Debb Lins: Explore Why This Therapist Says The Do The Thing Dating Dare Challenge Is More Than Just Finding Love

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So, okay, guys, we're here again. We have another do the Thing Dating Dare challenge participant coming to talk to me. And I actually, it's funny, I used to call these interviews exit interviews, because technically it was an exit interview from them participating in the challenge. And I recently realized that's ridiculous to call it an exit interview. And so I'm changing the name to Celebration Interview because, honestly, when you do a challenge like this, it is a celebration. It's such a huge opportunity to learn about yourself, learn about other people, see where you can grow, and see where even you might be wanting to challenge yourself more. And so, anyway, we have now changed it to a Do the Thing Dating Dare celebration interview. So this will be the first one that I'll be doing since I'm calling it that. So I'm excited about that, and I'm really excited to get to talk to our next guest because she was very engaged in the challenge, and it was always just wonderful getting to see her posts and the things that she was sharing and contributing to the group. And that's what I've really been able to tell everyone that's participating in these challenges is this is just this group and this community that we've built. It's just creating the space for connection. But the people in the group are what make the group. It's by their being involved, their engagement and their contribution and sharing. That's where the magic really happens. It's the glue behind it all. And so, anyway, I'm so excited to welcome Deb to the show. Hi, Deb.

Hello. Hello. It's so nice to be here. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you so much for doing this with me. I really value this opportunity to get to talk to you about just how the challenge went for you and more about you. It helps me really understand you more, get connected to you as a community member, and then also learn about what might have helped and maybe even Things that could be better. So that way, as I do more challenges, it sort of helps expand and evolve as we go.

I love that. I love that. Yeah, that challenge for me was really powerful. I was just coming off a, a period of solitude and it got me out of my comfort zone. It got me out of my shell. And I had just started my own private practice as a therapist just before I did the challenge. And so everything was new to me. I had retired from my full time career in education. I'm starting on this new adventure and I took a leap of faith with that. But you pushed me to the next level, or the challenge pushed me to the next level, to the point where I finally decided to do what I love and to delegate the things that I hate. So I contracted with an insurance biller and she is now taking care of all things insurance, which, oh my gosh, that has opened up my life and my joy of my private practice immensely. I joined three community organizations. I'm a Rotarian and two other local organizations that just really help to build community. I joined a networking group, I joined a peer support entrepreneurs group. And I have met some of the most amazing friends, female friends, who are leveling me up and holding me accountable and being really genuine with me on my journey to heal my trauma, my unhealed trauma. And it has been a whirlwind.

There's so much that I love about this because you had that time of solitude to really reflect on things you want. And then it sounds like the challenge came at the perfect time for you to then kind of step out of that solitude and embrace everything that was coming for you in life.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I. I was just trying to move into this private practice slowly and wasn't sure how it was all going to come together or whether I'd even have a client. You know, I mean, you just kind of have faith. And the do the Dare dating challenge just really allowed me to step out of my comfort zone in so many areas, Loving myself more and being present more and getting out and doing things that I had a little bit of intrepidation to do. And that was really exciting. I'm now at the point where I have a waiting list for clients. I'm not full time because I'm semi retired, which I kind of love because I want to play some too. But I now I'm kind of at the point where I have to decide do I want to work more hours or do I want to reserve time to play and heal and grow and experience life. So it's it's a good place to be.

It's so good. And the idea that you already have a waiting list and then you're not feeling commanded to get after those clients to work more hours and you're actually taking that moment of reflection, I just think that's a huge lesson for everyone, is because I say this a lot, I was somebody that constantly was running toward whatever was coming at me. Right. And feeling like I had to take it on at the expense of myself. And something that I'm really trying to do with this podcast because with a podcast called do the Thing, people could think I'm saying, do the thing, do the thing. And I realized over the year that I've been doing it. It's so much more than do the thing. It's doing the thing out of alignment for you. It's taking time to really identify what do you want? Not because someone else says, oh, you should be working full time or you should be taking all these clients or you should blah, blah, blah, you should people. You know, it's really what do I want and what do I want to do? And taking the time to really identify that.

