Betsy Pake: Discover Why This NLP Trainer Knew There Was Something Bigger And Better For Her, Creating Her Own Path To Move From A To Z

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. I met my next guest through a mutual friend and she has such an inspirational story. She had accomplished so many things from having a great sales career to being an Olympic style lifter and she was even a CrossFit gym owner. Then she got to a point where she felt compelled to leave all of that behind and try something new. She talks about how the love of her daughter and wanting to help her guided her on this new path where she's now helping so many others. Say yes to possibilities. On this episode, she really goes into so many extraordinary learnings from what gets in your way to learning to trust yourself and how she took a scrappy approach to becoming a public speaker. I am beyond excited to welcome Betsy Paik to the show. Hi, Betsy.

Hey, how are you?

I am doing great.

How are you? I am so good. I'm excited to be here with you today.

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I love when I get referred to someone that's amazing and then don't know anything about them and then get like explore all about you during this episode. So I'm really, really excited.

Yeah, good. I was listening to some of your episodes. There's such good guests so I'm honored to be included among one of them.

Well, I would love to start off and have you just share your background and your story.

Yeah. So I am a trainer of neuro linguistic programming and hypnotherapy. So I train life coaches basically and I've worked as a coach for the past 12 years and I've built my business in an environment that was really, I'm going to say challenging. That was really challenging at home. So I have a daughter who is 20 years old and she and I have talked about this story that I'm about to, to share. So I'm going to, I'm going to share something that's personal to her. But I've had her permission and she has talked about it. So my daughter struggles with mental illness, and so I really sort of created my business about 12 years ago so that I could help her when she was really struggling in, like, sevent or eighth grade. And I wanted to not have a job where I was going to work every day or traveling. I traveled a lot in my previous position. And so I created a job for myself in this industry and built it during a time that was really stressful. And I think the reason that this is really important, and I think an important story to share, is that lots of times people want to create something new, but the circumstances in their life slow them down or even would say really loud. Now is not the time. And what I say is, it is the time. It is always the time to be able to fulfill something in you and create something new and express yourself in a different way. Years ago, I remember seeing a quote that Amelia Earhart had written on the side of her plane. Always think with your stick forward. And the idea is really that you go once you are airborne, you just go, go, go. You keep going, and you take actions. And even if there are things that are happening or there's a lot of turbulence, or things seem a little overwhelming, we continue to make choices and move forward. And that's really the most important thing. And if we can continue to take action, we can stay out of a rut and we can stay out of being stuck. So I just did the thing. Yeah.

And it's amazing. And I think that's like, a huge part of how you did the thing. Right. You had this big catalyst with wanting to help your daughter kind of recover from or get through mental health, and then to be able to use it as almost like your superpower, to be able to learn about it, and now you're able to help others. I think that's. That's unbelievable.

Yeah. And I think the interesting thing is that that it started to create my path as I would try to discover something else that could help her or another way that I could look at the situation so that it became bearable or really, like, okay to be struggling where it could be okay to be struggling. I had to learn a lot of tools. And so in that, discovery of those tools actually helped shape and define my business into what it is today. It would not be the way that it is if I hadn't gone through that experience.

Actually, it was funny. I was right before we talked, I mentioned I was editing an episode that I just did with a coach that I worked with on and off for the last Couple years. And it's all about identifying what your life assets are. We each have a story, right. Where we have struggles that we've gone through, that we've had to overcome and skills that we built up from those struggles and learnings. And it's just really speaking to me right now because it's this idea of just everything that you've gone through by being able to help her now you've built up this whole tool belt of self skills that you have because of that experience.

Yeah, absolutely. And that I can help other people. And I think that what happens a lot with folks is they get this idea I want to create a business. And then they say these would be the steps, like I'm going to do this thing and then this thing and then this thing. But. But something goes sideways because it always does. Like the path is never the way that you think it's going to be. Right. And then we think, oh, well, that's not what's supposed to happen. That's not what's supposed to happen next. That wasn't number two on my list of things. And so then that, that throws us off course and we, we don't understand and we don't have the belief our story is that that's wrong. Instead of that story being like, oh, I have an end goal. I'm starting at point A, I want to get to Z. And however it gets me there is exactly right. And I think that releasing the expectation of it needs to go a certain way, has to, has to work out in the way that I, that I envision it and instead say all these little twists and turns are actually what's creating what I really want. I think it makes it a lot more fun and it makes it a lot less stressful.

