Kyle Carnohan: Learn Why This Devoted Father And Former Firefighter Says It's Time To Turn Excuses Into Action
13 Jul 2023 · 43 min
Kyle Carnahan left a 15-year firefighting career to start Superhuman Fathers, a coaching community for dads. He built the group on accountability and what he calls declarations: public commitments that force you to follow through. His core belief: stop making excuses and start taking action.
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I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.
Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.
Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, my adventures continue and I went to this amazing conference in Austin, called Capcon. It's part of the capitalism.com community. And I went a year and a half ago and went again this year and it was unbelievable. It's been the thing that's really been able to help me kind of on my path with what I want to do with do the Thing and my life and all that good stuff. And through that. It's funny, I saw my next guest there the whole time and he was talked about a lot from the founder of capitalism and so many people that he's been helping there through his program. And we didn't get to meet until we were at the. Actually we met at a special dinner, but we didn't get to talk too much. And then I saw him at the airport in San Diego and it was like, oh my gosh. Okay, thanks, universe. This is perfect because I was wanting to talk to him that night that we were at the dinner, but it was just so many people and it was hard to. To get a one on one and so anyway, so that's when I was able to invite him to come on the podcast. And it's just cool because I knew the whole time I saw him I'm like, oh man, that'd be so cool to interview him because of how he's helping people do the thing. And then it just kind of worked out when we got to see each other. So I'm so excited to dive into him and his story and, and also introduce him to you guys because I love connecting people to people who are doing the thing. And with his brand superhuman fathers, he is doing that. And the ripple that he's having with people by giving them the best version of themselves as fathers is really doing the thing and helping all of the people that they touch. So I am welcoming Kyle to the show. Hey, Kyle.
We made it. Yeah, it was, it was the pressure of God and the universe just. It was like making you tie your shoe at this time. And then it was making me forget my luggage and have to go back. And then it just. Right. Perfect timing.
I know. And it's funny, I think I mentioned this to you at the airport, but that dinner, we. So just for everyone knows, we're in this NFT mastermind through this community. And when we were at that dinner, we had a chance. We were sort of talking a little, and then I was like, okay, cool, we're gonna get to talk more privately. But then the sky opened up and do you remember there was like clouds in the sky.
Yeah. Like marshmallow clouds. Magic marshmallow clouds.
Yeah. And then there we were at the airport. So. Yeah, it was so perfect. I'd love to just start off and have you share with everyone who you are and what you're doing now.
Thank you, man. I'm Kyle Carnahan and I'm the founder of Superhuman Fathers, which. I wake up and wonder how I got here. Many, many days. I just quit my job as a fireman for 15 years six days ago or seven days ago or something like that. Or was it longer than that? Maybe it's been two weeks, but. And now I'm sitting here, I've got 540 men in the Superhuman Father's brotherhood that look to me for guidance and leadership. And I'm creating leaders that are living the message of character and integrity and in the position of father and husband and. And man. And I'm watching this thing just light on fire right now, and it's kind of blowing my mind. What I am seeing is the more that I listen to where I need to go and what I need to do, the more my words are becoming effective in impacting others. This concept's freaking me out right now because I'm finding this strength to tell men the truth at a deeper level. And it's very uncomfortable and scary sometimes where this conversations lead me. But when I speak the truth, even though it hurts and is very uncomfortable sometimes, men rise.
Yeah. It's amazing when you're able to kind of tap in to what your purpose is, and then you get to see the ripple of that path being lit for you, essentially.
