Dr. Terry Chase: A Broken Back Couldn't Stop This High-Achiever From Following Her Dreams, And She Wants You To Do The Same
31 Oct 2023 · 37 min
Dr. Terry Chase broke her back 35 years ago as a PE teacher and Outward Bound instructor. She became a nursing professor and wrote Spoke by Spoke, a memoir about resilience. She shares mindset tools like the owner versus victim mentality and exercises to reframe negative self-talk.
Questions this episode answers
About a little over 35 years prior to the interview.
T12 fracture and an incomplete spinal cord injury.
Late 2021.
Nine years.
Craig Hospital (Denver).
Chapters
I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.
Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.
Hey everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Oh my gosh, you guys. Today's guest has such a highly motivational story. Her determination, willpower and ability to pivot are so inspirational to me. She is a perfect example of someone who does the thing in every way, shape and form. Dr. Terri Chase is a well known public speaker and award winning author. But before she found those callings, she was a middle school PE teacher, Outward Bound instructor, and an associate professor. And if those things don't sound oppressive enough, she's also a spinal cord injury survivor. When so many others would have given up, Terry kept rolling forward. Her story has impacted people across the world and her book, Spoke by Spoke, uses personal stories to inspire everyone how to live the life of their dreams, no matter the dark times they face. Her story blew me away and I can't wait for you to hear it. I'm so excited to welcome Dr. Terri Chase to the show. Hey, Terry.
Hi. How are you?
I am good. How are you doing?
Doing great today, thanks.
Good. I'm so glad to have you on. I love getting introduced to people from friends who tell me that they've met people that are doing the thing and then they get referred over here because I think there's something really cool about getting to just meet new people and when I got to see what you're doing, it's just blown my mind. So just the idea that we're going to be able to have this conversation today is really exciting.
Great, thank you.
I'd love to have you start off for the listeners and to share your story.
Okay. Well, it's kind of a long story, so I will make it kind of short. I always like to do like laser it. So let me give you a little laser version of my story. Basically, I'll start where I am right now. And currently I just retired. I recently retired as associate professor of nursing in the BSN program at Colorado Mesa University. And I was there for nine years as a Teacher and a faculty member in the mental health curriculum for nurses. Because mental health for nurses is really important, not just for their own self care, but for patients coming through healthcare systems. And it doesn't mean they had to be psych nurses. I mean, I told them mental health is everywhere so you're going to learn about it in every capacity. So I did that for nine years. Before that I was working with Craig Hospital here in Denver and I was the patient and family education coordinator there. And that's a very famous hospital for people with traumatic brain and spinal cord injury. And I did the patient education program because my background is truly as an educator as well as a nurse. And I also have a spinal cord injury. So it was a really great combination of all my skills and talents to pull that together. And then like I said, my background is in education. I've been a middle school PE teacher, I've been an Outward Bound instructor. I think one of my superpowers is really experiential learning. How do I get people to hands on, to process, to use whatever information were working with for their own transformation and to put it into practice right away?
Yeah, that's amazing because so many times people are learning things and it's in a way a very heady space. But until you can actually get them to be immersed into it. And like you said, that experiential learning, it really helps them absorb what's happening. And it sounds like even just Outward Bound in itself. I think that's a really great example of that because you're actually out there doing the thing.
Yes.
So you mentioned the spinal cord injury. Do you mind? Are you open to talking about that as well?
Oh, absolutely, yeah. So it was just about a little over 35 years ago, which was a lifetime for some of your listeners, I'm sure, or even more than their lifetime. But for my lifetime it's been 35 years. I was out on a bike ride, a 10 mile bike ride outside of Grand Junction, which is the town I actually live again now. But I was coming in from out of town. I was hit by a drunk driver unexpectedly. I was all of a sudden on top of the hood of this car and I'm like, wow, this is really bad. I was holding on for as much as I could. He swerved, I fell, hit the ground and hit the pavement and sustained a T12 fracture of the spinal column and then an incomplete spinal injury.
And so after that happened, so before, is that when you did Outward Bound or did you do that after?
