Carlos Cervantes: This Talent Acquisition Specialist Believes In Finding The Right Puzzle Pieces, Putting Yourself First, And Trusting Your Gut As You Do The Thing
28 Jun 2023 · 47 min
This is a podcast interview (host Stacey Lauren) with Carlos Cervantes, a talent acquisition specialist who recently left a 16+ year role, took parental leave after an early birth, and quickly accepted a new recruiting role focused on competitive, high‑visibility positions (including internships) at a large shipbuilding employer. The conversation centers on career transition, the value of disconnecting to gain clarity, prioritizing self-care and family, the cascading benefits of small choices (joining team lunches, using tuition reimbursement, joining a Vespa group), and Carlos’s hiring philosophy: treat people according to their needs (the “platinum rule”), evaluate soft skills and hard skills with open behavioral questions, trust your gut when taking risks, and seek long‑term culture fits rather than short‑term hires. The episode closes with his core advice: “Don’t forget about yourself.”
Chapters
I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.
Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.
Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is Stacy Lauren. I'm so glad you guys are here today. You guys are going to get to meet someone that I've known for a really long time. We used to work together at my old company and he was there 16 and a half years. And during that time, gosh, did we get to know each other really well in terms of I got to see how similar aligned we are in terms of wanting to help people and really give people the opportunity to be able to be their best self. And through that, it's his never ending quest for learning and coachability and then also passion for helping others that has just really kept us connected over the years. And then on top of that, he has a huge heart for volunteering and for helping people and has done a lot of things in terms of selfless acts with, well, to go out in the world and do things like that. So I wanted to bring him on to be able to talk about all these things. And then he also just left my old company and started a new job. And I know what that had to have taken as well, which to me is doing the thing. When you're at a job for a long time and then you decide to leave and you have to go through a certain process in order to do that. I know there's a lot of people that are stuck in jobs that they're done with and they want to move on. So anyway, so I'm so excited and I think the timing is perfect to bring on Carlos Cervantes to the show. Hey, Carlos.
Hi, Stacy. Thank you for such a good intro and I'd like to share that maybe it's because we both have one thing in common, that is we share a birthday. Maybe the cosmos were aligned on that day and that's why we're both very similar. But all jokes aside, I do agree with everything you've said and similarly, I've been privileged to witness somebody like you do the same thing and have a great mentor that promoted those feelings, that willingness to always want to help others at no gain to yourself. And, yeah, I'm excited in my new opportunity to see how that transcends and at the same time, kind of close that full circle of where I was before. And, yeah, I definitely. I did the thing, and before even doing the thing, I did another thing. And now I'm, like, seeing all these things I'm doing that now I'm not even doing them on purpose, I guess would be a funny way of relaying that. Yeah.
What do you mean by that?
So early April, me and my wife welcomed a new human to this world 20 days sooner than expected. So obviously, sometimes the thing happens whether you want it to happen or not. And we were prepared for late April. But all of a sudden, early April comes around, we're rushing to the hospital. Not to go on too much of a tangent, but she almost had her in the car. It was like nine minutes from when we pulled to the. To the curb to when our daughter was born. So I was out. I had made the decision that I was going to take my leave once my daughter was born. So I had to push that timeline up and I fully disconnected. I really wanted to enjoy this time. We're both parents and how intense those moments can be when you have a newborn. And I really wanted to be able to focus fully on that. So I wasn't necessarily job searching. I was just ready to disconnect, spend time with my baby, with my wife, with my other son. And very randomly and organically, this opportunity came about, and I just. I kind of just scratched at it to see what it was. And then eventually I came to that crossroads where, okay, now. Now I conscientiously am about to do a thing. And that was making the decision to move employers. And like you mentioned, being somewhere for 15 years, 16 years, 16 and a half, you. It was bittersweet. I definitely wanted to part ways in. In a positive manner. And to that note, even after leaving, I still facilitated a few things with some of my ex coworkers because I, you know, I didn't want to leave anybody in a bind. And it took me two to three minutes to help somebody figure something out that would have taken them a couple hours. Why not? But really making that decision that I had come full circle and that I didn't feel like I was on. On the right seat on the bus anymore, and I didn't really see any. Any other seats that I'd want to sit in that. And then just having the time to really to think. I think my previous position was so fast paced that I never really put it in neutral and sit there and try to think things through. So I had that on my side this time, which I was disconnected and I was able to really think about, well, what do I want to do? And I think the balance that I was searching all of a sudden just appeared and I decided to go for it. From the time I interviewed to the time I gave my resignation, I think it was about two and a half days. And I bring that up because I, in a way, gave up five more weeks of bonding with my, with my newborn to start a new opportunity. My leave short because they wanted somebody that could start right away. It's in talent acquisition. So I've always been passionate, like you said in your intro, about helping others. And in my previous role, I had the opportunity where I could see somebod, let's say, start an entry level job and work their way up, get promoted, get hired on and have a significant impact on their life, both professionally and personally. And it came to a point where it's like, okay, like why had I, why haven't I never really thought about it this way? I do this for a living. Right. Why don't I do this for myself? And it was one of those aha moments. And I was like, okay, like what is it that I'm looking for? Just as in any TA role, you're a matchmaker. And I'm a fond believer that you can't really force needs to be the right piece. And making puzzles and finding the right pieces for those puzzles is challenging. So there I am thinking to myself, okay, well, I'm a puzzle piece. What puzzle can I plug myself into? And I really wanted to be a part of something, something bigger. Right. In my previous role, it was mostly focused in Southern California. And the positions we were recruiting for, I would say were maybe jobs that people need, not necessarily that people want. And I say that with all respect. But now I'm in a role where I'm really out of my comfort zone and I'm starting to recruit for jobs that people want. And it's very competitive out there and it's awesome to see how I can use the skills that I've gained and a lot of it. I'll give kudos to you for always supporting and motivating me to signing up for, for different seminars, different programs that are for, in a sense, for professional development, but also kind of splashes into your, into your personal life. Yeah.
