Crystal Wiecken: Volunteering. Taking Pictures With Strangers. Giving Out Your Number. Discover How These Spontaneous Dating Dares Launched Crystal Out Of Her Comfort Zone

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So. All right, guys, we've had a really fun 17 days of the do the Thing dating dare challenge, and I have our first. First guest talking about the challenge with me, and she's just someone that I've really enjoyed seeing all the comments that she's had in the group, and she's been our community champion for several.

Several.

Actually. You had it several times, huh?

I think two or three weeks. Yeah.

Yeah. And so it's been. It's been such an amazing process seeing her not only overcome the challenges herself, but then also support the other people in the group and helping them overcome the different errors. And so I'm so excited to introduce Crystal Weekend to the show. Hi, Crystal.

Hello. How's everybody doing?

Good. I'm so glad that you are here and you are willing to take this step and talk to me about the challenge.

This is all new for me. I have never done a podcast before, so.

Yeah, I love being your first. I feel like I'm excited that you're here, and I'm your.

Your.

Your guinea pig interview.

I'm excited to be here, too. Cool.

Why don't we start off and you can just kind of tell everyone about you and. And then we'll go into, like, why you decided to take on this challenge.

Okay. Well, I am 47. I've been married twice. Just got divorced. Right. About a year ago. Moved completely away from everybody I know except for my mom, who happens to be here in this tiny little town. Not super tiny, but it's 10,000 people. So when I arrived in this town a year ago, I knew exactly three people, and I've since kind of grown that quite a bit by creating a Facebook group where we just go out and we do fun things together. It's just a group of ladies that I met through hiking and call it the Sip and sisters, and we go out and do fun things together. So I've. I've gotten A lot of new girlfriends and stuff, but I don't really know any men here on the mountain, so. Or I kind of wanted to do this challenge to get me out of my comfort zone and get meeting some people of the opposite sex rather than all the girls that I'm always hanging out with.

Yeah. Were those the girls that you posted in the group? I think it was Dare one with the. You guys went to Moab and you.

Yes.

Oh, cool. I love that post. It was, like, such a great way to start the challenge, and I actually have it written down because it was so inspiring. It was. If you can't create that energy yourself, find a tribe that will help you create it.

Yeah, they're great. Absolutely wonderful people. And I'm so, so lucky that I just kind of randomly met these people on a hike one time and signed up for their group. And it's just been really great getting to know all of them over the last year, so. Yeah.

And actually, yeah, I'm glad that you brought it up, too, because let's stay there for a minute, because I think a lot of people don't realize how easy it is to create that, like, community with people that you don't know. And so, pretty much, what happened? Like, how did you even get to that hike in the first place?

Well, I had been, because I'm a big hiker. I do a lot of hiking. I do a lot of trip hikes where I'm going for multiple days. So I didn't know anything about the area. I literally had visited this place three times before I moved here. So I was just kind of on Facebook checking out different hiking groups and stuff, and I ran across this one that I had signed up for, and I wasn't really feeling the vibe with them. Like, they were picking hikes that were going around city parks and stuff like that. And I was like, that's not my tribe. And funnily enough, the lady who started the group that I'm in now, she was feeling the same. She was like, this is not my tribe of people. They're. You know, when it gets muddy, they're going, ooh, I don't want to go out there. And so she started this other group, and I picked up on it right away, and I just kind of. I stalked them for a while because I was. I don't have time. I just moved into my new house. I'm doing all this housework and changing locks and installing security and doing all the things that new homeowners do. And finally, on Labor Day weekend, of last year. I was like, I'm just gonna go because I have an extra day in my weekend. I'm just gonna go do it. And so I went on this hike. I'd never met this lady before. She's 75 years old. And she picked me up and drove me over to this, this hike that I'd never done before. And it was just really cool talking with her throughout the day. And then she was like, you have to come next weekend. And I was like, okay, I'll try. And she's like, no, come next weekend. I was like, okay, okay, okay. So after I met the founder of the group, I was kind of hooked at that point because these two ladies, one of the. So the founder is 65. She is currently on a trip around the country visiting all of the national parks. She just bought an RV and decided to travel around and do that. So I'm just so blessed that these, like, super adventurous women that I have to look up to are in my town and my good friends now.

