Coach Hines: Discover Why This Coach Wants You To Share With Full Transparency, Empower Those Around You, And Enjoy The Process As You Do The Thing

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So. All right, guys. You know those times in your life when you get to see someone who's doing the thing, but then you also get to actually, like, live them embodying do the thing with other people? Well, this next guest is that situation. Actually got lucky enough to be introduced to him through my daughter, who happens to be on his football team. And I got to see through her and through watching how he is with all these amazing kids, just how he lives and breathes and embodies everything would do the thing both in his own life and helps others do the same. So I'm so excited to dive in and talk to him more about his story and then also how he's able to help these amazing kids do the thing in their life. So I am welcoming Coach Hines to the show. Hi, Coach Hines.

Stacey, how are you?

I am doing great.

I'm happy to make this work finally. And we connected. I think it was before the season or during the season, so I appreciate you reaching back out, and I'm honored to be on your show.

Thank you. At the time when I originally connected to you, I didn't have the do the Thing formula dissected yet, and so it's kind of cool. I have, actually, since we talked, I've dissected the formula, and that was something I'm actually excited to talk to you about at some point on this interview and how you integrate it in with your team as well. So it's kind of perfect timing to happen right now.

Well, I'm excited to dive into it and see what I'm doing. Right. And to learn what. What I can do better, to be honest.

Yeah. And actually, that statement right there is exactly what I think is so awesome about you. It's just that continued open and evolved learning and just keeping that open mind. It's. It's amazing.

Well, I appreciate that.

So I'd love to start off and just have you share for the listeners, more about you and your story.

Yeah. And. And please feel free to cut me off whenever I become too long winded. I am a father of four. My wife and I have been married for over 28 years now. I have three daughters and one son. We both, my wife and I are born and raised the East Coast. I'm from Rhode island, she's from Massachusetts, and we raised our four children in New Hampshire and moved out here to San Diego eight years ago when we had our first grandson. And now we have two grandsons that are six and seven. Just love everything about life. I teach elementary school. I am currently in my 28th year teaching. I currently teach 4th grade and I just wrapped up my 25th year coaching high school football. In addition to teaching and coaching, I paint murals. Kind of. It's funny, I often say it sounds like I'm being facetious or funny, but I'm a master of absolutely nothing and expert in nothing but passionate about most things. So I'm just, I really consider myself blessed to truly love what I do and who I'm able to do it with.

Amazing. I didn't actually know you paint murals too. That's incredible. How did you even get into that?

Yeah, so I actually. Art was always a passion of mine and I actually knew I wanted to do something with art prior to me even knowing I wanted to coach. Heading from high school to college, I knew I was going to become an elementary education major. And when I was looking around to choose a minor, art was something that I was always passionate about. Growing up in Rhode Island, I took a few courses at risd Rhode Island School of Design and just knew it was something I loved doing. So never planned on becoming a muralist, if you will. But long story short, I did one mural for some friends way back when and thought that'd be a one and done. Then someone else asked me to and it went from doing murals in families, children's bedrooms or playrooms, to formal dining rooms and kitchens to businesses to outside buildings, you name it. So to be honest with you, Stacy, I love art. I love teaching art. I'm a regular education, regular classroom teacher, so I teach all the subjects in fourth grade, integrate art a lot into what I do. But one of the things I love most about it is when I coach football and in conversations with our players, often they'll find out I teach elementary school. And then during conversations, many of them find out I paint murals. And I think it's a cool thing because I think so often, as passionate as I am about football, it is overpopulated with a lot of Neanderthal, I'm going to say dumb jock mentality of, hey, this is football. And er, just grunt, you know, Neanderthal, caveman esque type stuff. And I love being, I can be honest, you know, example. I believe that you can be passionate and excel, if you will, in multiple things in life and you don't have to fit into some stereotypical. And you, you know that as well as I do with Avery. And hopefully you don't mind me saying your daughter's name, but you know, with Avery being on our football team, one of three young women this past season who, man, I love everything about them as I do about our male players. And they're just football players. And when I say just football players, what I mean by that is I don't look at Avery or the other two young women as girls football players. I look at them as football players who in a large scope of things are human beings who happen to play football.

Yeah. And I think that was something that really struck me was just how open and encouraging and supportive you were throughout that whole process. And I know it made a huge difference for her and then also sure. For the other, the other players on the team. So I thought that was really, really just a testament to who you are as well.

I appreciate that.

So. Oh my gosh, I don't know where to take this. You have do the thing with marriage, being married for as long as you have. You have do the thing with art, do the thing with teaching, do the thing with coaching.

You know, you know what's funny? And I don't, I don't want to, obviously I want to listen more and just kind of go up your questions, but when I talk to people about those things you just mentioned, and I'm not saying you feel this way, but a lot of people think, oh my gosh, they're so different. You know, coaching high school football and teaching elementary school and painting, they're all so different. For me, they're so closely intertwined because it all comes down to relationship. Even painting murals. I want to build a relationship with that client where I'm just not just painting what they originally said they wanted, but kind of getting them to know them a little bit better. Like, I want to know my students and our student athletes so I can find out what sparks their fire, what gets them to tick and what drives and motivates them to better help them in the classroom or on the football field or just in life.