Yeah, it's magic. It really. Like 10 years ago, people would be like, everything happens for a reason. I was like, that's such God. Science, science, science, science, science, science. Proof, proof, proof. And now I don't even. I just believe everything. I just feel like I'm just floating. It's just. Believe Everything is literally just put together for you to just succeed in your purpose. Everything, absolutely everything that happens, stubbing your damn toe, it's there as a gift. Everything is a gift. And that we're all supposed to win. And all it takes is just listening and then having the discipline to follow through consistently and then continue to believe without letting go of that rope. Because most men are, yo, yo, men and women, yo, yo, doing real good. Some knocks us off, then we're on the dumps for a while, then we do really good. And then you never get anywhere. You're just stuck. But when you can be on this trajectory of just constant pressure upward without any breaks ever, just always pushing without gritting your teeth, because you're putting yourself in this spot where you're strong enough to sustain where you're at. And because you're pushing just enough above your threshold, you're constantly getting stronger. Very similar. Building a muscle or healing a tendon. I had really bad tears in my patellar tendons. I'm a skateboarder in my early 30s. And what happens to your tendons when you overwork them? They get tendinitis, which a lot of people have had tendonitis, where it's like the joint hurts or the connective tissue. But then if you keep pushing through, you get tendinosis. And that's when the cells, they refuse to heal. You get all, like, fractures within the tendons, and they just. When they heal, they heal all messed up, and then you tear them and they heal all messed up and you tear, and then it's. Pretty soon they're just like, we're done. They have a mind of their own. You're gonna keep doing this to us. We're just done. We're not. We're not gonna do it. And the only way to heal is to give the perfect dose of resistance. Not too little, it's not enough, too much, or else you'll tear it again and it'll get angry and it'll resist you. And so I had to do like 10 air squats with chairs. So I would go down and push myself up, and then I would go 10. Then I would write my notebook. How's the pain today compared to yesterday? Then I'd go down and up for two, and the rest eight were only down. And I would start to add until after a year I was pain free and I was squatting 415 for reps. But it was this slow, progressive overload with just, just in that sweet spot. Just adding enough to where they would trust me to heal. And we're no different in our progress with our management of stress and our ability to stay disciplined. It's the slow volume that you turn up over time. And everybody wants to jump in and be like, okay, I'm David Goggins. And it's like, dude, that guy has been at it for a long time. He's been turning his volume up for many, many, many years. And so with this understanding, then goes away guilt and shame. Because you understand can't just jump ahead 10 years. Every failure you have, you're learning in this process to become a disciplined person. When I understood that, I stopped beating myself up so much for my mistakes and realized I am where I am based upon the effort that I'm putting in over the course of time. And that's it. I can beat myself up for not putting forth the effort that I can. I can beat myself up for sitting in the mud when I slip and not getting back up. Yes, there's guilt and shame in that for sure. That's called quitting. But if you just push forward and you slip along the way, you're in the game. So you don't, you don't even have to worry about anything. Just believe that you're going to win. That's it.
Totally. And we talked about the universe, so I wanted to stay here for just a minute. And then, and then I want to hear the story of how you got even started with this. But I've noticed this in my life and it sounds like this is kind of where you're at and I'm just kind of curious what you think. It's like you went through that shame, you went through the self doubt, you went through all of that. But then once you clear your mind and your mind is clear of all of those limiting beliefs, that's when you're able to see those signs, right, of things that are coming for you and be able to almost see those messages, I call them the messages from the universe. And just kind of wondering if that's been kind of the experience. Is that when things started opening up for you more?