So, yeah, when you're around people like that, then it inspires you to do more of it. And so there's something really special about that.

Absolutely.

Can you share for the listeners, I don't know if you remember what you put for that dare, but pretty much just share that experience because I do think there's something really cool about that lens since you guys were together and celebrating and what you did with the calendar and things like that.

Absolutely. So the same lady I was just talking about, the 75 year old, she's very outgoing. And we were hiking. There was a group of six of us that went up to Moab, we got hotels for the weekend. And we went out on this hike first thing the next day after we got there, and we were kind of taking selfies and trying to get all six of us in the picture. And this gentleman goes, comes by and he says, do you want me to take your picture? And we were like, okay. So he, he stands off, he takes our picture, and then we start looking him up and down. We're like, he's about Don's age. So we're like, why don't you take a picture with Don? And so we, we took, we had them take a picture together. And that just sort of snowballed into this, like, oh, let's let dawn take pictures with all the cute guys on the trail. So we had a manager who would go out and find the guys. We had a PR person who would make sure that, like, she wrote down their names and that they were complicit to this, that they were okay if. If we publish their picture. And, you know, it was just. It was just so much fun. Like, we would. We would just sit there at the table as we're having lunch. You go, how about that one? Okay. And then the manager lady would run over and grab him and say, here, come take a picture with our friend.

I love that, because it's such a fun way to meet people that you wouldn't have met otherwise.

Absolutely. So some of the people that we met there were two guys from Spain who were rock climbing this giant sphere, and we were watching them from down, way down below on the hike, and they climbed all the way up to the top, and they stood on this thing that's like 2ft square and held their arms out to their sides, and we were like, oh, my gosh. And I'm taking pictures of them and everything. And by the time we got back to the trailhead, they had gotten back as well. And we were like, were you those guys that were up there? And they said, yeah. And so we took a picture with them. And so my friend Don was, oh, I'm 75, and you're half my age or whatever. And he goes, love has no age. I just love that. And then we also met a BASE jumper. So there was a whole group of BASE jumpers that were there, and we just picked one of them out and said, here, come take a picture with our friend. And so he was telling us all about the BASE jumping that they had just been doing. And, I mean, really, really great. Just to just randomly pick people and hear their stories.

Yeah, it's so cool. And you had a goal, and you obviously set up an implementation strategy with all the different roles, you guys, I love it. That's so cool. And so. So your big goal for doing the do the Thing Dating dare challenge was to get out of your comfort zone. And then we talked about growth initially, too, and to grow, basically. And I was just wondering, so, well, first of all, let's just see. How did it go for you?

It's been crazy. Amazing. Honestly. I started out the challenge okay, we'll see how far I can stretch my comfort zone. And I had been chatting with this gentleman for. Since, like, April, I think, and just kind of random back and forth. Nothing anything serious or anything. And one of the challenges was to volunteer for an event. And so I had seen this thing for our local Renaissance fair that they were looking for volunteers. And so I called them up, and I said, hey, are you still Looking for volunteers. And she said, oh, my gosh, yes. I was like, can I do that? I know it's like two days from now, but she goes, yes, please come down and I'll figure out what we can do for your garb or the costume that they wear. And so I went down and I. She picked something out for me. And I went so far as to post it on my Facebook page, because this guy is one of my Facebook friends, and he's like, oh, I'm going to come down. I'm going to bring my kids. I was like, okay, that's fun. We've actually, at this point, we had only met each other in person one, and we'd still been talking and everything, but just not super often. But after he come down to the Renaissance Festival and we saw each other for literally 30 seconds, because I was taking tickets and stuff, this. The speed of that conversation went much further. So it was every day instead of every two or three days. And then we had another. So one of. One of our guest speakers. I don't know what you want to call them, Stacy. But the. One of our folks. Yes, Kate. Was talking about. Yeah, she was talking about how to kind of take conversations deeper because I. I tend to talk to people on a surface level, like, how's your day going? And stuff like that. And so this guy and I were chatting, and I was. I really need to ask, because he's got young kids. I need to ask if their mom is still in the picture, because I need to know. And so I did. And that just kind of spurred all of this, like, more personal, direct contact. And now our messaging went up to three or four times a day or even more some days. So just kind of taking that extra personal level and bumping it up a notch. So now we're to the point where we're actually messaging each other pretty much all day long every day. And had our first phone call yesterday.

