Cindy Larson: Discover The Joy Of Healing, Growth, And New Love On Her Do The Thing Journey

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Oh, my gosh, you guys, I am so excited. We have another do the Thing Challenge participant with us today, and it's so cool because she's been with me from the very first do the Thing challenge, and she was actually a huge contributor in that challenge because she's someone that I talked to from the very beginning about what she was hoping to get out of it and just her journey in her life. And so I think a lot of her conversations from the very beginning have helped spurn do the Thing to what it is now. And so it's so exciting to get an opportunity to talk to her about her experience with all the different challenges and getting to hear more about how she has taken on the challenges and how they've helped her and then also ways that maybe we can improve them, too. So I am so excited to welcome Cindy Larson to the show. Hi, Cindy.

Hey, Stacy. How are you?

I am good. I'm so happy to have you here. I just love having you in the group, and it's just amazing to constantly see you involved and engaged in the community.

Well, thank you very much, and thank you for seeing some good in whatever thoughts I spew out.

Well, yeah, because the very first challenge, it's fun because we only had 100 people on that challenge. It was great. We got to really connect, I think, on the zooms more. And we had. I think it was every day for the first two weeks.

For the first challenge, we did a zoom.

And so I think that was one of the things that was really cool was having that opportunity to connect in a more personal way.

And that's a really good thing that you've had throughout all the challenges is it's a very comfortable, safe, open, inquisitive, supportive community. And it is active. So you do get the give and take within the group and whatever the topic is and the motivation that people provide outside of your dares, they're comfortable to Initiate a new conversation.

And that idea of how everything people are sharing, it gets you to elevate even more into what you want to do too, so.

Right.

Well, I'd love to hear about why you decided to join the challenge in the first place.

Well, I've been single by my choice, by leaving a long term, very unhealthy, abusive marriage where I didn't want to date and I didn't want a relationship because I just wanted to be safe and peaceful and live a harmonious life. And then a truly wonderful man stepped in and when he saw me at an event, he heard, there's your person, go get her or poof, she'll be gone. And he very gentlemanly and respectfully heard my no, no, no dating, no relationship friends. I do friends really well and I've got to figure out why this long term relationship failed. Well, it took him about three months of coming back at me and coming back and I finally said yes and we ended up getting married. It took him two and a half years to convince me to walk down that aisle again. And then he died five months later. I didn't want to be single again. I was fine being single the first time, but my life was fabulous with my wonderful husband. So how do I stop my temper tantrum of I don't want to be here, I don't want to be single. I didn't ask for this, this is not where I want to be? To change that mindset to you're still peaceful, you're still harmonious, you will find love again. And I had to have some accountability and a kick in the pants to say, go do this.

I'm so glad this came up because I just posted that bonus dare in the group right now for what's stopping you from getting the relationship you want. And I don't know if you've seen the responses yet, but a lot of people are saying that they're wanting to heal more before they get love again and they're really wanting to work on themselves. And so I think it's really interesting that before you met your husband, the one where you saw a whole new way to be loved.

Right.

And you wouldn't trade that experience for anything when it got you to see truly how much you can get out of life is it sounds like you were there before you met him where you were like, no, I'm not. I want to figure out what went wrong with my first relationship. I was just curious what you would say to those people because it's almost like if you would have said no to him, you would have missed that whole opportunity to see this new way of being loved.

