Debb Lins: Learn Why She Says Small, Incremental Steps Can Lead To Massive Personal Growth

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Okay, guys. Oh my gosh, what a great day this is. I just am so happy to be able to talk to my next guest. So she has been part of the do the Thing community for a while now, and I have gotten to see her grow and her lead in the community through the way that she's able to share her story and the things that she's going through on her path and then also take in the things that we're doing on just such a deep level. It's just been amazing to be a part of her story and we did a full on celebration interview with her, so feel free to check that out. That's episode number 129 on the do the Thing podcast. We also got to interview her on the Dating Experiment podcast, which was also really fun. And I just did a vision casting workshop with her and Dr. Nancy. We did a expert panel recording as well and I'll be publishing that soon. But in the meantime, I wanted to bring her on because guess what, you guys, she started a podcast and it's so cool because the podcast challenge hasn't even started yet. I've been wanting to start it and I've been talking about it and so sometimes I get on these pre challenge zooms where I try to get people to see what it is so it's not so scary. And then I think she even just watched the video and created it on her own. I didn't. It wasn't even part of the zoom, so she just watched it on her own time and then all of a sudden she emailed me saying I started my podcast and it was fun because I already got to interview with her and her podcast. So anyway, it's been just amazing to get to see her taking on each thing as we go. So I am excited to talk to our next guest. I'm welcoming Deb Linz to the show. Hi, Deb.

Hello, Stacy. I'm so excited to be back. And I have to tell you, 1 29, you've done that many podcasts and you've done more since then.

Yeah, I don't even know. It's just it happens so fast. And you pro. I'm curious how you feel about this. It's just, it is a little addicting. It's this connection that you get to have with a person that is loving the same things that you love. And you get to just take this really intentional time and talk about it. It just feels like that's what powers it. To go so fast.

Yeah, absolutely. It's. It's going fast. So fast that last night, in the middle of the night, I was thinking about a podcast that I was planning on doing and I couldn't remember if I'd done it or if I was dreaming I had done it. So I sent some crazy emails to Pamela Nichols, who's also one of the most amazing people I've met through the do the thing challenges. So she's probably going to email me back and say, deb, yes, of course we did it. Maybe you didn't hit record again. That would be the second time I've done that.

So I love that you mentioned that we're going to go back to that because I feel like there's so many people that have these fears that are built up about doing something scary like a podcast. And that would be a fear, but you've had it happen maybe twice, at least once. And I feel like you took it, I guess we're talking about it now. You took it so well that you could have made a story about it and had it stopped you, but instead you let it move you forward and then you almost got to see the beauty from it. If you don't mind kind of talking about that a little bit.

Yeah. So I had a guest on my podcast and he was guest number four. I believe you were number three. He was number four. And we had only met a couple of times. And he's kind of going into the field that I'm in as a child and family therapist. And so he wanted to pick my brain about some things. And I wanted to talk to him about his, like, evolution from his first career to where he's at now. And we had this great hour long podcast interview, shut off the zoom. We had another hour of really opening up to each other and telling our stories. And then he left. And I went to check on the recording and it wasn't there. And so I get on the phone, hey, Mike. He says, yeah, I said, I really had a great time this morning. He says, me, too. I said, but we're gonna have to do it over because I forgot to hit record. He says, oh, no worries. Nothing wasted. And I was like, yes, because the old me would have beat myself up. It would have taken me a couple of days to call him, and I might not have even called him and just pretended that, yes, there's a recording. But now I'm kind of like, okay, I'm just going to own who I am, and if I make a mistake that doesn't define me for the rest of my life, it is a learning opportunity, and I'm truly embracing my philosophy around growth mindset and that mistakes are not shameful. They are learning opportunities, and we just get better and better from them. So, yeah, it's a whole different deb in 2023 than dev in 2022 before. I found do the thing.

So, yes, it's so good to hear, because I think that's so easy to do, is either to be paralyzed by the fear of something like that happened or to, like you said, make it mean something. And I love that. And I think you even told me when you guys redid the interview, wasn't it?

Did you?

Because you already redid it, right?

Yeah, we did it last Thursday. It was a completely different conversation. Another awesome conversation that came out of nowhere. And it's just been beautiful. I'm just getting chills just thinking about it. Yeah, I actually have a.

Have an image that I'm going to be sharing during the startup Podcast challenge kickoff. And not hitting record is one, and just showing that you can recover from it. And then I just added one this morning because this happened to me this morning. I had my landscaper come at the same time that I had a podcast interview scheduled. And in the very beginning, I had canceled the podcast. This happened to me in the very beginning of my podcast, and I canceled it and rescheduled it because he just showed up out of nowhere. This time I'm like, you know what? Worst case, I'll just do it in my car. No big deal. And it's just such a freeing thing. And so that's something I want to talk about, is these things are going to happen, and it's just learning how to navigate them when they do happen.