So that is so cool. So he. So pretty much when you volunteered for the Renaissance Fair, you invited him. He went. That sort of got you to him to see you maybe at another light. And then you were able to then talk after that and ask him more personal questions where you felt more comfortable after hearing Kate guide everyone on that.

Right. Some of what Dr. Nancy said, too, is, I think I tend to scare people away because I get really intense really fast because I find something I like and I go after it. And this is not just with people. It's with everything in life. So what Dr. Nancy said about, you know, just Letting the universe send you what you need at the moment and just kind of relaxing into it and just letting what happens happen. And I kept myself in that mindset throughout this whole process. Like, I'm not going to go ahead and get married before we've even had our first date, because that's just not smart. So I just kind of have been keeping that mindset and just kind of figuring out whatever comes, comes. It doesn't matter at this point. So.

So how did you get yourself to ask, like, that personal question? Like, what did Kate say that helped you kind of overcome that hurdle where you were able to kind of go there with him?

I think it was. It was just the kind of the idea of. And I don't remember the exact way that she described it, but showing the different levels of conversation, and I don't remember what those levels are. But that kind of. That second level is what felt comfortable to me asking a personal question, but not, how do you feel about that? You know, that level of depth was a little beyond my comfort zone, but kind of getting to that next layer down of opening up, I guess.

And that's why I really picked the experts so intentionally, because I feel like each of them had different pieces that would kind of complement each other. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you mentioned both of them, because I think each one has kind of a thing that really brings an extra piece in to this whole. This whole challenge, for sure. So tell me, how did you feel before you approached the dares? So you would get the dare, and then what would be your reaction?

I think the one that scared me the most was getting or giving my phone number. And primarily because I'm not a flirty person, and I still don't think I'm a flirty person. I just don't even know how to approach it. I'm just like, do you like me? Yeah. So that one scared me the most. But I. I was thinking about it, and I was like, you know, we're messaging on messenger, and there's very little service in certain parts of the town. So I was like, here, here's my number. In case you can't find me, just text me. And I found out, like, three days ago that he somehow missed that message. Anyway.

Oh, wow.

So I had to give him my number again because he's like, I know you said I should call you, but I don't have your number. I'm like, I gave it to you, like, a week and a half ago.

I even hashtag dared you no kidding. And so it's funny you say that, because. So this is something I'm still trying to work out with this whole challenge. It's like how to get someone to understand that even if you do give your number out to someone, they may just say, okay, and just not be interested in the person. And it's almost like trying to figure out how. It's like a muscle, right? You're conditioning yourself to learn that I. Whatever happens with kind of what you said with Dr. Nancy, it's like, whatever happens, it's part of this plan. But then that way, when you are. When you do end up meeting someone that you are attracted to or that the energy feels right, that you're not scared to, like, give your number or ask their number or ask if they're single or one of the other dares that we talked about.

And, I mean, this. It's just. It's amazing, I think, just how everything lined up for me, because I have literally been on three dates since I got divorced, and one of them was sort of hysterical that the guy was messaging my friend at the same time, setting up a date for the same day at the same place, and she and I were sitting across from each other at the table at that time.