Definitely. Yeah. And I've been, I've been really exploring this idea of following breadcrumbs. Yes, I know what you're speaking to now. It's like all these little breadcrumbs that happen. So you're not dead set on how you're getting somewhere. It's just sort of evolving as you move, basically.

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's what stresses people out. Right. When people get super stressed, it's because they're, they think it's supposed to go a certain way. And then when it's not, they get all stressed out. But instead I decided that every day I would just see how it was unfolding and that would be the adventure that I want to get to Z. I still want to get to Z. The image that I have or the vision that I have. But I am having so much fun in X, Y pdq. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm having so much fun just in this middle on the journey that it, it almost doesn't matter to me. Like, I like having a target and a place where I'm headed. But however I get there is just the unfolding I'm really experiencing in a. In a way that, that's delights me.

What do you think someone gets when they understand that concept? And then they're able to just kind of follow the path of whatever that path is with the curves and things like that, and then maybe they see they can do one thing and then another thing. What do you think that gives them and knowing that they're able to do it?

Well, I mean, I think that if you can have certainty, like I know that thing will happen, I don't know how and I don't know how long it will take, but I have certainty then I can release the stress, right? So they're giving up the stress. They're giving up the story of how it's supposed to happen. And then what they get in return is they want the thing because they think the thing is going to bring them joy. So if they give all of that story and restriction and holding on so tight, then they get the joy right off. They don't even have to wait for Z, right?

Because they're enjoying A to B to G. Yes, yes.

And you know, when I look at my path, I'm a trainer, but I also speak. So I speak to organizations about possibility and I travel all over the country and speak to big companies and as a keynote. Now I wanted to do this six years ago and it was really difficult because my daughter was sick. So I didn't know could I really get booked somewhere? Because what if something's happening? And so there was a fear there and so I really broke it down. Do I. Is it that I want to go fly to Walla Walla, Washington and speak, right? Or is it that I have a message that I want to share? And so I decided it was the message that was really the longing that I had. Right? And so I actually called a Panera Bread and I was like, can I come and host? I want to have like a monthly. Like I'm going to come speak and I'm going to just invite people. They were like, okay. I don't know what they thought I was doing, but they gave me like this little back room that had doors that shut and so I created a meetup and every month I would be the keynote speaker at this event that I just made up. But it started getting really big crowds and I got to practice. And then when I got hired, I was so good because I'd been practicing for years in front of a crowd at Panera Bread. It sounds so silly, but it brought me joy right as I was heading to Z.

So there's so much about this that I love because this is something that everyone listening can literally do whatever form that is. Right. I interviewed someone, her name's Tommasa. She's. I can't remember which episode. Episode, but it was. It was pretty much that idea where she just started a community cleanup event in her neighborhood. And in her mind, it didn't matter how many people showed up, just that she did the event and then whoever showed up stood up. And I love that idea of just something simple, you know, kind of starting and that's like the beginning of it and not having an expectation of how something's going to be. And I think you're really speaking to that with this. It's like you didn't need any money, you didn't need any really experience really. It was just that you had a desire for and a yearning for and then you did the thing basically, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you go through. Let's talk about that because I want to get back to your business now. And. And then also it was in your mindset when you were raising your daughter and going through this. But I want to stick here for a minute because there's so. There's so much in this that I want to explore. So. So you had the. The why of wanting to be able to get your message out. So that was your reason for wanting to speak. And you realize, okay, I can't travel right now because what if something happens with my daughter? I need to be home for her. How did even the idea of Panera Bread come out for you? Like where did that even come from?

Yeah, I think I saw something on Facebook where someone was doing a meetup. And at that time I was getting really into meditation because that was like something I could do or I could travel somewhere else. And so I saw someone that was. Had posted something about a meditation meetup and I got on meetup. Do you know what meetup is?

Yeah, Oto, totally. Yeah.