Totally. And I love that you took it in this direction. So I think, I think this is actually the perfect segue to me kind of talking to you about the do the Thing formula. Because what I've really done through all the interviews on this podcast is I've been able to notice patterns, right, of how people do the thing. And for you, it's, you have all these patterns for how you do the thing with all these different things that you're doing. And then also you get to see all the patterns with the kids that you're coaching, both the ones that are successful or, or really doing the thing. I kind of look at success. And doing the thing is different, right, because doing the thing is actually just you being successful. It doesn't mean you have to be good at it, if that makes sense. But I thought we can kind of go through the formula and then you could kind of, we could kind of see where that goes. If that sounds good, that sounds great. Okay, so the, the formula is called I'm game, which is kind of perfect, right? Because LIFE is a game. It's an acronym. And I've actually seen you talk about this on your podcast before, so I know you have a lot to say. I. And I'm excited for the listeners to hear what you say about this. But basically it's I is identify the why. So anything you want to do and do the thing language is just basically identifying the why. And Simon Sinek says it really well in his TED Talk, and a lot of people talk about the why. But I'd love to hear from you how both. Have you helped identify the why when you're doing something new, or even when you have these players that are coming to you and they're going to play on your team, helping them identify why they want to do it?

Yeah, great question. It's funny, I actually had not heard of Simon Simic, and I'm a big fan now, but I hadn't heard of him until just about two or three years ago, believe it or not. And he's, I think, nationally, not world known and unbelievable. But for me, what happened was when I first became a head coach in Bedford, New Hampshire, way back when, I had always heard people in the coaching world say for years that, hey, if you want to be successful in coaching, whether you're an assistant coach or a head coach, you need to have a thick skin. You need to have a thick skin. And for me, the way I interpreted thick skin was, you got to build up a wall, don't share too much of who you are, don't get too close, keep players that will distance a little bit, keep family. And that never sat well with me because that's just, just not who I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Love it or hate it. I just feel like the more transparent I am with my wife, with our children, with students, student athletes, the more it benefits everyone. So I really thought about, you know, what's the difference between building, you know, having thick skin and how else could I phrase that for my own benefit and to benefit others. And it came down to the power of why. And for me, my why, and I believe this to my core is I truly believe I've been created, I've been brought into this world to empower, build up and bless as many people as I can. And yes, a lot of it's been through choices, choosing to be a teacher, choosing to be a football coach. But I also think there are a lot of teachers and coaches who do it for other reasons, whether it's right or wrong. And for me, the why is just rooted in everything I do. I believe we can have a very successful football season and only win five games. Now, the world may not see it that way. They might always look at the scoreboard. But if my why is to bless, build up, and empower as many people as I can, that might be for a student athlete in our team that's not starting or doesn't do that well. But the experience in our program with that student athlete, myself could be life changing and change their, you know, or yeah, life changing can change their lives forever. Just like the students in my class. I've had countless parents in 28 years very, very kindly say, oh, you know, my son or daughter always hated school. Now they love it. I don't think I'm better than the teacher. I don't think I have any special gift. But what I do know that I do and maybe other teachers don't spend enough time doing is building relationships with them. And for me, that that's everything. Because I know when I was growing up, I wanted to perform, perform better and do better when I had teachers and coaches, parents, youth leaders, whatever it was that I knew had a vested interest in who I was as a human being. Not because I was so smart, not because I was such a great student athlete, but just because I was Kurt Heinz, just an individual, not a number on a roster somewhere. So I think knowing our why as leaders is tremendously important, but we also have to empower our student athletes, our students, our own children, to help them discover and build upon their own why. And the last thing I'll say about that before I turn it back over to you is one of the greatest things I love and the greatest challenges about coaching is you have on any given year, 50 to 150 young men and young women with all different backgrounds, all different hurts, all different pains, all different strengths. And they don't all have the same goal. Not all of them want to go on to play college football. Not all of them really care they start or not. But they all have a different why as to why they're there. And I think if we can build a relationship with them and help them to find out what that why is, we can then help foster that why so they can have the greatest success possible in achieving their goals. Not necessarily mine as a coach or ours as a program.

What do you think is the best way that you found that you guys are able to help these kids discover and build their own?

Why this exactly what you and I are doing. Just having conversations, you know, obviously, I think in person is always better whenever it's possible. How you foster that why in people, it's just getting to know what their fears are, getting to them to know what their dreams are, helping them along that process of just not looking too far ahead. I think so much of life and so much joy is lost in worrying about what happened in the past that we can't change and focusing way too much in the future that may or may not happen. And if we all just allowed ourselves to be present, to focus on the here and now, I think we'd be a lot more joyful and a lot more successful.

And you are, of course, leading into the next piece of the formula. So I figured we'll go here. So we have the M in I'm is mindset. And so I'd love to talk about that because you're sort of going there with the focusing on the present, the here and now. I'd love to just kind of talk to you a little bit more about mindset, both how you approach that in your own life, and then also help the players do it as well.