Absolutely, yeah. I'm really looking at what brings me joy and reducing those things in my life that don't bring me joy. And just really do what you're saying. Do what is aligned to where I'm at in my life. And that's a whole new way of operating for me because I was much like you. I was just taking care of others and helping others and giving, giving, giving, and my cup was empty and I didn't know how to say no. So putting boundaries into place and then saying yes to the things that really excite me and intrigue me is game changing, really life changing.

What do you think helped you get that distinction?

I think that the do the Thing challenge really made me look at how sometimes how small we make our lives and we don't do something because it's new or it's different or we're a little uncomfortable. And it, it just, it gave me enough practice in those few weeks that we were together to say, I can do this and even if it's uncomfortable, I can celebrate after it's over that I did it and I'm better for it. And so that's kind of how I'm living my life today. I just got back from a three day trip to Door county here in Wisconsin and beautiful weekend. I went with one of my new female friends and we had such amazing conversations and we're both strong Assertive women. So we butted heads, and instead of deciding we couldn't be friends because we weren't always getting along, we had these really amazing conversations, kind of processing where she was and where I was and what that means for us and where we're trying to grow. And I've never had this kind of a friendship before, so I'm so excited and so appreciative.

That's so great, because I think you're right. A lot of people will get into some kind of conflict and think, okay, well, I don't think they're going to be a good friend anymore. Instead, you took it as an opportunity to go towards the conflict and figure out a way to connect through that.

What.

What do you think helped that expand?

Well, I'm reading Attached, which is part of the do the Dare Challenge. I haven't been with the book club. Unfortunately, I wasn't a reading at the same time. But Attached has really kind of opened my eyes about some of the reasons that I respond the way that I do in relationships. And I just decided I didn't want to respond those ways anymore. I wanted healthier. So I took a year off of online dating in. In December. So I've got until December of 20, 20, 23 to date. So I'm not actively looking for the love of my life. I know he's out there. He just has to figure out how to find me. But in the meantime, I want to have an awesome life and I want to heal the parts of me that are still responding from a wounded place. And I think that do the Dare Challenge help me to realize that I have everything I need to do, that I can read books, I can. I can see a therapist. I can make good friends. I don't have to sit and be the same way I've always been. I don't have to respond the way I've always been. I now feel empowered because I got out of my comfort zone and tried some new things and survived and celebrated. I now can do things that I wasn't sure I could do. And I've got chills just. Just sharing that with you. It's a beautiful place to be. So next month, I'll be celebrating my 62nd birthday. And so to. To get to 62 years old and finally feeling okay in my own body and with who I am and what the potential of the next chapter of my life is, is just really beautiful.

My purpose of this whole challenge, because a lot of people can look at it from the outside and say, oh, it's a dating challenge. I don't want to date or I don't like dating or whatever they're going to say. But this wasn't. When I designed it, it was meant to get people off the dating app for a period of time. That is true. And to learn how to meet people in the wild and out by them doing fun things in life, not just waiting on their couch for someone to meet with them. But it's really that growth challenge and personal discovery and learning about yourself and learning what risks you can take and how that feels in your body, flexing that muscle of discomfort and seeing that you don't die on the other end of it. I love the way you're able to share what this was for you, because it really speaks to what my intention was when I designed it in the first place.

Well, I can tell you that it hasn't just impacted me. It is impacting my clients because I'm different in the way that I do therapy with my clients because of this challenge. I'm more open and encouraging and. And challenging and healthy ways for my clients. But also my friends, my. My true friends, my new friends are. They're. They're stepping up and they're joining me on this platform of let's be brave and let's try new things and let's see where it goes. And I can't tell you how good that feels. I mean, I wake up every morning and I'm just really grateful because adulting is hard, and single adulting is hard. And when you change your attitude, when you change your outlook and you decide, I can do this every day is not going to be perfect, but I can love something about every day and I can love myself where I am in those days. Wow. I wish I would have had the do the dare challenge in my 20s. My life would have been very different.