And there's so much in that, that I want to explore too. Like, one thing that you said that really sticking with me right now is how you were, you were able, through the time that you were able to take off to spend with your daughter, you were able to like get out of that storm in a way. So you settle down and that's when you're able to start thinking. And I think that happens to so many people when they're in the middle of the job or whatever it is that's going on. It's hard to really even see outside of it. But once you can actually disconnect, like you said, and be able to like settle your mind down, then you're like, wait a minute, this is what I'm doing for people. Why can't I do this for myself? I think that's so powerful.
Yeah. And I'll touch into it maybe. I'm sure it'll come up down the line. But I think also when you're looking at both your, your professional and your personal balance in your life, it's not forgetting about yourself. I, at first when I was thinking of that balance, I was always like, okay, well, like if I'm going to give my job 100% of it while I'm there, then I need to give a hundred percent to my family when I'm with my family. Right. And that was something that I struggled with. I would be physically there, but mentally, oh boy. I was in like a thousand other places and none of them, well, let's say the majority of them were places of conflict and challenge and things that I needed to resolve. And really it was just trying to balance those two. But when you look at family, you also got to look at yourself. As much as I enjoy, you know, going to the zoo with my son or going on a hike with my wife and the whole family, there's also things you need to do for yourself, really reminding yourself that your well being, also your mental well being, does need to have that little bit of alone time, I guess, personal time, whatever that is you enjoy doing in your personal time. I mean, we all agree there's a million, billion gazillion things out there that you can do to work on that. And I think it's just being consistent with it, just how you spend time with your kids regularly. You also want to spend time with yourself regularly. I mean, you spend enough time at work with your co workers. Why don't you give yourself some of that too?
Yeah, and I'm, I'm glad you brought it up because that's like One of the big things I'm really trying to do with this podcast is I'm coming from that high, high achiever mindset where, where you're there too in terms of it's so easy to get caught in that constant go, go, go. Right. And then forget about yourself. And so just really placing a high value on that well being for you. So then you're doing things. And that's kind of going back to that storm example that you gave. It's like when you settled yourself from the storm, not saying your other company was a storm, but in terms of just like going, going, going crazy, crazy. And then you settled in for a minute. Then you're able to like take that time to pause and, and really power in. So anyway, that's the biggest thing I'm really focusing on as you. My passion has been, even with the company when we were there together, is like really making sure you're able to do things for yourself and not just for everyone else. Because it's so easy to get stuck into that, into that trap.
Yeah. And that's to hitchhike off of that. It's also very easy once you get out of it to then start seeing all these things you didn't notice before. You know, things you can do that really the way I view it is change, which I just happen so to decide to make a big change in my professional life is going to generate new alignments. And what do you get with those new alignments? You know, just how I've had coworkers that I've been with for 10 years plus we have those relationships. I know certain things about them, about what, what they're like on a. Now I have the opportunity to develop that with these new people that I'm going to be interacting with. And it's been great. It's definitely, I think it was the perfect timing for me. I was joking with my wife that what else am I going to do this year? So far, 2022 has been pretty awesome. We have a new daughter, I got a new job. What's next? Am I going to buy a new car? But really just kind of keeping that momentum going, which isn't hard. Some of the little things that I started doing with these new alignments I was mentioning is, for example, my new team. Their dynamic is they always have lunch together. And I think partially it's because we have to close down our front lobby for that 30 minute hour period. So it's structured in a way for ulterior reasons, not specifically just the Camaraderie but the camaraderie does exist, right. And I had the option to participate in it or I had the option to say, you know what I'm saying? Which, you know me, this is not going to sound like me, but, you know, I'm more of a reserved, private person. I prefer to eat my lunch by myself outside or things like that. No, I'd rather be in the, in the mix with, with everybody. And that was something that, as previously, I would struggle with, like I had structure on when I ate what I ate, it was always last minute. It was always, oh, because I'm about, you know, I have a headache, it's because I haven't eaten or things like that. So now being almost like, I want to say force, that's the first thing that came to mind, given the opportunity, let's say. Amazing.