I did an interview with Dr. Nancy Dandradi, and my dogs started barking in the middle of the podcast, and she's like, no, that's okay. We want it. Natural. We want it. And I was like, wow, that's really cool.

Oh, my God, I got to hear that interview.

I'm excited.

Okay, so for everyone new to Deb, why don't you just share a little bit about yourself? And then because they can hear the full episode if they go back to 129, that's how we do your full on do the Thing celebration. But I want for anyone that hasn't listened to that and that isn't part of the community, please share who you are and kind of how you got to this point where you just started a podcast.

Sure. So I'm Deb. I turned 62 last week and I'm strutting my 62. I used to think you get to a certain age and you have no value. And I am totally loving my life. I retired from my full time career as an educator in June of 2022. And in July of 2022, I opened my own private practice as a child and family therapist. And I think it was August, September, I found do the Thing and did my first challenge. And it was called do the Thing Dating Challenge. But it wasn't about dating as much as it was about dating yourself and treating yourself the way that you want to be treated when you're dating someone special. Right. So how do you want to feel and how do you want to show up? And are you going to be stuck in your old ways or are you going to try some new things and open your mind and expand your opportunities? And that was really beautiful. And it just kind of. It hit me at the right time when I had ended a career, I'd started a career, and I was just really kind of getting over letting go of all this stuff, the pandemic and past relationships and hurts and all of that. And I made a decision that I wanted to live my best life. Right. And that meant getting out of my own way because that was stopping me on a lot of things. And so you allowed me to try new things in a safe manner, in a safe community and own it. Right. Just to be able to talk about it. Recently, I've talked about my struggle with procrastinating on my taxes. And it's been a progression. And this morning, finally, seven days before our taxes are due, I filed my taxes with my accountant. So now he's got seven days to to tell me what the damages are, but I don't care. I feel so good. And so I've been trying to figure out, why did I procrastinate? Right. But I've been owning it in the community. So anyway, yeah, a little bit About Deb.

Yeah, and I would love to hear because. So now you've been on a few challenges. You did the. You started with the dating, you did the find your voice, you did start a book, and now you're doing. Start a podcast. But before that podcast challenges even started, you started your podcast. So I'd love to just kind of hear what ignited that. And how did that get started, really? Because you just. I think I remember, if I'm correct, is you just watched one of the videos I posted in the group, and then you did it that way, so you didn't even have me walk you through it. It was just from a video, right?

Yeah, I didn't even know what platform to use or anything, and I. It was last November, and you shared that you were going to do a startup podcast, and I didn't know when, but sometime in early 2023, and that you were encouraging us to try and do 10 practice podcast episodes, get them recorded. And I thought, okay, well, one day, a man in my town stopped in at my office. His name is Jeff. He's my first podcast episode, and he is a stroke victim, and he can no longer work, but he walks around the community and checks in with businesses and people every day. He's kind of got a route, and I'm on his route, but a lot of times I'm either not there or I'm in session with a client, so he can't talk to me. So if I'm open, he's in my office checking in, asking if I'll make him a cup of coffee, stealing my candy kisses that I have for mindful minutes with my clients, and asking if I have any projects for him to work on with me. And so I said, hey, Jeff, I'm supposed to be doing a podcast. Would you mind being my first guest on my podcast? And he said, sure. And so I just. I had downloaded a platform called Loom, and I opened it up on my phone, and it was so funny because at one point we were this way, and then I turned it this way in the middle of the interview. So it was all that learning curve about which way do I want to record? And it was all of 3 minutes and 44 seconds, but I. It felt like it was 15 minutes, right? But it was. It was organic, it was natural, it was beautiful. And he felt good about it, and I felt good about it, and then I just sat on it until, I don't know, January or February again. So I was like, okay, did it. And that was enough for me. I'M not sure I'm ready to go further. And then you ignited my fire again, I think, in the find your voice challenge, because I didn't start doing the challenges for the first couple weeks. And then you had me on your podcast and asked me why and basically sent me an email afterwards and said, you've already done this, so why not do this? And I got off the call with you, and I think I did nine challenges in a row. So I was all caught up in that one afternoon.

Yeah.

And then it was, okay, why am I not doing the podcast? So then I started doing them again.