Right. Well, and I'm so glad that you asked because I was like, oh, oh, I thought the same thing is I'm not ready. I had told Mitchell, I don't know what love is. I don't know what love is between a man and a woman. I do not know how to be loved as a woman or to love a man. Because this long term marriage failed. I did not quit. I left to save my life. I can't even count how many therapists we try. I tried, he went, I went. We went together to save it. And it wasn't salvageable. And the more I've studied and like, I need to figure out why it didn't work. So. And when I told Mitchell that I didn't know what love is, and I didn't know how to be loved or love someone at this point because whatever I'd done before didn't work right in that 33 years with somebody, it didn't work. And he said, oh, no, you are the most loving woman I've ever met. And here I thought that I'm emotionally bankrupt, that I have nothing to give. And he saw something. And he had never been married. I was 54, he was 57, and he was never going to get married. Even our love song. He said, everything in this song is how I feel about you except the marriage part. And when I heard it, we heard it at the same time. He asked if I was listening to the words. And I was. And my thoughts was, I want a man to feel like this about me. And it's like he read my mind. Because as soon as that sentence stopped in my head, he said, this is how I feel about you. And I was totally fine not being married again. As long as I've got that somebody to build my life with, I'm fine. I don't need that piece of paper. So he helped me heal. He questioned why I did things. I've had large breed dogs for most of my adult life. And I joked that, well, with three kids and a husband, I need two giant breed dogs to re energize me like the energizer bunny. If I'm giving all of this, where do I get the love back? And it was my big dogs. When I met him, he was a retired breeder, a Bouvier de Flandre, which are big black dogs. And I had a big black dog. I had a new Femlin. And he would call my Dog, a follow hound. Because wherever he went, wherever I went, my dog followed me. And he said, why is he a follow hound? Told him about re energizing me. But my dog had also saved my life from my ex husband. And he also, I would say, saved my life because when I finally let Mitchell come and see where I lived and picked me up, my big 150 pound hunter at the time, probably I was having him lose weight, said, whoa, one move, that's it. And Mitchell said, hello, big man with his wonderful sexy voice. He came in and he sat down and now the men are looking eye to eye. And again Reggie gives him one more and he laid down at his feet. He has never done that before nor since with any man. And it's like he just knew that this man was okay for me. So he gave, you know, I feel like Reggie gave him his blessing to be there in our home, in my sanctuary and to be with me and knew that I would be safe with him. So you don't have to be healed to start a new relationship. That was a big big lesson. If somebody is emotionally aware, emotionally available, emotionally mature and a good communicator that uses your knowledge and your vulnerabilities to help you and not hurt you, that's a big contrast from my first marriage to my wonderful marriage. You've got to have that person who is safe that really wants to walk that path with you.

I think this is beautiful because he really gave you this opportunity to heal through this relationship. And I just think that there's so much power and just you being able to open yourself up when you weren't going to open yourself up. And I was just wondering what you would say to maybe someone in the group that is one of those people. There's at least 10 people today that was what they posted was I'm waiting, I need to still heal. What you would say to them.

Listen to your gut, pay attention to your internal vibration as to when you are, when you feel safe, when you feel the joy, when you feel the love, the awe of a plant, the flowers, the friendship, the laughter, the joke. Pay attention to how your body feels. And pay attention. Then when you are with the other people in your life, do you get that same feeling or I would call it like a static and a very sharp and prickly feeling that bad nervous butterflies. And pay attention to that. The other thing that I got from one of the many counselors is a list of the 12 intimacies I have 1 through 11 with every one of my friends and all of my friends, I have that peace. Mitchell was one of the few men that I felt that peace with. I didn't feel like he was objectifying me, that it was a sexual thing that he was after. There was something about his energy that said he wanted to get to know me that was totally different than any man I've ever met before. So this recalibration 1 through 11, number 12 is erotic orgasmic intimacy. So it doesn't matter, you know, whatever you want, polyamorous, whatever. For me, I have one person that I want that with. So in my long term bad marriage, I had zero. I went through 11 with every friend, and with Mitchell, my wonderful husband, I had all 12. It's a respect of the individual and of your heart, and I'm sure I've pasted it in somewhere because it's the best recalibration tool that I have. Coming out of an abusive relationship and having lived so many lies, it's hard to find the truth again. I gave up so much of me thinking that that man that I should be depending upon and we should be a teammate with, I'm like, his values and all are so off from mine, and I lost my touchstone of my values and what's important to me, and I gave him up because he's my husband. So always be true to yourself. Have something that you can use as that touchstone for who you really are, and just know that walking away, leaving is saving your life, and it's an open door to something even better coming along to never settle. It's really trusting yourself.

Yeah. And that is do the thing. It was funny in the beginning, I never thought it was gonna be leaving something, but as I was going through it, I realized it is doing the thing is leaving a bad marriage, a bad job, a bad situation. And so it's. It's going after something, but it's also stepping away from something. So I like that you were able to bring that up, and then you now have seen the other side to relationship. And so I'm curious, then, when you joined the first challenge, what made you decide to get started with the do the thing challenge?