Yeah.
To have lunch with all these other people that I'm slowly starting to know. It's giving me something that I've always wanted, which is to have a consistent. At first it was like, all right, let me see if I can go a week with eating with these people that I don't know. Okay, so first weeks through, I'm like, all right, they're all cool. Like, I get along with all of them. And then second week is like, all right, I'm going to now try to eat with them and I'm going to try to bring my own food with me. So now it's 8 o' clock at night, I'm prepping my lunch for the next day and I'm already thinking like, oh my God, I'm going to, I'm ready to go eat this lunch tomorrow with these people to chat about whatever we're going to chat about. And I think that's definitely a small thing, but it's a thing I did because I had the option, right, just to say, okay, I'm going to participate in this, or I could respectfully opt out. Similarly, with these new alignments, my current employer actually reimburses you for tuition. And I like to listen what people have to say. And the orientation person mentioned this. He said for my first. He's been there, I think, more than 15 years. He said, my first few years, I knew this tuition reimbursement was there. I just never really cared to look into it to see what it was about. He's like, but once I did, I've been taking courses, getting certificates, not necessarily because I want promotions at work, but like I wanted to stop being poked at in my family get togethers. Because I'm not very handy. So I took a carpentry course and now I know some basic carpentry skills, so things like that. So like, like what do I want to do? And I have a Vespa, one of those old Italian scooters. And I kind of had, I had to dust it off, let's put it that way. I hadn't been giving it use. I'd just been sitting in my garage and I started trying to give it some use. And because of not using it for a while, I needed to have a mechanic look at it. Well, this mechanic is not cheap. So it just made me think it's like this is pretty basic stuff. Like I can learn these basic mechanical skills and then I can work on this on my own and save myself, you know, 800 bucks for not having to call this guy. And that's another thing that I want to do. I want to take advantage of this tuition reimbursement which is going to help me for either free or a small cost to me, learn these skills on how to be a basic mechanic on a scooter and then be able to fix my scooter when it breaks down so that I can use it as I want to use it. And on a, on a separate note, I, you know, that sent me down the, if we want to call it the do the thing rabbit hole.
It just like really resonated with what you just said.
That's. Yeah. So now on top of wanting to become a Vespa mechanic, I also joined through a social media platform, Vespa Group in San Diego, where they do rides, I think at least once a month and sometimes special occasions, I. Holidays and things like that. And there's all, like, there's all these people that I have a genuine connection with that I don't even know. But I know as soon as I meet them, we're going to knock it off because that's, that's just how it is. And now just that little thing that that one dude said in that orientation, send me down this rabbit hole wanting to be a mechanic, wanting to participate and bringing it back to what I was saying earlier to things that are meaningful to me, just me. Because if I'm happy, my family's happy, my kids are happy, my wife is happy. But what makes me happy, you know, being able to once a month go on this hour, two hour ride up the coast or whatever, up the mountains. I was looking at a few events that they do and it's great. This one thing I did is now Cascading across my life, both personally and professionally.
Yeah. And I love how like, each step led to the next step. So then it's not like you had this in your plan from the very beginning. It was just this idea that then sparked this interest, which then led to where you're going with it now, which I think is really. It's really powerful when you're able to do it in that way. I mean, it shows that you don't have to think everything out before you start it. Basically, you could just do the thing.
Yep, definitely. And. And once you do things, you know, doing more things becomes easier to the point where you're just doing things every day and you even realize.
And I liked how you, you frames the lunch too, is where you said, let me see if I can just go for a week. So you didn't like, set up some crazy intention of like, okay. So it almost makes your decision process easier because you're not future tripping on what that means. It's like, okay, let me try it out for a week and see if I like it. And then nothing's lost. If you don't like it, you're just eating by yourself, basically.
And I'm so happy that I did because I wouldn't have cared about this, like, Johnny Depp trial. But that's all everybody would talk about for a week during lunch. And then I started getting into it and the more I. The more I heard, the more I wanted to know.
That's funny.