Oh, my gosh.

So that was my first date post divorce. Oh, my gosh.

Was it from a dating app?

It was. It was Facebook dating.

Okay, Gotcha.

And then the second guy that I went out with, after over 10 hours of phone calls and two dates, he just up and ghosted me out of nowhere, and I'm like, I have no idea what happened here.

Yeah.

So I probably took myself off of the dating sites at that point, and I was like, well, I've got a lot going on with my hiking and stuff, so I'm just gonna ride it out and see what happens. And if I meet somebody, I meet somebody, but I'm not gonna go out there and attempt to do it.

So I think it's cool, because you saw that you were burning the energy on the dating app. So you're like, I just would rather not do this right now.

I felt worse after using the dating apps than I did before. Like, I felt like I had my life together before I got on the dating apps. And then after, I. I mean, I kid you not, it was like a month, and I was like, gosh, I feel so terrible about myself. I feel like I. I'm just a failure in life, and I'm like, I don't want to feel this way anymore. So. Yeah.

And that's actually something I'm trying to think about too. If I do this challenge again is like, because I know a lot of people were still on the app doing the challenge, and I'm thinking of making, like, it a detox, you know, where people have to, like, get off the app, do the challenge, and then see what happens. Because you are burning so much energy.

On it, it's not good for your psyche. I think you just feel like you're getting turned down at every opportunity. So. I've always been a fairly confident person, and, you know, when I start feeling not confident, I know that, you know, something's got to change.

So definitely. Well, so then. So then you would. So basically you would look at the dare. That one, the phone number one was the hardest one. But then how did you get yourself to actually, like, still ask for it? Like, what did you say to yourself to get you to do it?

Honestly, it was a. I'm going to type this in here and hit send before I start second guessing myself. Oh, yeah, because it. It just. If I start second guessing myself, I go, you know what? No, maybe I shouldn't do that. Maybe that's too forward. Maybe that's. Maybe he's not really interested in me in that way or whatever. But if I. If I start second guessing myself, it's a big problem.

And then how do you think you would feel? So now, let's say, okay, so this situation's over, like, in terms of let now you do it again with someone else, and they're not. And they're not as interested as this guy, how do you think you would feel about that?

Like, would you be still stretching a muscle that you just, you know and developing a muscle that you just don't have? Yeah. I mean, it would feel definitely different. But at the same time, if you're just looking at it as, like an experience, like a learning experience, something that you can, you know, work towards or develop over time, it's sort of like practicing yoga. You have to continue to do it in order to get better at it.

Totally. Oh, my gosh. You just said exactly what I'm like. That is the do the thing formula, you know? Yeah, I really. I think it's so important, and I don't think people realize it either. And it gets easier and easier. I'm just wondering, because what that does is once you. Once you learn how to. Once you develop that muscle, then you really can go up to anyone because you're not. You're not worried about the outcome. You're Almost like realizing people are self selecting themselves so they're making your life easier.

Right, right.

Kind of thing.

The universe has thrown this person in front of you. Do with it what you will. Right?

Yeah, totally. And then it's cool too because you have that almost that reference of when you were out with your girlfriends and you guys did the hike and you met all these cool people and it's like people could have said no to you then. Right. But you guys still were able to get. You got caught up in that energy and the excitement and the fun and the goal to not really care what people said.

Another funny story about that is the very last guy that we asked for a picture, I mean, all the rest of the guys were just like, okay. And they stand there and smile. This guy rips off his shirt and says, yeah. And he's, he's like pasty white, little bit flabby, and we're just like, well, we didn't ask you to take your shirt off.

Oh my gosh, that's hysterical.

And his good looking friend that was with him was like, I'm not taking my shirt off. Did you talk about jumping into the moment? He was just like, yes, let's do this.

Right?

Yeah.

Did you guys, did you take the picture of both of them or what?

Did you. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you did.

Absolutely.