Yeah, it's almost that thing. I always say that whenever I do something. I just recorded a people pleaser episode with Dr. Nancy D' Andrade, and I just published it a few days ago, if you want to check it out. But I was telling her as we were going through the interview, man, if I could have only heard this when I was in my 20s or my 30s or my fort, you know, like, I wanted to hear it then, but then, then I remember. I don't know if I would have heard it in the same way or taken to it in the same way as if I heard it now. So I think it's probably the same thing. It was the perfect time for you to get into it. And now people are benefiting not just you, but other people, which is really, really amazing.

Right? Absolutely. And I agree with you. There's this readiness factor and some of us have to take the scenic route till we're ready. And that was me. And I'm ready. I'm excited. I'm leading a women's empowerment workshop in a couple of weeks and I've offered workshops before and nobody has signed up. So last summer I offered a workshop and nobody signed up. Well, now people are signing up and it's kind of that alignment thing again. And I'm so excited to be able to touch people in a different way than as a therapist, but just as someone who's, who's sharing knowledge and, and lifting each other up. I just beyond thrilled.

Yes. So that's really interesting in terms of you having that the workshop set up and then no one showed up, but then you were able to overcome whatever that was to get it again. Did, do you know what you said to yourself or did that got you to be able to do it again and not make a story out of it? The first one. Not having it be successful.

Yeah. So I've been networking, I've been talking to people at the Rotary Club, other entrepreneurs in town that offer workshops and seem to be successful. Workshops or classes or, or whatever seem to be successful. And we've, we've kind of started to share out each other's offerings. So not just one person marketing, but several people marketing. And I mentioned it to a couple of my neighbors just when I was out walking my dogs and they're like, oh, I didn't know you offered workshops like that. I would like to come. And so I'm realizing I'm not talking to the people I see every day about what it is I do. And so why not, why not invite them if they might have an interest and if they don't, great. But if they do or they know someone who they could share the information with, that would be great. So I think my next door Neighbor and her 12 year old daughter and her mother are all going to be coming to my workshop. So I'm really excited to have three generations of women in this empowerment workshop. So it's going to be really cool.

That's unbelievable. That is so cool. So do you, do you mind sharing what it is?

Yeah, we're just going to do creating a vision for your year, your 2023 and a lot of people do the New Year's resolutions in January and then they fall off their new year's resolutions. So we're going to talk about what word is is leading you through 2023. My word for 2023 is unstoppable. And then what that means for you and how you would like to see that roll out. And then we're going to create either electronic or actual physical vision boards with motivation for carrying you through this year. So just really empowering women to envision what it is they want to bring into their life. And then what does that look like? And just having a conversation around it with other women who are being vulnerable in the same space. So I'm really excited about it.

Sounds amazing. I'm actually thinking we might want to talk about this being something we can do in the do the Thing singles community and maybe doing a challenge out of it.

Oh, I love it. I love it. I got chills again. I want to tell you about something else that I've been doing. So part of my vision for this private practice was I wanted to connect with local veterans. My dad was a Korea era Korean War veteran. He was stationed in Japan in the Air Force, as were a couple of my uncles. One of them brought back a Japanese bride who was just a loving aunt, and she recently passed with cancer. And so we went through the hospice process together. And I had a chance about a decade ago to go on the honor flight to the World War II monument in Washington, D.C. with two World War II veterans from Wisconsin. And it was by far the most amazing day of my life. And so when I opened up this office, I started inviting local vets to come and have coffee with me on the first and third Friday of the month. And so I offer them coffee, tea, hot chocolate. Sometimes my next door neighbor, who's 14 and loves to bake, will make me scones or muffins. And so I sit here with veterans from a variety of eras and we just talk about whatever's on their mind. It's not a therapy group. It's just coffee and conversation. And before the dare, I would have two or three veterans come in. Now I'm at the point where I might have to find a bigger venue because my veterans are coming. And it's just beautiful, the organic conversations. When one of them is having a hard time, the others circle the wagons and offer support. It's just beautiful. And so now I've reached out to the local county veterans office and I've been invited to be a board member on their foundation to provide guaranteed loans to veterans. And I mean, it's just growing and it's it's just a really exciting passion that has blossomed. So that's kind of fun, too. Yeah.