So it's interesting to me that we have a similar story in how our podcast got started, because my first interview was someone that inspired me, and I think this is what you're saying about Jeff. I was sort of waiting on it, and that's. That's actually the interview I did this morning with someone that was my book strategist at the time. And she was the one that told me, in order for the book to be really good, I needed to get 10 interviews of people who have done the thing so then I could get their patterns and be able to use it for my book. And so I had waited for a while, and then all of a sudden, I was hiking with a friend of mine who was telling me her Covid story, where during COVID she had lost her job and she became an artist. And for those of you that are watching, you can see that really beautiful painting in the back of the ocean. That's one that she did. And she learned to become an artist during COVID and she'd done all other kinds of amazing things, and I wanted to honor her. And so that's where I asked her for me to interview her. And that's how it started. And then I also paused again, because we did it on video. And at the time, I could not handle myself on video. I don't know what changed, but I just couldn't do video. So then I just. I'm like, I don't want to do this. So then I paused it another six months, and then again was inspired by someone. I saw this girl, you might have heard this story, she pulled up, I want a paddleboard with my dog in the water. And so I heard she did private lessons. So she came out, and she had this huge white commercial van, just so fun. And I'm like, oh, my God. Looking at her, she's got this picture on her giant van with a paddleboard dog, like a dog paddle boarding. And I was like, that is the ultimate do the thing. I was just imagining what she did to buy this van. She went all in on this thing that I wouldn't even. I never even heard of paddle boarding with your dog. You know what I mean? Having that be a business. And so I was like, I have to interview her. And so it was ignited by the people. I'd love to talk about that a little bit, because I think sometimes when you can almost take yourself out of the equation and then you could get excited about learning about someone that can also help you start the thing.

Absolutely, yeah. Jeff is amazing. He started walking past my office window when I had just rented the space, and I had nothing to put in it yet and had no idea what it was going to look like. And he just looked in the window. And finally one day I went out to the front entrance and I said, hey, are you looking for something? And he said, I'm just wondering what's happening with the space. And I said, well, come on in. I'll introduce myself. And somebody was there with me, a friend or somebody kind of dreaming about what the space would look like, and told him a little bit. And he's like, oh, really interesting. And he said, thank you. And off he went. And then he started checking back to see as I added furniture and put up wall decor, decorations and started personalizing it, he would come in and I would say, hey, Jeff, do you think you could help me put this piece of furniture together? I ordered it, and it came in a box, and I'm not good with that. And how would we do this together? And so we started doing projects together. And so we probably did four or five. And then I invited him and his wife to dinner because I don't pay him to do the projects. I treat them to dinner. And so we went to a local bar that serves delicious food, and I got to meet his wife, Joey, and we sat down and ate. And then Jeff had to go to the restroom. And as we were leaving, which go right past the restrooms, a young man said, hey, were you with Jeff? Where did Jeff go? And I said, I think he went to the restroom. And his. His wife said. Joey said, well, I'm his wife. And he said, oh, I'm one of his best friends because he comes and hangs out with me. And she didn't even know who he was. And you could see this just shocked look on her face that her husband had this whole other life that she had no ideas about. And so it was a. It was a really beautiful moment for her. To realize that he was touching lives in this new way. But there was a sadness about it because she wasn't a part of it. But what came out of that was that she realized that Jeff could do more than she had given him credit for. She didn't know that he was doing projects for me and that he was capable of doing projects. And she had taken on everything after his strokes. So he was the bill payer and the primary wage earner. And then all of a sudden, tables turned and she had to take all that on, plus care for a husband. So now she gives him projects because she knows he can do it. It's so cool. Yeah. So it'll be nice to take them out to dinner again and see how they've progressed in her letting go of everything and letting him have some responsibility.

It's amazing to me because you are giving this gift to him too, because you're honoring him in this really special way by life that he's having now, where he's getting to visit offices and do things for people. And it's kind of celebrating that moment in his life and that transition that he's in now, not talking about who he was in the past. It's like, this is who you are now, and this is what's so beautiful about it.

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that I love about him, and if you ever hear my 3 minutes and 44 second episode with him, is that you can ask him a question, and depending on the day or the question, he will remember exactly what the answer is. No problem. Or the next day, he might not even remember my name. And then he'll say, you know, I. I don't. I don't remember. And for me, that's so freeing because he's modeling for me how I should be when I don't do things perfectly or I don't remember something. And so I think that that's another piece for me is I'm every person that's been on my podcast. Opening doors has taught me something. I've taken away a gem or a jewel. I get just as much out of it, I think, as the guests that come on and talk with me.

So you're bringing up something important that I feel like I have to talk to because there's people in the singles community right now that just finished the Start a Book challenge, and many have joined the startup Podcast challenge. And some are still kind of waiting, I think, and I'm not sure what they're going to do. We're talking tonight, so I'm Hoping I can convert more people in a non pressuring way. But let's say you were going to write a book called Opening Doors. Right. And you want to highlight Jeff in your book because you, you were going to have that content, right, with his story, because he's given you that through the interview. But then you also now have your own story on what you learned from your interview with Jeff. And it adds a whole nother layer to this book. And so that's another way people can see how to write a book by using a podcast. And so this just came up because we were talking about this ahead of time, because I was like, I want people to really understand. It's not like you're writing a book and you're doing a podcast and you're finding your voice. They're not all different things. It's all the same thing.

