Own Your Play: How 5 Leaders Turned Play Into Purpose, Connection, and Courage

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. Well, you guys, I'm so excited because we have the most expert panel lined up for you today. This is going to be about a challenge that we're going to be doing inside of the modern prairie community. With my. I was saying this this morning, but it's like partner in crime, partner kindness, partner in hope, partner in inspiration. Laura Carney. The Ernie to my Bert to your Ernie. Oh, yeah.

Bert thing to say the.

The Bert in my Ernie. We've been working together and supporting the modern prairie community for the last year. Since we ran the bucket list challenge and the do the thing community, we've been doing that inside the modern prairie community. And so we've been on lots of these extra panels together, planning these challenges. And so it's so excited to be doing this with her and the experts that she's assembled already. Just, I feel like the energy is already infusing me in the moments that we've had just talking before the recording has started. And so I'm so excited to have Laura introduce each of the experts. And what you're about to learn is you're going to see this kind of active collaboration of brainstorming of us co creating this challenge called own your play.

So, Laura, take it away.

Okay. My favorite part of the panel where I get to tell everyone how awesome everyone is who's in this room. All right, first we have Melissa Lorena. Melissa Lorena is the number one Amazon best selling author of Fertile Imagination, Every mom's Superpower, and a coach, speaker, and contributor to Forbes women articles that have garnered 4 million plus views. She is also the host of the mom founder Imagination Hub podcast, the podcast for entrepreneurs, founders and creators who are also moms. Featured guests include Gary V. And Beth Comstock. Melissa holds a psychology degree from New York University, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate. She is a certified meditation practitioner who attributes her practice to Taking the edge off of motherhood. Melissa lives in New Cannon, Connecticut with her husband and three sons. Then we have Melissa Bright. Melissa Bright is a certified self worth coach dedicated to helping people break free from self doubt, limiting beliefs and the fears that hold them back. With a compassionate, empowering approach, Melissa guides clients to reconnect with their true value and take confident action toward their dreams. Through her coaching, she helps individuals understand and reframe the negative beliefs that undermine their self worth, opening doors to a life filled with purpose and possibility. Melissa's coaching provides practical tools and insights that foster lasting mindset shifts, helping people overcome fear of failure and step fully into their potential. Next we have Lisa Niver. Lisa and I share a publisher. That's how Lisa and I met. Lisa Niver is a telly award winning travel journalist and TV host and the author of the award winning memoir and bravish one breakup, six continents and feeling fearless after 50. She's explored over 100 countries on all seven continents with bylines and USA Today, 10Best, the Los Angeles Times and Wired. The host of the podcast make youe Own Map, Lisa inspires audiences worldwide through her bold adventures, powerful storytelling and passion for reinvention. And finally we have Darcy Bolden. Darcy Bolden is a manifesting mastery and reality creation teacher and a highly gifted light language channel. Darcy uncovered the true power of working with the quantum field and the non physical to create massive transformation not only in her own life, but also the lives of hundreds of others. She went from weighing almost 300 pounds and being broke to losing 130 pounds and truly living the dream, traveling and adventuring full time doing what she calls going on a living spree. She has devoted her life to sharing these very unique manifesting techniques and her channeling to help others create the life they most desire. Wow.

So good. Thank you so much ladies for being here. Laura, as I'm sitting here listening to you share the introductions for each of the experts, I'm thinking about you and just what you've done now since we've been in the modern prairie community and hosting these challenges, just leaving that alone and how this is actually birthed from another challenge you created inside the community called Follow youw Heart. And so Own youn Play is birthed from I feel almost even you seeing the group. But what was needed next and I'd love to maybe have you share a little bit about what that is so we can kind of tap into the energy of what we're doing.

Yeah, it's interesting because I always I application yesterday. It was this creative process podcast wrote to me or something, and they're like, tell us about your research. Tell us about your writing routine. They always want to know your writing routines. I'm sure the writers in this group are familiar with that. And I told them, I do this weird thing now when I research where I follow my subconscious. If something in the back of my mind is like, do this, read this, watch this. I'm like, okay, got it. I'll do it. So one of the things I did, which now sounds so crazy and corny to me, last summer, I read the wizard of Oz, the book version, which I had never done before. And then at the same time, I was studying this manifestor, Florence Scobell Shinn, who was popular. Oh, I love that you're shaking your head. Darcy. She was popular in the early 1900s, and she and a few other people were into the school of thought. It's not really a religion, but it sort of acts like one called theosophy, and. Oh, Darcy knows what that is. Okay, cool. I had never heard of it before. And so it's rumored. And, of course, all these pieces started to come together for me. It's rumored that L. Frank Baum, when he wrote the wizard of Oz, was applying to the tenets of theosophy. And so the different characters in the wizard of Oz all represent the things you have to do to transform, to reinvent yourself, to experience a rebirth. And one of those things was the fact that Dorothy left Oz. So I thought, well, that's sort of like our bucket list challenge. That was our first class that we taught for Modern Prairie. And the one that we did that Darcy was a student at on Facebook. That's the idea of respecting your dreams, treating them like they're real. The next part was you have to change your beliefs and your mindset, and that's the Scarecrow. And that's what we did with find you'd Voice, because Find you'd voice was our next class. And when we did that, we started to learn how much our students needed to be heard, and they needed to figure out what their own voice even sounded like. And you told me yourself that you sort of altered that class a little bit once you met me, because you realized I had a very internal way of finding my voice when I did my dad's bucket list. And then the next one was follow your heart, which I don't know if I even realized when I invented it. Now I'm at the Tin man because it's the. The idea is, once you have figured out that I respect my dreams. I have a new way of looking at myself. I've gotten rid of my limiting beliefs about life and myself. Now you have to be willing to be open and extend yourself to other people. And when you let yourself love other people and let them into your heart more, then you start getting better at loving yourself. So that's really what Follow youw Heart was about. So the natural follow up to that is own your play, which is, of course, the cowardly lion. So that's what everyone in this room is here to teach us how to be. Because every single person here had to apply.

I don't know.

I can't think of a better way of putting it than the courage to look silly, to not care if that's what you look like while you're having fun. And if you cannot get in touch with your inner child and you can't remember what that felt like, to do things purely because they're fun, there's no purpose except that it's just a really good time. You cannot reignite your creativity. And the creativity component of this is so crucial to figuring out who you really are or reinventing yourself at a crossroads. So that's my long answer for how I came to this challenge.

Wow.

What's coming up? Hold on. I gotta get it. I'm really excited because one of the things I've been doing is this comfort circle map, which is basically a horse, where you're still silent, you're not speaking up yet. You're internally processing and things like that. And then you find your voice, and then you share your voice, and then you monetize your voice, create your movement, global reach. Not everyone goes through each circle, but some people do. And at each level is finding your voice. And as you're talking, I'm here now, right. Where I'm helping people now create their own movements. And so I was talking the other day with my boyfriend, and I was like, I feel like now that I'm in this solving the world's problems stage of my life, I'm not having just fun anymore, just to have fun. And so maybe Own youn Play will be something I need more than anybody. But, yeah, so it's really exciting.

You just need to remember, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the timing of this is really good. But, yeah, I would love to hear just from each of you, hearing Laura say that and kind of what you feel as we're owning our play. Darcy.