And things like that, things that I wouldn't have personally dove into. But now I'm finding an interest and I think it develops that camaraderie where it even made me think, like, what is the last like, like case I remember that went like that had this so much media hype, you know, and I'm a child of the 80s, so the first thing that came to mind to me was the O.J. simpson trial, where I'm just all this focus, this one thing, and it does capture so much attention. But anyway, not to go on too much of a tangent, but no, I definitely, I. The purpose that I see in my role, it's almost like I leveled up. And I don't mean any disrespect to my previous employer. It's just a reach. And I think the reach they had was definitely big, but now part of something massive, I guess is a better way of phrasing it. And I work for a company that builds ships for the Navy. I'm a proud American. I'm a proud San Diegan. There's so many things that they do. You know, they're one of the biggest employers in the part of the city that they're in. So there's all these things that the company, if I were to zoom all the way out, you know, I could say, oh, well, I'm part of our, you know, I contribute to our, the defense of our nation. And my son, it was really interesting. So within my first week, he kept on, on thinking that I built ships. And I'm like, no, dude, I don't build ships. I find the people that design manufacture, like I don't build the ship. But anyway, he wanted to go down to the sh yard and see the ships. So one day my co worker gave me this. It's like a prop, like swag. It's a model of a ship made out of foam, almost like those stress balls, but it's in the shape of a ship, one of the ships we build. And I gave it to him. He was playing with it, taking a bath and whatnot. And then the next morning my wife's like, well, why don't we bring you to work so he can see the ships? And I'm like, you know, you can't go in. Like, you can just see him. And I was like, you know, the ships are big enough that you can see him like four blocks away, so I'm sure he'll get to see the ship. So they dropped me off. He wouldn't stop blabbing about the ships on the way to daycare. And then when he got out, he ran into. Because I think it's all boys in his daycare at the moment, ran up to all the boys and was like, look, my dad, he builds these ships, you know, and my wife's telling me the story and I'm getting all teary eyed because he was so proud that he was bragging about what I do to his friends. So if he's that proud, then I'm instantly even prouder. And having that, that externality that, that before I was helping people that generate a paycheck every week and then seeing them grow and get a raise and get hired and things like that was very impactful. Well, now similarly, I'm doing the same thing where if I hire, because my focus is going to be mostly on internships, which I think is great for me because that whole promoting from within, I'm going to go and promote what we do to interns for engineering, supply chain, it, finance, all these roles that you would never think have the impact they have. When building a ship, think, oh, well, they need welders and they need machinists. Well, no, there is so much more team that you need to take a couple billion dollars from the Navy. And yeah, just being able to know that I am a cog and that machine makes me very proud and makes me want to go out there and really sell our brand to this next generation of members that are going to be joining the workforce. And how do I attract the best talent, but at the same time making sure that I'm not forcing them. This is what it is. And finding those right puzzle pieces, if you don't understand the puzzle, then, and you don't have the trust of your hiring team, then you're never going to accomplish it. And what are the components that make this the right puzzle piece? Because it's not just meeting the criteria on the resume and having the RECs certificates, whatever it is that you need. It's also, is it a. Is it a culture fit? You know, And I think that's a big thing that I want to focus on is making sure that they. I don't want to hire somebody that's going to leave within their first year. I want to hire somebody that's going to want to be there for a while and that is going to want to develop themselves with us.
Oh, definitely. I know that's one of the biggest things I just really have always admired about you is that value you have for contribution and being able to make an impact in other people in that way. I was wondering too, because, like, I'm just thinking about you, even with the other company and then hearing you talk about this new one. Like, I know with the other, with the one that you were at before you were managing, which you were probably managing at least 20 people by the time I left. I don't know if it ended up being more. But underneath you, and then you had like probably 400 external employees that you were in charge. In charge of, in that way, of the overall management, is that. That was about right? Right?