Yeah, absolutely. And what I'm finding, as I talk with people and I tell them, it's not an interview, it's a conversation. And our conversation has no set start or end. It's whatever you feel comfortable sharing. And if you don't feel comfortable sharing, just say, that's something for another podcast. And then we know that that subject is off limits right now. And if we get back to it at another time, we get back to it. But the stories are so amazing. The things that people have done and the growth that they've had and the people they've helped, I would never know if I didn't ask questions, if I didn't invite them on my podcast. So almost everyone that's been on my podcast is going to be back again by their own choice, but by my request as well.

Yeah.

There's so much more richness than what we can get in 50 minutes of a podcast interview.

Well, and you got to see it even with the person with the recording thing. Right. There's just so much that you could talk to. It's unlimited, pretty much when you're in this kind of space.

Yeah, yeah. I find that there's two kinds of people. When you're talking about podcasts. There are people that are risk takers and they say, sure, when do you have time to schedule me in? And then there are the other people that are like, what would we talk about? And can we get together for lunch first so we can talk about it? So we get together to talk about it, and then they decide, okay, we're going to do it. Like today I did one with Jim and we talked for 45 minutes, got off the recording, and he said, wow. We should do this again. We have so much we could talk about. And I'm like, yeah, but you were skeptical the first time we got together for lunch, and you were like, what would I say? But, I mean, he didn't even have Zoom downloaded on his computer, so I had to walk him through that before we could even do the. The Zoom conversation. And even in that, he learned something, right? Yeah.

It's interesting. I really think. I love this part of it because I even. I started doing street interviews also, so I did them in Europe, and then I. I did them in New York. And so when I just. I'm going to share New York one soon. I'm really excited. Those. Those. The mic worked. The other ones, the mic didn't work. But typically, everyone says the same thing in the beginning, where they're like, I don't think I have anything worth you hearing. Then they realize they do. That's the cool moment. You realize they're not. If they're saying no, they're not saying no because they don't want to do it. They want to do it. And then when you can get them to stretch their comfort zone just a little bit, and then they see that they do have a lot of value, and it's always the person next to them is like, oh, my God, I didn't know you. You talked like that. By helping people open up, we're giving them a gift of just stretching their comfort zone and giving them a yes in their day.

Absolutely. And we are celebrating all of the things they've done that they've minimized about themselves, all the beautiful accomplishments that aren't. I didn't architecturally design a new building or something, but I gave someone this piece of information that took them here, here, and here and here. And, yeah, that was just as important building, right?

Oh, you're just reminding me. One of the people in New York. It was him and his wife. I think it was his wife. And I asked the question is, what is something you've done recently that you're proud of? And he was like, I haven't done anything. And she's like, you ran the Boston Marathon is funny. We don't even think about it. Right, right.

One of my passions is I open up my therapy office to veterans on the first and third Friday morning of each month, and we just have coffee and conversation. But most veterans who've not ever come, if they see my announcement about it on the local Facebook page, they'll say, well, what are you going to do with that information? Like, I'm doing research or something. And I said absolutely nothing. There's no. This is not a support group. This is not a, A therapy session. This is not a research project to gain information. This is a safe place for people to congregate that have a common background. And I'm doing it because my dad was a Korean War era veteran, and I had the opportunity to take two Wisconsin World War II veterans on the Honor Flight to Washington, D.C. and that was probably the best day of my entire life. So that's why I'm doing this. There's no ulterior motive, but people are so hesitant to try new things because they've been burned a lot. Right. There's a lot of fear in trying something new. And I love that you allow us to be challenged in safe, small steps that get us out of our comfort zone. And we have repeated successes. So then we're ready to try bigger ones, like starting a podcast. Right? And even if you do 10 interviews, you record 10 interviews on your phone or something more, it doesn't mean you have to do anything with it. It was just 10 practice interviews or practice conversations, asking a set of questions about anything that you're passionate about and seeing if it does anything for you. And for, my guess is more than 50%, they'll go, oh, my gosh, this was so cool. I want to do more of it. And for the other 40%, they might go, oh, that was kind of fun, but it's really not my thing. And that's okay. But you stretched yourself and tried something new, and I'm getting chills just talking about this. And, and I, I think after the pandemic, we just really need to challenge ourselves to get out of our own way and look at things through a different lens and try new things. There's no danger in it that you're not going to hurt anyone. It's. It's not going to cost anything at this point. It's all free. It's just learning, stretching your brain, which, as a child and family therapist, we know that as we age, we need to exercise our brain and do new things to create new neural pathways in order to be stronger and wiser and mentally okay. As we age. So this is a perfect prescription for aging gracefully, what you're doing. Stacy.