Yeah, I'm just about ready to bust out here. So when I heard Laura speak About that. That's been my life. As she read my intro. Like I said, I used to be almost 300 pounds. Seriously broker than a joke, living in a suburb apartment, just wishing and dreaming of a different life. What would it be like to go traveling and be a showgirl or a model and all of those things. And I just. In an instant, in a choice, I just decided if I created all of this mess, I mean, it's like, then I can create it differently. So to make a very long story short, what I did in my late 40s, just say 48 at the time, I ditched everything I owned. I manifested an rv, and I hit the road indefinitely with no. I had 12 bucks to my name. And here it is six years later. I mean, I'm still on the road. Like I said, my driver's license says Austin, Texas, but I love it. Laura, what you said about that risk of being silly or. My favorite thing I've ever learned in this planet is from Stacy Lauren about just do it messy and it doesn't need to make sense.

Right?

And that's I. Because everybody around me is like, this makes no sense, Darc. And instead of me trying to make it make sense for other people, I just talk about following your heart. I'm like, all I know is I'm just. I want to go and I want to go check all these things off my bucket list. And I'm still living like that. So I just had to bust that out. Because like you said, it's just when you're following the hollerings of your heart and you let it not make sense and you don't try to make it make sense to other people and you just do it messy. And that's where the magic starts happening right there.

Thank you.

Yeah. And if I could just chime in, I would say that a lot of folks that might be tuning in and listening and being inspired by our stories, they might be surrounded by very serious people. I almost feel like we need an acronym or something that's just widely accepted. And here's the thing. Secretly behind the scenes. Having had so many conversations with super serious corporate executive folks, secretly behind the scenes, they are actually some of the funniest, quirkiest, wildest bunch. I mean, just think about this idea that if you're out there and your.

Boss just looks super serious, chances are.

They were a big fan of the Flock of Eagles or Seagulls. What was the name of that 80s band with the funny hair? This is what I think can support anyone, especially if you're going into a room and you feel a little intimidated and you want to have that conversation. The element of play is such a tool and I think it's valid if you're an entrepreneur or you work for someone else. Obviously deliver the results always. But it's just helpful. It's certainly helped me and being silly in front of people. I think as we think about mental health and a lot of individuals that might struggle with mental health, having been a daughter to someone with manic depression, this idea of looking erratic or sporadic or unexpected expected has been so common for me as a kid with real world implications in terms of mental health that now I can stand firmly and be like, what? Yeah, I could be super serious. But you know what? I get to control my brain in the way that I can and behave differently in order to beget richer conversations and deeper relationships that are more real as opposed to fake. And so I love it. I've been playing since before I had three kids. So I've never stopped. So yeah, that's my truth.

Thank you. And Lisa, or I see Melissa going first.

Sorry.

Sure. Yes.

So whenever Laura asked me to do this and I was thinking about Own youn Play, she had mentioned something about me manifesting my car, which I will get into in a little bit. But I also am big into manifestation and I listen to a lot. I'm sure Darcy will nod her head. Neville Goddard, I listen to him constantly and he always reminds us that our imagination is the start of literally everything that we see. It's the start. Somebody thought this and I feel like as children we were encouraged to dream. We were encouraged to be do whatever our hearts desires were. But then somewhere along the line life things happened. We experienced pain, loss, grief, what have you. And then people kind of get into this survival mode and they stop dreaming. They unfortunately are using their imagination to sometimes bring about things a bit that they don't want. So if we can actually use our imagination, like Darcy said, she had said before how I manifested my car, I'm like, if I can do that, it's a certain number, it's a certain price. The universe doesn't care what amount. So I'm going to try to manifest something bigger. But the whole point of me saying this is this play of getting back to this imagination. Every single one of us has it and to dream again because it's possible to manifest the things that you literally can't even imagine. And we say that so many times when bad things happen. I could not imagine that that would happen. Me losing my mom at 25 could never have ever said that that was going to be my life. And it was. But the opposite side. The most miracles can also happen in your life. And I want to remind people that play is dreaming and imagining and we have that accessible at any time.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Well, I just have to say I'm super happy that I wore my sparkle shirt today. This one, actually. The sparkles change I put on this way because it's Rainbow Pride month. And it's funny how I always talk about sparkling. Small steps lead to big changes. And in my book, I did 50 challenges before I turned 50 to reinvent myself after my divorce. And one of the biggest things I talk about when I'm speaking is about small steps. And I think wearing sparkles or changing the color of your bedspread. And there are small steps that are maybe more low stakes that people can start with about playing that I think really make a difference, that it doesn't have to be. One day you woke up and you were the cowardly lion, and the next day you solved all your problems. And I find that sometimes when people see someone that has a self worth program or a book or they're out on the road in the RV, they're seeing that's step 1000. And I think that's a really important thing for people that I interviewed Lisa Genovel on my podcast. She's a neuroscientist and she talks about that you could drive home on a different street. And that's a really small step that you. You generally drive home the exact same way every single day if you commute by car or when people used to go somewhere. But if you leave your house ever that you go on a different street and you're like, oh, one street over is a Thai restaurant. Maybe I'm gonna go to the Thai restaurant. Maybe five years later you actually go to Thailand. But that starts with you went on a different street. And I think that's really important for play. You were talking, Melissa, about having three kids. Buy yourself play doh or I'll give you the recipe. You can make your own play dough. That it can be something tiny to get started.

I love that you said that, Lisa, because that was actually one of our dares last time.

Okay.

Follow your heart. It was take an unfamiliar route today. And that was actually one of the reasons that we came up with on youn Play because they loved it. It was like, oh, I went somewhere different and I saw something new. And even some of them were even finding the little Symbols like, oh, I found a heart, and this connected with me, and maybe I was meant to take this street. And it's like, yes, that's the beginning.

I want to just throw in there, too. Like, what Lisa said. It's right. Like you said. You hear all these stories, but she's so right when she said that there were bunches of these little steps that led the way. And that's why I love these challenges like this, because it gives you the opportunity to step into something like this because you feel like you have some accountability. And, well, of course, Stacy. And she says, I dare you. But that turns me on. Like, oh, yeah, okay. But one of the things that. That I've been.

And I'm.

And I share this here because it works so well. And it's kind of the same thing, like, with these challenges is I have a 21 days in a row challenge. I got another one coming up here in a few weeks. But is that you just choose to do and. Or not do something. Can you do it for 21 days? And I say in a row and just little things. So, for example, when I originally started losing weight, that's when I started playing this. It was like, okay, I didn't even realize I had over a hundred pounds to lose. In my mind, I thought, I just need to get off £40. When I get on the scale, it's like, oh, my God. Okay, okay. But anyway, then it's like, I found that program. It's like, okay, can I stay on this program? Can I do this for just one day? Can I just do this program one day now? Okay, can I do it for two days in a row? Can I now? Can I do it three days in a row? And four days? And it ended up being 365 days in a row, and I lost a hundred. But I do that with so many things. And to play off of what Lisa said is what I call the anomalous action challenge in 21 days, that you do something different every day for 21 days in a row. So instead of, like, turning left out of your driveway, maybe going right out of your driveway, or just something that you normally do instead of getting out of the bed on the left side that the next day, like, you, okay, I'll get out of bed on the right side. You will blow your mind at how much your world shifts, because all of a sudden, you're starting to see things in a different perspective or feel things different in your body. But just that little bit alone, what Lisa shared is huge.

I thought this could be a good time to share with you guys. The way the challenge framework works is it's built on deep connection and collective action inside the community. And something Laura and I noticed during the follow your heart challenge was a lot of the women in the community are homebound. And so what was amazing about that was then we actually got them to play inside the community, whereas we were originally having them play outside, which is good, right? But I wanted to at least kind of share the comfort circle framework. This is just one comfort circle example that we use inside the challenge, which is just how to interact with each other in the group. And so when we give them a dare, some of them write the answer. Some of them will audio record it, some of them will video it. And I think they even just turned on the live feature in there. And then I have a new thing I'm doing now which is called my people party, which is where they kind of get together and they do the dares together just on a zoom. And so just curious from a comfort circle perspective. So that. Let's say some women are out and about and they're gonna wear their sparkle shirt out on the town, and some of them may be on the zoom. If you have any thoughts on just kind of meeting people where they are while still kind of owning their play.