Yeah, for me, for me, mindset is everything. I think this comes from years of just being in the wrong mindset. You know, growing up, I've always been a people person. I've always loved as far back as I can remember, had had a lot of friends from all walks of life, you know, playing high school football. Sometimes there are those very immature cliques that football players, football players, soccer players, soccer players. And I had a Lot of friends on a football team, but I also was friends with kids in drama. I was friends with kids in the soccer team. I was friends with what community or certain people called the druggie group, although I wasn't doing that stuff. I just like and still like and love people. But the mindset for me was I never played the victim growing up, but I did allow myself to just get involved with. To put it frankly, I drank all the time growing up. And I loved to fight. I love to fight, and I was so passionate about football. I would not get into fights, so I wouldn't drink a lot during the football season. But once it was over, all hell broke loose. And in hindsight, I put my parents through countless sleepless nights and nightmares because I was getting arrested all the time growing up because I was going out with the intent of getting drunk, going out with the intent of, hey, I want to get drunk, and I want to look to fight something, because I love the rush of that. And it was the summer after my freshman year back in Rhode island from college. My brother and I had a party. My parents were out of town with my younger sister, and I ended up getting into a fight with my brother, older brother by three years. My friends pulled me off, which they should have. I was 100% in the wrong. And the police ended up coming and got into a fight with three police officers. I had three felonies, Stacy. That could have been, and I don't want to say should have been, by the grace of God or for me, that's what it is. Whatever you want to call it, could have been and should have been life altering. I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. And I don't think there's a school in the country, or should there be, that's going to have teachers that have felonies. And long story short, after a very long court process, and my parents were very blue collar, you know, worked for every dollar they had, you know, family, and they refinanced their house, and we had a lawyer. And the three felonies got low to simple assault. I had 300 hours of community service. I had three years of probation and a lot of growing up. The mindset change for me was, I think it was the third year of probation. I'd gotten into another fight. I'd gotten arrested, and I was talking to a police chief in a neighboring town of where I grew up, and he said, hey, I talked to Lieutenant Young in Barrington, where I grew up, and he told me about the fight. You know, tell me about it. So I very humbly started telling you about the fight, and he baited me perfectly. And he said, no, no, no. He said, you really said you really messed up through his guys, like, tell, you know, tell me about that. So I fell for it. And I started to get excited about telling him, you know, all the different things I did to what worked. And about halfway through, he slammed his fist on the death. And he said, do you know how many good kids there are in prison that just didn't grow up, that just didn't realize what a blessing? And I'm paraphrasing, but he pretty much just said to me, like, get your head out of your butt or you're end up like so many others that are good people just end up in prison for the rest of their lives. And for me, that changed everything. My wife and I met my senior year in college. I quit drinking, and I didn't want to be that husband that, you know, saw his wife apologizing to his children for, hey, dad didn't mean what he said, or dad didn't mean what he did when he was drunk. And I refused to be that guy. And that really changed the trajectory of my life because I didn't want to be someone who just brought pain and sorrow to other people. You know, for me, even though it wasn't true, fighting in high school and college was just fun, you know, no. No real damage was done in my mind. Although there was damage done when I met Jillian, when I met my wife, or my wife to be. At the time, we knew very early on that we were going to be together. I thought, you know what? I refuse to be that person. So for me, my mindset is as cliche as it sounds. Every day is a gift. Every day is a blessing. If we're not using that blessing to bless others, we're not living life the right way. That may have been a long answer to your question, so I apologize. But the mindset, just about being a gift to others.

Yeah. I'm so glad you shared that, because it really shows the person you are today by you having gone through that experience and by you having that guy that stood up for you basically by calling out your. I don't want to curse.

Yeah, yeah.

But being able to, like, get you to wake up. Right. And now you're almost. I mean, you are doing that for other people. Right. That's your role as their coach, is you are able to wake people up from whatever they're going through. And so it's just. I love being able to see that parallel you had to go through all that crap, you know what I mean? To be able to kind of like, be where you are now and to be able to see it in the way that you see it now.

Well, you know, it's funny. I 100% agree. And I also think when I have a young man or a young woman in our team that's struggling with things, I think so often our children, our youth, you know, our own children that we brought into this world, our students, student athletes, put us on a pedestal, even though they never. They don't often act like it. We might think they're fighting against everything we're doing, but I think sometimes there's this disconnect when they think, hey, Coach Hines has got it all figured out, or Stacey's got it all figured out, or so and so's got. And none of us do. Even. Even the people that are living the lives they love and living their calling. And as you mentioned, or as you. Your podcast, doing the thing, we're all a work in progress. And I think when we go through the hell, when we go through the nonsense and all that craziness, we can be transparent with others and say, listen, I am who I am today because I went through that stuff. I know what you're dealing with. I know what you've been through, and there is a way out. And I'm a firm believer that people can change if they choose to. Not easy, but they can.

Yeah. And I had a question, too, since you have some context around this. One of the things I'm doing right now with the do the Thing formula is I'm creating curriculum around it, and I'm eventually going to be able to work with people that are in prison and helping them rehabilitate. And from the. From my. I owned a staffing company before I exited from that business, and we helped people get jobs that had criminal backgrounds. And the thing that I noticed constantly that got in their way was that. That regret and the sorrow from the things they had done. And I was like, man, if they could just get past that, then that will open up so much more for them in their brain, right? To be able to do new things. But it's so hard to get people to see past that. I was just wondering if you had thoughts on. On a way to get people when they've done things that they're maybe not proud of is how to. How to get yourself to forgive yourself and then be able to see that it's all part of this, this plan.