I think it's the not being alone, because I was alone in that first marriage, raising the kids. I did it all. And here I am, a widow, alone in the house again, so. And most of my friends are not single, so nobody else is doing this thing with me trying to date or another. If they are dating, they're using the apps, and I don't have time to do the apps. I like to continue a path of success. And I met Mitchell face to face. I think it's an energy thing for me where I can feel their truth. Are they being honest and authentic to who they are or do they have a mask on? I had a conversation with a male friend and we were talking about Mitchell and how passionate and what a courtship we had for our time together. And curious would it have continued? And I think it would have. It was so important for us to connect and to always. We never took each other for granted. Never. We celebrated each other in love every day. Every day would be Valentine's Day. So if my words are not heard by somebody I'm on a date with, I'm done. I had one date who said, tell me if I do something that doesn't sit right with you that you don't like. So I tell him and he totally denied and justified his behavior. Well, goodbye. Did you not just say this? You know, you said this to me at the beginning. We had like a three day date because he lived a distance away and came down into my neck of the woods. That. That's a hard stop for me if you do not hear how your behavior affected me and he had opened the door for it. I. At this point in my life, I'm not going to teach you how to relate to another person. I'm just done. This is how I feel when you did this. I just won't tolerate it.

Yeah. And I think it's amazing to know what it looks like, right. To be able to share your feelings and to have someone there listening so you have a picture in your mind of what you want. And so now it's a little bit easier for you to tell when someone doesn't meet that need.

If I was to label it, it's emotionally mature and emotionally available. They're willing to be vulnerable. I'm willing to be vulnerable. And I know it's hard for a man because societal pressures to be the strong one and whatever, but in a couple, you help each other be stronger and better and the best that you can be. Yeah.

And so when you join the do the thing challenges, it started with you not wanting to be alone so that it gave you the my people part of the do the thing formula where you're getting that community and the connectedness with all people that are doing the same thing as you and that want the same thing. And so what do you think? You. And we could kind of just think about all three challenges now since we're almost done with the find your Voice challenge. What do you think you got out of just being in part of the experience of the different challenges and how it's helped you grow as a person?

I think that the acceptance of who I am and the passion of which I live life, who I am, is okay in every sense of the word. And I get it that I'm different, but we are all different. I think it gave me a sounding board of other people who are going through the same situation to give a debriefing from a date or whatever or what else might be done. But it's that sounding board of somebody who's been in similar situations with you with a date and say, I relate it to being in sales and debriefing after a sales call. What went right, what went wrong? And learning more about yourself as well as the characteristics or values of the person that you dated. And there. I don't know. I hate to say it, but I think there's a game to dating. What are the right questions to ask on a first date? How do you get to know somebody where it doesn't feel like it's an interview, but it's just a conversation? And how much time do you give to them? Right. To get. To actually get to know them? Yeah.

Just knowing how to get past the superficial layer of who someone's presenting themselves to be and to get to the more kind of real nut. Nut of who. Who they are. Pretty much.

Right. Yeah. What do they want out of something? How do you say it? Succinctly and by hearing what other people are looking for. Yeah. I want to build a life with somebody. If it doesn't. I have said to the men, if it doesn't work out, I'm good being friends. I've talked with other male friends, and I'm like, some men will take that and be fine with it, and others, they just wanted that romantic relationship, and they can't handle being friends after the rejection, which is fine. I will not chase anybody. If you don't want me in your life, that's just fine. And I respect that decision. Mm.

And what was your favorite part about the group with different dares that we did? Or was there anything that really stands out to you as something that was like, oh, man, that was the coolest thing.

I liked in the very first one. The different ways of doing something. So I don't have a dog anymore. So the rule that I put around the dog park, I've gone with my friends walking the dog, but I wouldn't never go alone. I hadn't thought about going alone to a dog park because if I had a reason to go, that wasn't just dating, that was not outside my comfort zone, but it was an idea that I would never have come up with on my own. I think, what do I like to do? I like to travel and play pickleball and go to the gym and do yoga and walk and hike. And so if I, you know, and dance and have good food. And so if I go to those places, then somebody who has similar interests, I will find. Right. And so, yeah, I would love somebody else to have a dog, but I would never have thought about going to a dog park. And my grief is complicated. Grief. Having lost six major, very important people in four years, and I've had to do another mind switch of, well, that allows me to get closer to these other people and that are new in my life or been around my life. But it's like 50 or 60 years, the people I've lost. So it's difficult to bring new people in. But it's that mind shift that was necessary. Right. So that's what I like is. So last night with. What was his name? Gregory.

Gregory, yeah.