Well, a little bit of Both before my accident and when I was hurt, I was a middle school PE teacher, and then during the summers I was an Outward Bound instructor. So climbing mountains, backpacks on the back, rock climbing, all that stuff. And then after I got hurt, the whole theme of Outward Bound really continued through my life around to serve, to strive and not to yield. And so I just took that in as one of my philosophies of I'm not going to let this injury hold me back. The wheelchair will propel me forward. I will make this work for me. I mean, it's not to say that I didn't have any bumps along the way. I certainly did. Self doubt, anger, what the heck, that kind of stuff. The whole society's view of people with disabilities, which to me is very limiting. This is, oh, well, you have a disability, let's get you on public assistance. I guess you can't do anything. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. So I fought that all the way and continued on with my life.
How did you learn how to being so active before? Right, and I'm sure you're still active in different ways, but how do you replenish yourself? How did that shift? Because I know a lot of times when people are active and they're doing all that stuff, that's where you're getting the mental health and the mental relief from. What do you do now that really helps you get that?
Well, you're absolutely right because I was a physical education teacher, I was a long distance cyclist, I did Outward Bound, I mean, all that. So that's where I had my sociability. I would much prefer to go on a big long bike, ride with somebody and talk along the way than go sit and have coffee. That just wasn't my thing. So there were a lot of shifts for me that I had to do. And not saying that I became less active, in a lot of ways, I became more active. My garage is now called the Sports Castle because I've added so many different pieces of equipment and so many options for sports and activity. And at the same time it really forced me to slow down and to understand that quality of relationship is really what I was looking for. And I thought, I thought it was just, well, if I'm hiking and biking, that must be high quality. But really what I found out was really spending time and being in contact with people. So yes, I am still very active, always. Like right now in my vehicle outside, I have my tennis chair because as soon as we're done, I'm heading up To Boulder for a tennis practice with some folks up there. So I always have something that I'm able to get to.
How do you keep that motivation going? How do you do it? Because there's so many people that can have a million excuses, right. That haven't gone through what you've gone through. And the fact that you're doing it is really inspirational.
Yeah. Well, I think a lot of it for me was, and I can talk more about this as we go, but a lot of it was from the beginning. It was a mindset of, I'm going to make this work for me. I will not be a victim. This is going to work for me. I'm going to find a way. And so I approached. Even in my rehab, I remember being in the hospital going to physical therapy and because I was a PE teacher, was like, all right, this is a workout for me. Let's do a workout. Let's work on wheelchair skills. When I had to come time to ordering my own personal wheelchair, which can be very. I mean, it was a tough, tough day. It wasn't like, oh, I'm happy to order a wheelchair. No, I wasn't that happy. But what I did was, okay, if I was ordering a bike, how would I go about it? And so it was like, all right, this is the color I want. This is the performance I want. This is what this chair is going to do for me. So this is how it needs to be. So I think a lot of it is being able to shift. I think our minds play such a big difference in the quality of our lives and the success of our lives. That has nothing to do with the body. It's mind and heart. I mean, I know folks with even less function after spinal cord injury that do more in their lives and their lifetimes than most people I know walking around. So it has nothing to me. It has little to do with the physical capability. It has to do with the mental and emotional and spiritual.
Do you think that it comes back to gratitude? Are you tapping into your gratitude more?
Well, yeah, I mean, I think that that's certainly a big piece of well being. It made me more grateful for my life. It made me, you know, I was always hugging my legs before I got hurt, like, good job, you guys. You got me to the top. Over 14er. And now it's like, yeah, I'm still really grateful for my legs and for whatever I've got available to me. But it also helped me see who was available in my life. My family stepped forward. There's certainly some Special friends that stepped forward, and just the whole. The healthcare teams and the people that I had to interface with throughout really helped me as well.
Yeah, I think that helped you see who is available in your life, because when things went down, it was like they could have either run or they could have helped bring you up. And it sounds like they were able to just really be there for you.
Yep, yep.
And so what is life looking like for you now?
Well, what life is looking like for me now is I feel very excited about what's ahead of me. I just retired from my last brick and mortar job, my last brick and mortar teaching assignment at the university, and I'm really expanding into my own consulting, speaking, and facilitation work. And yeah, so I'm very excited about that. I can negotiate my schedule a lot more to fit me and my lifestyle and my partner and our family and the things that I want to do. So I'm very, very excited and I'm so grateful for you to invite me on your podcast as well.
Thank you. I'm just. I'm so happy that you're here. It's just so encouraging and inspiring just to be able to hear what you're able to take from. From this experience and what you're able to do with it. And then I think also just the fact that you're helping others now. Right. You have this lived experience and now you can come on the other side. I'd love to hear about your book.