Yeah, great. I. I love that. And I think it's a great question. I don't know if I have why. Actually, I know I don't have the answer. I think an answer I have goes back to building the relationship. You know, I think all of us, when we are in our bathroom looking at ourselves in the mirror, we see flaws that no one else sees. We see things we don't like about ourselves that no one else would even notice. And I think sometimes people look at me as a coach and they go, he's a big guy and he's strong and stuff. Yeah, I'm big and strong, but man, I have a lot of insecurities about certain things. When we try to help people to see that their past doesn't define them. It's a challenging thing, but I think it's a powerful thing when we can share with them. I think everyone knows that everyone has a path, but we can say, listen, our past only define us as much as we allow them to. You know, And I think especially in today's day and age. I love social media. I'm definitely guilty of being on social media a lot. I love it or hate it, but I think people can fall victim of it and using social media to only compare themselves with everyone else's, you know, highlight reel, so to speak. And I think it's beautiful thing that we can put on social media, hey, here are my good days, here are my bad days. And share with full transparency. You know, our past is what helps make us who we are, but it doesn't define us unless we allow it to.

And then I'd love to, before we move on to the next piece, I'd love to just kind of talk about the kids that you're coaching. Have you seen something that really, really works? So in addition to the relationship, Because I really love that and acknowledging them and being able to identify certain things, them. Is there something else that really works for you to be able to get through that mindset shift, to be able to turn someone into action or be able to live to their fullest potential?

Yeah, you know, I. I think I might be simplifying it too much follow through. And what I mean by that is, you know, I tell our players all the time, hey, I love you. And you can see that the faces, whether it's the male or female, sometimes they look at you, hey, I love you too, coach. And sometimes they look at you like you have three heads. Like, wait a minute, you decide, I love you. And you know that either they're not Comfortable hearing that, or they don't feel worthy of it, or they don't hear that from their own parents or whatever it is. I think part of that relationship part is following up with them. When you've had a conversation about something and maybe a day or two or three later, just texting them, saying, hey, I'm thinking about you, or are you okay with everything or what's going on, I think that's missed a lot. And I think something I started to do several years ago that I pray I never let go of is if someone comes to my heart, whether it's a family member, a player, anyone, I reach out to them as soon as I can, Whether it's a phone call, a text. I think all too often in life we say, oh, they know I care about them. Well, you know, maybe they don't. Maybe they heard you say before, but maybe they need it right now. So I think follow through. And following up with people, even when there's no agenda, hey, I'm just reaching out to let you know I love you. Or, hey, I'm just reaching out to you to see how you're doing and go a real long way.

I'd love to go on to. So we have. I'm. We talked about identify the why and mindset. So now we're going on to game. So we'll go into goals. So that's the G is goals. And I know you guys do this really well. I'd love to just kind of hear, actually, let's start with you and your life. Because, I mean, you. You do such extraordinary things with everything that you're managing. I'd love to hear how you handle goals for yourself first.

Yeah, I am. I love competition. I love competition in almost all things, and not even as cliche as it sounds, not even really competing with others, but competing with ourselves. I'm a firm believer in the power of visualization. I do a thing with my fourth graders called picture writing, and I'll explain it really quickly. But, you know, I sit often on the circle and the floor with the students. I'm on the same level as them. And I'll say, hey, guys, close your eyes. They all close their eyes. And I'll say, car. And I'll say, all right, open your eyes. And I'll say, what came to your mind? And they'll say, oh, my mom's red car. My dad's white truck, or my mom's. Whatever it is. Now say, let's do it again. We go through several things. I'll say, Dog. And once they open their eyes, I'll say, what came to your mind? And they'll say, oh, the French poodle we have, or the pit bull we have, or whatever. And my teaching point to them is we're visual creatures. I've never in 28 years teaching, when I've done that, had someone open their eyes and say, oh, I thought dog or I thought car. We don't think in words, we think in pictures. And the reason I share that is I have for years now and I continue to created vision boards where I will cut out pictures from magazines. I'm sure you've seen them before. You may do them yourself and put them on paper in a creative way from an artist standpoint. And I look at them daily. I have two in my classroom right behind me right now that I look at daily. I truly believe that there's a lot of power in visualizing what we want in life, what we want to focus on. And that reminds me, one of my favorite quotes is, you know, God will move mountains in your life, but don't be surprised to behave a pick and a shovel. You know, I say that because I don't believe visualization gets things done. I think it helps drive us towards action that can then further move us into the direction that we want to move into. But as far as goals, for myself, I believe in long term goals, I believe in attainable goals. But it all for me goes back to what your why is. Because I think we can have certain goals and then over a course of six months or a year, we realize it may not align as well as we thought it would with our why. And one real life example of that was about seven, eight months ago, I was offered a dream coaching job in Georgia. It would have been more money than I'm making now. Cost of living is a lot cheaper, and everything would have been phenomenal. Prayed about it, talked to my wife about it, and it just didn't feel right because it would have taken me away from my why. And my why for me is to empower, as I mentioned, as many people as I can. Now I can do that anywhere. But right now I'm doing it in a place where all four of our children are, our two grandsons are. So for me, the goals of eventually coaching at a certain school or with certain athletes didn't align with my why. So it was easy to, after a week of talking about it and praying about it, reach back out to this gentleman that reached out to me and said, hey, I really appreciate the offer, but it's just not the right timing. I think people get lost in setting goals for themselves and there are several traps. One, not giving themselves enough time to achieve that goal. I think they said it, you know, let's say I want to lose 10 pounds within a month and gosh, a week goes by and I haven't lost anything yet. And they just give up or they just don't trust themselves in the process of just continuing to take the steps necessary to get to that goal. So I think goal setting is very important, but I also think you have to keep it in check and make sure it always aligns with our. Why?