Yeah, I think I was over, I want to say more than 30, all across all branches, all roles. And it's funny you bring that up because that was something that was in my notes I was reviewing earlier, that that was probably the one thing that pushed me to make that. That career move, leaving operations to focus on, I guess, how should I phrase it? Like, like a role of individual contribution before I was held accountable for. I'll start with the wins and the celebrations of everybody's successes. But at the same time, Also had to deal with all the disciplinary issues and the corrective actions and all of that. That comes with poor performance, not meeting expectations. And it was a lot. It was definitely a lot. And I looked at, okay, like, how did I get to this point in my career, right? And then I look at, I was not to share too much of my personal life, but I was a teen dad, which, and I think being a dad at the age of 18 kind of really made me decide if I wanted to put that hat of responsibility on or not. And I chose to put it on. And that's why very early on in my career, I started taking on these roles where I had a big sense of responsibility, not just for myself, but for other people on my team. Because I almost viewed them as like my kids, you know, in a way. And I'm sure you could relate to some of those and then watching your kids grow and things like that. And now a lot of time passed since my, my son that I had when I was a teenager was little. So as he grew up, I was able to commit to more and more and more things professionally that, that kind of landed me in that role of overseeing 30 some. 30 some people, right? So after having, you know, recently a three year old and now a newborn, that's what kind of back to what I was saying about the right seat on the bus. It's like, I don't know if this is the best seat for me now because there's things that have changed in my personal life that now affect how I can fulfill this role. And if I'm committed to something I want to deliver, right. I'm not going to half it. You're going to get the 100%. So can I really commit to 100% of this? And when I started seeing myself struggle and making mistakes, falling behind on deadlines, things like that, it's really challenging when you feel like you, you're giving it your all, but at the end you're not getting the results you were striving for. And now I feel like 30 some tons of weight were lifted off my back and now I'm just focusing on myself and I know what I can do as a recruiter, as a matchmaker. I was talking to one of my co workers and I was like, matchmaking, it's like dating, except right now we're not selling dates, we're selling employment. Right? So you have to understand that some first dates are going to end up in these long relationships of marriage or partnership or whatever it ends up being. And some of these are going to end up in disaster within the first hour. And it's really not like learning, never forgetting what you're learning as you're going. Because those are going to be the experiences that you can reference the next time you encounter that crossroads of okay, do I give this person an opportunity? What am I basing my criteria on? Because I think if, if you don't define both the culture and the process of what you're, of what you're looking to do, then you have a lot of risk that's going to come with that. You know, you're going to possibly hire and onboard the wrong people or create extra work, extra headache for other people because you didn't screen somebody correctly kind of thing.
Oh, totally. Yeah. I was also kind of wondering because you, you've been responsible for helping so many people do the thing between all people that you've placed and you've, like you said, moved into different positions and gotten hired on. And there's just so much in that. And I was just wondering if you've noticed any common traits with them, the ones that really were successful at what they did.
I would say their, their personality, their. How do you rank somebody's drive? And I think it's asking very open ended behavioral questions like I read your resume, I don't need you to come in here and tell me what your resume says. I need you to come in here and tell me. You know, there's an article I was reading about your soft skills and your hard skills, which I think we both agree that you can train on skills, you can't train on attitude. So if they don't have the right attitude, then don't even go there. But you're just going to bring somebody that now you're risking, let's say a well balanced work environment. Like what happens when you bring in somebody that shows signs of toxicity, badmouth their previous employer in their interview, or that reasons for leaving a position are red flags to you. You don't want to bring that into a team that's well balanced and create that conflict that currently doesn't exist. Or similarly, if you have one person that may be showing signs of that, what happens if you give them an ally and you bring somebody else like that and then now you've just made it twice, if not more worse than that. I think really looking at the soft skills for what they are and the hard skills for what they are, soft skills would be like, well, well, well, I'm a good communicator, I'm a Good multitasker. Like those kinds of skills. More of the hard skills would be like, okay, well I, I am. This level of proficiency with, with XYZ systems. I speak multiple languages. I like more of those, I guess I don't know if that makes sense. Between the soft and the hard skills.
Yeah, yeah.
But really knowing what they're each worth and knowing that you need to look at both of them. You can't just look at one or you can't have that bias where okay, well, this person went to the same school I went to. They majored in the same thing I majored. They also worked fast food, that I worked fast food back in the day. They're going to be perfect. Just like I'm perfect for this role. No, like that doesn't, that might not translate that way. So I would say it's really digging into those candidates with those open ended behavioral questions and focusing both on their soft skills and their hard skills. What's the term they were using? It was almost, it's like fraud resumes. People that, that make these resumes that if you were to give it to one of their co workers and you're like, hey, look at the bottom of this resume. Look at the name of the person. You know this person. This is your right. Yeah, it is. Okay. Look at the bottom the skills they listed that they have. Check off the ones that, that you would actually confirm are accurate. You know, I'd be very surprised what results you would get. Some people might think they have all these skills and when you give it to their coworker, they would be like, no, they don't. They don't have any of these skills. And how do you verify that? It's by asking those questions that then they can't give you a. I'm trying not to use the word I'm thinking of. They can't.
You can use it. It's okay.
They can't bs, you know, they can't.
BS their way through.
They can't. Yeah, they can't. Like you're putting them on the spot and you know, based on their answer a, if they really understood your question. Because if they did it, then right off the bat you're like, okay, this, this person's not for me. And if they did, what context, what substance that they give you within their answer.
Yeah. And then what do you think? What if you, you've also, you've. I mean, I know you've. Gosh, you've motivated, I don't even know, thousands of people probably to continue to Give good performance and helped families. And I think we had this joke at your 10 year anniversary. I mean it wasn't really a joke because it was truly what you believed in. But the. I don't remember the shoes poster, what was that?
The thanks to Carlos, all these kids have shoes and things like that.