So cool. That's so cool. Yeah. I mean, you almost have like a reference, visual. Well, a really visual reference. Going after something that you want. Yeah. So then after the dares, what, how did you feel? So like when you went into the dare and you're like nervous and you're scared and you're doing, I call it the three second roll. I mean, it's not me, it's like a thing. I think like you have to do it quickly. Right. Otherwise you're going to change your mind and then you do it and then how would it feel afterwards?

It felt like I accomplished something, like I got past a block of some sort. So every time that I did that, it felt a little easier to do it the next time around.

Oh, it did. Okay, cool.

Yeah.

So pretty much by dare, like 15, you were like, okay, I already know what I'm doing kind of thing.

It was a little easier to work through that. So, I mean, there were still some things that I struggled with, but you just kind of do what you can and push yourself as far as you can out of that comfort zone and see what good happens from it.

And what do you think was the hardest part for you as you were.

Approaching this Figuring out how to do it. As I said, I live in a small town. There's not a lot of opportunity for going to a bar or there's bars. It's not like there's not bars. It's that a lot of them are very family friendly bars and people are married with their children around. And so it makes it a little harder to find the people who might be single out of all of that. So when I started thinking about it, more of the like, let's meet someone. It doesn't matter who they are. It was a little easier. I could buy my friend a drink and somebody could see that and say, oh, that's cool. Yeah.

So you're almost just like. It's almost like that celebration kind of mindset that they talked about in the panel episode where people are caught up in the excitement. If you're doing something for someone else.

Absolutely.

And then how was the accountability part in it? Because that was the part I still think I need to work on if I do this again. I was just curious how that was.

Sue was my accountability partner and we, we checked in with each other the first few days and then it sort of dropped off from that. But we, we had known each other from the Scottsdale trip, so I think it made it a little bit easier. But I think towards the end she went on the Napa trip, of course, and then I didn't go on that. And so she and Natalie were doing a lot of those, those dares together at that point. So what do you think? They didn't actually make it through the last like three or four of them, but I will still probably do them. I just didn't get them on the, on the timeframe. Yeah.

And actually I kind of knew that people were that last couple. Cause it was, it was so back to back. So that's where I think you guys will have the whole week to finish up whatever finished up. So that'll be.

And bigger things too. Not just like, how do you feel about this?

You know, I know it was designed to make it harder.

Right.

Well, that's interesting. We'll have to. You have to let me know what you think after those were done. Just cause I'm taking, you know, I'm really interested to what, what could it be improved to? What do you think could help for the future for accountability?

I honestly don't know. I sort of feel like it was a little too rushed. Almost like maybe every two or three days a new dare rather than every day. Because I think people would just get behind Maybe. And then not feel like they could continue or something. Yeah.

Almost feel like they're too behind to. To get it, Keep it going. That makes sense. I mean, the other thing I was thinking about too is almost giving someone the same thing to do every day and then having them do. But I think they were having different.

People or something, right?

Yeah. Like, part of me is like, gosh, I think they were having fun doing the different ones. But. But also, I hear what you're saying, and that's actually. I mean, that's another. I didn't actually think about that, doing something every couple days, but that was just another thought I had is what could they do every day that would be part of the challenge? So then they feel like they're just doing the same thing, essentially.

What if you did the same dare all week and then the next week it's a different dare.

Oh, maybe making the challenge longer and then so you could do more of those dares, but then. And then you're doing the same dare.

Yeah. So like you would do, give somebody a compliment for all of this week so that you're giving different people compliments and it gets to get you kind of talking to different people. Different kinds of people. Yeah.

I think that's a great idea. And then. So this is kind of funny. I don't think anyone want to know if anyone. But I also. When I did it, you saw how quick everything sort of got pushed out. But did you do any of that daily stuff? Because I had put in that playbook to do the meditation and the reaching out.

I did it like the first three days, I think.