Okay. So I. So I never did anything on meetup, but I did go to the website and looked all over around and then I was. Wait a minute. It just came to me And I feel those are the moments where it's divine intervention. This is the thing you're asking for. And I got clear. So it wasn't that I wanted to go some big company and speak. I had a message that was the core of what my desire was. And so when I got clear on what the desire was, it took away some of the constraints because the desire was to speak. And I mean, with the Internet, even that could be fulfilled in just moments. I could get online and speak, but I also had the desire to. To connect with people. I really wanted to see people. And I felt like I was having a hard time helping my daughter. And I thought, well, maybe I could help because I'm not a mental health professional. Like, that wasn't my training. And so I thought, well, I'm not being great right now at helping her. I'm being a really good mom, and I'm getting her all the resources, but I'm just not. It's not. I'm not helping, but I. Maybe I could help somebody else. And that felt really good to me. So it was the idea that I want to speak and I want to be with people and I want to feel like I'm helping people. And then when I saw the meetup, I just got the idea of, like, oh, I could just do a meetup. I don't even know how I thought of Panera Bread, because Panera Bread isn't like a place I go typically or hang out. But there was one not far from my house, and I was like, I bet I could do it there, because it was community thing. And I was. I bet I could do it. I'm not charging. And literally, I don't even think the manager knew what I was asking. And he said, and then I just kept coming back every month. So, I mean, he was like, well, we told her she could, and people would buy coffee, so they were happy. Yeah. And so it just kind of took off from there. And then people would come every month. They bring their friends when they'd stop and get coffee and listen, you basically identified your.

Why you're realizing you want to get your message out, you want to help people, you want to be able to impact in that way. Then you saw the thing on Facebook and you. You said, okay, great. This meetup idea sounds great. Let me try it. Panera Bread basically comes into you.

Yes.

The manager. And you're like, hey, I'd love to speak at your restaurant once a month. Was that what it was? Once a month and do a little meetup. And then. So then from there, what did you. How did you get the people to show up? What did you do?

So I just set up a meetup and I called it coffee and coaching, and I said that there'd be a keynote speaker. This happened. It was me. Yeah.

That is so great. And so you just put it on meetup and. Yeah, basically, like, created the event on meetup. And you're coffee and coaching. I'm speaking at this Panera Bread.

Yep.

Show up.

And then people would just show up. Okay. And then.

So people, how did you kind of figure out your message? How did that next part work where you were getting through what you're going to talk about? I'm imagining something in mind, but just curious what that was.

Yeah. So I have always felt there's something bigger for me, there's something else. And I realized as I would talk to friends or like, I'm. I'm in my 50s now, so, I mean, I was in my early 40s, and I realized when I talked to friends, a lot of my friends in their late 30s, early 40s, they had that same feeling. Put a lot of attention and devotion into my family or my kids or my husband or my career even. But my career was something that I sort of fell into, and I was in that position. I had been in sales for 20 years, and honestly, I loved it. I was great at it, and I had so much fun. But I always felt like there's something more. I'm supposed to be more. And so I think that's a common thing. And so in that feeling, I knew that if I was feeling that and a few of my friends were feeling that, that there was probably a whole lot of people that were feeling that. And so I thought, if that's where I am, how do I get to where I want to go? What are the things I'd need to learn? And so I would begin learning those things, and then I'd teach those things. So every month was just something new that I learned or a thought that I had or a story about my life where I found meaning.

And then how long was your. How long was it for?

It was like 30 minutes. And then people would stay and talk and like, network and stuff.

And were you nervous? Like, what did that look like when you first did your first one?

I was more nervous. So I made these little table. I mean, this feels so ridiculous now, I'm saying out loud. So I made these little table tents that said reserved because I wanted to reserve some tables in that little area. And so I was more nervous about that because I didn't want the manager to come and be like, you can't reserve these tables. I don't know what I was thinking. But. But once people got there, I don't know, it just felt really natural to me. And that's what I do now. I speak all over. And that's. That was not. It's natural to me. So it wasn't scary. It was just really fun to be able to share with people.

So you immediately sort of fell in once you were more scared that someone was going to kick you out of the restaurant.

Yes.

Yes.

That all these people would show up, dozen people or whatever that had come that first time, and then not have anywhere to go.

Yeah. Okay, so before we move forward, I wanted to ask you, let's say someone listening is listening to this and they're inspired and they want to do something.

This.

What would your recommendation be for them to be able to. This thing.