Oh, sure. So Spoke by Spoke is a culmination of stories, and it's divided into three sections. Spoke one, Spoke two, and Spoke three. And it's stories about my life living with spinal cord injury. And I withheld publishing it or really pulling them together for a long time because I. I didn't want to tell people what to do. I didn't want to be that kind of, if I can do it, you can do it. I don't want to do that. But then I also got to the point of, you know, I really, first of all, if I don't start writing this stuff down and get it out there, I might forget. And I didn't want to do that. And I also wanted to share some of the lessons that I had in ways that were meaningful to people. So I published this in late of 2021. It has won a couple of awards in independent book publishing circles. So I'm pretty excited about that. And I've gotten a lot of good feedback from people around how it helped them. This is not just for people with a spinal cord injury or a disability. And I work with a lot of different people. So it's not just all you handicapped people. It's there are a lot of people. Everybody's got something going on in their lives that might be keeping them stuck. So Spoke by Spoke is my wish to help people move forward. So the full title is Spoke by Spoke. How a Broken Back and a Broken Bike Led to a Wholehearted Life.
That's beautiful. I'd love to hear something from it, if you don't mind reading one of the stories or whatever you're open to.
Sure. Let me see. I'll read this one. It's fairly short. Yeah, about two and a half pages. So this is called Looking Up. So this is in the first spoke. So it's in the first part of the book where I talk about my return to the life that I had, thinking I was going to return to the life I have. But really. And it was different. So it's called Looking Up. So a picture perfect full day out on the playing field. Cool temps, blue sky. A soft breeze rustled through the tall, leafy cottonwood trees. Trees. The flag football field formed the interior section of a city park that doubled as an outdoor playground and teaching area for my middle school students. Okay, kids, I shouted. Let's divide up into teams, take turns and say peanut or butter. I didn't like this part. The process of making teams always seemed to leave someone out, so I had to make up ways to get even numbered teams. Tall, short, male, female. Co ed classes offered extra challenges. If the numbers were off. My peanut butter routine was an attempt at randomization. My goal was to get the kids active and moving, making sure no one was left out. No one stood on the sidelines in my classes. Hey, knock it off, Joey. No pushing. We have a game to get going. As a middle school PE teacher, I was always breaking up tangles and near fights. These kids had loads of energy, but not much in the way of self control. Ms. Chase, can I be the quarterback? Asked Taylor, a short kid with red curly hair. I was sitting in my wheelchair, face to face with this wannabe quarterback. Teaching physical education from a wheelchair was all new for me in that eighth year of my career. And it only been five months since the accident that had paralyzed most of my lower body and damaged my athletic identity. Now I was starting to get myself off the sidelines and back into the game by teaching out on that field again. Sure, I said. Will take turns at all positions. You go first at quarterback. He smiled and turned toward the Team gripping the football a bit more confidently. Teams divided, ball placed in center. I blew the whistle, signaling it was time to start. The kids sprang into action. I wanted a better view of the game, so I pushed myself up to standing with my forearm crutches. I had only recently started walking again. Using the crutches, I cheered the kids on, shouting instructions for legal flag grabbing and ball handling. In the excitement, I stepped closer to the game, a bit too close. The rush of the ball handler, flag grabbers and cheering players moved down the sideline, ever closer to the goal. I too was caught up in the action, shouting, cheering, eyes glued to the game. The kid with the ball, the biggest one in the class of seventh graders, ran down the sideline as opposing players reached for his flags. Like any good running back, he was using sideline in an effort to avoid flag grabbers. In a flash, I was hit. My crutches went flying and suddenly I was lying flat on my back in the grass, staring up at the wide eyed faces of middle school students. The cheering had stopped. Ms. Chase, are you okay? Several voices asked in unison. Their concern was obvious not just from their tone, but from the looks on their faces. From my new vantage point on the ground, my crutches lying next to me, I did a quick body scan for hurting places. None. I checked my breathing, still working. I checked my heart, still loving the kids and teaching, I smiled and laughed out loud. Sure, kids, I'm fine. And I'm so happy to be here on the ground, back in the game with all of you. I meant it. No harm done. I was good. More than good. Great. Five months in a rehab facility were done. I was happy to be back even if I were lying on the ground. I was a teacher again and those were my students. And what better way to let them know you can get knocked down and that there's always a way to get back in the game. Taylor pushed through the crowd, a look of real concern on his face. Ms. Chase, he lamented. I threw the pass and he caught it and ran into you. I'm sorry. I smiled up at him. It's okay. You made a great pass and he caught. It would have been a touchdown if I didn't get in the way. Using my best PE teacher voice, I shouted, go get my wheelchair, kids. I gotta get up. We have a game to finish. I turned over, got up on my knees, dragging my legs and feet along behind me, reached my chair. I made one big thrust in a quick turn and my bottom landed in the seat. Okay. I shouted. All right. Dusting the grass out of my hair. A little shaken but steady. Let's get this game going.