Yeah, I love that. Like you said, there's really no risk either. So the new group has almost a thousand people, I think, by the time it starts, which is really exciting. And to me, it's the gonna be. And you've seen it with the Community. Right. So the first call will be me really setting up the community to make sure they know it is a safe space and will be kicked out if they are not treating it as one. But the idea to me, even if it's just you being willing to be on other people's podcast, joining the group and you saying, okay, maybe I don't want to start my own, but having your hand raised to say, okay, interview me, you're getting different pieces of your story out. And so. And you've seen this with the community. I try to meet people right where they are. I don't need you to go crazy outside of it. So if you starting your own is to scary or are you even doing your own interviews is scary, then do it on someone else's podcast that wants to do it. And that could be a good starting place. So that was what I was thinking is like, what is the worst case? You're in the community, you're going to meet a bunch of new people and you're not alone. You're with other people that are. Most of them are scared because it's something new that they haven't done yet.

Right. What I loved about my first two interviews with you on your podcast is that we talked for a few minutes, probably 10 or 15 minutes before you hit record. And I do the same now with my guests. We talk about anything and nothing and what they want to talk about and how nervous they are and all of that stuff before I hit the record button. And it's beautiful because it is just a conversation, right? Yeah. So, yeah, I think that each guest that I've had on, they say things that resonate with me, that touch a part of my soul. And we have this connection, even you and I, we have so much in common that I didn't know we had in common until you were on my podcast opening doors. And it was just beautiful. And then afterwards you had this profound response to this connection that you made between something you were doing or working on. And you were just overjoyed that that came out in our conversation. And who knows if that would've ever come out if you hadn't had a conversation with someone.

Yeah. That really makes me think about how it is really cool when you're able to have these conversations with different people who have different lenses. Right. And ask different questions. Because when you get the right question asked to you, it's like different levels of your brain open up. I call them the portals. And it comes out in different ways. And that's how I felt like, yeah, you help me connect dots of different things that I wasn't even thinking. And with that, I'd love to hear, because it is very interesting how you interview. I know you're a psychologist. That's your background. But what do you think? It is still different, though, doing this. So how do you think you were able to kind of just jump in or what's your strategy when you're asking questions? Do you have anything specific you're doing?

Well, I have a list of about 15 questions. I don't ask every question of every guest because it really kind of depends on what they want to talk about and where the conversation goes. Right. Because I had someone on earlier today that got into a new career based on some trauma that she'd had with family members. And so I wasn't going to ask her the dig deep. How did you get started and what was your motivation? Because I knew that was off limits. And so I just moved on to other questions. And we just kind of wove this tapestry as we were going of what she does to create opportunities, how she's building connections and where she wants to go with that. And that was really cool. I went to church last Sunday, Palm Sunday, and the pastor said some really great things. So I took notes in my phone and I added a few new questions, which was really great for the podcast that I had to redo because I didn't hit record because he's a former Lutheran pastor who is now becoming a Lutheran counselor. And so he is very faith based, very Christian oriented. And so I knew I would be okay if I went into the Christian arena. And I'm a Christian. But I don't. I don't make that the focal point of my therapy or my podcast. But if someone's okay to go there, I now have questions that I can use in that arena as well. And so some people that I've talked with, they have like five questions they ask every guest. And I think that's beautiful. But I think the nature of my podcast is so open that not all of my first five are going to work with everyone. And so I kind of do my podcast like I do my therapy. And I kind of read people when they come into the room and decide where they are comfortable and where they are vulnerable. And I work with that while still honoring whatever it is they need to be respected. So I don't know. It's kind of a weird.

Yeah, I would love to hear your advice for people that maybe are brand new at something like this in terms of the Question side. And they don't have experience really interviewing people or working with people in this way. What would your piece of advice be for them in terms of the interviews and conversations and how to handle those?

Well, I think, number one, you have to decide what kind of podcast you want to focus on. Mine is called Opening Doors, and it's really about people who are building connections, creating opportunities, and that might be opportunities for themselves as they're going through their own healing journey, or it might be something they're doing to create space for others. Right. So knowing what kind of interview you want to have or what kind of topic you want to talk about, what you're passionate about, and then think about if you were being interviewed about that topic, what would you like people to ask you? What would get the most interesting answers out of you? Right. And then start asking your friends, start asking your neighbors and you can tell them, this is just a practice one. I don't know if I'm even going to publish, but I need practice and I would love it if you would come on. And like I said, it can be as short as three minutes. It doesn't have to be an hour long podcast. Yeah, 10 five minute interviews with 10 different people or with one person where you interview them five different times on different topics or parts of what they said in the last interview. And. And if you want to pick out four to five questions that you feel are. These are questions I'm comfortable asking. Great. Write them down. Have them sitting next to your computer so you can just follow along with them. I have my script of all 15 of my questions and now my new church based questions. And I just go where the conversation is going. And again, I always coach my guests to begin with that if there's anything I ask that they're not comfortable answering, it's just a safe answer. To say that would be a conversation for another podcast and to go into, oh, I'm not answering that or because that would be a little bit more uncomfortable. So I don't want to ever make them uncomfortable. Yeah.