Yeah, I think this is really powerful because there's so many people that can get stuck in the detailed of the goal setting and then it's hard for them to move. And you really spoke to a good point, which I've been actually kind of talking to lately. One of my guests on, on the podcast had mentioned the idea of having a rough draft sometimes of a goal. You might not know exactly what you want, but you have an idea of it and then you just take steps to go in the direction. And it sounds like you're doing that too in terms of when you're doing your vision board. Right. So you see what you want and then you're making these steps. But you're not being hard on yourself if you don't hit certain milestones at a certain time.

Exactly. Well, I think I have an advantage in, for me personally being a teacher and a coach, I always tell my students, trust the process. If you're reading every day for 20 minutes, you're going to get better. It's just, there's no, there's no magic pill. It's just gonna happen. I tell our players, well, they want to lose weight, gain weight, increase strength, whatever it is. Trust the process. Keep coming in, keep fueling your body. It's going to happen. I'm in a competition right now with my one of my son in laws to see who can get the most miles clocked in between last Tuesday and a trip we're going on in May. I'm 51 years old and he's 28, I believe, 29. And everyone's like, no, there's not a chance you're going to beat him. There's no way. And I love it because it's a win win. Now I'm determined to beat him and I love him. I'm determined to win this competition. But if I don't, the end goal for me is just get in better Shape just to be healthier for myself, my wife, for our children, for our grandchildren. So you have to enjoy the process. And I think some people have certain goals for themselves, thinking that once they achieve those goals, then they'll be happy. And I think that's a dangerous thing because so often, whether it's making the NFL or starting your own company, or people think that getting to a certain milestone will then bring them happiness. And I think the happiness is in committing to a goal, committing to it and saying, hey, every day I wake up, I'm going to get 1% better. I'm going to get to that goal this morning. I knew after work today I had a podcast, I had a staff meeting rather I knew I had this podcast and I'm following this and I'm like, man, I'm not going to be able to get any miles in today. So last night I was like, you know what, I can make excuses or I can get better. So I set my alarm for 4am and I'm not a morning person. I usually get up at 5:30. I set my alarm for 4:00am, it went off, I went out for an hour. I feel on top of the world. And as soon as I get outside, about 10 minutes in, start to rain. Now I'm like, I am not going back inside right now just because it's raining a little bit and it didn't let up. It just kept raining and raining and raining. But it felt great. Now I probably won't be my son in law for today for the miles, because I know he's going to play basketball and he's going to do some other stuff. But I feel great because I know I'm one step closer to getting to where I want to be.

Yeah. So this is actually a really good example this, this thing you have with your son with the most miles. Because I think a lot of people think they have to have these really crazy huge goals and then they're not starting with the smaller goals. Right. And so by you doing this with your son, that, and granted, let's say you hadn't had all the success already with doing the thing, but let's say you're just starting and you want to do something new. Doing something like this is great because then you're building the confidence that you're able to follow through on the things you say to yourself. But with something that's maybe not as huge as opening up a business or playing for your school football team or whatever it may be, you know, it's like a smaller goal to kind of build the confidence to show that you can follow through.

Yeah, absolutely. I think goes a little bit back, Stacey, to what you mentioned when you're working with inmates, trying to get them to get out of the mindset of, hey, I've always been a delinquent or a criminal or a low life or whatever, whatever stereotype or stigma or what am I looking for, label they put on themselves or they feel society puts on them. It's just not tricking our mind, but just conditioning our mind. I like that better. Just like we train muscles, I can't go to the gym one time for two hours and leave and be in the shape I want to be in. I need to go not every day, but I need to go consistently throughout the course of my life. And I'm going to gradually get better and have some better days than others, but I'm going to continue to get better. And I think for our goals, it is every time you have a success that is consciously and subconsciously, hey, I achieved that. I did something that was challenging and there's a lot of power to that.

I like that. And it's interesting, I was thinking your 1% better was mindset, but I actually think it is under goals. Because you're having a goal to be 1% better.

Yeah, I think it could be definitely in both. Absolutely.

And so I'm going to the next letter, but I, I think this is going to lead into. Actually I'll go, I'll tell you what the next letter is and then that'll help me understand this thing you're doing with your son. Because this is actually a really good, a good perfect thing to share for people that anyone could probably start and do this. Right. And this is like a good first step, I think, for people. But next letter in game is accountability. So we're at the A. So we have I is identify, the Y, M is mindset, that's I'm and then game we have G is goals and then A is accountability. So let's start with this thing with your son because I think this is a good one because obviously you're out in the rain, right, Getting your miles in. And part of it, I'm sure it's because you're doing this with your son. And so can you talk more about how you guys set this, this program that with each other up?