That's amazing. And it sounds like you really got intentional about being able to have these organic conversations and to be able to connect differently, deeper, more meaningful conversations. I'm curious, you were saying how the challenge helped with that. I'm curious if you remember anything that made that work for you.

Well, I started to go to the American Legion. They have a happy hour on Friday nights. So I started to go and take my little invitation cards, and I started to just have conversations with people that were there, which is out of my comfort zone. You know, I'm going to a bar. I don't know anyone. I'm not a veteran. I am a daughter of a veteran. So I could actually be in the auxiliary for the American Legion, which, again, is another thing I'm considering. But I have to not do too much. But it was. Sometimes I didn't have the courage to go around the bar and talk to people. But as I was leaving, walking towards the door, putting my coat on, I would grab a few cards out, and I would talk to the people that were sitting closest to the door, and it was just really, really empowering. So then I got information about other places where veterans meet and how can I get connected with those people. And so the more I tell people what my passion is, the more they say, hey, Deb, there's a veterans job fair in a nearby town this Saturday. Just want to let you know in case you want to go there. And so it's that kind of thing. It's getting out of my comfort zone, because, truth be told, I'm a very shy person, But I have forced myself to be an extrovert. But it still comes at a cost. I still have to really gear up when I go out and I network with people, especially in a bar setting. That can be uncomfortable as a single person, but it's getting easier. So my goal is to go once a month at least, to just connect with people there.

Yeah. What I'm hearing is by you doing the thing right, the more you're talking to people, the more you're telling them what you're passionate about, the more that's expanding, and then they're elevating it because then they're thinking about you as. As new things come up.

Absolutely, Absolutely. So what. What happened then was the commander of the local American Legion shared with me his mailing list of members. And so in December, I sent out emails to a number of those people, and so they keep calling and they keep coming. So it's fun. It's really fun. And I know I need to expand because right now I'm only reaching the veterans who are not working on Friday mornings. And so there's a whole other group of veterans that I'm not connecting with it. And so I have to think about that. But again, I have to not expand too quickly and do too much. So I'm trying to remain semi retired and love what I'm doing, but not do it to the point where I'm so overwhelmed that I'm not having fun.

Yeah, I still. Every time you say that, I love it because I think it can be so easy to get caught up in whatever you're doing, especially when you love it. I find it with this podcast. There's times sometimes when I'll schedule four interviews in a day because I love it so much, but then exhausted, and I'm like, what are you doing? And then I have to take some time to reset. And it's really important to me, especially as I'm sharing this message, that people understand that I am all about work ethic and sweat equity. And, I mean, I live my life with that. But not letting it exhaust you to the point where you're getting depleted from it.

Absolutely. And I'm good for that. I'm. I'm kind of a. An all or nothing kind of gal. And so I go all in. And then I realize I don't have enough capacity to do all the things I want to do to the level of quality that I want to do them. So I have to be more selective about where I put my energy.

Yeah. How do you. How do you decide? What's that look like for you?

I think. I think part of it is being present, practicing mindfulness, and checking in with myself about, how does this feel? Where are you at? Can you handle adding 10 more clients to your week? Can you handle opening up another veterans, whatever that might look like, coffee or support group or social gathering? And do I have to do it alone or do I network with another business? Like, I have a couple of businesses in town that do creative projects. They have studios where they do creative projects. Could I network with them to do some art projects, some creative projects with veterans and not have to carry the whole load by myself, but still be involved and still make it a safe place for them because they've met me and now they're going to this new space and trying something new. Would they come? I don't. I don't know if they would come, but I, they definitely won't come if I don't invite them, if I don't process this and talk to those business owners and see if we can collaborate. So I've got to do the thing.