And I have a really important question. Are you ready?

Yeah.

When you interviewed Jeff and it was that four minute interview, did you have any scripted questions or was it all just on the fly?

The whole thing was on the fly. I had nothing and I just went with it and I asked him a question he couldn't remember. And that's when I went into my. See, this is what I love about Jeff.

Yes, that's right. Yeah.

And when I can't remember, I beat myself up. And I feel really terrible. But Jeff is a role model for me, and that just felt very natural. And I didn't realize probably until that moment that Jeff was helping me deal with my own sense of inadequacy when I can't remember something. So I get just as much out of these conversations.

Yeah. I want to make sure you guys heard what Deb said, because she said her first interview, she did not have questions prepared. And so that's what the beautiful thing about this is, is it's going to grow and evolve. So you could make whatever you want out of the first few episodes that you start. And then as you get going, like Deb said, she got a new question that she was able to ask. So you're going to be able to grow, and then you're also going to learn how to read people better and learn how to listen better. That's one of the things we're going to be helping with in the challenge. So then your questions are going to even come out of curiosity, but do the thing. I actually really. I have just a couple of the main questions that I ask everyone, but other than that, I don't have specific questions. The new podcast is brand new, though. The Dating Experiment. Those. I have kind of prescribed questions. So it's interesting having these two things. It's because one's brand new, so I have idea of questions. The other one, I'm just like, hey, what's up? I'm just coming on. I don't prepare or anything. It's just all whatever is a feeling alive. And I feel like that's something important for people to understand. And the value didn't change with Jeff. That was an amazing interview. I think I told you after I thought that was such a gift to see someone that had gone through something like that, and then he's beginning a new life and opening doors.

Yeah. It'd be really cool to have his wife on sometime that would. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted to also say that not all podcasts have a guest. Right. So about a year ago, I started listening to a podcast out of Chicago called New Mindset. Who dis. I don't know if you're familiar with that. If you could.

No.

Yeah. And he just does 10 to 20 minute podcasts on an issue usually related to relationships, but sometimes he. He varies from that. And I just kind of got a sense of what a podcast is because I'd never really listened to one before. But he doesn't have guests on. He just talks about a topic and that's it and that's beautiful, too. If you have an area of passion or a talent or an ability that you want to share with the world, you could do that, too. So if it's the discomfort of asking someone else to be on your podcast, but you're okay with talking on your own about your passions, that might be another option for people.

How did you go from signing up to a dating challenge to starting a podcast?

Well, that's a really good question, because I did the dating challenge, I did the find your voice challenge, I did the start your book challenge, and now I am not only writing a book, but I'm writing a children's book series. And I just recently put out a request on my local Facebook page for an illustrator, and I have about 15 people that want to meet with me to see if they're going to be the chosen illustrator. So things are moving like crazy. And that's the podcast thing. But I had started the practice podcasts before I knew I was going to write a book. And seriously, I knew that I had a book in my soul for years. I'm the mom of a. An adult now, an adult son with mental health issues. And he has been. He has taught me so much in good ways and not so good ways, and I just knew there was this book in my soul, but I never knew if I was ever going to sit down and write it. So I did. And I loved what you were talking about in that your podcasts could become books and your books could become podcasts. So it's all interconnected, basically. I like talking to people about relationships, right?

Yeah.

That's kind of my jam. And so all of these things that you had challenged me on are all about helping me reach my goal of being the best version of myself. Mm. And again, just getting out of my way because I spend way too much time in my head, and then I don't start things like my taxes. But I'm changing the way that I do things. Now. What I'm learning is the things that I procrastinate on are things that I don't like doing. So I'm going to find someone to delegate those things to. And that, I think is going to be a good solution for me. And I learned it at 62. I'm hoping those of you who are listening will learn that a whole lot younger than I did. But it's never too late. I mean, if you're 72 and you're. You're learning how to do the thing, it's never too late. Life is meant to be enjoyed. So find the things that bring you joy. Try things that you've never tried before, like starting a podcast or writing a book or dating yourself, taking yourself out on a date and doing things for yourself the way that you would like someone else to treat you and see how different you feel. Just trying something new that's safe, a little bit out of your comfort zone. You're not going to hurt anybody. You're not going to rack up a big bill. There's no commitment in it. It's just a. An opportunity to expand what you know and expand who you are. It's beautiful. And you did. Stacy Lauren, you did that. Thank you.