So he said his first email was about, what are the good and the bad of the last 12 months? I have grief brains still. I would really have to sit down and ponder that and review that on an intentional basis. I do it sporadically thanks to Facebook, memories popping up. But to intentionally make that exercise, to intentionally design my life, I know that's something that I need to do. But without someone succinctly saying that and giving me that assignment, it would be difficult for me to do where I am in my life and grief cycle. So those would be the two that stick out. The third one would be just find your voice. I think I sound very nasal and very Midwestern. I don't. And I've been accused of having a witchy laugh. So I don't necessarily like the sound of my voice. I also, in my long term marriage, I would lose my voice for two weeks around Valentine's Day and I would get bronchitis. So heart chakra and throat chakra. I was never heard. My voice was never respected. So there's a lot of synchronicities, intuitiveness. Find your voice with your challenge. And Mitchell would always say, speak your onions. It didn't matter what was on my heart. He could read me in whatever way it knew something was spinning up here. Get it out. Let him help me carry the burden of whatever that was. And we could talk about Anything. So to have somebody who authentically wanted to hear what was on my mind and that would not deny and justify, would not get defensive, but would hear it and fully respond. Not react, but to respond and have a conversation about it. It was never a personal attack. It was always let's solve this issue. Because my heart was always safe with him. So having your voice heard, I mean just the title of it resonated with me. Yeah.

And it sounds like you really had someone that was able to hear your voice and maybe even got you more in touch with who you are too by just him being so kind, compassionate, loving and just giving you that safe space.

Right. And a real man, like full on man. And being vulnerable was never an issue for him. He would let go and let me if I had a better idea on fixing a problem. It did not diminish him whatsoever. We were full on team. Yeah.

And I think it's amazing just, I mean I said this earlier, but it really is coming to my heart is just how you weren't ready for that relationship with him and then you opened your heart up and then what a tremendous gift that was for you to be able to get in tune with just yourself even and to open yourself up in that way.

Well, yes. And I think it societally and with females are, I think, raised to support others. Right. So I felt like I had nothing to give because I was so emotionally bankrupt. Yet he saw something in me where I wasn't bankrupt. The hurt are like wounds to be healed. So it was different. He saw me for me and not what I had been through. Right. If you compare or contrast or consider an emotional wound, some kind of intangible wound to a physical wound, they both take time to heal and they're all going to be different based on what kind of wounds they are. And are you going to put your finger in the wound and make it worse or are you going to help it heal? And I was totally safe with him. And he was safe too. Everybody has wounds. No life is perfect and pieces have been missing of what would make you more joyful. So are they going to add to your peace and harmony and joy and is it a two way street? I use an analogy of being on a teeter totter in my first marriage. It was bullying. He kept me dangling at the top of the teeter totter. How do you get down when you're at the top and they're not going to let go? You can jump off and get hurt, but you're stuck. I was never on a teeter totter. We were on a tandem bicycle, working together. Yeah.

And I'm curious, did you have. When you guys were able to get deep into conversation and he was able to pull out whenever anything was going on with you, was there any kind of framework for those conversations, or was it just something that happened naturally?

It happened very naturally. But we shared almost every meal together. I thankfully lived close to home, and even before I moved in with him, it was still close enough to my office I could come home for lunch. We just talked about everything. But he was so emotionally aware, and I think I'm emotionally aware too. I asked for what I needed in the first marriage, and I would even say, can you do that? The answer would be yes, but there was no follow through to it. So I knew what I was feeling. I knew what I needed. I spoke out, but it was like a tree falling in a forest and no one's there to hear it, even though there was somebody there to hear it. He just snacked on it. And it's nothing outrageous that I asked for. I wanted communication, companionship, affection, attention and appreciation. Isn't that what you do in a respectful relationship? Friendship with anybody? That's all I asked and I didn't get it. So with Mitchell, he knew how to treat people. And I think maybe being a dog breeder, where he's a man, taking care of all these puppies and raising them to be champions, and yet also having them in his home, developed a sense of nurturing that I'm not sure many men really have. And we all deserve to be nurtured. After my brother died, the traumatic grief counselors asked me, who nurtures you? And I was dead silent. I asked her to define it. And the people who nurtured me were not under my roof. And I think who's under your roof should be nurturing to you. And you nurtured them back.

That's actually one of the reasons why I did the. For the second do the Thing dating challenge, I did the what do you love about yourself? Part of the core objective every day because that you are in control of. Right. It's hard, especially when as we go through all these different things and different people in our lives, and really loving ourselves is the thing that is integral in all of it. Did you end up doing that part? I'm just curious to how that was for you.

Yes.

Did you. Did you like that? Being able to note it down every day?