Yeah, and this is another huge thing you're doing because you're taking this time as you're doing the thing to reflect on what you want. You're figuring out a way that you can do it all where you can still have what you want and the outcome like the North 4 star, which is helping them, but then not to have it deplete yourself. So that's when now you're adding this delegation piece. Which part can I outsource and which part can I collaborate so that I can still get the same result? Whereas if you were in the fire and you weren't self reflecting, you probably wouldn't even be growing as much. I almost think this is going to help it go even more because you're thinking more deeply about it and I.

Would agree with you. And I'm brainstorming with other people so that I get more views than just my own, so that I'm considering. This art creative project thing didn't come from me, it came from my meeting with the county veterans office and just brainstorming with three other people there. And I was like, oh, that's a great idea. So just the more you talk about what you're passionate about or what you're, what you're doing, you know when I tell my friends, my new leveled up friends that I'm trying to heal old wounds that are keeping me stuck, they're like, oh, tell me more about that. I want to do that too. I've got my own stuff I need to deal with and I'm just loving. The more transparent I become, the more people are saying, yeah, I'm there with you and I want to walk this journey with you, and I'm kind of like, wow, this is so cool.

I actually interviewed, his name is Niyama Shang. He runs the Outliers Edge podcast and he talks about it in a way of you're almost co creating when you get to speak things out loud. Because other people are getting excited about it too.

Yes, absolutely, Absolutely. So this weekend, when I went to this three day weekend up in Door County, I went snowshoeing with my new friend for the first time in my life and we were leaving on Friday and I hadn't reserved snowshoes and so I stopped at the local St. Vinny's store and there was A pair of snowshoes and poles and I just took the leap of faith and bought those that package and I had so much fun. I can't wait to go again.

So when you're about to do something new that you haven't done yet, especially coming from that introverted stake, how do you talk yourself into it?

That's a good question. This year is different because I know that I want to be different by the end of 2023. So I know that this is my year to be open and vulnerable and share pieces of my story that I don't share with anyone. I'm very private about my own story. I guess I'm just in a place where there's nothing I'm going to do that's going to be harmful or illegal or damage my professional reputation. So why would I sit at home and not do it? What if it's something I love, like the snowshoeing? What if it's an opportunity to get out and meet more like minded people, which is what I'm looking for. I'm looking for my tribe and they're not going to walk up my sidewalk and knock on my door and say, hey, Deb, we're looking for a new friend or we're looking for a new snowshoer or we're looking for someone who loves dogs. I have to go out and make myself present in those spaces. The people that I met in Door county this weekend, the shop owners and the people at the wineries that we went to and the leader on the trolley ride that we went on, the man who drove the sleigh in the snow, we just had some, just amazing conversations. I wouldn't have done that six months ago. I'm just pushing myself out. I'm telling myself it's a little risk for a potential big gain and let's just do this, Deb. Let's just live life fully. And so that's what I'm doing.

I love that. For the people in the group that are still not able to go to a bar by themselves, I have several that have told me that's still an issue. And the reason why I mentioned this, because it's something you've said that you did and I think it helped you expand because then it connected you to even on the veteran side through this. So I don't know if people actually think as big as what you're saying. Just even being able to go to a bar to yourself has done. I'd love to have you give them advice because to me it's not just going to a bar. Obviously, if you don't drink, that's not where you want to go. So as you guys are hearing this, think of the bar as whatever you're inserting blank over the thing that you want to do that you haven't done yet. But the thought is, there's so many people that are waiting, waiting for someone to go with them to this thing, or waiting for that perfect moment. And that's why, to me, this is important, because you don't have to wait. Once you can do everything on your own, the party's basically following along with you. And I was just kind of wondering if you had advice for people on this as well.