Yeah, I was talking to a buddy earlier and we started paramedic school together. And then I spent like three years working as a paramedic and trying to get a job and I got a job. And it was like in that world, you go to paramedic school, you go to fire academy together. And they're like, dude, Joe got hired in LA or Johnny got hired in Colorado, man. Oh, damn, you got hired. It's a big Deal to get your fire job, get paid job. Everybody's trying, especially at that time. It was after the meltdown of 2008. So everyone who was actually in business or in real estate or in mortgage or in banking was like, I'm gonna be a fireman. So it was like there were lines of 5,000 people trying to get jobs. It was crazy. So when you got a job, it was like a miracle. So he went to Santa Barbara eventually, like three years after I got hired, he struggled to get a job and he finally got this job in Santa Barbara. Well, he gets fired after a year. He got fired. This is his dream. So now we're like seven years in, he doesn't have a fire job. He's like, what am I going to do? And I was like, bro, maybe you should be a nurse or something. He's like, maybe. And he kept at it, he kept pushing. Took him four more years. Eleven years into this game, he gets hired in LA and he's like, now he's like 50 something. He's an older dude already. He's got his dream job. And we were talking about how I actually gave terrible advice. I told him to quit and he just pushed forward and he's got his job now. But we were just talking about the voice that was so powerful within him that even I was his trusted advisor, man, always. He didn't even listen to me because he felt the pull so strong. He's like, no, this is what I must do. That voice, that feeling, that poll, that prompting is the prompting that will guide everything in your life. I call that prompting God. Which then as of like four weeks ago, I started calling him Jesus, which is really, really kind of exciting for me because I've always resisted that idea, being raised in a church and in a box. But I found a different Jesus who's actually super open minded and actually doesn't care if you call him that or not. He's like, you've been following me this whole time. I don't care. Call me the universe. It's like, I just want you to be a good man and have character and integrity. And you've been doing that. So the fact that you know that you're calling it me now is you're ready for it. It's nice. But I don't need that. I don't need you to give me that. I need you to give me your heart. And you already did. That's going to piss off a lot of Christians. But that's okay because that's, that's My story, Right? Yes. It's nobody else's story. Nobody can tell me what my story is or what I believe. I get to choose that. And that voice. Everybody has it. Everybody has that pole of what they must do, what they should give up, what they should become. But most people get stuck somewhere and it's like this. On repeat, broken record. It's like, quit drinking. Quit drinking. Quit drinking. Quit drinking. Like, no, now for like 20 years. And then finally they're like, you know what? I should quit drinking. And then they quit drinking. And all of a sudden the world opens up to them or to see. And they're like, oh, my gosh, I should have done this a long time ago. Well, you've been poked for 20 years and you finally opened it up. What if you would have opened it up 20 years ago, where would you be now? And don't mistake my example for what's right or wrong. I don't believe alcohol to be good or bad. That was just an example that a lot of people have because a lot of people have a problem with it. Something's got you by the balls. God is probably going to tell you, hey, that thing's got you. It's got to go. Is it going to be me and your future and your. And being in power, or is it going to be that substance? You're like, substance. I want both. I want power and substance. And it's like, can't have both because I'm telling you right now, that's the thing. And it's very clear to you, but you just. Nope, nope, nope. It could be, start that business. Start that business. Start that business. I will, I will. I will start it. I mean, I will wait. I'll just maybe let me get to retirement first. I'll do it when I retire. And it's just like all that power is waiting for you to commit. Truly commit. And it's just waiting. It's like God's like, okay, I want to give it to you. Nope, move on. This one's not going to do it. Let's go. Let's go somewhere else.
Wow. I just. Yesterday, one of the things I did a Facebook Live, I'm doing a Start a podcast challenge right now with a bunch of people. And in the live, I pretty much said, don't let this be you. Don't wait until blank. It's like, we all have that. I'm waiting until blank. Don't let that happen. Because I'm waiting until I have time. I'm waiting until my kids are older. I'm waiting until this, until I've done it more, until my mic is done, whatever it is. And it's like, it just. That's what's coming alive for me right now, is just how powerful that I'm waiting until is. And sometimes you just gotta feel that nudge and then do the thing.
Yeah, I absolutely love where I'm at in my life now, where I just do it. Doesn't matter what it is.
How do you do that? How do you. And even advising people. So when you have that nudge and you're getting poked, because this happens a lot. Whether it's weight loss or like you said, the business or traveling or whatever that is, it's coming at you and then you're not doing it. How do you get someone to make that shift, to actually do it?