And is there anything with that that you. Do you think I should just take that off of another one? It was that like almost too much all at once, or do you think it should be almost like what you were saying where. Okay, this week we're going to do the meditation every day. This week we're going to add on this type thing.

I think it's just too many things. If it was just do the dare and a meditation.

Okay.

I think that would be a little easier to handle than just do the dare and the meditation and the 20 minutes of self care kind of thing.

That's kind of in line with what I was kind of thinking too. So that's perfect. I was following. I don't know if you listened to Scott Glenn's interview yet. I had just interviewed him. He did the 75 hard program.

Yeah, I haven't heard it yet.

Oh, okay. It's really. He did a really Good job explaining. I'm actually going to do it in August 1st, so I'm saying it on here, so then I'll actually do it.

Accountability.

I know he. It was really good, and the way he explained it was great, but I kind of was trying to follow that model of doing the four things. But I agree. I think that dare, that each. Each new dare probably kind of threw it off a little, so. And then I was curious with you stepping out of your comfort zone with this challenge and how you grew and all that stuff. Like, do you. Have you thought or do you. What do you think about how it might help you in other areas of your life, like with existing relationships and how you might use it in other ways?

I keep going back to this, but I think it just kind of opens you to new possibilities. If you walk into a place and go, okay, what's going to happen today versus, Oh, I don't know. There's people there that I don't know, and there's things that I don't know if I want to be doing. Just walk into a place and go, okay, let's see what happens today.

Yeah, I love that. That's so good. It's such a different mindset than what happens normally.

I think that's the biggest thing I've taken away from this is just don't try to force things. Don't try to mold them into how you want them. Honestly, I probably would have never looked at this guy twice if I hadn't already gotten to know him through a different Facebook group. And he's a photographer, so I. I've been watching his pictures for, like a year. And then I just randomly. He had posted something about spring runoff waterfall, and I was like, man, I want to go take a picture of that. And it was a Tuesday night or something like that after work, and I was like, I just feel like I need to go still. Like, I really want to go out there tonight. And I'm like, I'm going to throw on a little bit of makeup because you never know who you're going to meet when you get out there. And lo and behold, I freaking run into this guy that I've been watching for several months at this point on this page. I had even trolled his Facebook just to see. I'm like, oh, he's cute. How old is he, I wonder. Yeah. So just to have, like. And have that moment where I was, I realized that I think the universe threw him at me for a reason on that particular day.

That's so cool.

And no matter what happens, I'm at least just enjoying the process of getting to know him. So.

And then you get to see, like, how it works. It's just that one step, right. And then it's the next step. And then when it's. You get to kind of see. See that process unfold, and like you said, then. Then it kind of opens up more possibilities for you with other people if it works out that way. So I was going to ask you also, just in terms of the challenge, what would you think about if it was longer? Like, so if it was more consistent with the same thing, would you be open to it being longer, or did you like the fact that it was only 17 days?

I think I would like it longer.

Okay.

Just because I feel we've all got busy lives and I may not be able to fit in something different every day, but if I can fit it in at least once or twice during the week, then maybe that's a little easier for me to. To consume, I guess. Yeah.

No, I like that. That's kind of where I'm thinking. But are you thinking, like, 30 days, 60 days, or any thoughts on that?

I just don't know how many dares that. If you wanted to do the full 17 dares, that would be 17 weeks. Right. If you're doing a whole week for each one, that seems kind of long, but maybe something like 12 weeks, because there's a lot of things that can happen within 12 weeks. I know a lot of fitness programs and stuff are 12 weeks long because it's kind of an optimal time frame for that kind of thing.

Yeah, that's true. And then what do you think? I was trying to decide because, as you saw, I got stuck in Facebook jail for a lot of it.

Yep.

So weird. What do you think about. Did you like it because it was on Facebook, or would you. If I had another platform that there's. I looked into something called Circle that a lot of people use instead of Facebook because of that Facebook jail thing. Would you. Would that be just another thing you'd have to get on?

Or would you.