It was fine. It was hard for me to do consistently. I will admit that it was an. I actually had this conversation, I think on Sunday with a friend. And I don't know if you saw my Facebook post yesterday, but go take a look at it. I talked about the first time I was ever asked if I loved myself. And we were on Skype and she said, never mind. It was a meditation coach. And she said, never mind. Your look said everything. And I've distanced myself from her because I'd never been asked that. And I was probably 55 ish when she asked that. I'd never been asked if I loved myself. That was a brand new concept to me and all I was doing was pondering that, what does that mean to love myself, right? And her quick knee jerk reaction was that I didn't love myself, did not sit right with me because I do love myself. I'm a good person. There's a lot of things that are really good about me. Do I not like my kangaroo pouch? You know, I had three C sections. It's not easy to get rid of. You know, there are physical things that I don't like, but who my heart and soul is. Yes, I love who I am. I know I treat other people really well. I treat myself well.

What else do you think you learned about yourself during the challenges? Did you notice anything different or new that you got from it?

I acknowledged my lack of confidence in my physical presence, especially around other women who were also doing the challenge. I'm not confident that I present myself well, especially if I'm going to start flirting. I'm not what society says is beautiful. I'm over 60. I have gained weight since my husband died, so I'm not my buff strong presence that I used to be where I was physically confident. So my outward appearance doesn't match my inner soul. So I found myself. And I'm not one to compare. I very much admire the women's confidence out there. That's something I've got to work on. I've spent most of my life in a relationship, a long term unhealthy one and then a short term beautiful one. So to be out single and putting myself out there, that's a really hard thing for me. How do I gain that confidence when I'm at the gym? Mostly four to six times a week.

Well, speaking of that, what other challenges do you think would be helpful for do the thing? What do you think would help you the most?

I think an exercise on communication and values is important. I think that one of my mistakes in choosing poorly in the first marriage was that I thought, oh, look, we like all of the same things we've experienced. Our lives were pretty parallel. But when it comes down to how you treat others and what the values are, I think that's important. I made friends with another widow and she's widowed from a fabulous man, her first marriage. And I'm like, we should do a podcast on how to choose wisely the first time. I can choose wisely now, but why did I choose so poorly? We're not taught how to make that choice. I would love to have some kind of focus group with men to hear what they're looking for. The men who have told me I'm sexy, it's because of my passion for life, how I approach things, it's my energy, my joy. It has nothing to do with what I look like. Mostly I squat heavy. I guess my back end looks pretty good according to the men. Mitchell used to say, oh look, my lady has it coming and going. It wasn't about physical and it's like a really emotional connection. I would like to hear how men determine what they're looking for and how they evaluate a woman. And I think they're very visual. And let's circle back to. I'm not confident on how I present. I'm Compact, awesome. I'm five foot three. I'm not the model at 57595 10. Neil Mitchell said, I'm perfect size. It's the first time I've never felt short, yet I have huge shoulders. I was a competitive swimmer. I swam butterfly. One of my partners said, if I ever have a daughter, I'm not letting her swim because my shoulders are so big. But I can still do a handstand and I can still.

That's amazing.

That's great, right? Strong shoulders are a good.

Yeah. And then is there anything in terms of improving the challenges to keep people more engaged or consistent or is there anything else from a, from a challenge perspective, you think that could be better, that I could improve?

Even though I have my notifications sent to all the. When you post the challenge, it gets lost. So I'm behind. I do a catch up and I do several all at once. And a personal thing, I would just need. I just need to put it in my calendar to say, here's your time where you're going to do the challenge. I don't like any kind of stress of a deadline like that.

I like the idea of telling people to put it in their calendar. Do you think because there's some of them, I don't do it for all of them. Where I include a calendar or do you think it's better for me just to tell everyone okay now during maybe even the kickoff now put this in your calendar kind of thing.

I think it would be cool now know how people do it where you feed it into the calendar automatically. Wouldn't that be cool?

That's a great idea. Yeah, I like that.

It's almost like an appointment. Here's your appointment today. I love that there's so repellent people hardcore on the floor. You click on it and it posts the workouts right to your calendar and you know what's coming.

That's really good feedback. Anything else while we're on this topic?

I always would love more feedback. Not just like a pat on the back, but wow, that made me think of this. I worked a lot in the manufacturing industry in Kaizen and lean manufacturing and root cause analysis thing. And I think in life a lot of times if we go down five levels, we don't just ask the first question, but then we go down and get some more and then you get some more and you get what you go down five times and really massage that idea. There's a lot more learning to be done and self awareness and actions be taken.

What is that? So because I. I've. I've have some experience with authentic relating where you go down the different levels. But you mentioned a different thing that I haven't heard yet. So I'm excited to look into it. You said it was Kaizen?