How do you think you, in that moment when you were on the floor, were able to add the humor to it and bring that up? That shows the amount of work that you've had to be able to get there, right?
Well, I think one of the things that has saved me, I do have a. I do have a sense of humor to some degree. I mean, I'm not like, ah, you know, that kind of person. I'm really pretty serious. And if you read the, one of the first parts of the book, it was like, I'm dead serious. But I always, I found the humor helps kind of lighten things up a little bit for me and for others. And I really wanted the kids to know that I was okay. This whole thing about getting knocked down and being able to get up was really important message for me, for them, because a month before I got hurt. So just six months previous to that day or that time, one of our students had completed suicide. And that was another motivator for me. It was like, these kids, I can't let these kids know that when things get bad, you just kill yourself. I just didn't want that message. So it was really important for me to model at all opportunity that bad things happen. You know what, we dust ourselves off, we get up and go on, let's go, let's play the game. Wow.
I was also wondering with the book, so when you were writing those stories, are these journal notes that you had done during different times or how did you write it?
No, they, they were actual stories. I mean, they started out, I call them, I can't remember what I call them, but they're basically essays. They're stories. I think I may have started calling them essays. And I had a writing coach say, you know, why don't you make them stories? So I made up stories. And through the years, this is probably over the course of 10 years, I had a few different writing coaches. I was in writing groups where I got feedback. There was one six month period where I wrote close to 40,000 words because of a program I was in. I mean, I was continuing to generate stories. And then in late 20, 20 or so, I started working with a writing editor. And he said, just start sending me your stories. I'll make some comments, edit them, send them back. And then we did that for about a year. And then finally he said, okay, now we need to really start putting these in to some kind of order. I didn't Write them thinking, I'm going to start with this one. I'm going to end with that one. It was really. To me, writing is a very generative process, and there's magic in writing. So that when I start writing, I don't really know what's going to come, but I know that something will. So that's how it happened, was that he's like, okay, now we've got these more than 40,000 words of stories. He goes, let's start putting them. And then we kind of worked back and forth with Spoke one was kind of like the beginning. Spoke two was kind of like the inner work and some of the real tough things I had to do in my own transformation. And then spoke three is about now how I'm using them, really flourishing in the world with things.
And you were using that space with other people to kind of help see what landed and which way you should go with it, basically.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I think as a. For anyone out there who's a writer who's like, what should I do? I was like, we'll just start writing for one thing. And don't be afraid to get feedback from others, because it makes. I was. I was afraid at the very beginning, not just with this, but some other professional writing I had done. I was afraid to get feedback. And then I realized that, you know what, you get feedback, you get stuff to work on and make it better. So it really did make it better.
So it's interesting. I'm in the middle of planning a Get Fit challenge right now, and I'm so curious to see if you have any thoughts on helping people with this. But the idea is one of the. Just to give you an idea. With my brand, do the thing. I have a formula, and I integrate the formula into the challenges, and then I do different dares to get people to do things. And people are coming in thinking, I'm going to probably have them do a bunch of exercising and all that. But then one of the first stairs is going to be to write a letter to your body, basically, because we're hard on ourselves. And I was just curious if you have any thoughts on what would you think would help people? Because getting fit is really mind and body, right? And being able to feel your best with whatever situation you have going.
Well, I think one of the things that keeps people stuck is that we, and me too, is that I think about it too much and like, all right, just do something. Start. Start somewhere. Take one step. So I think as far as that goes, I think the Other thing, too, for me, particularly during COVID this has to. I mean. I mean, I've done a lot of things, so it's not like I haven't done anything. But one of the things I did a lot during COVID was I'd think about some kind of recipe that I saw or I wanted to get something, but I couldn't go there, or they were out of it or whatever. And I just say, well, you know, I can do that. So it was just kind of that new thing of, oh, I can do that. So then I would Google, how do I make a chicken pot pie? So it might be something around. I can do that. Just try it. Just take a step, though. Don't sit there and just go, well, I don't know, Just take one little.