Yeah. To whatever their thing is.

Whatever their thing is. Yeah.

Yeah. I would say find out what is the element of it that you really want to do. Right. Because lots of times we pack a whole bunch of story around it. But what's the element that is the thing you really want to experience? And then I'd take it one step forward. And what's the feeling of it? Maybe you want to travel to Tanzania and you can't. You don't have the money, you don't have the time off, like, whatever that is. But then what's the feeling of it? And then when you get that, then you could say, what are the other ways that I can experience that? And that can start to get the juices flowing and get you thinking differently. And one of the things that I tell my clients all the time is in the evening, right before you fall asleep, you know, when you're in that. That really good state, right before you fall asleep, or even then in the morning when you're about to wake up and you're like, oh, I don't want to get up. It feels so good. You're in a theta brainwave state. And so you're very suggestible. So I love to, like, write down what it is that I want to. What do I want to know? What do I. What's the problem? I have. I will write it down on a notepad by my bed. And before I go to sleep, I will think about it. How could this happen? How could this. What could the solution be? How could I discover it? What could happen? What's possible? And my Unconscious mind will keep thinking about that all night long. And in the morning, you might have some really great ideas that come up with my best ideas, like, first thing in the morning, like, what are you thinking about? What did you dream about? And that can kind of start giving you new ideas, too.

Yeah. It's like you're accessing the librarian in your brain, and then all of a sudden, they find the book.

Yes, totally.

Yeah. No, I really. I really like that concept, for sure. So there's so much about this that I'd like just because, you know, how what you focus on grows, and there's so many people that are living in that, oh, I can't do this, or I wish I could do that, but you're really just flipping it. You're taking full responsibility, especially when you're giving that example of you wanting to travel and speak. Because then you're thinking. You're not like, oh, I can't do that. And immediately shutting it down, you're thinking, well, how could I do that? What do I really want from that? What is the feeling that I want? And you're being able to flip it in a way that then you're. You're f. You're trying to pull it out, essentially. Whereas if you just shut it down and said, oh, I can't do it because my daughter's. My daughter might need me, then we'd be in a different situation, talking.

Yeah. Yeah. And one of my favorite questions is, well, how could it happen? I remember also, at that time, I really wanted to hire a coach. This past week, I went to Norfolk, Virginia, and spent a VIP day with my business coach. It was so fun. And I was thinking when I was there, oh, my God, I wanted this so bad. And over the years, I've hired lots of business coaches, and it's been incredible. But at that time, I didn't have the money to buy a business coach, to hire a business coach. And I remember thinking, like, if I had. Do you know who Sarah Blakely is?

Oh, I love her.

Yeah. From Spanx. So I remember thinking, because I have, like, a mild obsession with her, I remember thinking, if. If I had had who she had, then I could do whatever I wanted to do. Right. These ideas in my head that I just don't have what they have. And I started challenging myself because I was like, is that true? Like, is that true that I don't have access to what they have access to? And so I started thinking about that, and so I made a list of all the people that I would Hire as coaches if I could. But, I mean, people like Sarah Blakely, right. I want to spend a month with Tony Robbins. I want to have. I had these lists, this list of people, and what I did was I made them my virtual mentor. So I would go and print out a photo of them, and I'd put it in a frame. And then for that month, the month of November, is Sarah Blakely. And she. Every day, I listened to some podcast she was on, some speech she gave on YouTube, some. I read something of hers. I watched her Instagrams. I did. Do you know what I mean? Like, I immersed myself so that I would start to know who she was being. Like, who she was being, not what she was doing, but who was she being in that. Because she built this huge company, and she didn't build it by saying, oh, if I had what they had, that's not how she did it. So I was like, who she being? And how is she being different from me? And then after I did it for about six months, I would come up with. I would have a problem in my business or even my life, and I would select. I called them board members. Be like, I'm going to have a meeting with the board. My husband would be like, okay, weirdo. And I would pull the pictures off of my bookcase and line them up on my desk, and I would tell them my problem, and I would have each of them give me advice. And because I had spent so much time with them, I knew how they were gonna. What? They all said something different, but I knew how they thought. I knew who they were being. I could get a totally different perspective, as if I were them. Last winter, I ran into Sarah Blakely at the Whole Foods.