Sure. So I have been doing something called Date Night with Deb. So I make it a practice that every Friday night, I go somewhere new. Oftentimes it's a restaurant by myself. And if they have a bar, I tend to sit at the bar and eat and talk to the people around me. Sometimes there's no one around me. Sometimes they're engaged in their own conversations, and I just sit there. And eventually someone, the bartender or someone will say a few things. And some days that's all it is, is just getting out, enjoying a good meal, having a few smiles and a few laughs, and going home and saying, I did it right. And that's how I started. I didn't go to the bar and walk around and talk to potential veterans initially, because that was scary. But having something to talk to them about was a little bit more comforting. Knowing that I was inviting veterans to coffee gave me a purpose to have that conversation. So anything that you're passionate about, if you like dogs or if you enjoy snowshoeing or you like to travel, those are great conversation starters with the bartender or the waiter or waitress or the person sitting next to you. And a lot of times, in a small community or a small business, if you talk to the employees about something that you like or an event that's coming up, they will connect you with some of the regulars that are in that establishment to get the conversation going, which is so cool. So you don't have to be there by yourself if you don't want to be. One of the challenges that I give to many of my therapy clients who don't have a voice, and when I say, what I mean by that is they don't have. They're not speaking up. They're not saying yes. They're not saying no. They're just going along with what everyone else is recommending. We Start out with every day. Ask for one small safe thing that you want or need. It's kind of a way of setting a boundary. But ask for one small safe thing that you need. Maybe it's, I don't like the toilet paper to go over the roll. I want it to go under. Or maybe it's, I don't like it when you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, squeeze it from the end. It might be, I don't want peas, I want carrots for dinner. Or it could be something big, like, I'd like to go on a vacation for our anniversary, whatever it is. And then I challenge them to do one big thing that is out of their comfort zone. It might be to wear a new outfit that's been in the back of their closet for a long time and still has the tags on. It might be, I don't know, it could be anything. Could be going over to the local winery and having a glass of wine or picking up a little gift for a celebration that they're going to. It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be life changing. It's just a moment. It's just an opportunity to experience a different view of life, a different space that maybe you hadn't occupied before and see if it fits or not. And if it does, great. If it doesn't, you did it. Congratulations. And maybe next week you'll find something else that fits and you might go back a second and a third time.

Yeah, it's so good. And you're also, by doing that, you're building the confidence up to see that you can follow through with the things that you say you can do and then the things that you want for yourself, too.

Absolutely, absolutely. So a couple of things on my bucket list that I'm hoping to tackle this year, or at least begin, is I want to start a children's book series called Benji and Dylan's Adventures. Benji and Dylan are my rescue dogs I've adopted. And I just want to talk about matters and situations that some of my younger clients experience through the lens of two dogs who are trying to navigate life together. And so I'm excited about that. And then I have a book in my soul. I want to write a book about my experience raising a special needs child and what that's been like. And I found a former boyfriend's adult daughter who is a parent with her own special needs son. We've reconnected after, I don't know, 20 years. And we're going to write this book together about her story and my story and see if it's of any value to anyone. So it's just really exciting, the things that have come up as a part of the do the thing dating challenge.

Well, and I'm excited to tell you, but something that is coming out of the find your voice challenge is one of the community members, Pamela Nichols. One of the dares was to record what book would you write if you were going to write it. Anyway, a lot of people are interested in starting a book and so we're going to do a do the thing start a book challenge sometime in the next month. So I'd love you to join that because it'd be perfect to springboard this too.

I love that. Absolutely. That's exciting.

Yeah. I'm actually announcing it tonight, so I'm telling you first. I haven't told anyone yet. Again, co creating.

Absolutely. I love it.

Yeah. So cool. I'm excited. I'm really excited, actually. Both those books sound amazing and yeah. When you have a lived experience and someone maybe at the beginning, middle or end of that having that same experience can learn and feel a moment of non isolation or getting a shortcut, a hack, or any kind of mindset help, or just the feeling of not being alone, I think it's tremendous. Which is, I mean, what's so powerful about you being able to share that story?