Yeah. And it was true. It was definitely something that I know always motivated you. But what do you think really stood like show stood out for you in terms of the ones that did really well versus the ones that didn't? Was there anything besides attitude or in addition to. I love attitude. I think that's really good. And then soft skills versus hard skills and really identifying the soft skills. But is there anything else that stood out for you between the ones that really killed it?
I mean, I guess maybe past failures, people that whatever reason they viewed it as a failure in their past, whether it was, it could be a variety of issues, you know, failed relationships, failed employment, issues with the law, people that really were looking for, for somebody to give them a chance. And that's kind of how I feel like my current leader, because I don't like calling her my boss, even though I hear everybody call her boss. She took a chance on me and now what do I want to do? Maybe it's, it's identifying that the people that, that your gut tells you, okay, like they want a chance. They're aware that I'm the person that's facilitating the chance and they're going to make me proud. They want to make me proud. And I think, how do you identify somebody's commitment? Part of it is you go with your gut and if this person's giving you that vibe that you should give them a chance, then maybe take the risk on it because there is risk in that and giving people chances. But back to what I was saying, as you learn and as you identify some red flags, okay, maybe next time I won't, you know, I'm going to tell my gut, hey, remember the last time we rolled the dice on this one? It didn't work out. Maybe let's not roll the dice on this one this time.
Yeah, for sure. And then what do you think is the hardest thing for people in regards to doing the thing? Or what do you think has been the hardest thing for you when it comes to doing the thing?
I think for me it was just not realizing that doing the thing is something I needed to do. Like nobody was going to do the thing for me as much as people would tell me, oh well, if you're unhappy, find A new job or find a new this or do that. It was really me having that self acknowledgement of, okay, nobody's going to do a thing for me. What is the thing that I want to do? And when you're going at whatever's pushing you to go at such a fast pace, you almost kind of like fly by the things that maybe you do want to do. There's things everybody can do. Right. And if you don't know, what are these things that let's say you're perfectly content in your life. We both agree that there are things you can do to make your life more fulfilling. Not that you're not unhappy at the moment, but what'll give you. I guess I always feel like there's things out there that can give you an even greater fulfillment. And sometimes you don't even know what those things are like. I never wanted to be a mechanic, but here I am thinking, okay, maybe learning this new skill is going to give my life some sort of fulfillment.
I just think that's, that's. I'm really glad that you shared that story too with the mechanic story because it just shows how it's something that you never even considered. And then all of a sudden they're telling you about the free reimbursement and then that leads to now maybe you'd be doing vacations with Vespa owners, you know?
Right. It's like a double whammy. Like, okay, somebody's going to pay me to go to school for this so that then once I have that skill, I don't have to spend money on paying somebody that has that skill.
Yeah, that's so cool. I love it. And so what do you think? So the other thing I'm thinking, and you mentioned it earlier, is all the trainings you've done because you've been like the star student in like every training. And I know we used to joke you about how much we loved you going to the training because then everyone would like pretty much by you going to any kind of training or learning anything from a coach, it would ripple down to everyone in the business, you know, which is why you were the one that we would, we would have go first, honestly. One for you, obviously, and then the other because it was a ripple that we all felt. But I'm thinking about all of them right now and it's like Six Sigma, Fred Prior, that new one, what was that new one that year one that you just did?
Oh, Crestcom, Crescom. Which kudos to Crestcom because they are amazing. And I think I don't want to pay favoritisms. But I definitely, I highly enjoyed participating in that year long one because back to what we were saying, it was a commitment. Like I signed up for this and whenever I decided to sign up for it, what I was reading looked really, really attractive. So now it's the Tuesday of the day I'm supposed to go to this meeting and the world's burning and I don't want to go because I'm too worried. No, tough luck. You signed up for it, you commit it, you're going. And I think that's probably, I don't know what motivates me to keep it consistent. I don't know if that's just how internally I'm wired. But yeah, I mean, I feel like, I mean, you know the saying, you learn something new every day. Well, what if you level that up and you say, well, you learn a hundred new things every day and I'm, you know, using exaggerating. But it doesn't have to just be one, you know, it could be multiple things. And my biggest, I guess, my tactic or my strategy when going to these. I remember little green Carlos going to his first seminar thinking he was going to change the world after it. And I took pages and pages of notes. Now I go to a seminar or a professional development training session, anything along those lines, I'm looking to come out of there with one or two things tops that I can, A, instantly start applying and B, have some way of measuring the impact that it's having, whatever aspect of my life I'm trying to apply that to. And then I just view it as, I guess, my duty of just paying it forward. Somebody took the time to teach me this. And whether it was a free teaching or a teaching that I or my employer or somebody had to pay for, right. Either way, that doesn't matter. It's okay. I learned something new. Like I feel like it's my duty. I feel like it's like paying it forward. Why do I want it? Like, why should I want to keep this knowledge just to myself? And even if I'm able to share something that I learned in one of these seminars, in one of those random scenarios you encounter in your daily life, maybe not even professionally, maybe you're at the train station about to hop on a train and you're all of a sudden part of a conversation and the topic is something where you actually have some insight on, share it, why keep it to yourself? And then somebody else just learned something new from you. Today I Guess maybe that's part of it. That definitely motivates me. When I can visualize and really see that I had that impact on someone, it makes me want to do it again and again and again.