Teeny step, basically finding something that you want to do and then just telling yourself, I can do that. And then you mentioned the thing that's really helped you since the accident has been that part of connecting with other people and how before you were using biking and different things to connect with others. And so how are you able to make that shift to be able to have deeper connections with people since then?
Yeah, I think some of it is. I think the accident helped slow me down because I was moving. I mean, I was just moving pretty fast in my life. I mean, I didn't really have any committed love relationships. I was kind of playing the field, you know, that kind of stuff. I just kept doing things that kept me away from that intimacy. So I think the accident itself helped slow me down. I think just being able to reflect on how's it working for me. Some of that stuff really wasn't working for me. Those patterns and habits, getting some help from a counseling perspective, doing some personal and spiritual growth, and just being able to recognize that I am a human being and part of the human race, so it's okay if I relate to other people.
And then how did you put yourself out there because you had to completely change your dynamic with where you were going?
Well, I went back to teaching. That was a big thing. And in my book, you'll read some of the dark times. And I think that's important for all of us to recognize that if we continue to avoid the dark times, it's not helpful. So I had some dark times where I was ready to, like in one of my stories is roll myself off a cliff, but I didn't. And it required that I begin to really listen to myself and to really listen to what was going on inside of me. One of my top strengths and one of my top ways of being is from a spirituality standpoint. So to really listen to guidance from spirit. So that. And then, I mean, I went to nursing school. I didn't even think about when I was applying to nursing school, what would it be like to go through nursing school in a wheelchair? Well, I'm glad I didn't think about that because it would. I probably would have said, oh, you know what, forget it, I'm not going to do it. But just stepping out and doing things, so really challenging myself, pushing myself. And it wasn't because I wanted to go to nursing school because I thought that was a great idea. I was on a mission. I wanted to find out what made me feel better. And so I was like, oh, there was a few other things in there as well, but oh, nursing school. And this particular program had to do with. It was based on the theory of human caring. That's. It must have been the theory of human caring and people caring around me. So it's that. I mean, I don't remember your initial question, but I think a lot of it is first of all, having to make contact with myself, contact with spirit, and really listening and taking action based on that.
If you were going to give people advice on that, having contact with themselves, contact with spirit, and then being able to move and take one step, what do you think would be the way for them to get started?
Well, I don't give advice, so but what I do do is I work with people and coach them around. Let's take a minute now. Let's take a minute. If you were to listen to yourself, are there some voices or there's some things that you haven't been paying attention to? Because I would bet that people have experience. They just don't want to. They're like, oh, I don't want to do that. So it'd be that. And then it might be some looking at what's underneath that resistance. So what are some of the beliefs like, well, I'm not good at anything or I can't have what I want. Oh, that's interesting. Let's explore that a little bit more. And then really asking people, what is it you want that would bring you joy? What's going to bring you joy? We get so into what's going to bring me money and fame and fortune. And really the data shows that those things are not really that long lasting. So it's around the things that bring us joy.
And so I'm glad you said that. I had actually a Couple people in my community that they had been divorced. And I'm thinking of one woman specifically. And she was watching football. Right. She's been divorced for a few years, and all of a sudden she's like, why am I watching football? I don't even like football. She watched it because her ex husband did. And I was just curious, when sometimes someone doesn't even know what brings them joy, what would be a way for someone to tap into that a little bit better?
Well, there's an interesting process that I. I've done myself, and everything I. I ask people to try or do was part of my homework is called the joy no joy list. And I'm like, all right, start on this one page, what brings you joy? And just start writing things down, like playing with my cat, going outside, reading a book, just. So keep doing that. And then on the other page, what things don't bring you joy? So it might be some things. You know, those stupid reports at work, that person that really bugs me, I'm still mad at my ex husband. Okay, great. So what happens is they start writing that what brings them joy, and they start to notice, wow, that that list is getting bigger and bigger. But then when they also notice is, wow, where am I putting all my attention? It's on the no joy list. Like, bastard. You know, whatever. So it's like, oh, oh, oh, I got it. So that's one of the things that I've used for myself and for other people to begin to get the conversation going with themselves.
