so many things to do. One of the things that I enjoyed was planning the activities, but not planning them, just having little templates and having them follow somewhat of a pattern or not, but just having an activity for them to choose from as to what they wanted to do and tapping into their creativity, how they wanted to play with it. So sometimes I'll just put a toy out there and I'll just leave it and see what happens. And then once they look at it and they immediately jump into it, they start creating all different role plays. And it's incredible. I mean, watching two and a half year olds starting to, it's like, hey, what's your name? And you know, it's like he just starts to go into a conversation. It's like, I see so much value in it because I know I wouldn't be able to do that for them if the TV was on. And I was like, as much as I don't really want to go into the screens, but knowing and finding so much research pointing into how degenerative screens are for our children is just incredible. And I'm glad that it's coming out because it's giving us a different knowledge as parents.

Yeah, there's a lot coming alive for me as I'm hearing you talk. Because where you're talking about, especially with these templates that you're looking to provide people with, you're giving the kids a starting point to be able to expand their mind. It kind of makes me think of just. Even when you exercise, sometimes it's hard to say, oh, I'm gonna go to the gym and work out for 40 minutes. But to say, I'm gonna start with a five minute walk. And then all of a sudden that turns into then you wanting to go to the gym. Right. Cause you're active. I feel like this will be really similar where it sounds like they're starting with that and then all of a sudden they're having conversations and now they're doing this. And there's this evolution that keeps happening as it elevates as they're doing this process.

Absolutely. And like you mentioned with the gym, even if you sounds like I'm going to go in there for 30 minutes or I'm going to go in there for 10 minutes, but the moment you get there and you start knowing how good it feels that you're actually doing it and you're in the moment, it gives you so much more power and so much more energy to go further and explore further.

Okay, tell us about your community and what we have to look forward to there.

So the community that I wanted to create is to celebrate moms and help them along the way on their parenting journey, to give them inspiration and just give them a pat on the back. Because as a lot of you know, it's very hard to be home. It's very hard to be a parent. It's not an easy task. But having someone in your corner, having someone to share your experiences to or even struggles, I mean, we, we know we don't have 10 out of 10 great days. We have these moments where it would be nice to reach out to someone or ask questions if they don't, let's say, have family around or if they don't have friends that are on the same life stage as they are. I think that's how it all came around. Just to create a space for the moms to celebrate each other.

And as far as the products go, I know you're talking about templates and you're researching toy manufacturers right now. What does that look like for.

Yes, I am in a progress to create a prototype right now. I am vetting the manufacturers to see what comes back best. What I want to focus on is high quality because I know that children, some have less energy, some have more, but they have to be strong toys. They have to be well made. And that's what my passion is to too. And also making them as environmentally friendly as we can.

Okay, so people are listening. Some people and are saying, how in the world is she figuring all this stuff out? What is happening? What do you think is your method for being able to do what you're doing and how you keep moving through without knowing what each step is going to be.

I think it's just through experience. You just watch pieces of content here and there, but it's really learning on your mistakes or on your experience. I wouldn't never call them mistakes. You're just learning as you go. I wouldn't even know at first what a process would be to create something like that, to bring it to life. And now I'm just starting to learn one step at a time. And sometimes it takes two or three times. It takes multiple manufacturers to talk to. But you know that you're always going to get the yes. At the end of the day, you are going to get the sample to test it out and you just keep pushing forward. Just like in parenthood. Yes, we may have one bad day, but there is a hope for the next better day. Right. And it's. I think it's our mindset and approach it. If you wake up knowing that this is going to be a great day, I'm going to make it a better day. And I think that's what's giving me that push forward.

You're speaking to something that I've tried to articulate before. So I'm going to try it now because you've compared it to parenthood in terms of building a business. And I look at people expanding their comfort zone very similar to parenting, because sometimes it's hard for people to get off that safe space. Right. And to say, oh, I'm going to do that, it's scary. Even you. Right. We've talked about coming on video, doing lives and all that stuff, but for some reason, when people become a parent, it's like you never know what's happening from one day to the next and you're constantly stretching our comfort zone. But there's this reason to do it. So anyway, I just. I think it's cool that you just connected it because I feel like the more that we can connect to something else that we're doing that's already kind of like we have no idea what's happening until we do it. It can help us actually finally get out of the protective bubble that a lot of us feel like we have to be in. So then we can actually live and do the things that we want.

Absolutely.

Okay. I'd love to hear your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing.

Don't get too stuck in your head. I think there's so much to you. There's so much to your personality. Listen to your instincts. That might be maybe scary at first, but Give it a shot. I think that once you try it and once you stretch it one step at a time, I think it'll get you to places that you've never imagined.

Okay. Please share what people can find out about you and follow you along on your journey.

We are having an Instagram community for the moms where we share the tips and encouragement and we are also on Facebook as well as we are actively doing the campaign for registering people on the newsletter to let them know where we are in the process of creating the toys.

Share your Instagram and then your Facebook too.

So our Instagram and Facebook is called Mom's Meadow. Our brand is called Bunny Mae.

Okay. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you wish I asked you?

Well, I'm just happy to be here. As you mentioned before, doing the thing, getting out of your comfort zone. I think I fast so many comfort levels and I'm here. So just as a gratitude to you, to your community for doing what you're doing and bringing all these people to next level.

Thank you so much for coming on. It's just so wonderful having you in the community and I just love what you're doing and I'm rooting you on.

Thank you. Thank you so much. It's so great to be here and it's so great getting to know you as well.

And for the listeners. Do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity, Create it and hey guys, have you checked out my Facebook group yet? Go to do the thingcommunity.com thanks for.

Listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show, but even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing or email us at hello, do the Thing podcast dot com.