What do you think would be if you had two top things that you learned from those that you are implementing, whether it be in personal or in business, what do you think those would be from all the training and stuff? Because I have another question after this.
So I guess I'll. I'll ask you a question. This is one of my favorite questions to start asking. When you're interviewing a candidate that maybe you had cold called, that you didn't really. That you. You hadn't really. This is the first time you're. You're talking to them, you're kind of wanting to break the ice. I would always ask, well, how would you divide five pieces of cake amongst eight people? And my least favorite answer was like, oh, well, I just divide it up equally and share it amongst everybody. Okay, That's a very democratic way of solving this. And back to your question is the number one, I think, is the platinum rule. We all know the golden rule, treat others how they want to be treated. So I think the mindset of, well, share it equally amongst everybody goes the platinum route. My answer to that question would be, well, I would take a moment to ask those eight people, does everybody like cake? Okay, six people raised their hands. Great. Why am I going to waste cake on those two people that don't want cake? So now I'm going to divide those five pieces of cake among, say, six people, and they're all going to get a little bigger of a share of that cake. So I think it's really that platinum rule of treating others how they want to be treated, not how you want to be treated. Because we're both. Even though we're very alike in a lot of things, we're also very different. Let's say I want to give you gifts. It's funny, because me and my wife are not big gifters, because we'd rather say, okay, we're going to spend whatever money we were going to use for this gift on an experience, an experience that I know you're gonna enjoy. So why am I gonna buy you a white shirt? Because my favorite color is white, and I would love a white shirt. When you're like, oh, my God, I hate white. Like, every time I wear white, I get it stained, I get dirty. I prefer a dark blue. So I think it's that. I think it's treating Others how they wanna be treated, because then that puts you in tune with communication, with developing authentic relationships. How do you get to. How do you know how they want to be treated? Well, you need to get to know them. It's not like everybody's an open book that gives you that answer right off the bat. Some people do, but I would say the majority of the cases, there is a little bit of legwork that has to be put in to get to know that person so that then how they want to be treated.
Oh, totally. Yeah. No, I really like that.
Yeah. And I would say the other one is just perceptions. You know, perceptions are people's realities and I guess more along the lines of once you realize what somebody's perception is, if their perception isn't your perception, then how can I try to influence that perception so that we, you know, we find a middle, common ground, you know, so that it could possibly be a win win for both of us. I never want to go in or out of a situation where it ends up not being a win win, because then that point, it was just a waste of time.
Yeah, Very cool. Okay, so, Carlos, you've got one piece of advice to give to the listeners on doing the thing. What would it be?
Don't forget about yourself.
Oh, man, I'm so glad you said that.
And I didn't even have to think about it twice. Don't forget about yourself. Because that's what happened to me. I forgot about myself. I was too busy with my career and my family. Right. Like that. The last person I would think about was myself. And, you know, it took me to have that. That time of clear thought of, you know, being able to just sit outside in the sun and just think, you know, and, you know, if you don't even know what the thing you need to do is, and I would say that's the thing you need to do. Go sit somewhere without your phone, without your headphones, listen, you know, to the universe, talk to you, listen to the birds chirp, listen to the ocean, listen to the waves, listen to your neighbor's annoying dog, listen to whatever's out there, and then focus on yourself and what is the thing that you need to do, you know? And for me, it kind of became very clear that the thing I needed to do was figure out how I was going to be able to prioritize my family and then, you know, just trickle down. It's okay. Well, the job I'm at right now, it's very challenging for me to have that balance. And that balance was Worth enough for me to. I was willing to take a pay cut. I was willing to give up, you know, five free weeks of bonding time to start this new opportunity because I really saw that it was gonna. It was gonna change me. And it has. You know, I feel. I don't want to say I feel like a different person, but I feel like. I feel more like myself, I guess, the old self that I. That I had been missing, you know?
Yeah. That is so great. I love it when, like. Because you just. Everyone's got a different, you know, meaning of success, too. And it's like by being able to. Now you're able to do it all, you know, that's. That's what's important to you. And I think that's really great when you can stand by that.
Definitely.
Is there anything I didn't ask you that you wish I asked you?
No, not really. I feel like it was more of a, you know, a very. It was just a conversation. It wasn't. I don't feel like it was an interview.