Oh, my gosh. Are you serious?

Yeah, of course, weirdo. I was, oh, my God, you're on.

My board of directors.

And she was. I do not know what that means. I don't know. But she was lovely. And we took our photo together, and I told her the story. So, yeah, there's always a way. Yeah.

And it's opening up your mind to that. So let's go back to what happened with your daughter in terms of you kind of getting through that look. What do you think was the biggest thing or photo? And ask first, because there's a lot in there. What was the first thing that you did that helped you kind of at least go, okay, I need to. I need to actually do something about being able to help in the situation versus. My point is, is there's some people that just might Accept whatever's going on and then kind of live with that. But you're actually becoming the advocate in a way for your.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, she was having a lot of trouble at school and it was difficult for her to maintain. And because we are so close, it was hard for. She would reach out to me in school and message me. And I knew that there was just so much struggle there. And it got to the point where it just was like, this would be. I want to do something new. Like, I want to open up and expand into something different. And so maybe this is an opportunity where I can serve her and expand into something else that's out there for me now. At the time, about 12 years ago, I did open a CrossFit gym, and I owned a CrossFit gym, and I was an Olympic style lifter. So I was athlete and. And competed all over. And that quickly became, like, overwhelming because of the amount of time I'd have to be there. So I realized I made this decision to open the CrossFit gym in an effort to be around, and it didn't work. And so I had to figure out a different way. So a lot of people said to me, betsy, that's what you always wanted to do. Like, that seemed perfect for you. That was so great. And it was. And I had to be able to say, yeah, I know everybody thinks this is great. I know from the outside my life looks really freaking great, but it's not. I have to make a change. So there was a lot in that, in just making that transition of saying, this isn't working for me and I've got to be around the actual house more. And so how can I do this? And then I transitioned to being, to being online, to coaching online. And that's kind of how that started. So helping her, being able to be around for her kind of helped me define my business in a lot of ways.

How do you think? Because I think that's hard for so many people when they're hearing people say something about you that's different than what you believe. How do you think you then trusted yourself to be able to make that decision?

Yeah, you know, I remember one morning, it was like a Saturday morning, and usually I'd have to be at the gym, and that particular morning, somebody else, another coach, was running the class. And I remember I got up really early. Like, it was quiet, nobody was up. And I was like, oh, my God, this is. Is so great. And all of a sudden I. I just felt like I was going to start Crying. And I was like, I'm so relieved that I don't have to go to the gym. And so I remember I threw myself on the couch and we had these, like, skylights in our ceiling at the time. And I remember looking through those skylights and I remember saying, well, what we always hear people say is like, is this it? And so then my next thought was, well, if you could do anything you wanted, what would you do? And that opened up possibility of what do I really want? And I actually wrote and wrote, I wrote on my iPad, I mean, an hour of what it would look like and how I would be living and. And some of that. I mean, George Clooney wasn't available and I was already married, so that part of it didn't. Didn't really work out. But I get super clear, just like I was writing a movie script of how it would be and what I would be doing and how it would feel. And I didn't know specifically what work I would be doing, but how that would feel. And would I be home, would I be able to do, you know, all the different things? So getting that clarity, just being quiet and asking, like, honestly, being brave enough to ask the question, because I already had a business and it was successful and it looked great from the outside, and so to say, oh, I know, I keep saying I wanted this and now I have it and I don't really want it. Look. Oh, just kidding. Like, that was a hard thing. And when I finally got super clear, it took me a few months, four or five months to actually transition and decide how I was gonna. How I was gonna end that. And so then it was like, here we go again, like, starting all over.

What do you think was the hardest thing that you went through during that time?

I think. I think at that time I really wanted to be liked. And it was really hard because people were upset that I was selling the gym. I really wanted to be liked, and it worked. And then when I made a change that was right for me and my family, then I became not unliked. But I mean that people don't like change. And that was a struggle. And so I had to really do some soul searching at that time of what's super important. And when I live my life and make decisions and become clear on what I believe and what I support and all of those things for my life moving forward. Whose approval do I need? I need my approval and, like, probably my daughter and my husband other than that. And so that, I think was the hardest thing and also provided this really great opportunity where I could make decisions so much easier in the future because I had that clarity.

Yeah, there's a lot. A lot in there, too.