I would say as I was writing my book, which literally has the name Imagination, because that was so important to the whole topic of just feeling alive again and owning my play in my own way, I think it's so tailored and so personal. When I shared my book transcript with a psychiatrist, Psychiatrist, for example, who happened to have been my college tutor in 1997, she read a section where I got on stage, and I was telling my story, and it was at the Magnet Theater in New York City, and I was suggesting to readers to find a way to perform, right? And that psychiatrist then told me, oh, my God, Melissa, that gave me some so much anxiety. And I thought to myself, to your point, Stacy, it's like, okay, so clearly that's within my comfort zone. Getting up on stage, right? Something that people often are petrified by, but it might not be within anyone else's comfort zone. And so I think that's also where using your imagination comes into play for you specifically. So it's really just doing something that gives you almost that tiny little feeling in your tummy. Maybe it's nervous energy or like, oh, my goodness, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Or who am I?

Or what are they going to say? Yeah, that thing might be outside of your specific comfort zone. Just like a challenge might be not so challenging for me, but very challenging for someone else. So you have to really know yourself. Which is why when I think about how to play, I always start with, okay, what do I need right now? And also, what would be wacky? Literally, I've told myself that. But at the same time, what's going to stretch me? Because I've done some really cool things that I'm like, that's not enough. I want more. I'm not a junkie in that respect, adrenaline junkie or whatever. But I think it's personal to your point, Stacy. And I think it's also just feeling good that, yeah, that was outside of my comfort zone, pressing submit on an article or talking to a stranger at a Starbucks line or asking for a discount. And I think it's okay if it was outside of your comfort zone for you personally. Own it, love it, be excited by it, and don't judge what's within your comfort zone versus why can't I do a live stream and talk to a bazillion people? This is not some sort of competition.

It's.

It's you versus you, quote, unquote.

Lisa, I'm feeling you. I don't know if you want to.

Just trying to think what you said about homebound. And it makes me think about COVID And when I was not, I traveled nearly full time. And during COVID I had to respect some family health issues. And I was home in Los Angeles a very, very long time. And I took a lot of classes through ucla. And I'm just trying to think all the things that I did do when I was felt stuck at home walking on the beach. And for me, I really wrote most of my book during COVID And one of the things that it makes me think of is I ended up doing. My agent had suggested we did this TikTok challenge. There was a workshop, and the workshop was you to make five TikToks a day for 30 days. And every author in the group was like, no, I'm too old. I'm too ugly. I don't do that. And I remember I just agreed to do one day. I did one day. I did five of them. Eventually, like Darcy was saying, I did the 30 days. In fact, I did 90 days. At the end of 90 days, I signed my publishing contract of the same publisher as Laura. And I do just think that such a hard feeling when someone recommends something and your instinct is just, no, no, no, no, no. That's my whole book, my 50 challenges. Every single one, I said no before I did it. So I feel there's so much when you say that to me, homebound, that people are kind of owning their limitation and that just because you're home. Or when we all together went through the global pandemic and no one knew what was gonna happen next. Or now here in Los Angeles, there's part of Los Angeles with curfew. Because we're having a lot of challenges in our city right now. And that's for today. And then, like Darcy said, you start day one, you're like, I'm gonna lose some weight. And day two, I'm gonna keep going. A play is a really big part of that for me. During COVID I know when I was stuck at home, I did a lot of art. I had all of these coloring books. So that was really fun for me.

I'm writing all this down. I'm like, the challenge is happening. It's so good. And Melissa V. Yeah.

Thank you.

So remind me of the question again. I just want to make sure that I understand.

Thank you.

And, Laura, do you want to ask it in your way too? Because I feel like we can even. Yeah.

Oh. We're. We're talking about ways to inspire our students in Modern Prairie who are homebound, and.

Yeah. So this one, I'm actually imagining the comfort circle right now and what that could look like for all different levels of people. Cause there are also some that are out kind of in the wild.

Yeah. I mean, so as. As an example of this, which I think Stacy was touching on before, one of our dares last time was talk to a stranger or call an old friend or something like that. And some of them would say, oh, but I can't go out and talk to a stranger. So then we changed it to talk to someone within the app on Modern Prairie who you don't know. So we had to find creative ways. And what I'm hoping to do, the dares that we've written for this one, there are a good number of them that do involve arts and crafts and also more artistic elements. There's so many ways to own your creativity. So what suggestions would you have so that everybody feels like they all belong to what we're doing?

Yeah. So it's funny that this is kind of the question, because I would consider myself homebound. I am home every day of my life, man. I think whatever was like in the dare, those. Those steps, like you said, finding what could be within that, and nothing is coming to Mind right now, do you have an example of what one of the dares is, or do you say it here? If you don't. That's okay.

No, no, that's fine. Yeah. I'm trying to think of some of the indoor ones. We have a good number of them. Let me think. Let me think. What I would love to do is draw a picture of your pet.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's one I'm very excited about, because I actually did do that. It doesn't have to be good. That's not the final product.

Scott Laura's book. And one of the things that you did was you grew watermelons. Right.

That.

I think that sometimes our vision of creativity is small. For me, I loved since I was a little girl to draw, and so I always have different color markers. But when I was teaching, one of the most important things I had in every school I was in was a garden. Because watching the magic of seeds turn into plants, I think can spark something for people. And you're talking about reinvention and people changing. And I think watching. There's certain plants you could buy. I think marigolds sprout within a week. Like, it would fit in any challenge. And I think that something you. You can. Now, we have so many things that order and send things to your house. You could have that happen even from the supermarket. They could send you seeds.

I'm glad you mentioned that, because I do actually want to use that as one of them. Grow something from seed, because it's such like. I've done that now a few times. It's like, I'm always insisting on seeds for some reason. So I have all these packets of seeds in my kitchen, and my husband thinks I'm losing my money. But it's just super fun. Is there something so rewarding when you see just a tiny little seed and then something pops up? Maybe it's a metaphor for something that happened to me.

I literally just celebrated this morning. I'm doing a Roma tomato plant outside, and I have been obsessively looking at this thing as we do, and it's doing its process like it does, and there it is. And I'm like, yes, success. It's not there, but it happened. And this is really a metaphor for life. It truly is. And I want that reminder every day that, as I said, Neville Goddard, he always talks about it. When you plant the seed of what you want, you don't dig it up every day and say, is it happening? Is it happening? You trust the law of nature to do what Nature does. And can I tell you something really.

Can I tell you something really woo woo that happened just in the past?

Please.

I'm a woo woo.