Yeah, I went to a therapist during the pandemic, actually. We did virtual sessions and had three sessions with her. And each time I would tell her a bit of my story. And at the end of the third session, she says, well, you have a lot to unpack. And I was like, okay, maybe I shouldn't be telling people my story. But now I'm telling people my story because I think there's value in being open about what you've experienced and you still can make a difference in other people's lives in your own life, regardless of what you've experienced in the past. It doesn't have to keep you stuck. Yeah.

It's so good. And sometimes when you talk about it, it helps process. And then also by getting to have another person learn something from your story and that piece of the formula, educate, where you're able to help others through things that you've gone through, I think that really helps you even learn more about it. That's what I noticed with this podcast. I'm a kinesthetic learner and so with each interview I actually learn so much more than when I just consume information, when I'm actually involved in it. It's gotten me a whole nother level just from being actively engaged in the actual interviews, if that makes sense.

Absolutely. Totally does. Yeah. I used to be a venter. I used to be one of those garbage trucks that would back up to someone and dump my whole horrible experience, and I don't do that anymore. I'm past the point of needing to talk about my past. I'm all about if something I've experienced is helpful to you, I want to share it with you, but I don't want to dump my stuff on you. I want to learn how to make my suitcase smaller and healthier, and I'll put then my smaller suitcase away until I'm ready to take it out again and work on some more of the stuff. But talking about it in a healthy way and saying, look how far I've come is so huge compared to just venting and dumping your past, your tragedies on someone else. And I love that that has come out of the do the thing challenge as well.

So good. Do you have any thoughts on what part of the challenge really kind of sync it all together? Is there anything that you're like, oh, definitely. Keep doing this. Anything that stands out to you?

Oh, gosh. Everything was great about the challenge. It was fun. It wasn't terribly time consuming, but there was a camaraderie that came from the ability to communicate with each other and take risks in a safe, small space. And then there was the celebrations, and I think that's a huge piece. We often forget that when we're doing new things, we need to be able to celebrate the wins and not worry so much about the perfection and getting it right every time. So I just loved the whole challenge. I can't think of anything I would add.

So good. And what advice would you have for someone that's thinking about doing the challenge and they're on the fence or nervous, what do you think they're gonna get out of it?

I think that you open your life up to just a little bit more opportunity, connection, self confidence. I think the do the dare challenges are not about doing every single dare. It's about doing what you're ready for, to move beyond where you are, and that's the beauty of it. And you have so much support and great people that are there with you to encourage you and to listen and to acknowledge that. Yeah, some of these make me feel a little uncomfortable too. And I remember there were participants that waited till the very end to do some of the very first challenges because it took them that long to have that internal dialogue and that confidence to say, okay, today I'm gonna get dressed up and I'm gonna go do this thing. And then all of this celebration afterwards, I did it. I feel good about it. I've moved forward. And that, that's a beautiful thing when you get out of your own way and you start to really experience life in a different way.

And what would be your number one piece of advice for the listeners on Doing the thing?

I think that if there's a desire in you for more, for different, for new, explore that. Don't let your fears keep you stuck when there are so many opportunities right outside your door. There are people that you haven't met yet. There are friends you haven't made, there are restaurants you haven't eaten in, places you haven't traveled that are just waiting for you to touch those places and bring them to life. So your gift is, we're waiting for that. So dive in and try something, even if it's something little, go for it.

So good. And do you have any place people can follow along with your journey or even maybe get on a future empowerment workshop?

So I have a website for my practice. It's HTTP://www.opening doors together.com. but the two, the to and together is the number two.

Perfect. I'll put it in the show notes also. So if you guys are driving, do not write it down. I love that name. That's a great name.

So good.

Opening doors together. So good.

So, yeah, I also have a Facebook page and I have a. An Instagram account too. So they're out there and I think it's all linked on my website.

Oh, perfect. Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on, Deb. This was so. It was so wonderful to get a chance to talk to you. I'm so glad to hear how much it's impacted you and the things that you're doing. And I'm really excited about now with you having this. It's like you're on fire now and it's spreading to other people. I think that adds a whole nother layer to this too, which is really cool.

I just got more chills. Thank you. This was so fun. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share. We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the thing.callcast co or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.