So I want to tell you about this conversation I had earlier, because I interviewed Francine Church. Her and her husband had come on my podcast a few months ago. I think it was in November about their marriage, 41 years together, which I thought was a really cool episode, because a lot of people look at people that are married 41 years, and they're like, oh, they're lucky. But they talk about the work that they did. And honestly, if I had some of those tools when I was married, it probably would have been a little bit differently. But she came on today and we talked about she's joining the Startup Podcast challenge. You'll get to meet her. And she's amazing. And she's actually part of that group where I know Gregory from the Toastmasters, Gregory from the Dare to Dream podcast. And then you're going to meet Shannon tonight. She's also part of that group. I'm having Shannon come as an expert. She has a podcast, and I wanted her to talk to the group for a few minutes, but she is starting a podcast, and she had a really interesting way that she had a visual of herself right now and where she's at. She was talking about, it's almost like there's this glass window and she's stuck to it. She's looking out at all these people doing this cool stuff. And it's not all the time, she said. It's just sometimes. So she's got her hands on the window, and she's looking out through the glass, and it's like she's seeing all this cool stuff and she wants to get out. And I just thought that was such a great visual of what a lot of people go through, because it is so scary to break the glass and to go on the other side. And I just wanted to see what that brings up for you as we're kind of talking about that.

Yeah. So. And I've talked about this before on one of our interviews, but one thing that I do with many of my therapy clients is challenge them to do one small, safe thing every day, to ask for one small, safe thing that they want or need, don't want or don't need to provide their voice and step up. And it might be that I want peas instead of corn for dinner tonight. It might be that I want to sit on the left side of the couch rather than the right side of the couch, or I want the toilet paper to be over rather than under, or I want to drive today, or I want to listen. I want to choose the radio station today or whatever it is. But the more of those little times that you ask for what you want and need and try something new, the more that you exercise your voice, the easier it is to do that. When something big happens, like you have a special event to go to, and there's a beautiful red dress in the back of your closet that still has the tags on. You've never worn it, but this would be the perfect opportunity to wear it. Just try it on and it fits. It looks good. You've got the right shoes to wear with it. You are dynamite. Why not go for it? Why not wear that red dress tonight to that special occasion? And then you go, and five people say, oh, my gosh, great dress. You look beautiful. I'm envious of you. And then it's a win. Right? And then the next time, it's not as hard to do the thing that previously you would have never considered doing.

Yeah, that's a really good point. And that, I think, is what the beauty of the challenges are. To get people to not even realize what's happening. Because you're getting the growth as you're doing these small things, then it sort of takes over and expansion really can happen.

Yeah, like blue hair, right?

I love it, by the way. It's so great. I'd love to have you just share. If people that want to reach out to you to be on your podcast or if they want to interview you for their podcast, what is your mantra? What are you about? What do you. What would you like to see? Who would you like to connect with? I guess I should say, yeah, I.

Want to talk to people who are building connections for others and creating opportunities for themselves or others. So whether that, again, is a healing journey where you got out of your own way and decided you were done settling for less than you deserved, or you were in a difficult relationship and now you're either moving on your own or you've gotten help together and you resolve those issues, whether you're having challenges with children or elderly parents or with your job or you're creating opportunities for someone, you're building a resource or a way for people to live differently. Almost anything would fit in my podcast of Opening Doors. I've talked with Jeff, stroke victim, with Tom, who has a traumatic brain injury. I've talked with my friend Stacy Lauren, who got me started in the do the Thing. I've talked to Dr. Nancy, who's a leader, an expert on the do the Thing. I've talked to Pamela Nichols, who is an author and also a participant in do the Thing. And Mike, the pastor is going to be a therapist. And this morning, I talked to a certified recovery coach that works with the families of addicts. And I talked with my friend Jim, who is in his 70s. And some 25 or 30 years ago, he met a man and helped that man get settled into Madison, Wisconsin. And 20 years later, I met that man as a client in an adult group home with declining cognitive abilities and severe depression. And together, Jim and I were able to get that man back to Cincinnati, Ohio, where his family lives. And he is now to this day, thriving because he's back with loved ones. And so I wanted Jim on my show because if he hadn't done what he did 30 years ago and kept this man going and auditing classes at the university and being connected and then still being connected with that man when I met him as a case manager for a mental health organization, I wouldn't have been able to be a part of that bigger opportunity of sending this man home so he could enjoy the last decades of his life. And again, it just gives me chills that these people are out there and we don't know about them. So if I can give anyone any advice, tell the stories you want to tell, because it'll be important to someone.