So.

So what are your. When you're making a decision, what's kind of your process? So you're making sure that you're in a quiet place, right? So you can settle down your mind, and then you go through a. It sounds like you're going through, like, a questioning process for yourself. So then you can tap into what you want and not what other people.

So I. I call it deep streaming. That's what I call it.

I like that word. That's a great word.

Yeah. And I. The way that I describe this is that I can take Betsy, the personality of me, the. The me that's like, chattering at myself all day as I walk around. I can take her and take, like, sort of put her in another room and just close the door. I can still kind of hear her, but it's not the loudness that she normally is. Right. She's muffled. And then I do a lot of breathing. And I actually. I teach this in my. In my training class, but I move my eyes to a specific place and depend. With nlp, we have eye access and cues. So I actually move my eyes down and to the right, which is. It accesses my feelings. And I move my eyes down there. And I breathe. And anytime I hear Betsy in the other room, I just breathe her away. And I just wait. And I just wait. And then I. I typically will ask, what do I need to know today? What do I need to know today? And then something will come out. I'll hear something. And how I started doing it was on my iPad with, like, my typewriter. Typewriter, that's my age. It's the keyboard, right? And for me, that really works. And I just type. I don't try and process what I'm typing. I just let it come. It is just me, but it's just this deepest part of me. And then when I get something, then I'll read it, and then I'll ask another question and I'll ask a lot of questions to get clarity and to say, what if I do that? What if I don't do that? What if I do it later? I just really dive in and I. Then I again am quiet. I move my eyes and I breathe, and I pull out what those answers are. Now, those little nuggets that I get, I actually text those out in the mornings. So people that are on my text list get these little nuggets but it's so interesting to me because people will message me and say, oh, my God, like, this is exactly what I needed. Because just when I was trying to decide what I was going to speak about, and I realized all my friends and I had similar things. I think we are all so similar. The stories might look different, but the. The emotion and the guidance that we need is all so the same.

Well, I got to get on your text list.

Yeah, come on over. We'll have to.

We'll have to have you share that at the end, for sure. So what does your business look like now? What does your coaches. Coaching. Because you're coaching and your speaker.

Do you.

Did you write a book, too?

Yeah, I wrote a book probably about five years ago. There's another one that's being cooked up in my mind, but I'm just letting it come. Yeah. Yeah. So. So what my business looks like now is I do take certain clients. I. So I have it kind of set up. If you kind of think of it as two columns, I guess. So there's the Betsy Paik column, and that's the part of me that goes out and speaks and talks about possibility. And I also do workshops or breakout sessions for companies. And then I also do cocoon days. So where I'll have a client come in, fly into Atlanta, where I live, and we will go out to dinner. And then the next day, we spend a whole day, eight hours, working just on a shift in one area of their life. And we use NLP and hypnotherapy so that when they're done, they have a complete realignment. And so. So that's like the side of me that's like the coach. And then I also have something called the Alchemy Institute, and that's where we train coaches, and I train people in all those modalities and NLP and hypnotherapy and emotional freedom technique, deep streaming, all of that.

And how did you get your clients?

So after some time at the Panera, I decided that those messages should be to more people, right? So I put them all on a podcast. So I have a podcast called the Art of Living Big. And in those, I started just sharing what I had been sharing at the Panera. Now, in the beginning, I thought, well, I'll do some. I'll do some interviews, and then I'll do some speaking. Because again, I had this idea that maybe people didn't want to hear me, that I got to bring other people in. So I moved from the Panera to the Podcast and then brought in some guests. And after about 50 episodes, I decided now I'll bring in guests every once in a while, but I'm going to just share stories and meaning. And so that's what I started to do. So I got a lot of get. I got a lot of clients just from hearing me on podcasts, honestly, either hearing me on my own or on somebody else's. I have a really great audience that. That shares a lot, which I'm really honored. I remember the very first time my podcast went out, I had 23 listens. And I remember I told my husband, and he was like, oh, I'm sorry. I was like, no, it was 23. If those people had shown up live, I would have been 23 people. Right? Like, we forget. And so I was thrilled. So to me, it was amazing. And now when thousands of people listen, I'm like, that is the cool, like, can we all. Let's come and be live again. So that's really the how I mainly get my clients. Years ago, I ran AD for a little while, like, long before COVID but that just didn't work out as well for me. I just found, like, the people that are drawn to me are really specific, and they're awesome. And so me just sharing my message as many places as I can works the best.