All right. So I don't know, some of you are familiar with my experience with my dad's bucket list. One of the items on the list was plant an apple tree. And that was a Covid activity for me. And as Lisa was saying, just planting things really got me through that time. I planted apple trees just from seed on my porch. Then as the pandemic was clearing and we were allowed to go out again, I found spots to put each of the trees. And during that time period, I named each tree after a family member. And so the one that's named after my dad is now at his high school. And they just got a plaque for it. So that's very touching and exciting. But there was one I named after me, and they let me plant that in the park down the street where I did my running, which made sense to me because I processed a lot of. I used to call it cronning, crying while running. I processed a lot of grief in that park. But then last summer, one day, my husband sent me a picture of the spot where the tree stood, and it was gone. They had removed it because it had died. It didn't make it. And I blamed myself a lot because I was on my book tour and it made it difficult to water it every week like I was supposed to. It probably wasn't my fault. I think a deer ran into it at some point, so it might. Maybe it never bounced back. But regardless, I was really depressed about this tree not being there anymore. I thought, what does this mean? Is this some reflective of something in me? Did I change in a bad way? Things like that? Of course. Well, a couple weeks ago, I saw two or three little apple leaves coming back up out of the ground in the park. And I thought, how is this possible? I got a little plant identifier app on my phone, and it came up apple. And I was like, what? It could come back. I think what happened was they left one of the roots by accident. But there was just something so rewarding metaphorically in that, because I think for me, it was like, oh, I'm still me. I've gone through all of these changes, but I'm still here. There's a little piece of me that's still here, and I'm still building on that person. And really, when you transformed your life, lots of people are going to have some things to say about it. They want you to Be who you used to be. That's what was familiar and comfortable for them. And it takes a lot of. Stacy, you're really nodding to this. It takes a lot of courage to keep going. And that's really where I am in some ways where I have been the last couple of years. So to see those few little leaves coming up, I mean, maybe it's actually going to be a very different tree than the one that was there before, but it's still from the same roots. And it just made me feel so happy.

Wow.

Yeah. I mean, this is the whole my people thing, right? Where it's like, yeah, community to help you achieve your goals and how important it is to surround yourself with people that have the same goal. And it almost makes me think as I hear you tell that story and then hearing Melissa B. Even mentioning the homebound and then noticing the sprouts and being able to really tap into that is how important it is for us to have them celebrate these things that are happening just even around us. And then adding to what Lisa and Melissa were saying with the imagination piece. And then we go into what Darcy with manifesting it all. And so, wow, this is gonna be so good.

Do you wanna get into their videos and photos?

Yeah, yeah.

That's how many stories behind that.

That would be great. Okay, I'm gonna show your picture and then you'll just kind of share the story behind it. Is that everyone's good with that. Okay, cool. We'll do this. All right, so we are going to do Melissa. Here we go.

I'm going to try to make this as quick as I can.

Okay.

Okay. So this picture is me. And you can't see what this is, but this is a Toyota 4Runner. And in 2023, my car was stolen right outside this back window. This is when cars were Hyundai Sonatas were being targeted. And. And that moment could have crushed me. It should have because I literally was broke. I had just left a seven year relationship and this car was never found, was never recovered. And it actually is what got me to launch my coaching business because just so many bad things were happening at one time. And I told myself I'm either gonna be driving around in a beater or I'm gonna drive my dream car. There's not gonna be an in between. I chose to go my dream vehicle. And May of 2024, I literally sat in that bed back there. I chose. I wanted a black 4Runner. I drove it, literally drove it, pictured the music, pictured everything. And I just had this certainty that I knew that this was gonna happen. I did not obsess about it. I'm like, it's gonna happen when it happens. A year and two months after my car being stolen, I purchased my dream vehicle, which is literally a black Toyota 4Runner with a sunroof. I said, I will not buy a $40,000 car without a sunroof. I'm not doing it. And the last couple weeks of me wanting this car, two other vehicles fell through. And I kept asking, is this the universe telling me I just need to go cheaper? I need to go less expensive? And I had almost given up, almost went, whatever. And then. And that morning, I opened up my app, and there was this black Forerunner after two black ones fell through on me, and there was this one with the sunroof. And I went that morning, and I bought this one, the exact one that I envisioned in my bed over there. And now her name is Faith, the Forerunner, because it happened so effortlessly while also me working my butt off to get myself in the position. But that's why I thought, if I can manifest this, the sky's the limit. It really is. So that's why I said, right there, envision this moment before it happened, because that's what happened.

Wow. This is incredible.

I just.

I feel like, wow. This makes me think of one of the people in my group, Jean Green. Actually, Darcy. You know her, she has this my people party, which is. It's called oh, Snap. And it's kind of like this, where we get to watch pictures. And I really. It opens up a whole another layer of something that you wouldn't have known. Such a good idea, Laura. You're constantly adding to the. Everything we're doing here.

Okay, cool.

Let me grab it.

Here we go.

Okay. This is fun.

I love this picture so much.

So this is a picture of me in Antarctica. And the subtitle of My book is one breakup, six continents, and feeling fearless after 50. So I used to work on a cruise ship, and I traveled for many years all over the world, but I had never been to my final continent of Antarctica. And so it was really a gift of the book and finishing. It was so hard to write that memoir and talk about my divorce and talking about horrible things that happened, but this was just so much joy. So I traveled with a hula hoop, and I started traveling with a hula hoop a long time ago for exercise. And I really never filmed it or put it in pictures. And I was on a trip where I was filming on a brand new ship, and one of the guys was like you have a hula hoop and we're not filming it. So I've been trying to film more with it. So this is on what's called fast ice. So we were able to walk out on this ice and I did hoop here and I am actually working on a Guinness Book world record about as a woman being. This is south of the Antarctic Circle. So they claim that about 800,000 people have been to Antarctica over human history. But only a hundred thousand have been south of the Antarctic Circle. So south of the Antarctic Circle, hula hooping. And I actually left this hoop in Antarctica with one of the guides and she has taken it all over South America. And I have a new hoop. But it's definitely one of the things that sometimes I feel so embarrassed. I'm like here I am hula hooping in Antarctica. But it really does make everybody laugh. It's very hard not to be smile when someone's hula hooping. And for anyone that thinks they can't hula hoop, you need an adult size hoop. You can't use the hoop you used when you were an eight year old girl. And it does come in pieces. That's one of the questions I get asked the most. It comes apart like, like PVC pipings. But I had the most incredible, incredible time in Antarctica. I did the polar plunge. I walked with the penguins. It was truly the height of my bucket list. It was so amazing.

I just want to add, I love it so much that you do this Lisa, because it's so. God, what's the, what's the word? It's not an advertisement but it's like everywhere you go you bring you and it's the people whoever's around you is going to see. Here's who she is and this is why she's doing this. And if it were me doing it at first I would feel the same way. I would be like oh, do I look silly or I don't, I don't know. But the fact that you consistently do it, I mean Lisa has so many pictures of herself. Woohooping. And I mean this is just my favorite one of the ones I've seen. But it's such a cool way to communicate how you feel and that's what we should be doing, I think. Well, I don't like to use the word the word should but I think it's very freeing if you just let yourself be your authentic self and express that and it really does lift other people up.

It's a funny thing though. I, I filmed, I did My first full length travel TV special. I filmed a 24 minute special in Ireland, which actually just won an telly award. Yep.

It's awesome.

But I hula hooped at all these castles. And the team that I was with at one point, they were like, we're not filming this anymore. You can't use this footage. I'm like, actually, it's my show and I hired you, so you're gonna film me. And then every level, from the filming to the editing, people really pushed back on me. But it came out so great. It's so quirky. Here I am hula hooping in a castle in Ireland. But it looks good. So sometimes you have to do stuff even though you're not sure it's the right thing. And I was thinking about what you said about the courage of the lion. The lion didn't know he had courage until some reflected that back to him.

Yeah.

And until he used it to help his friends.

It makes me realize too, even when I think about Laura with the Nelson story, that Jack True style where we. When you have a reason, there's something that kind of drives you to do it. It helps you kind of almost own your play even more.

Yeah.

I was doing my dad's bucklift for my dad.

Yeah.