Yeah. It's both the writing, the thinking, and then also you're getting to see what you're burning energy on that's not bringing you joy, which then can bring you more joy when you stop burning energy on the no joy list. Yeah. Okay. So in your experience, what has been the best thing that's helped you in mindset for you to be able to just kind of get through the hardest times?
Yeah. Well, I didn't really know there was a terminology for this until I started studying with Steve Chandler, who some of us in our community call him the grandfather of coaching. So in my work in developing myself and continuing to develop myself as a coach, it's around the owner victim mindset, the owner. Or it could be creator reactor. So we'll just call it owner victim for now. So owner mindset is when I was in the hospital and I said, I'm going to make this work for me, this wheelchair is going to propel me forward. The victim consciousness, which I can say, yes, I've had That a few times is, well, I really probably can't do that. It'll be too much work or what are they doing to. Yeah. Society is holding me back. So I think by recognizing first of all my own abilities to really use my mindset around taking ownership and really recognize for myself, when have I been a victim? Because I, I actually got mad in one of my classes with Steve and he's talking about this and I come out and I'm Steve. I am not a victim. I'm not a victim. Just, just read my book. I'm not a victim. Well, then I started thinking about are there times when I am in victim consciousness? So it's, it's. We can be both and. But I think the key is, is recognizing where are we? Where am I? That that was a key for me.
It's that self reflective ability to be able to see where you are in it and then being conscious of it. So then you can make a conscious choice rather than an unconscious choice.
Correct.
Yeah. Tell us about your coaching and your speaking and what that's like.
Sure. Well, my speaking is, I have what I call a signature keynote. So I do big sessions, keynote speeches, general sessions with large groups. I also do breakout sessions. So I do a lot of, I can do smaller groups a lot. All my stuff is hands on. I give people work to do while I'm speaking. I really use the story of my injury and some of my, a little bit of my stories around that. I'm really interested in helping people flourish in their lives. I really like to take kind of complicated, kind of complex things and help people understand them for applicability into their life. And like I said, I think one of my superpowers is being experiential. So we're hands on stuff, we're doing stuff. I'm having them write things, I'm having them build things, depending on the group. And I really customize my sessions, whether it be the keynote, which is entitled A wholehearted life, one step at a time. And then I have different breakouts and then I have various sundry things that I do. I do work with nonprofit boards around relationship communication and switching their mindset from being takers. I got to get that money to givers. So board members and nonprofit boards are really looking to fundraise. Well, it's changing their mindset around that. I worked with leadership teams, nursing teams, nursing students, and then another part, another piece of my work is I do client assisted learning. So what that means is I bring people in working with horses and I develop Sessions around communication, teamwork, that kind of stuff. I mean, it depends. Once again, it depends on the group. There's always a creative arts activity in there as well. Yeah. And I'm also. Another big piece of my work is coming from a strengths based approach, really following the work of Martin Seligman and the whole theory of well being and really helping people institute those practices in their lives.
What's kind of a way, just if you can explain it here, that you're able to do that.
So in the theory of well being, he calls it the perma. So permit stands for positive emotions. So having people really consider our positive emotions in your life, engagement is. Are you involved in something that really hooks you in relationships, meaning and purpose and accomplishment. So for each of those areas, I mean there's different practices. We can look at gratitude, we can look at mindset, we can look at strengths based approach. Time affluence. I mean that's a big one. People are always saying, oh, I don't have enough time. I'm just so busy, I'm swamped. I'm like, well that's if you consider it, that's kind of a victim consciousness. So if we move to more of a mindset of time affluence and having time to do the things that we choose are important. Now sometimes that means, okay, I have half an hour to work on this project that I really don't like. But you know what, I've got to get it done. So I'm going to spend 30 minutes, I'm going to work on it. So it's again, it all comes down to mindset. It comes down to what is it people want in their lives.
I love this talk you're doing with even just. I talk about opportunity costs a lot. People don't realize what they're giving up when they're spending time on the things that aren't working for them.
The no joy list.
Yeah. Yeah. Wait, can we go back there for a minute? I'd love to hear. Do you have a best technique for someone when you're doing the experiential learning? Is there something that is like I got.
Okay. I mean I have a whole box. I call it my toys. Oh, okay. So let's, let's do one. I don't. Okay, so if you had a string. So we're going to talk about. You've heard about positive and negative self talk, right?
Yeah.