Step one, get around other people that do that. That's literally the most powerful thing you can do. Just sitting in your house by yourself or in your basement trying to get better. It's not gonna happen. You're gonna always make excuses. If you have someone to actually call you out that's asking you questions like, what is it you actually want? You tell them you're like, this, this, and this and this. And they're like, well, if you don't do that, you're stupid. And you're like, damn, now I just proclaimed this out loud and now it's real. Or you're going to quit something. Like, you're in a group. We do this all the time in our group. I'll always put the charge out to people. Like, is anyone ready to make a declaration? Don't do it if you're not ready. Like, if you. If you're ready, we're here, declare it to us. And we have all kinds of declarations. It could be anything from, I'm going to start posting on social media every day about my weight loss journey. Or all the time we have people being like, ah, the weed. It's the weed. The guy. I gotta finally get rid of the weed. And we'll be like, are you declaring it? Yes. Okay, take your computer, show us, pour water on all that and throw it away. Like, okay. Or they'll dump all their. Their liquor out on the call. And I tell them, don't declare unless you're ready, because you'll freaking curse yourself so bad if you declare it there. I'm gonna do this forever. And then you go back on your word. It's weird, me getting biblical, but this is the representation of when you receive light you'll condemn yourself. And it's not like God's condemning you. You do it to yourself. Because now you've just broken such a massive trust with yourself that to come back from that is very difficult. And so that's why I tell guys, don't declare this until you know for a fact that you will follow through. Hmm. My sons are skateboarders and my 7 year old wanted to drop in on the 14 foot ver ramp. He's like, I'm gonna do it for my birthday. So he just turned seven. He goes up. It's our. At our friend's house close by, giant ramp. He goes to put his board up, looks down. He's like, that's impossible. There's no way. And. And his brothers were making fun of him. They're like, do it. Your security cat. And I, I was kind of like, just leave him alone. Like, tell him, little Ron. And I was like, just keep skateboarding and keep showing up and like get higher on the ramp and like, scrape the coping with your trucks. So we did that. Came back, same thing, couldn't do it. A couple months later, we come back, he goes up and he's like, oh, I got this. Just does it. Like, wasn't at all. It was easy. And then he's like, oh, why was that so scary? That's the same thing in our lives when we commit to things. If you keep pushing and keep, keep failing and getting up, failing. When I say failing, I mean slipping, not failing, because failure is quitting. But you keep slipping, get him going. Slipping. Every time you slip, you're getting taught something. Taught that it's worth it because you keep remembering that I don't feel good when I do this or when I don't do this. I just don't feel right. I feel off. I'm out of alignment. I'm not spiritually connected. I'm frustrated with my wife and my kids. And I look in the mirror, I don't like, who's it the man that I see. And so you start to believe that and at some point you're just fed up and you're like, I'm ready. And those are very powerful moments. It's like a complete change in the human that you are. And you get to choose. I've been through this a lot. Even the last three months have been massive for me because I've done it with, with porn, with anger, with food. But the nutrition side got very serious for me the last quarter. I have this group within Superhuman fathers called the Order of The warrior Monk. And the whole point of the Order of the Warrior Monk is that that is a place where you. You declare and you go deeper in your discipline. You put more on the altar. You get to a place where you just listen and act. So I have this Order of the Warrior Monk, which came from a. A voice in my head when I was snoozing my alarm one morning and I heard it say, get up, you, warrior monk. Those are the words. So if God speaks to me, he says the F word a lot. I think he speaks whatever language works for you. Yeah, but, but. So the idea of the warrior monk was so incredible to me. I was like, what is that? What is this warrior monk thing? And I understood warrior. I understood that. But the monk side, I was like, what is that? And as I studied it more, I realized monk is like the sweet, beautiful, calm, approachable, wise, studious side of you. That's like, I can connect with my wife in a very powerful, spiritual way. The one that is magic. That's the magic side. That's. That. That connects with God. You can hear his voice. That's the monk side. If you're all warrior, I mean, just. Just a bowl in a china shop.
You know, I love that because you're taking all these different things. And I kind of talk about this a lot because actually, David Goggins is someone that I follow and I both three or four times. And there's certain times that I need that, right? I need that hard discipline, that really tough thing and can't hurt me. Got me through a lot of hard times. But then I also like the mind body stuff. But then I can't subscribe fully to it because a lot of times when you're fully in there and you make appointments with people, it doesn't work out. And so I've pulled all these different things, and I think that's what you've done, is you've created this program that pulls all the greatness from all the different ones and sort of made it your own magic.
And then when you're at war, you're full of love. That's the most powerful thing I could find, is, I'm so full of anger. I'm so angry still. But when you take anger and gratitude and compassion, you put them all together. Watch out.
I'd love to hear how you started Superhuman Fathers. Where did that idea come from? And tell us more about it.