I could detach from. What would Laura usually do? That was the reason I was able to transform.

Yeah.

Okay, who's next?

Darcy. Okay, here we go. Darcy.

Oh, my gosh. So this was an unexpected bucket list checker offer here. This was this past October of me paragliding off the Swiss Alps in Interlochen, Switzerland. And it was one of these things that I tried to talk myself out of. Cause I kept thinking, oh, the money. That it's going to actually put this money towards something else. And then it was like, wait. Wait a damn minute. Let's look at this.

Girl.

You are in Switzerland. I mean, dream trip here. I'd never been to Europe before, ever. I just got this nudge. I heard, just, just get yourself there. I gotta tell you this. I literally just got the cheapest flight to Europe I could. The cheapest flight I could find was to London. So I showed up in London. I literally had no plan, no plan in place. I had no idea where I was gonna go. I was going to be there a month. And I just followed inspiration. Where I kind of felt the spark to go or where I felt the pull. So I felt that pull. I ended up there in Interlochen. And like I said, I mean, trying to talk myself out of it, but it was like, wait. Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I mean, here we are, the opportunity of a lifetime. When am I ever going to get to go paragliding off the Swiss Alps again? I mean, especially. I've got my health and my legs. And there was a point I was £300. I mean, I could never have done this. I mean, the weight limit for this was 200. If you were more than two, they couldn't go. So that I'm just reliving it here. Literally, my whole body is just shaking. But, yeah, talk about the trip of a lifetime and not knowing where you're going. That makes it interesting. Oh, by the way, I gotta say, Lisa, too, when I hit the road, I've got a hula hoop, the one like you said, that breaks. And I've got. I was doing that, just kind of hooping around and doing video. So I was getting exercise, but also learning neat tricks and things.

Things.

I want to share one other thing, too, about courage and doing things that are a little bit uncomfortable, or like what Stacy said about having a little mission. Kind of got a little something like Lisa's saying, I'm going in with the hula hoop. One of the things that I've been doing on my travels is I wanted to do photo shoots in epic locations and beautiful gowns. So I travel with this gown, and so I find this really awesome location, and then I. Sometimes I have to ask a complete stranger if they would take my picture. And there I am at the Grand Canyon with this big gown on. Of course, everybody's staring at me, and they're probably thinking all kinds of things that do it anyway. And one of the other things that I've been doing that is like a little mission, as I call it, dollar for your dreams. And I love going around the country and finding out what people's dreams are. And I get to meet the most incredible people and hear them ever. We've all got a dream. And then what I do is I write their dream on that dollar, and I give them the dollar, and I tell them, this is the first dollar to go tour your dreams. And just seeing them light up, and I try to take pictures of that, they'll let me out. That's always out of my comfort zone as well, is to ask, do you mind? Can I take a picture with you? And that's when I go back and look at those pictures, some of those memories of those people lighting up, sharing their dreams. So that's what I got for that one.

That's incredible. Darcy, A couple things from what you just said, that's so what we're doing in Modern Prairie. There's just something so special about here. We're giving you permission. This is a safe space. You can talk about it here and go after it. The gowns, they started a new thing in Modern Prairie called Tiara Tuesday, where everybody puts on a crown and they take a selfie and they share it. And it's. I actually got. Okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but I got little sweaty bands that have glitter on them, but that I use for running. I'm like, here's my crown, guys. Third thing, when I saw you do that paragliding, and I was following avidly every step of that trip that you took. Cause you were sharing it all on Facebook, I forgot about your weight loss. And that just almost made me cry, because, of course, that would be so meaningful to you. And it's so beautiful how we're following our creativity and we're owning our play, but in doing it, we're also owning. I get to do this now, and my former self is cheering. And I just think that's so special and so cool.

Okay, here we go.

We are.

Here we go, Melissa. Okay, and watch this.

No, I'm.

Should we show the second one, too?

Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see that. Here we go.

Hi. Here for me? Yeah.

How cool.

Fertile imagination. A guy for stretching every mom's superpower. For maximum impact.

Healthy Halloween today.

Kindle version for only 99 cents on Amazon.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Here you go.

All right.

Thank you.

I think when you have a business for 13 years, you'll do anything to just make the sales happen. And I think that's part of. It's interesting because when I look at both reals, those happened because I was present in the moment. And I want to just emphasize that because I didn't realize how many missed opportunities there could be around any single person, whether you're a parent or a caregiver of an aging parent. There's so many opportunities to add a lightness to the moment, and they don't have to cost a thing. And so with the first one, we were living in Australia, so I guess Oz, quote unquote. But they don't actually call it Oz.

Fun fact.

Because I tried that. And they were like, yeah, you're clearly not from here if you're calling Australia us, but we were living in Australia, so what does that mean? That means that you can own your dreams and own your play, even if you are an adult with three kids. And a whole family. No one told us we had to live in Australia. Me and my husband decided that we wanted to switch things up in 2019. And so that was us. In a playground in Australia overlooking Sydney harbor and all of that, you kind of catch a glimpse of the Opera House. And I take my kids to playgrounds. And everywhere when it goes to playgrounds, you see age ranges, right? So it's like this set is for someone between the age of 9 to 12. This set is for someone between the age of X to Y. This is how you make anything more playful. Just dare yourself to do something that is not intended for you at your age range. Literally anything. And yes, some things might break, that has happened. But that flying fox, which is what they call it in Australia, I don't even know what they call it here in America. That wasn't intended for me. And so I have three boys, and they're also my videographers sometimes and photographers of the times. And so I said, you know what? I'm going to get on this flying fox. Were there other moms there?

Absolutely.

Were there other kids waiting their turn as well? Yeah. But guess what? I counted. And so I got on that line the tallest at 5ft, and I decided to take my turn and try to see if I could just not fall or break something. Although I hit a scooter in that flying fox moment. And here's what that did for me. And anyone listening might be encouraged by for me. It gave me that feeling, that sensation that I had as a little girl when I was so, so scared to climb the monkey bars because I was the gentle, dainty little girl. And so I have this thing going on in my mind that I'm trying to be, all of a sudden, at 46, an athlete. I'm trying to be more physical. I'm trying to be just more adventurous in a very outside in the world playground sort of way that I could break something, but I want to not break something. Right? So that was that real. That was being present in the moment. $0 just, okay, I'm here. It says 9 to 12. I'm not 9. I'm not 12. But I'm gonna go ahead and just get on this thing. And then with. With the other video, the reel with me in my son's Halloween costume, that was also a present moment thing. Also a total cost of ownership opportunity. So, for example, you go to a hospital, they have an X ray machine, and they want to decrease the cost per use of that X ray machine, right? So Halloween costumes, you Wear it once.

That's it.

I have three boys, right? Maybe one likes Pokemon, the other one likes whatever else. Eevee or whatever. So, okay, I just splurged on a costume. I'm gonna use it right now. And so I was launching my book Fertile Imagination, and it was on Halloween, which went against the grain. A lot of people say it should have been Mother's Day because it's intended for moms, entrepreneurial moms. And I decided. I said, well, let me reduce my total cost of ownership of this costume. So I just took it, and I literally took off my shirt. I had a bra on underneath. I don't even know why I did that. Technically, I could have just kept it on, but anyway, so I did that. I put on this big Slurpee, right? That's what it is, a Slurpee. Fall, guys, whatever. And then I just told my kids, and I do this a lot. I said, hey, kid. 1 of 3 Whoever, please videotape me. And I just spur the moment. I went outside of my door, and I frankly don't care if a neighbor saw me. And I just made up that line. And I was just like, all right, that's it. If it makes me laugh, it's gonna make someone else's day. And if I get someone to laugh or smile when they've had a really tough day, whether I know it or not, I feel like I leave room for those opportunities. Then I feel really, really good. It's that sensation inside my heart that makes it worth it. And also, secretly in my mind, I'm like, no one else is gonna do this. So I feel a little badassery about it, but. Yeah. Whether or not that sold specific books, I don't know. But the whole idea is that now I get to look at that and relive that moment. And it was really stressful. Anyone that has a book. Oh, my gosh.