Would you like to do it somewhere else besides Facebook?

I think it would just be another thing that I'd have to get on. I don't think I do it as much if it wasn't something that I'm already on pretty much all day long anyway.

Right. Yeah. That's actually really good feedback. Okay. And then is there anything else that you think that would help, like, with the challenge or help kind of encourage other people to Actually do the dares.

I wonder if something like a you choose dare, like your accountability partner chooses something for you. Personally, I think that might be kind of fun. Huh. Where they say, huh? I think knowing what I know about you now, I think that you should go buy that guy a drink or something. I think it'd be interesting anyway. It might fall flat, but I think it'd be kind of fun to think about.

Yeah. No, I'm, like, sitting here kind of picturing what that would be. What's coming to my mind is I'm just trying to think of how. How could I best choose. Or how could we best choose the accountability partners? So then they're like, when Scott's talking about in his interview about his partner and their everyday texting, and one day she was even out in the rain until she did her walk or her exercise. And it's like that kind of really strong way. So I'm just trying to figure out how to get that same level of. Of accountability, maybe give.

Maybe set up accountability partners a month or two in advance so that you can get to know your accountability partner.

That's really good.

And that way, you know, I'm on a more personal level rather than just some random stranger that you met on the Internet. Yeah.

And then do you think setting up, like, a zoom call with them all, or do you think what are your thoughts with just that in general, like, how to get that relationship?

I think a zoom call would definitely be a good place to start for people who don't live in the same city or the same state or anything. I know there are some people who live near each other, which could probably work out really well, like you with your friends that were participating. So.

Yeah, I know. It's fun.

I loved watching the dance. Like, nobody's watching. One look at them go, and it.

Showed me it was kind of cool. Right. I don't know if you saw that one video that I posted after, but it was. They were uncomfortable going out there by themselves, but they were fine with me recording them because it was for the dare. They were so hyped up with that adrenaline of the dare.

Yeah.

Then they were like. Then they're like, well, you're in charge of this challenge. You need to go dance. And for me, that is not my thing, like, at all. And so I went out there, and they wanted to record me. And I'm like, there is not a chance that I'm letting you record me, because I was already at the edge of my comfort zone. So it was cool to See, even from my own perspective is. Okay, yeah. Like, I'm really trying to. I'm trying to get you to the edge. I'm not trying to get you to go, like, mortified, you know what I mean?

Right, right.

But I think it really. It was cool because it gave me that really picture of what everyone's going through. Right. Because it's. That's what the hardest part was, is there's some people that are terrified to go to a bar by themselves, then there's others that will talk to everyone when they're there. So it's just. That was the part that was interesting too.

And it's funny because I actually was gonna kind of use some of these things for my group of girls.

Oh, yeah.

So I created this little Facebook page and I was like, oh, we're just going to do a little private Facebook page and we're going to, you know, kind of go through some of these dares and stuff. Not a single soul signed up for it.

Oh, really?

I was like, so you guys really don't want to get out of your comfort zone? They're like, well, we didn't see it so.

Well, maybe they will once you, like, talk to them about it again. It's hard though, right? It is. It's definitely me. It's easier to stay in the. In the box.

Absolutely, absolutely. But once you get out of the box, there's interesting things that begin to happen.

Totally. And then what else do you think could have been better for you?

I can't think of anything off the top of my head, honestly. We kind of talked through some of, you know, the timing and that kind of thing. Maybe knowing the dares ahead of time, possibly because if I had known that there was a dare coming up, like, dance, dance, like nobody's watching, I would have been like, oh, well, I need to plan to go to this concert or whatever on that night.

And that's something I've been. I'm still trying to decide too.

Right.

Because there's part of it that likes that surprise element, like that three second where you don't have much time to really think about it. But then the other part of me is like, as a very prepared, organized person, you know?

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Because I'm like that too.

Would you see it in the playbook, do you think? Because I thought about putting them in there.

I mean, I. I looked through the playbook, but.