And what do you think's been the hardest thing for you with building your business?

Sometimes expectation. Knowing that the journey is what's going to be important and not getting to zoom. But I'm human, so there are times where I'm like, oh, why couldn't that be bigger or better? Couldn't I get more speaking gigs? Or couldn't I, you know, whatever that is. So I do think me handling the expectation has been a hard part. And the other hard part is sometimes we create something and we run it for a little while, and then. Then we're like, I want to do something new. I'm creative, and I like to do new things. And so I was running a program all the time called the Rise, and it was great. And the people that came in were amazing. And after a while, I just got. I got tired of it. Now I run it once a year, and it's so fun because it's just once a year. But having those hard conversations with myself and saying, I know this makes a lot of money, and I know my CPA would say, do not stop doing that, but I don't. But I'm feeling called to other things, you know, and every time I do that, then Something else fills its spot.

Yeah, it's interesting. With all the things that you do, I think one of the most unique things that you have is that ability to really follow your own intuition. I think that's so hard for people is to just find that trust in themselves and to listen to that over anything else.

Well, we're told constantly not to do that. Unconsciously marketing tells us, don't trust yourself. Trust this product. Right. Don't listen to yourself. And I think as women, a lot, we're told, just do what you're told. Just do this thing and don't make a fuss. And I think as kids, at least when I was young, there was that idea of a kid should be seen and not heard. Right. So we're constantly told, do not listen to yourself. And I know when women come to me, that's their biggest problem. It shows up as other things. They think they have a problem with their career or their husband or the. But it's not. It's always that listening to themselves, because that when you can do that, you can figure everything out. But, yeah, I think it's a really common thing because we're taught not to do that, and we're taught that gut feeling or whatever, like, that's. That's crazy.

Is there anything on top? I want to make sure we've tapped into that completely because that's something as people are trying to do the thing, that's something that keeps coming up. Right. Because they might be in one direction of being like, I want to do this. And then all of a sudden, people around them might say, like, why would you want to do that? You know, and it's.

Yeah.

Or the opposite. People are, oh, you should do this. You'd be really good at this. But that's not what their calling is. So what else do you think could help them really tap into that knowing.

Yeah, I mean, I think practice. So I think that sometimes people try. And I say, just sit for five minutes. Sit for five minutes. If your brain goes all over the place, that's okay. Just sit. Your brain's going to tell you, get up. We got stuff to do. There's a list. Throw the laundry in. Tell your brain, no, I'm sitting here five minutes. That's it. And I think that we. We do that once because we've heard that before, and we do it once, and we go, oh, that didn't work. It was so uncomfortable. That's not for me. I'm not a meditator. And I say, don't meditate. Just Sit and think. Just sit. And it's a practice, so you have to practice. I'm so much better at it now. I can sit down now and like within just a couple minutes I can be like super deep and like getting all kinds of good stuff. But when I started doing that, I would sit there for 20 minutes before I'd hear like a little peep. That didn't sound like me. The Betsy in the other room, that sounded like a deeper part of me. And so I think, practice, be kind with yourself and say, I've spent all of this time in my life learning not to listen to that thing. And now I'm going to listen. And so I'm going to. It's going to take me that long to unlearn, so I've got to spend some time. And the second thing I would say is I would do things. I would make a game out of it. I. I would know I had to go pick up my daughter at school. And I know the route to get there, but I would just use my intuition. Do I take a right here? Do I take a left? Even if it took me all around. But sometimes I would go all around because it was telling me to. And I would pass some thing where I would be like, oh, oh my God, that's such a good idea. I need to talk about that. It would give me some idea or some thing would come into my awareness that I had missed before. So I would play a game like, do I take the stairs or the elevator? What's my gut say? How do I drive? What do I do? Like, what do I wear? Let my intuition pick. I think that. How. How do I know it's my intuition? I think we get. I think language plays a big part in our rejection of listening to our intuition because we hear all that stuff about psychics or woo woo or whatever, whatever that is. And I always say it's a gut feeling. Just use your gut. Like even most men are comfortable with that idea, right? What's your gut say? Does your gut say red today? Or does your gut say a white shirt? And just play it at like a game and it will start to become. Once you start listening, then it'll start to become easier and easier and really obvious. I'm not supposed to do that. I don't know why, but I'm not supposed to. And so I don't.