So stressful.

So it just made me smile, and that was it. And it reduced that total cost of ownership of my Halloween costumes.

Yes.

Wow. My gosh.

Can I ask a question real quick? Yes, please. Just. It's urgent in my brain.

Okay.

Well, every. When something's happening, you have to say every person in this room, and not just through anecdotal experience, not just through lived experience. Every person in this room has studied, and that includes you, Stacey. Has studied what happens when we play, how things begin to fall into place when we embrace that feeling of play. And I'm just curious what each of you thinks that is. What is that magical energy about just as an example, when I published my book, I had a lot of people saying things to me like, oh, all your hard work was worth it. And it was like, I wanted to say sometimes or even scream. It's not about this outcome was not about what people think of me because I'm the maker of this. It's about the fact that it was such a blessing that I got to experience those dreams of my dad's, and I got to be there in that moment. It's about the journey and about being in that moment and experiencing that play. So I'm just curious if each of you have had that feeling, and what is it about that? Is there an openness? Do you raise your vibration? Why do things start manifesting in your life that are your true dreams, the things you really want to do? Why does that happen so much more easily when we're letting ourselves just be braveish or in our fertile imaginations, or why does it work that way? And, Stacey, I want to hear your answer, too. Yeah.

So what's coming up for me right now, and I don't know if this is a direct answer, but this is what's screaming at me is now that I'm. I'm training people to host these challenges, license them, and all that stuff, I have someone. People are doing the dating dare challenge. That's the first challenge that I did when I started to do the thing. And she was like, oh, because I have people that have gotten married since doing that challenge. And she's like, oh, if you could start to kind of track those results, that would be good for the new hosts and the people that are running the challenge. And I was like, honestly, that's not what this is about. This was about the women who had found themselves single again to realize that they don't have to wait for people and they got to own their play really, in their life again. And what that does is it removes. And I think now I'm answering question, it removes the blocks and all the things that we think we need before we can do whatever it is we want to do. And that's when the opening happens, because now we can actually see it because we're not in our own head. And so that would be. Yeah, what I would think would be, I mean, that's so powerful. I mean, it's like that with money. It's like that with dating. It's like that with rejection. Well, as soon as we can remove the mental baggage that can keep us stuck, that's where we're able to See everything that's open and then every door that opens, a new door opens and whatever that looks like for you.

That's why you're my Ernie. Stacey and I, she'll be like, let's do this, let's do that. And I'm like, wait, don't we need to do this first? She just, she dreams so big and it helps me to let go a little bit. Anybody else?

Yeah, I just want to hop in there just a second. Everything that Stacy said and play is. It's to me it's the ultimate and manifesting because what happened? Well, I mean like you said Laura, not only is it raising your vibration, but a lot of what Stacy said, what happens is when you're playing it is in your imagination and there's no expectation, there's no attachment. You're not worried about judgment, there's not logic getting in there and saying, well that's dumb, you can't do that. You can't because it's just, it's play and there are no limits when you're playing. And like I said, I think the biggest thing with that is, is that you're not trying to create an outcome. It's just you're doing it simply because you love it and. Right. It goes back and doesn't even need to make sense. You just loving it and then it. There it goes again of raising that frequency. You don't have the attachment to it and it's just like, I mean stuff just fills in so fast. As far as manifesting.

Yeah. Out clubs are for grown ups, I guess, right?

Oh yeah.

And if I could just chime in.

I think for me when I play I love myself way more period. For me it's like I love to play, I've always loved to play and I just feel like I am loving myself. So it's complete embodiment of the act of being silly and because it feels a little contrary, contrarian to what people would expect from someone like me and someone that is a mom and hey, didn't I grow out of that? Clearly not.

It's.

I don't know, it's so I. It's part of my identity but it's for me that is self love for me.

I think one of the other things about play is thinking about all the research on flow. So I know for myself when I'm stuck in an article and I get out of my office and I leave my desk and I go swimming almost every time I can figure out how I've solved the problem of the Article. So whether I'm at my ceramic studio or I'm in the water, I think one of the things is just getting out of that locked in, feeling in our heads. And I know we've been talking a lot about art as creativity, but I. I think it's important to have a really expansive view of creativity and flow, that it's not necessarily one way. Everybody doesn't need to have the same colored markers. That's made such a big difference for me. I said in the beginning, we talked about, went to school. I took a lot of UCLA classes during COVID And one of the classes was a meditation class. And one of the things he talked about all the time was it's not necessary that you can keep that meditation feeling on the top of the mountain when you're alone. But can you hold onto that feeling when someone's disagreeing with you or when you're out in the world or when you're in relationship? And we talked about walking, meditation, and it was the very first time I ever heard someone talk about swimming as meditation. And so I think it's that same kind of feeling of flow, creativity, exercise.

Art, whatever you call it, that it's.

We're not all drawn to the exact same way to play.

Yeah, I love the route of swimming. I'm actually gonna treat myself to that later today. Cause I started doing it during the pandemic with triathlons. But you know what the thing is about swimmin? You take up space. That's the thing I've noticed as women when we swim, it's like I'm real big right now. And there's just something about that. Right. About that movement that's happening. Melissa B. Who was named after Melissa Gilbert.

I was Melissa Gilbert and sweet Melissa from the Allman Brothers. Those two. So what came up for me is it really is kind of everything that you guys are talking about when we are so locked in, which the word to me kind of comes control. We're trying to control. We're trying to think about how this is going to work, how it's not going to work. And then when we finally allow flow, when we step away, when we just go have fun, whatever we do, that is when the things start to fall in line. And I know for me these last three months, just so much stuff has happened, not in a good way. And one of the biggest things that I know that I've done is I've just worried constantly. And I haven't done that in so long. And so even on a camping trip I know that I ruined my camping trip because I just felt like I was so worrying. And the next day I got back and I'm like, I have to stop worrying and just enjoy life and know and trust and surrender and all these things and know that things are going to be okay, and allowing myself to basically play and not stress out and think about everything that was going to happen, it changes things. Even if you have all these things in the background going on, you can still play and have fun. And that's usually what kind of shifts things, I think.

What kind of advice do you give your clients, who you coach, about how do they shut down those voices of worry?

Mm. Well, I really try to encourage them to know that these are just kind of past conditioning, past stories, patterns that we're used to. For me, a lot of my worry is around money, because I didn't grow up with money and all this stuff. And so if you can be able to look at these patterns and know that this isn't the way that it has to be, and there can be a different reframe, there can be a different perspective. I often ask, is there a different truth that could be happening right now besides the one truth that your brain is focused on, which will often help them? Because getting a different perspective or thinking about it in a different way obviously can help. And it's understandable, obviously, why people worry. But then it sometimes there was a quote that I don't know who said it says, worrying will never change the outcome. And I used to believe that. Now I believe the opposite. I think worrying can absolutely change the outcome and bring more stuff to you that you don't want. So I know it sounds crazy, hey, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay. But sometimes that's what we need, to just go and play and not have all that stress.