Yeah, it's actually, and I hate to say the one I'm about to say because I don't want to feel like I'm correcting you. It's Actually, with my son in law, I did a different competition with my son just for his wedding. And I was able to win that competition. But that's a whole other story. But with Jeremy, with my son in law, we were talking. So we had decided as a family that my wife and I and our four children, their significant others and our grandsons are all going to go to some resort at the end of the school year in May. And we were talking about fitness and I'm 270. Well, I was 280. 280.4 pounds. Not proud of it. Bigger than I should be. My son in law has no weight to lose. He's in great shape, but just wanted to have some challenge. So we were trying to think of something to motivate both of us. And he came up with the idea, hey, what do we do? A step challenge. And we said, all right, we'll step miles, we'll just convert it. And for accountability, what we said is we're going to do it from the last Tuesdays when we started until the day before we leave in, I think it's May 26th, somewhere around there. And what we'll do is on our iPhone, you know, it'll track your steps and track your miles, so you're going to have to have the honor system. But we will every Saturday night show each other our phones for the past week. Now, it's funny because last week we started on Tuesday. He works from home and my daughter, our daughter Abby and Jeremy just moved back in with us. So he works from home, from our home, and he has a lot of time and he mentioned it. It's gonna be a challenge, but absolutely, let's do it. And I saw on social media he had tagged me on Instagram and one day he had gone for a walk in the morning around lunchtime, he went to the gym. Later on in the night, he's playing basketball. And I'm like, man, he's just crushing it. He's just killing it. So I took the ad of, hey, you know, work in silence, just work quietly. So when it came down for Saturday, I said, let's go one day at a time and share how many you had on Tuesday. I'll share what I had. I'll go first for Wednesday and you can share. And he ended up having like 23.7 miles down to last week and I ended up having 30. So yay for me. That lasted about two seconds long because I saw the fire in his eyes. And he calls me coach and he goes Coach, like, you taught me, like, a valuable lesson. I'm like, what's that? He's dead serious. And our daughter Abby's in the room there. My wife Jill was there. We were all in our living room. I was like, what's that? He's like, not to underestimate anyone. And I knew what he was saying, but I looked at him, I said, it was a straight face. I said, wait, whoa, whoa. You underestimated me. And he's like, no, no, no, no. I said, I'm kidding. I said, no, I get it. I said, you're twice your age or almost twice your age. And I was busting his chop, and I said, I woke in a sleeping giant, haven't I? Which you have. You have. I said, he's very spiritual as well. I said, so you're agreeing that I've woken a sleeping giant? Yeah. I looked at my wife, I said, he's forgetting that I'm David, he's Goliath, and. And I said it loud enough for him to hear, and he's like, oh, you know, I just love the camaraderie. I love the banter back and forth. Funny thing is because I told you about this morning, I didn't have a lot of time this afternoon to go out and walk. So I was like, I'm set my alarm. And I got up so quietly, you know, they're one end of the house worth the other, but the house isn't that big. So I tiptoed downstairs, went outside, closed the real quietly, went for an hour, I kid you not, Came back, everyone was still asleep. Good for her. My wife got in the shower, got in my truck to come to work. And I look over to my left and there's Jeremy, who had just started to go for a walk. He didn't even know I was out of the house yet. So it was very funny that we're both kind of, you know, pushing that kind of. We're both pushing each other in tremendous ways. But it's. It's a. It's a win, win. You know, there's a prize at the end for whoever the winner is, but the accountability is huge. And I think accountability can be a fun Things like. Like this can be. Well, I'll tell you a story about mentioning a friend's name. Accountability can be a fun thing like this, where you're trying to both get in better shape, or a much more serious thing. I had a dear friend of mine, one of my best friends I've known for, gosh, been a part of 28 years, who called me three or four days ago and shared he was struggling with something very personal. And I think, you know, can we call each other or text each other every day, every other day or something and just kind of make sure I'm staying on the straight and narrow. And I said, absolutely, and I won't share his name or share what he's struggling with. But the accountability, sometimes it's easier for us because we hang on to our past and not in a good way. It's easier for us to quit on ourselves and to go back to old habits. But if we know we have someone we love, whether it's a spouse, a co worker, a friend, a coach, a player that is going to hold us accountable and not judge us, that accountability can in itself just change who we are.

It's so good because, yeah, I don't think people look at it in the way of being able to almost save someone's life. So it could be really powerful to have that accountability piece and then also to know, because everyone's going to have a different way that it works for them, to really understand what that button is that's going to light that fire for you.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Yeah. I'm also curious, just from a team perspective, how the accountability works on your team.

Yeah. You know, it's funny, the accountability, for me, it's a funny thing with high school football because, you know, I have a staff, we have 14 coaches on our staff, including myself. I love them all. And one of the reasons I wanted to be a head coach back in New Hampshire and here in California was so I could select the men and or women who I wanted to help build a program with. And for me, it has very little to do with their experience with football. Are they first and foremost people, persons? Is that the thing? People persons? Are they people people? Do they care about people and then I can help to teach them about football. But, you know, the accountability with one another is. It's paramount. I think it's something that drives all we do. I think a lot of people can be self motivated, self driven. That's great if you are. But a lot of people, like I said, just find it too easy to kind of fall back and do, oh, I started New Year's resolution, I quit again, or I started this. They go back to old habits. I think the accountability is a big thing.

Yeah. And I'm just wondering also, because it seems like you're able to transform accountability into almost like a game. So would you have suggestions for people that are maybe Struggling that need to add some accountability. How they can almost make it fun.