That one, it just came to me as this impression to start an Instagram. There was no plan or was there an end goal? Other than to connect with other fathers and hold myself accountable just because I'm angry. I was tired of losing it on my kids and, and then being apathetic and depressed and giving them a half ass energetic husband. And then, then I did have energy. I was just short and sarcastic with my wife. And there's always this barrier between us that I break through every once in a while. When the stars aligned, I was like, oh, we're in love. And then five minutes later, I'm yelling. She's like, cat, you are bipolar. I've been a fireman paramedic for 15 years. I'm sure there's something to do with that because I wasn't always angry when I was a kid, I wasn't. And then life just made me angry, man. And a lot of it's righteous anger. When I was angry with God for a long time, watching kids die, and I'm like, what the fuck is this? I was like, fuck you, dude. If you're out there, you're going to do this to these kids and these families. All this bullshit. I see. But as I realize it, more and more, I'm not angry at God anymore as I live a harder life. And I see, I see that people go through hardships and get stronger and it makes them who they are. And I look back at my life and everything hard I've been through has created me into this person that can literally show up in a room and bless the lives of everyone in that room. And if I hadn't gone through the. And seen all the terror that I've seen, I couldn't be this man. It'd be impossible. And so I'm like, there's something magic here. And then also to realize God looks at the body as machine and the blood is like oil. It's a machine. He's like, it's not even your. It's like your spirit is in. In this machine. It created blood and engines, these organic pieces to make the machine work. But it's not gross to him or it's not shocking to have someone's head fall off. He's like, oh, that machine's broken. I'll just bring the spirit back to me. It's just a different mindset when I was angry. Oh, my God, this is so terrible. God's like, I'm just bringing a child back into my arms. You guys are the ones that are stuck here still. So it was a different perspective, but going back to superhuman father. So it started to just grow. And then I had a coach, Wes Watson, who was a friend of mine, we were kids and he got out of prison. And I heard he got out of prison. I saw what he's doing. I was like, hey, man, I want to learn some stuff about getting my fitness dialed in better, and I would love to have you as my coach. So I started working with him. And when I started with him, obvious, I was like, dude, I need to learn how to be an entrepreneur. This is dumb. I need to make more money for my family. This. What am I doing? I'm holding myself back. I was holding myself like I was physically fit. He had seen me back then. You'd be like, oh, that's a fit guy. But I was like, I can take this to the next level. I was like, oh, I can take this to the next level. I can take this. And I've been leaving a lot on the table. I didn't realize it, so I was getting complacent. And so at that point, that's when I found Ryan Moran and signed up for the Capitalism Incubator. I started the supplement company, and I didn't really talk to Wes about any of it till we were on a Zoom call. I was like, yeah, start this supplement company. Check it out. This. He's like, oh, that's rad, man. And then at some point, he was like, hey, man, what. Why are you not doing coaching with the superhuman fathers thing? I was like, coaching? He's like, yeah. And he told me, he's like, you do the most, man. You got five kids, you're at the firehouse. I see you skateboarding, surfing, doing jiu jitsu, never missing a workout. You're ripped. You're 40 something, like, almost 40. And your wife's really healthy and ripped and knows nutrition. Your family should be on a. I was like, your channel, bro. You need to do this. I was like, kind of take it back. I was like, damn. Okay, well, I just put it out on Instagram and I got like 20 DMs right away, and everybody signed up. Wow, an Insta business. I was like, wait, I don't have to work overtime this month. And I was like, I just made $5,000. It was crazy. I was running around, I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. Me, $5,000. I talk about. I was like, take my breath away. I couldn't believe that someone would invest in me.
Yeah, you.
You're going to pay me to help you, But I'm not perfect. I got problems. But what I realized was our world was not normal. We live a Very special life. But I didn't see it until I started to really see what was going on out there and the struggles that men were having. And as I was able to really help people over and over again. 20 turned to 50, which turned to 100 turned to 200, which turned to 400, was turned to 500. And now we're like 540. And now I know, I know you come here, we will light your life on fire. That's an absolute fact. And any conversation I have with anyone, if they are even slightly open to change, I will change their life in a 30 minute conversation. And to have that level of confidence in my ability to bless people has just lit my own personal life on fire. Because it's always a mirror. Anything I give back, I get reflected back to me. And so I just can't enjoy this more. I love it. I've been on the phone with three guys that I'll never see a dollar from. I don't know, maybe in a decade when they get their together. I talk to people all day. I don't care if they can pay me or not. Zero care, don't care, I don't know. I made 20 grand yesterday. And yeah, and I've just been obsessed with helping people since I was a little kid. These conversations, like when I'm in a conversation with someone has a problem, I just can't help but ask questions like, what about this? You ever think of this? And I'll just always try to guide people to an answer. Since I was like five years old, I didn't even know that I was doing that until I started coaching. I was like, I've been a coach my whole life. I just didn't know it.