Well, it's the do the thing. Language. Flexing the muscle over and over again until it becomes more automatic and in tune with what you want.

Yes, absolutely.

That's Amazing advice. So who are the people that you're helping? What are. What's kind of. What are they coming to you for? Like, especially when they're doing that. Cocoon Day. What a great name, by the way.

Yeah, thank you. With Cocoon Days, it would be someone that so typically will work on one area of their life. So they'd come to me because, you know, they have weight, they want to lose. That's one of the big things. And I know that that the reason that people gain weight is not because they don't know what to eat. Everybody knows what to eat. You can Google it. It'll give you a list. So we're doing. We're gaining weight for other reasons, right? We're eating for other reasons. So weight is one. Career or finances. Money is a big one. Sometimes it's relationships or just setting boundaries. And what we do is we actually. We pull a list of all of their values around that thing, and then we do. I do a huge interview, and then we do what I call change work. So we release negative emotion, limiting beliefs. We integrate parts. You know, part of me wants this and part of me wants that. We integrate those parts and we just do a ton of healing. And then at the end, we pull their values again. And they're always different because they've changed. And so it's like evidence at the end that you've got this different result that you're going to start seeing. And when we change from that high, high level of your unconscious, then your behavior changes, but you don't have to do the work. You're not hustling, because who you are is different. When I was an athlete, we would go on vacation, and when I would book the vacation, I would just call gyms in the area and be like, I'm coming to your area. Can I come and work out? And they would say, yes. A couple months ago, I went to Key west and I did not call any gyms to see because I'm not an athlete anymore, right? Do you know what I mean? Like, now I was like, do I even bring anything other than flip flops? So when we are being. When we have the identity of the person who is, then we can flow. Like, that's the difference between the flow and hustle. I'm not consciously making changes because the moment I'm not consciously thinking about it, I'm going to go back to what my unconscious tells me, to what my unconscious is running, that program that's running underneath.

So what do you think is the biggest thing that gets in their way when they're coming to you.

Oh, past programming. Just like by the time we're like, 00 to 7, we're just saying yes. Like, we're in that same brainwave state that I was talking about where when you're falling asleep, so we're just living in that. And so we say yes to everything. And we're being programmed. These are the beliefs. These are the things that you should be thinking. This is what's true, this is what's not true. And. And then as we've lived our lives, people that we admire, they have a thought or a belief, and we take that on. And sometimes it's an adaptive behavior. I needed to adapt in order to live within a situation. Then I grow. It's 20 years later, and I still have that adaptive behavior, but I don't need it anymore. Now it's not serving me. Now it's hurting me. And so really understanding those. What those patterns are and that programming is, that's the key. And I think, like, I love a good therapist. Like, I. I have. I go to therapy. Do you know I said my kid? Like, I love a good therapist. And it helps you to understand your situation, but it doesn't help you shift those patterns. Right? So I love someone that's come to me that has really understands. Like, if you really understand because you've done all the work and read all the books, but you still are like, why don't I change? That's the perf. Like, perfection. I would. I'm so excited.

Right the right. At the right moment, right spot.

Yes, yes.

So, okay, so in addition to the pattern work, I'm interested. What would be the. What would be your number one piece of advice for people on doing the thing?

Listen to yourself, listen in, ask yourself what the story is around why you think you can't, and then listen in to what the truth is.

And I'd love you to share how people can find out about you and your podcast, your book, your website, anything.

You'D like to share. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm everywhere, like, on Instagram and all that good stuff. Just Etsy Paik. I've recently started the Tickety Talk, although I don't know why I thought I could do it, but I am on the Tickety Talk. And then if you want to get on my text list, if you're in the US you can jump on my text list. And the number for that is 770-343-3409. And you can just text, hello, it's an automated thing and it'll message you back but you can message me on there. And so yeah, so I'll send those out a few times, a few times a week. So yeah, so that's how you can find me. My website's just betsypake.com and if you want to join the institute, there's a link for it there too.

Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, thanks so much for having me.

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