I know. I didn't even ask you, like, my normal, like, tell me your story, you know, thing. We missed the. We missed the before. Before the company thing because you started off as like a. Like, I remember the. Your first day still, which is funny because it was what, 16 and a half years ago, I guess, if we're thinking about it. And there was some kind of conflict that was happening and someone was upset. Normally someone that's brand new doesn't know how to deal with. They just kind of like, walk away from the situation and, like, ask for help. But you were, like, able to handle it. So I remember just from your. The first day you started, you were already doing the thing.
Yeah. And honestly, it just circles back, you know, to. To wanting to help people. It's like, okay, there's this person that's here, very frustrated. I need to understand why they're frustrated. And I'm not going to be able to figure that out by me being on one side of the counter and then being on the other. So, you know, let me pull them aside, diffuse that. That tension. Because whatever lobby you're in, even if it's not you being the disgruntled person, if you're part of that, you feel that. That awkwardness. So let me remove this from my. From the environment that my co workers are in so that they don't feel the discomfort. And at the same time, that person's not. Now they don't feel like they're. Whether it was consciously or Subconsciously, they're feeling like they're being watched by others. So if you bring them outside, if you pull them aside, then it's just a one on one, you know, human to human. I'm just another person and I want to talk to you and I want to understand what you're going through and creating that personal, comforting environment where then they're actually going to open up, they're going to stop yelling at you, and they're going to stop telling you everything that's wrong and start focusing on what can you do to try to help them, to try to help them resolve whatever issue they have at hand. And I think one of the things you would always say was never mess with people's money. If it was something somebody that was disgruntled, like, let's say, about a paycheck issue, be understanding because you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. And that's one thing that I always, I always try to do is I don't know what's going on behind the scenes with this person. And if I can get them to leave here satisfied, not necessarily with a smile on their face, but at least satisfied that they were listened to and that somebody's doing something to help them with their problem, then that's. That's what I was striving to do.
Definitely. Yeah. And you were good at it. I would actually say you're exceptional at it, for sure. Well, cool. Well, this has been fun getting to talk to you and yeah, it's funny when you're. I mean, I feel like we talked every day and then it's just so funny when how things work. It's like, it's nice that we've been able to stay in touch through all of it. So I've really appreciated and valued our friendship and yeah, I'm just grateful and I'm excited for you. I'm excited for the new, the new opportunity that you have. It sounds amazing and it sounds like they're really lucky to have you.
Yeah, I feel like we're both lucky. They're lucky to have me and I'm lucky to have them.
That's true. That's true.
Well.
Oh, sorry. I have one more thing as I'm talking to you because I know, I do know a lot of people that are like, in that situation where they just don't want to leave. And a lot, I think a lot of teachers lately have been listening to this podcast, so I've been hearing a lot of stuff from them and just different People that are kind of like, stuck in a job and that they haven't wanted to leave and they're just scared. What would you say to them to be able to make the move in terms of when they find something new or whether they don't?
I would say there's a phrase in Spanish, go something along the lines of no tendas te mora ser feliz, which translates into don't have a fear of being happy or of happiness. So I would say that. I would say happiness. I mean, happiness is free, right? And you can go find your own happiness. And if you're not happy, if you're currently not happy where you're at, then take the time to go sit outside, to go take a moment for yourself to figure out, okay, well, what thing is it? Because it might not necessarily be leaving your current position. It could be maybe trying to find a new position within the organization you're in or finding a new position. I mean, I don't know. I guess that's just. It's going to be specific to each person. But, yeah, I think when you know something's wrong, right? Like, you know, if something's wrong, you know, if you're not happy, and it's just easier to stay in that comfort zone than it is to push yourself to get out of it. And I think I was fortunate enough that my personal. What I was looking to be able to provide to my personal life wasn't going to happen where I was at. So that really pushed me to do that thing, do that thing, which in my case was seeking new employment. That still gives me that sense of fulfillment. So if you definitely feel like that's not where you're at right now, have fun, go out there and try to find a thing you can do that will push you in that direction of happiness.
Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I appreciate it, Carlos.
Yeah, no, thank you for having me. It was. It was fun chatting and sharing what my. My take and my mindset is on things. And even if it's one person out there that finds value in it, then. Then it was worth it for me.
Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the thing. Callcast co or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.
More from Stacey
Stand Up. Speak Up. Show Up. How Deborah Drummond Built a 1,200-Woman Global Media Movement
From Notes App to Published Author: Avery Brenna Crumrine on Turning Intention Into Action
Why Not Me? Geetha Sreedhar on Startup Exits, Bold Pivots, and Living a Life of Impact
The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 3 - Episode 9 with Stacey Lauren, Podcast Host and Community Builder, Do The Thing
Emotional Resilience in Business: Insights from Stacey Lauren on Living a Purposeful Life