And you weren't getting paid for it. Now you are.
And I'm still not even really trying to get paid for it. But yeah, although I am getting good at the clothes. If you talk to me, I'm going to push you against the wall. You're going to make a decision.
What do you think about what you do helps people? Because what you're doing is you're helping people do the thing right? And you're helping not only do the thing, but doing it out of their deepest desires of wanting to be the best version of themselves, not only for them, but you're appealing to the fathers. Right. And to be able to do that for their families. And what do you think about what you're doing that's really kind of making that impact?
What is it that I do that actually makes the Change?
Yeah.
I lead by example. This idea of leveraging discipline for spiritual power, that's what I do. And that's what I've done for a long time. And I'm getting better at it. And so when I show up, I show up in power. And so when you show up in power, you show up undeniable. And there's a vibration and a feeling that comes with that. It's all about how people feel. And so when people talk to me, they're like, I want that. That what? I don't know what that is, but I want. Yeah, put a finger on it. Because it's a feeling. It's a feeling of power, capability, and passion and purpose. That's what I give people. I take it and I give it to you. Thing is, when you first start, you have to be around me or my men to get it. And then after a while, you learn how to produce it yourself through the way that you're living and your mindset and your intent. And then you become the source, and then you become a leader. That's how leaders create leaders. And when you do that, this message is ultimately expandable, which is really cool, as long as it's set up right, with the right accountability. I have men here that are so dedicated to character and integrity, they will die right now, right now for the message. What is the message? Doing the right thing. That's it. That's it. Being authentic and doing the right thing and being honest. That is the message. And that's what these men will die for. They will not sell their integrity. That's Braveheart. Shit. I watched Braveheart as a kid, and I was like, that's it.
What got you to quit your job?
Well, I had a year leave of absence, and then I'm sitting at that conference Capcom, and I got an email, and it said, hey, are you ready to come back on Monday? And I was like, thought I had a month left. I like a wait. I go, I have two days. Supposed to go back Monday. I'm like, I'm not going back. She's like, no, you're not. And I was like, are we doing this? Like, okay, let's go. That's where he sat down, made that phone call, and put my job right there. Wow. Yeah.
So how does that feel now that you know that this is your life's work? Pretty much.
I already knew I was trying to hang on to the fire stuff just because I like it. And it was kind of. It's kind of my identity, even almost kind of ego thing. Too, because. But at the same time, I really like to use that as a tool. And that's part of why I grew so fast, because I was in the firehouse and building this at the same time. And then I would have 10 appointments set up, and then I get forced down in overtime. And so I'm, like, running calls and trying to do these calls and juggling this. And then at night, I was building the programming. I was doing all the programming myself and then doing all the coaching myself. I didn't sleep for like a year. I just wrote off sleep. I don't sleep. I just don't. I don't need it. I just told myself I didn't need to sleep, and so I just didn't. And I didn't sleep. I take little naps, but I didn't sleep. I just worked. That's what it took to escape, because I had to build something amazing while I was in it. And I timed it to have a leave of absence to where I. I left. I was able to kind of get momentum during the year to see where we would end up in a year, to see if I was in a position to leave. But now I make more in a day than I did in a month.
Wow.
Yeah.
What do you think has been the hardest thing for you while you've been building that business?
Personal accountability. Like, truly being the leader. Because if you want to lead men, you have to rise above massively. And most coaches and leaders of men are absolute fakes and hypocrites, including pastors. They're not listening. They're complacent. Just look at the belly hanging over their pants. If you have a pastor and he's fat, he's not connected to God. He's not. He's not listening. He's not taking care of his body. You're not listening. That's your next boulder. He's poking you. Hey, hey. Get your nutrition in order. You picture a man of God stuffing his face with pizza, having another one and having another one and another one and another one. You're not going to be connected, and that's just an example, are there? Yeah. There's great men, Great men out there. So if someone's listening to they're mad, it's probably because you're not living it. Because if you're one of those great men, you're going to say, yep, I get it. I'm not even banging on you. I'm calling you out. I'm saying, live your message or at least speak the truth that you're living. That's what a leader does. Can't be perfect. I get it. But when you screw up, tell your people. Don't hide it.