Okay. So if, if. Yeah, if. And I give people. What I do is I give them a 6 inch piece of string and I Say, okay, so what let's everybody say out loud a negative self talk. You say to yourself, well, no, first of all, I have them say, I have them look at their strength. Oh, it's flexible, it's long, you can use it. You could tie a bow in it. You could do it. Okay, great, it's usable. So then, okay, let's talk about negative self talk. So every time somebody shouts out a negative, I'm so dumb, everybody has to put a knot in their string or I'm not good enough or I'm this or I'm that. So pretty soon they've got this balled up piece of string. And I said, okay, now look at your string. How useful is it? Can you do anything with it? Where's the flexibility? No, no, you know what? I'm like, okay, so that's what happens inside of us when we do all this negative self talk. So then they're like, oh, wow, I didn't realize, you know, okay, good, wow. So now that I say, okay, now everybody has to come up with one. What's one positive self talk. Well, I could have done that. Maybe I'll do it better next time. All right, how about another one? Well, I'm still learning. All right, so what's another one? Well, I could ask for help. Okay, so then what they do is they untie their strength and then I'm like, okay, so again, let's have that experience of what goes on inside of us when we tie ourselves up with negative self talk and how we can we tie ourselves up so much we can't do anything. Yeah, so that's just one. I mean, I've got all kinds of goofy things.
I love that. Do you mind? Can you do one more? I just, I think this is a really good way for people to kind of see the value.
God, oh God, oh God. Well, I use a lot of facilitation tools and I'll give a plug in to Michelle Cummings who's been developing training-Wheels.com for over 20 years. This www.training-Wheels.com. and Michelle's a great, great person. She's got so many toys and tools that we can use as facilitators. And so she's got, she called wheelies. So one of them is, I think it's icebreaker Wheelie. So whenever I have a big new group, I give everybody one of the wheelies. And there's a question and I'll just take one off top of my head. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you Go. Okay. So that's an example of some of the questions. So then what they do is they have to mill around and they find a partner and each person gets to ask that other person their question. Okay, that's great. And then after they're done, then they switch cards and then they go somewhere. So they do that three times in a row, and it gives them an opportunity to one, start to move around, because movement is really important in learning. They get to make eye contact and learn a little bit about somebody else, share something about themselves, and it kind of warms the group up.
But I have never heard of that site, and I'm really into this space, so I'm excited to check that out also.
Yeah.
What would be your number one piece of advice for the listeners on doing the thing?
Doing the thing. Okay. All right. So first thing is take the first step. Okay. And I think that that's one of the things that has helped me the most in one of my stories is there is talking about water skiing. And I was water skiing before I even got discharged out of the hospital. And if I had not taken that first step that day and said, okay, I'll go on that outing, I'll go. I wouldn't have. Then I continued to water ski every summer for 30 years in a row. So that's the first thing. Take the first step. Even if you're not sure, just take a small step. The second one is listen deeply. That whole thing about taking time for reflection, taking time for silence. You don't have to go on some big, long retreat. Just go sit outside and sit under your tree. Just. Just be quiet for a little bit and see what comes up. So that's the second thing. And then the third thing is to give back. That it might be someone in your family that might need a little bit of help, or maybe there's a community of people that you work with or something, but always give back. So it's take the first step, listen deeply, and give back.
Yeah. You just helped me connect the dots on something I've been looking into. I do a lot of work with deep listening and helping people reflect with others and be able to really kind of get in tune with the other person. But I think you're wording deep listening is deep listening for yourself so you can hear your own voice and what it's saying.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, this has been amazing getting a chance to talk to you. I can't thank you enough for being here and being able to talk to the listeners. I'd love to have you share where people can find out about you, get into your coaching, your speaking and book and all that stuff.
Sure. Well, my website is www.doctor terrychase.com Dr. Terrychase.com and there's lots of information on there. I've got some videos of me talking. I've got some examples and pictures of some of the work I've done with groups and particularly the ones with the horses. My book Spoke by Spoke is available on Amazon and also bookshop.org for the Independent bookstores and so on. And I'm totally open to people getting in contact with me around a conversation. I always like to hear what's up for people, what's going on. My email is terry@doctor terrychase.com so feel free to be in contact.
Thank you so much. And thanks so much for being here.
You bet. Thank you, Stacy.
And for the listeners, do the Thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.
Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show, but even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at do the Thing callcast co or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.
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