So if I put it in there ahead of time, so then people have an idea of what, what's coming that Might be good.

Yeah. And maybe even put spoiler alert or something on it.

I like that. That's good. And then what did you think? Because we had five guys in the group and what did you think about the guys being in there? Do you prefer it being just women or did you like having the male? Because I know a few of them did participate a little bit. Did you have in that or do you prefer, like, all women or do you have any?

I don't think it really matters either way. They definitely didn't participate as much so.

And then what about Peloton specifically? Did you that it was kind of like everyone that rides peloton, or would you care if it was other people in it too?

I think having a group of people that you kind of, sort of know is nice. It doesn't necessarily need to be peloton, but just people that you. That you talk to on certain Facebook groups or. Or whatever kind of makes it a little more accessible. Is the only word I can think of. You want to be able to share things a little bit more and it's safer is. I think that's maybe the word I'm looking for. It's safer to share things with people that you sort of know.

And what about in addition to knowing? So the thing I. You were the one that shared the Rush class, right? I think the Dennis Morton's Rush.

Oh, yeah.

That's kind of the thing that I was like. See, that's why I doing it with just Peloton initially. Right. I was really excited about it because regardless, it wasn't even about dating. But by you sharing that. Then I took the class and I loved it and just. It shows you when you're around people that like the same things as you, how much fun that could be. But then I was also thinking maybe it's not just necessarily Peloton specifically. Maybe it's like personal development. So if they. Because Tony Robbins has a singles group. Joe Dispenza has a singles group. So I was kind of thinking maybe just positive people too.

I think it's maybe just being able to. To talk with people that you sort of. Sort of know a little bit better than just strangers.

Okay. And then did you say are you an introvert or.

I am.

You are an introvert. Okay, so how was that for you being an introvert and then like even just doing the fair? Was it because you had. That you were in the lens of the fair, or how have you been able to overcome that to be. To be more extroverted, essentially?

I'M sort of. I'm an introvert with an extrovert tendency, I think, because I can turn it on when I need to, but it's not my comfort zone. It's something. It's almost like a hat that I wear for a little while, and then at the end of that time period, I take it off and I collapse on the couch and don't talk to anybody for hours.

Yeah.

So I think me being an introvert is a little different from a. A truly introverted person, because nobody ever thinks that I'm actually an introvert. And I'm seriously. I could just sit down and read books and watch TV all day and never ever see another human being, and I'd be fine.

So you're an introvert, but can be an extrovert, but then you get your energy back from being introverted?

Well, and it's funny because I think that I do, but at the same time, like, I come home from. If I go to the office or something, I come home and I'm, man, what a great day it was. And I got to talk to all these people and da, da, da, da, da. I'm like, yeah, I'm more extroverted than I think I am.

Yeah, that's funny. That's so funny. Well, this has been so great. I can't even thank you enough for, number one, just for all the support you've given during the challenge. I think that's such a huge. It's such a huge energy synergy thing, right? When. When you're able to participate in the way that you have, because then I think it motivates and inspires other people, even the people that aren't saying anything. It does motivate, inspire them. And there were a few posts that you did in the group that I was like, literally just kind of made me just feel I'm in the right place at the right time, doing the exactly what I want, because it was, like, completely connecting to what my intention was for even doing this challenge in the first place. So, yeah, for that, I just wanted to thank you for everything.

I have to thank you, too, because, I mean, I told you before offline was this happened at exactly the right time and the right place and exactly what I needed because it's allowed me to stretch and grow myself into, you know, something a little bit more. And. And I think it's just been really great having that. That kind of. That group that understands what's going on and. And being able to chat amongst them. So it's been great.

That's so cool. I'm glad. I'm so glad to hear that. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and I will post some bonus dares for you. So when I'm on vacation, feel free to finish the ones up that have been left over and then do the bonus dares too.

Woohoo.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show, but even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast co or email us@helloothingpodcast.com.