I love that connection point of someone stuffing their face, not living in God's message. I think that's really. It's a why of why you should stay fit. Right? It's because you want to hear that and be able to move through it. I'm just kind of wondering, how does someone actually listen, though? And to be able to move forward and do the things that you want.
It'S hearing the voice that's already there. It's talking to you right now. You just have to find the voice. How do you find the voice? You take steps in the dark to make it louder. Meaning? If you feel an inclination, then make the move. Stop making excuses. Just make the move. There's an inclination. I. This feels like I. A good idea. I should do this. Do it. I should give this up. Should I give this up? Yes. Yes, you should. For me, it's recently, it's been nicotine pouches, fireman man Zins. That's how we get through the night. But I was on a call, and I was actually on a call, and I felt this. I was about to pop one in, and it was so clear. It was like, this stuff's got you by the balls. It's time to let it go. I didn't even think about it before, but it was in that moment.
Yeah.
Hold on a second. I was with a client. I walked in the kitchen, and I took a bag of these Zins. And I love these things, by the way. I mean, I love them. And then I. I take them, and I. I go to the trash can, and I'm like, I get my kids. I go, hey, Gavin, Parker, Ronan, Cooper, come here. And I told my wife to come. I go, I'm throwing these all away. I'm done with this. I threw it away. Bought those for you. That's like 100 bucks. I go, I know it's better to. Because it's more. More sacrifice. And once I did that, it all opened to me. Within the next few days, it was like, your monsters are gone. Your diet sodas are gone. And then I was in the pantry. Is gonna get a protein bar. I was like, no, not those either. You don't get those. And I was like, whoa, this is getting deep. And then I was at my kid's birthday party, and I go to get a piece of cake. It's like, not for you. They get it, but you don't And I was like, why? Why don't I. Why? I understood the concept.
Yeah.
But it was so hard at the mo. At the time, because I understand the voice. I know that this is it. At this point in my life, I understand what that feeling is. And I know what that prompting means. It means listen or wonder for the rest of your life. Why? You'll never know. But if you go, you'll know. And so I start explaining this to my people on our Zoom calls. Well, I'd like to. 90 guys on our Monday morning Zoom call. And I talk about this all the time with the guys. I'm like, the pole took away my nicotine. It took away my monsters and my diet sodas. And. And we talk about declaring, right? So I declared to the men. I got declarations to make. I got a lot of them. And I was like, no more this, no more that. I'm like, no more cake, cookies, candy, ice cream. Gone forever. My declaration is, I'm putting it on the altar for the rest of my life till I die. And they were like, holy. It was silence, huh? And then what happens? I start getting messages. Yeah, I'm a queen. Drinking. Equip my weed. I'm gonna quit my porn. I'm gonna quit yelling at my wife. I'm gonna quit drinking. I'm gonna quit drinking. I'm gonna quit my drugs, man. I've been doing this, and I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna quit this. And it was like these voices, and just hundreds of them, hundreds of them kept coming. So then I knew, and I learned, right. What real leadership is. Real leadership is sacrifice.
I would love to hear what your number one piece of advice for people is on doing the thing.
It's probably in the same vein. Just trust. Trust and believe. Trust and believe. And then. And then this idea of willingness and acceptance where it's like, okay, I am willing to do whatever it takes, and then do that. That's doing the thing is being willing. But it's not always gonna. It's actually never gonna work out the way you want it to. So you have to accept that this is the path. So, like, when you fall in that hole and you're like, how did I get here? That was a terrible decision. No, it wasn't. That was the only way. This is your route right now. You're invincible and fearless, because whatever happens, you're willing and you accept. And so now you can just move fearlessly through life.
I think that's such a beautiful way to look at regret, because I Think so many people can regret things, but to know that's part of your path and that was meant to happen is really powerful, too.