Yeah. Kaizen is a manufacturing efficiency manufacturing technique. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right, but it's like the Toyota manufacturing efficiency in manufacturing here it's lean manufacturing. You get different color belts as you go through. It's usually an engineer that will get certified in different levels of lean manufacturing. And root cause analysis is the other thing they're all about not taking just that surface level, but to really drop down and ask a different form of the question or springboard from the first answer to go down even more.

Well, Cindy, the time is here. I would love to hear your biggest piece of advice for people on doing the thing.

Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. Go out and try it and do it.

And what would you recommend for people that are thinking about joining one of the do the thing challenges?

Same thing. Do it. There's no harm in doing it. But what if you missed it? It could be meeting somebody, it could be breaking through some plateau that you've had. There's so many good things that can happen. Dale Carnegie said Why worry? It doesn't do any good. What's the best thing that can happen? What's the worst thing that can happen? There's nothing bad that can happen from coming in. So you only have something to gain. You have nothing to lose.

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story of you and Mitchell. It really touches my heart when I hear you talk about him in the group and now as well. And I think it's amazing to know just how you can overcome something so hard and then find something so beautiful and now have that as you approach new things. So I appreciate you doing that as well.

Well, thank you. I. I think that all of us have something in our story to share to help someone live a more fulfilling and joy filled life. There are both men and women who have left relationships because they didn't realize what was unhealthy. And there are people who have dared to love again. Knowing how bad my first situation was and I dared to love with Mitchell and how wonderful it was, so it gave them the courage. If I did it, they can do it.

So beautiful. I think you just named the next challenge Dare to Love Again.

Oh, I love it. And it's on Valentine's Day.

So good. Thanks for coming on. It's been amazing having you in the group and the community. And is there any place people can learn about you? Are you on social media where they can follow along with your story?

I'm on Instagram as fitnessfan100 and the same with Twitter.

Perfect.

And on Facebook is Cindy Larson.

Awesome. Thank you for joining me. I appreciate it.

Oh, thanks for inviting me, Stacy. I've enjoyed all the challenges. Thanks for doing what you do for so many.

Thank you. Oh, and then before we get off, now that you're a part of do the thing. So what does do the Thing represent for you? What does that mean to you when you hear the words now that you've been a part of it, when you.

Hear do the thing, I've been applying it to all my business and death stuff. Just do it and get it over with. I do one to three things a day. That's it. And that's all I need to do. I don't need to do it all. So it's similar to Mel Robbins. Five seconds, right? Just do it. Just go and do it. It's forced me to take action. Even if I don't want to go out and I'm tired. I'm more likely since Mitchell died to cancel and it's like no go. It's just kind of like starting your workout, do five minutes, and if you want to stop, you can stop. But at least you did five minutes. So if you go and you're not having fun, you can go home.

Yeah, I love that idea because a lot of times you're thinking you have to stay for a whole thing, but you don't. You can just go for five minutes, and if it's not feeling good, then you don't have to stay. No one's forcing you. There's. I love that idea.

Yeah. That goes back to being honest with yourself and paying attention to how you feel. I was talking to the widower of one of my best friends that died in September, and he didn't feel good somewhere. It was with family, but it just didn't feel right any less. Like, good for you. Sometimes you just need to rest and be home. So to trust those gut feelings, that's really important. If I had listened to my gut, I would never have gotten into that long term marriage. Because that little voice in my head said, the keys are in the limo run. Oh, wow. And I didn't. Wow. I didn't know what that was. I was 25. Yeah. I didn't know that.

I heard that voice back then.

Yeah. Yep. I should have done that.

Well, are you going to join the do the Thing, Start a book challenge?

Well, I need to. Yeah. Several started. What did I say about consistency?

Yeah, that's great. Well, this will be great. It's only 14 days. And then right after, we're going to do the Start a Podcast challenge. So. Which sounds like you have one with your friend that is potentially in the works and then whatever else. But the idea is the start, and then when it feels alive, the momentum will come. And it could be exactly what you're doing right now, where you're starting different things and trying different things. This could be exactly what you need until you really get lit up. And then all of a sudden you're going to be moving with that momentum of whatever that thing is that makes you feel the most alive.

Yes.

It's that kind of like, what's the discovery?

Yeah. And you've got great resources. What, Pamela's doing the book one?

Yeah, yeah, we're going to do it together. It's exciting. I have the expert panel actually, tomorrow we're going to be doing together too, where we're going to talk about it, so. All right, well, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

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