Yeah, for me it goes back to, you know, helping the players to find out their why. You know, it's funny, you talk about the games. My first year as a head coach in New Hampshire, we had, we had no seniors. It was a brand new high school. We were phasing in the high school with freshmen through juniors. And that first year, I think it was week five or six, we were 05 or 06 and just getting beat up week after week. And one of the days I decided to, instead of doing conditioning, take out dodgeballs and play dodgeball with our team. And our kids were loving it. They were just having a blast. They were working hard, they're working. Change of direction, they were working. Their fine motor skills that they didn't even realize they were working. Came back into the coach's office afterwards. This is back in New Hampshire once again. My first year and three of my assistant coaches just looked pissed. They looked furious. And I looked around the guys, what's up? And one of the coaches who's now one of my best friends for those first few years, we would, we would butt heads a lot. He said, coach, what was that? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he points to where we were outside. He's like, they were laughing around, joking. I'm like, yeah. He's like, we're Owen 5 or 0 and 6, whatever it is. I was like, that's exactly what that was. I said this is a game. I'll never say it's just a game because it's too important. Too many things and too many lives can be changed to call it just a game. But this is a game and we got to continue to make it fun for them. I think accountability with our teammates is once again getting them to know what their why is and then getting them to love one another enough to say, listen, your why might just to play football and have the experience and that's it and you're doing it. And to understand that their presence matters every single time. So when you have a day and you've had a long day in school and you're tired, you just want to skip practice or your sore from the day before, you want to skip practice or you have a lot of homework and you want to skip practice, understand that if you love your teammates enough, you're going to show up even on the days you don't want to. Because their why might be completely different. They might be to play college football or they might come from a neglectful or abusive home life. And they need to be around positive teammates. So getting them to understand that accountability is showing up for your teammates even when you don't feel like it, pushing your teenage people, you don't feel like it. And I think just growing together.

Yeah, that's so good. Okay, we're moving on to the next piece of the formula. You're doing good. So, okay, we went through the I'm part, which is identify the Y and the M is mindset, and now we're on to game. So we did G is goals is accountability and then the M. This is actually my favorite piece. It's called My people. My people is actually different than like minded people. A lot of people talk about the five people that you're around and you're the average of them. I believe in that 100%. But I also believe that or from the do the thing formula that I've dissected through all the interviews, that there's something called my people, which are people that are doing the same thing as you, that want the same thing. And that's what gives you the community and the connectedness that you need to grow. And so I'd love to hear both in your life and then also on the team how you think my people works.

Yeah, I love it. I don't know how much I have to add because I love it. I just haven't heard it said that way before. It's funny because I think so often, especially once again when we go back to social media in today's world and I don't think that our youth are any less or more guilty of it than we are, I think we look at our post and we go, how many likes did that get? Even if we don't say that out loud, we think that get a lot of likes and a lot of people comment on it. And that's great to have a big following, if you will, or it's not great, whatever it is. But when I hear you say, when I think of my people, I think of, as you mention, like minded people like my wife will often say, like there are people, there are types of people. I think there's a lot of power in that. But at the same time, I think the world, especially since 2020, beginning of a pandemic, I'm not going to get political, but I think the world has become so black or white where, hey, if you vote for this, I don't want anything to do with you. If you didn't get this, I don't want anything to do with you. Well, if you believe in this. And I think it's just so close minded where I think there's a lot of beauty and power in finding our people, finding people with like minded, like hearts, like goals. But at the same time I think we've got to continue to grow from people that aren't allowed like us. Because some of the best years I've had coaching were the hardest years for me and in the moment sucks the most to be transparent because I was with coaches I didn't agree with or not even X's nose about how they treated people. And in a moment it really was a hard thing to go through. But it helped solidify my why. It helped solidify why I coach, why I am the way I am. So I think it is powerful and it is important to find our people and connect and grow with them. But at the same time be open to learning from people that are not on the same wavelength or page or mindset to continue to grow from them and sometimes learning from them new things or just learning, hey, that's, that's why I am doing what I'm doing today. So I don't ever become like that. Does that make sense?

Oh yeah. I think that's a really good distinction. And so where my people comes from is like, for example, let's say you're, you're gonna run a marathon, you know, and let's say you have really supportive and encouraging friends, but they don't run. It's really hard to run the marathon, you know, with just those supportive and encouraging friends. You kind of need to be around runners in order to do it in a way that's good or just another example, I joined Toastmasters recently and there's something really special about being with other people that also want the same thing as you and it actually gives you a safe place to fail. But I think there's a good thing to add to that in what you just said of also being around people that want different, that, that have open viewpoints and different viewpoints and, but are open to talking about it and to be so black and white and polarized in the way they think. I think that also is another way of my people because you want the same thing which is be able to be open to diversity and open minds and, and things like that and be able to have discussions of difference of opinions.

Yeah, and I, I love, I love the analogy. See, I wish you left with that. It would make me sound a lot smarter. But the, the analogy about Runners, that's, that makes perfect sense because you do want to have, you know, I, I guess people that will support you in your dreams and your goals and not try to sway you to live a certain way. That's not going to help you achieve those goals.

Yeah. And now that, that leads us to the last letter. Are you ready? Okay. So we are on the letter E, which is educate. And this is really cool because you've talked about this a lot, where you're learning from other people, learning from different things, and you've even talked about you recently found Simon Sinek and learned his why. So that kind of shows how expansive you are with thirst for knowledge and things like that. I know you do this with the team by learning from watching video and tape and all that stuff. But the new distinction that I came up with recently, I had interviewed someone that had gone through the program Al Anon. It's like a 12 step program. And she said her biggest way of educating is when she gets to learn it, but then also educate others because then you're able to be a mentor to other people. So there's two steps to educate. There's educating yourself by keeping an open mind and learning all these things, but then also being able to educate others, even if you're only three steps ahead of them, because then you're learning more in the process and then you're also powering through that, that piece of being able to contribute to other people.