Yeah. And that goes back to this thing. Regret is real. It is real. And the regret only happens when you sit on these inclinations. Oh, regret you will. Because sitting on your inclinations is not meant to be. What was meant to be is for you to listen and move. That's what's meant to be. So people with regret are those that don't listen and they don't act.
What is coming alive for you right now? After this conversation today.
I just feel like I. I'm just in power. I feel like, especially the last couple months since I've made these declarations, I've been unstoppable. My income has increased massively. My ability to lead the way that I feel when I enter a room, my ability to give power to others was all on the other side of my declarations to put my bullshit on the altar. So anyone listening to this, if you're looking for the next level, it's in your commitment to that, in everything. Your marriage, your relation with your kids, the growth of your business. That's the key.
And if someone wants to make a declaration in their life, what would be the way they would do that?
You better have a tribe. Tribe of people that are ahead of you. I'll hold you accountable and understand this process. So that's always my invitation. Join us. Come join us always. Because good luck finding it. Good luck. Go to your neighborhood bar, the watering hole, and go see if you can find some people that live and talk like this. There are very few people in this world that understand and live this concept. Very few. A lot of people talk about it. They talk around it, they talk about it. Very few people actually live it. And there's probably people out there that would look at me and be like, oh, beginner, I get it. I accept that.
Please share with everyone where they can find out about you. And also your Instagram too.
Yeah, Instagram is probably the best spot at Superhuman Fathers. If you want to apply to be part of our brotherhood and coaching superhumanfathers.com and then I'll give you my phone number to be like, what? Give me your phone number? Yeah, this is my phone number. 760-277-7219. And yeah, you can text me or call me, and it's me on the other side. And I don't have people that answer my DMs or have fake robots, and I actually hate that bullshit. So if you're ever trying to sell me something and find out that that Wasn't you that DM'd me, you can all.
I love that. This whole thing started with a rough draft goal of you just wanting to connect with other people on Instagram, and it just started from that. And now all this stuff is opening up for you and for so many other people too.
Yeah. I know for a fact that this is just a tiny little sliver of where this is going. I already see it. The same feeling you have when you got to act and make a move.
Yeah.
Feeling when I see hundreds of thousands of superhuman fathers all over the world, I see massive gatherings. Massive.
What do you see happening at the gatherings? Just curious. What does that look like to you?
Just similar. This understanding of declarations, moving forward, holding people accountable. This. This high vibration. Because a lot of people don't even know what that is. They've never felt it. Oh. It feels like they're like, what are you talking about? What is this vibration you're talking about? I'm like, come here. And I have a conversation with them, and if they're open at all, some people are completely closed, and I hit a brick wall. There's nothing there. I'm like, that was a dead conversation. That is a dead human. It's fine. But if there's any opening, there will be a buzzing that a lot of people have never felt before because of me. I'm just good at tapping into it because I'm a source. I've earned that. I've learned that so I can give it to others. And like I said in the beginning, you're creating sources. Because when you're the source of that high vibration, man, you bring that home to your wife. That's what she gets to be married to. It's like high vibrating spirit that always brings positivity. And no matter how shitty stuff gets, it's like, we got this. I got you. We gotta sleep on the streets tonight. Listen, we'll get some. Some old food out of this dumpster. We'll figure it out. Oh, we'll rise. It's all good. That's who you bring to your kids. That's who leads your teams. My percentage of being in that vibration now is coming up significantly. We used to be like, 50 50. And that's pretty damn good. You're 50, 50. High vibrations. But I'm getting into the 90s now, where it's all the time. Every once I'll wake up in the morning, it's like me, but. But very rarely now.
Yeah. Do you have any parting words for the listeners?
Oh, just this is all about winning and crushing life and then putting your ego to the side and serving others in your wins. You win in order to inspire others, period. And then your ego will get jerked off a little bit. It's like. It feels good. Give it a second. Okay. Now just go give it to other people.
Thanks so much for doing this with me. It was really fun.
Yeah, it was fun. I'm glad we did. It was perfect timing and it was like, I told you. I was all pent up. Like I.
And for the listeners, do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it.
Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the thing. Do you have a burning question on doing the thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at dothething callcast co or email us@helloothething podcast.com.
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