I'm gonna remember that. Such a great line. Is there a different truth? Because when children play, that's what they're doing. They're playing make believe and they're invented, choose. And that's kind of what we have to absorb too. Melissa Lorena, I wanted to ask you a question. You've interviewed so many incredible people who are in your book. Have you noticed that they do what you do, that they love themselves more when they're playing and that this is a thing, that this is a key to their fulfillment in their lives?

I would say absolutely. For example, Beth Comstock. So she worked at ge, which doesn't necessarily come top of mind. When you think of playing, you think of Aviation and all this mechanical stuff, General Electric. And she was the cmo. And for her, she got her best ideas on the road. For example, just like K Pop concerts, who thinks, okay, I want to sell, so let me go to a K Pop concert. But the lesson there was something is trending. Something seems to be getting the attention of fans, having really loyal fans, Gung ho, totally engaged in South Korea. So let me go to South Korea, see what K Pop is all about, and maybe I'll derive some insights that I can then change according to what's acceptable at GE and inspire some innovation. And so for her, as it is for a lot of the guests that I've had on my podcast, it's been a source of inputs, new inputs. That's how they've leveraged play. So they might do things that are unexpected. For example, read books from a totally different section of the library. And if you're homebound, you can download Libby and do the same exact thing. Just download a book that is totally outside of your comfort zone. If you're a garden reader, so you want to read about garden stuff, start reading about sneakers. Might seem weird, could be very weird, but. But could also be inspiring. It's an opportunity for you to cross pollinate and come up with new ways of existing in this world and maybe coming up with your own solutions to challenges that bother you. So that's what I've noticed in terms of my podcast guests. They're open to how can I be part of a situation that's going to get me new insights, new things that I might want to play with and then derive a solution around? So it's really about innovation for them a lot of times and just something to look forward to also. So if you're a really stressed out Fortune 500 executive, you need to have little elements of play peppered in your year so that you can really decompress, right? And it could be playful, it could be something that's not just laying down on a beach.

I'm weird that way.

I'm not a lay down on the beach person. I'm rather restless. So for me, I'm drawn to that. Playing on vacation, I like that stuff.

So no matter where they've gotten to, they're continuing to let themselves explore a hundred percent.

And Beth Comstock now is doing watercoloring now. So it's ageless, timeless. There really is no end game. It's perpetual. What's going to be playful and nourishing for you at your stage?

And Melissa, I think you just helped Me come up with another comfort circle. So I think one circle is kind of read or learn about it for these action ones, and then another one is doing it and maybe doing it in the app and then doing it outside the app could be what it is. But yeah, I think that's really cool because it's a whole level of understanding that we're able to do when we read and learn. And we can also do something different.

On a personal point of view. I'm at a place and I think maybe, Lisa, you can relate to this as well. After you've done a big thing like writing a book and Melissa Lorena, too, after you've done that, people, I think, start placing expectations on you of this is who you are. This is what I thought the book was. You're done now in a way, right? You did the thing and now you're done. And I've sort of been trying to navigate that in my own life of, well, but I'm not done. I'm still doing. I'm doing something else. And this has really. Hearing all this advice has reminded me me so much of the mindset I was in when I started out on that journey and that I'm actually still on one that hasn't totally been defined yet. And I feel like that's part of it, too, is when you're owning your play, you don't have to define for anybody what it is that you're doing. And like Darcy kept saying, people were like, what is this? What are you doing? And it's like, so what? Mind your business. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And Melissa Bray, you envision things in your life, like that car that were going to come true. And it's a faith process, isn't it? You're operating on a different level when your choices revolve around, I just have faith this is going to happen and we don't have to explain. So all of you are reminding me of how important that is today. Little kids don't have to explain what their game is and what they're doing. They're just having fun. So thank you so much for that.

I'd love to go around the room and just hear what your number one piece of advice is for people on owning their play and also kind of what they're participating in. The challenge, for me, the thing I'm actually really excited about with the challenge now, Laura, after you reminded us about the TR Tuesdays, because that was something that came from Follow youw Heart, where we had this leadership Team. So with the challenges, it develops a leadership team within a community. And they really took it on to be able to create these really cool spaces. And I now call them my people parties. So I think during this challenge, I'm excited about integrating that more into it where they can have these really fun kind of zoom meetups around, whether it's drawing or crafting or reading even would be really great. So, yeah, I would love to just maybe have you guys share for you in terms of advice for people.

I'll go. I think just the name own your play. And we were talking about not having a definition. It doesn't have to be this certain thing to be able to maybe be in the present moment, enjoy it. And then also looking back and seeing what it morphed into, that's kind of what comes up for me. And I know for me, I used to be this person that everything had to look like everybody else. If people journal five times a day, that's what I was supposed to be doing, because that's what everybody says, what you're supposed to do. But if people are going to do their play, know that it doesn't have to be like the rest of the people. If your paint color doesn't turn out like the rest of the people did, that's okay. That's what was coming up for you. I know Lisa kind of spoke on. I think she touched on that kind of about. It doesn't have to look like everybody else's. So just owning it and being okay with your own authenticity.

Yeah, I'll go. Just because it bounces off of Melissa's there. And again, I said it at the beginning. And like I said, I can't not give Stacy Lauren credit for it. And it's been the most helpful, uplifting, expansive thing in my life is to just do it messy. And it just. It doesn't matter what your hair looks like. Little kids aren't going. They're going to go outside to play. And they're not like, okay, wait a minute. Well, it's okay to go out there and play.

No.

And it gives other people permission to just be Stacy. When she first introduced that and she shows up with the shower cap on as I went, here I am. And you appreciate that when you see somebody just being real, you feel that connection. And like I said, it. It gives you that permission slip if you need. And it goes back to then taking attachment or it has to be a certain way. It's got to look a certain way. I've got to look a certain way I've got to sound a certain way. And then you're just. You're literally talking about flow. You're flowing from your heart. I made a video. Stacy saw it. I went out there. She did that and went, here I go. I just rolled out of bed. I mean, my hair was all over the place. I didn't have a bra. I mean, like, this. This is how I feel right now. And that ended up being my most popular video ever too, by the way.

I would say for me, and I would bring it back to my book, because that's how Laura and I met is with the 50 challenges, is that the hardest? The hardest part for me was just getting started. And that's the thing I always tell people, is to start really small and to start for free. People ask me, how do I get started on the website? Should I spend all this money? I'm like, don't spend money in the beginning on anything. Maybe you won't like it. But one of the lessons I took the most from scuba diving is that you never go without your buddy. And with the 50 challenges, people always ask me, what was the scariest thing? And there were a number of things I never would have done. I never would have done the first challenge, and I never would have done what in the book I think is like 48 or 49 was without somebody saying, I'll do it with you. And I know you said you have the app and that people have this community and leadership, but sometimes you just need one person to either be an accountability buddy or to actually do it with you. And for me, that's definitely made the biggest difference.

Your book, I feel like it goes nicely with Melissa's. Did you guys have the same cover designer? They seem like they should be buddies.

Purple is a fun purple. And, yeah, those are just fun color palettes.

I can see why they're both so successful. It's really appealing covers. Thank you.