Is there anything else coming alive for you right now that you want to share?

I think I'm a Do the Thing addict. I think, I mean, who would want to quit, right? My life just keeps getting better and better, so I'm loving this and I love the opportunity to become part of an expert panel. Right.

So excited.

Help out with a challenge coming up on Saturday that will be really cool, and I can't wait to see where this goes.

Yeah. It's so great to have you part of the community. I just value your contribution so, so much, because by you being in there and sharing your voice and your gifts, it's Helping others feel safe to share theirs. And so it's truly the magical part of what do. The thing is it's the people inside of it. And so I just really appreciate your contribution and just your friendship. I think it's been amazing.

Thank you. I do want to share with you if I can be vulnerable for a moment. When we met to plan the future forecasting for your partner, which is coming up on Saturday, you and I and Dr. Nancy got together on a zoom call. And it was so interesting to me because I would make suggestions and they would get vetoed, but I didn't take it personally, which was a huge win. It was kind of like, oh, okay, all right. And I walked away feeling really good about that conversation. And as much as six months ago, I would have gone, I am never gonna do another leader project with these two women. But it was it. I didn't feel that way anymore. The rejection piece of it was gone. It was like collaborating. And I also noticed that I wasn't the only one, that my answer didn't formulate in its original form, that it kind of morphed into something because I'd never been part of your process before, so I didn't know what to expect. Yeah. And. But it was beautiful. It was beautiful. And my response from last fall when I did the first challenge, to now, huge growth in terms of not internalizing that and going, oh, I really suck, and why am I on here? And I have no value. And I didn't do any of that. And six months ago, I would have. And I'm a therapist, so, guys, own it. Own it.

It's so interesting that you said that. I actually talked about this on a podcast episode earlier is. I'll share it with you, though, because you were involved. But I think I had imposter syndrome on that because you're a psychologist. Dr. Nancy's a retired psychologist, and I've never done a vision casting workshop. And so it was interesting how, in my mind, I'm just taking what you guys have. And so until you guys mentioned I'm game and why are we using I'm game, and then I was like, wait, what am I doing? And then all of a sudden, I was able to fall into my gift.

You just stepped into it? Absolutely.

It's so weird, but it was so cool. I love that I actually had another episode I talk about this on where when I was playing the find your voice challenge, I lost my voice with a couple things that I was. Personal things that I was dealing with. And it almost happens Every time I'm about to do something big, because that was the most transformational challenge, I think, so far, is that find your voice. And I literally lost my voice right before it. So I had to refind it, use the same tools that I used to get it the first time because I had to speak up for my needs more with some things. And then the same thing happened. Now I'm about to do the start a podcast challenge, which how many people are going to be in imposter syndrome doing a Start a podcast challenge? And so it was so interesting to me. And then you guys were totally game to do the expert panel because it helped us open up another pathway, and that's how we're able to create this thing. So it's interesting how we each have our own perspective of this experience because it was new for all of us.

Yeah. Yeah. And I love that you took the lead on it because it's your baby, right?

Yeah.

And looking for input, and it just felt right. I love deep conversations, and that felt really good to be a part of that. And it didn't matter if it looks differently than what I have done before with vision board opportunities. What mattered was we all came together, shared our ideas, and came out with something that's going to be beautiful for participants.

Do you think? Because I actually think. I normally do this in expert panels, but this was different because it was just a different thing in my head for some reason, because it was only two hours. Normally I talk about it being a brainstorm, and we each have a school of thought, and it's more like a mastermind. And I don't think I even did that this time. Do you think that would have helped set the space up? Better to know that not every idea is going to get adapted, but we're going to morph it. Kind of what you said, morph it into this really cool thing because we're taking everyone's and sucking it into one thing. Just wondering if there's anything I could do better for future ones.

Yeah, I can't answer that because I've not been in the other kind either. So this was first for me. What I know is that you have created a safe community, and nobody takes anything personally. We all know that it's okay to be who we are at whatever stage we're at, and that's okay. And so I think that's part of it for me. It was just safe to be there. And I'm a little intimidated by you and Dr. Nancy, too. So I was having the same kind of feelings, but I felt really good about our conversation and I don't think I would do anything differently.

Okay, cool. Yeah. And I loved how we ended doing the actual recorded expert panel was so funny.

Yeah, absolutely.

So funny. All right, cool. Well, I am just so thrilled with you and just everything that you do. So thank you so much for just going through the do the Thing challenges and being a part of the community, because it's been amazing, for sure.

Same here. I was a different person before I found you, and I love the ways that I'm growing. So thank you very much and much continued success to you.

Thank you. And for the listeners, do the Thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast co or email usello the Thing podcast.