Yeah, yeah. I think, you know, I do that in the classroom often with our fourth graders, when I will, for math, for example, when we do a lot of subjects, once I introduce a certain concept, I'll then ask for some volunteers who can come up and solve the next problem. And I literally, I'll literally sit in my chair and say, you be the teacher right now. And they get a kick out of that. And sometimes you see them disciplining the class or you hear them use certain terminology or words that I use as a teacher. And we do it with our football players where I'll say, hey, look, just yesterday we installed this display. We ran through it a few times. Who's willing to come up here and draw it and talk through it? I think the whole new level of knowledge and awareness, when you know something, that's great, but when you know well enough to explain it to others, that's a whole new level. And I think it shows a lot of humility when someone's brave enough to say, yeah, I'm going to teach this to my teammates or to my classmates. Realizing that they're not an expert in it yet, but they're brave enough to go up there. And I love when I have. It happens once again with my elementary school students and with the high school student athletes, where sometimes they will volunteer to teach their teammates or classmates something. And midway through, they just look at you like, I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm like, all right, well, let's work through it. And you can see them like, breathe, like, all right, I'm not doing this alone. Mr. Hines or Coach Hines didn't call me up here to fail. But we're going to go through this together. And then praising them publicly and then privately maybe having another conversation saying, hey, I love your transparency. I love your willingness to come out there and try that even though you don't think you did a good job, you empowers on your teammate or classmates. You had the willingness to come up here and try that. I think that's huge.

So good. Well, I would love to hear what your number one piece of advice is for the listeners on doing the thing.

Doing the thing. Find. Find out what you're passionate about first and foremost. And I realize for a lot of people that that itself is an overwhelming and daunting thing, because I think there are a lot of people, I don't want to say our age. I think I'm older than you, but my age, that. That don't know what they want to do. And I think so often, what do we say to high school juniors and seniors? Oh, what do you want to go to college for? What do you want to do with your life? It's like, Paul, I'm trying to get through today. Like, I'm trying to navigate just walking down the hallway and keeping my head up or whatever it may be. I think, you know, my advice is, find out what you're passionate about. And if you don't know what you're passionate about, that's okay. Find people who seem like they love life and just spend time with them. Find people who are passionate about life and just ask to go grab a coffee with them or grab a drink with them or grab lunch with them and just get to know them. Because I think too many people think we have to graduate high school and you have to go to college. Graduate college. You better get married soon because you're going to start your life. And one of my biggest pet peeves, when I hear parents teaching or coaches say, oh, wait till so and so gets in the real world. Listen, my fourth graders, this is the real world. They're not promised tomorrow. They may not be 18 years old someday. They may not make it to 25 or 35 or 45. But I think allowing people to be where their feet are. And for me, that's so powerful because it paints a visual in my mind. If I'm on a football field, be on that turf. Be there the stresses of a job at school or when I have to get done at home or whatever else is going on, that'll be there when we're done. But be where your feet are. When I'm in the classroom, be the best dang teacher I can be. When I'm at home, be the best husband I can be and the best father or grandfather I can be. But then find out what you're passionate about and learn from other people. Seek mentors and just enjoy the process.

So good. And please share where everyone can follow along with you and your journey.

Yeah. One thing I appreciate, Stacey, you have me on all social media. Coach Kurt Heinz K U R T H I N E S I have a website, coachkurthyinz.com I believe. I don't really go to my own website often. I think I should probably. But it's funny. The one thing I'll say about that is my wife, who is my best friend, I'm blessed beyond measure. She, years ago, she made a comment to me one time, and not in a derogatory way, but I was responding to someone. We were heading out to brunch somewhere and I said, hey, give me one second. I just want to respond to this message. And we were in a rush, we weren't late, and I sent a quick response to this individual. And while we were eating, my wife said, you know, you don't have to respond to everyone. And I looked at her, I was like, well, I don't have to, but why wouldn't I? Like, if someone cares enough to reach out, why wouldn't I? And for me, that's been such a beautiful thing. I make sure it doesn't come in the way of our relationship and I make sure it doesn't, you know, ever hinder what we're creating together as a couple. But I think the world, now more than ever, especially the past few years, is just starving for genuine relationship. And sometimes it's with our best friend that we spend most of our time with. Sometimes it's with a friend from high school that we only talk to online or whatever it is. And sometimes it's with someone that we've never met. But I think whenever you get a chance to connect with people, whether it's through a podcast like this or in person, do that. Because life's short and these opportunities don't come along as often as people think they'll be.

So good. Thank you so much for coming on and talking to me today. I really. I really appreciate it. It's been such an honor to get to see you through the eyes of my daughter, the team, and. And then now also get a chance to talk to you and have this conversation.

Yeah, no, thank you. I. I really appreciate it. And when. When you put this out there, whether it's on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, whatever, if you want me to share it as well, I'd be more than happy to. And I love having Avery on the team. She really is an amazing kid. So you're doing a lot, right?

Thank you.

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