Thank you. Let's see. When it comes to last words or advice, I wanted to just make it super, super practical. And what came to mind for me is that that if you're ever in a situation where you might feel like, okay, I have to go to the medicine cabinet and take something, because I don't feel good. I feel stressed. I have to eat something. But maybe nutritionally, you don't want to, but you're stressed, right? The emotional eating. Or maybe you are sober, curious, and you're like, okay, I can't drink now. But, man, in the old days, I certainly would have. Cause it was A tough day. Those are the moments. Those are the prompts. Those are the instances where play might be a very useful alternative. Right. So those moments that you would choose something else that you no longer wish to choose in your life, I would offer anyone listening and considering this challenge to really consider play as another way to feel better, to navigate tough emotions. And I say this even if it's a really, really tough experience, because it's helped me even in very tough experiences. And it's not about making light of the experience. It's about getting yourself psychologically ready to then step it up from an energetic perspective and tackle whatever needs to be tackled head on and full force. And so play as a really big tagline is an alternative for anything else that you might feel kind of shame for after the fact, or not so good about after the fact. Consider play as an alternative tool and sort of little mini solution for you to get through to the next day.

Hmm.

And I offer one piece, too.

Yes.

You really made me think of this, Melissa, because as you're saying that what I'm thinking is I'm putting myself in that position and thinking, like, but it's so much work to do the play thing instead. I'd rather just go eat some ice cream. And I think that's because we're sort of conditioned, I think, from a young age to avoid pain, to avoid what it feels like to make effort, and we forget after a while, wait a minute. Doing something that's playful doesn't take effort, but it's like, if you avoid pain and you avoid doing something different or trying something new, then you're never gonna find out what you really like and what is fun for you and what really makes you blossom in a way. And one of the things I used to tell people when I started doing my Dad's Bucket List was advice I heard Drew Barrymore give once on Inside the Actors Studio, which was any moment in her life where she was so afraid of something that she wanted to puke. She knew that was the thing she was supposed to do. And it really flipped my perspective on that. Because usually if you're so afraid you want to puke, I mean, you're not just feeling those butterflies in your stomach like you were talking about earlier. Melissa Lorena, you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to be sick. And it's like, because I'm afraid I can't do this. That's what it is, is there's something in your head that's saying, no, no, this is not for you, this is not the kind of thing that Lara does. So actually, when I heard that, I thought, oh, that makes so much sense. Actually, you're feeling that only because you're afraid, not because you should be avoiding this. And we're sort of taught to avoid those feelings of fear and pain. And, oh, this is going to be difficult. But really, it's no different than, let's say I'm going to go for a walk today, and I'm a little bit out of shape, but it might hurt a little bit. It might make me kind of sore. But actually that's a good thing because it's strengthening my muscles. So next time when I go for a walk, it will be easier. And it's the same thing with that. You make yourself do the things that make you want to puke, because then the next time it won't make you want to puke, you'll realize, oh, I could do that. So I can also do this. And everything builds on everything else. I hope that makes sense.

Well, ladies, thank you so much. It's so cool when we do these panels, Laura, because it's like we know what happens from it. Like, we've seen it now enough, right where we see what. What's birthed from them. And I just want to thank you just from every bone and body that I have, I actually, this whole thing got uncovered because of you.

For me.

Yeah.

For anyone listening, the comfort circle framework that I'm obsessed with, and you were the one, you mentioned it earlier, where the find your voice challenge took on a different shape after you. What I noticed when you were in the do the thing community doing the bucket list challenge, and then afterwards find your voice started was the host. Even though you didn't technically host that challenge and do the thing, it was the bucket list one. Each host takes it on a different shape. And so that's what came from this, and that's why now I'm doing this, where I'm licensing these challenges. And that came from you because you helped me see it. So, anyway, just all the stuff that you were able to bring in with the level of awareness that you have in the introspection, but also in doing the thing. It's been life changing for me and for so many people.

So thank you. Hi. Thank you. You always make me feel like you're giving me a megaphone and things I thought that were unique to me, I recognize are actually very much felt by many, many people. So thank you for giving me the courage to do that. And I think what you just said. Stacy is really reflecting on what Melissa Bright said earlier, which is that it's different for each person. Play is going to be different depending on who you are. And that's what each of your challenges are. It's different depending. I mean each person who you train to host a challenge, they're going to own it and let their spirit come through. And every person in this room has had an experience where they let their inner child come out at a different stage in life and yet they each did it in a different way. And isn't that cool?

If we could go around the room and just share what you're working on so people can follow you, that'd be great.

Oh, I'll go. So I have coming up here on June 22nd is the next round of the 21 Days in a row challenge and the overarching theme is called manifest your big dream. And I bring in expert. They're teachers, guides, mentors, best selling authors to come in and help support that. And you get to be in a community again having that accountability. So that's coming up and you can find that at 21daysexperience.com where you can go to going on a living spree. Either way they go to the same place. So that's upcoming.

Come play.

I'll run and gun with you.

So what do we have going on right now? So I'm actually funny enough I don't know when this will air, but at this time I'm in a move. So really if you want to hang out with me and listen to some of the stories and guests that I've had on my podcast, that would be a great place to go through the archives. I have about 275 episodes and go to mom founder imagination hub that is the podcast. But for everything pertaining to the book you could go to fertileideas.com and I even have a free chapter that actually shares with you. That moment the psychiatrist said makes people anxious when I was on stage. Like you get that free chapter. So enjoy. Hope you are inspired to play your own way. But yeah, so trying to think fertileideas.com and mom founder imagination hub podcast probably available wherever this podcast is available as well. So enjoy the conversations and follow me. Elissalarina that is where you can follow me.

But the website takes you everywhere.

So go to the website and yeah, hope it makes you smile.

I'll go ahead and go. So right now what I am doing is currently I'm just doing one on one coaching but I'm pretty active on my TikTok I absolutely love creating content and inspiring people, people that are feeling I'm not good enough or whatever.

But.

But something has been calling to me more really wanting into hopefully getting into group coaching for women. That's something that has, I have envisioned. And so that is hopefully going to be coming up in the next couple of months. So if you would like to follow me, I am on Instagram and TikTok. Melissa Bright, you can't miss me. You'll see Yellow, of course that's where. Yeah, it's for branding purposes. So yes, that is where my stuff is. And thank you once again to Laura and Stacy. This was a wonderful conversation. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to be here.

Well, thank you so much. Like we said, Laura and I are book buddies from the same publisher. So Bravish is available everywhere. And I do have my own podcast, make youe Own Map. But the best way to find me is my website, lisaniver.com or anywhere on social media. And if you want to see my telly award winning special, that's on my YouTube channel which is closing in on 2.5 million views. So it's all happening. But yeah, anywhere on social media, you'll find me at Lisa Niver.

It's so good. It's an Ireland episode. I watched the whole thing. I love Ireland, but I love Lisa too. This is really, really entertaining.

Thank you for including all of us.

Laura Sharer, Me. What am I doing? Yes. Oh, I did have something very exciting just happen. My book, My Father's List. It won the award for Greensboro's One City, One Book. So the whole city of Greensboro, North Carolina is going to read My Father's List in October. And boy, it's been really exciting because it's kind of relates to what we were saying before. When I went on my book tour, I had paid for it myself. I just went to all these cities because I just felt like it and my intuition was telling me to do it. And I'm so happy I did that now because one of them was Greensboro and that's the place that is now giving me this award. And it's so funny because every person I met along that book tour is now playing a role in this festival in October. They're letting me bring my friends and if I hadn't done that, I couldn't be doing this. So I'm a little overwhelmed and intimidated, I'm not going to lie. But I think it's going to be a really great party that puts a real cap on this journey and helps me kind of accept that I'm in a different one now. Congrats. Thank you.

All right, you guys.

Well, here we go.

We're going to own our play. Do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity.

Opportunity creative. Oh, am I doing a. Oh, yeah. Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate all of you.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

And thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Bye, you guys.

Thanks for listening to the do the thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the thing. Do you have a burning question on doing the thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at dothing callcast co or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.